Date: Mon, 12 Jul 1999 22:00:42 GMT From: Chuck Moors <stang32@hotmail.com> Subject: KEVIN & JORDAN 10 (celeb) Legal Disclaimer: This story is a total and complete work of fiction. It is nothing but a fantasy I have. It is not intended to imply anything about the sexuality of any of the people written about. In particular Kevin Richardson or Howie D. of the Backstreet Boys, David Boreanez, or any other celebrities mentioned. If homosexual acts between 2 males disturbs you or if you are under 18 or this material is illegal in your city, state, or country then you need to leave. ***** Author's Notes ***** Well, here it is. Chapter 10 of Kevin & Jordan's story. The one where the song is finally revealed. When I started this, I really didn't think it would ever make it this far. But, it did thanks to all of you readers and one very talented person. Before we get to it I need to thank a few people. First of all, Jared, Rick, and Bryan, for the support. Thanks for the encouragement too. Next to Sheldon, Grayson, and Ra4ven, you guys were the only ones to guess which song it is. One other person knew, but more abut that later. And as for which song it is I keep mentioning but never giving the title. Well, it comes from the video "A Night Out with the Backstreet Boys." The song is called Kevin's solo, because he doesn't have a name or lyrics for it yet. It is beautiful. That song is what prompted me to begin this whole thing in the first place. So now you have music to put the lyrics with. And to JM (author of Brian & Justin, and if you haven't read it, what is wrong with you.). He is the one who wrote the lyric's to "In the Deepest Heart". Without him I never would have been able to do this. So thank you so much. It meant a great deal to me that you took the time to write it. You had no idea who I was, and I hadn't even started writing the story yet when I asked you to do that. So thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU. One final note. This is a long chapter. For two reasons. 1st it took me this much time to get everything done that I wanted to do, and to set some things up for future chapters. 2nd I'm taking a little mini vacation and going to Las Vegas for a few days. I need a break from work, and I need to find a man, hehehe. I'll start chapter 11 when I return. So make this on last. Have fun. As usual if you have any comments, questions, or anything you want to see e-mail me at stang32@hotmail.com KEVIN & JORDAN PART 10 Kevin started to write, and Phil looked over his shoulder to see what it was, and only saw one line, it was a title, and it read: "IN THE DEEPEST HEART" * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Phil stood there amazed. The words were flowing out of Kevin. Fifteen minutes later he was done. "Kevin, can I ask you something?" Phil asks, scratching his head. "Uh...sure...what is it?" Kevin answered, looking up for the first time. "What is going on here?" "Well..." Kevin explained to him what he was doing and why. "I'll bring it up to the producers, how is that?" "That's great, Phil. Thanks." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * I walked back in five minutes after their conversation ended, and saw Kevin folding up a piece of paper, and shove it into his pocket. "What's that?" I asked. "Oh...nothing. Just some notes I have to talk to our management about." "Oh...okay," I said, taking him in my arms and giving him a little kiss. "Are you ready to get out of here?" "Sure am. What about Howie?" "I saw him in the hall, and he will be here in five." "Great. I can't wait to see his face when he meets David. "Me too. He's coming over to my house tonight for dinner. So it'll just be the four of us, and no fans getting in the way." "How long have you been planning this?" "Since I got home." Kevin chuckled, "are you always such a matchmaker?" "No. It's only because you're here, and I'm so happy. I want Howie to be as happy as we are." "Me too babe, me too." My world was complete at that moment. I had the job of my dreams, and the man that I loved. Nothing could ruin this. Or so I thought. "Hey, Jordan, can we talk for a minute?" Chad said, barging into my dressing room. Well there goes my complete little world I thought. "Ugh...yeah Chad. What is it?" I asked, as I released Kevin, and turned to face him. "Uh...um...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt." Chad remarked. "What is it Chad? I'm a little busy!" I said defensively. "Nothing important, Jordan. I'll talk to you later." he said and walked out of the room. "Fine. Whatever," I snapped. "What was that all about?" Phil asked. "Nothing Phil. Just drop it. It was nothing." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * `Well. That was interesting. I guess I've been replaced,' Chad thought. `But not for long. I will get him back, and he will be mine again, and we will be happy.' * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Jordan, he's not causing any problems for you is he?" Phil asked. "Phil. I thought I asked you to drop it? But to answer your question, no he isn't. Now, I'm going home and taking my extremely gorgeous boyfriend here, with me. Any questions?" "No. Have fun. I'll talk to you later. Bye." "Bye, Phil, and thanks," Kevin said. "Bye," I said more than a little pissed off by Chad. We walked out of my dressing room and saw Howie in the hall talking to some girl who worked for the show. We grabbed him, and headed towards my car. "Ya' know Howie," I started, "if you're more interested in her, I can tell David to forget it." "What? Are you kidding?" He said nervously. "I was just keeping up the act. Like you don't do the same thing?" "Relax, will you. I'm just playing with you. Besides, if I didn't let you meet him, I think both he and Sarah would kill me." "So would I. For messing with my bro here," Kevin added, wrapping an arm around Howie protectively. "Okay...okay...I give up. Now let's get out of here. I'm done for the day." "And we're off," Howie said, as he started galloping down the hallway. "He's crazy," I commented. "I know. It's from spending so much time with AJ." Kevin explained. "You should see it when Brian gets into the act. Then it's really bad." "I don't think I want to." We got into my car, and headed out into the mid-afternoon traffic of LA LA land. Kevin resting his hand on my thigh the entire trip. When we arrived there was a large bouquet of flowers waiting on my doorstep. I picked them up and headed inside. "Who are they from babe?" Kevin asked. "I don't know yet. Let me look at the card," I answered as I opened it. Here is to getting that Emmy. After today, you are on your way. Robert "Emmy? What's this about an Emmy?" Kevin asked reading over my shoulder. "The director said that he has heard rumors about me being nominated for one this year. But, I don't put much credence into it. I mean, come on. This is only my first year in this business. There are people much more deserving of it than me." "That may be true, but give yourself a little credit. You were fantastic today." Howie said. "Yeah, he's right babe. You were great. Don't doubt yourself like that." "Okay. I won't. But I'm not going to expect anything. If it happens, it happens. Besides the nominations aren't for another month or so. So let's drop it. Please." "All right. Changing the subject. What are we doing for dinner?" Howie asked. "Well, it's only 3:00, so I'm going to go and take a nap for a couple of hours, then I'm going to cook for the four of us," I replied. "You are?" Howie asked surprised. "Yes I am. And I'm damn good at it too." "Well, why don't I come and lay down with you?" Kevin asked, with a puppy dog look on his face. "..." Before I could even start, Howie interrupted. "Wait a minute. You said four. Who is the forth person?" "Didn't I tell you?" "No!" he answered. I grabbed Kevin's hand and started down the hallway towards my bedroom. "David," I answered over my shoulder, and closed the door to my room. "That was mean," Kevin said, as he playfully punched my shoulder.' "I know, but I couldn't resist," I said, as I started to take off my shirt. I finished stripping down to my boxers, as Kevin did the same, and we climbed into bed. Kevin snuggled up behind me and wrapped me in his arms. "Jordan, I just want you to know, that you were incrredible today. Thank you for letting me come and watch," he whispered into my ear. I rolled over to face him, "well, thank you for coming and giving me the inspiration to do such a good job," I said and kissed him. "Kevin, can I ask you something?" "Anything you want." "Does it...does it bother you that we haven't had sex yet?" "What? No, of course not. Jordan, I want to make love to you, not fuck you. If I wanted that, I could get all of it that I wanted from some trick. But, there is no passion in that. No tenderness, no caring, and no love. I want us to do it when it's right for us and not before." "Thank you. Thank you so much." "Now go to sleep, my little star," he said as he lightly kissed my forehead, then he tip of my nose, and finally my lips. God. How could I not love this man, I thought as I drifted off to sleep. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ `Get off of me!!!!!' I yelled. `Come on baby. You know you love it like this,' my assailant said. `No I don't. Stop. Please, stop.' I cried, trying to push him off of me. `Yes you do. Now just relax and enjoy it.' `Get...the...FUCK...off of...me...now Chad!!' ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ "No!!!" I screamed, sitting straight up in bed. "Jordan...honey...what is it?" Kevin asked, coming awake with my screaming. He sat up and put his arms around me. "Nothing Kevin. It was just a bad dream. Don't worry about it," I said my voice a little shaky. "What was it about? It must have been bad for you to scream like that." "I...I don't remember," I lied. Just then, Howie came running into the room. "Is everything okay?" He asked panting. "Yeah, he just had a bad dream," Kevin explained. "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm fine," I said, lying again. There was no way I could let either of them know that Chad had raped me. It was too embarrassing. "If you say so." "I do. Now what time is it?" "It's 5:30," Howie stated. "Good. I needed to get up anyhow. I'm going to jump in the shower and head to the store to get stuff for dinner." "Do you want me to come with you?" Kevin asked. "No, I'll be fine. You stay here with D., and get ready for tonight. I shouldn't be gone that long. Okay?" "Okay. If you say so." "I do," I said as I got up out of bed, and headed towards the bathroom. I turned the shower on, and made the water as hot as I could stand it and climbed in. Why was this happening to me again? Why now was I having these dreams again? I thought I was over this. That I had gotten past what Chad had done to me. The hot water poured over me as I stood there and let all of the pain flow out of me. I was with Kevin now. He wasn't going to hurt me like Chad had. He wasn't going to take something that I would give freely to him by force. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Kevin, are you sure he's all right?" "To tell you the truth D., no I'm not. But I can't force it out of him. But, I can tell you this. It wasn't just some bad dream." "What makes you say that?" "I don't know. It's just a feeling I have." "I hope your wrong buddy." "So do I. I don't want anything to happen to him." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Twenty minutes later I was dressed and ready to go. "Now are you two going to be okay while I'm gone?" "Yes. We'll be fine," Howie answered. "Kevin?" I asked looking at him. "I'll be fine. I've gotta take a shower and stuff, and so does Howie. That should keep us out of trouble while you're gone. Speaking of which. How long are you going to be?" "About half an hour, forty-five minutes." "Okay. Anything you need done then?" "Nope. We can worry about it when I get back." "All right. What time is David supposed to be here?" Howie asked with a grin on his face. "About 8:30, so we have plenty of time. I'm outta here. Be back soon," I said as I grabbed my car keys and headed out the door. "I'll miss you, my little star," Kevin said, stopping me for a kiss before I left. "I'll miss you too Boo." I walked out of the house, jumped in my car, and was off. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Boo, huh? How did he find that one out?" Howie asked. "I don't know. Probably Brian." "I guess. I'm going to jump in the shower. Is that okay?" "Yeah, that's fine. I need to make a couple of phone calls, now that Jordan is gone," Kevin answered, with a gleam in his eye. "For what? Kevin, what are you up to?" "Nothing bad D. Just a way for me to let Jordan know how I really feel about him." "Oh. In other words, to let him know that you're in love with him. Why don't you just tell him?" Howie said, walking to his room. "Geesh. Am I that easy to read?" Kevin asked in disbelief. "Yup," Howie said, and disappeared into his room. `I've got to get myself under control,' Kevin thought, as he picked up the phone and called Phil. Ten minutes later he hung up the phone with Phil, and dialed another number. "Brian, its Kevin. Yeah, everything's great. You should have seen him today, he was incredible. The reason I called is, I need you and Nick out here by next Wednesday." The conversation went on for another ten minutes, as Kevin explained what Jordan had done with the song, and how Kevin finally had found a reason to write the lyrics for it. By the end of the call, Brian had said that he would talk to Nick, and that it shouldn't be a problem for him to talk Nick into going out to LA. He would make the arrangements to get them there on Tuesday. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Like I had said I would, I got back to my house forty-five minutes later. Kevin came out of the house to help me carry the bags in. We walked into the house and into the kitchen. I started putting stuff away, and in walked Howie. My jaw hit the floor. "Well, look at you. You look great," I exclaimed. And he did. He was wearing a pair of black pants, a white tee shirt, and a deep purple button down shirt that was only buttoned half way up from the bottom. He even had his hair down. Which he didn't do that often. "Thanks. I just hope that David likes it." "He will. Don't worry. You could be wearing rags, and he would like it." "Are you ready for this?" I asked. "I'm a little nervous, but other than that I'm fine. You know it's not everyday that you get too meet someone like this." "Look at this way. You're getting to meet him privately. Not like the way that I had to meet Kevin. This is a much better way of doing it." "You're right." "I know I am. Want something to drink to calm you down?" "Sure, how about a glass of wine." "No problem." I went to the fridge, pulled out a bottle of wine, opened it, and poured a glass for all three of us. I handed one to Howie, and walked to the living room to give one to Kevin. "Thanks, babe," Kevin said. "Your welcome. Stay here and relax, and I'm going to go and get dinner started." "Okay. Yell if you need any help." "I will, but I think I'm going to make Howie help me. Or at least keep me company so I can get him to not be so nervous." "Hehe...good luck. He won't stop being like that until it's all over." "Well I can try can't I?" "Yes you can. Good luck." I walked back into the kitchen, and started cooking. Howie and I talked about all sorts of things. His sisters death, his family, my family. The one thing I tried to stay away from was talking about David. That would make him worse. The phone ringing interrupted us. The only problem was it was in the other room where Kevin was, so I yelled for him to answer it for me. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Hello?" "Jordan?" "No Phil. It's Kevin, what's up?' "Good, I wanted to talk to you anyhow. Listen, I just got off of the phone with The Firm. They are all for you, Brian, and Nick making a guest appearance on the show. When are they supposed to be here?" "Well, Brian is going to get them here by Tuesday." "That won't work." "Why not?" Kevin asked confusedly. "Well, the producers want to tape the next scene that Jordan has for this episode, and not the next as originally planned, all thanks to you." "Phil, I'm confused here." "It's simple. The scene that you wanted to be in, that we were going to film next week is going to be filmed this week instead. So that means if you want this you have to get Brian and Nick here tomorrow, Friday morning at the latest, so you can tape in the afternoon," he explained. "Okay, Phil, let me see what I can do. I'm not making any promises here, but I'll try." "All right. Let me know what you find out. Kevin, I want you to know that I'm trying to help you here and not ruin this for you. But, the producers of the show were so impressed with just the music, that when they found out that you had written lyrics for it, they jumped at the chance to use them. They were going to have to use another song for that scene anyhow, and now they don't have to. Also, this will tie both scenes together." "I know Phil, it's just that this is their vacation too. But I'll call them, and I'll let you know what's up. If they say no, then there is nothing I can do." "Give it your best shot." "I will. Bye, Phil. I'll talk to you later." "Bye, Kevin. Oh, and one more thing." "Yeah." "Thanks, for making him so happy. He hasn't been like this in a long time. Too long." "I haven't either Phil, so it's no problem." "Bye." "Bye." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * I walked back into the living room carrying the bottle of wine, to see if Kevin wanted any more, as he was hanging up the phone. "Who was it honey?" "Oh...just Brian. He wanted to see how we were doing." "Oh. That was nice of him. I just came out to see if you wanted some more wine." "Is that the only reason?" "No. I missed you too," I said, as I sat on the couch next to him, and gave him a kiss. "That's what I thought," he said with a slight chuckle. "So how is Howie doing? Still nervous?" "He's doing better now. I think I got him to calm down a little." "Good. You know I'm really glad we're doing this for him." "Me too. I think he's a little jealous of us." "I do too. So it's only been a week for us, but this has been the happiest I've been in a long time," he said as he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Me too Boo. Me too," I replied, just basking in the glow of happiness that he gave to me. We were sitting there about five or ten minutes when Howie came into the room. "Isn't that cute. I really hate to break up this tender moment, but Jordan, I need you in the kitchen." "Uh...yeah, I'm coming," I got up, left the bottle of wine on the coffee table with Kevin, and headed into the kitchen. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Hey D., sit down for a minute." "What's up Kev"?" Howie asked, as he sat down. "Do you think I'm doing the right thing? With the song I mean?" "Yes I do. Kevin, listen. I've known you for six years, and in all that time I've never seen you like this. You're happy for once. You're so happy, you've dropped out of father mode, and you never do that. So yes, you're doing the right thing." "But, don't you think it's a little soon for me to be falling in love with him?" "No. Is there a rule somewhere that says when the right time to fall in love is? No there isn't. We can't control it. It just happens, and when it does, we just have to accept it. Don't fight it. Embrace it." "I just don't want to get hurt again. After what Ryan did, I just don't think I could take it," Kevin said, as his eyes started to tear. "Kevin, he is not Ryan. He's not going to do that to you." "I know he's not. But, how do I know that he feels the same way about me?" "Trust him. And believe me. He feels the same." "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure. Just look at him. Look at the gleam in his eyes. It's the same one that you have. Just because he hasn't said it, doesn't mean he doesn't feel it. He's just waiting for the right time to say it." "Thanks D. And when did you get so smart about these things?" Kevin asked, wiping his eyes. "From watching you take care of the rest of us." They talked for a few more minutes with Kevin explaining what was happening with the show and the moved up schedule. "I've got to call Brian, let him know, and ask him to get here tomorrow instead. They are going to hate me for messing up their vacation." "No. They are not. They may be a bit disappointed, but they'll do it, because it's for you," Howie said, and got up and headed back into the kitchen. Kevin pulled out his cell phone and called Brian. "Hey cuz, it's me again." "Hey Kevin. Listen, I talked to Nick and he thinks it's a great idea. The only thing is we are going to be there tomorrow instead of Tuesday." "What? Why?" "Well, management called, and they want us to do an episode of FANatic for MTV. Since you and D., are already out there, they decided to film it there. So me, Nick and AJ, are flying out tomorrow to film it on Saturday." "Wow. This is just too perfect. I'll call Phil, and let him know. And I'll fax you the lyrics tomorrow before you leave, so that you and Nick have a chance to look at them before you get here." "All right. I have to go. I need to pack. Our flight leaves here at 1:00 tomorrow afternoon. We get to LA about 5:00 tomorrow night." "All right. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye." Kevin quickly called Phil and let him know the good news. `Everything is going to turn out okay,' Kevin thought. `Now all I have to do is keep all of this from Jordan, until Friday.' * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * <Knock> <Knock> <Knock> Jordan opened the front door and there stood David, holding a bottle of wine in one hand and a single purple rose in the other. "Hey David, come in. It's nice to see you again," I said. "You too. Here, this is for you," David replied, handing me a bottle of wine. "Thanks, I guess the rose isn't for me is it?" I asked sarcastically. I knew it wasn't, but I was trying to lighten the mood, besides, purple is not one of my favorite colors. "Funny. You know it's not." "I know. I'm sorry, just trying to have a little fun." We walked into the living room where Kevin was waiting. I introduced them and they shook hands. I told them to make small talk while I went and got Howie from the Kitchen. "Howie, he's here." "I know. Do I have to go out there?" "Yes you do. You know you want to. Now, come one," I said, grabbing his arm and pulling him out the door. "David, this is Howie. Howie, this is David." "Nice to meet you," Howie said nervously. "It's nice to finally meet you too," David replied, and extended his hand to Howie, who in turn took it. "This is for you," David continued, handing the rose to Howie. Scoring major points in doing so. "Well, now that all of the formalities are over with, lets go and eat, because I don't know about you, but I'm starving," Kevin said, laughing, which in turn got the rest of us to laugh. I had Kevin take Howie and David to the dinning room to sit down, and pour the wine. While I went to get the food. When I walked into the dinning room, I noticed that Kevin had them sitting across form each other, so that they would have to look at each other all through dinner. I silently laughed to myself, because he had done just what I would have, if I had been in his position. Plus this way I would be able to stare at Kevin the whole time too. Dinner went well. Kevin and I barely said a word. We just let the other two talk and get to know each other. Everything Kevin and I had to say, we said with our eyes. Once diner was done, I got up and started to clear away dishes, when Kevin stood up saying; "Why don't I help you with these," winking at me. "Sure, thanks. Howie, why don't you and David go into the living room, and we will bring some coffee in there in a little while." "Um...okay, sure," Howie answered, without even looking at me. I just laughed as Kevin and I carried the dishes away. When we got into the kitchen, I was standing in front of the sink, putting dishes in it, when Kevin came up behind me, reached around my waist, put his in the sink, then wrapped me in his arms and kissed my cheek. "Dinner was great babe. And, what you did for those two was great too. Did you see how happy they looked?" "Yeah, I did. Do we look that bad?" "From what D., says, yes we do, but I don't care." "Me either. The rose was a good touch too, don't you think?" "It was. How did he know to get purple though?" "He asked what Howie's favorite color was, so I told him." Kevin and I took out time cleaning up, and making the coffee, so that Howie and David could have some time alone to talk. We also speent some time making out. Wereally hadn't had any time to do that all day. When we finally did make our way out to the living room, all we could see was the two of them making out. Kevin, as politely as he could, cleared his throat. "Oh...hi guys," Howie said as he and David pulled apart. They both had shit-eating grins on their faces. They both knew that they had been caught, but neither of them seemed to care. "Jordan, thanks for dinner. It was fantastic," David said. "Yeah, it sure was," Howie chimed in. "So, I guess what we just saw was desert?" I asked laughing. "Uh...um." they both answered in unison, looking back and forth from me to Kevin. "Guys, don't worry about it," Kevin said, trying to put them at ease. We spent the rest of the night sitting around talking, laughing, and just relaxing. Some time later I looked at the clock and noticed it was 11:30. "Uh guys, I hate to break this up," I started to get up from the couch, "but, I have to work tomorrow, so I'm going to bed." "Wait up babe, I'll come with you," Kevin said, getting up form the couch. "Good night Howie, David," I said. "Good night guys, and don't stay up too late," Kevin added, with a grin. "Night." "Night." Kevin and I made out way down the hall towards the bedroom, when Howie came running up to us. "Jordan, I just wanted to thank you for everything," he said, giving me a hug. "You're welcome Howie. It was my pleasure. I'm just glad you guys are getting along so well. Good night," I replied. We got to the bedroom, and stripped down to our boxers, and climbed into bed. We talked for a few minutes, kissed and made out a little, and I fell asleep in my favorite place: Wrapped in Kevin's arms. "Good night my little star. I love you," Kevin whispered. But I didn't hear him. I was already out. He joined me a few minutes later. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ `Yes you do. Now just relax and enjoy it.' `Get...the...FUCK...off of...me...NOW CHAD!!!' I yelled and brought my hand up and hit him with all of the strength I could muster, knocking him off of me, and I jumped off of the bed. Chad came running at me, knocking me to the floor, jumping on me and straddling my chest. He started pummeling me with his fists. He was yellingand cussing at me. Telling me how lucky I should be to be with him, and how he could have anybody. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ "NO!!!" I screamed. "NO MORE!!!" I sat up in bed with sweat pouring off of me. Why was I having these dreams again? Why? Why? Why? "Honey, are you all right?" Kevin asked, the concern in his voice was evident. I sat there with my head hanging down in my hands. "Huh? Oh, yeah sweetie. I'm fine. It was just a bad dream. Let's go back tosleep," I lied. I hated doing that to him, but I was too afraid I would lose him if he found out the truth. "Are you sure? This is the second one today." "Yes. I'm fine. Really. Let's just go back to sleep. I have to get up in a little while for work." "Okay. Come here for a second," he said, reaching for my face and turning it towards his. "If you need to talk, you know that I'm here. Right?" "Yes, I do. Thanks Boo." "You know, not many people call me that," he said. "Do you not want me to?" "No it's not that. I like it when you do. It's something that only we know about." "Good, because I'm not going to stop," I said laughing. I leaned in and gave Kevin the most passionate kiss I knew how. When I was done, I said. "Kevin, I'm fine, really. Don't worry. It was just a dream. Now let's go back to sleep." "Okay if you say so." I fell back to sleep and had nothing but good dreams until the alarm went off at 5:30. I got up, left Kevin sleeping and headed into the shower. Again I let the water wash away all of the pain. After showering, getting dressed, and drinking way too much coffee, I fed Diva, and left the house for the studio. I had some extra time when I got there, so I headed for the soundstage next to ours in search of someone. Coming across the door I was looking for, I knocked and was told to come in. "Morning Jordan. Are you okay? You don't look so hot," Sarah asked. "They're coming again," I said. "What's coming again?" "The dreams. They are starting all over again, and I don't know why. It's scaring the hell out of me. Not to mention Kevin." "Does he know what they are about?' "NO! I can't tell him. He'll leave me." "What? Jordan, are you crazy? He's not going to leave you for something that's not your fault. You did nothing wrong." "I know that. But, it's just...it's too embarrassing. I don't want Kevin to think he's getting someone tainted." "Will you stop it. He's not going to think that." "I hope you're right, because I don't think I could take it." "Jordan, just relax. Everything is going to be fine. Now, I'd love to stay and talk some more, but I need to go. Are you going to be okay?" "Yeah. I'm fine. Thanks Sarah, I appreciate it." "Your welcome," she said, giving me a hug. "Oh, and by the way." "Yeah." "Good job with David and Howie. He won't stop talking about it." We walked out of her dressing room. She to the set and me back to my soundstage. I was starting to fell a little better. I just hoped that she was right. I went through the rest of the day not thinking about the dreams, but about Kevin. He had called around 1:00, and said he and Howie were going out for awhile, and that they would see me back at my house later on in the day. By 8:00 that night, I was still at work, and with the way things were going, I wasn't going to get out of there until at least 10:00. I thought I had done all of my scenes, but the director wanted to change some things to fit better with the death scene we had finished yesterday. I called Kevin, and told him and Howie to go ahead and get something to eat without me, and I would see him when I got home. I also apologized to him for not being there. He understood. "Hey Boo." "Yes my little star." "I miss you." "I miss you too. Do good work." "Okay. I'll see you later, and I'll call before I leave. Bye." "Bye." I hung up the phone and headed back to work. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Well guys, Jordan's going to be hung up at the studio for a while longer, so we can really get this down. If you don't mind," Kevin said. "Kevin, I'm going to say this once, and we're not going to bring this up again, so listen to me," Brian started, looking to all of the rest of the guys for confirmation before continuing. He got the looks he needed from each of them and continued. "Yes we are a little disappointed bout being here, and giving up part of our vacation. But, we know why we are here, and it's not for MTV. We are here for you. You have always done everything you can for us, now it's our turn to do something for you. So, we are doing it. And we are not taking no for an answer. Besides we're already here, and the interview for MTV is set up. So we can't change it. But, the important thing is, we want to help you, and we are. End of story. Do you understand?" Brian finished. "Yes I do. I.I don't know what to say." AJ spoke up this time. "Man, you don't have to say anything. Just let us do this for you. Besides, Bri, and Nick's girls understand, and this is their way of helping too. By letting them be here." "Then let's go through this one more time, and call it a night. You guys have got to be tired. And, I want to have made Jordan something to eat by the time he gets home," Kevin said. Kevin, Nick, and Brian, ran through the song one more time, and considering it as close to perfect as they could get it, quit for the night. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * I finally got home around 10:30. I was exhausted. Kevin had cooked dinner for me, and had it and a glass of wine waiting for me when I walked in the door. "Oh...Boo, this was so nice of you. You didn't have to." "I know, but I wanted to." "Well, thank you. I'm sorry I wasn't here. I really feel bad about leaving you and Howie here all day. Speaking of which, where is he?" "Do you need to ask?" "Let me guess. With David?" "Yup." We sat and ate and talked for an hour or so. Then called it a night. We cleaned up our mess from dinner and headed towards the bedroom. Along the way I stopped to make sure the front door was unlocked, just incase Howie decided to come home. "Hey Kev," I said as we were climbing into bed. "Yes gorgeous," he replied. "I don't have to be into the studio until 11:00 tomorrow, so that means I can sleep a little late with you in the morning." "I like that idea." "So do I. Now come here." We cuddled up together and made out for a while before we both fell asleep. That night I slept without dreaming about the rape or Chad. We awoke the next morning with the sun streaming in the window and Diva licking both of us on our faces. I picked her up and put her on the floor. "Well, I guess she likes you," I said laughing a little and giving him a kiss. "I guess she does. I just hope that Quincy likes you as much." I got up and went to the kitchen to make coffee. Kevin came in a few minutes later and said. "Well, I looked in Howie's room, and he was there, but I have no idea what time he got back last night." "Neither do I. I never heard him come in." "Hey babe, why are you working today? I thought you had the day off." "I did too. But they wanted to add another scene to this episode. They said that it wasn't supposed to be filmed until the next episode, but after the job I did the other day with Alicia, they wanted to move this one up to this episode. It's supposed to be a closure thing for my character." "Oh...sounds interesting," Kevin said, trying not to laugh or give away the secret. "Your going to be there, right?" "Babe, I wish I could be, but I got a call from our management yesterday, and they need to see me and Howie for a little while today," he lied again. "Oh...okay. Well you'll be here when I get home, right?" "Sure will. What do you say, we go out to dinner tonight? Some place really nice. We can ask Howie and David to go with us." "Sure. I like that idea. And I know just the place for us to go. It's nice and romantic." "Cool. I'll tell Howie when he gets up, and have him talk to David." "Okay. I'm going to go and jump in the shower, and get ready to go," I said as I gave him a kiss, and walked out of the kitchen. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ***** On the set of "On Our Own" ***** The set is of a small club. Looking around the room there is a small stage along one wall, with a baby grand piano next to it. In the center of the room, is a dance floor, surrounded by tables and chairs with people sitting at them. Along the wall opposite the stage is the bar. It is at the bar where we see Christopher (Jordan) sitting with his brother Derek (Chad). Derek is trying to make Christopher feel better about Lindsey's (Alicia) death. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * I can't believe I have to sit here with this asshole. I think to myself. Why did Phil have to get him this damn job? I'll just have to do my best, and hope everything comes out all right. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Christopher and Derek are talking about Lindsey when he hears someone warming up at the piano. He doesn't turn around, but continues talking to Derek. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Five minutes later, I hear familiar music coming from the piano. It is the same music heard when I was in the hospital room and Lindsey was dying. The intro to the song was unusually long this time, but I thought nothing of it. I just sat there and continued the scene with Chad like nothing was wrong. I really didn't pay attention to the music until I heard a voice singing: [Intro] Sometimes, even when you're alone There's still someone loving you And I know. It's in the deepest heart It was Kevin. Oh my God. It was Kevin's voice, there was no mistaking it, and there were words to this song. I spun around on the stool I was sitting on to see what the hell was going on, and there sitting at the piano was Kevin. Brian and Nick were standing along the side of the piano behind mic's that were on stands. I just stared at him in disbelief and he continued: [Kevin] Somewhere in an ocean of people There waits a lonely heart Crying out for the tender care That you only find in love And with one prayer to the Heavens above Along comes the one to mend that broken heart Chorus In the deepest heart lies a secret That no one else could know Waiting for that special moment To reveal it's love Cause only in the deepest hearts A romance can be found With time and lasting patience Your love will come around [Kevin] Standing on the edge of the world You'll find a lonely heart Reaching out for the gentle words To sooth the pain of loss And with one prayer to the Heavens above Along comes the one to mend that broken heart Chorus In the deepest heart lies a secret That no one else could know Waiting for that special moment To reveal it's love Cause only in the deepest hearts A romance can be found With time and lasting patience Your love will come around Bridge In the deepest heart of a lost soul The secret still remains Holding on to memories That this world can't explain But love can change [Brian] Somewhere in an ocean of people There waits a lonely heart Crying out for the tender care That you only find in love And with one prayer to the Heavens above Along comes the one to mend that broken heart Only in the deepest heart Only in the deepest heart Chorus In the deepest heart lies a secret That no one else could know Waiting for that special moment To reveal it's love Cause only in the deepest hearts A romance can be found With time and lasting patience Your love will come around Bridge In the deepest heart of a lost soul The secret still remains Holding onto memories That this world can't explain But love can change [Nick] In the deepest heart of a lost soul The secret still remains [Kevin] Holding onto memories That this world can't explain But only love can change In the deepest heart In the deepest heart And with one prayer to the Heavens above Along comes the one to mend that broken heart For you. The extras started applauding the guys, and I just sat there with my jaw on the ground, and tears streaming down my face that I couldn't stop. I knew at that moment, that he loved me. He really did love me, and this was his way of telling me. Then I noticed the tear running down his cheek. I heard the director yell "CUT. That was fantastic everybody. We're going to use that one. There will be no retake on this. We could never get it more perfect than that." I couldn't move. I was glued to my seat. The man of my dreams was sitting not twenty feet from me, and had just proclaimed his love for me in front of all of these people. None of which had any idea of what the song was really about. They just thought it was relating to mine and Alicia's characters. Kevin got up from the piano and started to walk towards me. "Everyone is free to go. We're done for the day. And Kevin," Robert said. "Yeah." "Great job." "Thanks." "Jordan, can I see you for a minute?" "Uh...sure," I answered, wiping the tears from my eyes, and looking at Kevin. He mouthed the word "go" to me. I walked to where Robert was and asked him what he needed. I didn't want to be there. I wanted, needed to be with Kevin. "Jordan, listen to me, because I don't say this very often. What I said the other day about the Emmy nod, I meant. And after today's performance, you are a shoo in. There is no way they could ignore you after they see this. You were fantastic." "Thanks Robert. Thanks a lot." "You did the work Jordan, not me. Now go and enjoy your weekend." "I will. Thanks, Robert." I made my way back out to the set only to find it empty. My heart sank. Where was Kevin? So I went to my dressing room. I walked in the door and there they stood. Brian, Nick, AJ, David with his arms around Howie, Phil, Sarah, Chad, and then there was Kevin. My Kevin. I had never seen the rest of them on the set; they must have been hiding. They all started clapping, and I blushed. Kevin made his way to where I stood and stopped in front of me. "Jordan, are you all right?" He asked. "Oh my God Kevin. It was beautiful. It...it was about us...and it was so beautiful. I...I...I..." I tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come. Kevin put a finger to my lips to quiet me. "You don't have to say anything. It's okay," he said as he started crying too. I put my hands on the side of his face, and pulled it towards me, and kissed him. When our lips met it was like the first kiss we had all over again. I could feel his tongue pushing to enter my mouth, so I opened it and let him in. We stood there, out tongues wrestling for five minutes, our arms wrapped around each other. We broke our kiss, and I looked him right in the eyes. "I love you Boo." "I love you too, my little star," he replied, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Chad storm out of the room, and I didn't care. Kevin pulled me into another kiss, and I was in heaven. TO BE CONTINUED ***** Well there it is. I hope everyone liked it. I know that I like the direction things are going I hope you do too. And, if you liked the song lyrics, please let JM know. He deserves all the credit.