Date: Thu, 30 Oct 2003 15:16:15 -0800 (PST)
From: Michael Bryan <mzbryan2003@yahoo.com>
Subject: JC and the Actor (Chapter 20)

JC and the Actor, Chapter 20, Copyright 2003

----------

The following story is entirely a work of fiction.  It is not meant to
imply anything about the sexuality or the personal lives of the members of
NSYNC, or any other celebrities mentioned.  If you are underage, or if it
is illegal to read sexually explicit gay material where you live, don't
read this.

Wow!  Twenty chapters.  I can't say that I expected it to last this long,
though I am very happy that it has.  Hopefully, all of you are too.  Thanks
again to all of you who have written...mzbryan2003@yahoo.com

----------

Chapter 20

	I managed to make my way to the bed, and promptly passed out.  My
dreams were a mixture of erotica and horror.  Images of JC and Bobby were
twisted together, and I had trouble distinguishing between the two.  I was
remembering the feel of Bobby's lips on my own, savoring it, knowing that I
shouldn't.  At the same time I was longing to feel JC's embrace, longing to
stare into his impossibly beautiful eyes.  But I could also see Bobby's
eyes, young and innocent, with a fire inside them that only people of his
age possessed.

	Waking up sober, I could feel the full effect of last night's
activities.  My face felt like it was swollen to two times its size.  There
was a banging in my head, but I soon realized that it was actually someone
wrapping on the door.  I slowly made my way toward it, stopping at the
mirror on the wall to survey the damage.

	"Fuck," I said out loud.  My left eye was a deep purple from the
bottom of my eyebrow to the top of my cheekbone.  I could keep the eye
open, but not very much.  I pulled open the door and was confronted by the
angry face of Larry Ridgecliff.

	"Nice job," he said sarcastically.  "I really don't like it when my
actors cost me money."

	"Larry," I started.  "I'm sorry, but I didn't exactly plan this."

	"Do you know that we now have to make an extra scene explaining why
you have a black eye?" he interrupted.  "That mess on your face is too
fucking big to cover with makeup."

	"Larry, what do you want from me?  I got punched in the face.
Sorry."  I wasn't in the mood to be yelled at, despite knowing that my
injury would cause production delays.  Under my contract I was obligated
not to make and changes in my appearance, but I felt that a bar fight was
not something the contract meant to include.  Larry clenched his jaw and
turned to leave.  As he walked away he yelled out that I better be ready to
leave in twenty minutes.

----------

	Back on location, we improvised a scene where I encounter one of
the characters that has been hunting me, and we get into a fight.  I was
only filmed from my right side, which actually helped to speed up the
filming.  It was kind of fun to be in a fight that I knew I was going to
win.

	Throughout filming I would notice Bobby stealing glances in my
direction as he scurried about, bringing things to different members of the
crew.  I felt butterflies in my stomach when I saw him, but the feeling was
quickly replaced with a sick feeling as I pondered whether or not I was a
terrible person.  How could I have a crush on someone when I had JC as my
boyfriend?  Most women and gay men would donate their bodies to science for
the chance to be intimate with him on a regular basis.  I told myself that
I was having these feelings because I really missed him, that I was
transferring my feelings for JC onto Bobby simply because Bobby was here.
But I knew deep inside that there was something particular to Bobby that I
was attracted to.  Bobby with his fair skin, slightly reddened under the
hot African sun.  Bobby with his floppy blond hair and boyish charm.  Bobby
with one of the roundest asses I had ever seen.  I picked up a water bottle
from the lunch table and squeezed the water into my face.

	"Hot?" Tim asked me.

	"Yes." I said guiltily.

	"Are you ok?" Tim asked with concern.  "You kind of look like
you've been punched in the face."

	I smiled and gave a light laugh.  "Yeah, I'm fine.  My head just
hurts."

	"You should get out of the sun for a while," he suggested.  "It's
gonna be a while before the next shot is set up."  I agreed and made my way
toward the makeshift tent that was set up for the cast and crew for the
exact purpose of providing shelter from the sun.

The tent was warm, but battery operated fans circulated the air, making it
pleasant enough to stay in for a while.  I sat down in front of a mirror
and reapplied ointment and bandages to my cheek.  I kept the cut covered as
much as possible during the day, except when we were actually filming,
fearful that the sun would cause it to scar.

	I didn't like what I saw in the mirror, aside from the cut and the
black eye.  I looked distant and stressed.  It probably looked good for my
character, but I knew that I couldn't turn it off and on.  I wondered what
JC was up to.  He always sounded so cheerful on the phone and in his
emails.  Part of me wished that he, too, was being pursued by someone.  I'm
sure he had ample opportunities on the road.  He could be getting blown all
over Europe and I would never know.  But the same part of me that several
months ago instinctively knew what kind of a person JC was, knew that being
unfaithful was not an option for him.  I trusted him, and up until last
night, I knew he could trust me.

	I must have dozed off in the chaise lounge I had dropped into,
because I nearly jumped out of my chair when I felt someone poking at my
shoulder.  I opened my eyes to see Bobby standing over me, handing me a few
sheets of paper.

	"Hey," I said, taking the papers from him.  "You scared the hell
out of me."

	"Sorry," he grinned.  "They, uh, rewrote a couple of scenes for the
next few days.  They wanted me to give you your new lines."

	"Thanks," I said, trying to smile.  My heart had started racing
again at the sight of him.  Why did he have to look so cute all battered,
sweaty and tired?

	"How do you feel?" he asked, testing the waters.

	"My head is killing me," I said, rubbing my temples, telling myself
to relax.

	"Yeah," he laughed.  "Mine too."  He reached his hand behind his
neck and rubbed it.  His muscles weren't nearly as defined as JC's, but
their mere existence was driving me crazy.  "We had quite a busy evening,"
he said.

	"You could say that," I laughed as well.  We weren't talking about
what we should be talking about, and for the moment, I was grateful.  Bobby
tried to make conversation by asking me about Larry's reaction to my face.
He laughed when I told him, and I was soon laughing as well when Bobby
began to mimic Larry's reaction.  Our conversation fell upon more casual
topics and I started to feel like our relationship was slowly returning to
normal.  I realized that being around Bobby made me feel very young, but it
wasn't because he was immature.  In many ways he was just the opposite.  It
was his carefree nature that was intoxicating, and I understood my
temptation to drown myself in it.

	"Look," Bobby began after a few moments of silence.  "I just wanted
to say that I..."  He was interrupted by another assistant who came into
the tent to tell me that I was immediately needed outside for a scene.

	"We can talk later," I said to Bobby, standing up and giving him a
light squeeze on the shoulder.  I'm not quite sure why I did that.  Part of
me wondered if I wanted to keep him interested.  Part of me felt like I was
testing myself, seeing how strong my willpower would be in the face of
temptation.

	"Later, then," Bobby said as I headed back out into the sun.

----------

	That night, back in my hotel room, I opened the new script and
looked at the lines in front of me.  Almost immediately I could tell that
my concentration was shot.  There was such a mixture of emotions running
through my body, I could no longer isolate the guilt from the lust, the
loneliness from the love.  I wished that filming would wrap so that I could
rush to meet JC on tour.  If I could escape the temptation, I wouldn't have
to worry about why I felt this way or think about how Bobby felt about me.
I was constantly reminding myself how I felt when I learned that Mark had
cheated on me.  I knew I could never do that to somebody.  But I also had
never wanted somebody else when I was in a relationship.  Why now?  Why
when I have the perfect man, the perfect life?  Was it all too perfect?

	For a moment I actually considered the idea that Bobby might be the
right man for me, but it seemed absurd.  I hardly knew him, and he was more
of a boy than a man.  Why would he want an older guy like me?  Or did he
just want to sleep with me?  I knew he didn't.  I knew that there was more
to it than that.  Bobby did have feelings for me, but all I had was a
simple crush.  Just a crush.  At least that was what I knew that I had to
keep telling myself if I was going to make it through the next few weeks.

	Realizing that I wasn't going to be able to focus on my script, I
decided that I should send off an email to JC.  I thought that maybe I
would feel more connected to him if I wrote more often.

	"Dear Josh," I began typing.  "Sorry I couldn't get back to you
sooner.  Things have been really busy here.  Anyway, I just showered and am
about ready to turn in for the night, thinking of you, wishing you were
here with me.  Tonight is my last night here before going deeper into the
jungle.  Though everyone knows I'm not really psyched about leaving, they
don't know that it actually kind of scares me.  I'm not sure what to expect
and you have probably guessed by now that I don't like things to be
unpredictable.  I found out that we are going to have some type of
satellite service with us, so you can still email me while I'm gone.  Right
now they are thinking we may be finished in just two weeks, but I
personally doubt that.  Oops, hold on a sec, someone's at the door."

	I minimized the window on my laptop and put it down on the bed.
Since I was in for the night, I was only wearing a pair of boxer-briefs and
a tank top.  I opened the door slightly and looked out.

	"Oh, hey Bobby," I said, suddenly feeling very self-conscious.
Here we were again.

	"Hi," he said quietly.  He was barefooted, wearing shorts and a
t-shirt that offered a hint of the small but firm pectoral muscles beneath
it.  He was having a hard time keeping his eyes from moving down my body,
and he had the same intense expression that he had that night on the porch.
I instantly could feel my body stirring with excitement.  "Can I come in?"
he asked with what at that moment sounded like the sexiest and most
inviting voice I had ever heard.

	I opened the door wider, but suddenly froze and stopped it.  "I
don't think that's a good idea," I said in practical disbelief of my own
words.  Why was I letting him know that I had such an issue with him?  The
air-conditioning was pumping, but it felt like the room was getting very
warm.

	"Why not?" he asked, looking saddened by my answer.

	"Because I don't know if I will be able to tell you to leave
later."  His eyes brightened when I said this, but he struggled to maintain
his composure. I wasn't handling this situation well at all.  I knew this
kid wanted me, and I wasn't offering him a direct rejection.  Rather, I was
enticing him, letting him know that I was tempted.

	"Look," he began.  "Earlier, I just wanted to say that I don't
really want to lose the only friend I have in this place over something as
silly as a kiss."  He was a bigger liar than I was.

	"We're still friends, Bobby.  We just have to be careful not to
ruin it."  He stared up at me with his crystal blue eyes and it felt like
my heart was melting.  I noticed the light bruises under his eyes and
without thinking, my hand moved to his face.  I brushed my thumb lightly
over his bruised cheek, noting how much better they both had gotten since
the fight.  "It looks a lot better," I said, hardly able to form the words.

	It felt like time had stopped.  My hand rested on his face longer
than it should have, caressing his cheek.  Slowly, Bobby reached his hand
up and placed it over my own, his fingers intertwining with mine.  Gently,
he pulled my palm down toward his mouth and kissed it, causing the hairs on
my arm to stand up.  I felt like I was on fire.  His lips were round and
full and felt amazing against my hand.  "Do it!" a voice yelled in my head.
"He's here now!"

	"Bobby," I said firmly, suddenly coming to my senses and pulling my
hand away.  "I can't, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have, I don't know what I'm
doing."

	"It's ok," he said, stepping back, looking rejected but trying not
to.  He stood there for a moment, then started to walk away.  I called out
his name, causing him to turn back and look at me.  I realized that I
didn't know what I wanted to say.  I just knew that I didn't want him to
leave.  I stood there in the doorway and he stood there in the hall.  We
were staring at each other, but saying nothing.  My chest was heaving, and
I felt like I had just finished a three-mile run.  Bobby looked like he was
thinking a million thoughts at once and then, like lightning, he came
rushing toward me.  There was a fire in his eyes that almost scared me.  He
reached up and grabbed the back of my head and pulled me down toward him
until our lips met.  He was kissing me hard, and making no apologies for
it.  My hands slid down his back, resting on his lower back before slipping
down to cup the cheeks of his ass.  Through the thin fabric of his shorts
they felt hard and round.  The boy definitely had meat on him that JC
didn't, and probably never would.  Bobby pressed himself against me, and I
could feel him hardening.

	"This is so wrong," I kept thinking to myself as I kissed him
harder and harder.  I had to stop this.  I pushed his perfect lips apart
and slipped my tongue inside his mouth.  "This has gone far enough," I told
myself.  "Stop it!  Stop it!" before you let yourself ruin everything.

	Before I even had the chance to pull him off of me, he released his
grip and backed away all by himself.  "I know what I want," he said, his
breath heavy and his face flushed in a way that only someone with his type
of skin could be.  "You should think about what you want."  He darted back
down the hall, and I slowly closed the door to my room, completely confused
about what had just happened.

	My cock was still hard in my shorts as I crawled up onto my bed,
trying to make sense of what had just happened.  Had it come to this?  Did
I truly not know what I wanted anymore?  I reopened the email I was writing
to JC.  I stared at the words and thought that they looked hollow and
without feeling.  I wasn't telling JC what I was up to and I wasn't sharing
with him the feelings I was having.

	In a dramatic display, I deleted the letter and closed the
computer.  I placed it on the nightstand and slipped under the covers,
burying my face into the pillow.  I screamed as quietly as possible into
it, and concentrated on not rubbing my crotch into the mattress.  My cock
was painfully hard, but it wasn't because of JC.  I was thinking of Bobby,
savoring the feeling of his body against mine.  I started to imagine
Bobby's soft back pressed up against my chest.  I wondered what he would
sound like as my cock entered his tight opening.  Would he want it slow or
fast?  I imagined my hands gripping his thighs, and I wondered if they
would feel smooth to the touch, or be dusted with tiny blond hairs.  My
cock leaking beneath me.  I could have cum at any moment, but I dared not
touch it.  To do so would be like cheating.  I closed my eyes tightly and
prayed for sleep to come.

----------

	Four days had passed.  The cast and crew were all living in tents
in the jungle, and although we all had our own sleeping tents, life was
becoming very communal.

	I woke up early in the morning in order to get to the showers
before anyone else.  The safari coordinators had rigged up a row of outdoor
shower stalls.  It was already hot as hell, and the cold water was quite
invigorating.  I scrubbed my hair, thinking about the fact that JC hadn't
emailed me in the past few days.  I hoped that he didn't have a sixth
sense, alerting him to the fact that something was going on.  Aside from
that worry, I was actually kind of glad that he hadn't written, since I now
felt guilty every time I wrote to him.  I didn't know what was going on
with me.  In all of this time, my feelings for JC hadn't faded at all.  I
didn't want him or love him any less, and I wasn't even remotely less
attracted to him.  It was more like my feelings for him had become
encapsulated, completely apart from the feelings I was having for Bobby.

	I had just started soaping up my chest when I noticed Bobby emerge
from his tent.  He was wearing a t-shirt and boxers and was bopping around
to whatever tune was coming out of the headphones he was wearing.  Bobby
would do this from time to time, and I often thought how funny it was that
he would dance around the set without caring who saw him.

	We hadn't spoken that much since our last night at the lodge.  It
was mostly the scheduling of the scenes that kept us apart from each other,
but I took it as a good omen.  This morning however, Bobby came walking
over to me, smiling cheerfully.  He came straight up to the door of my
stall and put his hands up on it.  My shoulders and head were the only
things exposed above it.

	"Getting all nice and clean?" he joked, taking off his headphones.

	"Yeah," I said, feeling that this scene was probably totally
inappropriate.  Here I was, totally naked, with only a thin sheet of metal
separating me from Bobby.  Bobby made a joking movement like he was going
to peek over the partition, but I gave him a look that made him stay where
he was.  "What are you listening to?" I asked, trying to keep things
casual.

	"Oh, you'll probably think it's silly, but it's JC Chasez' solo
album."

	I couldn't help but smile.  "Oh," I said.

	"Have you heard it?" he asked.

	"Um, yeah."

	"This type of music gets such a bad rep," he continued.  "But I
think he's actually really talented.  Not to mention fucking hot."

	I bit my lower lip.  This kid had no idea who his competition was.
If he did, he would probably want my boyfriend more than me.

	"So do you think we will really be finished by the end of next
week?" I asked, deciding that a change of topic was in order.

	"It's possible," Bobby said, placing his Walkman down on the ground
and pulling his shirt off.  "I think Larry is getting tired of hunting."
Bobby had stepped back just far enough from me so that I could see his
entire torso.  Just as I had suspected, he was completely smooth, with
perfect-sized, cream-colored nipples.  There was just a suggestion of
definition between and under his pecs, and his stomach was flat as a board.
I was happy the door to my stall blocked my rapidly growing cock.

	"What are you doing?" I asked in shock, startled as I saw his hands
move to push down his boxers.

	"Uh, taking a shower," he replied, raising his eyebrows to suggest
I had asked a silly question.  I couldn't see him from the waist down, and
he was soon in the stall next to me, fumbling with the rather complicated
faucet they had rigged up.  "Shit!" he yelled as the water came out.  "How
do you just stand there under this freezing water?"  I could only see him
from the shoulders up, but it looked like he was running around the small
space trying to get used to the cold.  I started to laugh at the sight of
him, and told him that it just didn't bother me.  "Well, it's causing some
major shrinkage over here," he laughed.

	Unfortunately, nothing was shrinking in my stall, so I continued to
shower alongside him, and we talked about today's shoot and how difficult
it was going to be.

	"Yeah, this whole throwing me off a mountain thing sounds really
unappealing," I laughed.

	"You'll be in a harness," he added.  "You've been in a harness
before haven't you?"  He gave me a wink through the mop of wet blond hair
hanging over his eyes.

	"You like causing trouble," I said.  "Don't you?"

	"I know a good thing when I see it," he answered.  He was always so
confident, and it was such a turn on.

	"Don't you think I'm too old for you?" I asked, trying to be as
casual about our relationship as he was.

	"There's only one good thing about guys my age," he said.

	"Yeah, but isn't that what you should be after right now?"

	"Something tells me you wouldn't disappoint me in any area."

	"Well," I laughed.  "That's true."  He smiled at me and walked over
to the wall separating us.  Without any warning, he looked down to see my
full erection.

	"Jesus," I laughed nervously, covering my crotch with my hands.
"That wasn't fair."

	"What? You want to see mine?"  His eyes continued to stare at my
hand-covered crotch.

	"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may
incriminate me."

	"Hmm," he said, slowly looking up at me.

	"What?" I asked.

	"Maybe you are too old for me.  Mine still sticks straight up when
it's hard."  My face turned completely red as he gave me a quick wink and
stepped back to turn off his shower.  "Oops," he said, very sarcastically.
"I forgot a towel."  He shifted his lips from side to side.  "Ah, to hell
with it," he said opening up his stall and marching back toward his tent
completely bare-assed.  His ass cheeks were high, the classic bubble butt.
I watched them bounce toward his tent, thinking about how weak the flesh
was.  A few people had emerged from their tents, and I saw him casually
wave to them before slipping into his own tent.  Yeah, I liked this kid.

----------

	"I think I'm going to vomit."

	"Well," Tim said.  "Do what you got to do."

	I leaned over the ground and emptied whatever was left of my lunch.
Apparently, bungee-jumping repeatedly off of a small cliff was not
agreeable to my equilibrium.

	"That a boy," Tim laughed, patting me on the back.  "You'll feel
better soon.  Just in time for the roast tonight."  The image of a large
animal roasting over a pit aggravated my gag reflexes and I vomited again.

	"Whoa," Tim laughed some more.  I was glad someone was enjoying
this experience.  "Looks like that's yesterday's lunch."

	"I think I'm ready to reconsider the stuntman idea."  Tim helped me
up and I told him that I was feeling better.  Bobby came over with a water
bottle and handed it to me.

	"You could probably use this," he said, his bright eyes shining.

	"Thanks," I said, taking the bottle from him and smiling at him.
He walked back to the crew and I told Tim that I was going to go catch the
first jeep back to the tents.

	"Nate," he called to me.  I turned around to see a look of concern
on his face.

	"Yeah?"

	"This is none of my business, but you have been seeing someone
pretty seriously for a long time now, right?"

	"Yeah, about six months."

	"Don't blow it all on a piece of ass."

	I was embarrassed that I had let my emotions become so obvious.  I
had a lot of respect for Tim and the feelings he had toward his family.  It
made me feel bad to think that he didn't approve of my behavior.

	"I won't," I said.  He smiled and I headed back to the jeep.

	That night, the crew was having a large roast.  Some of the guys
had caught some large beast (I didn't even pay attention to the name of
it), and were going to cook it with the help of some local people that were
travelling with us.  The whole thing sounded very manly in the worst sense
of the word, and I wanted no part of it.

	My stomach had settled, and I stepped out of my tent, contentedly
nibbling on some crackers.  Looking out on the savanna, I took a moment to
realize the beauty of the place I was in.  Never again would I have an
experience like this, and I felt bad not having someone to share it with.
Of course there was someone that I could be sharing it with, but for the
moment, I didn't want to think about that.

	The sun was just starting to set, and I could hear the commotion
building from the center of our camp.  I walked toward the large crowd
surrounding the pit with an enormous fire blazing out if it.  Above it hung
some giant carcass that caused my stomach to jump a little.  Everyone was
motioning for me to come over, but I smiled and told them that I just
couldn't.  I went over and took a bottle of beer from a cooler, and headed
away from the others.  I walked into the jungle, confident that despite my
short time here, I would be able to find my way back.  I put aside my fears
of being eaten by a lion, and concentrated on creating a sense of peace in
myself.  The weather was still hot, but had lost its oppressive quality.
Birds and insects were chirping wildly, and I started to laugh out loud as
I made my way further in, under a canopy of trees.  This was the stuff
movies were made of.

	"Whose there?" someone yelled.  I gasped out loud, being so
startled by another human voice.

	"Nathan Murray," I said, not sure why I had used my full name.  The
voice began to laugh and Bobby stepped out from behind a few trees.

	"Jesus Christ, you keep scaring the hell out of me!" I yelled,
though I was also sighing with relief that it was someone I knew.

	"You scared the shit out of me," he countered.  "In case you didn't
notice, I was here first."

	"I guess you're right," I said.  "Funny that we would choose the
same escape route from the party though."

	"Maybe it's fate," he said, sipping from the bottle of beer he had
brought with him.

	"Maybe our gaydar also works as a homing device," I suggested.
Bobby went and sat up on a large rock nearby, and soon after I joined him
there.

	"Do you think we will ever see something as beautiful as this?" he
asked, looking all around him.  I told him that I didn't think so.  We sat
there quietly, drinking beer and watching the sun go down.

	"I think that I'm going to move to New York after this," he said
after a while.  "LA just seems to artificial now."

	"Well, living in New York won't be like living in Kenya."

	"Yeah," he laughed.  "I know.  It's just that experiences like this
make you want to change your life."

	"I know," I said.  I understood what he meant, though I wasn't sure
what changes I wanted to make for myself.

	"Do you?" he asked.

	"Bobby, I am happy with my life.  I'm happy with who I am with."

	"Bullshit," he said.  "You keep acting like this is one sided.
You're attracted to me."  He was saying this all vary calmly and maturely.

	"I am attracted to you Bobby, I think that's obvious.  But that
doesn't mean my feelings are any less for Josh."  I had said his name, and
I could tell it upset Bobby to realize that there truly was another guy out
there.

	"Yeah, well, I don't think I would be capable of being attracted to
anyone else if I was with you," he said.  "Maybe your relationship isn't as
strong as you want to think it is."

	"Bobby," I said, standing up.  "Don't start telling me about my
relationship.  You're too young to even understand the kind of love I have
for Josh."

	"What is with this age bullshit?" he said, standing up as well.
"I'm not twelve, and you're not exactly fifty, so stop using that as an
excuse to keep us apart."

	"I should go," I said, walking away.

	"Life is for living," he called out to me.  I stopped in front of a
large tree and turned to face him.  "You're afraid to admit that you aren't
sure if you are with the person you should be.  You're afraid to give me a
chance."  I couldn't believe it.  He was right.  I didn't know much of
anything anymore.

	Bobby walked over to me.  His eyes were so large and even in the
dusk they were full of expression.  "Take a chance, Nate," he said, his
voice very breathy.  "I'm not saying that I'm the one.  But maybe he isn't
either.  If he was, this never would have started."  I wanted to tell him
that he was wrong, that he didn't really know me at all.  He looked like he
was about to begin another monologue, but rather than tell him to shut up,
I leaned down and kissed him.

	"Oh Nate," he sighed as my arms wrapped around him.  Our bottles
fell to the ground as our hands began to grab at each other's backs.  His
lips were so warm to the touch, and he began to use his tongue in response
to the way I was kissing him.  I had given up on thinking.  At that moment,
he was all I wanted and I felt like I was done trying to fight it.

	His hips pressed up against mine and I could feel his hard cock
against my own.  I reached down with my hand and rubbed his cock through
the thin fabric of his khakis.  I couldn't believe I was finally feeling
it.  Bobby pushed me back against the large tree trunk and pushed his own
hand into my pants, grabbing my cock through the fabric of my underwear.

	"Bobby," I moaned as he rubbed his hand up and down my shaft.  I
could tell I was already leaking through my boxer-briefs.  It had been so
long since someone had touched me down there.  I slipped my hands into his
pants and grabbed his ass cheeks, amazed with how they felt.

	"You smell so good," he said, smelling my neck and licking it down
toward the hollow of my throat.  He pulled back for a second only to pull
my t-shirt over my head.  I could see his eyes take in every part of my
chest before he leaned down and attacked it with his mouth.  His tongue
flew across my chest, biting at my nipples, breathing in my manly scent.
He wanted every part of me and I was offering it up on a silver platter.
With one hand he pulled at the hairs on my chest while with the other he
started undoing the button to my pants.  I couldn't believe how far this
was going, but I felt powerless to stop it.

	Kneeling in front of me, he pushed my pants down.  The front of my
boxer-briefs was completely wet, and he quickly pulled them down to my
ankles as well.  His eyes lit up when he had the full realization of what
was in front of him, and he suddenly looked like he hadn't eaten in a week.
He devoured my cock, easily taking it down to its base.

	"Oh God," I moaned.  It had almost become an unfamiliar sensation.
He worked my cock with his mouth like a seasoned professional.  His hands
roamed back and forth from my chest to my ass as I reached my arms above my
head and grasped the tree trunk behind me.  Since I had been feeling like I
was on the brink of cumming for the past week, I knew that I wasn't going
to be able to last long at all.  I wanted him too much, and had gone
without for too long.

	I lowered my hips a little and started rocking them up and down,
slowly fucking his face.  He was moaning and slurping all over my cock, and
I watched his hands undo his own pants and withdraw his penis.  It
certainly wasn't as large as JC's, but it was perhaps one of the prettiest
ones I had ever seen.  Light blond pubes poked out of his shorts as he
pulled on his cock and played with my balls.

	Replacing his mouth with his hand for a moment, he looked up at me
and I looked down at his beautiful face.  "Tell me you're mine," he panted,
taking my dick back in his mouth between sentences.  "Even if it's just for
tonight, tell me you're mine."

	"I'm yours," I said, leaning my head back against the tree and
closing my eyes, giving myself up the sensations I was feeling.  The need
in me was rising rapidly.  "Fuck," I whimpered, my eyes still closed.  "I'm
close, I'm close."  Bobby increased the speed of his mouth on my cock and
before long, I couldn't hold back anymore.  Giving a low and loud guttural
groan, I started to shoot into his mouth, and I could tell he had no
intention of stopping.  I could feel the cum rip through my cock, the
pleasure so intense that it was almost painful.  Bobby was making all kinds
of sounds that only made me cum harder and harder.  I just kept pumping
into him, never before had I held back for so long.  I had been saving it
for JC, but Bobby ended up getting all I had to offer.

	Covered in sweat and feeling like I might pass out, I watched Bobby
finish swallowing my load before he stood up and looked into my eyes.  His
eyes were full of warmth and love, but I didn't know what my eyes were
saying to him.  He took my hand and wrapped it around his cock, stroking
himself with it.  I was completely defenseless, ready to let him do
whatever he wanted to me.

	"You're so hot," I said to him, savoring the feeling of his wet
cock slipping up and down my hand.  He smiled and let go of my hand,
content to let me do the stroking on my own.

	"Faster," he said, pressing himself tightly against me.  "Faster."
He nuzzled his face into my chest as I jerked him hard against me.  He
started to moan and soon after, cum shot out of his pretty dick, splashing
my thigh and falling into the dirt on the ground.  He held onto me for dear
life as he came, pulling my face to his and kissing me deeply.  I had seen
and felt everything I had been lusting for, and surprisingly I had a deep
feeling of satisfaction.  I knew that guilt would quickly be following from
behind, so I tried to just fully enjoy the experience.

	After he had calmed down, Bobby smiled at me and told me how great
I was.  I returned the compliment, as it was richly deserved.  "Don't get
all weird now," he warned me.  "Let's just take things as they happen."  I
nodded and for some reason tousled his hair.  He leaned over and kissed me
again, then set about getting dressed.

	"Man, was that normal or were you really storing up?" he laughed,
handing me a tissue for my thigh.  I blushed and decided I didn't really
need to answer that.  We both got dressed and I noticed that Bobby looked
completely content for the first time in weeks.  "We better get out of here
before we become somebody's dinner," he said.

	We walked back to the camp in the dark, guided by the light of the
fire that was still going strong.  We teased each other about different
stuff on our walk, and were happy when we were finally back in an open
area.  We walked toward the group of people and I immediately saw Tim
looking over at the two of us.  He quickly shifted his eyes away and the
feelings of guilt began to appear.

	As we got closer, I noticed that a new jeep was parked near the
entrance to the camp.  Bobby and I both seemed to be interested in its
arrival so we walked toward it.

	"Excuse me," I heard a familiar nasal voice say to someone.  "But
do you know where I can find Nate Murray?"  Without even looking, I knew
who it was, and my heart sank into the pit of my stomach.

	"Oh, that's funny, he's right here," one of the other production
assistants said, stepping out from behind the jeep.  I heard the familiar
voice thank him and then, he was there.  Right in front of me.  The man I
loved.  The man I had just betrayed.

	"Surprise!" JC smiled, waving at me with his hand.  Our eyes locked
and I felt like he knew everything and nothing.  I saw him look at Bobby
and then back at me.

	"Wait," Bobby said.  "Aren't you JC Chasez?"

	"Yeah," JC laughed. I could tell that he was wondering why I wasn't
saying anything.  He stepped forward and shook Bobby's hand.  "Call me
Josh."

	Bobby eyes grew even wider then usual and soon I had both of them
staring at me.  "This is Josh?" Bobby asked, completely in shock.

	I looked back and forth between the two of them.  I didn't know
what to do or what to say.  My body decided to help me out by taking an
alternative route.  I leaned over and vomited.


To be continued