Date: Sun, 13 Aug 2000 16:48:54 EDT
From: Adam I <aci_85@hotmail.com>
Subject: Loneliness Unmasked - Chap. 1 and Chap. 2

**Hey, this is my first story and I hope you guys like it.**

**This story is completely fictional. All members of both bands are in real
life straight. Their sexuality in my story is that of my choosing due to my
own preference.**



CHAPTER 1 -- LONELINESS UNMASKED

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE'S HOTEL ROOM

Justin sat in his room, small tears rolling down his face, dripping off his
chin.  His shorts had small water stains in them, where his tears fell.
Justin was thinking of his past, all the times he had been happy were gone.
He thought back to his days at MMC and couldn't realize what had happened
between himself and JC.  Then he remembered...

FLASH BACK

"Hey, wait up." Justin was chasing JC down the halls of the MMC studios.  It
was during the first season that Justin and JC were in the show together.

"Get lost dweeb." JC ran faster then Justin, and Justin finally gave up.  At
the time Justin didn't know why JC was being so mean to him, but now he
knew. Justin was a pain in the neck back then. Justin remembered himself
always following JC around, asking him questions. And looking up to him.
Justin was a brat then.

RETURN to PRESENT

Justin cried harder.  His sobs now loud, and more like moans.  He was curled
up in a ball, lying on the floor.  "Why does every one think I am such good
friends with JC?" he said to himself in between sobs.

Justin continued to think, as he pulled himself up. "I gotta get myself
cleaned up, before I do it."

Justin walked into the bathroom, and grabbed some tissues.  He wiped his
face and tried to dry his pants.  He opened up the cabinet and pulled out
the bottle.  He read the label...Anti-depressants.

He had been taking them for a year and a half now. Justin just couldn't deal
with the turmoil of the band, and the hate that JC had for him.  The other
members didn't even talk to him.  Now that they knew he was gay.

Justin opened the bottle, and dumped the 10 or so remaining pills into his
hand.  He didn't have a crush on any one, he didn't have any friends, and he
didn't want to continue his life.  He swallowed the pills one by one, and
laid down on his bed.

SWITCH TO JOEY'S ROOM

"Yeah, well we are looking forward to meeting you guys too.  Maybe it will
do Justin good to meet some new people.  He has been really lonely lately,
and none of the guys are talking to him." Joey was talking to some one on
the phone.

"Well, we will do our best to cheer him up.  Brian went through the same
situation when he came out, so maybe he can help Justin with his problems."
A.J. Mclean was on the other line.

"I hope so, because he has been crying lately, and he won't let any one in
his room to see him. He's skipped four rehearsals now, and he won't tell us
why."  Joey continued as Chris ran in the door.

"Hang on a sec AJ." Joey said as he set the phone down on the hotel bed.
"What's up Chris?"  he asked as his fellow bandmate, begin to catch his
breath.

"Justin...he..." Chris continued to catch his breath, as Joey became
displeased.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Joey yelled.

"he popped, his ...pi...pills, and he's unconcious." Chris finally blurted
out. "We need to get him to the hospital and quick." Chris finished, and
headed back down the hall to Justin's room.

"AJ, I gotta go." Joey tried to end the conversation.

"What's wrong?" AJ asked before Joey could hang up.

"Justin just tried to committ...he tried to kill himself." Joey said with a
blank stare on his face as he realized what had really happened.

"Whoa, dude, get him to the hospital, we will meet you their when the plane
lands." AJ said and hung up quickly.

BACKSTREET BOY PLANE RIDE

"How are the guys?" Brian asked as he and Kevin turned around from their
seats to look at AJ.

"Well, theirs a big problem." AJ said in a solemn voice, by this point Nick
and Howie were now listening intently as the rest.

"What?" Brian feverishly asked.

"Justin, well he just come out of the closet to the guys." AJ said before
finishing he was interrupted.

"That's no big problem, I came out, and he can too, I am personally proud of
him for doing it." Brian stated loud and clear.

"Yeah, that's because you have a crush on him." Nick giggled and smirked at
Brian.

Kevin was still looking at AJ, he knew their was more, but with Nick and
Brian's childness, AJ would not continue.

"Shut up, he's not finished" Kevin hollered.

The guys fell into silence, and followed Kevin's order. They didn't want to
feel Kevin's wrath.

"Well, the guys have been treating him like shit, and he just tried to
commit suicide." AJ finished, looking straight down at the floor.  He didn't
want to see their faces.

The group didn't know what to say.  Howie just looked at Kevin in awe.
Kevin fell back into his seat, upright.  He did not know what to say.
Usually in these situations Kevin would comfort the group.  But they had
never had to deal with a friend trying to commmit suicide.  Brian was the
first to speak.

"How did he do it?" Brian asked.

Everyone turned their attention towards him, and wondered why he would ask
such a question.

"He popped some pills that he's been taking.  He took them, and the guys
found him unconcious on the bed of his room.  They saw the bottle, and when
they couldn't revive him they took him to the hospital.  We are supposed to
meet them there on arrival." AJ squeezed every last detail out of himself.
He hated to be the bearer of bad news, but this time it was necessary for
every one to know all the details.

"I can't believe they would do that to him.  I mean he is so young, he just
needed some one to be with him, some one to tell him it would be alright."
Brian said sadly, as he continued. "If you guys had treated me that way, I
would have the left the group.  And I was 24 when I came out.  He is 19, he
is still a teenager." No one said anything to comfort Brian.  Brian
continued when no one spoke up. "I don't want to see them.  Just Justin.  I
don't think I could talk to them." Brian finished and turned around in his
seat and popped on his headphones.

"What???" Kevin looked at him in astonishment.  Brian did not answer, he
just continued to listen to his cd.  He had nothing left to say, and nothing
else could be said to him.

AJ turned over to Howie and looked at him.  Howie was dumfounded, but he
knew that he had to say something.

"What are we going to do? I mean the tour kicks off in two days.  And if
Justin's sick, and Brian won't talk to them, then how can we handle a tour."
Howie asked.

"What the fuck is your problem? Justin almost killed himself, and Brian is
the only one that even cares for him.  The tour is over, we are cancelling
it, if Justin can't work it.  In fact we are cancelling it no matter what."
AJ demanded as the group once again turned around.

Brian had thought that nothing else could be said to him, but he took off
his head phones and realized that AJ cared just as much as him.

"That's right.  Justin is in no shape to be near those guys.  They hurt him,
and let him down.  He needs to be with some one that can help him out.  He
can share a room with me at the hotel, and I will take care of him." Brian
stated in a long sentence that was followed by a small silence.

"I don't know if that is a good idea. The guys of NSYNC aren't going to like
cancelling the tour.  And they are going to try and force Justin to work.
It will be us against them, and we won't have an advantage." Kevin stated in
a fatherly tone.

"Yes we will, Justin will agree with us." Nick stated proudly.  He liked the
idea of helping some one out.

"No he won't.  Justin won't even be with us when we talk it over.  We can't
let him know that the two groups are arguing over him.  He won't leave the
hotel when we discuss it." Kevin once again become the father of the group
as he spoke.

"I won't leave the hotel either then." Brian boldy stated the truth that he
was feeling in his head.

"We will need you at the meetings." Kevin ordered.

"Justin will need some one. You can't leave a young kid alone after he tried
to kill himself.  You just can't, not after all he's been through." Brian
had a sad look on his face.

"Buckle your belts, folks, we are not descending into our landing at JFK
airport."  The head stewardess appeared at the front of the plane.

The rest of the plane ride was quiet.  No one talked as the plane landed.
Or as they entered their limos.

HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM

"Why the hell didn't you tell them what really happened?" Joey barked at JC.

"If I told the doctor that he tried to kill himself they would have kept him
locked up.  We wouldn't have been able to go on tour." JC quickly snapped
back.

"I don't give a shit, he is just a kid.  And you, you hurt him the most, he
hasn't been able to look at you, since those MMC days, and it's your fault."
Joey returned with a low blow to JC.

"Don't give me that shit.  He was a little baby, constantly following me
around, don't blame this shit on me.  I didn't force him to take those
pills.  I didn't tell him to try and commit suicide."

"No you didn't." A familiar voice rang around the room, as the 4 member of
NSYNC looked up to see Justin standing in a robe.  He was crying, the whole
time he was just standing their, listening to the whole situation. He felt
even more alone as he continued to talk.  "No one told me to take them.  I
did it because I had to get away from this shit, you guys, the tour, and
especially JC." Justin added crying.  But no one tried to comfort him, they
all just sat their.

"Oh knock it off, you little baby.  This crying shit ain't going to get your
any where.  You aren't a baby any more, and you aren't going to get me
worked up over something so small as a few pills." JC freaked out at Justin
as he stood right in his face.

Justin collasped backwards, but was caught by two strong arms.  He lifted
his head back and threw his tear stained eyes, he could see Brian Litrell of
the Backstreet Boys holding him.

"Don't worry, we are here now." Brian whispered to Justin. Brian helped
Justin to the couch in the lobby, and sat down, letting Justin cry on his
shoulder.

Kevin ran into the room followed by the Nick, Howie and AJ, all of whom had
missed the whole ordeal.

"What happened?" Kevin asked Joey.

"What business is it of yours.  This is NSYNC business, and you jackasses
shouldn't be involved, now let Justin stand for himself." JC freaked out at
the other boy band group.

Kevin jumped forward, but was too late. AJ had already grabbed JC by the
shirt and threw him to the wall.  "Don't you ever say that shit again. I
know what you guys have done to Justin, Joey told me, and we are here to
stop it. When Justin leaves he is coming with us." AJ said in a clear tone,
one that no one could argue with.

"Put him down." Lance begged of AJ.  AJ released JC and let him fall to the
floor.  JC got up and cleared his throat."

"He's not going with you.  He is our band mate, and he will go with us." JC
comanded.  As the two groups argued back and forth, no one noticed that
Brian and Howie had slipped Justin out of the hospital and into one of the
limos.

LIMO RIDE TO HOTEL

"It's okay now, I am not going to let them hurt you.  You don't have to see
them ever again, if you don't want." Brian hushed Justin's crying.

Howie was not in the limo he had managed to get back inside the hospital.

"Why are you doing this for me?" Justin asked in between sobs.  His robe was
soaked, and he was shaking, but he felt calm in Brian's arms.

"Because your a friend, and I went through this too." Brian assured Justin
that it was okay, just by his words, and his touch.

"You mean with a girlfriend, or the band." Justin hesitantly asked.  He
didn't know that Brian was gay, and he found himself wishing that Brian was.

"Yeah, sorta." Brian managed to squeeze out.  He didn't know why, but for
some reason he didn't want to tell Justin how he felt. "Just sleep now, when
we get back to the hotel I will wake you up.

HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM

"Wait a second where's Justin?" Chris blurted out in between the groups
arguements.

"He's gone." Howie firmly stated.

"WHAT???" came from all members of both groups.

"Brian took him to a hotel.  He didn't want Justin to hear this. Not after
all he's been through." Howie stuck by his words. He knew he couldn't tell
them which hotel, so he didn't.

"Which hotel Howie?" JC practically ordered him to tell the groups.

"I can't say, I promised for Justin's sake." Howie continued to stick by his
word.

"Well then I am going to promise you now that if you don't tell, then we are
going to kick your ass." JC said as he and Lance both stood to their feet.
Joey and Chris watched in shock as Nick, AJ, and Kevin all stood firm around
Howie.

"Don't try it JC." Joey said.

"What?" Lance uttered out.

"Your taking their side?" JC questioned Joey.

"They are right, Justin needs to be away from us, with out us knowing where.
  We might as well leave and go back to our hotel." Joey clearly stated.

"That might be a problem" Howie said.

"Why?" Chris asked him.

"Well, we have to share a limo.  They took ours." Howie stated.

"Fine but, it's you guys on one side, and us on the other." JC ordered.

The groups walked down to the limos and headed to the hotel.  They did not
know that Justin and Brian were staying in the same hotel.  It was a clever
trick to keep them off their trail.  They would just order in and never
leave the hotel.

BRIAN'S HOTEL ROOM

"Whaa. Where am I?" Justin found himself question what had happened to him,
and where he was, when he remembered the car ride. He looked up and Brian
was standing above him with a smile.

"I see your finally awake. It's about time, it's only been a few hours."
Brian laughed after his sarcasm.

"I didn't realize I was out that long, sorry for taking your bed, I can go
back to my room if you want." Justin found himself blushing with
embarrassment.

"No, you are already in your bed." Brian assured Justin. Justin knew that he
wasn't in his original room, but when he looked around, he found all his
clothing, and personal belongings in the room.

"But how, I mean, I don't remember bringing my stuff here." Justin said
still slightly embarrassed.

"I know I had the bell hop bring it to the room.  I carried you up here.
And got you dressed." Brian said staring at the floor.  He didn't know what
Justin would say after he realized that Brian had dressed him in a sweat
shirt, and sweat pants.

"Thanks, I wondered why I wasn't cold any more." Justin smirked looking at
himself, now fully dressed.

"No prob, I knew you were cold, you were shaking and shivering in your sleep
the whole car ride." Brian told Justin.

"Yeah, well I wasn't just cold, I had my reasons." Justin said, as he could
feel the tears he was trying to hold back flow down his face.  He didn't
want to let Brian see him, but he couldn't hold it back any more.

"Wanna talk about it?" Brian questioned, as he pulled Justin in to a hug.
He tried to wipe Justin's tears away, but Justin pulled back and covered his
head in the bed. "Justin, I'm not going to leave you, even if you want me
to.  I can't let you go.  You need some one to stick by you, and I am not
going to desert you like your fellow 'friends." Brian informed Justin.

"I just, I, I don't know, why they helped me. I wanted to die, I wanted to
end this shit.  I don't want to be the center of every one's hate.  I don't
want the tour to end because of me." Justin sobbed after he let it all out.
Brian pulled him closer, and Justin let him this time.  He cried into
Brian's shoulder, as Brian held him.

"You don't want to die. Don't say that.  You have a lot to live for. You are
going to make a guy happy one day." Brian said this with out thinking.  He
didn't consider the fact that Justin might not want to talk about one of the
things that had caused him to try and kill himself.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that." Brian tried to apologize, but Justin
didn't even move, he just continued to cry into Brian's arms.  Brian just
held Justin until he fell asleep.  And as Justin slept Brian rubbed his
back, and pulled the blankets up around them.  He tried to sleep but found
himself staring at Justin, peacefully sleeping.

FRONT DESK OF HOTEL

"Yeah, we are going to need 2 doubles." Kevin told the front desk clerk.

"Alright, here are your keys, you will be staying in the rooms next to those
of NSYNC." The clerk responded kindly to Kevin.

"So, we have to stay next to you guys too." JC complained in a low voice,
trying not to be hard, even though he wanted to be.

"Yeah,well we aren't happy either." AJ barked back.

"In the morning we are splitting up to find Justin." Lance suddenly spit
out.  He had been holding it in since they left the hospital, and he had to
get it off his chest.

"Why?" Nick asked stupidly, but then recovered, "It's not like you guys
cared for him this morning."

"We need him for the tour, that's why." Lance finished up the arguement.

"The tour is over, I already talked to management." Chris said, for the
first time he was involved in the arguement.

"What?" JC through out his words.

"Yeah, while you guys were at the front desk, I went to the pay phone and
called.  I told them the tour had to be cancelled due to Justin being
drastically sick. It took some arguing but I won them over, and we have the
month off." Chris happily responded.  For once he was doing what he felt was
right, even if the others disapproved.

"Good, that is all we wanted." Kevin spoke up, obviously speaking on the
behalf of all Backstreet Boy members.

"Shit" All 8 of the guys turned around to see, Brian standing at the end of
the hallway, with an ice bucket.  Brian didn't think any one would be on the
same floor as he and Justin, and he took the time while Justin slept to get
the ice.

"Where's Justin?" JC hollered as he ran to Brian.

"He's in a room, where you can't get to him" Brian said trying to defend his
actions.

"Is he okay?" Joey asked

"Yeah, he's asleep, it took awhile, and a lot of talking, but I finally
calmed him down and he fell asleep." Brian assured Joey.

"Well, not for long." JC ran down the hall screaming Justin's name.

"Knock it off" Kevin screamed as all the guys followed him. It was too late
though, a door swung open, and Justin was standing in the doorway, crying
and calling for Brian.

"Brian, Bri, I need you" Justin mumbled out in fear, as JC grabbed him by
the shirt collar.

"Get off him" Brian screamed as he ran through the other guys, but it was
too late, JC had already thrown Justin to the floor, and had begun dragging
him down the hall.  Joey and Kevin grabbed JC and Brian helped Justin up.
Justin was crying again and he wouldn't look up at Brian.

"I tried, I tried to get here fast, but I was to far down the hall, I'm
sorry, I didn't mean to." Brian tried to apologize to Justin for not being
their, when he needed him, but Justin still just sobbed.

"Go! Get out of here." Kevin barked at JC. Lance grabbed JC by the arm, and
told him something, in a whisper, the two walked off, with Chris and Joey
slowly following.

"Brian, take him into your room, and get him into a nice hot bath.  He needs
to calm down, and the heat may just soothe him." Kevin tried to help Brian
by giving him advice.

Brian took the advice with out any words, he picked Justin up and carried
him into the room.

"I didn't mean to leave you, I didn't think you would wake up." Brian
continued to apologize.  "I won't leave you again, with out you saying so."
Brian begged Justin to take his apology.

"You said, yo, you said that you would be their for me." Justin cried.  "I
needed you, and you weren't there, you weren't there." Justin continued to
cry, and sob, as Brian began to undress him.

"I know, but right now, I am here for you, and I am going to get you
showered, and cleaned up, and we are going to have dinner." Brian tried to
assure Justin.  Justin just sat their, as Brian undressed him.  Justin sat
their naked, still crying, still shaking violently.  Brian now began to
realize that Justin wasn't cold when he shook, but scared. Justin was scared
of JC, but not just that, but of being alone.  Brian picked Justin up and
carried him into the bath room, he sat Justin down as he let the tub fill
with water.  He made sure it was warm, but not to hot to burn Justin.  He
helped Justin in, and then began to wet Justin's hair.

"Why are you doing this, I don't, I don't, deserve this.  I am just being, a
ba, baby, just like JC said." Justin whimpered out timidly.

"No, you need some one, and I will be that someone, and don't worry about
JC, you won't see him for a while. I promise you. You don't have to worry
about being alone any more." Brian whispered into Justin's ear.

"Why did you say that?" Justin asked confused, while his tears still flowed.

"What?" Brian asked not understanding the question.

"Why did you say that I wouldn't be alone any more." Justin again asked,
this time clearifying the situation, but still crying.

"Because I know that what makes you shake, I know that's what you fear.
You've been alone since you started NSYNC haven't you?" Brian asked Justin,
as he continued to bathe the young man.

"I, I, I didn't have any one. They ignored me, and JC hit me, just because I
was the youngest, and because I needed some one." Justin poured out more
tears with his words.

"What? You mean he hit you all the time, not just when you did something
wrong?" Brian questioned in concern.  He looked at Justin, and even though
Justin didn't say it, Brian knew the answer was yes.

"I don't know why I stayed in the group, but I just felt like I had to, for
them.  They didn't treat me right, but I felt like I had to stick in, or
they would treat me even worse." Justin fell back wards into the tub, and
just lay their. He didn't know why, but he wasn't embarrassed to let Brian
see him vulnerable and naked.

"Well, you have some one now, and you won't be alone ever again." Brian told
Justin as he washed Justin stomach and chest with a warm wash cloth.

"Thank you. I can't say it enough, thank you." Justin muttered between even
more tears.

"For what? I just helped out a friend that's what I am here for." Brian
said.

"Yeah, but you didn't have to hold me whie I slept." Justin said, and looked
at Brian who had a shocked look on his face. " I mean it's okay that you
did, I liked it, but you didn't have to. I am used to being alone." Justin
cried ever more as Brian continued to wash him, now on his legs.

"I know, but I knew that's what you wanted, was just to be held, while you
slept.  To let you know that some one was their for you." Brian let out, as
he continued to wash Justin. He had finished all over except for Justin's
crotch and ass, and he didn't know if he should continue or let Justin do
it.

"I'll do that, I know you don't want to touch me, I couldn't be attractive
to any one, like this.  I just tried to kill myslef, and I can't stop
crying." Justin said as he grabbed the cloth from Brian.  He washed himself
and then stood up, but he fell back with tears in his eyes.  Brian caught
him, and helped him out, he wrapped a towel around him and dried him off.
Brian was now wetting, from catching Justin, but he didn't care, it was
worth it.

"I'll get you some clothes." Brian said as he went to leave the bathroom.

"Don't leave me" Brian could barely make out the words he was hearing, but
he heard them.  He ran back to Justin and hugged him tightly.

"I won't." Brian assured Justin as he helped him into the bedroom part of
the hotel.  He grabbed a pair of boxers and helped Justin get into them.  He
went for a pair of pants, but Justin rejected them. "What?" Brian questioned
Justin.

"I want to go to sleep." Justin said.  Brian helped him into the bed, and
then pulled the covers around Justin, he turned to walk over to his bed,
when he heard Justin again. "Will you hold me?" Justin pleaded in a low
voice. It wasn't loud, and it wasn't a certain voice, but Brian walked back
and laid down next to Justin.  Brian pulled Justin close to him, and Justin
laid his head down onto Brian's chest.  He was asleep in minutes, and Brian
fell asleep shortly after.

AJ MCLEANS ROOM

"Alright, we have to figure out what to do with this whole thing, we need to
get the guys of NSYNC back on good terms with us, and we need to get Justin
and Brian out of this shit." Kevin started the Backstreet Boy Meeting.

"I know, but we have to let them stay here, because we can't let them out of
our sight." AJ followed up.

"That is a general understandment, but if JC gets his hands on Justin we may
not get it to stay that way." Nick bellowed into the conversation.

"Yeah, well that is what we have to do when they get here." Howie piped up.

"What? They're coming over here?" Kevin angrily asked.

"Yeah, me and Nick figured they should come, so we could sort this shit
out." Howie answered.

"Alright, when are they coming." Kevin asked another question, this time
less angered by the situation.  Before any one could answer the question the
door swung open, and the four guys of NSYNC walked in.

"I though Justin would be here." JC asked

"Yeah well we had to lie to get you here." Chris informed him.

"Then why are we here?" JC asked

"So we can work this out, and let Justin get back into the groove of being
in a band and being on tour.  Justin probably can't handle this from every
body." Kevin answered JC.

"He's used to it." JC muttered out.  Once again in his low voice, but just
loud enough for people to hear.

"What do you mean he is used to it? He never tried to kill himself before."
Kevin questioned JC's words.

"No, but he's used to JC." Lance spoke up, while JC sat still. "Justin
deserves it, he is a baby, always crying, always, complaining, always
shaking." Lance continued. "JC is the one that keeps him in line" Lance
finished up, and the room fell silent.  Only the members of NSYNC knew this.

"Whoa, you hit him all the time?" AJ asked infuriated by Lance's statements.

"Yeah, all the time, to keep him in line, and to shut him up." JC said, with
out any remorse.  He didn't care if it got stares, he honestly felt like he
was doing the right thing by hitting Justin.

"I can't believe you guys. None of you tried to stop him, none of you ever
stopped him from hitting a kid, he's been in the band since he was 14, and
did you hit him then?" Kevin questioned JC

"Yeah, I hit him since MMC, but the first time I hit him was because he was
like my shadow.  He followed me around, and I couldn't stand it, so I socked
him in the face one day.  He cried, and then ran away, I thought he was
going to rat me out, but he didn't he just followed me around even more.  He
didn't get it then, and he doesn't get it now, I don't like him." JC
squeezed out all that he had let up in side, that he wished he could have
told some one, but never did.

"He was 12 when you started MMC, He was a fucking baby." AJ busted out.

"He couldn't defend himself, he couldn't hit you back, he couldn't even
muster up enough guts to tell some one." Chris was the next to snap. "You
never told us this shit, You never told us that you beat up a little kid, a
12 year old for christ sake." Chris didn't know why, but he was finally
beginning to see why Justin was so upset always.

"Dude, sorry but I can't stand behind your hitting him any more.  He didn't
tell any of this, why?" Joey quickly let out his feelings, and then asked
the question.

"He didn't tell you because I warned him not too." Lance was now letting out
his feelings.

"What?" Joey turned his attention to the one that always defended JC. He
didn't know why Lance would, be now it was even worse, he was the one who
was stopping Justin from informing any one.

"His mom doesn't even know, I told him that if he told he would ruin NSYNC
for all of us. I told him that if he talked about JC would hit him even
more.  And then JC did it any ways, but he never hit him more then once, and
he never left a mark, so Justin didn't tell in fear that the next time he
just might break his nose, or his arm." Lance said calmly.

"Yeah, well he had the right to fear me, because the next time it might be
more." JC hollered out.

"Oh, their won't be a next time, because I won't let you see him." Kevin
stated. "Brian and him are asleep now, I saw that, when I walked in on them,
they are both sleeping, and Justin is finally calm. You can't hit him again,
because I won't, and Brian won't either." Kevin glanced around the room.

"You don't own Justin, NSYNC does, and as the leader, I say what goes, and
what really goes is that Justin is coming back, and sharing the same room he
always has, with me." JC ordered.

"No, he's not." Joey spit out.  "He's not going any where with us any more.
He is done with the group until you can get some help JC." Joey spit out
more.

"I'm not getting help, I'm getting Justin the same help he always has had,
and that's the back of my hand." JC uttered his last words as he left the
room, and headed down the hall to Justin and Brian's room.  By this time it
was already 2 in the morning and Justin and Brian were still asleep. With
the door locked, JC knew he would have to knock.  JC walked fast, and the
others followed, trying not to be loud to wake up Justin or Brian.

"Wait up JC" Lance quietly called out to his friend.

"NO!" JC screamed back loudly. As he turned left at the end of the hall, he
got tackled by Kevin and Joey.

"Get off me." JC demanded as he threw punches, but hit nothing but air. "I'm
getting Justin, and those punches will get more then air, if you don't let
me go" JC continued to demand.

"Let him go" a voice demanded as JC was let up. Everyone stared in
astonishment as Justin stood in the doorway of his room, with Brian by his
side. Brian didn't know why, but Justin demanded him that he accompany him
to the door.

"Put some clothes on, and get away from that fag, Justin." JC demanded.
Justin looked down to realize that he was still only wearing his boxers. JC
walked closer to Justin as a threat, and Justin back off towards Brian.

"Leave him alone." Brian stepped in front of Justin.

"No, Brian this is my fight, and I am going to handle this, in the best way
I know." Justin stepped in front of Brian and looked at JC. "Hit Me!" Justin
demanded to JC. With out hesitation JC hit Justin square in the face, Justin
fell to the ground and stood back up. He was crying, and his nose was
bleeding, but he held strong. "AGAIN" Justin demanded JC to hit him again.

JC socked him in the stomach, and then in the face again. Justin fell and
tried to get up, but couldn't he laid on the floor crying.  "Happy" Justin
cried out to JC.

"It's what you wanted, you know it." JC stuttered out. "You got it, and now
we can finally get you back to the hotel room." JC went to grab Justin.
Justin backed off and scurried behind Brian's legs.

"He is staying in my room." Brian stated firmly.

"Fine." JC walked out of the hall, and into his own room. Back in the hall,
Justin was still lying on the floor.

"Why did you let JC hit him?" Every one asked each other, but not directly
towards any one.

"You didn't, I let him hit me. I let him hit me, because he needed to, and
you guys needed to understand why." Justin cried out the words, still
sobbing and clutching Brian's leg.

"I still don't understand why." Nick answered truthfully.

"JC hits me because he needs to let out his anger, and I let him, because I
don't want him to hit me any other time." Justin looked up at Brian and
Brian helped him up to his feet, holding him while he continued to cry. " I
don't want him to hit me in the night, while I'm sleeping, like he did
before." Justin continued.

"Well, just get some sleep, you didn't need this to happen." Kevin told
Justin.

"I will make sure he sleeps" Brian told Kevin.

"First we need to talk Bri." Kevin told him. Brian and Kevin walked away
from the group and Howie took the place of Brian, and let Justin cry on him.

"What's up Kev?" Brian asked

"Did you fuck him?" Kevin asked, honestly but rudely.

"NO!" Brian uttered out in astonishment by the question.

"Then why were you holding him in the bed, and why was he in nothing but
boxers?" Kevin asked, this time politely.

"He needed to be held, he doesn't like to be alone, he has a fear." Brian
answered truthfully.

"That doesn't explain why you had to hold him, or why he was in his
underwear." Kevin again stated.

"He wasn't comfortable with me just in the room, he feared that some one
would come in, like JC, and we me holding him he fell asleep.  As for the
boxers, that's all he wanted to sleep in. I'm still fully dressed, so it's
not like anything happened." Brian again answered honestly.

"Alright, but please, I know he's gay, and I know he's a cute kid and all,
but dont' take advantage of him in this time." Kevin begged Brian

"I would never do that to him, not now and I can't believe you would think
that I would." Brian answered his cousin in disgust, and then walked back to
the hallway.

BACK IN THE HALLWAY

"He's been waiting for you." Howie told Brian

"You left him in their alone?" Brian angrily asked Howie.

"Yeah, why?" Howie asked without realizing his wrong doing.

"He doesn't like being alone." Brian ran into the room looking for Justin.
He didn't find him on the bed or the floor, so he went straight into the
bathroom.  He found Justin sitting in the tub. He was shaking with fear and
coldness, since the water had not been drained, but it had cold down
dramatically.

"What are you doing?" Brian asked Justin.

"I don't know." Justin lashed out.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Brian asked Justin.  He looked at Justin still
bleeding, and still crying.  His stomach was black and blue, and his eye was
slowly turning the same colors. Brian sat down in the tub with Justin.
Justin looked up in confusion, and then back down to the water.

"You left me again." Justin sank down even lower.

"I know but Howie was supposed to stay with you. I'm sorry though." Brian
apologized to Justin, trying to rationalize what had happened earlier.

"Yeah, but Howie's not you, I don't love Howie." Justin cried harder now. He
wanted to tell Brian how he felt earlier, before they slept, but he
couldn't, but not he fell so smoothly over his tongue. He felt relieved to
get it off his chest, but even sadder that Brian was speechless. "I
understand, I told you earlier, that I knew that no one could possibly like
me after crying and now the cuts, I'm to much of baby to be loved." Justin
cried harder.

"Justin don't say that. You know it isn't true, I think the cuts make you
look cute." Brian tried to make Justin laugh, but it didn't work. Justin
still cried.  "I love you too." Brian finally said.  He meant it with all
his heart, but he didn't want to say it then.  He didn't want to capitilize
on Justin's broken spirit.

"You do." Justin asked, still crying, but not as hard.

"Yeah, ever since I took care of you, in the car, and in the hotel, and in
the bath tub, I was so happy that I was actually getting to spend time with
you, that I forgot about everything else. And I know that you did too. I was
there for you when you were scared, and I knew that I had to be." Brian let
Justin know why he felt the same way.

"I don't know what to say, but could we give it a try." Justin asked Brian,
trying to stop his tears.

"Yes, of course we can. But first we have to get you dried off, and into
some real clothes." Brian told Justin.

Brian grabbed the last of the towels and then helped Justin out of his
boxers, he then grabbed a towel for himself and took off his clothes. He
dried Justin off first and then himself.  He helped Justin into the living
room, and set him down on the bed. He grabbed a pair of briefs, a pair of
pants, and one of his own sweatshirts.  He helped Justin into the briefs,
and then the pants, and then went to put the sweatshirt on.

"That's not mine." Justin told Brian

"I know, but this away, I will be with you always." Brian said sliding the
sweat shirt onto Justin. Brian then backed away and got dressed.  He looked
over from across the room and saw that Justin was crying again. Brian ran
over and began to hug him.

"I'm sorry,I won't leave you again" Brian mustered out the words, and hugged
Justin tightly.

"That's not it. I just was crying because I was happy for once. I haven't
been happy since I was 12." Justin choked out through his tears.

"Well, that's changing now that I am here. Let's get some sleep." Brian
suggested. Justin nodded. He helped Justin up towards the top of the bed,
and pulled the covers up, he let Justin rest his head on his chest and as
Justin fell asleep, Brian kissed him good night on his forehead.

CHAPTER 2 --  PUT TO THE TEST

BRIAN LITRELL'S ROOM

It was now 10 in the morning, and Justin was still asleep.  Brian was in the
bathroom shaving.  He had turned the tv on, so Justin would know that he was
still their, if in fact Justin did wake up.  After he shaved Justin stripped
down for his shower. As he turned the water on, he heard a small moan.

"Brian, where are you?" Justin hollered looking around the room in fear. He
thought of the night before, and thought it might have been a dream.  He
wanted to cry, but Brian ran into the room, and began hugging Justin.

"Don't worry babe, I'm here for you." Brian assured Justin. Justin looked up
and noticed that Brian was naked.  He began to feel his manhood rise to
attention. Brian noticed through the blankets that Justin was happy to see
him, and then he realized that he himself was naked. "Um, oh, I am gonna get
a shower, will you be okay." Brian asked

"NO" Justin said in a sad voice.

"Why not? That is what the sweat shirt is for, as long as you wear it, I
will always be with you." Brian questioned

"I won't be okay, because you didn't ask me to join you." Justin said this
time, smiling.

"You know, that is the second time that I have seen you smile, but I think I
like it the most this time." Brian said. "But you can't shower with me.

"Why?" Justin asked, almost in tears.  He was sad, and shocked, he didn't
think Brian would turn him down.

"Becuase you still aren't up to it. You can't stand in a hot shower, you
might pass out. But I will do this." Brian assured Justin

"And what is it that you will do." Justin asked, with tears welling in his
eyes. Brian saw the tears and didn't want to dissappoint Justin.

"I will take a bath with you." Brian said smiling. Justin stopped the tears,
and let out a smirk.

"Thanks." Justin said smiling. He was relieved that Brian was going to
actually follow through with his promise. For once in his life, Justin felt
like he wouldn't be alone. Like their was something to look forward too, and
he love it.

After a few minutes they both found themselves staring into each others eyes
in the warm bath water, Justin partially laying on top of Brian and looking
up at him.  Brian began to lean down, and he kissed Justin. Justin reacted
with shock, but then followed through. Their tongues met passionately in
each other's mouths.  Brian sucked on Justin's tongue, before pulling out.
Justin was sad that it was over, but his first kiss with a guy was great.
And he knew the rest would be just as compelling.

"I really liked that." Justin stated proudly.

"I did too." Brian answered fondly looking at Justin.

"Could we maybe go farther?" Justin hesitantly asked almost pleading with
Brian.

"I don't know, you still need some rest, and the doctors said nothing
strenous." Brian sadly turned Justin's offers away.

"I know, but I just want to let you know how much, I appriciate you being
here for me." Justin smiled. Before Brian knew what was happening, Justin
was kissing his chest.  Brian began to moan, he knew it was wrong, but he
loved it. Justin worked his way down, until he found Brian's 7 and a 1/2
inch dick. He began to lick it, and work his way up and down on it. Brian's
moans became louder, and he felt himself gaining in the pleasure.

"Oh, Justin, Oh." was all Brian could say, as Justin still sucked on his
boyfriends precious gift to him.  Brian wished it wouldn't end, but he knew
he was close. "Justin, I'm, I'm, I'm" before Brian could finish, he shot his
loud, into Justin's mouth. Justin took what he could but then began to gag.
He tried harder to swallow the rest, but was forced to let it drain out into
the bath tub.

"Are you okay?" Brian questioned Justin, because Justin had a look of
sadness in his eyes.

"I just choked." Justin stated sadly.

"Well at least I know I was the first, other wise you wouldn't have choked."
Brian laughed at Justin. Justin didn't laugh, he just sat their. "Are you
okay, really?" Brian asked again.

"Don't say that again" Justin pleaded with Brian

"Say what?" Brian was hurt that he had something that he didn't even know
upset Justin.

"Don't say that you were glad I choked, and that you knew you were my first.
Was I yours? or were their others?" Justin asked Brian tears forming in his
eyes again.

"Oh, I was just joking, but I'm sorry, I didn't know it would hurt you. But
yes you were my first, I've never been given a blow job, or any other sexual
experience besides a kiss from any one else." Brian tried to assure Justin.

"Did you like it?" Justin tried to change the subject.

"Of course I did." Brian stated honestly

"Could you hold me again, like last night?" Justin asked of Brian

"Anything, just ly your head down on my chest, and relax." Brian let out his
last words, and they were followed by a knock on the hotel room door. "Shit"
Brian swore out in anger.

"Please don't answer it." Justin begged of Brian

"Brian are you in their." Kevin was the one behind the door, screaming for
Brian or Justin.

"I have to, or he'll get worried." Brian tried to tell Justin.

"Fine, get two robes." Justin asked of Brian. Brian grabbed the robes, one
for himself and one for Justin. Justin put his on and walked out onto his
bed and sat down.

"Coming Kev." Brian hollered out to his older cousin. He opened the door to
see what was up.

"Get your clothes on." Kevin told Brian.

"Why?" Brian absentmindedly asked

"Because we have a rehearsal in twenty minutes. We may be off tour, but we
still have to get the album out on time." Kevin reminded Brian.

"Um, what about him?" Brian whispered to his cousin, as he pointed towards
Justin. "I can't leave him alone, not now." Brian told Kevin.

"Bring him along." Kevin gave in to his cousin's pleas. Kevin walked out of
the room, he knew it was wrong to cave to his cousin's wishes, but he knew
that Brian needed to watch over Justin.

"I have some good news." Brian smiled walking over to Justin.

"What." Justin asked still mad that Brian had answered the door.

"You can come with me today." Brian begin to talk, not even remembering that
he had not told Justin about the rehearsal.

"Where?" Justin asked, before Brian could explain.

"To my rehearsal." Brian cleared up the confusion.

"I don't want to." Justin stated

"But, I don't to leave you alone." Brian pleaded with Justin, trying to
convince him to stay.

"Then stay here, and just hold me in the bed, that's all I want." Justin
began to cry, not holding back his tears any more. He needed to cry again,
this time with frustration, he wanted to spend the day with Brian, but he
didn't want to go out in public.

"I wish we could, but I have to go, and you have to come with me. Please, I
need to know that you are okay." Brian began to plead with Justin, trying to
stop him from crying.

"Alright" Justin continued to cry, but managed to get out the one word. He
grabbed some clothes and changed as Brian changed too.  Brian wrapped his
arms around Justin and began to walk out of the room.

They walked out of the room and down to the limo. As they got in, every one
looked up.

"Oh, hey Justin" Nick said, at first questioning why he was their, but then
understanding.

"Hey Nick." Justin replied.

"So did you get some sleep last night, after the um, fight..?" Howie asked.

"Yeah, a lot, I had a great guy with me to comfort me." Justin responded
smiling to Brian. Brian was not smiling how ever, he didn't want the group
to know about them, not yet. "What's wrong?" Justin asked Brian.

"I don't want to tell them yet." Brian whispered to Justin.

"I didn't." Justin whispered back.

"But they will figure it out." Brian continued the whispers, back and forth.

"Sorry, I won't talk any more." Justin ended the whispering, and the
conversation. The others in the car spoke, but Justin said no more words,
even Brian spoke, trying not to let on that something was wrong, but what he
really wanted to do was to apologize to Justin in front of every one.

"What's wrong with him?" Kevin whispered to Brian.

"Nothing." Brian tried to assure Kevin.

"Are you sure." Kevin asked Brian. By this time their were no whispers and
the group was now listening to Brian and Kevin, all except for Justin.

"Yeah, I'm sure, just a little tired, I guess." Brian tried to tell them
what was wrong with Justin, but he couldn't tell them the truth.

"Alright, just make sure that he is okay, because you know he won't see you
for most of the day." Kevin said this time getting a look from Justin.

"Huh." Justin questioned.

"Yeah, we have a lot of work to do, so we figured you could hang out with
the crew and stuff. You know while we did the stuff, and then on breaks you
could hang out." Kevin answered sadly.

"Why'd I even come", Justin whispered so that no one could hear but Brian.

"Because I love you." Brian replied loud enough for everyone to hear. Justin
looked up in happiness. He was glad Brian was going to tell them.

"Guys, I have an announcement. Justin and I started dating last night."
Brian proudly announced.

"Whoa." Nick was the first to commment. He had been okay with Brian being
gay, but he was a little taken back by his best friends first real
boyfriend.

"I think what Nick means is congratulations." Howie said.

"Yeah" Nick answered out.

"We are all happy for you." AJ spoke up. Kevin did not comment as he just
thought about the whole situation. He knew it was great, Justin would be
happy, and now that Brian was his boyfriend, he would be happy all the time.

"So, did you to, ya know, have um..."AJ didn't know how to say it.

"No, we didn't." Brian stated flat out. He didn't want to make it a big
deal, because Justin didn't say how he felt about having sex. He didn't know
if Justin would let him. It was a fear Brian had had since he became gay,
would he find some one that would let him, and trust him enough to have sex
with that person.

"Not yet." Justin added. Smiling at Brian.  The others smiled too, something
about Justin's confidence made the limo a little happier.

"So, you've kissed right.."Nick asked with a wierd face.

"Yeah" Brian answered.

"Was it the same as a kiss from a girl." Nick asked, the other looked around
shocked, but they knew that Nick was just trying to make his friend feel at
ease, not interrogate him.

"No, it was better for me. It had meaning." Brian answered, and every one
turned their attention to Justin.

"I don't know." Justin slipped out.

"You don't know, didn't you like it." Howie questioned.

"Of course I did, it's just, I never, I um, that was my first kiss, with um,
any one." Justin stuttered out.

"Really" Brian asked. Every one looked at him with astonishment. The group
would have thought that Justin would have had plenty of girls, being the
cute one of NSYNC, but some how after finding out about Justin's past, they
all could understand it.

"Yeah" Justin said. He was embarrassed by having all the attention.

"You mean not once, not even Brittany, or anything." Nick let out his words
with out thinking.

"I never liked girls, and I didn't think I liked guys either, until a little
while ago. I came out and every one in the group hated me. That's why I
tried to kill myself. I was 19, hadn't kissed a girl, I liked guys, and I
couldn't even get one. Justin said, this time not embarrassed but sad. He
hated telling people his feelings, especially to some one who he loved. He
was usually tightly bound, and didn't let anything out, but he felt like he
could trust these guys, unlike his band members.

"It's okay, you don't have to feel alone any more, you have me now." Brian
hugged Justin, kissing him on the forehead.

"And us." Kevin broke his silence. He had not said anything earlier, but he
now felt was the time to let Justin know how he felt. "We will be here for
you, and you can trust us with anything." Kevin let out the last of his
words.

"Yeah" Nick answered. AJ and Howie nodded in agreement.

"Thanks, guys" Brian thanked his fellow bandmates for making Justin feel
welcome.

"No prob" AJ answered, as Justin continued to cry on Brian's shoulder.  The
car ride was silent, besides Justin's sobs. The boys didn't complain though,
they knew that this is what Justin needed. He needed to get rid of his past,
and embrace his future.


THE STUDIO DRESSING ROOM

"Um, would you mind leaving?" Nick asked Justin when they entered.

"Yeah, no problem, I'm sure you guys don't want me to see you get dressed."
Justin was sad, but knew it was the truth, as he walked out, Kevin grabbed
his arm, Justin instinctively put up his other arm to shield his face.
Kevin let go, and pulled Justin into a hugh.

"I wasn't going to hit, I was just going to tell you that you didn't have to
leave." Kevin told Justin. Justin nodded, and ran over to Brian. Brian
hugged him. "I love you Justin" Brian assure Justin.

"I know, I didn't mean to cower in fear, but I just, I don't, I just did
it." Justin stuttered out.

"Could you guys give us a minute?" Brian asked the group.

"Yeah. Just holler when your done." Nick told Brian patting him on the back.

"Thanks" Brian told the guys. As AJ left the room, he shut the door,
leaving, Brian and Justin alone on the couch, Justin crying in Brian's arms.

"I don't know why I did it, so don't even ask." Justin got aprehensive and
answered the question he thought Brian was going to ask.

"I wasn't go to say anything, I was just going to hold you." Brian told
Justin.

"Sorry, but, it's just, I still have that fear." Justin continued to cry.
Brian picked Justin up to his feet, and walked towards the door. "Where are
we going?" Justin asked.

"You'll see." Brian assured Justin.

"Please, Brian, I don't like surprises, I don't." Justin started to sob.

"Alright, I am just going to let you watch us, I am going to get you a seat,
right up front of the stage." Brian tried to calm down Justin. Justin
continued to cry as the group headed to the stage.  No one asked the two
what had happened, they knew that Justin was going to watch them and they
were fine with it.

"Alright boys, let's get to work." Fatima the boys choreographer ordered. As
she finished she looked around, and saw Justin sitting in a chair near her
crying. "You're Justin Timberlake from NSYNC aren't you?" she asked. After
getting no response she asked a new question. "Are you okay?" she recieved
no answer as Justin just sulked.

"Cut" She yelled. The boys wondered what had happened, because none of them
had screwed up. "Would some one mind telling me what is wrong with Justin
here." She asked. Brian ran over, and hugged Justin.

"I wanna go home" Justin whispered to Brian.

"We can't. You know I have to finish." Brian pleaded with Justin.

"I know, but I can't get over my fear, I was afraid Kevin would hit me,
Kevin, your own cousin, I know some one close to you would never hurt me,
but I still cowered in the my own shadow, like a little baby." Justin
continued to cry.

"No, you just need to get to get over it, and it will take a while, but we
are all here for you." Brian kissed Justin's forehead, forgetting that
Fatima was looking right at them.

"Would some one mind telling me what is going on, and why that young man is
so upset." Fatima asked again, this time more anger in voice.

"Um, he's just a little scared about something, it'll be fine." Brian
answered her questions, and then walked back onto the stage.

"Alright, as long as we are stopped, take a break." Fatima finally stated.
She walked out of the room with a perplexed look. Brian headed back and
grabbed Justin by the hand, come on. Justin followed Brian.

"Where are we?" Justin asked still crying.

"We are here. And as long as we are here, I thought that maybe I could calm
you down." Brian pointed down, and began to unzip Justin's pants. Justin
shook with fear, but not fear of being hurt, but fear from being nervous.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you, and if you want me to stop I will, but this
is just a thank you for this morning." Brian said as he knelt down to get
closer to Justin's 8 inch penis.  He begin to take in the smell, Justin
shook as Brian took the penis in his hands. He began to stroke it on the
under side, with two fingers, each softly caressing Justin, kindly. Justin
moaned in pleasure, loudly. "Oh, Brian,uhhhh." Justin moaned, as Brian
finally took the dick into his mouth, he worked his way around it, gagging
once, but continueing. He licked the underside, as he moved on and off the
young man's body part.  "Oh, yeah, their, I, umm.." Justin yelled out again,
as Brian began to suck faster, and squeeze Justin's ass at the same time.
The feeling of someone squeezing his ass was a shock to him, but he let it
go, as he fell into the same pleasure he had delivered to Brian earlier.
"I'm, close, uimmmm I, gonna, cum, ohhhhhh." Justin let out the grunt of
words as he spewed his juices into Brian's mouth. Brian took it all in
swallowing it all. He looked up at Justin to see a smile on his face, Brian
stood up and pull up Justin's pants for him.

Justin began to step back, and almost fell backward, he caught his balance
and fell onto Brian's shoulders. Brian looked up and laughed.

"What's so funny?" Justin barely could get it out, between heavy pants.

"Oh nothing, just how weak you are after one of these is funny." Brian
laughed at Justin.

"Yeah well, maybe I won't let you do it again after that comment." Justin
sarcastically replied.

"Please." Brian looked at him with puppy dog eyes.

"Alright, it was great, and I would let you do it anytime." Justin finally
said laughing.

"Great, now let's get back before they think we got hit by a bus or
something." Brian helped Justin walk most of the distance. Brian really did
find it amusing, how weak-kneed Justin become after the experience. Almost
like it was the first time he came. Brian began to question himself. 'Maybe
it is the first time he actually did cum?' Brian shook off the question.

"There you are" Howie called out.  The whole group turned around to see
Brian helping Justin over.

"Is something wrong?" Nick questioned.

"Nope, everything is fine." Justin answered. "I just lost my balance" Justin
finished up.

"Sure" AJ smirked at the two, he knew what was going on. He had been their
before, and he knew what it felt like.

"What do you mean?" Kevin asked AJ

"I just mean sure." AJ answered trying to cover. "Like alright, I believe
you, sure."

"Okay" Kevin decided to drop it. Brian, Kevin, Nick, and Howie, all walked
on stage, but AJ stayed back for a minute. He wanted to talk to Justin.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute." AJ called for Justin to turn around
from his chair.

"Yeah, what's up?" Justin offered his ears to AJ

"So it was your first time experiencing pleasure, huh?" AJ smiled a devious
grin at Justin.

"Um, Uhh, Well, Um..." Justin didn't know what to say. He was shocked that
AJ could tell. "Yeah, I guess." Justin answered embarrassed by his
inexperienced actions.

"That's cool. I mean it was pretty obvious, you couldn't walk by yourself,
the smile, the glazed eyes, and well just the look you have on your face."
AJ tried to assure Justin.

"Do you think every one else could tell, I mean do you think Brian knew?"
Justin asked AJ.

"Nah, the other guys weren't really paying attention." AJ told Justin,
trying to assure him that no one else had noticed Justin's trance like state
after the experience.

"What about Brian?" Justin asked.

"I don't know, didn't you tell him that it was your first time to cum." AJ
thought Justin would have told him, but it had never crossed Justin's mind
until now.

"I didn't want him to think I was a baby like every one else. I didn't want
him to know that I didn't have any experience with any one." Justin said
finally, still embarrassed by the whole situation.

"Well maybe you should tell him. He might even be happy that he was your
first sexual pleasing partner." AJ tried to make Justin smile, and it
worked.

"Thanks" Justin said, but was startled when AJ picked him and hugged him.

"Yeah well, don't get too happy that I hugged you, but you are a good friend
now, you don't need to thank me, you need to hug me." AJ laughed and walked
away.  Justin no longer felt sad, he knew that the guys were right their,
and that although Brian wasn't holding him, that he was their watching him.

JC'S ROOM BACK AT THE HOTEL

"What are we going to do?" Lance asked JC

"I don't know." JC answered back. They were alone, Chris and Joey went to
the pool to swim and think about the other day's occurrences.

"We just can't let the band crumble because of this." Lance snapped back.

"Well what do you propose we do then, we can't get them back through
anything but the old way. The same way we got Justin back all those other
times. We have to show him whose in charge." JC answered the question, this
time with ease.

"But, he's got every one on his side, even Joey and Chris have turned their
backs. It's just me and you." Lance said as he kissed JC's neck. JC moaned
out in pleasure.

"Yeah well, you and me do it pretty good." JC smiled.

Lance and JC stood up and took their clothes off, Lance bent down and JC
worked his cock into his ass. Lance moaned in pain at first, but after
adjusting, let JC ride him. JC worked hard, pushing in and out. He started
to moan as he was close to cumming, and in an instant yelled out a name.
"Oh, Brittany, yeah." JC let out his cum, and pulled out of Lance. Lance was
got up and jerked himself off, he came with in minutes after relieving JC
inside of him.

The sex was just sex. Neither took it as any more, especially  JC who just
fucked Lance for fun.

THE STUDIO

The Boy's finished their practice and Justin was walking around the stage as
they got dressed. He decided it would be best if he just waited outside.

"So are you really okay?" Fatima was standing behind Justin.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just going through a lot lately." Justin answered her with
ease.

"Well, at least you have Brian to comfort you." Fatima let it out as if it
was nothing to mention.

"Um, how did you, um, know?" Justin asked her

"Oh, I knew Brian was gay, when he came out, he told us all, and then when
you were crying, and he came over to you, even though you didn't stop
crying, I knew that even him hugging you made you a little happier."
Fatima's words were of wisdom she was speaking the truth, and it all come
from just watching a few minutes of the two being together.

"Oh" Justin said.

"So, the famous Justin Timberlake of NSYNC is gay, and dating my Backstreet
Boy's very own Brian Litrell. Talk about a story for the press." Fatima
joked with Justin. Justin looked up at first, to see if she was really
joking, but once he saw her face, he knew she wouldn't say a word.

"Thanks, for not telling any one" Justin said laughing back.

"Yeah well, just wait and see, the papers come out Sunday, little man."
Fatima continued the joking conversation.

"So I see that you finally officially met each other." Brian questioned as
he walked closer.

"Yeah, I met your boyfriend" Fatima winked back Brian, he was a little taken
aback, but he knew that Fatima would have caught on sooner or later, so it
wasn't much of a deal for him.

"Well, isn't he the best." Brian winked back.

"Yeah, if you like cute, teenage blonds, with muscles, and a sensitive
side." Fatima let out with a sigh and a laugh.

"Yeah, well I do." Brian laughed back. "Ready to go babe" Brian asked of
Justin.

"Yeah, back to the hotel?" Justin asked with a more of a plea then a
question.

"If you want." Brian said.

"Great. It was nice meeting you Fatima, I'm really glad that you were so
nice." Justin said as they began to leave.

"You too Justin. Sorry about what ever is bothering you, but I know Justin
can take care of you." Fatima yelled back as Justin walked out the doors.

HOTEL POOL

"So are we going to side up with JC, or Justin?" Chris asked Joey.

"I don't know about you, but I am siding with Justin" Joey answered

"I'm with you. I just can't let JC do this any more. He fucks with that kids
mind, and he tries to kill himself, and then in the same day, he beats the
shit out of him." Chris complained.

"Yeah, well Justin's happy now with Brian." Joey sighed.

"I know, but are they dating?" Chris asked

"I don't know, it looks like it, and Brian acts like it, but I can't tell
anything from Justin any more." Joey answered

THE BSB LIMO RIDE

"So how did you like our dancing Justin?" AJ asked as they piled in the
limo.

"It was great.  Fatima is a really nice lady." Justin blurted out.

"I asked how you liked our dancing, not our dance teacher." AJ teased with
Justin.

"Yeah well, that was okay." Justin kidded back. After every one was piled
in, the ride became enjoyable, Justin, Brian, and AJ sat on one side, with
Nick, Kevin and Howie on the other. Kevin and Howie were in a conversation
about the next tour the group was doing, and Nick was playing a video game.
AJ was staring out the window, and Justin decided to make his move.  He
leaned in and kissed Brian, the kiss became more powerful as Brian pushed
his tongue into Justin's mouth. The kiss became overpowering, as Justin
began to moan. His pants were stretching at the feel of his dick trying to
break free.

"I see that I didn't handle the problem." Brian joked with Justin

"You did just fine." Justin answered him "But I wanted to talk to you about
it."

"Yeah, go ahead." Brian wondered what Justin was going to say. Maybe he
didn't like it, maybe he decided he wasn't gay any more, maybe he didn't
like Brian anymore.

"Um, well, that was my first..um..."Justin tried to speak, and Brian looked
at him.

"Don't worry, you were the first person to give me a blow job too." Brian
told Justin.

"That's not it." Justin said, his face turning red. "You were the first time
I ever came, the first time I ever experience anything sexual." Justin spit
out, not looking up. AJ looked over, and noticed that Justin was spying the
floor, he knew that Justin was probably telling Brian and decided to stay
out of it.

"Well, that's okay, I kinda feel special then." Brian declared.

"Really?" Justin slipped out what he didn't want to say.

"Yeah, what did you think I would be mad or something?" Brian asked in
confusion.

"Well, I just thought that you would think, that I was a, um, baby or
something." Justin stuttered out.

"I would never think that. Never, I look at you like a man, my man." Brian
assured Justin.

"Really? I never thought any one would look at me like that." Justin said
softly.

"Yeah, well I do, so get used to it." Brian teased. "In fact I am so proud
that I was the reason you came for the first time, I am just going to have
to shout it from the mountain tops." Brian began to open his mouth again.

"Hey guys, listen to this. I was the reason Justin had his first...." before
Brian could finish Justin began to kiss him, he knew it was the only way
that he could get him to shut up.  Justin was thrown back when he felt some
one tap him on the shoulder. Justin turned around to see AJ.

"Aren't you happy you told him?" AJ asked Justin.

"Yeah, thanks." Justin said, but as he said thanks, he got a weird look from
AJ.

"What did I tell you?" AJ inquisitioned.

"Oh yeah." Justin finished his statement, and hugged AJ.

"What was that all about, trying to take my man." Brian playfully punched AJ
on the arm. AJ playfully punched him back, and then gave Justin a little
elbow to the arm. Justin flinched, and then grabbed Brian's hand.

"What's wrong, did I hurt you?" AJ asked out of fear. "I didn't mean to, I
swear." AJ let out the last words.

"It's okay, he has just got a lot on his mind right now." Brian said as
Justin relaxed again.

"Sorry I reacted like that AJ, can I have a hug?" Justin apologized and
looked at AJ.

"Sure" AJ hugged Justin, unsure why Justin was so shaken up by the nudge, he
still let it off as just a lot on Justin's mind like Brian had said.

BACK AT JC'S ROOM

"So you wanna go at it again?" Lance asked JC

"Nah, I gotta go find myself a girl at a club or something." JC insisted.

"You know I can be just as good as any girl." Lance playfully tugged at JC
pants.

"Yeah well maybe just a quick suck, and then I'm outta here." JC gave in.
Lance went down on JC, and quickly took out the 9 inch meat that JC had.
Lance loved how big it was, and how great it felt in his mouth and his ass.
He began to take it in his mouth.

"OH Fuck, that's it Lance, do it, yeah." JC moaned out in pleasure.

"What?" Lance stopped what he was doing and looked up.

"What do you mean What?" JC questioned him as he pulled up his pants.

"You just said my name." Lance was wondering why, out of all the times they
had sex, or he sucked JC off, JC always screamed out a girl's name.

"Yeah, well I got caught up in the moment, now are you coming to the club
with me?" JC let go of the subject.

"Yeah let me grab my shoes." Lance passed it off. He knew JC was straight.
And so was he, he just liked to let out his frustration by pleasing someone,
at least he though.

THE LIMO RIDE

"We're almost their." Kevin informed the rest of the men in the car.

"Great, I want to get a swim in before it gets late." Brian blurted out.

"Were you going to ask me?" Justin asked.

"Well, I still wasn't finished with my first statement. Everyone I was the
reason for Brian's first ..."

Once again Brian and Justin began to kiss, this time it was initiated by
Brian. who was never going to say the full sentence, he just wanted to kiss
Justin.  The two held together, as Brian probed Justin's mouth, licking
around, and finally pulling out and licking Justin's lips.

"You were saying?" Howie questioned Brian

"Oh forget it." Brian said. As long as he knew it and didn't tell he had a
hold over Justin.

"I know." AJ blurted out.

"What?" Justin busted out laughing, realizing that they were going to have
fun with him.

"You do." Brian asked.

"Yeah, I told him before you started your second round of practice earlier.
He kinda could tell." Justin answered for AJ.

"Oh, I was hoping I would have been the first one to know, but okay." Brian
stated.

"What, that Justin had his first cumming today?" Nick let it out, as Howie
and Kevin started to laugh with him.

"You all knew?" Justin asked his face read with embarrassment.

"Yeah, the way you were walking was a big giveaway, I mean, come on, it
makes every one a little woosy, but it doesn't affect any one that way,
unless it is their first." Kevin let out his fatherly advice and knowledge.

"Oh, I didn't know I was that obvious." Justin remarked, he now felt like a
little baby again, just like he always did when he was with the guys of
NSYNC.

"Don't worry, were just kidding." AJ tried to lighten the mood, as he
noticed the look that Justin had on his face."

"Yeah well, knock it off." Justin snapped out, before turning his head out
the window.

"Whoa, were sorry, I didn't think it would hurt you this much.  We really
are, and I speak for everyone." Kevin said.

"Yeah" the rest of them said in unison as Brian tried to comfort Justin,
even though Justin wouldn't turn around.

"If I want to get teased, I will go to my band, I thought you guys were
different, especially you Brian." Justin hissed out his words low and quick.

"I didn't say anything, I just laughed, and I couldn't help it.  They are
just showing you how much we like you, we tease every one." Brian still
tried to assure Justin that it wasn't anything to do with him.

"Yeah, but it was a big deal for me, and then you and AJ told every one."
Justin blurted out, still staring out the window. Not letting any one
realize he was crying.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I just thought you might like to be a part of
the conversation, a part of the joke. A part of the group." AJ stuttered
out, trying to make up for what he did.

"Well, I thought I was before, before I was the joke." Justin turned to look
at the guys, now showing them that he was crying.

"You weren't the joke, you were just in the joke." Howie told him. Justin
still cried, but would not let Brian hold him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you guys, I just have to get used to some
things, it'll take time." Justin leaned back into his chair, and felt
something tightly wrap around him, it wasn't Brian, but every one.  All the
guys were hugging Justin.

"Don't worry about it, we're sorry for doing it." AJ let go of the hug and
fell back into his seat.

"Do you forgive me too?" Brian asked with out looking at Justin. He feared
what Justin may have to say.  He knew Justin was still mad. But for some
reason he had dropped it.

"Maybe" Justin stated out.

"Maybe? What if I promise you a repeat performance?" Brian smirked at
Justin.

"I don't know, not if I have to have this repeat performance." Justin smiled
back.

"Don't worry you won't." Brian assured Justin.  Brian began to suck on
Justin's neck.  He kissed numerous spots, as Justin moaned.  Brian found the
perfect spot, and made a nice, medium sized hickey in Justin's skin. "Make
sure to wear a turtle neck for the next few days." Brian laughed.

"Why?"Justin laughed back. "I want people to see it." Justin teased.

"Yeah, well, we don't want people to think that you and Brittany are the
real deal." Brian teased back, thinking of all the tabloid hype surrounding
Justin and Brian.

"I don't think so." Justin smiled as he kissed Brian on the cheek. "You are
the only one for me."

"I love you." Brian whispered into Justin's ear.  Shock waves went through
Justin's body.  He couldn't believe that he was actually dating Brian
Litrell.  He leaned forward, and whispered into Brian's ears the repsonse
Brian had been waiting for.

"I love you too." Justin laid his head down, and let the rest of the ride
carry him home.  It seemed like an hour had passed, but it was really just
10 minutes since the long arguement, as they pulled into the hotel back lot.

"Alright boys, get to your rooms before the paparazzi, and the horny teenage
girls jump us." Kevin joked with the guys.

"Yes daddy." Howie said smiling up at Kevin like a small child.

"I mean it though, hurry up, so we don't get spotted." Kevin reassured the
guys of his seriousness. "Doors open, and make a dash on the count of 1, 2,
3...."

All the guys took a run for it, as they entered the building.  Justin was
the last to enter.  He was panting. He hadn't had a real run in a while, and
he realized how exhausting it was.

"Beddy Bye time boys.  See ya all in the morning." Howie yelled out as he
caught the elevator.

"I'm gonna grab a snack at the restaruant, any one want to come?" Nick
questioned the group.

"Yeah, I could use a munchie or two." AJ said as he followed Nick to the
restaruant.

"I'm gonna hit the hay. See you two in the morning." Kevin told Brian and
Justin as he walked out.  Justin didn't know what to do, he could go back to
the room and get some sleep, but he knew Brian really wanted to swim.

"Can we go swimming?" Brian questioned, as soon as the thought had popped
into Justin's mind.

"I guess, but only if I can have a kiss first." Justin boldy asked.

"Here? I mean in front of every one?" Brian was astonished by the question.

"Yes, just a peck. Please?" Justin begged of Brian.  Brian leaned in and
gave Justin a small peck on the lips.  It was fast, but it still appealed to
Justin. "Thanks" Justin assured Brian that he liked it.

"Alright, let's go get changed and go swimming." Brian rushed to get the
elevator.

"What's your hurry?" Justin said.

"I don't know, I like swimming." Brian laughed off the question. Justin
entered the elevator with Brian. Their were three other people in the
elevator, so Brian could not flirt with Justin like he would have done other
wise.

"Our stop." Brian muttered out as he and Justin made their way out of the
elevator.  As Brian looked up, JC and Lance were right in his face.

"Where were you today Justin?" JC asked of his fellow bandmate.

"Um, I was at the guys rehearsal." Justin answered timidly.

"Why didn't you tell us?" JC asked another question this time louder, and
more agressively.

"Because we got up and left, he didn't have any time to." Brian answered
standing in front of Justin.

"Hey, where'd you get this from Justin." Lance snickered as he saw the small
hickey on his neck. "Did your girlfriend give it to you." Lance joked,
knowing that it would upset Justin.

"No" Justin mustered enough guts to say.  He felt no fear towards Lance, but
he knew that JC would defend Lance, so he left it at the one word.

"Where from then?" JC now asked. Staring at Brian.

"From Brian" Justin timidly answered again. He feared JC, but he couldn't
run, he couldn't cry, he just stood their, frozen.

"What?" JC asked angered by Justin's answer. "I didn't hear you, speak up
baby." JC laughed although rather annoyed, he found it fun to tease Justin.

"Um, Uh, I wanna go to my room now." Justin finally let out his words.

"Alright, let's go." JC said as he grabbed Justin's arm. Justin felt the
tight grip,and tried to fight back.  Brian grabbed at JC, but Lance pushed
Brian back.

"Take it from me, don't piss us off." Lance warned Brian. But Brian through
Lance to the ground.

"Let go of him" Brian screamed after JC. By now Justin was crying, his arm
was in pain, as JC twisted it and held it tightly.  Brian couldn't catch up
to them before the impact was felt.

Joey had punched JC square in the face.  Chris helped Justin to his feet,
and Justin ran to Brian.

"I meant our room" Justin cried.

"I know, it's okay" Brian assured Justin. "Thanks, I don't know what would
have happened, if you didn't show up." Brian looked at Chris and Joey.

"Yeah, well, it's time we make amends, for this little guy. We have treated
him like jackasses for being gay, but we are cool with it, we were just
adjusting." Joey spoke up.

"We had a talk today at the pool, and we decided that we would defend him."
Chris now saw his chance to speak. "And now was the perfect time to stand up
to JC" Chris continued.

"Now take him back to your room, and get him to bed.  Oh, and make sure that
the only red marks he gets from now on, are from your mouth, not JC's
hands." Joey laughed, as he pointed to the hickey.

"Good night." Was all that Brian could muster out.  He was happy Joey and
Chris had stepped in, but Lance was still waiting by the door.  Probably to
make sure that Justin didn't come back.

"Move." Brian warned Lance.

"Where's JC?" Lance asked

"Move." Brian warned again.

"Where is he?" Lance asked again

"On the floor, move." Brian warned again.

"Why?" Lance asked without moving.

"Because Joey hit him" Brian laughed it out.

"What?" Lance questioned stepping aside.

"Stunned, don't be, they have some real guts, now go take care of JC before
he comes back." Brian continued to laugh.

"Shit." Lance walked off, in confusion.

THE RESTARUANT

Joey and Chris walked into the restaruant looking around for a table, and
spotted Nick and AJ at the bar, they walked over and sat down.

"What are you two doing down here so late?" Joey asked the Nick

"We just got back, with Justin." Nick answered.

"Yeah we saw." Chris laughed.

"What's so funny?" AJ asked

"We kinda helped out." Chris laughed more.

"How?" AJ continued his questions.

"Well we got up to the room and watched JC pulling Justin down the hall,
twisting his wrist, Lance was holding Brian back, and so when JC turned the
corner, I socked him in the face." Joey smiled

"Really?" AJ questioned.

"I mean you guys were jackasses to Justin...why?" Nick too looked shocked by
the words uttered from Joey.

"Because we realized what we did, and knew we had to start making amends."
Chris answered still laughing. The four boys drank, as the bar began to
dwindle in number, back upstairs, Justin was getting his sponge bath from
Brian.

BRIAN'S ROOM

"You don't have to bathe me anymore." Justin said, his face still soaked
with the stains of tears.  His arm still red from the draggin he had gotten.

"Yes I do, I'm your boyfriend, and you aren't up for it." Brian told Justin
in a matter of fact way.

"Yeah, well, I can do it myself. I'm an adult, I'll get over it." Justin
stuttered out, as he realized that Brian was doing this because he only felt
love for him. He didn't want to hurt Brian, but he had to do this for
himself.

"Please, just let me. You will feel alot better if you just relax, and try
and sleep while I bathe you." Brian told Justin.

"Alright" Justin slipped out the word as he felt himself relax in the hands
of Brian.  Brian washed Justin, this time doing the dick and ass himself. He
felt comfortable with touching Justin any where now.  He couldn't believe
that it was only 24 hours or so ago, that Justin had told him how he felt.

"I love you too." Brian said aloud, not realizing it.

"Huh" Justin questioned as he stared around, not remembering where he was.
"Did you say something?" Justin asked as he came around.

"No, you must have been dreaming." Brian passed it off, he didn't want
Justin to know that he was thinking about the night before.

"I love you too, ya know." Justin laughed.

"Get out of the tub big boy." Brian ordered.

"But I thought you were doing that kind of stuff for me." Justin looked into
Brian's eyes pleading. He didn't want to be pampered, but he really wasn't
strong enough to stand after the incident that occured in the hall.

"You said you were a big boy, but I guess if you want I can do it." Brian
laughed helping Justin out, he wrapped Justin up, and dried him off.

"You know what?" Justin asked Brian

"No, what?" Brian inquisitively asked Justin

"I want you to um, well I want you to...nevermind." Justin couldn't say what
he felt. He wanted Brian to make love to him, but he couldn't muster out his
feelings to tell him.

"What? You can tell me, you know you can." Brian looked at Justin with eyes
that screamed this man has a heart of gold. Justin knew he could tell him,
he knew that Brian would be gentle, but he couldn't say it now.

"Nevermind." Justin said again, pulling some of his clothes off the bed.

"Let me help you." Brian helped Justin into his boxers, and then his pants.
He let Justin put his own shirt on.

"Thanks." Justin muttered out as he sat down on the bed. He grabbed his
legs, and sat in a ball. He didn't want to cry, but he knew if he didn't
tell Brian, he would.

"Can you please tell me what is bothering you?" Brian pleaded with Justin.

"I want you to, um, I want you, I can't say it. I don't know how." Justin
stuttered out, now crying.

"You want me to what, please just tell me, do you want me to hold you, or
help you sleep, what?" Brian contined his pleas, while Justin cried.

"I want you to make love to me."Justin slammed out his words.

"Really?" Brian fell back in shock. He had wanted to, but he didn't know if
Justin would have let him, but now he knew, and he felt bad that it had
upset Justin so bad.

"Yeah, is that so hard to believe." Justin said still crying.

"No, I mean, I have wanted to, but I didn't know if you would let me." Brian
told Justin what he had been thinking moments ealier.

"So you will?" Justin looked deep into Brian's eyes, looking for an answer.

"Yes, of course." Brian kissed Justin cheek, as Justin undressed himself.
Brian took off his clothes, and kiss Justin on the lips, but only for a
brief second.  By this time Justin had stopped crying.  He was smiling. "Do
you want me to start?" Brian asked Justin.

"Yeah." Justin let Brian know. Justin lowered himself onto, he could feel
the pain of Brian entering him, but he stayed quiet.

"Are you okay?" Brian stopped to ask Justin.

"Yeah, just as long as you hold me while we do it, I will be" Justin said as
he sat staring into Brian's eyes.  Brian wrapped his arms around Justin, as
he went fully into Justin.  Justin was feeling pain, and pleasure, he cried
tears, but cried in pleasure.

"Brian, um, ohhhhh,, uhhhhh" Justin cried in pain, mixing with his pleasure,
Brian wrapped his arms tighter around Justin, and stopped pumping.

"Do you want me to stop? We don't have to do it now. We can wait?" Brian
asked Justin.

"Please?"Justin looked up. Brian was confused and asked again.

"Do you want me to stop?" Brian asked

"Yes" Justin stuttured out. He was in shock that he would ask Brian to stop,
but his body couldn't handle all the pain.  Brian pulled out of Justin and
Justin pulled on his clothes.  Brian got his clothes on and smiled at
Justin.

"Thank you."Brian kissed Justin on the forehead.

"Why? I ruined your night, and I backed out." Justin cried, tears still
flowing from the pain, and now the pain of having to look  Brian in the
eyes.

"Because you saved the night. You told me you wanted me to stop, and I did.
I don't want to do this until you are positive." Brian kissed Justin on the
forehead again.

"I still feel bad." Justin looked at Brian. "Do you want me to, well you
know." Justin pointed to Brian's crotch.

"No, you don't have to, you need your sleep. Stop worrying about it, you
made the right decision." Brian was speaking honestly, a quality he couldn't
get rid of. Brian rarely lied, and he found himself never lieing to Justin.

"Will you hold me, while I sleep?" Justin asked Brian

"Don't I always." Brian laughed and laid in the bed with Justin.  Justin put
his head on Brian's chest, and tightly wrapped his arms around Brian. "I
love you, I always will." Brian whispered into Justin's ears, as Justin lay
sleeping.

THE END

**I hope you like the first one. I know their wasn't much sexual scenes, but
I have to get started with the story, before the sex can come in.**

**Also, the story will broaden more as time goes, but for now it will mostly
concern, Brian, Justin, JC, AJ, and Lance.  All the characters will be in
each chapter though.**

**Please send all criticism to aci_85@hotmail.com (It really is
appriciated)**