Date: Wed, 19 May 1999 18:35:05 GMT
From: Chuck Moors <stang32@hotmail.com>
Subject: Kevin & Jordan 3-4 (celeb)

Legal Disclaimer: This story is a total and complete work of fiction.  It
is nothing but a fantasy I have.  It is not intended to imply anything
about the sexuality of any of the people written about.  In particular
Kevin Richardson or Howie D. of the Backstreet Boys, or any other
celebrities mentioned.  If homosexual acts between 2 males disturbs you or
if you are under 18 or this material is illegal in your city, state, or
country then you need to leave.

Comments are welcome at stang32@hotmail.com


*****Authors Note*****
Here is the next part of the story.  I hope everyone is enjoying it so far.

--------------------

KEVIN & JORDAN


PART 3

	We walked out of the green room and headed towards the guys' limo.

	Once we got there, we all got in.  Unfortunately, I didn't get to
sit next to him, but at least I could look at him.

	"So, Jordan, how much longer are you going to be in Chicago?"  Nick
asked.

	Kevin cut him a glance that seemed to say shut-up.

	"Well, today is Wednesday.  I'm here the rest of today and
tomorrow, then I leave for LA on Friday afternoon.  I have the weekend off,
then back to shooting the show on Monday.  Why do you ask?"

	"Oh, just curious," he replied with a little grin on his face.

	"Your lucky you get that much time off," Howie said.

	"Why?"
	
	"Well, most of the time, we are only in a city for one night to do
a show.  Then we leave for the next morning," This came from Brian.

	"It gets real old sometimes," Kevin added.

	I just looked at him and smiled.

	"I guess it does.  But, you have to admit it has to be somewhat fun
with everything you get to see.  Right?"  I said.

	"Yeah, it can be fun, but sometimes you just want to be able to
spend a little time somewhere and be a regular person," AJ said.

	"But you know just as well as I do how hard it is to be a regular
person in this business, AJ" I said.

	What happened next surprised me.

	"Never mind trying to be a regular person," Kevin suddenly gushed.
"Do you know what it's like trying to have a relationship with anyone in
this business?  All people want you for is what you are...not who you are.
I mean, God forbid you actually meet someone and want to start a
relationship with them!  When was the last time you met someone you thought
you could have a relationship with, only to find out that it's not going to
work.  Whether it be your job, or his job...I mean her job, or something
else."  His eyes were actually starting to tear.

	Did he just say what I thought he said?  Did he say "His job" but
then correct himself?  Before I could say anything, Brian jumped in.

	"Kevin, man, calm down.  It's all right."

	"No, it's not.  When was the last time any of us had a real
relationship?  I know for me it was when me and..."

	"Kevin, I don't think that this is the time or place for us to be
discussing this."  Brian said, interrupting his cousin.

	"What?  Oh yeah, I guess your right Bri.  I'm sorry about that
Jordan.  I didn't mean to drag you into our problems.  I'm sure you have
enough of your own."  Kevin said wiping away a tear.

	"It's no problem.  Really.  I know how you feel.  Trust me."  I
said lying, since I hadn't really been with anybody since I got to LA a
year ago.  I mean, I had dates with some of the actresses in town, but they
were all for show.  None of them knew I was gay.  But, nothing ever
happened either.  Phil and I had decided right away for me to be seen with
as many girls as possible.  That way, no one could say anything about my
sexuality.  But, Phil also knew that the day would come when I would meet
someone.  It just hadn't happened yet.

	"So guys, when do you leave?"  I asked, trying to change the
subject.

	"Well, believe it or not, we're not leaving until Friday either,"
Howie replied.

"Maybe we could all hang out till then.  Since we're all going to be here
anyhow."

	"Sounds like a plan to me," I said, as I looked to Howie, but out
of the corner of my eye, I saw Kevin smile for the first time since we got
into the limo.

	I wanted to say something to Kevin, but never got the chance to.
At that moment, we arrived at the restaurant.

	We all got out of the limo and headed in.  We were seated right
away.  The waiter came over, took our drink orders, and left us to look
over the menus.  We all made small talk while we looked them over.

	I sat there looking at Kevin, thinking about what he had said in
the limo.  I know he had said `his job'.  But, I also heard him correct
himself.  Maybe it was a slip.  But, then again maybe it wasn't.  Deep in
my heart I hoped that he was gay, but I knew better.  He was a member of
one of the biggest boy bands of all time.  How could he be gay?  But he had
been acting weird around me since we met.  I finally decided to just forget
it and worry about having a good time.  It was my birthday after all.  And
here I was eating with the Backstreet Boys.  The only way this day could
get any better was if Kevin came to me and professed his love.  Fat chance
of that happening.  Just enjoy yourself, I thought, and take everything for
what it's worth.  If nothing else happens, I'll at least get five new
friends out of it.

	I looked over the top of my menu right at Kevin.  He looked so
cute.  I couldn't take my eyes off of him.  I knew I had to, but something
wouldn't let me.  At that moment, he looked at me and smiled.  Our eyes met
and I knew that there was something there.  I just couldn't tell what it
was.  I couldn't take it any more and decided to do something about it.

	The waiter came back, took our orders for lunch, and left us alone
again.

	"Will you guys excuse me for a minute?  I need to go to the
bathroom," I said.

	"Oh...sure...no problem," they all replied in one way or another.

	I got up and walked to the bathroom.  I was in there fixing my
hair, when I heard the door open.  I turned and looked and there was Brian.

	"Hey Brian...how are you?"  I asked.

	"Well, to be honest with you, probably better than you are," he
answered.

	"What is that supposed to mean?"  I asked, as I zipped up my pants.

	"Well, for on thing, you seem kind of distracted.  And for another
thing, you keep looking at Kevin and every time you do, you get a smile on
your face.  Now if I didn't know better, I would think that you were
attracted to him," he said.

	I stood there shocked, not knowing how to answer him.  I recovered
enough to blurt out.

	"Come on.  You're kidding right?"

	"No, I'm not.  You look at him the same way he looks at you," he
answered me.

	It was now or never.

	"Brian, I'm going to ask you something and I need a straight answer
from you," I said

	"Well, I'll do my best," he answered.
	
	"OK...here goes.  Brian...I'm gay...and ever since I saw your first
video, I have had this thing for Kevin.  I can't get him out of my head.
Don't ask me to explain it, because I can't.  All I know is that he does
something to me that I can't explain," I said.

	"Jordan, if your asking me if." he started.

	"Brian, please let me finish." I interrupted him.

	"OK...I'm sorry.  Continue," he said.

	"Like I said.  He does something to me that I can't explain.  But,
without getting into too much detail.  I fantasize about him and me being
together...  What it would be like...if I could make him happy...I mean,
really happy...stuff like that.  So I guess what I'm trying to ask you
is...is...is Kevin gay?  Because I get the feeling that he is...but it
might just be my head fucking with me."  I blurted out.

	"Jordan, I wish I could give you the answer you want, but I think
that, this is something that you need to talk to Kevin about."  He had
started to tell me something but he backed off.  I felt like my world was
collapsing in on me.

	"But," he continued, "if you are honest with him and tell him
everything you just told me, I know he'll be cool with it at least"

	"OK...I will, but Brian, I have one favor to ask you," I said.

	"What is it?"  He replied.

	"Please don't tell him what we were talking about in here.  I want
to get the answer from him without him already knowing what I'm going to
ask."

	"Fair enough," he said, and with that he gave me a hug adding,
"Give him a chance, he might just surprise you," he smiled and walked out
ahead of me.

	Now that that was out of the way, I walked out of the bathroom and
back to the table.

	"So, Jordan, did everything come out all right?"  AJ asked.

	"Well, if you must know, I asked Brian to marry me in there," I
started, "and he actually said yes."

	Everyone started laughing...except for Kevin.  I knew right then
that I had crossed the line and immediately regretted it.

	I sat down and just looked at Brian with a questioning look on my
face.  I didn't know what I should say to Kevin, when Brian mouthed to me
"talk to him!"

	"Kevin," I blurted, "can we go and talk for a minute?"  Please let
him say yes, I thought.

	"Yeah, we can...let's go," he said.

	We got up and walked back by the bathrooms.  Once we got there, I
just looked at him, not knowing what to say.  Finally, I found the strgenth
in myself and started.

	"Kevin look...I'm sorry about the comment about Brian...I was
nervous and didn't know what to say," I admitted.

	"It's ok...I understand," he said.

	"No you don't," I blurted out, "You have no reason to know why I
said that and I don't expect you too," I finished.

	"Yes, I do understand and I think that I have a way to let you know
just how much I do understand," he said grinning.

	With that, he started walking towards me.

	At that moment, Nick walked in and said, "Hey guys, the food is
here.  Let's eat."

	"Oh...ok...we're coming...right Kevin?"  I said.

	"Yeah...we're coming," he replied, with a big look of
disappointment on his face.

	Nick walked away and Kevin and I just looked at each other.  I
shrugged my shoulders.  He did the same and I just dropped my head.

	Then the unexpected happened:

	"Jordan, can we finish this later?" he asked.

	"Um...sure...I don't see why not."  I said.

	"Good.  I have some things I want to tell you but I thing that it
would be best if we were alone when I told you," he finished.

	"Yeah...I think your right."  I answered him.

	We walked back out to the table and sat down to eat our lunch.

	The next thing I know, I felt a foot rubbing against mine under the
table.  I looked at Kevin and he just smiled.  I couldn't help smiling
back.

	I kept thinking about what it was that Kevin wanted to say to me.
Brian's words kept running through my mind, though, and I got the felling
things might just go all right.


PART 4

	We ate our lunch, making idle chit chat.  Kevin and I were just
going along with what everyone else was saying.

	When we finished, we all got up and walked back out to the waiting
limo.  As we were walking out the door, Howie pulled me aside and said,

	"Jordan, just tell him how you feel.  Everything will be ok...trust
me."

	"Howie, what are you trying to tell me?"  I asked

	"Nothing, except be yourself with him," he replied.

	"Are you saying what I think you saying?"  I said.

	"I'm not saying anything...except be honest with him," he answered.

	"I guess that means you know, don't you?"  I said.

	"What?  That you're gay?  Yes I do, but there is only one way that
I could know that," he said smiling.

	I stared at him "You're gay too?"  I whispered, stunned.

	"Yes, I am.  The rest of the guys know and they accept it and
support me.  They are the best friends a person could have," he said.

	I just looked at him in disbelief.  I was getting ready to ask him
something, but never got the chance.

	"Before you even ask what's on your mind, don't.  Because I won't
answer you.  It's not my place to.  All I can say is that even though we
just met you, you need to know that you will get all of the support from us
that we can give."

	"Thank you Howie.  I...I...don't know what else to say," I mumbled.

	"Don't worry about it.  If it makes you feel any better, we've all
been in that situation, in one way or another."  He said.

	"Come on, you guys, we're waiting for you," AJ yelled at us.

	"We're coming," we said together.

	We walked to the limo, and everyone was inside except for AJ.  He
looked at me and said,

	"You ok?"

	"Yeah I think so," I answered him.

	"Good.  Now get in," he said, pushing me in.

	Once we were all in the limo, it pulled away from the curb.  I just
sat there not knowing what to say.  Again.  When broke the silence.

	"So, what do we do now?"

	"Well, I hate to break this up, but I'm exhausted and I think maybe
I should go back to my hotel and get some rest," I said.

	"Oh...are you sure you have to go?"  Kevin asked.

	Nobody else said anything.  They just looked from him to me like a
tennis match.

	"Yeah, I think I should.  But why don't we get together tonight and
do something?"  I said.

	"Works for me.  I could take a nap and feel a hell of a lot
better," Nick said.

	"Me, too," Brian chimed in.

	"Yeah...sounds good," AJ said.

	"I don't see why not," Howie added.

	"Sure...I'm actually kind of tired myself.  But we're going to do
something tonight, Right?"  Kevin said.

	"Of course," Howie, Nick and AJ said together.  All of them
grinning like a cat that just ate a mouse.

	"OK...why don't we do this?  It's 3:30 now.  Why don't you guys
call me at 8:00?  Then we can figure out something to do.  That way, we can
all get some rest.  How does that sound?"  I asked, looking directly at
Kevin smiling.

	"It sounds good to me," said Brian.

	"Me, too," said Nick and AJ at once.

	"Sounds like a plan to me," said Howie.

	We rode for about another 5 minutes, until we got to my hotel.  We
pulled up in the front of it and I started to get out.  Out of the corner
of my eye I saw Howie was push Kevin to get out with me and say something.
He did.

	"Jordan, I...uh..." he stammered.

	"Yeah Kevin?"  I said smiling, leaving the next step up to him for
once.

	"Before we all go out together, do you think that you and I can get
together and talk?"

	"Yes, we can.  I think we need to," I told him.

	"OK...what room are you in?"  He asked.  Then quickly added, "So I
can call you."

	I checked the number on my key and showed it to him and gave him my
cell number, just in case.  Then I did something I never thought I would
do.  I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, saying goodbye and that I'd
talk to him later.  I ran into the hotel lobby as fast as I could.

	He just watched me go and I heard him say goodbye to the air, as he
climbed back into the limo.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

	"Cuz, are you OK?"  Asked Brian.

	"I...I...think so...he just kissed me."

	"Well that's what you wanted right?"  Asked Nick.

	"Yeah, it is.  But I didn't think that it would happen.  I mean,
it's not like I've been the most approachable person in the world today.  I
never thought that he would like me that way.  I thought maybe that he was
gay, but..." Kevin said

	"Come on...we all knew by the way he looked at you and by the way
he acted around you.  How could you not tell?"  Howie asked.

	"I don't know.  I guess I just wasn't paying that much attention to
the way he was acting," Kevin said.

	"BULL SHIT!!"  The other four guys said at once.

	"You were so obvious, it's not even funny..." AJ said.

	"What do you mean?"  Kevin asked.

	"Kevin, we love you, but we've never seen you like this," Nick
finished AJ's thought.

	"Let's face it, Kevin, you are always everyone else's father figure
and you take care of everyone else, but you never look out for yourself.
Well, now it's our turn to look out after you.  So, no matter what it
takes, we are going to get you two together," Howie said, with the other
guys nodding in agreement.

	"Thanks, guys.  I really appreciate it," Kevin said as he wiped
away a tear.

	"Don't mention it, Kev.  I have a feeling that everything is going
to work out the way you want it to," Howie said.

	"Howie, what is that supposed to mean?"  Kevin asked.

	"Well, let's just say that...never mind," Howie answered.

	"No!  Not never mind, tell me.  You guys know something.  Now tell
me!"  Kevin demanded.

	"Kevin, I'm going to tell you what I already told him.  It's not my
place to speak for you.  You need to trust Jordan and be honest about how
you feel," Howie said.

	Now it was Brian's turn to jump in.

	"Cuz, you know we all support you no matter what you do, We all
know how you feel towards him; we can see it in your face.  Now the only
question is, what are you going to do about it?"