Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2000 19:04:55 GMT
From: Elly Iles <uptowngurrl@hotmail.com>
Subject: Little White Lies - 4

Disclaimer: Man, these things suck to write.  Okay, here's the deal.  Stop
reading if you're under eighteen, or it's illegal to view such material in
your area.  Not that there will be any sex, but hey, some people are just
plain prejudiced.  This story is not meant to imply anything about The
Backstreet Boys.  As far as I know, they're not gay, for which I'm
profoundly glad.  My million to one chance of marrying Nick would be out
the door if they were.  I'm just a sick little girlie, who makes up stuff
like this in my head.  None of it's true.  It's F-I-C-T-I-O-N, peeps.
You'd do well to remember that.


Kevin looked up at the ceiling, following the swirling patterns with his
hands.  This was getting beyond a joke.  He hadn't bothered to resurface
from the house for the whole weekend.  In fact, he hadn't bothered to
resurface from his bed bar going to the toilet and picking at the
thoroughly unappetising food in the fridge.  The phone had been going like
crazy, but he hadn't bothered to pick it up.  It would just be his mum,
checking up on him like he was a child.

Well what do you call this behaviour?  He asked himself.  Adult?  He knew
he was being stupid.  Any sane person, with half a heart would have phoned
up AJ by now and apologised.  But somewhere in his misguided opinion, he
knew it would make it sound worse.  'I apologise for not being in love with
you, AJ.  Even though it makes perfect sense, I'm still hung up on a
eighteen year old kid who is showing absolutely no indication of swinging
that way.'  Yeah, cos that would work.

The phone started ringing again, and Kevin felt himself cracking up.  Would
she just stop worrying for one little second, he asked himself inwardly.
The answer seemed to be a resounding 'no'.  Finally he relented and
stumbled out of bed and into the hallway.

"This had better be good."  He muttered, before picking up the phone.
"Hello?"

"Well that took you long enough."  Kevin heard an unfamiliar voice on the
other end that he soon realised was that of his cousin's.  Jesus Christ,
Kevin thought to himself.  Have things really got that bad between us?

"Brian, hi."  Kevin tried to make sense of why Brian was phoning.  Must be
something to do with the band.

"Kev, I really need to talk to someone, and I don't know who else to turn
to."  Brian confided.

"I'm listening."

"Not here.  Can I come round?"

"Uh, I don't think that's such a good idea, Brian.  I'm pretty busy at the
moment."  Kevin lied.  He could hear the desperation in his cousin's voice,
but he couldn't bring himself to listen to his problems.  For one reason,
he had to many of his own, and secondly he felt a tinge of resentment that
Brian had systematically ignored him for almost a year, and now phoned up
like this out of the blue, expecting an open ear.

"Well, ok."  Brian's voice softened, along with Kevin's face.  "Maybe
another time?"

"Yeah, maybe."  Kevin swallowed.  "Um, can't you talk to Nick?"  He was
fully aware of their close friendship, and often found himself getting
incredibly jealous over it.  If Nick had a nightmare, it was Brian he
shouted for.  When they travelled on a plane, it was Brian Nick
automatically sat next to.  And Kevin had lost count of all the times Nick
had fallen asleep leaning on Brian's shoulder, totally trusting the
twenty-three year old.

"No, I can't."  Brian sighed regretfully.  "Not this time."

"Well, we'll talk soon.  I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see ya.  Thanks."  Brian hung up.  Kevin stared at the receiver.
What on earth was that about?  His first conclusion was that it was
something to do with Nick.  Brian's words "Not this time" seemed to
indicate something was wrong with the two of them.  The feeling of
satisfaction that tried to build up in Kevin was soon beaten down by his
conscience.  The two of them were so right together as best friends.  And
God knows, Nick would be eternally miserable if the same thing that had
happened between Brian and Kevin was to happen between him and Brian.  As
much as Kevin wanted Nick to himself, the thought of him being miserable
made Kevin feel physically ill.  Nick only deserved to be happy.  That
meant by any means possible.  Even if it wasn't always to Kevin's liking.

***

Their manager, Peter, obviously expected their reaction to the latest
schedule to be one of strong rejection.  That's why he told them from
behind his desk, before darting out of the room with the excuse that he had
to attend a meeting.

"They can't make us do this, not again."  AJ slammed his fist down on the
desk.  "I can't go to fucking Europe again."

"That makes five of us."  Howie muttered unhappily.  Howie never shouted
when he was angry, but his eyes usually narrowed, and he would tug
furiously at his long hair.  Right now, he was in danger of pulling it out.

"Well come on Kev."  AJ challenged him.  "You're 'the dad.'  Go in there
and tell him we can't do it."

"I don't think it would make much of a difference."  Kevin scowled
resentfully at AJ.  How the hell did I have feelings for him last night?
Kevin asked himself.  Why on earth would I want to kiss someone so
blatantly nasty?

"Kevin's right."  Howie said.  "I don't think any of us could change his
mind."

"Maybe Nick could give him a blow-job.  I'm sure he'd reconsider then."  AJ
muttered spitefully.  Nick, who had remained silent up until then, ran out
of the room in tears.  Brian glared at AJ before going after him.

"Hey AJ, that was some funny shit."  Kevin turned to face AJ, his voice
angry with sarcasm.  "You wanna reduce some other kid to tears now?"

"Oh, I think I'm happy with just one kid."  AJ replied.  "Kinda like you,
hey Kev?"  He let out a groan as Kevin's hand greeted his chest, quickly
shooting out and pushing him against the wall.

"Now we're all a little unhappy right now, so I'm gonna let that comment
pass."  Kevin rasped in his face.  "But I don't wanna hear another comment
like that from you again, you hear?"

"Loud and clear."  AJ nodded.  He was obviously scared, but he kept the
same defiant face that he wore as a shield.  Kevin dropped his hand and AJ
looked at him, almost searchingly, before walking out of the room.

"What was that all about?"  Howie questioned.

"Just AJ being a dick.  Nothing new."

"Sure it isn't something else?"

"Positive."  Kevin decided he wasn't up to this questioning right now.  He
had too much on his mind.  "I've gotta go tell my parents."  He muttered,
before leaving the room, and Howie's questioning eyes, to another time.

Well, I'm going on holiday now for a couple of weeks so this story won't be
updated for a while.  AMERICA BABY!!!!  Sorry, but living in England with
the crappest weather ever, well, it will be a nice change to go somewhere
hot!  I hope the wait won't be too much for you all, I'll update as soon as
I can.  In the (somewhat) wise words of N Sync 'Bye Bye Bye'.