Date: Fri, 11 Feb 2000 17:48:30 GMT
From: Scotty T <thepoetboy@hotmail.com>
Subject: Lance-In-Shining-Armour-35-37

Here we go.  The next installment is set to be the last.  Keep that in mind,
and don't say I didn't warn you. :)  This installment treads back into
darker territory, and is a direct lead to the end of the story.  I'm giving
this warning since not everyone was completely happy with the last
installment which revealed something about the future of David and James.

Don't read this if you're underage in your country, if you'll threaten my
life if the story doesn't go the way you want it to, or if you still wear
velcro.

This story isn't based on the real NSYNC -- these guys are figments of my
imagination built up on some pictures of the group and some loose facts that
I've found since the story began.  To my knowledge, all of the members of
NSYNC are straight.  Until I hear it from their mouths, that's what I
believe.  After all, it's really none of my business.

I have no wordprocessor on my computer -- I'm still building up my system
(at least the modem works now!) -- so spelling and grammar errors are all my
fault.

Just assume spelling errors are a result of that wacky Canadian spelling.

I love to get email.  Like the story, hate the story, love velcro?  Email
me.  thepoetboy@hotmail.com.  I'm happy to report that none of you guys and
gals have been wacky enough to try to email the stalker -- at least you
people are sane. :)

Enjoy!

***

Part 35

"Hero."  The same word still wandered around my head.  Hero, but not much of
one.  I saved that little girl, but, if I'd taken any time to think about
it, I would probably chickened out.  It was only because it had happened so
quickly -- because I acted on an impulse instead of thinking it through --
that she survived.
	A true hero would have decided to save her, would have been confident in
his actions even after the villain had fallen, while hero blood was soaking
the sidewalk.  He would have gone to the girl and held her until the police
showed up -- he wouldn't have been unconscious in the gutter.
	What if my shots hadn't been as lucky?  What if I'd fallen unconscious in
the gutter, and Derrick had found the strength to stand up -- had found the
gun?  The girl and I would have both been dead.
	And there was another troubling word.  "Lucky."  Hero's aren't lucky --
they are quick witted, resourceful, talented.  A hero would have taken
Derrick down with one shot, he wouldn't have had to fire again and again and

***

It was dark.  I could hear the nurses in the hallway, on the other side of
my locked door.  James was beside me, sleeping a shallow sleep.
	He was scared.  That much I knew.  He wasn't used to this sort of
attention, the anti-NSYNC sentiment turned dangerous.
	And I was terrified.  Terrified and helpless.  There was nothing I could do
to protect him, me with my injury.  If someone confronted him, I wouldn't be
able to even swing a punch.  Or run for help.

	I started crying, hero tears.  Heros didn't cry.  They died.  They did what
was needed, and then they slipped away.  I'd done what I was needed to do.
	I reached out for my pills and popped two painkillers, swallowing without
water.  Then I gently pulled James' arm, sliding his hand up my side and
away from my wound where it had rested like a new skin, protecting me in his
sleep.

	All I wanted was for it to be morning.  For James to wake up, smile and
lead me out of the hospital.  Lead me to pancakes and to an airplane, to
take me far away, away from family, away from email, away from danger.
	But there would be no leaving Calgary.  NSYNC was set to be here for
several more days.  The guys had obligations.  Charities and press
conferences and two more concerts.

	I watched James sleep.  His eyes would wrinkle, his eyebrows pulled
together.  His mouth formed into a grimace.  But I let him sleep. Whatever
he was dreaming was a fiction, a false reality, one that couldn't hurt him,
or frighten him, as much as the waking world.  For now he was better off in
an illusion.

	Later, when his hands started to fist, when his breathing became ragged and
he seemed to be growling in his sleep, I woke him.
	"James, you're safe."
	His green eyes stared out at nothing, eventually focusing on me.
	"You're still here."
	I forced a smile.  "Of course I am."
	He squeezed me and lay his head on my shoulder.
	"You're not going back to Toronto," he whispered.
	"Not until this is all finished, no."  I stroked his hair with one hand and
traced his jawline with the other.
	"I want you with me.  All the time."
	I kissed the top of his head and let his wish hang in the air.  I didn't
want to ever be away from him anyway, not if there was no guarantee I'd ever
see him again.

***

	The phone started ringing around four am.  James and I were both still wide
awake, having spent the last several hours being suffocated by the silence.
	"Hello?"  I'd been the one within reach of the phone.
	"David?"
	I didn't recognise the voice.
	"Yeah."
	There was a long pause.
	"Can I speak to Lance?"
	"Can I ask who's calling?"
	"I want to talk to Lance."  The voice sounded sad, but was laced with
anger.
	"He's not here."
	James was watching me with wide eyes, resting on his elbow.  He reached out
the other hand for the phone, but I shook my head.
	"I don't believe you, David."
	"Try calling back."  I forced myself to stay calm.
	"I saw him go into the building, and I never saw him come out."
	I shivered.  James rested one of his hands on my chest, over my heart.
	"Can I get your name?  I'll tell him you called."
	There was a pause, and then a click as the caller hung up.  I turned to
look at James, the phone still held to my ear.
	"We're getting out of here now."
	James nodded and slid off the bed.

***

The hotel was on nightshift, so the halls were empty.  James called the
hotel from a pay phone near the cafeteria.  Justin answered.  I could hear
his voice from where I was leaning against the wall, looking up and down the
hall nervously.
	"Justin," James whispered loudly, "we need you to send a car to the
hospital immediately.  The back of the hospital.  The emergency room exit."
	"What's wrong, Scoop?" Justin said, still obviously half asleep.
	"We just got a call from the emailer.  He's here.  In the hospital."
	There was a trail of swearing from the other end of the line.  Finally
Justin regained control.  "I'll send it now.  I'll wake up some of the body
guards too.  How's David?  Is he alright?"
	"He's fine.  We just want to get out of here."
	"Okay, go somewhere where there are a lot of people.  I'll have a car there
for you in ten minutes.  Alright?"  He didn't wait for an answer.  I could
hear him yelling for the other guys even before he hung up the phone.
	James hung up and turned to me.  "Let's get into Emergency.  There should
be someone working this time of night."  He grabbed my laptop case and my
bag, swinging them over his shoulder, and then draped my arm around his
neck, helping me to limp down the hallway as fast as we could go.

***

There were two nurses in the Emergency ward and three people in the waiting
room.  A sixty something Asian woman, who sat knitting in the corner.  A
teenaged boy with a tenser bandage wrapped around his foot, which was
propped up on another chair.  And a thirty-something man who was leaning
forward with his elbows on his knees, and who kept rubbing his face.
	James and I sat against the wall, in a spot that allowed us to see the exit
and provided a view of the hallway we'd come from.  I picked up a magazine
and read while James fidgetted nervously, constantly swirling his thumbs
over and under each other.
	The nurse at the admissions desk gave us a quick look, but then ignored us
completely.  My eyes kept darting to the leaning man, making sure he hadn't
moved and that he wasn't watching us.
	I'd read the same paragraph fourteen times when James squeezed my arm and
pulled me to my feet.  The emergency doors slid open and Josh ran over to
us.  He took one arm over his shoulder and James took the other and they
half lead and half carried me out to the waiting car.
	It had dark tinted windows.  As they sat me inside, four of us in the back
seat since Justin had insisted on coming, I looked at the two bodyguards in
the front seat.  They were huge, with broad shoulders and necks.  The car
started moving as soon as Josh pulled the door closed behind him.
	I stared out of the windows, looking for anyone to be outside on the cold,
morning road.  I saw no-one.

***

Part 36

	I listened to James tell the story over and over on the way to the hotel.
Once for the guys, again for the security men who wanted to be sure of some
details, and a third time on the phone for the rest of the guys.
	As the guys helped me into the hotel lobby, I listened to the story again,
this time as a security man relayed it to the police over his cell phone.
Each time the details were the same, no added melodrama or dialogue.  A
clean, simple narration.  It sounded like fiction to me, I was approaching
it as fiction -- I was lost in one of my stories, not living one of my
nightmares.
	The security guard with the phone stopped at the front desk to talk to the
night clerk while the other one travelled up in the elevator with us.  The
doors openned to show a crowded hallway.  Security guards, managers, a whole
cast of NSYNC workers.  I could see Doug at the far end of the hall, could
hear him yelling into his cell phone.  It was a mass of confusion, but they
formed a path as I was brought to James' room.  The other guys were already
in there, and shutting the door did nothing to drown out the voices in the
hallway.
	I was lead to the bed, and I flopped back onto it.
	The room looked different somehow.  Smaller.  And Joey was right -- you'd
never have thought that someone had nearly bled to death here.  My blood had
been erased from the carpet.

***

-What was it like?
-Very quiet.
-Who spoke first?
-I did.

***

	"I'm alright guys."  I stared back at each set of worried eyes.  I grabbed
the second pillow and used it to prop myself up, making it easier to see
everyone, to see James.
	Everyone was fully dressed and there were coffee cups scattered around the
room.  Josh sat down on James' side of the bed.  "Anything you need, David?"
	"I'm fine.  They were going to release me today anyway, remember?"
	"I meant like a bandage change or something."
	I deflated a bit, reminding myself that I wasn't allowed to be independant
anymore.  Not until I was healthy.
	"Yeah, I do need that done."
	James stepped forward and started unbuttoning my shirt.  He turned to Chris
and Joey.  "Get some fresh bandages.  The hotel should have something."  He
turned to Justin.  "I need the scissors and tape from the bathroom."
	The guys left the room as James started peeling back the bandage.  Josh
held my hand, probably expecting the tape to hurt.  But there had been so
many bandage changes over the past few weeks that it didn't hurt anymore --
any hair that had existed on my stomach  had long since been pulled away.
	I squeezed his hand anyway, just liking to know he was there.
	Even if he was one of my five famous nurses.
	Justin came back into the room and joined us on the bed.  Joey and Chris
got back a few minutes later.  James was tailoring the bandage, and Josh cut
the tape.
	Justin crossed his legs.  "What're they talking about now?"
	Joey hoped up onto the dresser, beside Chris.  "Doubling security for a
while.  Cancelling the other two Calgary concerts. Getting us the hell out
of here."
	"That's security," Chris added.  "Management isn't giving in.  They say
doubling the security should be enough."  He didn't look convinced.
	"Sounds good enough to me."  Justin proded at the bruise on his elbow that
he'd gotten at the last concert when the acrobatics didn't go quite as
planned.  "I mean, we aren't the most defenseless people in the world."
	Josh shook his head.  "Back flips and dancing won't protect us from a
wacko."
	"Yeah," I added, "I tried to distract Derrick with a well rehearsed waltz,
but to no avail."  James glared down at me as he put the last bit of tape in
place and I shut up.
	The room fell into silence again.  No-one could meet anyone else's eyes.  I
felt my outsider status return, as I looked from one person to another.
Chris looked small, empty of the joviality that made him big.  Joey had his
arms crossed tightly across his chest, full of so much balled up energy I
half expected him to run, and not to stop until Calgary was left far behind.
  Justin flopped onto his back at the foot of the bed, staring at the
cieling, his eyes red.  Josh squeezed my hand and flattened out an upturned
corner of tape on my stomach.  And James . . . James was looking at me, but
wan't seeing me.  He was far away, in a dark place.  And everytime he
returned to that hotel room, he saw me, a reminder of what could happen.  A
defenseless, hurt man, who had just barely escaped death.
	Josh finally climbed off the bed and stretched.  "Let's go and try to get
more sleep."  No-one else moved, and he let his arms fall back to his sides.
  "We can't let this paralyse us, guys.  Life goes on."
	"If we're lucky," Chris added, under his breath but loud enough to be
heard.
	"Guys, get some sleep.  When you're all a bit better rested, we'll grab a
couple of bodyguards and you'll learn a bit of self defence."  I made my
voice strong, knowing that no-one followed a weak leader.  I smiled.  "I'll
teach you my survival techniques."
	Chris, still under his breath, said, "Great.  Then we'll all get the chance
to almost bleed to death on a hotel room floor."
	In a quick move, James was off the bed.  He hauled Chris off the dresser by
his shirt, swung the door open and pushed Chris into the crowded hallway
before slamming the door.  He turned back to the four stunned faces.
	"I'm not in the mood for negativity," he said, with a dangerously calm edge
to his voice.  "If you want to bitch, you can get the hell out."
	Joey hopped down off the dresser and looked at me apologetically.  "I'm
going to check on Chris."  He closed the door behind him.
	I looked over at Josh and followed his gaze down to Justin.  There were
tears trailing down his cheekbones.  Josh grabbed one of his arms and pulled
Justin to his feet and into a hug.  Justin clung to him.
	"We'll get through this," Josh whispered.  "We've got dozens of people to
protect us.  And I won't let anything happen to you, little bro."
	James wrapped his arms around me, more for his comfort than mine.

***

-I don't like reliving this.
-Then why did you bring it to me, David?
-Because it's a love story, and because everyone needs a love story once in
a while.
-It's pretty dark for a love story.
-Really?  Then tell me something, Scott.  Can love only exist in happy
moments?  Is it limitted to sunshine and roses?
-No.
-And when is a love story the most valuable?  During calm moments, or during
rough ones?
-Alright, I get your point.
-We were there for each other.
-I said I got your point.  You're a preachy SOB. :)
-I'm a writer -- it comes with the territory. :)

***

	All of the furniture had been pushed up against one wall, and I was propped
up on pillows so I could watch.  The guys were all in their rehearsal
clothes and being lead through some basic techniques by one of the smaller
security guys.  His name was Dave.  Apparently he was a blackbelt in
something or other.
	James' trackpants hugged his butt.
	I was enjoying myself.
	Justin was doing the best, by far.  I don't think anyone was looking
forward to pairing up for one on one.  Well, Josh was, but I knew he wasn't
planning on working with Justin.

	Justin ended up sparring with the bodyguard, and got his ass kicked
repeatedly.  But he didn't mind, he lay on the bed beside me, making
catcalls and insulting comments as Dave studied the techniques of the other
two pairings.
	"JC, stop grappling," Dave said.  "Swift move in and then dance away."
	I smirked and Justin flashed me a look that showed he knew what was going
on as well as I did.  We repressed the more risque jokes as long as Dave was
around.

	Joey made a sudden move against Chris, one that looked more like WWF rather
than the effects of Dave.  Chris was flipped through the air.  Somehow, he
landed on his feet, arms raised above his head, with a celebratory smile on
his face.
	Justin leaned over to me.  "Don't be too impressed.  It's a move from the
show."
	I gave him a golf clap anyway.  Chris bowed deeply.

	Meanwhile, Josh had wrestled James to the floor and had him pinned.  Dave
had given up entirely and had started rooting him on.  A few minutes later,
James had reverse the position, pinning Josh.  Strangely enough, Josh didn't
seem to be putting up too much of a fight.
	Justin and I broke out laughing.  We played innocent when James turned to
us  with a quizical look.

***

	James was soaking in a bath, the water all the way up to his neck.  He
openned his eyes and smiled at me as I hobbled into the room and slowly sat
down on the toilet.
	"There are too many Davids in the world," he said.
	"That one was a Dave." I smiled.  "Hardly counts."
	"The pancakes should be here in half an hour," he said, staring at me as if
I were the only thing in his world.
	"Great."  I tried not to be too obvious in my drooling, either for the
pancakes or for James.  "And your mom called.  She wants you to call her
back.  She's caught wind of what's going on but I soothed her for the time
being."
	"Ah, so you've met my mother."
	"Yep.  And thanked her for the flowers.  Doug got them back for me, them
and the board games."
	"Doug-the-jackass?"
	"The very same."
	James smiled.  "There's room in here for two."  He flicked some water at
me.
	"Aren't you the 'you ain't allowed out of bed' boy?"
	"Everyone needs to bathe."
	"If I go down there, I'd never be able to get back up.  I'm stuck with
showers for a while."  I prepared for another act of dependance.  I sighed
deeply.  "But I'll need help."
	His smile widened.  "It would be my pleasure."
	"Just so long as it's not too much pleasure."  I smiled, took one last look
at James, and wobbled back out of the bathroom.

***

I managed to make a big mess with the pancakes.  I was used to eating at a
table, not flat on my back with five guys around me laughing themselves
hoarse at my expense.
	I'd tried sitting, but it just hurt too much, and I was dead set against
popping more Tylenol.  So I covered myself and my pillow with blueberry
sauce and bits of pancake.  Eventually, James took pity on my, finished his
meal up as quickly as possibly, and fed me to the point of bursting.
	I knew the humour was inflated.  In normally circumstances there would have
been chuckles, a few snide remarks.  We were trying anything to keep our
minds occupied and away from reality.
	And having a damn good time of it.
	"Come on, Adonis, let's get you cleaned up."  James grabbed my arms and
pulled me to my feet.  "We'll catch you guys later.  How about we catch a
movie on cable at two?"
	We slipped into the bathroom and James locked the door behind us.
	"So how're we gonna do this?" I asked, leaning against the countertop.
	"I've seen you and you've seen me."  He waggled his perfect eyebrows.
"I'll be a perfect gentleman," he said, deepening his southern accent and
bowing.
	His pants dropped to his ankles.

***

-Watch the eyebrow comments.
-Oh, shut up.

***

"Hey, not so rough."  I winced and tightened my grip on the shower bar.
	"Sorry," James replied, lightening the pressure of the wash cloth on my
back.  "I like this side of you."
	He was referring to my dependance -- that little exercised side of me.
	"You like every side of me.  That much has become obvious."
	I knew he was blushing.  Meanwhile my eyebrows were fighting a losing
battle against the shampoo that was creeping down my forehead.
	"James?  I'm about to prove that No Tears is a bunch of crap."
	"Oh, sorry."  He moved the shower spray to wash out the shampoo.  "Is the
cling wrap holding?"
	"I think so."  Truthfully, I hadn't bothered checking.  I was too aware of
James to pay attention to a triviality.  "How do you think Justin's holding
up?"
	"Better.  He just needed a distraction.  Now that he can attack Chris
whenever he wants, he'll be fine.  I sometimes forget how young he is."
	"Strong fur such a small guy."  James turned up the heat of the water
again.  I was trying not to be scalded, but he seemed comfortable.
	"He works for it.  You should see his morning routine on the bus." I felt
the washcloth move away.  "I think I'm done here."
	I slowly turned around, trying not to slip, fall, and rip out yet another
set of stitches.  "Thanks, James."
	"For running my hands all over your body?"  His hair was plastered to his
head and there was water dripping off his nose.  His goofy grin was doing
nothing to keep the water from running into his mouth.
	I blinked.  "I guess so."
	"Even with everything, I'm glad I'm here instead of Toronto."
	"I am too, Dave."
	I narrowed my eyes.  "David is great, Davey is fine.  Dave is an invitation
to a butt kicking."
	James laughed.  "I think I could defend myself."
	I leaned in for a small kiss.  "I love you, James."
	"I love you too, David."
	"Then shut up and kiss me."
	He did.  Again and again, under the hot water.  I closed my eyes and kissed
back, clinging to him instead of the shower bar, running my hands down his
back and accross his butt.  He pulled his head away from mine and slid my
hands back up to his lower back.
	"When you're healthy again, David."
	I started my objections, but they died under the gaze of his green eyes.
	He turned off the water and I pulled him back into the hug.  He held me,
the both of us soaking wet and sweating fom the heat of the shower.  Finally
his hug tightened and he lifted me out of the bathtub.
	There were some definite pluses to being babied.
	We stood there, embracing and dripping on the bathroom floor for several
minutes.  I was cold from the cooling water, but I didn't care.  James was
in my arms and I felt happy and safe.
	There was a knock at the door.
	"Who is it?" James called out.
	"It's Josh.  Hurry up in there, James.  We're going ahead with tonight's
concert."
	James pulled out of the hug.  "Who the hell decided that?"
	"Management."
	"I'll be right out."  The Lance fury was alive in those green eyes.  He
lowered his voice to a whisper.  "Don't worry, David.  I'll get it
cancelled."
	He started toweling me off, rubbing hard enough that it hurt, but I
swallowed back my complaints.

***

Part 37

The only voice I could hear was James'.  No, not James, he was at the full
height of Lance-dom.  Chris had his ear to the door, listening for the
quieter voices of the management.  You could have heard the Lance side of
the conversation from Toronto.
	"He's not usually like this," Josh whispered to me.
	"We're not living in usual times," I answered.
	We fell quiet, each of us holding our breaths, as the yelling stopped.
Chris held up a hand for silence at the door.
	"They just offered an extra two grand to each of us if we'd perform."
	Justin walked towards the door.  "I could use the money," he whispered.
	"I'd rather live, thanks," Chris replied with a glare.
	"We don't know the guy's a killer."  Justin pressed his ear to the door as
well.
	"I don't wanna find out."  Chris held his hand up for silence again.
	A minute later he and Justin stepped back from the door and Lance stormed
in, slamming it behind him.  "Tonight's cancelled.  Tomorrow is going to
happen."  He turned to Justin.  "And I got you an extra two thousand."
	"Beautiful," Justin smiled, hoping up onto the dresser.
	"So two thousand is what you're life is worth?" Joey asked.
	"We'll be fine.  There's a big difference between stalking and killing."
	Josh made room on the bed and the calmed down James snuggled in between us.
  Josh cleared his throat.  "I say we cancel the tour.  Take a month off,
let things calm down."
	"Can't," James replied.  "We signed the contracts."
	"That was before some nut-job started following us around and sending us
threatening emails."
	"Weren't you the one who said we couldn't put our lives on hold?"
	"That was this morning, Scoop.  I've had more time to think.  And you
should be aiming to cancel the tour too, you've got David to take care of.
You can't keep an eye on him all the time, and it was your name in the guy's
email address."
	"I say we get flights in the morning." Joey said, trying to lure Busta out
from under the bed.  "Leave before anyone, even the company, sees we're
going."
	"Breach of contract.  They'd sue us blind."  James was running his fingers
up and down my arm.  "And there's no way we'd get out of this place without
anyone seeing us.  It's Fort Knox out there."
	"David'll think of something," Chris laughed, waving his middle finger in
the air.
	I giggled.  "I wonder if she ever lived that down."
	"I don't like being caged, guys."  Josh's voice was sombre and quiet.  "We
can't live behind a wall of people.  That's no life."
	Chris summed it all up.  "But at least it ain't death."

***

	The guys were on the floor, playing Trivial Pursuit.  The game had already
gone on for an hour.  The sheer number of Canadian questions were screwing
them all over.
	I was working on a short story but it was going nowhere fast so I loaded up
my Netscape and started an email check.  Another Viagra add and an email
from Luke.  He was switching back to his middle name.  Apparently all the
references to DiCaprio's time on Growning Pains were finally getting to him.
  Somehow I didn't think Shawn was much of an alternative, but I looked
forward to calling him Shawn Luke, even if that wasn't the right order.
	I hit the compose button.

***

From:  ThePoetBoy@hotmail.com
To:	Mmmm_Lance@hotmail.com
Re:	Fuck you.

It's David -- but you knew that, right?

I'm tired of you.  You want Lance?  You go through me.  Either you mean
business or you're a cowardly sonofabitch.

***

I hit the cancel button and closed the laptop.  "It's William Lyon
MacKenzie, James."

He won a piece of pie.

***

Josh looked over at me.
	"It's William Lyon MacKenzie King, Josh."
	"It is not.  He was the answer to Lance's question."
	"That was William Lyon MacKenzie.  This is MacKenzie King.  Different
people."
	Josh shook his head, but gave the answer and won the pie piece.  "You
guy've got to get more original names for your Prime Ministers."
	"How about Kim Cambell?"
	Josh looked at me and blinked.  "What kind of guy's name is Kim?"
	"She was a woman.  Canada's a bit more forward thinking than you Yanks."
He shook his head and rolle the dice.  "Not that she really counts.  She was
elected by her party, not the general public."
	"What is the northernmost city in Canada?" Joey asked.
	Josh turned to me and I shrugged.  "Geography's not my thing."
	"Then what is your thing?" he asked.
	"Me," James purred, crawling up on the bed.  With a little help, he'd
already gotten all of his pie pieces. The guys were battling it out for
second place.
	"Jeez," Chris moaned.  "Get a room you guys."
	"This *is* our room," I laughed quickly before James' lips silenced me.
	He flopped down beside me, snuggling in and wrapping his leg around both of
mine.  I could feel his breath on my neck.
	"I don't want you to go back to Toronto, David.  Even after all of this is
over."
	"I've got a life there, James.  A home."
	"You can have a life with us.  We'll take care of you."
	"I'll be able to take care of myself."
	His silence returned.
	"I don't want to be taken care of all of my life, Jimmy.  I'm an
independant person.  I can't live out of hotels.  Plus it wouldn't take long
for reporters to catch on if we went everywhere together."  I sighed.  "We
can't keep finding our way back to this conversation."
	"Marry me."
	I shook my head.  "No."
	"Why not?"
	"Because you don't mean it, you're just searched for reasons to keep me
with you.  You're trying to find a way to slip me into your pocket so you'll
never be alone."
	His voice was quiet.  "There's nothing wrong with wanting you with me."
	"No.  But there's also nothing wrong with some distance now and then.  For
God's sake, James, you can count the number of weeks we've known each other
on one hand."
	"Time's got nothing to do with anything."
	He had a point.  It felt like far more that a couple of weeks.  I felt like
we'd been together forever, as far back as I could remember.  I couldn't
remember a time before that moment in the hospital, when I woke up, the
pain, the recognition of the boy in my room.
	Time was meaningless, just another direction, perpendicular to space.
	"I did mean it, David.  I do want to marry you."
	"You're not thinking it through, James.  Marriage is not a casual thing.
It could ruin your career."
	"I don't care.  I won't miss bomb threats and stalkers."
	"That's not what I mean and you know it."
	"I'm not happy, David.  I'd rather go back to school, take another shot at
being an astronaut, than this."
	If that had been said by anyone other than James, I'd have laughed in his
face.
	"Your heart couldn't handle that."
	"My heart can't handle this, David."
	In the silence that followed, I became aware we weren't alone.  I'd
forgotten the board game and the other guys.  Chris and Joey were staring at
the board.  Josh was holding Justin, who was crying again.
	I met Josh' gaze.  "We need to get out of here," he whispered.
	"We can't."  I squeezed James.  "We won't.  I've done a lot of running in
the past few weeks.  It doesn't solve anything.  We're safe here, there's no
sense risking everything."
	"They're putting us on stage tomorrow, David."  Josh was stroking Justin's
hair.  "Something's going to happen, I can feel it."
	I could too.  The future hung thick in the air.
	"We'll be fine," I whispered.  "We're safe."

***

-How did you know, David?
-I'm not sure.  But it was obvious to me.
-Then why didn't you run?
-What would it have accomplished?  Ever tried hiding with five celebrities?
-You don't know the stalker would have followed.
-I didn't know he wouldn't.
-You'd have all felt better.  Some distance.
-The asshole would have still been out there.
-James would have felt better.
-
-He would have felt better.
-I know.
-You might have survived.
-I know.
-Then why didn't you run?
-Because my borrowed time was up and I knew it.  Heroes go away when they're
no longer needed, not before they're needed.  Either it happened here, or
the infection would get me somewhere else.  Either way, it was time.
-
-I wanted to say yes.  I wanted to say, "Let's get the hell out of here,"
but I *knew* I had to stay.  I wanted to say, "Yes, I will marry you," but I
knew I wouldn't be around to follow through.
-You knew you were going to die, but you stayed anyway?
-They needed me.

***

End of part 37

I hope to have the next/last installment out by next Friday or Saturday --
but no promises. :)

Email me!  thepoetboy@hotmail.com