Date: Sun, 24 Dec 2000 10:10:11 EST
From: Angel36745@aol.com
Subject: its a wonderful life

Disclaimer: I don't know the BSB nor have I ever met them. I don't know
anyone that knows or works for them. This is just a story in other words
it's all made up. This in my Christmas story, so it won't be continued.

Authors note: Ok this is going to get a little weird. I'm sure that most of
you have heard of it's a wonderful life. It's a really old movie where a
guy wished he was never born. Well, this is my remake of the story. I've
been thinking about it for a while now so here we go. Oh these *** mean a
character change and all that I will also use them for the start of the
story.

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*****Alex

  I watched him sitting alone in his living room. He couldn't see me but I
watched over him. I was his angel the one that tired to keep him safe. His
wish had made me what I am. My wish had helped me come to him this night. I
knew that he was about to make a choice that would change everything. I
stood behind him as he walked into the kitchen. He picked up the phone and
dialed someone's number. He called his cousin Brian and asked if he could
come over. After he hung up the phone he went to his car and drove to
Brian's house. I floated over head the whole time watching him. As he
walked into his cousins house I followed. This house was filled with love
and happiness that I had never seen. But Kevin wasn't apart of that he was
in pain. I noticed that Brian and Nick were a couple. I was so happy for
them it really was a time for love. I just wished that Kevin had the same
feelings. I knew the real reason he had come here. It was to tell his
friends good bye one last time. He planed on killing himself tonight after
he left. I would be there to try and stop him if I could. I had been given
the chance to show him the world without him.

  Kevin said his good byes acting as if all were normal. He then left and
drove to a bridge that was close to his home. He stood on the edge looking
down. "I wouldn't do that if I were you." He almost fell when he heard my
voice. He looked around but couldn't see me I had forgotten that. I waved
my hands over myself pulling myself into his world. He got off the edge and
looked at me. "Your an angel aren't you?" I smiled and nodded lightly as I
walked toward him. "Stay away your not going to stop me now." I stopped
moving and looked at him closely. "Why do you really want to die Kevin?" I
looked at him willing him to back further away. "I'm so alone, I live in a
world of secrets and lies. I'm tired of it but I can't just quit. I wish I
was never born that I had never existed." The wish rocked my body and
soul. It was what had brought me here this night. "Then so be it you were
never born." He looked at me like I was nuts, I really hated that
look. "Then why am I still here?" I smiled and took his hand firmly. "I
want you to see what you have given up. I want you to see what you have
left behind. When I'm done I want to show you what never will be." I pulled
him into the sky allowing him to fly.

  I slowly dropped to the ground in front of Nick's house in Florida. "How
did we get here? We were just in Kentucky." I pointed to the window pushing
him toward it. "I've never seen this place." Once he looked inside I could
see his heart brake. "Why is Nick all alone in there? What happened to him
he look's so depressed?" I looked to the sky to make sure it was
ok. "Without you the Backstreet Boys never came to be. Nick never left
Florida or lived the life that would have saved him. When he came out of
the closet his family disowned him. They never had the chance to see how
happy he could have been. They never saw him with Brian so they didn't
understand. Since he was seventeen he has lived on his own. He hasn't seen
his family in years, they miss him but he doesn't know that. He will kill
himself in three days thinking he never mattered." Kevin tried to knock on
the window but nothing happened. "He can't hear or see you Kevin. You are
just lost soul, a ghost that never existed." I pulled him away from the
window slowly.

  "I have so much more to show you Kevin" I pulled him back into the
sky. He didn't try to fight me at all which worried me. I slowly came to
the ground near a bridge. I walked under the bridge pulling Kevin with
me. "Why are we here?" I pointed to the corner near the top of the
bridge. He walked up to the corner and almost fell when he saw Howie laying
on the ground. "No, Howie had a future, he wouldn't end up like this." I
shook my head and moved to stand beside him. "Your right he did have a
future, that was before you made your wish. He did have a life before the
drugs pulled him here. You see he did make it on his own. But without the
band he didn't have anything to keep his feet on the ground. So he lost
himself in this world a few years ago, he still has time to live. But
everything ends soon when drugs are involved." Kevin moved away almost
crying he looked back at me. "How could you do this to them, I just made a
simple wish. I thought that everyone would be ok." I nodded and took his
hand in mine.

  I pulled him away from the bridge to a concert. AJ was on stage dancing
his heart out. "I knew AJ would make it. But why isn't he singing?" I moved
him closer to the stage. "Simple Kevin he isn't in the band he's a
dancer. He will make it into music in about three years. But that won't
last long he'll start to feel alone. He'll make a good amount of money and
then settle down. He'll live the rest of his life alone in a big
house. Without the band he never had a chance to make friends that really
understood him. He gave up on people a long time ago." I pulled him into
the air to watch the show. Nsync walked onto the stage and started to
sing. "Oh hell no AJ wouldn't work for them he calls them Nsuck." I just
laughed at him as he watched. "Thing's change Kevin people change, for your
peace of mind. He does hate them, they treat him like shit." He looked at
me like I shouldn't have said something. "Your an angel and you curse?" I
put my hand over my mouth and looked up. "I'm new at this, this is the
first time I've had a chance to help anyone." He nodded and looked back to
the stage and shook his head.

  I took his hand in mine again and whisked him away. I landed on the
ground in the grave yard. He started shaking his head no as we got
closer. I could see the tears hanging in his eyes. "You see Kevin you've
done a lot of good with your life. Without you your cousin wouldn't have
had the money for surgery. He died a few years ago when his heart gave out
on him. That wasn't the only reason he died, he also died of a lonely
heart. He knew who he was but couldn't bring himself to live that life. He
had ton's of girlfriends but none that touched his heart. You see you
brought Nick and Brian together, without you they never learned about
love. They were never there to save each other from life. They were meant
to be Kevin, they were soul mates. Now let me show what life will be like
if you just killed yourself." Kevin didn't move from the grave, he was
fighting me. I now had hope that he would change his mind.

*********Kevin

  I didn't mean for this to happen, I would never hurt the guys like
this. I know that it would hurt them when they found my body. I just didn't
think a little wish could do so much. I didn't want to leave Brian's grave
he didn't deserve this. Brian had so much to live for. He really could have
changed the world if he had lived. I wanted to take it all back now, but I
didn't know if I could. I felt a hand on my shoulder, I looked up to see
this guy. "What's your name?" He looked like it was the weirdest question
he had ever been asked. "My name was Alex, before I died that is." I wanted
to ask more but I didn't know why. "So your going to show me what I gave
up." He nodded and took my hand in his. It felt so right it was like my
loneliness faded away. I guessed that was what happened to anyone that took
an angels hand. Then I was in the sky again and the world around me
changed. The sun was rising and a lot of police were at a bridge. It was
the bridge that I was going to jump off. I watched as my body was pulled
from the river. Alex's hand tightened around mine almost like it hurt
him. I looked at his face, tears were falling from his eyes.

  Then it was like a flash of light surrounded us. I was now in a hospital
looking at my body. Brian was standing by my body tears flowing like a
water fall. Nick was close by in the same state. All of the guys were AJ
was trying to pull Brian away from my body. I closed my eyes and tried to
turn away. When I opened my eyes I was no longer in the hospital. I was now
in a large room and I could see my casket. Brian was on palladium above my
casket. I decided to listen to what was being said. "Kevin was the
strongest of us all. He made sure we were always taken care of. He was our
life line and our friend. I know that we failed him in someway. We didn't
see the pain that he was in, we just didn't look. For that I am so sorry
that I let you down." Brian was looking upward while he talked. I could see
the tears falling from his eyes. I could see his body shaking with pain. "I
am so sorry that I never told you how important you were to us. I'm sorry
we never gave you a brake. If I could go back in time I would, if I could
trade places with you I would." Brian could talk anymore he was on the
ground crying. I wanted to help him but I couldn't touch him.

  I looked at Alex who was crying as well. He waved his hand and everything
changed. I now looked at my grave stone. Nick was sitting beside the gave
crying. "It's been three years since you died Kevin. Nick comes out here
everyday and sits beside you. He tells you everything that's happened in
his life. Everyday Brian walks out here and pull's Nick away. The band has
broken up, they didn't see a reason in going on." I noticed that it was
raining but Nick remained. I wanted to put something over him to keep him
dry. "Where are the other guys Alex?" He looked at me then to the sky. I
noticed that he did that a lot. "AJ is in Florida and Howie is in New
York. Once a year all of the guys get together and come and visit
you. After that everyone goes their separate ways, they don't talk during
the year. Only once a year, AJ is getting married in three months but he
hasn't told the others. Howie is going threw a major depression, his wife
left him. Still he doesn't tell the others. He doesn't want to burden them
with his problems." I looked away standing up.

*********Alex

  I was now going to show Kevin why I was here. Like I had said his wish
made me what I am. My wish brought me to him this night. I took his hand
and moved threw time and space. I stood over my body which was in a
hospice. He looked at my body and then at me. "You said that you were
dead?" I nodded and took a seat beside my body. "I am now this was three
week's after you died." He looked confused very confused. "That doesn't
make sense Alex, how could you be here while your still alive?" I looked at
him and smiled warmly. "You see Kevin I have, had cancer that was killing
me. This is a hospice that I was dying in. I made two wish's before I
slipped into my coma. I wished to know what love was like, and to
live. I've been alone my whole life, I've searched for my soulmate for a
long time. When I died I found him already there waiting for me. It seems
that he was also my match, my bone marrow match. But he killed himself
before we ever met." I looked away I wanted to hide my tears.

  I looked back at him slowly, he had a shocked look on his face. "I was
given a chance to save you, I took it. If you decide to live then you won't
even remember this part. You'll remember everything I've showed up until
now. I want you to live Kevin so much, I love you I always have. Even if I
die it would still be nice to know that you didn't. I could then watch over
you from heaven. Your heart will remember this because it will fill that
emptiness that haunts you. I got my first wish I got to know what love felt
like. I got a chance to hold your hand and be with you. I know it wasn't
much time but I got to know you. I just hope that we meet again
someday. You've already made your choice Kevin I could see that in your
heart. I will miss you but I am happy that you decided to live. Could I
have one thing before you go?" He looked at me knowing what I was asking
him. He moved to my side and put his lips on mine. Tears fell from my eyes
as I faded away. Soon Kevin was back on the bridge looking down. He backed
away and got back in his car and drove away.

********Kevin

  I walked back up to Brian's door and knocked softly. He opened the door
and gave me a strange look. "Come on in Kev, what's wrong?" I pulled him
into the tightest hug I could. "What's wrong is everything all right?"
Brian almost asked in a panic. "Everything's fine I just learned how much I
need you guys." I pulled away wiping the tears from my eyes. I walked into
the house and repeated my actions to everyone there. I looked up to the sky
and thanked God for sending me an angel. I knew that he had pushed the
emptiness out of my heart. I didn't know how he had done it but I knew that
it was gone. I didn't feel alone anymore, it almost felt like someone was
watching over me still. It felt different like it wasn't Alex that was
there. I remembered that he was going to take me to another place. Then I
was back on the bridge looking at the water. Something inside my heart told
me to look for him. I would start looking for him soon but would it be soon
enough.

  I walked into the hospital with the guys right beside me. It was Nick's
idea to visit the sick kid's on Christmas. We all went out and bought as
much stuff as we could for them. A nurse walked up to me and smiled
sweetly. "Sir I was wondering if you wouldn't mind visiting the hospice
area. There are a lot of people that would like to meet you." I nodded and
followed the nurse to another floor. I told the guys that I would be back
soon. I walked on the floor and it was like my heart reached out. I wasn't
following the nurse any longer. I walked down the hallway quickly looking
at the names on the doors. I stopped when I found the one I was looking
for. "Sir your in the wrong area that's the adult hallway." I just entered
the room and looked at the body laying on the bed. He was fast asleep be he
was still beautiful. The nurse came up behind me and laid her hand on my
shoulder. "He just fell asleep such a sad story, really it is. They
couldn't find a match from him in time. Well, theirs still time but not
much, poor boy. He's lived alone his whole life, his parents died when he
was three. I've talked with him so many days when he was awake. The saddest
thing he ever asked me was what it was like to fall in love. Everyone on
the staff loves him he always so happy. Then last night he woke up crying,
this morning he told me that he found love." I looked at him knowing that I
could help in some way.

  I walked over to the bed and sat down beside him. The nurse was gone like
she had never been there. I didn't pay an attention to that small fact. I
held his hand in mine and kissed it softly. I pulled his hat off of his
head, I was amazed that he still had hair. It was short but he still had
it. I brushed the hair out of his eyes and kissed his lips. His eyes opened
slowly and he looked at me. "You found me, I prayed that you would." It was
almost a whisper. I just nodded and pressed the button for the nurse. "I'm
going to make you all better now, I promise." He smiled at me and nodded
slowly. A different nurse walked into the room. "Sir what are you doing in
here?" I looked up at the lady and smiled. "A nurse brought me up to visit
some of the people to lift their sprits." She looked at me and shook her
head. "Did she have blond hair and green eyes?" I nodded and she almost
passed out. "That's not the reason I'm here, the reason I'm here is this
I'm his bone marrow match." She looked up and nodded taking my word for
it. "I believe you, the nurse you were talking about. Wasn't a nurse at all
she haunts this hospice. Every so often she brings someone here. She leads
them to the person they could help. it's happened a few times. They call
her the angel of life." I now felt like I was going to pass out.

  Four week's had passed since I had given Alex my bone marrow. He was
doing a lot better all around. The doctors said that it was amazing how
quickly he was recovering. I didn't think it was amazing I knew it was. I
had been spending a lot of time with him. He said that I came to him in a
dream and kissed him. I didn't remember that part at all but something told
me it was true. I planed on spending the rest of my life with him. I knew
that I couldn't be all that open about it. But I could love him to the end
of time. He didn't care if the world knew that he loved me. He only cared
if I knew that he loved me. I'm holding him in my arms right now. He's fast
asleep but I can't fall asleep yet, I'm so scared that'll wake up and it'll
all be a dream. I know that won't happen but still the fear was there. I
held him until I fell into a deep sleep. In my dreams I was with him in a
beautiful house. Every night we would sit outside and look to the heavens
and watch the stars. I was so happy that I never wanted to wake up. When I
did it was the most amazing morning. I looked down and saw that he was
still in my arms. I could feel him breathing lightly. The sun was shining
on him making him look like the angel he was. I kissed his forehead and
fell back to sleep.

                                        The End

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 I hope you like my story drop me a line and tell me what you think.
Angel36745@aol.com