Date: Sat, 08 Dec 2001 16:09:30 -0500
From: Writer Boy <writerboy69@hotmail.com>
Subject: jc's hitchhiker - part 29

Obligatory warnings and disclaimers:

1) If reading this is in any way illegal where you are or at your age, or
you don't want to read about male/male relationships, go away. You
shouldn't be here.

2) I don't know any of the celebrities in this story, and this story in no
way is meant to imply anything about their sexualities, personalities, or
anything else.  This is a work of pure fiction.

Questions and commentary can be sent to "writerboy69@hotmail.com". I've
enjoyed hearing from all of you, and damn has the commentary been rolling
in after the last couple chapters!

Let's pick up where we left off, shall we?

***

Justin was wearing the same outfit he'd had on earlier, jeans barely
hanging off of his slim hips, sleeveless t-shirt stretched tightly across
his chest. His arms hung loosely at his sides, and he smiled at me, that
perfect glowing smile that lit up his whole face as his blue eyes sparkled
like gaslights. He looked so open, and friendly, so damn boy next door (if
the boy who lived next door to you was utterly hot, that is) that something
inside my head shifted as I tried to reconcile the image of warm, outgoing
Justin with the domineering, abusive, sexually manipulative Justin that I'd
seen only hours earlier.

How could he do it? How could he do that to someone who was supposed to be
his friend? I wondered if I might really be trapped in a soap opera after
all.  This would be so much easier to explain if Justin had an evil twin,
or a split personality. I stared at him, my mind still reeling, and seemed
to actually feel the world turning beneath my feet as we stood gaping at
each other.

"I came to see if you ate yet," he said.

"What about Lance?" I asked, blurting the first words that came into my
head. Oh my God, did I just say that? "Or Chris and Joey?"

"I think Lance had something earlier," Justin said, so smoothly innocent I
wanted to scream. "And Joey and Chris are out somewhere. I think they went
to Hooters again.  Besides, I thought we said earlier that we were gonna
hang out tonight."

"Oh, that's right," I said. "We did say that, before."

"Before what?" Justin asked, his head tilting quizzically to one side.

Before I saw you dick-smacking Lance and enjoying it, some voice in my head
muttered.

"Before we came back from the airport," I said, finally starting to feel
like I had myself under control.

If Justin could pretend nothing was happening, so could I, but not for
long.  I couldn't sit on what I'd seen forever, but I needed to think about
it before I said anything. I couldn't just blurt things out. I needed to
plan what I was going to say, and make sure that I actually got the message
across before this sudden sense of outrage I was feeling overwhelmed me and
reduced me to screaming at him. I wanted to slap him, and then slap him
again, and until I got that impulse under control I couldn't talk to him
about what I'd seen.

"Um, Jack, are you going to ask me in?" Justin asked.

I realized I was physically blocking the doorway with my body as he stood
waiting. I stepped aside.

"I'm sorry," I said, wondering if I should even be letting him come inside.
I wished again that Josh was here.

"Jack, are you ok?" Justin asked, sitting on the couch. He sat down in his
classic Justin way, completely comfortable, completely at ease, completely
certain that he was the center of attention. "You seem kind of out of it."

"I'm fine," I said blandly, switching on a lamp. I'm fine, Justin, I'm just
worried that somehow I'm going to end up on my knees in front of you, and I
won't know how I got there.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "You're just acting a little weird. Is it 'cause
you miss Josh?"

"Yeah, I think that's it," I said quickly. "I miss Josh already, because I
love him."

Wait, had I just agreed with Justin? That's how he got you! What was I
thinking?

I stopped myself right there. I couldn't keep doing this, or I would second
guess every single word I said. I already had enough to think about without
this, too.  And besides, Justin wouldn't play those games with me. He'd
already had his chance, with Josh and I both, and he was our friend. He
wasn't friends with Lance, as far as I could tell, so maybe that made it
acceptable in Justin's head for him to treat Lance the way he had. Chris
had pointed out that Justin was very protective of his friends, and I had
to believe that was true. I had to believe it, or I wasn't even going to be
able to talk to Justin, much less go to dinner with him.

"Yeah, I know," Justin said, laughing. "No one said you didn't."

"Justin, I'm sorry," I said, shaking my head. "I've been in here cleaning
all afternoon, and I think I'm kind of out of it more than I thought."

"Do you still want to go out tonight?" he asked, leaning forward, looking
concerned.  How was it possible for Justin to look cute, no matter what he
was doing?

"Maybe just to dinner, and not to a movie," I said apologetically. "I
haven't heard from Josh yet, and I want to know if he's ok, and how things
are going."

"Well, why don't you bring your cell phone, and we'll just go somewhere
nearby?" Justin suggested. "Maybe that little bistro caf‚ place up
around the corner."

"The one by the bread store?" I asked. "Sure."

Justin stood, stretching, pulling that t-shirt even tighter as the bottom
rode up, giving a glimpse of the waistband of his Tommy boxers above his
low hanging jeans.

"I'm going to go grab another shirt, or a jacket or something," he said.
"Meet you in the parking lot?"

"Sure," I said, watching him leave.

After the door closed behind him I let out a long, slow exhale. That had
gone well, once I settled down, but it was still a little
uncomfortable. Part of the problem was that I was also always a little
unsettled by Justin. I found him extremely attractive, and he knew I
did. He wasn't actively throwing himself at me any longer, and we'd had a
long discussion about how he didn't really want Josh or I, but that little
snippet of sexual tension still lingered between us. Not even the threesome
had removed it completely.  Now, adding in the newly conflicted loyalties
of the friendship I felt for Justin, and trying to reconcile them with the
way I felt about what he was doing to Lance, I wondered how I was going to
deal with him for the next couple days.

And then I wondered what was going to happen after that, after I confronted
him. Would he think I was spying on him? Would he still want to be my
friend? And what was going to happen when Josh found out? I didn't think I
needed to tell the other guys, but I was already keeping too much from
Josh. I needed to get this straightened out, and figure out what was going
on with whoever kept sending me these clippings of myself, before Josh came
back. If I didn't get it all worked out, I resolved that I would tell Josh
anyway. It wasn't right to keep things from him, and it also wasn't fair
for him to be so concerned about being honest with the people he loved when
I wasn't doing the same.

I was still thinking about all of this when I met Justin down in the
parking lot. We drove in silence over to the bistro, Britney's songs
pouring out of the speakers.  Under any other circumstances the familiarity
of her voice might have been soothing, but I realized now that she would
probably also end up involved in however this worked out.

"Justin, did you tell Britney about us?" I asked. His head jerked toward me
in surprise.

"Where did that come from?" he asked. He sounded a little annoyed, but
mostly just curious.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly. "I was just thinking about it, because you
have her on the radio. I shouldn't have blurted it out like that, and, you
know, it's really none of my business anyway, so never mind. Just forget I
asked."

"Well, no, it's not a problem that you asked," he said, parallel parking
with an ease I'd never mastered. "No. I didn't tell her. There wouldn't be
a point to it."

"No point?" I asked. He cheated on her. Was he ever planning to tell her?

"Well, no, not really," he said, turning off the car. "I mean, it was just
a one time thing.  It's not like I'm going to end up in bed with you two
again, so why let her worry about it?  If I tell her, she'll wonder all
along if I really still like guys, and every time we go on tour she'll
wonder if I'm sleeping with Josh or if I'm thinking about her. Why?  Are
you planning to tell her?"

"No, of course not," I answered. "It's not my place to tell her, not if
you're ok with keeping it from her."

Justin put a hand on my arm. He didn't look angry, but I was getting the
impression that he didn't really want to have this discussion.

"Jack, do you tell Josh every little thing that happens to you?" he asked,
leaning in.  "Every time you look at another guy, and think something
sexual? Do you tell Josh everything that you're thinking, all the time?"

Justin was leaning in very close, and suddenly the car seemed very small. I
could feel his breath on my face.

"No, Justin, I don't," I said, staring into his eyes. I wasn't going to
pull away, and give him the upper hand. "And I'm not telling you how to
live your life, or run your relationship with Britney. I was just curious."

Justin let go of me, appearing satisfied, and leaned back.

"Jack, I played around, but it was only that one time," he said. "If I fell
in love with someone else, I'd tell her. If I ever played around, and felt
feelings of any kind for that person, I'd tell Brit in a heartbeat. But if,
you know, every once in a while, I slip, why does she need to know?"

So it was ok to cheat on someone, as long as you didn't love the person you
were cheating with? What a convenient moral structure. Under that
guideline, it was also completely acceptable for Justin to receive blowjobs
from Lance, but still feel committed and faithful to Britney.

"Besides, she does the same thing to me," Justin said simply. It caught me
completely off guard.

"What?" I blurted. "She doesn't seem like she'd do that."

"Brit and I have an understanding," he said. "As long as we're together,
we're only for each other. If we're separated, and one of us slips, it's
ok, as long as we're not slipping too far."

"Interesting arrangement," I said, turning to open my door. "Come on, we've
been sitting in the car too long. Let's go get some food."

"Do you and Josh have anything like that worked out?" Justin asked as I
joined him on the sidewalk.

"No," I said, wondering why he was asking. "Josh and I don't play around on
each other."

"Isn't it hard?" Justin asked as we walked up the sidewalk toward the
bistro. "I mean, you know, you get kind of used to having sex. Don't you
miss it?"

"Yes," I said, laughing. Sometimes Justin could be a typical twenty year
old. "But, you know, there's more to a relationship than sex. I miss Josh,
but I can wait until he gets back."

"That's cool," Justin said, grinning. "Josh is like that, too. You guys are
perfect for each other."

"What about you?" I asked, keeping it light. We were just two buddies,
talking about sex.  I had to find out what he'd say. "Are you doing ok with
Britney gone?"

"I get by," he said, grinning. I grinned, too, even though I felt like
vomiting. "You doing ok?"

"It's only been a day, Justin," I said, shaking my head. "Besides, that's
what I have a hand for."

We both laughed, and I followed him into the bistro. We ordered a couple of
sandwiches, with chips and drinks, and took them to the little outdoor
tables. There was a fence around the table area, so you weren't right out
on the sidewalk, but you could still watch the cars and the people go
by. Justin and I settled in, watching the people around us. He had on a
floppy fisherman's type of cap, which we figured was disguise enough, and
no one seemed to have noticed him. After a minute or two, we were pretty
sure no one knew who he was, and we visibly relaxed and went back to our
food.

Our cell phones sat next to each other in the middle of the table, and I
found myself glancing toward mine for what seemed like the hundredth time,
waiting for it to ring.

"You worried that he hasn't called?" Justin asked, following my eyes.

"A little," I said. "I mean, I know he's pretty distracted right now, but I
thought he'd at least call to tell me the plane landed."

"I'm sure he'll call soon," Justin said. "He told me that you didn't like
it if he called and didn't really have time to talk, so maybe he's
waiting."

"I guess I did tell him that," I said, shrugging. "It's not too late where
he is, anyway, so he'll probably call any time now."

"You worried about him?" Justin asked.

"A lot, actually," I answered. "Josh's family is so important to him. What
if they don't take it well?"

"I think they will," Justin said, thinking about it for a moment. "I mean,
I know them pretty well. They'll be a little surprised, probably, but
they're not going to disown him or anything. Was your family ok with it?"

"Not especially, but I'm not very close to them anyway," I said. "They've
always been more interested in my brother than in me."

"I didn't know you had a brother," Justin said, finishing his sandwich.
"You've never mentioned him."

"We're not close," I said. "If I didn't know any better, I'd almost think
he hated me."

"Nobody hates their brother," Justin said, smiling.

"You don't know us Springer kids," I said, smiling ruefully. "All my life,
it's like he's been jealous of me or something, and I don't even know
why. He's the one that could never do anything wrong."

"You talk to him lately?" Justin asked.

"Nope," I answered, finishing my soda. "I talk to him at Christmas. That's
it."

"That's kind of sad," Justin said. "How do your folks feel about it?"

"I don't care," I said simply. "Justin, I don't want to talk about this,
ok?"

"Sure," he said, shrugging. "It looks like we're done. You want to head
back?"

"OK," I said.

We paid on our way out, and I bought a cookie for each of us at the
register. Justin smiled and fawned over it as if it had fallen from the
heavens, until I finally told him to shut up and eat it. When we got back
to the apartment building, we agreed that maybe we'd go out tomorrow night,
since I wasn't really feeling it tonight. As we walked upstairs, I realized
that I hadn't thought about him and Lance for at least an hour or two, and
then I wanted to smack myself in the head for allowing those thoughts to
creep back in.

I wished again that Josh was still here, and wondered again why he hadn't
called. I didn't want to call him yet, because I could imagine him sitting
across from his sister, right in the middle of a deep personal revelation,
at some achingly vulnerable point in the conversation, and suddenly being
interrupted by the ringing of a cell phone.  Frustrated, I sighed, and
looked at the clock. It was late enough that Carla should be home, but not
so late that I couldn't call. She hadn't returned the last two messages I'd
sent her, so I really needed to see what was up.

Her phone rang and rang, and when her answering machine finally picked up,
it beeped about fifty times, which meant she still hadn't checked her
messages.

"Carla, where are you? I'm starting to get kind of worried. Please call my
cell phone."

Where could she be? As if I needed another thing to worry about.

I stripped down to my boxers, brushed my teeth, and settled into bed with
my book. The bed seemed immensely huge with just me in it, and I wondered
if it was possible for furniture to expand while no one was looking. The
telephone ringing interrupted my musings on the flexibility of furniture
dimensions.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hi," Josh said. His voice was warm, and seemed to roll right out of the
phone over me.  "How are you?"

"I miss you," I answered, sinking back into the pillows. "How are you?
How's it going?  Where are you now?"

"Slow down, kiddo," Josh said, laughing. "I'm on my sister's couch. Heather
went to bed about five minutes ago, and I knew that you've probably been
waiting all day for me to call."

"You know me so well," I said.

"I didn't want to call if I didn't have time to talk to you," he said.

"Justin said that, too," I said. "Do you listen to everything I tell you
that closely?"

"Of course I do," he answered. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I said. "So, how is Heather's couch?"

"It's not bad," he said, sighing. "We had a good day, Jack."

"Everything went ok?" I asked. He didn't sound upset.

"Better than ok," Josh answered. I closed my eyes and shut off the
lights. I usually did this when I was on the phone with Josh, because it
helped me picture him.  "Heather picked me up at the airport, and we went
right out to eat. As soon as we were done with dinner, we came back here,
and I sat her down for our talk."

"How did she take it?" I asked. "She didn't put you on the couch because
she's mad at you, did she?"

"She put me on the couch because she only has one bedroom," Josh answered,
laughing.  "The conclusions you jump to. She took it kind of well. She had
a lot of questions, about me, and about the girls I dated when I was
younger, and stuff, but she was pretty good about asking them."

"You think your parents are going to take it well?" I asked, relieved that
she hadn't freaked out. I could hear in Josh's voice that he was feeling a
lot better about all of this.

"We talked about that, too, and about how I should tell them," he
said. "I'm going to tell my mom first, before I tell my dad or
Tyler. Heather and I thought maybe I should make sure she's with me, in
case my dad doesn't take it so well."

"Are you worried that he's not going to?" I asked.

"Actually, not really," Josh answered. "My parents are pretty open
minded. I think as long as they see that I'm happy, they'll be ok with it."

"I wish I was there with you," I sighed. "I mean, I want to support you on
this."

"Jack, you are supporting me," Josh said emphatically. "Just knowing that
you're right there, waiting for me, and that I can come back to you, no
matter what happens, that's all the support I need. This is something I
need to do myself, but I also need to know that you're right behind me."

"If this is what you need, then it's what I want to do," I said
simply. "But if you do need me, all you have to do is call, and I'll be on
the next plane, Josh. As it is, I can't wait for you to come back."

"I can't wait to be back," he said. "I just have to do this first, you
know?"

"I know," I said.

I didn't want to lay a guilt trip on him, but I really wished he were with
me. I wanted to tell him everything, suddenly, just let it all loose, but
didn't want to do it over the phone while he was too far away to do
anything. I know he could have been concerned along with me, but he had
enough to worry about, and, knowing the way he was, he'd want to drop
everything and come back. I couldn't make him do that, because I agreed
with him that he needed to be honest with his family. Everything going on
here would just have to wait.

"Heather had a lot of questions about you," Josh said, snapping me back to
reality.

"What did you tell her?" I asked, curious.

"A string of horrible lies," Josh answered smoothly. "After all, I want her
to like you."

"Jerk," I said, smiling.

"I love you," he said.

"That doesn't make it ok," I said. "But I love you, too."

We talked for another hour or so, but not about anything important. He
talked about the flight, and his sister, and I told him about cleaning the
apartment, and going to dinner with Justin. None of it was very exciting
stuff, and most of the conversation just consisted of us sighing a lot, and
telling each other we loved and missed the other.  Eventually we began to
yawn, and I cut the call short, knowing that once Josh started yawning I
had about two minutes before he was completely unconscious. He promised to
call me tomorrow, and I told him good night, telling him again that I loved
him and that I was here if he needed me.

I set the alarm clock, and went to bed. My last thought, before my head hit
the pillow, was that I wished again that Josh were there.

I woke up sometime in the dark when I felt a hand slide over my chest,
caressing, sliding over my pectorals, brushing past my nipples. I sighed,
caught in the unthinking boundary between being asleep and being fully
awake, and tilted my head back into the pillows as I felt a second hand
join the first, easing gently across me, rubbing, massaging. Fingers began
to pinch my nipple as the other hand slid up my neck, sliding up into my
hair and pulling my head forward.

"Josh?" I sighed, thinking somehow that he had flown back while I was
sleeping.

"Shhhhhhh," he breathed against my neck.

I felt his hair, short and bristly, scraping softly against my chin as he
nuzzled under my neck, kissing, nipping, and sucking. He was worrying over
that spot where he'd left a hickey the night before, and the feeling of him
sucking at the bruise was exquisite, pleasure mixed with just the littlest
bit of discomfort. I felt his tongue and mouth sliding up, over my jawbone,
and then his lips fastened over mine. I thought numbly that Josh had
learned a whole new way to kiss while he was gone, because this wasn't a
big, sloppy Josh kiss. This was a quick, darting tongue kiss, and his lips
felt different, firmer, and his little strip of a beard was gone. The chin
scraping over mine was smooth.

I realized that it wasn't Josh.

I struggled to wake up, but couldn't. I couldn't even open my eyes, and the
hands and mouth sliding over me were setting me on fire. I felt a mouth
clamp down on my nipple, sucking and biting, pressed against it in a tight
circle, as I felt those hands at the waistband of my boxers, tugging them
down. My boxers slid down my legs, and then were gone as a warm, wet tongue
crawled down my abs.

"No," I sighed weakly, writhing back against the mattress as I felt lips
against my cockhead.

"Yes," someone whispered.

I looked up from the pillow, and suddenly managed to open my eyes, just in
time to meet Justin's bright blue ones as he slid smoothly down my cock,
pulling the whole thing into his throat. It was like sliding into hot,
velvety oil, and my hips jerked up involuntarily as I felt his tongue
swirling around my shaft.

"Justin, no," I sighed again.

I didn't sound very convincing, even to myself, as I was almost lost in the
sensations radiating up from my cock. Feeling myself plunge again and again
into his throat, sliding over the sandpaper wetness of his tongue, I
thought that it was the hottest blowjob I had ever received. Still, I
brought my hands to his head, and tried to pull him off, even as I jerked
and thrust beneath him. I tugged at his head, but he seemed attached
somehow, like a leech. I felt something shift, some change in the texture
of what I was feeling, and the eyes that tilted up toward me suddenly
weren't Justin's anymore.

They were Lance's, wide, blue, and wet with tears.

I continued pulling at the sides of his head, and watched as my cock slid
out of his mouth, his lips clinging to it before releasing it to smack
wetly against my stomach.

"It's ok, Jack," Lance said, still crying. "Justin says it's what I want."

He began to lean down toward my cock again, and I slid away from him
backwards, crawling up the bed on my hands, skittering along. The sheets
rustled beneath my fingers, and then crackled and crumpled, and I realized
they weren't fabric anymore.  They were newsprint, page after page of the
stupid gossip column. There were pictures of me and Josh in bed, and me and
Lance, and Justin and Josh and I together, things that had happened, and
things that had never happened. I looked up, and Lance was standing above
me on the bed with a gleaming pair of scissors.

"I have to cut these out now," he said, reaching toward me.

I suddenly felt very unsafe, and turned, trying to get away as he began to
bring the scissors down in a sweeping arc, plunging the flashing blades
toward me. I pushed the papers aside, ripping through them, trying to climb
further up the bed, as I heard him coming closer behind me. Suddenly hands
slid up my chest from behind, the arms crossing over me as the hands
clamped down on my shoulders, and I knew it wasn't Lance anymore. I felt a
hard cock pressing against my ass, and knew it was Justin again.

"No," I said weakly, trying to squirm away.

"It's ok, Jack, I know what you want," Justin breathed against my neck. "I
know what everyone wants."

I screamed as he pushed into me, his cock impossibly huge, splitting me
open, and then I was sitting up in bed, covered in sweat and breathing
hard. My boxers were still on and the bedroom was empty. The sheet was
wrapped around me.

"Jesus," I panted, holding my head in my hands. "Jesus Christ."

I needed to get all of this worked out, before it drove me insane.

***

More to come soon.