Date: Sat, 05 Jan 2002 04:09:27 +0000
From: Daniel M <jellybeanking@hotmail.com>
Subject: JC Dreams 34
DISCLAIMER:
This series is entirely fiction. It is by no means an inference into who
Nsync is and any of the band members sexuality. If you are under the legal
age to read this I now request you leave. If you are offended by M/M
topics, I would ask that you remove yourself from reading this story as
well. I am by no means affiliated with JIVE/ZOMBA Records. And can someone
please tell me why I no longer bitch about having to do this part?
AUTHOR'S WORDS:
Hey Everyone. I'm not going to rant in rave about flames this time...
instead I'm going to say... if you think you can do better... you fucking
write it. I know what I'm doing, I know where I'm taking this series... you
don't. Also, I need to apologize again from my Australian terms and not
using more American ones. I'm still learning. If I blooper, can someome
please let me know. I want to say that I hope everyone had a happy Christmas
and is enjoying the festive season and that you all have a safe and happy
new year. SC.
AUTHOR'S THANKS:
I want to thank so many people now but I don't know where to start. Well to
start, I should thank the Nifty Archivist who has allowed me to post this
series on his site and has continued to let me. After Nifty, I want to thank
the Lord for giving me the ability to write and the words that I put into
each part of this series. Next I would like to thank my most devout reader,
Jordan. My young friend, you are amazing. You have a sense of knowledge and
street smarts that belies your age. Welcome to my family. Carsten, my
friend, your support to this series and to me with all that has happened,
words cannot say thank you enough. You are one in a million. Your way with
words always manage to make me smile (to make me smile is rare at the
momement, yet my friend... you still know how to) and make me realise when
I've fucked up in the story some where. Without you, JC Dreams would be
totally and utterly rooted at times. At times, when I feel I'm slipping
within me, I know that I can write and just talk to you Carsten, you will
never know what that means to me. You are one in a million and I can't think
of what to say now to try and explain what's inside... some author huh. Tim,
the net is a big place and it can also be a dangerous place. Keep in mind
the lessons I have taught. Things can go wrong, but it is up to you to make
them right. To anyone who has read and written in... thanks, your words of
support are a blessing to me in disguise. You may not realise the impact but
they are all amazing. Paul, my angel, my friend and my heart. I cannot begin
to tell you all that I hide in my heart and all that I know eternally
within. There is so much potential in all that I see with you. I can see the
movie director, I can see the young man, I can see the caring lover. I now
challenge you Paul, see what I do. Even if you don't become big and famous,
you still make me proud of you for being you. I love you for it, and I miss
you baby. To those who have read and not written in, thanks for just
reading.
AUTHOR RECOMMENDS:
Jamie's Romance - (Boy Bands) - Staring Justin (Nsync) and Jamie
(non-celeb) in a fantastic read. Well done to Jim in the unbelievable ways
you write your story. I want to be able to write like you one day, as an
author, you are a huge role model to me.
Just Together - (Celebrity) - Michael (From Dawson's Creek) and Jonnah
(tech crew) are written into an amazing story which pulls at all the heart
strings. Without this series, I would be lost.
Search and Rescue - (Boy Bands) - Nsync story with JC (duh) and Matt
(non-celeb)... and the author's a slack bastard!! He's worse than I am at
updating. LOL... now that says somnething. Leave us hanging why don't
ya... write more. Still this is by far the best of all the JC series that
get posted here on Nifty.
Ryan's Love - (Celebrity) - Ryan Phillipe and Seth Barnes... fiction
character who writes for 'Felicity' ... it's an older series that was
finished like two years ago, but still a fucking good read. Go find it!
It's also started to be updated again with all the characters growing and
being expanded on.
Josh and Curly - (Boy Bands) - at last another Nsync story by another
Australian... YEEEHAW!
FEEDBACK:
jellybeanking@hotmail.com -- this email has a messenger attatched to it. I
know this is a new email address, I have been added to a spam list by some
delightful person... if I find out who, look out (joke).
DEDICATION:
This series is dedicated to Brendon Alexander James. 10 - January - 1980 to
20 - August - 2000. From his memory and support, a story born. Eternal rest
grant unto him O'Lord and may perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in
peace. Amen
JC Dreams 34
by
SunChild
JC woke first the next day. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked
at Tony's sleeping form. His face, for once, wasn't lined with pain. It was
a welcome relief considering the past few weeks. He slowly realised, that
the past few weeks had also been taking their toll on him, he just hadn't
released it. Gently, JC stroked Tony's face causing him to stir in his
sleep. Groggily Tony opened one eye and looked at JC.
"You're awake early. Who died?"
"No one that I know of. I just woke up."
"Okay, well I'm thinking I'm going back to sleep." Muttered Tony already
half asleep. JC sighed and climbed out of bed and walked out into the main
area of the hotel room. Mark was sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in
his hand.
"Morning." Mark chirped at him. JC smiled.
"Mornin'." JC fetched his coffee then sat down and drank deeply.
"How'd you sleep?" Mark asked.
"He slept fine." JC replied automatically.
"I don't give a shit how Tony slept, I asked how YOU slept." Mark
repeated. JC looked shock then realised what he said.
"Sorry, I'm so used to everyone asking about Tony. I slept okay."
"It's cool. Caleb was right wasn't he?" Mark asked, more as a statement
than a question.
"Which part?"
"The part where it's all about Tony. Everything revolves around Tony."
Mark said. JC sighed.
"I guess it is in the end. I spent most of the night thinking about it.
It was a little surprising when I realised. Tony has all these endearing
little things that cloak everything underneath. Don't get me wrong, I love
him for everything, but he's starting to become the next Mariah."
"Mariah?" Asked Mark, clearly confused.
"Mariah Carey... diva syndrome. It gets to them and they all think that
the universe is theirs and revolves around them. I think everyone who gets a
name starts to go through it at some stage. I did, Justin did, Lance kinda
did, Chris did... and well Joey... he's too bloody lazy to go through it."
JC laughed to himself. He then quickly checked himself realising who he was
talking to.
"It's okay JC, he's my brother but I've seen the same thing, I think you
need to confront him on it all. Tell him what's inside. He no longer looks
at you with the love in his eyes that he used to, it's like the entire spark
has gone from them. I know he still loves you, but he's lost and has
forgotten why."
"Great, he loves me, but doesn't know why." Groaned JC.
When Tony finally appeared hours later, JC was gone as was Mark. A note was
left on the table.
Tone,
Gone out for a while.
I'm still friends with Justin.
Have my cell if you need me.
Love,
J.
Tony's face screwed up in disgust, then realised it was unfair of him to
expect JC to ditch his friends because of him. Shrugging he put the note
back down on the table and ambled over and made himself a coffee. When he
had his mug he walked over and down and flicked on the TV. Finally selecting
MTV, he was greeted by JC's beautiful face on the 'Gone' film clip. Sighing,
he wondered what he should do about the mess with Justin. He knew he would
miss the friendship, but could he trust Justin again? A million of these
thoughts crowded his head. Shaking his head, he flipped off the TV and
walked out onto the balcony. He sat there quietly and looked out over the
city.
JC returned back to the hotel a few hours later and found Tony still sitting
on the balcony. Walking out he sat down next to Tony.
"How was your morning?" He asked and snapped Tony out of his trance.
"Sorry, didn't hear you come in. It was okay... how was your time with
Justin?" He asked. JC shrugged.
"It was time with Justin." Tony nodded.
"Did he say anything about..."
"About you? No."
"You're kidding. After all the bullshit and pain he caused ..."
"Caused you? What about the pain he caused to everyone else." JC snapped
at Tony.
"Josh, what's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong Tony." JC told him, annoyance shining in his voice.
"Then why are you snapping at me?"
"Because it's always about you Tony. Everything has to revolve around
you. Caleb was right, you are becoming self-absorbed and ignorant. The rest
of us have problems as well you know..."
"Josh..." Tony tried.
"Don't interrupt me Tony. I've had enough of it. You're turning into
little miss thang, trying to be the superstar that you're not. As far as
you're concerned, the world revolves around you. Yeah fair enough, it's been
a fucked up time for you... but always? I don't think so. You never look
optimistic, always negative. You expect too much of everyone. You want
Justin to have the head of a 30 year old on his shoulders. Christ Tony, he's
20. He never really had a child hood... it was all in the spot light." JC
ranted angrily.
"I only do what I do because I want him to find his childhood."
"Then let him. Don't step on him all the time when he makes a mistake."
JC steamed.
"Fucking Caleb wasn't a mistake."
"Yes it was Tony. It was also a cry out to you. You smother and choke
him. If he rebelled and did something you wouldn't like, you'd loosen your
grip. I don't think he realised how far it would throw things, but it was a
mistake." JC continued.
"Josh..."
"Don't 'Josh' me Tony. I've had enough. Sort your shit out or move out.
I'm expected to just sit back and listen to you bitch, whine and be at your
beck and call whenever you need. Where am I meant to turn when I need
something."
"You're meant to turn to me." Tony threw back.
"How can I, when all I do is listen to you and tend to you?" JC threw at
him harshly. Tony looked away.
"What are you saying, you want out?"
"That's always the way with you isn't it Tony. If things aren't peachy
pie and fine, you want to run and get out. It's either all or nothing and
the all is one sided Tony. That's not a relationship, it's a parasite. It's
going to kill us Tony. Now sort it out, I'll be staying with Chris and Joey
while you do." JC snapped and stood.
"Josh, please..."
"No Tony, not now."
"Fine JC."
"Oh get fucked Tony." JC told him in disgust. With that JC walked out off
the balcony and out of the hotel room, slamming the door behind him. Tony
shuddered as he heard the door slam and slumped forwards, head in his hands.
JC stalked down the hall, a thunder cloud hovering over his head. Justin
stuck his head out the door and saw JC coming towards him.
"JC, you okay?"
"No, I'm pissed off." He snapped.
"Ah... ok... why?"
"Because Tony is a fucking self-centred diva... tell Caleb he was right
for me." With that JC stormed on past. Justin's head reeled as he tried to
take it in. Justin walked back into his room and closed the door. Caleb
looked at him.
"JC and Tony are on the outs?" Asked Caleb.
"Again." Justin said sighing. Caleb grinned.
"Makes my heart beat faster." Justin looked at Caleb in disgust and
opened the door.
"Seek help Caleb." He said as he closed the door.
Joey and Chris were returning from the mall, each had bags in their hands
when JC rounded the corner and almost smacked into them.
"Just the guys I was looking for." JC half grinned.
"You flattened, I mean, found us." Chris smiled.
"Can I crash with you guys for a few nights?" He asked. Chris and Joey
looked at each other.
"Why?"
"Long story short, I told Tony to shape up or ship out. I've had enough
of his superstar image that he's created for himself. I told him as much
too." JC admitted. Chris sighed.
"Why did I see this coming? Yes, of course you can." JC smiled for the
first time that day.
"Thanks guys." The elevator doors opened and Mark stepped out, his arm
linked with Britney's.
"Oh God, don't tell me you two are together now?" Moaned Joey.
"Our secret." Giggled Britney. The other three men all looked at each
other.
"They are."
"JC, I hope you don't mind, but I've gotten my own room now." Mark told
him. JC shrugged.
"It's cool. I'm staying with Chris and Joey."
"Went off at Tony?" Asked Mark.
"Went off at Tony." Confirmed JC. Britney shook her head.
"You guys are unreal. Look at what he's been through, and you all walk
away."
"Look at what you just said Brit. That's what he's all about... the poor
little Tony thing. I'm sick of it. That's why I'm not staying with him." JC
commented. Britney sighed.
"Okay, well, don't think that I'm going to ignore him or anything." JC
shook his head.
"I won't Brit. I don't dicate on friendships." Britney nodded and she and
Mark walked down towards their room.
Justin walked up and down the hall outside his room, trying to decide if he
should go see Tony, or just keep clear. Mark and Britney rounded the corner
and he looked up.
"Brit..." He began. Britney looked away and kept walking. Justin sighed
and decided to go for a walk. Walking into the room, Caleb was lying on the
bed.
"I wondered when you'd come back."
"I'm only getting some shoes and a cap." Justin told him curtly.
"Well, I'll come with you." Caleb said moving on the bed.
"Don't bother. I'm going on my own." Justin told him as he pulled on his
shoes. When they were on, he stood and got ready to walk out the door.
"I suggest you aren't here when I get back." Justin told him and left.
Tony hadn't moved from where he was on the balcony when he heard the front
door open. Half turning he called out quietly.
"Josh?"
"Try again. I just came to get my stuff, I'm getting my own room a few
doors down." Mark called back.
"Oh, okay. Have you seen Josh?" Tony asked standing and walking into the
room.
"Yeah, he's staying with Chris and Joey. Anyways, I'm movin' my stuff...
see ya at dinner or something." Mark said as he hurried out of the room.
Tony was left standing there feeling more alone than ever before.
JC, Joey and Chris were all sitting around in their hotel room when JC
stood.
"I'm going to go and get my clothes." He told them. Joey and Chris nodded
and JC walked down to Tony's room. Walking in, he saw Tony sitting in a
little ball in the corner. JC contemplated going over to him but decided
against it. He walked quietly into the bedroom and collected his things. As
he was leaving Tony looked up, and called out softly, his voice broken.
"Josh?"
"See you at dinner Tony." JC said as he closed the door. Tony dropped his
head back down and let tears slip down over his cheeks.
Justin returned from his walk and entered the room. He looked around and saw
no sign of Caleb. He looked over and Caleb's bag was gone. Smiling happily,
Justin felt a weight lifted from his shoulder. For the first time in days,
Justin felt halfway normal and decent.
The group gathered for dinner, minus Tony. After waiting five minutes,
Lance, who had been in meetings all day, went and called Tony. When he came
back, his face was confused.
"There was no answer when I rang his room. He didn't answer his cell
phone either." JC shrugged.
"Means he's not interested. Let's go." With that JC walked out of the
lobby and out to the waiting car. Mark got a worried look on his face.
"I think I may have advised wrong." Joey looked at him.
"Advised wrong?"
"I told JC to face Tony and tell him things straight." Admitted Mark.
"Ever get the feeling JC told him too straight?" Threw in Chris.
"Very much so." The group sighed collectively.
"Well, he won't answer the door either no doubt, so let's go eat and then
talk about it later." Justin suggested. Chris declined.
"Actually, I don't think I'll go out tonite. It wouldn't be right without
Tony there." He said. The others nodded understanding and headed out of the
lobby while Chris turned and headed back up to the floor where they were all
based.
Chris walked out of the elevator and was about to go into his room when he
reconsidered and walked down to Tony's room. Knocking lightly, he waited for
an answer. The door opened slightly and Chris tried to look in but could see
only Tony's outline in the darkness.
"Yes Chris?"
"I just wanted to see if you wanted to grab something to eat. The
other's have all gone out and I didn't want to go. Thought you might want
some company." Tony shook his head.
"No thanks Chris, I'd rather just be alone. I'm going to go to bed
anyways. I'll see you tomorrow or something." Chris was going to say more
when Tony shut the door.
"Night Chris."
"Good night Tony." Chris stood there for a moment longer, confused as
what to do next. Eventually, he wandered back down to his room and ordered
room service.
True to his word, Tony walked into the bedroom and climbed into bed. He
looked at the empty spot next to him, which would usually be filled by JC.
Tony felt tears trickling down over his cheeks and wiped them away.
Eventually, he slipped off asleep into a dreamless sleep which seemed to
never end until the morning light penetrated his room. Getting out of bed,
he closed the curtains and checked all the locks, sliding the chain into
position on the door. With that he turned and climbed back into bed.
The others had arrived home late and had split to go to bedrooms. Lance was
now bunking in with Justin, Britney had migrated down to Mark's room, now
vacated by Lance. JC and Joey headed to the same room. They walked in and
found Chris asleep on the couch, a pizza half finished infront of him and
light from the TV flickering against him. Walking over, JC gently shook
Chris. Chris awoke with a start and looked at JC.
"Oh, sorry didn't hear you come in." JC smiled.
"It's cool, we're all just heading off to bed." Chris nodded. JC looked
at him and spoke softly.
"Did you go see Tony?" Chris nodded his head.
"How is he?" Asked JC.
"Don't know, the lights were off and he was going to bed, I didn't really
see him." Chris told him, sympathy and pity lacing his voice. JC nodded and
shrugged.
"His loss." With that he grabbed a pillow and lay down on the couch.
The next morning when JC awoke, he got up and got dressed, finding Joey and
Chris still asleep, he crept quietly from the room and went down and tried
to get into Tony's room with his key. The door partly opened, only to be
stopped by the chain. Surprised and hurt, JC sighed and pulled the door
closed and locked it again. Pulling pen and paper from his pocket, he wrote
and slid the note under the door.
Tony hear someone at the door and got out of bed. He saw the door close and
heard it lock again. He then saw a note slip in under the door. Walking
over, he picked it up gingerly and read it.
Tone,
I don't care,
words are words,
I still love you more
than my life.
Love for eternity
J. xx
Crumpling the note, he threw it on the table.
"Then why'd you leave Josh, then why'd you leave?" He asked.
---
Shoot me later, I know what I'm doing.
Feedback: -= jellybeanking@hotmail.com =-
Hugs kisses and jellybeans, SC.