Date: Thu, 7 Aug 2003 06:31:14 -0700 (PDT)
From: Michael Bryan <mzbryan2003@yahoo.com>
Subject: JC and the Actor (Chapter 4)

JC and the Actor, Chapter 4, Copyright 2003
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The following story is entirely a work of fiction.  It is not meant to
imply anything about the sexuality or the personal lives of the members of
NSYNC, or any other celebrities mentioned.  If you are underage, or if it
is illegal to read sexually explicit gay material where you live, don't
read this.

Thanks to all of you who have written.  I enjoy your comments, suggestions
and criticisms, and hope that they continue.  Email me at
mzbryan2003@yahoo.com

p.s. Anyone see JC at the Teen Choice Awards Wednesday?  Pretty yummy

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Chapter 4

	My knees gave out and I fell to the floor.  It was as though time
had stopped.  My body felt numb, but I could see drops of tears falling on
the ground in front of.  It was the most horrific thing I had ever
witnessed.  I couldn't bear to look up anymore, so I fixed my eyes on a
crack on the stage floor.  I felt myself reenter my body when I heard
footsteps running toward the stage.  I looked up to see JC come running in,
drenched and out of breath.  "Nate?"  I slowly stood up.  My legs felt like
iron pipes.  I wanted to run to him but I wasn't able to.  I started
lumbering toward him and he met me halfway.  I fell into his arms and
started sobbing uncontrollably.  He held me tight, telling me that it was
ok.  Then he must have looked up because I heard him gasp and he tightened
his grip around me.
	"I didn't get back in time." I cried.  "I knew something was
wrong."  JC shushed me, stroking my hair and telling me it wasn't my fault.
He asked me if I had called 911 and I shook my head no.  I pulled myself
away from him, fumbled around for my cell phone, and dialed the number.  An
ambulance was dispatched and police were also on their way.  JC embraced me
once again and I held onto him for dear life.  "Can we get her down from
there?" I asked him.
	"I don't think we should," he replied.  "It's probably best to
leave it as it happened."  I felt incredibly helpless.  JC sat with me on
the stage floor until the paramedics and police arrived.  I gave him a
sudden look of concern.
	"Oh my God, is it bad for you to be here?" I asked, wondering how
this would look in the papers tomorrow.
	"Don't worry about it," he answered, placing his hand over mine.
"I'm not going anywhere."  The paramedics rushed in and set about getting
up to the catwalk. The police asked me to describe what happened, which I
did.  I told them about the note, which they retrieved from the dressing
room.  After they finished their report, they told us we could leave.  The
paramedics passed by me with a gurney containing the body of Liza.  She was
completely zipped up in a black bag.  The sight brought tears to my eyes
once again and I worried that I might stop breathing.  One of the
paramedics thought that I should go to the hospital in case I went into
shock, but I told him I would be fine, that I just needed to go to sleep
and get away from here.  "Let's get you home then," JC said, putting his
arm on my shoulder.  I nodded and we headed out.  JC must have called his
driver while the police were questioning me, because the car was waiting
outside of the theater.  We drove to my apartment, and JC followed me out
of the car, telling his driver that he would call him in the morning.  I
turned to tell him that he didn't have to stay with me, but since I knew
deep down that I wanted him to, I stayed silent and led him up to my
apartment.

----------
	I stood in front of my door completely spent, not exactly sure what
the next step was.  I then felt JC's hand reaching into my pocket.  He
pulled out my keys and unlocked the door.  He walked me inside.  I went
over and sat down on the couch.  "You're all wet," I heard JC say.  Since
his statement didn't seem to cause any reaction on my part, the next thing
I felt was JC pulling off my shirt.  He then helped me out of my shoes and
jeans.  I sat there on the couch in my underwear while JC retrieved a towel
from the bathroom.  He toweled my hair dry and wiped the towel across my
chest, arms, and legs.  He then pulled his own shirt and pants off, and did
the same to himself.  Once he was standing in front of me in his
boxer-briefs, I fully realized that JC had taken off after me when I jumped
out of his car.  Why did he do that?  Why was he so concerned?  "Where do
you keep things to sleep in?" he asked.
	"The bottom right drawer of my dresser," I answered, somewhat happy
to realize I was paying attention.  He returned wearing a gray pair of my
pajama pants and carrying a pair of blue ones.  He was still bare-chested,
and seeing him there, his dark hair tousled, his muscles clenched, and the
loose pajamas hanging loosely on his hips, exposing the top of his
boxer-briefs, I thought that he was absolutely beautiful.  I took the pants
from him and stood up to put them on.  I walked toward the bathroom and he
followed me.  Apparently I had picked up a watchdog at some point in the
evening.  I started brushing my teeth.  While doing so I opened the
medicine cabinet, found a new toothbrush, and handed it to JC.  He smiled
and started brushing along with me.  Our sudden domestic bliss was shooting
off all sorts of signals in my head, but I didn't have the energy to react
to them.  We finished and I led him into my bedroom.  I crawled under the
covers and he slipped in behind me, spooning against my back.  It felt so
good that it scared me.  Was I supposed to object?  Did I want to?  The
only other person I had shared this bed with was Mark, but that suddenly
felt like a long time ago.
	We laid there together in the dark.  I couldn't close me eyes for
fear of visualizing Liza's jump from the catwalk.  I kept staring at the
clock on my nightstand.  I could see the hands in the dim light, and knew a
half-hour had already passed.  "You're not sleeping." I heard from behind
me.
	"I can't," I replied.  Josh's grip tightened around me.  He kissed
my shoulder.
	"You have to relax," he said, stroking my hair.  I then felt his
hand slide down my stomach and into my pants.  He grasped my cock and
started massaging it.
	"Josh no, we can't, I can't."  Without realizing I started moving
my hand up and down his arm, feeling the soft hairs of his forearm.
	"Shh," was his response.  "It will help you go to sleep."  He
rolled me onto my back and placed a few light, feathery kisses on my chest,
all the while rubbing my cock to an erection.  He slid further down the
bed, taking the sheets with him.  He kissed my stomach above the waistband
of my underwear.  I felt him sliding them and my pajamas down.  He kissed
my cock and I reached down to pull him off.
	"Josh, no,"
	"Let me, let me," was his response.  I let go of his head and he
rolled his mouth over my cock.  He began a slow motion up and down and I
started groaning almost immediately.  His hands reached up above him and
grabbed onto my pecs, kneading them and pulling at the hairs on my chest.
He was able to take all of me in and I felt his nose rubbing against my
pubes.  I wanted to lift my knees up, but his weight held them down.  He
let my cock fall out of his mouth and proceeded to lick up and down it,
like he was rolling a cigarette.  He then closed his mouth just over my
mushroom-shaped head and applied pressure with his lips and tongue.
	"Oh Josh," I muttered rubbing my hands through his hair.  I could
hear soft groans coming from him and I could occasionally hear him softly
gasping for air.  "I'm ready."
	He released my cock from his mouth, and replaced it with his hand.
His saliva had made it quite slippery and I started bucking up against his
hand.  He was stroking me fast, pinching my nipple with his other hand.
When my body finally tensed, he tightened his grip just below the head of
my cock, and I started shooting all over my stomach.  I was moaning,
feeling like I would be cumming forever.  When it was finally over I felt
JC wiping at my stomach with tissues he must have gotten from the other
nightstand.  He pulled my pants back up, rolled me back onto my side, and
spooned himself back against me.  I felt warm and comfortable.  He placed a
quick kiss on my cheek and said goodnight.  I wanted to say goodnight to
him as well, but I had fallen fast asleep.

----------
	I woke up relaxed and peaceful.  JC was still around me.  I placed
my hand on his forearm and slowly tried to roll him over.  He rolled onto
his back and continued to sleep.  I sat there for a moment just looking at
him, watching his chest rise and fall.  His dark eyelashes, his smooth
brows, I could have just kept watching.  In the back of my mind I knew that
I was slowly going crazy for this guy, but for now I got up and headed into
the shower.  When I finished I came out wrapped in a towel to find JC
sitting up in my bed, talking on his cell.  He waved at me and I went into
my walk-in closet to get dressed.  Moments later he called out to me,
"Justin said last night is all over the news.  Oh shit!"
	"What is it?" I called out.
	"Uh, apparently the news is all over you!"  I came out of the
closet (ok, yeah, I know) and walked over to the window where JC was
standing.  Below were a bunch of reporters, standing outside of my
building.  I had never been in a situation like this.
	"Uh, Josh, is this the kind of thing where we are gonna need, like,
damage control or something?"
	"Well," he began.  "I don't think the two of us prancing out of
your apartment this morning is going to exactly help my album's sales or
your pending movie deals."  The reality of being gay in a situation like
this was daunting.  It was one thing to live your life as you wanted, to go
where you wanted, and to not really worry about people's speculation.  But
it was another to go on national television and be like "yeah, by the way,
this is my boyfriend," particularly if you were an internationally famous
pop singer.  I myself knew that such publicity would hurt my chances of
becoming a movie actor, and didn't know if that was something I was willing
to give up.  I thought for a moment, partly about what to do, partly about
why I had just thought of JC as my boyfriend.
	"I can just go down," I said.  "I mean, I don't think it's a story
where they will want to camp out here all day."
	"That's probably not a good idea," JC replied.
	"Why not?  I'll just go tell them what happened, and then they'll
leave."  JC didn't look happy.  I headed into the living room when my phone
rang.  "Hello?"
	"Whatever you do, do not go talk to those fucking reporters!"  It
was Allen.
	"Allen, what's the big deal?"
	"Nathan, do you really want your first television appearance to be
as the witness to a suicide?  You're going to be a star Nathan, you're not
the man on the street!"
	"Well, what should I do then?"
	"You have a publicist now."
	"I do?"
	"Yes, she's on her way over.  She's going to make a brief statement
on your behalf and then kindly ask the reporters to leave."
	"But how does she know what I saw or how it happened?"
	"Nathan, Liza hung herself right?"  The question sent a chill down
my spine.
	"Yes."
	"It upset you, right?"
	"Yes."
	"Well that's all we need, I'll call you later."  He hung up and I
looked over at JC.
	"Allen thinks I should stay up here."  JC nodded, I felt an "I told
you so" coming on, but it didn't.  I guess JC was definitely going to know
how to handle these things better than me.
	I walked back to the window.  My "publicist" arrived and made a
statement at the top of the steps to my building.  Fear of opening the
window kept me from hearing what she said, but minutes later all the
reporters packed up and left.  Apparently it was over.  Liza was not
tremendously famous outside of New York City, so it was unlikely that the
story would have a long life.  I imagined the next couple of days would be
tough, but that would be the end of it.  I heard the shower start.
	While JC was in the shower, I called Maggie, Paul and some other
people related to the show.  As it was Monday, we had the day off anyway,
but everyone wondered about what was to come.  We learned that Liza's
funeral was going to take place tomorrow morning and we were told that the
fate of our show would be decided this afternoon.  I agreed to meet Maggie
later on for dinner.
	When I hung up the phone, JC emerged from his shower wearing a
towel.  His skin was pink and he looked a bit worn out.  "I think I had the
water a little to hot."  He walked over to the kitchen table and flopped
into one of the chairs.  I walked up behind him and placed my hands on his
shoulders.  I started rubbing them and he quickly responded in such a way
that suggested he was enjoying it.  I thought how it was really something
the way that he came after me last night, and that he seemed so determined
to make sure I was ok.  I wasn't sure if the friends I've had for years
would have done the same.
	"Thanks for everything Josh," I said.
	"No problem," he replied.  I felt his shoulders slightly tighten
and wondered if I has embarrassed him with my gratitude.  I looked down at
him and noticed his taught arms.  Up until recently they had been my
favorite part of his anatomy.  I placed my hands on his well-sculpted
biceps and slid them up in down.  I didn't know what I was doing, but it
seemed to be some sort of massage.
	"Mmm, I'm going to be late," he said, leaning back against me.  I
froze.  Something about this scenario suddenly bothered me.  It was too
comfortable, too touching, too soon.  I dropped my hands from his arms and
walked over to the refrigerator.
	"I should get you some clothes."  I quickly walked into my bedroom
to find a shirt and pants, wishing a little that I could close the door and
stay in there forever.  JC called into me.
	"We have an autograph signing at the Virgin Mega-store this
afternoon, then we're going to be on Letterman."
	"Wow, uh, then you'll definitely be wanting to wear clothes for
that." Did I just say that?  I grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and
walked back out, handing them to him.  He undid his towel and let it drop
to the floor.  For someone who had never even taken his shirt off for the
camera, he sure wasn't shy around people he knew.  His cock was pretty long
even when it was flaccid, and I had trouble keeping my eyes off of it.
	As he pulled on the pants I had given him and tucked his cock into
them he said "So I don't know, but if you want to come to any of those
things I can arrange it for you."
	"Thanks," I replied.  "But I think I might just go for a walk in
the park.  You know, try to clear my head."
	"Ok, well if you want, later..."
	"I'm having dinner with Maggie." I interrupted, not trying to be
rude, just trying to remain separate.  JC tried to look as though he hadn't
missed a beat.
	"Ok, cool, well, I guess I'll talk to you later then."  He pulled
on the shirt and put his shoes back on.
	"Ok."  JC walked up to me.  I wasn't sure what he was going to do
and I didn't think he did either.  He raised his hand and rubbed the top of
my head roughly.
	"It'll all be alright.  You're not going to feel like this
forever."  He turned to walk out.
	"Thanks Josh," I called out.  He raised his hand in acknowledgement
and closed the door behind him.

----------
	Walking in the park, my thoughts were all over the place.  I still
felt incredibly guilty for not seeing the signs of Liza's depression
sooner.  I was also starting to feel guilty about the way I was treating
JC, although I hadn't really done anything to him.  I felt like we weren't
on the same page with respect to the type of relationship we had.  At the
same point, JC himself had made it clear to me that he wasn't looking for
something serious, that he just wanted to be friends.  So why was I turning
into such a mess?  I didn't have anyone to talk to about it.  My friends
were they types that were either in completely serious or completely casual
relationships.  This limbo-type situation they would find intolerable.  I
reminded myself that JC was a guy I had fucked in a bathroom only three
days ago, but it was impossible to reconcile that image with the one of the
guy consoling me after I endured the most horrible experience of my life.
Like I had thought before, he wasn't playing by the rules.
	I thought about just asking JC where he stood, but it seemed
stupid.  My asking would make him think that I wanted a relationship, and
if he didn't I would feel like I was suffering another break up.  I didn't
think I could bare my soul to someone again, only to learn at some point
that they didn't really care for me.  No.  I would not set myself up to be
hurt again.  JC and I would have a few more good times, then he could go
back to LA, and I would move on.  It was clearly the best decision.
	While walking around, one of the producers of the show called me
and informed me that they had decided to shut the show down for two weeks
to allow some time to pass and to begin the search for a replacement.
Liza's understudy would fill the role until then, but they wanted a bigger
name for the part.  I couldn't believe this was happening.  I couldn't
think of any show that this had ever happened to, and I wondered if it was
going to hurt the show's momentum.  I also got a call from Allen, letting
me know that he knew I had two weeks off.  He begged me to promise him that
I would be in LA by next weekend to meet with Larry Ridgecliff and a few
other people that had contacted him.  "You have no excuses now," was how he
phrased it.  I told him not to worry and that I would go.  Maybe a
pseudo-vacation to Lala Land was just what I needed.  "Shit," I suddenly
thought to myself.  There was just no way of getting away from JC.

----------
      After dinner, I returned home, thinking I would waste some time
watching some reality television.  Maggie had been quite upset through
dinner, which didn't really help to reduce my anxiety level.  Flipping
through the channels, I came upon a repeat of NSYNC's two-hour special.  It
was so strange seeing JC on it.  It was surreal actually.  When one of the
girls in the audience asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said no, I
started to harden.  She had no idea what he had been doing with me the day
before and I suddenly thought that was incredibly hot.  It was around 11:30
when my cell phone rang.  It was JC.  "Hey, what's up?" I asked.
	He chuckled a bit.  "Uh, me."  He sounded a little tipsy, and was
apparently in a really crowded, noisy place.
	"Having a good time?"
	"I'd be having more fun if I was with you," he answered.  He
sounded a bit more like the JC from the first two days I had spent with
him.  Maybe he did just want to be "fuck buddies."
	"Uh, did you want to come over?"  My erection grew harder at the
prospect of another night with him.
	"I was hoping you would say that."  I could tell he was smiling.
"I'll be there in a few minutes."  He hung up and I found myself talking
out loud.
	"Ya see?  This is why I have no fucking idea what I'm doing."
Minutes later I buzzed him in and soon he stood in my doorway.  He didn't
seem wasted as much as he seemed really happy, and something was indeed,
noticeably "up."
	"I was thinking about you the whole way here," he said, walking in
and flopping down on the couch.  "How are you feeling?"
	"Better," I replied.  For the moment it was true, as all I could
think about was the man in front of me.  I walked over and sat down next to
him.  He laughed a little again.
	"Uh, you wanna fool around?"  I looked intently into his eyes and
told him that he really didn't have to ask.  Instantly he lunged at me,
crushing his lips against mine and kissing me deeply with his tongue.
Horny JC was definitely my favorite of his many personas.  I slid my hands
under his shirt, and up and down his smooth back.  He practically started
humping against my body before I pushed him off, back to a seated position
on the couch.
	"I think I have to return a favor," I said.  He smiled as I slid
down to the ground between his legs.  I pulled off his shoes and socks.  I
undid the tight pants he was wearing and he lifted up as I pulled them and
his underwear off in one quick movement.  Once again, his monster cock was
inches from my face and harder than I had ever seen it.  I grasped it by
his base and lowered my mouth over it.
	"Ohhh," he moaned, watching everything I did.  I began bobbing up
and down on his cock.  It tasted sweet and a bit salty.  He had obviously
been dancing or in a hot place for quite a while.  My hands were sliding up
and down his slim, muscular legs while I continued to suck him.  I wondered
if I would be able to deep throat him and figured I'd give it a try.
Bracing myself, I went for it, making contact with his trimmed pubes a few
times before I worried that I might gag.  He groaned out loud when I did
this and pulled his shirt up a little, exposing his smooth, washboard
stomach.  Unlike other guys I had been with in the past, I found myself
completely torn when I was with JC.  I never knew which body part to go
for, as I wanted them all so much.  Wishing I had more hands, I stopped
sucking him and stood up.
	"I'll be right back."  He gave me an upset expression and I hurried
into my bedroom.  I pulled off all of my clothes, and my cock really seemed
to appreciate it.  I grabbed a few condoms and the lube from my nightstand
and walked back into the living room.  JC was just unbuttoning and pulling
off his shirt, leaving him completely naked on my couch.  I resumed my
position between his legs and started sucking him again.  He put his hands
on the top of my head and started rubbing them through my hair.  I slid my
mouth down to his ball sack and took one into my mouth.  He flinched as I
rolled the smooth ball around in my mouth, then did the same to the other
one.  My tongue slid beneath his balls, to the soft skin between them and
his ass.  I pushed up against the skin with my tongue and heard another
groan.  "Spread your legs," I told him.
	He did as he was told, spreading his legs wide.  I then took him by
his knees and urged his feet up onto the couch.  He tucked his hands under
his knees to hold himself up and looked like he couldn't wait to see what
was next.  Now, right in front of me was JC's hole.  It was wrinkled and
only slightly darker than the rest of his skin.  A tiny, sparse ring of
dark hair surrounded it.  My first reaction was to push my face up against
it, but I decided instead to lube up my index finger and touch it to his
hole.  I teased the outer portion of his anus while JC squirmed.  Then, in
one quick motion, I slid my finger entirely into him.  "Oh fuck!" he
yelled, snapping his head back.  This boy really liked having his ass
played with.  I started slowly finger fucking him.  He just kept moaning,
moving his head from side to side.  He released his legs, letting them stay
up on the couch by themselves while he stretched his arms behind his head.
I could see the short, straight black hairs under his arms and the visual
was making my own cock start to drip.  I slid another finger into him and
he started rocking up and down on it.  Watching him do this, I thought he
had to be the sexiest man alive.
	"Feels so good!" he mumbled.  His cock was still hard as a rock,
lying on his stomach in need of some attention.  I grabbed it with my free
hand and started stroking it.  "Oh," he moaned.  "Oh...Fuck me!  Please
fuck me!"  I looked up at him and he stared back at me.  "Fuck me Nate!"  I
didn't want him to keep begging so I withdrew my fingers and pulled on a
condom.  He looked more eager than I had ever seen him as I lubed up my
cock.  His hole was already well lubricated so I was ready in no time.  His
hands had gone back under his knees, holding his legs up as I got into
position.  I touched my cock to his hole and he licked his lips.  "Just
push it in," he called from above me.  I briefly thought about the girl on
MTV asking JC if he had a girlfriend.  It brought a smile to my face as I
pushed into him.
	He started moaning wildly and I quickly began to fuck him.
Watching the lips of JC's hole roll up and down as I pushed in and out was
perhaps the greatest turn on I had ever seen.  As I continued to pound into
him, he became louder and louder.  He had never made quite so much noise
before, and I was really getting into it.  At one point I took over holding
his legs up so that he could push his cock and balls to the side and watch
me sliding in and out of him.  He brought his hand to his hole so he could
feel my cock sliding in and out.  He then started stroking his own cock
with a lot of ferocity.  I was getting really close and could have cum at
any second, but I was holding off until JC was ready.
	I didn't have to wait that much longer as I started to recognize
the low groaning noises he was making as evidence of his impending orgasm.
"Fuck, here I go!" he said, pounding his cock with his hand and rocking up
and down on my own.  I pushed his knees up even further and really started
slamming into him.  This was definitely one of the most intense experiences
of my life.  I pressed my face into his chest and licked at the salty sweat
that had formed there.  I bit at the tiny hairs on his chest.
	With one last groan, I felt hot liquid splashing up against my
stomach.  I looked down to see cum pouring from JC's cock.  It was watery
and didn't seem to be stopping.  I felt a tightening in my balls and then I
was unloading into him, making some incredibly loud sounds of my own.  Just
when I thought I had finished my orgasm, I had another one, causing me to
rear up into him one last time before collapsing on top of him.  He
tightened his arms around me while he continued to shake and quiver.  He
then kissed the top of my head while I lay on his chest.
	"That was so incredible." JC said.
	"You are amazing," I replied, not worrying about the ramifications
of my statement.  Still inside him, I closed my eyes and rested against
him.  Was this something I could give up?

To be continued

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So what did y'all think?