Date: Thu, 01 Mar 2001 01:34:06 -0500
From: Dara Lynn <daralynn_writings@hotmail.com>
Subject: "Interlude : Truth"
The "Interludes" are short, J.C./Justin-ish stories that take place in my
"Any Path" universe, between the events of "Any Path" and "No Painless Way".
If you're interested, you can find the "Interludes" and the "Any Path"
trilogy at nifty.org.
DISCLAIMER: I don't know or own 'Nsync. This is all fiction. None of this
is real. Heck, maybe nothing is real. Maybe Lance is a computer-generated
hologram. In which case it'll be much harder for me to stick my hand down
his pants, huh Casey? :)
DEDICATION: Usually these things are dedicated to the authors of my
favorite *J.C./Justin* stuff (with the exception of "Waiting") , but I'm
making an exception once more. This one is definitely for Casey, my
favorite mental patient in angel robes. Mrs. Smythe-Browne is his creation,
but I don't think he'll mind me borrowing her - he's kewl like that. :)
And if you wanna know what the &%*# I'm talking about, check out "Angel" at
Nifty's boy-band directory, I highly recommend it!!!! :)
~INTERLUDE : TRUTH~
"Interlude" # 9
"Nothing's so loud
As hearing when we lie
The truth is not kind
And you said neither am I..."
- "All I Want", Toad the Wet Sprocket
Joey Fatone fell onto his bed with such force that he nearly bounced
off the mattress onto the floor. "Man, I'm bored!"
Chris, sitting on the hotel room's other bed, looked up. "Go out on
the balcony and flash the crowd."
"Yeah, and have Lonnie crush my head like an egg. No thanks."
"So watch TV."
"I don't feel like it. I wanna *do* something."
Chris rolled his eyes, shut his book and tossed it onto his suitcase.
"You're not gonna leave me alone, are you?"
Joey began to pace the room frantically. "Dammit, Chris! You're the
'Crazy One', so *do* something! Break this maddening monotony before I get
cabin-fever and go psycho like Jack Nicholson in 'The Shining'!"
"Um...don't hurt me?" Chris carefully stepped back, trying not to
laugh at the insane glint in his group-mate's eyes. "Dude, calm down. We
only checked in half an hour ago."
"True. But I'm bored!"
Chris grinned. "Hey, how 'bout we tie Justin to a bungee cord and
dangle him over the mob out there?"
"Interesting. Do you think J.C. and Lonnie would kill us or just
mutilate us for that one?"
"Okay, how 'bout Lance?"
Worry seemed to cross Joey's face before he smiled. "Nah, Poo-Fu's way
too delicate. Hey, I got it! Let's play Truth or Dare! All of us!"
The eldest 'Nsyncer groaned. "Last time I played that game I had to
bring a peanut butter sandwich to my next-door neighbor while wearing a
bra."
Joey gave him a strange look. "Um...well, no fear of that now - we're
the only ones on this floor. Come on, please? I have these Truth or Dare
game cards that I've never used and I wanna try 'em. If someone can't think
of a dare or question, he can use one of them. C'mon..."
Chris sighed. "If the others'll play, I will."
"Great, you get Lance, I'll get Justin and J.C."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joey rapped gently on the door, too softly for the room's occupants to
hear. Instead of knocking louder, he quietly opened the door and peeked in.
Justin, the youngest 'Nsyncer at seventeen, was sitting on the carpeted
floor in front of his bed with several books scattered around him. He was
alternating his glances between two of the open ones and scribbling in a
notebook, biting his lower lip as he often did when concentrating.
J.C. was stretched out on his own bed, sitting up against the
headboard. A thick book, probably about philosophy or history, was open on
his lap, but he wasn't looking at it. Instead his gaze rested on Justin,
whose back faced him, a loving smile shaping his mouth. That was the reason
Joey had entered the room so quietly - he had wanted to see that content,
peaceful expression that J.C. wore whenever his eyes were on Justin. Seeing
that always gave Joey a warm feeling inside. He of all the 'Nsync members
perhaps understood J.C.'s dilemma best, as he faced something similar,
unrequited love for a close friend...but he didn't want to think about that
just then. There was warmth there too, but pain as well.
"Hey guys."
Justin, still writing, smiled and waved with his left hand.
J.C. looked up. "Hey Joe. What's up?"
"A game of Truth or Dare, if you guys are in."
"Justin's not done his homework."
The curly-haired blond began scribbling faster. "I'm *almost* done,
Josh. Can we play, please?"
J.C. looked reluctant; he considered it his responsibility to make sure
Justin kept up with his school work. "Maybe later, sweetie. You have exams
coming up."
"C, you know the kid'll ace 'em, he always does," Joey protested. "And
you heard him, he's almost done his homework."
"Joey, we'll be here all night and we have off tomorrow. There will be
time for games later," J.C. said, patiently but firmly. That said, he went
back to his neglected book and resumed reading.
Justin looked up at Joey and shrugged apologetically. The older
'Nsyncer plopped down next to him, a sly look on his perpetually-cheerful
face.
"Sorry, Joe," Justin said softly. "You heard Josh."
"We've not yet begun to fight," Joey whispered. "Go over there and
pout at him."
Justin leaned back against his bed. "I don't like doing that to Josh."
"Why, 'cause it always works? 'Cause he's got no defense for it?"
"Well, yeah."
"Please, Curly?" Joey pleaded. "I really wanna play, I'm bored out of
my mind."
Justin sighed with defeat, rose and sank down onto J.C.'s bed.
'Nsync's group-dad looked up and smiled.
"Yeah, hon? You need help with something?"
"Josh, can we play with them? Please?"
"Angel..."
Joey couldn't see Justin's face from where he was, but he could see
J.C.'s, and from the look of beaten acceptance on it and the smile J.C. was
trying to hide, Joey figured that Justin's cute little pout had once again
broken through J.C.'s defenses.
//'The look' never fails. C's such a sap when it comes to the Baby.
But sometimes that sure works in my favor.//
J.C. shook his head, put his book aside and stood up. Taking Justin's
hand, he headed for the door. As he passed Joey he mouthed "I'll get you
for this, Fatone", but Joey simply replied with an innocent smile.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
The five members of 'Nsync sat in a circle on the floor of Joey and
Chris's room, Justin in between J.C. and Lance, and Joey in between Chris
and J.C. Joey neatly placed a stack of shuffled Truth Or Dare cards in the
center of the circle and cleared his throat.
"Okay, remember, you only use one of these if you can't think of a
question or dare. Who's first? Whoever it is, ask me! I want truth."
"I'll go," Lance offered. "Joey, honestly, how many girls *have* you
slept with?"
"At a time? Only two."
"Um...okay. Your turn."
Joey looked slightly relieved for some reason. "'Kay...Justin? Truth
or dare?"
The teenager, who tended to space out when not being spoken to, looked
up and smiled. "Truth, I guess."
"Does it bother you that almost every gay male I know has wacked off
using pictures of you at least once?"
Justin's eyes widened, as did everyone else's.
"Joey!" exploded J.C. "What the hell is wrong with you?! Why did you
ask that?!"
The Italian seemed guilty, as though he'd just then realized what he'd
said, but answered quickly. "Because I honestly wanna know."
"How could you -"
"Josh, it's okay," Justin interrupted. "I'll answer, I don't mind.
No, Joey, it doesn't."
"I'm sorry, C," Joey said. "I didn't mean to upset you."
J.C. nodded, though he still looked angry. Justin smiled at him before
speaking, which seemed to soften his mood.
"Chris, truth or dare?"
"Need you ask? Dare!"
Justin giggled. "'Kay. Um...I dare you to prank-call the front desk."
"And I thought you'd give me something *challenging*," Chris replied
airily. He strolled over to the phone, picked it up and dialed.
"Hello, front desk?" Chris began, using a shrill, old-woman voice.
"This is Mrs. Eloise Smythe-Brown ein room 320, my good man, and I wish to
register a complaint!"
The other members of 'Nsync clapped hands over their mouths to stifle
their laughter. Justin pressed his face against J.C.'s shoulder and giggled
helplessly into his best friend's shirt.
Chris continued. "Well, I went into the bathroom - you see, I've been
having trouble with my bowels for several years now, ever since my third
husband Delbert died, God rest his soul..."
Lance by this time had crawled under one of the beds, and Joey had
stuffed his entire hand into his mouth in an effort to keep quiet.
"...and I tell you, there was an *alligator* coming out of the toilet!
I don't know what kind of place you're running here, young man, what with
reptiles in the plumbing and that delinquent musical group, Kitchen Sink or
whatever, a few floors up...and what is with this leaving mints on the
pillows? In my day a hotel would give you a blanket, a bit of straw to
sleep on and a complimentary chunk of moldy cheese! And I don't recall
anyone complaining!"
A curly blond head fell into J.C.'s lap, and Justin looked up at J.C.
pleadingly, shaking with controlled laughter. As tears of mirth dampened
the flawless face, he begged, "Josh, please make him stop or I'm gonna pee
my pants!"
Letting his fingers waft through the golden hair, J.C. fought his own
laughter as he addressed his older friend. "Chris, wrap it up, okay?"
The eldest 'Nsyncer nodded. Continuing to be 'Mrs. Smythe-Browne', he
said into the phone, "Oh, would you look at that! The scaly beast has
retreated back to the hellish depths where it was spawned. Never mind then,
thank you anyway, sonny!"
Chris hung up the phone and returned to his place in the circle, his
face completely serious. "The poor man seemed a bit flustered. I think
perhaps his stress level is interfering with his work. Shall we get on with
the game? Joseph, kindly retrieve our bass singer, please."
Lance was still half-under Chtis's bed, his laughter muffled but
audible. Joey pulled him out, and after taking a minute to calm down, they
continued the game.
"Hmm, who shall my victim be? Mmm...J.C. Truth or dare, bro?"
"Dare," J.C. answered after a brief pause.
Chris opened his mouth, then closed it again. A puzzled expression
crossed his face.
"Whoa, I think Chris actually has nothing to say for once! Someone
write down the date!" Lance joked.
Chris stuck his tongue out. "Poo-Fu, you're not the 'Funny One',
you're the 'Inbred One'."
Joey scowled at Chris and shoved him. "Hey."
"Thank you, Joe."
"Any time, Scoop."
Chris shrugged. "I can't think of anything."
Joey smiled triumphantly, and gestured to the cards in the center of
the circle. Rolling his eyes, Chris grabbed the top one and read the dare
aloud.
"'Kiss the person sitting on your right for at least twenty
seconds'..." Chris trailed off as he realized what he'd said.
Justin, seated on J.C.'s right, bit his lower lip and looked down,
shifting uncomfortably. J.C. turned his head and closed his eyes, clearly
not willing to do this.
Chris mentally cursed himself for not reading the card silently
first...if he had he could've made up some excuse. Had this dare involved
any other two people it might've even been done, or otherwise simply laughed
off. But Justin and J.C....
Chris had never seen two people as loving and comfortable together as
Justin and J.C. Most people around them would've been surprised to know
that there were ever any awkward moments like this, when the two who could
smile at eachother for hours could hardly bear eye contact. Usually the
best friends' situation was handled well, spoken of gently and even joked
about. 'Nsync felt bad for both of them, pitied the hopelessness J.C.'s
heart held and the guilt that Justin's hid. But most of the time, as Justin
sat nonchalantly on J.C.'s lap or the two sat close together holding hands,
everything was okay. When Big Daddy and the Baby were blissfully happy just
being with one another, as the usually were, it seemed like nothing could
ever be wrong between them.
Chris watched J.C. and Justin sadly. //I guess sometimes it just kinda
hits them,// he thought. His gaze travelled over to Joey and Lance, who
both looked anxious and worried, and Chris realized how concerned and
apologetic his own face must look. //I guess sometimes it hits *all* of
us.//
"Chris, give him the truth question," Lance finally said.
The tension momentarily broken, Chris quickly obliged. "'If you could
change one thing about the person you love, what would it be?'...dammit."
But J.C. didn't seem disturbed, nor did he hesitate. "Nothing."
Justin looked at him incredulously, disbelief evident in the soulful
blue eyes.
"What?" J.C. asked.
The seventeen-year-old got to his feet and hurriedly left the room
without saying a word.
Chris threw the card down. "C, I'm sorry."
"No, *I'm* sorry," Joey interjected. "I made us all play the game."
"Guys, it's not your fault," J.C. said, sighing heavily. "Neither
Justin nor I want you guys or anyone else to have to tip-toe around us.
It's just...an awkward situation sometimes. I can fix this."
J.C. stood and headed for the door. "And he's not mad at any of you
guys either. He's upset with *me*."
"Because you lied just now?" Joey asked.
J.C. paused in the doorway, looking back to reply before he exited.
"What makes you think I was lying, Joe?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Baby?"
Justin was seated Indian-style on his bed, writing in a notebook open
over his lap. "Yeah?" he asked softly, without looking up.
"I'm sorry about before. Please don't be mad at me."
"I'm not."
"Then why won't you look at me?" J.C. asked as he sat down in front of
the boy.
The angelic face lifted, and scowling blue eyes settled on J.C.'s.
"I'm upset because you obviously think you have to lie to me."
"What?"
"Before, your truth question, about what you would change about the
person you love. You said 'Nothing'," Justin reminded.
"And that's the truth. I wouldn't change anything about you if I had
the power to."
"Josh, come on. I know how you feel about me. Can you sit there and
honestly tell me that you never wish I felt the same about you?" Justin's
eyes glistened, holding back tears.
J.C. took Justin's hands into his own. "No, I can't. If you want the
truth, I *do* wish it all the time. But it's not the same thing."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that I wish you could love me back the way I love you. But you
don't, and because of that I figure you aren't meant to. You being in love
with me naturally is one thing. Me using whatever means to *make* you want
me is quite another, not much different from rape. We are who and how we're
supposed to be, angel, and I wouldn't dare force fate's hand. Especially
not with you."
J.C. fingers caressed Justin's face, lovingly playing over the
flawless, tear-damp skin. "You mean too much to me. And part of loving you
is wanting you to be who you were born to be."
"So, what, you're just meant to be unhappy?" Justin whispered, pouting
sadly.
"I'm not unhappy, sweetie. There are a lot of ways to care for
someone, all of which bring their own joy. Love doesn't have to be returned
in every way to be special, or valuable. And anyway..." The older singer
slipped his arms around Justin's waist, pulling him close. "I love you
exactly the way you are."
"I love you too," Justin murmured as his head came to rest on J.C.'s
shoulder. "I'm sorry I snapped at you."
"It's okay."
After a few moments, Justin gently pulled back. "Josh? About the dare
Chris read you..."
"Yeah?"
"Well...you can, if you want to. I mean, I'd let you," the teenager
said nervously.
J.C. stared at him, an unreadable expression on his handsome face.
Justin felt J.C.'s hands cup his face and lift it slowly, and closed his
eyes. Soft, warm breath tickled the boy's eyelids before a pair of lips
gently pressed against his forehead. J.C. lovingly kissed the smooth skin
for nearly half a minute, inhaling the clean scent of Justin's blond curls,
before sitting back.
Justin laughed a little as J.C.'s arms embraced him again. "That's not
what I meant."
"I know what you meant, angel." J.C. sighed as Justin snuggled against
him. "But I don't want you to ever let yourself be made uncomfortable for
my sake, or anyone else's."
"Never uncomfortable with you," Justin mumbled sleepily. Like a young
child, Justin often got tired very suddenly. He smiled as J.C held him
tighter, one hand rubbing his back and the other fingering his hair.
"Mmm...that feels nice."
"Good." J.C. shifted and lay down on the bed, bringing Justin to rest
beside him. "Are you tired, Just?"
"Mmm-hmm." The seventeen-year-old buried his face in J.C.'s shirt,
breathing evenly with contentment as he surrendered to sleep. "Josh, I'm
sorry I pouted at you."
J.C. laughed. "It's okay, I don't mind it nearly as much as I pretend
to. Now get some sleep, baby."
A few minutes later, when J.C.'s own eyelids had begun to feel heavy,
Joey poked his head in the door. "Everything okay, C?"
"Yeah, we're cool now."
"C, man, I'm sorry about before, about my question for Justin. I did
really wanna know."
"It's okay," J.C. said softly. "I think it affected me a lot more than
him, and him a lot less than I'd expected. I just hate to see him upset
about things he can't control. I guess everyone in love feels that way
about someone."
Joey suddenly seemed morose, a thoughtful frown forming where his smile
usually was. "Yeah. I mean...I guess so."
The Italian singer's eyes seemed to clear, and he smiled at Justin,
adorably curled up in J.C.'s arms. "Does he always sleep like that?"
"With me, you mean? Pretty often. We both sleep better if we're
together," J.C. explained.
"Wow. I don't know many straight guys who are cool with sleeping
cuddled up to their gay best friend." Joey shook his head. "You guys are
weird. But good weird."
The twenty-one-year-old quietly opened the door and was about to step
out of the room when J.C.'s voice stopped him.
"Hey, Joey. Truth or dare?"
Joey laughed softly. "I'm too tired for a dare, so I'll have to take
truth."
"Are *you* in love?"
Joey suddenly looked uncharacteristically solemn. "Yeah, I think," he
answered simply, sadness audible in his low voice.
"You wanna talk about it?"
"Thanks, but no. Suffice it to say, I kinda know how you feel.
'Night, C."
"Good night, Joe."
As the door clicked shut and the room was still and dim once more, J.C.
thought about what Joey'd said as he watched Justin and felt the boy's
steady breathing underneath his hand. He pushed a few stray curls back into
place and kissed Justin's forehead again. Finally, with a skill born of
long practice, J.C. pushed all pains and worries to the back of his mind,
and slept.
~FIN~
ENDNOTE: BTW, I'm really sorry that so many "Interludes" end with everyone
falling asleep. It's wishful thinking on the part of an insomniac with
writer's block - *bad* combo. :) Future stories will hopefully be better -
I do have ideas, and if necessary caffeine pills for these guys. :)
Casey, give me those back, more caffeine is the last thing you need...oh,
hell. Any more and he won't even need wings to fly. :)
And if you like dark, angsty 'Nsync slash fic, be sure to join the NSAngst
Yahoo! group!
Questions, comments to DaraLynn_writings@hotmail.com