Date: Sun, 16 Jan 2000 23:26:58 EST
From: CaRtOoN80@aol.com
Subject: life as i know it 8

Life as I Know It 8 Stubbornness

The following story is a work of fiction that does not want to imply that
anyone in this story is gay, lesbian, or bisexual. The storyline may be far
fetched but it's for entertainment purposes only. Thank you

	"Number 27," Cal yelled.

	I walked up to him and looked at me. He smiled a little.

	"Listen, Turner. You've been here for a few months now and your
great at what you do, don't get me wrong. But what I don't understand is
why a college graduate and ex-dress person is working here."

	"I need a change, Cal," I whispered as I picked up the pleather red
box.

	"Really badly," Cal asked.

	"The worst. Where am I taking this?"

	Call handed me a slip and I was on my way out of the door. I got
into my beat-up jeep and was on my way. I started to drive before I even
looked at the address. Then, when I read it, I gave a loud "FUCK!"

	I pulled up into the driveway. I sighed before I got to the door. I
rang the doorbell, and there, not to my surprise, was my father.

	"Hello sir," I said as I forced a smile, "`Calvin's Pizza for you."

	"Dylan," he said is amazement, "is that you?"

	"You ordered a extra large pepperoni and extra cheese. That will be
about $10.95."

	"Dylan, oh my god. What are you doing in Kansas City?"

	"Sir, are you going to pay for the pizza or not," I said very
sternly.

	My father took out a 20-dollar bill. I quickly retrieved a ten out
of my pocket.

	"Keep the change," he said.

	I put the ten back and my pocket and turned back towards my jeep.

	"Dylan,' my father said to me.

	I stopped in my tracks. He waited for me to turn around, but I did
no such thing.

	"Dylan, if you want. I am having dinner by myself. I would love it
if you join. The latest you can come is ten, put please do come."

	I wiped away a tear.

	"Goodnight, sir," I said as I hopped in my jeep and drove off.

	The rest of the day was routine. I drove all around Kansas City
delivering pizzas to people. Cal was really cool with me. He would give me
some of his tips, which he'd force me to except. I was living in a little
shack just above a popular nightclub here. It was hard to sleep on
Thursdays through Saturdays because that's when the club was at it's
best. Right now, however, I was dying to go there. It was about 9:30 when I
reached my last house. When I got there, I saw a lot of trucks and vans on
it. It made me happy, because it looked like a movie was being shot
there. I rang the doorbell, and the very attractive man answered it.

	"Calvin's Pizza here," I smiled.

	"Awe, cool man," the guy smiled. "Lemme take you to Roger. He's in
charge of finances."

	The guy took me to a living room where a guy in a suit sat and read
over papers.

	"Hey, Rog. Pizza guy needs to get paid."

	"Thanks, Rocky," Roger said.

	Rocky walked away and Roger gave me 50 bucks for the pizzas. Just
then, another guy roared down the stairs.

	"I can't believe this," he yelled.

	"Craig," Roger said as he walked to him, "what's going on?"

	"One of the guys quit."

	Then Craig looked at me.

	"Hey," he said, "kid are you over 18?"

	"Yup," I said, a little afraid of the next question.

	"How would you like to make $400 a day," he asked.

	"Doing what," I asked in curiosity.

	"A fluffer. We are doing a gay porno and we need a fluffer for a
few days. What do you think?"

	"Um, sorry. I don't do that kinda stuff," I backed out as I headed
for the door.

	"Come on kid," he said, " I need you to suck a little dick before a
sex scene. That isn't very bad.  And your getting paid more than the pizza
place can give you."

	"I'd rather live with my father," I said.

	I stormed out of the house and thought of what I said. Giving a big
sigh, I turned on the engine and drove away.

	About 5 minutes later, I stood at my father's door. I rang the bell
and he came out.

	"Dylan," I smiled.

	He went to hug me and I backed off.

	"I will only stay if you don't start up again," I said.

	"I can do that," he said.

	I walked into his house and sat on the couch. He sat in his
recliner and stared at me for a little while.

	"Are you hungry," he asked.

	"Yes I am," I said.

	We went to the dinner table. He sat down across from me, and there
sat swordfish and rice.

	"I cooked it myself," he smiled.

	I nodded as I grabbed a fork and scarfed down the food.

	"Dylan," he said," you look pale and tired. When was the last time
you ate?"

	"Once a week, Cal, my boss, gives me a free pizza, but I survive."

	"What happened to you job?"

	"Don't start, dad."

	Quietness engulfed the house. My dad and I continued to eat. Then
he stopped.

	"Does your mother or Andrew know," he asked.

	"Nobody knows. You are it."

	"Well, maybe we should call Andrew and-."

	"No," I said sternly. "Nobody is to know where I am and what I am
doing. Is that clear?"

	He nodded his head. I continued eating

	"Dylan," he said. "Listen, I know you don't want to explain
anything, and I can understand that. I have messed up as a man, a husband,
and as a father, and I want to apologize. I am sorry, Dylan, for not
excepting you. I love you, and I want to learn to except you for who you
are."

	"Is this a trick," I asked.

	"No trick," he whispered. "Dylan, I am going to be upfront with
you. I've never told anybody this because I was afraid of what everyone
would think. I loved your mother, and I still do, you first must understand
that. You must also understand that she loved me. Well, I also loved
someone else. It was a different kind of love than your mother could ever
give me. Back when I was twenty, our love was not `the right thing' as they
say. You see, Dylan, I am gay too."

	I was floored. My father, Mr. Man, was gay?

	"What the fuck do you mean your gay," I yelled.

	"Let me finish explaining. I was in love with this man named
Hector. He was Spanish. And throughout the times I was with your mother and
I'd go out late, it was to be with Hector. He loved me and adored me as
much as I adored him. I was sexually active with Hector because I wanted
to, yet I was sexually active with your mother because society told me
to. Well, Hector wanted to get married, because there was no law that said
we couldn't. I was going to break up with your mother and tell her the
truth the day she told me she was pregnant. Well, being responsible as I
was, I married your mother. And six months later we had Andrew. I told
Hector what happened, he was angry, but so understanding. He still stayed
with me throughout the decisions I made. Well, I loved having Andrew. I
would take him with me just about everywhere I could, which included
Hectors. Andrew and Hector and your mother where my family. Then, I told
Hector I was going to divorce your mother and marry him, then we found out
she was pregnant again.  Well, Hector thought I was using the pregnancy
thing to not break it off with you mother, so he left me.  When we had you,
I will not lie, I hated you. You were the driving force for me to loose my
love, or so I thought. I know it was me, but I didn't at the time. Then I
got the notion that I had to make sure that neither of my son's became
gay. I did not want Andrew or you to go through the bullshit I went through
or the shit I was afraid of going though if I came out. That's why I was so
strict."

	"Well, then why did you not except me when I came out," I asked
him.

	"I didn't want you to live like that. I wanted you to have a normal
life and raise normal children.  Homosexuality in my generation was wrong,
and I never wanted my children to be wrong. I felt like I failed as a
father."

	"Well, look what happened, dad. I am gay! No matter how much you
tried to stray that idea away from me, here I stand, your homo of a son!"

	"I know that! That's why I am apologizing. I am sorry, Dylan. I am
so damn sorry."

There I sat, looking at my father weep in front of me. And as his red eyes
stared into mine, that is when I understood everything. Never once did he
not love me, he was trying to protect me. I stood up and I walked towards
him and gave him a hug.

	"I love you dad," I whispered in his ear. "I hope that you realize
that I love you. We are gay, and nowadays, in this day and age, it's ok."

	"I know that now, son," he whispered back, "I know."

	I let go of him and looked at him.

	"Why are you telling me all this now? Does mom know?"

	"Oh, let me finish the story. Sit down."

	I sat in the chair next to him as he sighed.

	"Your mother and I were divorced when you where about 10. That's
about the time Hector came back into my life. Your mother caught us in bed
and demanded a divorce. She was so emotionally distraught when I finally
told her the story that she went to a mental institution near her
family. That's where she remains today, with her sister. As for me, telling
you this? Hector died about 2 months ago."

	"Dad, I am so sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do?"

	"Take care of me, Dylan," my dad cried.

	"Sure."

	I helped my dad to bed. Looking at him now, he seemed as weak and
fragile as a helpless man did.  The next day, I quit Cal's, which he was
happy to here. He always said I could do better than his shop.  Then I
spent my days taking care of my dad. By this time, he told me how Drew
decided not to talk to him after they had an argument before his
wedding. Calls where rare, yet when they happened usually consisted of
people selling things. I prepared breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the both
of us, and even got my down payment from the place above the nightclub
back. This lasted for about 2 months. My dad and I were closer than ever
before, and we loved it. He treated me the way I always wanted to be
treated, like his son. The son of Robert Turner. He would ask me about my
relationships, and I would think of Josh. I knew he was out there worried
about me, but until I had the money, I could not see Josh. I didn't want
anybody to think I was using him for money and sex. God, we never even had
sex. MY dad brought me a pager, just incase I was out and he needed me. The
day after the pager was activated, I received a page from my father. I
picked up a few more things, and then returned home to see my father, lying
in his chair asleep. I smiled and went to hug him, but he body was a little
colder then usual. A little frightened, I felt his pulse, and there was no
sign of live. Without a word, I went to the telephone.

	"Hello," I spoke to the operator, "my father is dead."

	We went through the usual procedures, and as soon as I hung up, I
called then next person in mind.

	"Hello, Josh? This is Dylan."

To Be Continued.