Date: Wed, 5 Jul 2000 10:57:06 -0700 (PDT)
From: Nick Moore <author_nm@yahoo.com>
Subject: Kevin & Dustin Chapter 36

Warning: This story contains acts of a sexual nature between Kevin
Richardson and a partly fictional character. In no way is this story real,
if only though. The name has been changed of my character It is not meant
to reflect on Kevin, Nick, or Brian of the Backstreet Boys.

If you are under 18, please leave, if homosexual acts offend you, I ask you
to leave. Or if it is illegal in your town, state, country, etc. I also ask
you to leave. If not, please enjoy.

Some other stories about the Backstreet Boys or N'SYNC you might like to
read are the following: My Night With Howie D. Brian & Justin, Just
Beginning, N'SYNC Love, Nick & Brian, Loving BSB, Boy Meets BSB, Nick &
Adam, Just-JC, Rob & Lance, Devon & Lance, Brian & Cody, Bad Boy B-Rok,
Bangin' B-Rok, Home, The One, Soul Mates, Nick & Justin, N'SYNC Lance & JC,
N'SYNC & The Vamps, The JC Chronicles, Beryl Saga, Questions of Faith,
Crash with Fame, Getting Reacquainted, Separate Lives, Show Me the Meaning,
Don't Wanna Lose, All Grown Up, Escape, Choices, Whispers in the Night,
Kevin & Justin, and many others.


Send all comments to my new e-mail address at author_nm@yahoo.com


Now just to remind you this story is completely fantasy and it is not meant
to be taken for reality. I do not know what the boys are currently doing or
where they are so this story will not be based on what they are actually
doing in the present.

Since I have depicted both Kevin and Brian as gay, I do hope you know that
this is a fantasy, and in no way true. Kevin and Brian are both engaged to
two people they obviously love very much, so I just want to wish them all
the happiness in the world...they deserve it.



So without further wait here is the next installment to Kevin & Dustin.



Oh...one more thing real quick. This part does contain a scene in which
Dustin goes for guidance from a priest. I just wanted to let everyone know
up front, so I wouldn't offend anyone in his or her beliefs and such.



Kevin & Dustin Part 36

By: NM

"All right...lets talk." Brian said shutting the door to his room. "Please
sit." He said while sitting down.

I sat down and looked over to him. "What happened, well almost happened
shouldn't have." I said simply. "Because I love Kevin. And you love
Nick. And neither of us want to hurt them." I explained.

Brian nodded. "I don't want to hurt anyone." He said. "But when I'm with
you..." he began. "When I'm with you the whole world stops." He said
quietly.

`Damn. I hadn't expected that.' I thought.

"But what about Nick?"

"Where do I begin?" Brian huffed. "Things were great at first, but later on
when we would have an argument they would go a lot further and last longer
until one of us apologized to the other." Brian explained. "Like just now
when Nick stormed out." He gave an example. "It was a stupid little
argument about what we wanted to do until the show tonight." He said. "We
always do what he wants to, I wanted to do what I wanted to for once." He
explained.

"And maybe we weren't meant to be together in this sense. Maybe we were
meant to be just friends." He said while a tear fell down his face.

Out of instinct I moved my hand to wipe the tear away. When I did, and
started to pull back Brian grabbed my hand and kept it to his face.

"Brian we shouldn't--," I began.

"I know." He sighed. "But I want to." He pleaded. "And somewhere I think
you do to." He said moving closer to me.

"Brian, what about Kevin and Nick?"

"Lets not worry about everyone else. Just concentrate on the moment. Let
go, and just trust your heart." Brian said poetically.

"Bri, my head says go. And that this is wrong." I said quietly. "But my
heart says yes." I said as tears fell down my cheek.

"What do I do?" I pleaded. "If I'm with one, then the other is hurt. I
don't want either of you to be hurt."

"I don't want anyone to get hurt either. But what happens to us when we get
hurt?"

"We deal." I said quietly. "I'm sorry Bri." I said getting up. "But I
cant." I said heading for the door.

"Dustin wait." Brian said jumping up.

"How many people did you date before you were with Kevin?"

"One. She was my girlfriend for a long time. We split up, but are still
friends." I explained.

"Was there anyone else?"

"No. What are you getting at?"

"I just worry about you. You haven't experienced life yet, and you already
want to spend the rest of it with one person. Your only 18." He said.

"But I love him."

"How do you know? What if you are just having real intense feelings for
Kevin?"

"I know what love is, at least to me." I said. "To me love is where you
wake up thinking about that person and they are the last thought before you
go to sleep. They are always there for you no matter what. You cant go a
day without seeing them." I explained. "And there wasn't a day that went by
that all I did was think about Kevin, and just wish to see him again when
we were apart last year." I said. "Love is where you can talk to that
person about anything." I added.

"So yes Bri, I think I know what love is. And I do love him. And I'm sorry
if that hurts you." I said leaving.

"Have you told Kevin about whats happening between us?" Brian asked boldly.

I froze in my tracks and turned to look at him. He was just standing there,
and I knew when he saw my tear streaked face he regretted it. "Dustin I'm
sorry." He apologized quickly. "I didn't mean for it to--" he began.

"Don't, Bri. Don't do that." I said. I walked down the hall and stopped at
our room. I cleared my face up and grabbed my key from my pocket. I put my
key back in my pocket and went further down the hall to another room.


I knocked on the door. I heard some shuffling in the room and finally the
door opened. "Hey Dustin. Whats going on?" he asked.

"I umm...well I..." I started.

"Have you been crying?" he asked pulling me into his room. "Did Kev do
something? Did you guys have a fight?" he asked.

"No, we didn't fight."

"Then what happened?" he demanded.

"Bri." I said quietly.

"Brian...I don't understand, what happened with Brian?" he asked.

"Something." I said quietly.

"Dustin sit down for a minute." He said heading into the bathroom.

He came back with a glass of water and a washcloth. He took the washcloth
and wiped my face to clear off the tears.

"Here take a drink."

"Thanks Alex." I said taking a sip of the water.

"Now tell me what happened." He said sitting down next to me.

"Well umm, please don't hate me for this, because I hate myself enough for
the whole world for almost letting it happen." I began.

"I'll try." AJ responded.

"Something almost happened between Brian and I." I said looking at the
ground.

"What almost happened?" he asked sitting up fully.

"He almost kissed me." I said wiping away another tear. "Well we almost
kissed." I said more accurately. "And he said that he and Nick were having
some problems, and that he really wanted to be with me." I explained taking
another drink of the water.

"And my head kept telling me no, and to leave. But my heart was saying
yes." I said taking yet another drink. "Dammit Alex, I'm so confused." I
said setting the cup down on the table.

"Who do you want to be with more?"

"I love Kevin more than life itself. He is the reason I wake up everyday
now. There isn't a time anymore where I can envision a life without him." I
said. "But if I'm with Kevin, then Brian is hurt. I don't want either of
them to get hurt." I explained.

"D, I think that you are just real overwhelmed." He spoke his mind. "I mean
you told me Kevin is the first `real' relationship you have had. Other than
Stephanie." He explained. "And you are only 18, and you are already
deciding who you will be with for the rest of your life. You haven't
experienced life like most people do." He voiced his opinion.

"I do think that you and Kevin are perfect for eachother. I haven't seen
Kevin this happy in a long time. He is happy because he is with you." He
said. "Please dont take this the wrong way," he began, "But things moved
awfully fast between the two of you. Maybe faster than they should have."
He explained his words.

"Maybe they did," I said under my breath.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"Nothing...I didn't say anything." I lied.

"Thanks for everything Alex, but I should head back. Kev's probably
worried." I said standing up.

"Your welcome," he said standing as well. "Hey, come here." He said pulling
me into a hug.

"D, some advice...maybe if you look to God, he might have an answer." Alex
said pointing to the sliver cross that adorned my neck.

"Thanks." I said pulling away and leaving his room.

I walked down the hall and back to the room Kevin and I shared. I took my
key and unlocked the door and walked in. Kevin was sitting reading a book.

He noticed me come in, and sat the book down. "Hey." He said.

"Hey." I replied.

Kevin patted to the spot next to him for me to sit down. I moved over to
him and sat. He put his arm around my shoulder and kissed my cheek. "You've
been gone awhile. Everything all right?"

"Ya, I just had to take care of some things." I said.

"Did you get it taken care of?"

"Not quite." I replied.

"I see." He said pulling me closer to him. "Anything I can do to help?" he
offered.

"No thank you."

"Wanna tell me about it?" he asked.

"Not right now." I said. I turned around to face him, "But I will as soon
as I figure it all out. I promise." I said laying my head on his
chest. "This is nice." I whispered.

Kevin gently kissed my head and laid his head ontop of mine. "It is." He
replied quietly. "But we have to get moving soon, we don't wanna be late."
He reminded me.

"You know what, I really don't feel like going tonight." I said.

"Are you feeling all right?" he asked feeling my forehead.

"I feel fine, but um...no offense, I've seen the show before...and well I
would like to finish working that stuff out." I said.

"Hey its ok. I understand that our shows might not be very fun for you." He
agreed.

"No they are fun, but I really want to work this out." I said.

"Its okay, you don't have to explain." Kevin said getting up.

"Ill come to the next show." I said.

"I'll hold you to that." He said.

"Go get ready." I said kissing him gently.

"I'm already ready." He replied.

"So, when do you have to be at the arena?"

"In about an hour." He replied.

"Hmm, what should we do until then?" I asked coyly.

"I can think of a few things." Kevin replied.

"Like what?" I asked rubbing my hands over his back.

"I don't know, like this." He said kissing me passionately.

After a moment, I pulled back. "I like that." I giggled. "Do it again."

He kissed me again, and we moved over to the bed. He laid me down and
proceeded to climb ontop of me. He slowly began to grind into me, while his
hands continued to run down my body, while mine ran across his back.

"This is great." I moaned.

"Ya, it is." He agreed while running his hand across my face.

He gently brought his lips back to mine and initiated another electrifying
kiss between us. He pulled me into a sitting position and began to remove
my shirt.

After my shirt was removed he removed his as well. I ran my hands over his
strong, smooth chest as I leaned in and kissed his neck and then his
shoulder blade. He gently nibbled on my ear causing me to moan in pleasure.

His hands found their way to my pants and began to undo the fastener on my
jeans. I felt the zipper sliding down, and his hands moving down from my
stomach.

"Wait!" I said pulling his hands away.

"What? Whats wrong?" he asked concerned.

"Kev—Kevin please don't take this the wrong way, but...umm...can we
not...make love." I asked looking away.

He took his hand and placed it under my chin, and turned me to look at
him. "Whats wrong?"

"I'm not ready. When I was...When Michael kidnapped me, he umm...well he
umm...well...he." I stumbled. "He was touching me everywhere, and he
removed my clothes, and he had his removed...and he started fondling me." I
said starting to cry.

"I tried to stop him Kev...I swear I did." I cried out. "But I couldn't. He
had me tied and gagged, and I couldn't move or do anything to stop him." I
said collapsing in his arms.

"Please don't hate me." I begged.

"Dustin, I could never hate you for something you couldn't control." Kevin
said hugging me tighter.

A soft knock was heard through the room. "Ill be right back." He said.

He opened the door and the guys were waiting on the other side. "Whats
going on?" he asked.

"We need to leave for the arena." Brian said.

"I'm not going." Kevin stated firmly.

"Why? Whats going on?" Howie asked concerned.

"Its Dustin." He replied.

"Is everything all right?" Nick asked.

"No nothing is right anymore." Kevin said stepping out into the hall and
shutting the door.

"Dustin...he was...that bastard...oh I wanna kill him." Kevin told them
full of anger and rage.

"What happened!" AJ yelled as quietly as possible.

"Michael was...he...molested Dustin." Kevin said slamming a fist on the
wall.

"Oh my god." Brian gasped.

AJ walked past Kevin into our room, while Nick was holding onto Brian, and
Howie was just stunned.

"Dustin...why didn't you tell me?" AJ asked.

"I didn't want to face what happened Alex." I replied quietly.

"Oh D." he said grabbing me in a hug. I soon felt more arms around me and
soon realized that all the guys were here.

"Cuz, you stay with Dustin. We will tell Management you got a flu bug or
something." Brian said.

"Thanks guys." He replied.

"We will be back immediately after the show." Howie spoke for everyone
else.

"Bye guys." Kevin said.

After about on hour of being held by Kevin and him kissing me on the
forehead every once in awhile I turned to face him. "Kev, I need to get to
a church." I said quietly.

"All right I saw one just down the street." He said.

"No, that's a Baptist. I'm Catholic." I explained.

"Well I'm sure we can find one." He said grabbing my shirt and slipping it
back on me.

He put his shoes on and grabbed some jackets while I put my shoes on. We
left a note for the guys taped to the door of our room, and headed down to
the lobby.

We had called for a cab, and it was outside waiting.

"Where to?" the driver asked.

"The nearest Catholic church." Kevin replied.

"You got it." The driver said pulling onto the street.

After about 20 minutes we were standing outside a Catholic church. I walked
in slowly with Kevin, and it was practically empty. I noticed a few nuns
walking down a hall, and one nun was in the front of the church praying.

I walked up to her with Kevin beside me, and she slowly lifted her head up
and looked over to me.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you Sister, but I was wondering if a priest was
around. I need to confess." I told her.

"Yes my child. Please come this way." She said leading me over to a corner
where the Confession box was.

"Here." She said pointing to the area I would enter.

"Thank you Sister." I said.

"Your welcome." She replied.

"Kevin, you can go back if you want. I'm not sure how long I will be." I
said.

"Hey," he said taking my hand in his, "I'll wait for you however long it
takes." He said squeezing my hand, and then releasing it.

"Okay." I said heading into the confession box.

I made the cross over my body, and the priest on the other side, opened the
sliding section so I could speak to him.

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned." I began. "It has been several weeks
since my last confession." I said.

"No one is perfect my child." The priest responded.

"I've meant to, but you see...not too long ago, I was kidnapped. And
missing for several days." I explained.

"Have you recovered?" the priest asked.

"Yes, I think so." I responded.

"Father, I have a problem." I said.

"What is it my child?"

"I'm in love with someone." I said.

"Forgive me child, but that does not sound like a problem." He replied.

"I love him with all my heart and soul. I want to spend the rest of my life
with him." I said. "But, he was the first, and only. This is the first
serious relationship I've been." I explained.

"Go on." He urged.

"Well, umm...something almost happened between me and a friend of his. I
was having a hallucination that my kidnapper was after me again, and I ran
into him. He took me back to his hotel room with him, because I didn't want
to be alone." I said. "He let me stay, and he comforted me...like a friend,
trying to get me to open up, so I wouldn't bottle it all up. And he hugged
me. We looked into eachother's eyes, and I saw into his soul. And then for
a moment, it was as if I could see the atoms and molecules that were
responsible for his being." I explained.

"Go on." He continued.

"We almost kissed, but we didn't." I said.

"Then I went to talk about what happened between us later this evening, and
it almost happened again." I said.

"What almost happened my child?" he asked.

"We talked and he asked me to be with him. My brain said no and to leave,
but my heart was saying yes." I started crying again. "Father, I'm so
confused. I don't want to hurt anyone." I said between tears.

"My child how old are you?" he asked.

"I'm 18." I replied.

"And how old is your lover?" he asked.

"28." I responded.

"That is a significant age difference. How old were you when you were first
intimate with him?" he asked.

"What is the relevance of that?" I asked.

"I'm just trying to get some information, before I give you my opinion." He
said.

"I was 17." I answered truthfully. "But I did it completely of my own free
will. It was completely my choice. He didn't force me into anything." I
said making sure he didn't think I was forced into anything.

"So he was your first serious relationship, and at 18 you have decided you
want to spend your life with this man. Yes?" he asked.

"Ya, I love him." I answered.

"Child, I think things have obviously moved very fast between the two of
you. He was your first relationship, how do you know he is the one you are
to spend your life with?" he asked. "Furthermore, how do you know he feels
the same about you? You say he is 28, maybe he is just using you." He
suggested.

"No, he wouldn't do that." I said firmly.

"Child, I think we both know what you need to do, but you have to have the
courage to do it, on your own decision. You cant let someone make this
decision for you." The priest said.

"What do I have to do?" I asked.

The priest gave me his advice making sure I was fully aware of what he was
saying to me.

"I cant do that." I gasped.

"You need to." He said.

"But Father, I love him." I said.

"I know it will be difficult, but you must. You need to." He advised.

"Very well Father. Thank you for listening to me." I said.

"Your welcome my child." He said shutting the divider.

I almost stumbled out of the confession box, and Kevin walked over. "Hey,
everything go all right?"

"Ya," I lied. "Everything went fine." I said.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

"Yes." I replied. "Lets go back." I said.

We locked pinkie fingers as we walked out of the church and down the
street. Kev hailed a cab, and we got in and headed back to the hotel. This
time I paid the cab fair, and we headed back up to the 12th floor to our
room.

"So, did Confession go all right?"

"As good as one can go, I suppose." I answered.

"Good." He replied. "Well ready to get to bed?" he asked pulling the covers
back.

"Ya, I'm tired." I said.

Kevin slowly took off his shirt and pants and got into bed. "D, are you
coming?" he asked.

"What?"

"Are you coming to bed?" he asked again.

"Oh ya." I replied.

Hesitantly, I removed my shirt and slowly removed my pants. I crawled under
the covers and laid down. I felt Kevin behind me, as he wrapped his arm
around me and pulled me close to his chest.

I was thinking about some of the things the priest said, and slowly started
drifting off to sleep.

"I love you." Kevin whispered.

"I love you." I said starting to cry again for like the hundredth time
today.

"D, are you all right?" he asked.

"I'm fine...I'm just so glad your in my life." I replied. "Goodnight Kev."
I said closing my eyes.

"Goodnight my love." He said kissing my neck and snuggling close to me.


To Be Continued???

Send all comments to author_nm@yahoo.com

I hope you have enjoyed this installment of Kevin & Dustin. I know I had a
wonderful time writing it.

So what is going to happen between Brian and Dustin? Will Nick and Kevin
find out? How did AJ become so involved? What was the advice from the
priest?

I guess you will just have to wait and find out.