Date: Mon, 28 Jan 2002 22:12:28 -0500
From: Jennifer Lankford <silverwings4ever@hotmail.com>
Subject: How Do I Say - Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, wish I did, but I don't, so live, as I
do and deal. This story is complete fiction, and if you don't know the
definition of fiction, look it up, the definition will surprise you. But
if you do know the meaning, good job, you are one step closer to the real
world. Problem with this story? Then why the heck are you here in the
first place?

"Good! Again!" The teacher screamed at me. I advanced and did the exact
same thing again.

"Again!" I did the advance again.

"Again!" I did the advance yet again.

A buzzer sounded and I stood up straight. I took off my protective
fencing mask and looked at the clock. The teacher bowed and left the room
quietly.

Another quiet day, another lonely day. I tucked the sword under my arm
and took off my fencing gloves. Walking over to the keeping room, I put
away my equipment and straighted my clothes to get the best out of my
appearance. Standing straight, I opened the huge wood door and walked
down the hall to my room.

Maybe it would help to know who I am. My name is Bradley Christian. All
around good person, only problem... I don't talk. It's not that I
can't, it's that I chose not to. The last time I spoke was when my
family died, and I feel, that by talking, I caused them pain. That was
six years ago, and I haven't spoken since.

I live in a the Switzerland Mountains, in a boarding school of sorts, its
for students that have problems, which I don't understand completely.
They, the owners, think I have a problem. I don't, its just that I
refuse to talk. I came across my room and pulled out the keys to open the
door. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around. It was Luke, one of
the few friends I had. I smiled and hugged him.

"Hey, there's this formal ball type thing Saturday night, a few of the
girls are going and I thought you'd like to go, considering you love to
dress up." Luke said and patted my shoulder.

I shrugged, indicating that I didn't know.

"Come on, it'll be fun, hot girls for me, hot guys for you."

My eyebrows raised, in question. This was going somewhere, but I didn't
know where.

"Some famous group will be there that I know you like."

My eyes widened and I grabbed his shoulders.

"No, I'm not telling until you promise to go."

I let go of his shoulders and turned around and opened the door, shooting
an evil look at Luke over my shoulder. I walked into my room and didn't
turn around, knowing he would follow me.

"Come on Bradley, you have to go." He pleaded. "You'll love it."

I snorted.

"Come on, please? See, I'm even on my knees."

I turned around, and like he said, he was on his knees. I gave him a look
like `what's the catch' and raised my eyebrow.

"Okay, damn, I didn't want to tell you. I told this guy about you, and
he wants to meet you."

My weight shifted to the other leg and I crossed my arms and let out a
sigh.

"I know, I've said that thousands of times, but if I'm wrong, you can
bury me 10 feet under. I didn't tell him about your past or anything, I
told him you were an intriguing guy who would like for a relationship to
work."

I thought about it for a moment, then nodded, barely.

"Yes!" Luke said, getting all excited. "I promise you won't regret this.
I'll give you the details later." Luke ran out of the room, slamming the
door behind him.

I rubbed my eyes and looked at the clock on the wall. `So much for a
shower be for appointment. I changed shirts, cleaned up a bit, and headed
right back out the door.

~ The appointment

"So, Bradley, how's it going?" The doctor asked.

I grunted and shrugged.

"Do you still believe that you caused you're family that pain?"

I hung my head and tried to hold my tears in. He always brought this up.
Always trying to crack my silence to get to the bottom of the reason. I
looked at my watch when I brought my head back up and looked at him. I
was tired of this, but I wasn't breaking the silence.

"Anything new?"

I nodded.

"Good?"

I shrugged.

"We can't get anywhere like this, you do know that right?"

I nodded and stood up. He stood with me and watched me leave.

"I'll see you next week."

I waved my hand behind me and left quietly.

~

That night I lay in bed while the images once again ran through my head.

~*~ "Grandma, no, don't leave, you can't leave!" I screamed. The acid
had eaten away at her legs, at an attempt to save us. I cried, she could
leave me.

"You leave, I'll be alright, I need to be here, where I belong, live a
good life for me." She said and slowly drifted off. I pushed my head into
her chest and cried, long and hard.

"Bradley, we have to go, its coming." Dad pulled me away from Grandma and
hoisted me over his shoulder. I kicked and screamed. The ground shook,
trees fell, the ones that weren't already dead anyway. I looked up and
saw the volcano blow. It was only going to be minutes, if that. Flying
debree, everywhere. I saw my mother fall, screaming in pain. I again
tried to break free from my father.

"MOM!" I cried as she shook with pain. The look in here eyes would haunt
me forever. The look that would lead me to all the silence that a person
could bear. A tree came down in front of us, and my dad jumped it,
pulling my sister by her arm. Dad hadn't stopped for Mom, I realized. He
wanted to save himself and us. I swallowed and watched the volcano again.
We ran through the town that was now deserted, and ran for the old run
down mine. The ground shook again, and Dad fought to remain balanced.

"DAD! ITS COMING!" I screamed over the distruction of everything around
us. He charged for the mine, but tripped, and I was thrown forward off
his shoulder and into the mine. My sister ran ahead, and closed the door
after us, locking Dad out. She bolted the layers of doors, and we ran for
the hiding place in the back of the mine where we hid from our parents.

~ Forward

It had been a week, food was growing thin, but we couldn't get out, it
was almost impossible to get out. Janie, my sister, kept me warm and kept
me fed, while she was slowly dying from lack of food and water.

"Janie, will we make it out of here?" I asked, scared.

"Of course, why wouldn't we, they are looking for us right now, I bet.
Now you go to sleep, and in the morning it will be better." Janie kissed
my forehead and sung softly to get me to sleep.

I awoke the next morning and found Janie on the other side of the cave. I
went over and tried to wake her. I tried and tried and tried... and it
didn't work. I cried and curled myself into her arms one last time.

Three more days passed, and I was awakened by a shaking.

"Anyone in here?" Someone screamed from the front of the cave.

"In here, please, get me out." I said in a small voice.

"There's someone in here boss, a kid I think." Voices continued. I went
to the door that was crowded with rocks and screamed into the door.

Within 5 hours, I was out, and in the hands of the government. I'd been
the only one to escape the volcano. The one everyone said would never go
off. I looked up at the volcano and swore never to speak a word of what
would happened.

That turned into not speaking at all, people just wanted to know how I
had survived, they didn't care about me.

~*~

I sat up straight and tried to catch my breath, it happened every night,
the images, the voices, the volcano. And that was six years ago. Morning
would come fast, faster than expected.

And it did, the next morning, I had my fencing lesson, and Luke waited
for me by my room. I unlocked the door and let him in.

"Okay, Bradley, I talked to the guy, and he really would like to meet
you. Are you still in for tomorrow night?"

I nodded and fell onto my couch. I pulled a pillow over my head and tried
to block out all light. Luke sat across from me and watched me.

"You know what you're wearing?"

I snorted and shook my head.

"Well you need to decide."

I shrugged, what was so important about looking good if you were just
going to get laid later on?

~ Saturday Night

"Excited?" Luke asked, he was jumping off the walls.

I shrugged, and sighed, not really wanting to be there. We walked into
the ballroom of the Grand Hotel and looked around. Luke immediately ran
off to get us drinks. I stood with him while he talked to a few girls
from school, and looked around the room. I did a double take when I found
a pair of eyes watching me. A pair of bright green cat eyes.


Notes: That's it, want more? Email me! silverwings4ever@hotmail.com
want more of my stories?
http://www.angelfire.com/music2/slipupwizshs/index.html
and http://www.geocities.com/ms_sleepalot/front.html

Come back now, ya here?