Date: Mon, 5 Feb 2001 18:04:20 -0800 (PST)
From: Sarah Gauthier <sarah96_1999@yahoo.com>
Subject: In Search of Love:  Chapter 2

Ok, I told you that I already had the second part
written. So, here it is. Remember that feedback is
always greatly appreciated.
Disclaimer: I don't know them or their sexual
preferences, nor do I know anything else about their
personal lives. This story is purely fictional, and
not meant to offend anyone. If you're not old enough
to read this sort of material or you don't like slash,
then please don't read it.


In Search of Love:  Chapter 2

by: Sarah


     After Britney left, Justin stood in the kitchen
for half an hour.  He hadn't moved an inch from the
spot he stood at to watch the yellow taxi back down
the driveway.  Standing in front of the window,
staring into space, and just thinking.  Thinking
thoughts of love, confusion, and lonliness.  The
shrill ringing pulled him from his thoughts, and threw
him back into reality.  He was still a little out of
it, and didn't recognize the sound at first.  When
Justin realized it was the kitchen phone, he made a
quick dash for it.  But by the time he reached it, the
answering machine had picked up.  The next thing he
heard was the cheerful sound of his voice.  That same
voice he always used at interviews, during concerts,
and when talking to his mother.  The pleasant sound
was a cover up.  Just a shield to throw off anyone who
could even come close to noticing the painful storm
racking his soul all the time. "Hi, this is Justin.  I
can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave
your name, the date, and a message, I'll get back to
you as soon as possible, (BEEP)."
     "Hey, Just.  I just got off the phone with Lance.
 We have to be at the studio at 8 tomorrow for
rehearsal.  Management decided for us to go back on
the road sooner than they thought, so....," his voice
trailed off.  It was like he was searching for the
exact thing to say to get his thoughts through to him.
 Justin still didn't pick up the phone, but it didn't
matter.  At that point, he just didn't have the
strength to talk to him, not to mention he was lacking
the courage. There was a good 15 second pause before
the older man's smooth voice came back on the line.
"Well, uh, just call me later, I guess. See ya, man."
And then he was gone. Justin felt part of his heart
fade with his voice.  'Was there something he was
gonna say? Uh, why does he love her? Why can't he love
me? Should I call him? Should I go over there?' He
knew he shouldn't go to his house. They had to go in
early tomorrow, and that just might not be the best
thing to heal his pain. Or maybe it was. Despite his
screaming mind, Justin's hand reached for the phone.
But as soon as his hand was covering the smooth
plastic, he froze. 'God, what's my problem? Why can't
I just call him?'
     "'Cause I know what's gonna happen if I do. And I
don't think I can handle it right now," he said aloud.
"Great Justin, talking to yourself now. Just great.
Jesus, won't be long 'til you're ready to be
committed." 'Ok, stop this. Just pick up the phone and
call him.' He gently lifted the phone, and dialed with
numb fingers.  The receiver was placed over his ear,
and then there was ringing on the line.
     "Hello?" God, his voice was so beautiful, so
smooth, so far away. "Just?" No answer. Justin tried
to say something, but his voice wasn't cooperating.
He tried to hang up but his entire arm was frozen in
place. "Justin, is that you?"  Finally he found the
words, and forced them out.
     "Yea, it's me," he said softly.
     "I take it you got my message." His voice was
slightly amused, and Justin didn't like it. He shifted
a on his feet, and eventually took a seat at the
kitchen table.
     "I was just walking through the door when you
finished, so I couldn't pick up the phone in time."
'Did he buy that? Please don't let him ask anymore
questions.'
     "Where did you go?" The older man was curious,
and he was prying. It almost sounded like he thought
he had the right to know where Justin was at all
times, and who he was with. In actuality, it was the
other way around. Justin was the one always prying
into his life. He always had to know where the other
man was going and who he was gonna be with.
     "I went to see Brit off at the airport," Justin
answered casually, not missing a beat. 'Was that
believable? I didn't tell him that she was supposed to
just take a cab, did I?'
     "Oh, right. I forgot about that." He was lying.
Justin had told him that Britney was just gonna take a
cab. Why was Justin lying to him? Couldn't he just say
where he had really gone? Or, the real reason why he
had missed the phone call. More importantly, why did
he even care so much why Justin had missed his call or
why he had lied to him. There was a problem. Something
was wrong, and he wasn't gonna figure out what it was
by just listening to his voice.  Justin held his
breath, and there was pause on the line. Finally the
older man continued. "Just, you wanna come over?" 'Ok,
this is it,' Justin thought. 'Tell him "no".' Tell him
that you're busy. Lie. Tell him you have to go to your
mom's house. Yea, like he'd buy that.'
     "Actually, I don't think that's the best idea. We
have to go to the studio early tomorrow, remember?"
'Ok, that's sensible. It's a responsible point. It's
something that he'll understand.'
     "Come on, J. I just wanna talk," his voice was so
warm and inviting. Justin wasn't sure if he could deny
him anything when he started sounding like that.
     "We're talking right now," Justin pointed out
quickly. 'God, please no. I can't deal with this
tonight. Just drop it.'
     "No, I need to really talk to you. I need to be
able to see you, to touch you, to hold you. Please,
Just. Maddie's not here. She left this morning. I just
really need to see you. I've missed you." 'UHHHH, why
does he do this to me,' Justin thought. 'All right,
that's it. No matter what it may do to me, I have to
go over there.'
     "Ok, I'll be there in an hour," Justin said
gently. He had given in. He wouldn't have if it
weren't for the fact that the two hadn't been together
for a week. The older man's girlfriend, Maddie had
been staying at his house while her parents were in
town. And Justin really missed him to. It was true, he
had been lonely, and craving for his best friend.
     "Thanks, I'll see you in an hour," he said
gratefully.
     "Bye." They both hung up, and Justin slowly made
his way to the bathroom to take a shower.


End of Chapter 2


Ok, that's it.  Remember about the feedback thing. If
I get a good response from readers, I might actually
get to the good parts in the next installment.


Questions, comments, ideas? Feedback inspires me to
write, and that means more parts in a shorter time
period. (Hint, hint.)

Sarah96_1999@yahoo.com


~Sarah