Date: Wed, 03 Jul 2002 01:09:28 +0000
From: Lady Misterious <lionessy@hotmail.com>
Subject: I am here for you 6
CHAPTER 6
Its was late at night. Brian was extremely tired. All he wanted
was to fall on the couch he had set up for him. He had seen Nick already
alseep in the bedroom and it made him relax. Now all he needed was to get
some sleep himself.
Brian threw himself on his 'bed' and sighed closing his eyes. It
didn't take much until he was far away gone in his sleep.
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At three o'clock he was waken up by screams coming out of the
bedroom.
Immediatly he got on his feet to listen better. It was Nick.
"Oh, my God!" - Brian ran to the bedroom, sure he was gonna find
someone there hurting his friend. But Nick was the only person in the room.
"No! No, get away! Don't touch me! I don't want to, please lemme
go!" - Nick was crying out, moving desperately between the sheets, fighting
against something, someone Brian couldn't see. He was having a nightmare.
He ran to the bed and tried to stop Nick from moving. He finally
calmed down after a couple of minutes when he opened his eyes and saw
Brian's face next to him.
"What happened?" - Nick asked still arching for breath.
"You had a nightmare, Nick..." - Brian said running his fingers
through his hair.
"NO!" - Nick whined getting away, moving fast and making his ribs
scream out in pain. - "Oh, God..." - he moaned curling up under the sheets.
"Nick, please, let me help you..."
"Go away. Please, Brian. I'm sorry... I can't."
"Why not? I am here for you... you can trust me." - Brian reached
his hand and touched Nick's arm softly.
"Let me go. Please, go away." - Nick said this time not looking at
him.
"Ok." - Brian sighed softly. - "Anything you need I'll be right
here."
"Thanks." - Nick mumbled forcing his head onto the pillow.
Brian went away. His heart broken seeing Nick like that. It seemed
as if years of distance had been set between Nick and him. Between Nick and
the rest of the world.
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The other group fellows came by Nick's bedroom and payed him a
visit. They talked and joked during hours, letting Nick know how much they
were scared with what happened and that they'd be praying for him to get
over as soon as possible.
They had only two more days to be there and one night. After that
they were flying to France, where they'd be for the next fifteen days. Lou
had told them they'd begin to sing their own songs, and that was what they
talked about the most during the begining of the last night they'd spend
there.
Both Nick, Brian and Kevin couldn't wait to get the hell out of
there.
They said their goodbyes and Brian was the only one left there
with Nick. He also said goodnight and went to his couch.
Nick watched him go. He knew he was building up this distance
between him and Brian. But it wasn't Brian. It was to protect against the
world. How could he know who he could trust in? Nobody... Nick didn't want
to trust again. No one would ever come close enough to hurt him like
that. He lost way too much for being careless with people.
Just as the last night without being on sleeping drugs Nick didn't
seem to sleep. He remained awake for hours. He didn't want to close his
eyes. He was afraid of the dark because he couldn't see whoever entered his
room. And it could be Taison. Why not? He did it once, he could come back
again. So Nick struggled hard with himself not to fall asleep until he gave
in at four o'clock.
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'Again', Brian thought. Nick was having another nighmare, he could
hear him from the living room. He rushed to the bedroom. This time Nick
wasn't struggling or anything, he was just curled up in a ball, his shut
eyes tembling and his mouth letting go several whines. It wasn't from pain,
it was from agony.
Brian got close to the bed and touched Nick's forehead lightly.
"Wake up...!" - he whispered.
Nick whined loudly and his hands grabbed the sheets with strenght.
"Nick, its just a dream, wake up...!" - Brian was touching his
face until he slowly opened his eyes.
"What are you doing here? Leave me alone. Go away, I'm fine." -
Nick sighed sadly and scared away from Brian's touch.
"Nick, you gotta let me help you!"
"Then help me by staying away." - Nick said harshly.
Brian did not answer. He wouldn't allow himself to give up. But it
was being hard. Much hard than he had thought it would be.
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Kevin was at the door of Nick's bedroom while Brian had gone
downstairs to talk to their producer.
Nick was looking out of the window. He could be on his feet. It
wasn't about the ribs; Now he had this other pain coming from his back. And
it didn't hurt physically as much as it hurt deep inside his being. Every
step he'd take he couldn't forget he had been violated. His body wouldn't
let him forget that. But Nick was fighting hard not to show anyone
this. It was just humiliating.
"Kevin, I wanna see him." - Nick said turning around to his
friend.
"Who?"
"Taison."
"What you mean?"
"I want to see him before we leave, I want to look into his eyes."
"Are you crazy?!"
"Kevin, I need to look into his eyes."
They were quiet.
"If I get him to come I'll be able to kick his ass, won't I?"
Nick grinned.
"Definitely."
Kevin grinned back at him.
"I have an idea." - he said taking the phone.
Two minutes later Kevin was talking to Taison. The bastard was
still in the city.
"Hey, Taison!" - Kevin sounded cheerfully.
"Kevin? Oh, hey!" - Taison was scared. Did Kevin know what
happened? Of course he did know! Why was he calling him?
"Whats up dude?" - he was fighting hard to go through this.
"Not much." - why was he being so friendly? Something was
definitely wrong.
"I was thinking if you don't wanna come here for us to talk and
say goodbye. We are leaving tomorrow, ya know."
"Er... I don't know if I can Kevin..." - Taison was confused.
"Come on, man! AJ, Howie and I want to say bye to our buddy."
Taison noticed he didn't mention neither Brian nor Nick.
"I'm sorry, I really think I can't... and what about the other
fellows? Won't they be there to say bye to me?" - he dared to ask.
"Oh, unfortunately no. Actually I haven't seen neither Nick nor
Brian since that day we came back from the museum. Brian called and said
they ran into some aunt of Nick's, so that they would spend some days there
and go straight to the airport to meet us at night." - Kevin avoid Nick's
eyes. He had to lie to get Taison to come.
"Oh, I see..." - That was a wonderful explanation. Brian arrived,
saw the state Nick was in, took him to the hospital and made up some excuse
for the other fellows while Nick was recovering. Its pretty obvious Nick
wouldn't want anyone to know about what happened, and this was a good thing
to Taison.
"So, you comin'?"
"Sure, buddy. I'll be there in half an hour. I'll show up in your
room and we say bye."
"Cool, then see ya laterz!" - Kevin said as he hung up the phone.
Nick looked at him. His eyes were so amazingly different Kevin was
shocked. He had never seen this feeling on them. Nick's eyes showed deep
anger, but at the same time they showed approval.
"I'll tell Brian about this." - Kevin said going away.
"Just... just be back soon. Please be here when he arrives."
Kevin felt his heart melting at the unsaid things behind Nick's
words. The hidden pain he was trying to keep with the wild fear inside of
him.
"I sure will, Nick."
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"No, no and no! Why did you call him, Kevin? I don't want that
bastard close to Nick! Are you out of your mind?!"
"I asked him to do that." - Nick said coming to the living room to
meet his friends.
"Nick! Why do you want to see him? I don't understand!" - Brian
asked sadly.
"I just need to look into his eyes. I need to see if he regrets
what he did to me."
"Will you forgive him?" - Kevin asked baffled.
"No. Never. I just wanna see if he did regret it. Or not."
The three guys looked at each other.
Brian had promised doctor Paul he wouldn't let this man come close
to Nick never again. He just didn't know what to do now.
"Brian, he is about to arrive, now there is no way out. Don't you
dare to stop this because I'm gonna kick his ass. If you see he is bleeding
too much then don't warn me and let me kill him."
Brian sighed. The idea of Kevin getting back a little of the pain
Taison caused Nick was making him give in to this.
"Alright." - he said finally.
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Ten minutes later Taison knocked on the door.
"Hey, come in!" - Kevin said smiling.
"Hey, there!" - he said entering.
As soon as he was in Kevin locked the door and said:
"Welcome back you mother fucker."
Taison's eyes widened as he saw Nick and Brian standing right in
front of him.
"Hey! You lied to me!" - he shouted at Kevin, but his frozen look
made him shut up.
Nick's heart was racing. For the first time he was the one to look
for comfort holding Brian's arm tightly. Brian knew he was scared.
"Oh, I've just been keeping this for too long now!" - Kevin said
as he smacked Taison so hard that he fell on his knees surprised.
"Kevin, please..."
Kevin took him by the shirt and made him stand up. He was bleeding
a little. 'Not enough', Kevin thought as he hit him again making his nose
bleed this time.
Brian was feeling terrible with the scene. He could remember the
last time he had seen Taison. Like years ago... Now it was a different
story. He placed his arm around Nick's waist, but he moved away, steping
ahead and facing Taison inches away. Kevin let go of him and both Brian and
him waited to see what was gonna happen.
"Why did you do that to me?" - Nick's voice was trembling in
anger.
Taison's eyes changed. He grinned at Nick. He had no way out. He
had been trapped. He couldn't careless about what he was about to say.
"Why did I do that? Well, Nick... I did that because I wanted to
fuck you. And, oh you felt so damn good!"
Nick's eyes kept both Kevin and Brian from moving during those
seconds. Nick's bottom lip was trembling in rage.
"You wanna know if I regret it? Well, I don't. Fucking you was the
best thing I've ever done! Ya know, how you were virgin, Nick you were so
tight! My God, I'll never forget the feeling of thrusting inside of you!"
Nick moved his hand quickly to punch Taison but he held his wrist,
hurting him. Nick didn't know what to do. This whole world was fucked up,
he just wanted to run away.
Suddently Taison felt someone take him from behind and knock him
down on the floor. He let go of Nick as Kevin began to hit him several
times in the head and stomach until you could no longer see his face.
Free Nick ran and Brian was the first thing he saw. He threw his
arms around his friend and cried hard. Cried in shame for having his
friends hear those words. Cried in disgust of his body.
Brian held Nick as he buried his head on his chest to cry.
Suddently he let go and screamed for Kevin to stop.
"Let him go! I don't want him here! Kevin, let him go away,
please!" - Nick cried out taking Kevin from his trance while smacking
Taison.
Kevin stopped and Taison left the room quickly using the keys
hanging on the door. Kevin followed him, he just wanted to make sure where
he'd go.
When Nick realized he was alone again he let himself fall onto the
chair and sobbed until his eyes were read with tears, so swollen he could
barely open them
He felt gentle arms hugging him. It was Brian again.
"Don't fucking touch me! Didn't you hear him? I'm dirty! I'm
completely dirty! I... I need to take a shower." - his voice faded out as
he ran to the bathroom.
Brian chased him and screamed for him to open the locked door.
"Go away!"
"Nick, open the fucking door otherwise I'll force it!" - Bian was
afraid Nick would do some crazy shit. And he had reasons to.
"Go away, I wanna die!"
Brian began to cry.
"I won't let you do that! Now open the godamn door, Nick Carter!"
"NO!!!!"
Brian had no choice. He forced the door and found pieces of broken
glass Nick was pressing against his wrists.
Immediatly Brian took them away as Nick struggled hard to get away
from Brian's arms. The blood on his hands was scaring Brian, but he didn't
thought it was a deep cut. He had no time to do something so bad.
"Nick, Nick..." - Brian said pulling him into his arms as he tried
to calm him down. Nick was fighting agaisnt him, but he felt weak. He
didn't want to protest. He just allowed Brian to carry him out of that
bathroom in an almost unconscious way.
Brian looked into his blue eyes.
"I don't wanna live." - Nick whispered as he passed out.
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