Date: Mon, 21 Aug 2000 13:31:53 EDT From: Adam I <aci_85@hotmail.com> Subject: Loneliness Unmasked - Chap. 9 and Chap. 10 Legal Disclaimer - All members of The Backstreet Boys and NSYNC are written in fictious roles in this story. This story is a complete work of fiction based on my writing. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ CHAPTER 9 -- SOLO ACT Sunday passed by in a heart beat. After the rehearsal, Justin, The Backstreet Boys, and Brittany went out to a late dinner, and then found themselves all asleep in there hotel rooms by 10. Monday morning came and the afternoon passed by quickly. Justin found himself sitting in the dressing room while the guys got dressed. It was 6:45, 15 minutes before the show started. He was wearing a pair of jeans, a grey tanktop, and his hair was messed up. "I wish you would have done your hair today." Brian walked over to the couch to run his hands through Justin's short locks. Justin frowned at his fiance's displeasure in his looks. "I think it makes you look cute though." Brian smiled. His real reason behind the need for Justin to do his hair was because of his surprise that awaited him. "I gotta go wait, are you gonna watch from the side?" "Yeah, I'll be there in a while, I just wanna relax for a little bit." "Alright, I love you." "I love you too." Brian ran out of the room with a smile on his face. It wasn't an often thing that Brian smiled when he left Justin, but he couldn't help but feel excited for what he was going to do later on in the night. The show passed with out any flaws. The fans cheered on the Backstreet Boys like there had never been any change in pace. Brittany's act came and went and she took a seat next to Justin by the curtain. "Are you enjoying yourself?" Brittany teased her good friend as she sat down. "Yeah, I am, they are really talented. I mean, my baby's the best, but the guys are okay too." Justin smiled. "Sure, you keep on thinking that." The last song came on as the group sang 'The One'. Each guy picked one person of the crowd and that fan was serenaded. Brian chose a young girl from the front row. Justin wasn't jealous, he found it silly actually. As the song came to an end, Kevin, Howie, Nick, and AJ ran from the stage. Justin stood and waited for Brian. "Hey, before I go, I was hoping you could help me with something." Brian screamed to his adoring fans. The fans let out there high pitched screams in approval. "I was hoping you could help me convince Justin Timberlake to come out here for a second." The screams were still loud, but were not as powerful as before. Justin stood in shock looking around at the guys and Brittany with questioning eyes. "Go on, get out there. Don't leave your man hanging." Brittany gave Justin a small push. "There he is." Brian smiled and pulled a stool out from behind the back curtain. "Take a seat." Brian sat the seat down behind Justin, and let Justin sit. The fans screamed in wonder as Brian slowly turned towards them. "In case you didn't notice, we forgot a song tonight. But I'm gonna make up for it now." Brian turned away from the crowd and stood facing Justin. I'd go anywhere for you Anywhere you'd ask me to I'd do anything for you Anything you want me to I'd walk halfway around the world For just one kiss from you Far beyond the call of love The sun, the stars, the moon As long as you love's there to lead me I won't lose my way, believe me Even through the darkest night you know I'd go anywhere for you Anywhere you want me to I'd do anything for you Anything you want me to Your love as far as I can see Is all I'm ever gonna need There's one thing I know for sure I know it's true Baby, I'd go anywhere for you I used to think that dreams were just For sentimental fools And I'd never find someone Who'd give their love so true But I knew the very minute Couldn't live my life without you in it And now I want the whole wide world To know Hey baby, hay baby, hey baby, oohhh Hey baby, hey baby, hey baby, oohhh Hey baby, hey baby, hey baby, oohhh I'd go anywhere for you Anywhere you want me to I'd do anything for you Anything you want me to Your love as far as I can see Is all I'm ever gonna need There's one thing I know for sure I know it's true Baby, I'd go anywhere for you I used to think that dreams were just For sentimental fools And I'd never find someone Who'd give their love so true But I knew the very minute Couldn't live my life without you in it And now I want the whole wide world To know The crowd cheered as Brian finished the final song of the night, and Justin sat in astonishment. Brian bent down and hugged him, quickly kissing him on the cheek. "Good night folks, and thanks for coming." Brian smiled pulling Justin off the stage. The fans went into an uproar as they walked off the stage and disappeared into the darkness of the backstage area. "I can't believe you did that. I looked like an idiot, I didn't even have my hair done." Justin was extremely happy after Brian's kindness, but wanted to tease Brian first before letting it show. "Sorryyyyy, I just thought that maybe you would like something special." Brian didn't catch onto Justin's sarcasm and reacted harshly. "Next time I won't be nice, I'll just leave you in the back all alone." Brian was shocked when Justin grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss. There lips came together with force, and there tongues probed each other in a battle, not of hate, not of war, but of love, and passion. Lust and love combining into one to make a passionate kiss into an everlasting moment of true love. "I was just kidding." Justin pulled out and smiled at Brian's changed feelings. His anger had turned into happiness, as a large smile crossed his face. "I love you." "I love you too. Come on, you can watch me get dressed." Brian pulled Justin towards the dressing room. As they approached it, they noticed that the others were no where in sight. "Maybe you'd like a little strip tease?" "I'd love it." Justin sat down on the couch and let Brian stand by himself. Brian slowly began to sway running his finger over his chest. He pulled off his shirt and licked his lips, throwing his shirt onto Justin's head. Justin removed it from his face to watch the show. Brian worked his way to his pants, slowly unbuttoning them, and then pulling the zipper down. He jumped out of them and slowly made his way to Justin. He pulled himself down onto Justin's lap, and licked his lips again. He undid the button on his boxer slit, and let his tool pop out the opening. "For me." Justin smiled going down on Brian. He sucked it like he had never before, agressively, but still lovingly. His tongue caressing it, while his lips moved over the throbbing organ. "Oh, god, Oh Justin......" Brian moaned out in ecstasy, as he came inside of Justin's mouth. Justin opened his eyes after hearing a small click. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know." Brittany slammed the door behind her. Brian jumped up off of Justin, giving Justin no chance to remove his mouth from his boyfriend's cock. "Shit" , Justin stood up, as Brian threw on a pair of clean pants, and a clean shirt. They both ran out of the room to find Brittany. "Brittany, did you see anything?" Justin grabbed her by the arm and spun her around. "Um, no, yes, no, yes, but I didn't mean to. Sorry, it was an accident." Brittany didn't know whether to lie or tell the truth. She was in complete shock of the scene she had seen. "It's okay, it was an accident, you had no idea we were in there. But, could you please not tell the guys, Kevin would freak if he knew that we were doing that in public places." "Yeah, I won't tell any one, I'm really sorry." Brittany continued to apologize after agreeing with Brian's plea. "Let's get to the limo." Justin grabbed Brian's hand and the three walked down the hall. Justin and Brian smiling, while Brittany thought about what she had seen. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ TOUR BUS "Alright guys, Kevin, your bunk is at the very end of the right hand side. AJ your before him, Howie before AJ, Nick before Howie. Justin, Brian you get the whole left hand side to yourself, except one is for Brittany." The driver began to inform the group where they would be staying. Kevin took off to his bunk for some rest, and Nick and AJ went towards the kitchen. Howie, went to the bathroom, and Brian, Justin, and Brittany went to the back of the bus in the living area. "Britt, are you okay with what you saw? You looked pretty sick, when you walked in on us." Justin sat down on Brian's lap and questioned his long time friend who took a seat across from them. "Um, no, I mean it just wasn't something I've seen before. I've never seen my bestfriend giving another guy a blow job. Not that it's bad or anything, I just have to get used to it." Brittany stumbled over her words, trying to pick them carefully. "Cool, because I don't want my best friend to hate me because of something like that." Justin teased letting Brian give him a small kiss on the cheek. "So, when do we meet up with Christina?" Brittany changed the subject. "Oh, she's gonna be on tour with us, once we hit the next stop in San Diego." Brian knew the schedule of the tour, as he had studied it hard, to find any free time he could spend with Justin. "Justin, are you going to tell her about you and Brian?" "I think it would be pretty hard to hide." Justin teased, as he pointed towards himself sitting on Brian's lap. "She probably knows any ways, it was in the news. On Tv, the papers, she has to know." "Yeah, I guess your right, I forgot about that. But are you going to tell her about the wedding?" "Yeah, I want to ask her to be in it as my groom's maid." The three began to laugh at Justin. "Yeah, it's been a while since we saw her, I hope she's okay with all this, you know, you being gay and all." "Gay and all, like it's a bad thing. I mean, if I weren't gay I wouldn't have fallen in love with this good looker." Brian teased out words, before Justin could find a way to answer Brittany. "I think she'll be fine with it, I mean, she is a pop diva, she has to have some gay fans." Justin found words to answer, and smiled as Brian kissed his cheek again. "I hope so, because I would hate to see her mad, especially with her being on the same tour bus as you for a couple months on end." Brittany found herself smiling at the couple. Her disgust from earlier had left, she had adjusted quickly to Justin and Brian being gay, and found herself doing the same after watching Justin please Brian. "You two wanna watch some tv or somethingggg...." Justin let his last word wonder out, in a moan as Brian started to suck on his neck. "I wanna" "Go" "to" "bed" Brian let his words out in small phrases in between sucking on Justin's neck. Brian stood and pulled Justin up. "Good night Brittany, we'll try to be quiet since we have the same side of the night, but if our curtains a rockin', don't come a knock'n." Brian pulled Justin away towards the beds, before he could even say good night to his friend. He pushed Justin up into there bed, and then pulled himself in. Justin was beginning to strip. "Hey, what are you doing? We have a girl on the bus." "Yeah, but Brittany's seen both of us naked, I think she can handle us in our underwear." Justin continued to strip until he was left in a pair of tight black briefs. Brian stopped unzipping his pants to stare at his lover's body. "You have to tease me?" Brian smiled slipping his pants off, and relaxing in his boxers. He pulled the blankets back and let Justin slip in. Brian pulled the blankets back up and Justin nestled his head on Brian's chest. "Until our honey moon, all your getting is teasing." Justin closed his eyes with a smile on his face. Brian closed his eyes smiling too. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ TUESDAY (TOUR BUS) (MORNING) All of the bus's occupants were awake, sitting around the kitchen area, either at the table or in the booths surrounding the room. Justin was in his briefs, he didn't feel like changing, while every one else had clothes on, or at least pants. Brittany was wearing a pair of sweat pants, and a t-shirt. "So, what's the schedule for today?" Brittany turned her attention away from her meal and addressed Kevin. "Well, once Brian pulls his attention away from someone's body, I'll tell you." Brian flinched with embarrassment, at the thought of Kevin watching him watch Justin. "Maybe I could if some one put some clothes on." Brian teased hoping to turn his embarrassment into Justin's too. "I don't feel like it. We're all adults, you can handle it." Justin didn't even flinch, continuing to eat his cereal. "Alright, as for today's agenda; we have to practice at 11, and the concert starts at 8, Christina is going to meet us at the arena, she'll probably be there before us." Kevin didn't wait for Brian to stop staring, because he knew it wasn't going to happen anytime soon. "Justin, get some clothes on, before Brian's eyes pop out." Kevin barked out loudly to get Justin's attention. Justin jumped slightly, and stood from the table. He turned his back to the table with out any words and walked back for something to wear. Finding Brian's robe he threw it on and headed back to the table. "Good enough Kevin." Justin hissed out his words bitterly, taking a seat next to Brian again. "No, not really, but if you wanna act like that, then go ahead, be a child." Kevin himself was acting just as immature. "I'm not acting like a child, I just don't want to get dressed yet." Justin was acting like a child, but so was Kevin, and he knew the argument would go no where, but he didn't want to be the one to give in. "You are acting like a child, your at the table, you should be dressed by now. If you want to go to the concert, I'd suggest you put on some normal clothes instead of that goofy ass robe." Kevin kept up his argument, because he too didn't want to back down and out of the fight. "Maybe I don't wanna go to the concert then." Justin stood from the table and walked away. "Yeah, he's not acting like a child, that's why he just ran away in a temper tantrum." Kevin decided to have the last word in the matter even though Justin was no where in sight to hear it. "Shut up, he didn't do anything wrong." Brittany stood from the table and walked out to find Justin. "Oh, looks like some one is going to protect Justin before Brian can." Kevin kept up his rudeness. "Kev, watch yourself, next time you might not get out of a fight so simply." Brian stood and followed Brittany to see where Justin was. Brian saw Brittany standing near their bunk, with her head in the curtain. He approached it, and popped his head in next to Brittanys. Justin was in the corner of the bed, holding a pillow as Brian scanned the bed. "He was waiting for you. I'll be back up in the kitchen, I'm gonna take care of Kevin." Brittany pulled her head out and stamped off for the kitchen. Brian pulled himself into the bed, and crawled towards Justin. "What's wrong babe?" Brian pulled Justin into a hug, causing Justin to drop the pillow and instictively wrap around Brian's chest for support. "I don't wanna get dressed." Justin had a a few tears in his eyes, but none graced his face. "You don't have to. But I know this isn't about that, what's it about?" "Yes I do, Kevin is in charge, and no one would have agreed with me. What Kevin says goes, and if I don't get dressed he isn't going to let me come to the concert tonight." The tears were beginning to turn Justin's words into moans, but they still didn't flow from his eyes. "Don't listen to him, if I say you can come, then you can come. Let's go back to the breakfast." Brian looked at Justin for a smile. He got what he wanted, Justin wiped his eyes, and let a small smile grace his face. He pulled away from the hug, and grabbed for a pair of pants. "What are you doing?" "I'm getting dressed, like Kevin said." Justin uttered out in anger." "Don't." Brian ripped the pants from Justin's hands, and helped him out of the bunk. They walked back down the hall to the kitchen and took there seats. "Ahem." Brittany let out a fake choke, and gave an evil stare to Kevin. "Um, Justin, I'm sorry for overreacting earlier." Kevin took notice of Brittany's slightly risen hand, and decided to follow through with what Brittany had warned him to do. "I'm sorry too, but this is how you get me in the morning." Justin decided to accept the apology with one of his own. "Just as long as you have the robe on, I'm fine with it." "I can do that." Justin smiled and went back to eating the last of his now soggy cereal. "Justin" Brian shook up from his stare, uttering Justin's name. "What?" "Did you take your pills yesterday?" Brian let out the question he had been thinking, and had forgetten to say after uttering his name. "Oh shit, I forgot." Justin stood and went to get them from his bag. Grabbing them he walked back to the front of the bus and took his seat. He pulled out one, and grabbed his orange juice. Popping one into his mouth, he took a sip and swallowed. Smiling Justin set the bottle down hoping Brian would not look at it. Justin knew he should have been taking his pills, but he didn't want to, so in replace he had taken an advil. Brian smiled and went back to staring. Justin took that as a sign, and went back to eating. Inside he was tearing himself apart for tricking Brian, but he knew that Brian wouldn't let him stop taking the pills, so his best bet was to trick him into thinking he had taken them. "Hey, Justin can we talk for a sec?" AJ stood from the table to get Justin's attention. As Justin walked to the back AJ, tapped Brian on the shoulder and pointed to the pills. Brian looked up in confusion, but as AJ walked away he grabbed the bottle. "Yeah, what's up?" Justin stopped as they approached the beds. "Nothing, just wanted to know why you weren't taking your pills." "I am too, I just took one." Justin felt threatened by AJ and quickly stuttered out words to defend himself. "What, you mean those advils? I didn't know that your pills suddenly were made by Advil now." "Um, Um," "That's what I thought." AJ turned and walked away, when he got to the table and looked at Brian for a response. Justin slowly walked back to the table and took his seat again. He was in shock, and took no notice as to the missing bottle that had once sat in front of him. Justin stopped eating, when realizing that more then just Brian were staring at him. "Take a picture, it'll last longer." Justin let out a small laugh, obviously fake, but hoping that the others would find it funny. "Is there a reason why I'm the center of attention all of a sudden?" "Yeah, and you know why." Brian pulled the bottle of advil out from under the table and set it down in front of Justin. "Care to explain?" "Well, I, um, I grabbed the wrong bottle I guess." Justin tried to think of a quick lie. "Justin, this is serious, why aren't you taking your pills?" Brian put his hand out for Justin to take hold of, to let him know that he was there. Justin grabbed it, before he could begin to answer Brian's question. "I don't know, I just don't think I need them any more. I'm not depressed." "Is that why you took off running this morning, and hid from us in your bed?" AJ questioned Justin's answer. "I'm fine now, I don't need the pills." Justin became aggressive, releasing Brian's hand and pulling himself away from the group. "Really, what if you aren't, what if you get sick? Then what? You leave the tour, you go back to your mother, and you don't see me again." Brian was hurt by Justin's words and actions. Hoping better from his boyfriend. "It's my decision, if I don't take them for a week, and I'm fine, then I can stop, but if I get sick or depressed, I'll take one right away." Justin tried to negotiate a deal from the group in frustration. "Fine, you're right, it's your decision, you have a deal." Kevin stood and shook Justin's hand. Justin didn't know what to make of it, was he being honest, or joking with him. The others nodded there heads, and went back to eating. Silence filled the kitchen as no one knew what to say. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ REHEARSAL AT THE ARENA 2 hours had passed since 9 o'clock. It was now 11 in the afternoon and the BackStreet Boys had started rehearsing for there concert. Brittany was practicing in another area, while Justin sat around by himself. It had been a long two hours for him. No one had spoken to him since the discussion over his pills, not even Brian or Brittany. He anxiously awaited Christina, hoping she would talk to him before she had to begin her practicing. "Is that Justin Timberlake?" Christina shrieked as she ran up to Justin with open arms. "Its been so long." Justin met her with the hug she awaited, and after a few seconds let her down to the ground. "I guess that means your fine with me, and Brian?" Justin smiled at his old friend, as she jumped up and down for joy. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be? You are still the same guy I knew back then. I kinda had the feeling you were anyways, I mean, a cute guy like you, always single, kinda hard to imagine that." Christina smiled, in the back of her mind she tried to find reasons behind why Justin was alone in the building. "So where is every body?" "Brittany's dancing, the guys are singing, and no one's talking to me." Justin turned his smile upside down, at the words he spoke. "Really, why not?" "Because we got in a fight today, and I'm sorta the cause, but it's cool, they'll get over it. Come on, I'll take you to see Brittany." Justin grabbed her by the hand and pulled her in the direction he had remembered that Brittany had taken. "Hey, Britt, we have a visitor." Brittany didn't even turn around when she heard Justin's voice. "See." Justin said letting Christina see that he was not lieing. "Brittany Spears, the pop queen, oh my god, this is like such an honor." Christina began to talk in a ditzy voice to get her good friend's attention. "Christina." Brittany and Christina ran to each other, giggling. Justin didn't make an attempt to talk to them, knowing that Brittany would just ignore him. "So, I hear you are ignoring Justy?" "Yeah, but I bet he didn't tell you why?" "He told me you all got in a fight, and that every one was mad at him." "Did he tell you that he stopped taking his medication, and that he won't start taking it again?" "No!" Christina let out a little bit of anger, as she listend to Brittany. "Yes, and that's why we aren't talking to him." "He said you guys would get over it by the concert." "I don't think Brian will. He is really upset by Justin, he expected better from him." "Well, I hope the bus ride is at least comfortable." Christina laughed, as Brittany ran off to get back to her practicing. Christina turned back towards Justin. "So, where's your boy at?" Christina didn't want to confront Justin about the pills, she wanted Justin to have some one to talk to, and if no one else would, she would. "It's not like he's talking to me, but at least you can meet the guys. It's not like there talking to me either though." Justin led Christina back down the way they had came, and took off down the other hallway, leading to the main stage. "Hey, guys" Justin knew that they most likely wouldn't look at him, but he had to get there attention. Justin's thoughts were right, because no one looked at him. "Go ahead, just walk up and introduce yourself." Justin took a seat next to Fatima hoping she would talk to him, but she moved her seat over, giving Justin a disappointed look. Justin only frowned and put his head down. "Cut, I'll let you guys get introduced to each other." Fatima turned and walked away as Christina walked on stage. "Hi, I'm Kevin, that's Howie, Nick, AJ, and back there, that's Brian." Kevin walked up to Christina and pointed to his fellow bandmates. "It's nice to meet you." "I'm Christina, it's nice to meet you guys too. I've been a fan for a while. I was hoping I could meet Justin's boyfriend....?" "Sorry, I've got my head in other things." Brian walked forward and hugged Christina, giving her a small friendly kiss on the cheek. "So I heard." Christina frowned looking over towards Justin. He didn't even look up, as he sat in thought. "Did he tell you?" Brian questioned angrily. "No, Brittany did." Christina sensed Brian's anger, but let it slip past her. "What did he tell you?" Brian kept up his questioning, hoping to get something out of Christina that Justin had said, that might show that he was sorry. "Just that you guys would be talking to him again before the concert." "Small chance." Brian turned and walked back to the stage. Kevin looked at him displeasingly, but let it pass. "Sorry about that, he's just a little upset, we all are. It will be a while before we talk to Justin." Kevin took up the chance to talk to Christina. "Oh" "Until he starts taking them again, I don't think Brian will talk to him. And the rest of us, well we are going to wait until Justin gets the point of how wrong it is." "I see, but I think he kinda gets it. I mean, look at him, the only person that's talking to him is me." "I know, but that's not good enough. He has to wait and see what it really is like. It's gonna hit him the hardest tonight." "Why's that?" "Well, when Brian sleeps in his own bed, instead of with Justin, that's when it's going to hurt him the most." "I didn't think of that. Justin needs Brian though, I don't think he should be this mad." "I do, I think he has the right to be mad at him, he can't even trust him to do anything anymore." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ TOUR BUS AFTER CONCERT Justin's thoughts were wrong. Brian and the others had not talked to him. They still held there silence, and talking to Christina was great, but he couldn't shake his sadness, with out Brian talking to him, it didn't matter if any one did. Every one was settled around the table, in a large group discussion, except for Justin. "I'm gonna go to bed." Justin didn't wait for an answer, and headed for the beds. After a good fourty minutes of no sleep, Justin pulled himself out of the bed. He walked back into the kitchen to find it deserted. In confusion he turned to the back of the bus, and went to search the living area, but still no sign of any one. He was looking for Brian, wondering what had taken him so long to come to bed. Turning his attention to the bathroom, Justin knocked. "Brian, you in there?" "You aren't going to find him." Justin looked up to see Christina staring sadly at him. "Why not?" "Because he's sleeping." "No he's not, I was just in our bed, and he wasn't there." "I know, because he's sleeping in his own bed." Christina hated to be the one to tell Justin, but was left with no choice, since she was the only one left talking to him. "What?" "He's taking it to heart Justin, he is sleeping in his own bed, until he can think it over." "Oh, alright." Justin didnt' want to let on his hurt to Christina, as he turned to his bed. He pulled himself up and pulled the covers over him. Grabbing a pillow he tried to sleep. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ TOUR BUS (NOON) The tour bus was heading to the third stop of the tour, Portland Oregon. Everyone but Justin, sat around the living area, in small conversations. The bus came to a stop as it pulled it to a rest stop. "Alright, everyone can get something to eat, and anything else they want." Kevin said standing from his sitting position, and making his way to the front of the bus. "Is any one going to get Justin?" Christina asked, fearing the answer. "No, we aren't talking to him." Brian and Brittany both answered, following the others off the bus. Christina followed, knowing it would be best to let Justin sleep. After a twenty minute stop, and every one had eaten, the bus got moving again. "Shouldn't we have grabbed Justin something to eat?" Christina found herself fearing the question that she asked. "Nope, if he wanted something, then he should have been awake." Brian went back to his conversation with Brittany. The tour bus continued on it's route for another two hours, with still no sign of Justin waking up. Christina was the only one who worried about him, and time after time asked them if he should be woken. Each time he got the same answer, no. So she went back to listening to the small conversations. As the 4 o'clock rolled by, and then 5, and then 6 the tour bus pulled into a restaraunt parking lot. "I'm waking Justin this time." Christina stood and headed towards the bunk she remembered Justin had slept in. "Justin, wake up, we are getting our dinner." "I don't want anything, let me sleep." Justin pushed Christina's hand away, and she shut the curtain again. Heading off the bus to catch up with every one else. "Is he coming?" Brittany asked with out much real care in her voice. "No, he doesn't want to." "His loss." The group waited in line, and found themselves seated with in 20 minutes. After a half an hour wait for there food, the large group started there meals. "Guys, I really think you should talk to Justin. I think he gets the point." Christina now wanted to bring her worries to the attention of the group. "He hasn't talked to any one since the other night, not even me." "He'll get over it." Howie muttered out, taking a bite of his spaghettit. "Yeah, like he said before, he can make his own decisions, so he can live with the consequences." Nick agreed taking a bite of his hamburger. "I know, but don't you think it's gone far enough, he's on tour with his boyfriend, and they won't even talk to each other. His bestfriend's ignoring him, and the last group of friends he has won't give him the time of day. He needs more then just me." "Maybe, but it's his decision, when he makes the right one, we'll talk to him. We have another day before the next concert, that gives him another night to himself, maybe he will decide by then." Brian too found himself slightly worried, but knew that his answer was the right one to tell Christina. The meals were finished one by one, and slowly the group made there way out of the building, while Kevin paid. They headed back to the living area, and went back into the conversations. 8 o'clock came and passed, 9, then 10, until it was 11 o'clock. Justin had slept the whole day besides his minor interuption from Christina. "I'm heading to bed, see ya in the morning." Brian made his way to his bed, the one he had chosen to sleep in until Justin changed his mind. He pulled back the curtain to find Justin sound asleep, clutching his pillow. Sadness gripped Brian, he thought about getting into bed with Justin, but instead turned around and walked back to the living area, and took his seat. "I thought you were going to bed." AJ looked up when Brian came back to the room. "I was, but Justin is in mine, so I'll wait." "See, he just wants to be with you." Christina was about to bring back her argument. "I know." There wasn't much else Brian could say, he was starting to feel sorry for Justin, and for his actions. "I think I'm gonna go to sleep." "Not with him, we made a decision, and until he reconsiders his, we don't talk to him." Kevin barked, noticing Brian's worried face. "No, not with him, in my own bed." Brian walked back up towards the bed, and pulled himself into the one underneath Justin's. Sleep took over Brian's mind. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ BACK IN THE LIVING AREA "You know, if you didn't say anything I think Brian would have slept with him tonight." AJ looked up to Kevin to let him know his opinions. "I think someone should go and make sure that he isn't." "No, I know he wouldn't do that." Kevin was right, Brian wasn't sleeping Justin, he was sleeping in his own bed, below Justin, dreaming of him. "I can't believe you people, he made a mistake, give him a break. He's been sleeping for hours, he probably managed enough strength to switch beds while we were eating dinner. All he wants is his boyfriend." Christina stood from the table in anger. "Chrissy, please, calm down. Brian will be there for him when this is all said and done, but you have to understand where we are coming from." Brittany tried to pull Christina back into a sitting position. "Yeah, and all your doing is pushing him into depression." Christina hadn't realized what she said, but the others did. "And that's why he needs the pills, or else this will happen every time he gets in a small fight, he won't talk to any body and he'll just sleep." Kevin showed Christina the meaning behind what she had said. "I didn't mean it that way, but I guess your right." Christina took her seat, and apologized to the guys and Brittany for her behavior as midnight rolled around. Everyone made there way to bed, some thinking of Justin, some thinking of the tour. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ TOUR BUS MORNING (THURSDAY) "So, when are we getting into Portland?" Christina spoke up to spark a group conversation. Although Justin still had no signs of waking, he was still asleep in bed. "2, which means we will have 6 hours to practice and eat, before the concert starts." Kevin replied munching down on some toast. "Are we going to leave Justin in the bus?" Christina looked to Brian for an answer, hoping he would bring Justin with them. "It's up to him, if he wants to get up, then no, but if he doesn't, then he can sleep for as long as he wants." Brian didn't even look up when he answered Christina. He secretly was longing to talk to Justin, to let him know it was okay, but knew that it wouldn't get a good reaction from Kevin or the others. "Oh, so we're just gonna let him sleep, for two day 48 hours. I mean, he's been sleeping a good 30 hours now." Christina was hoping she could convince Brian to speak to him with pleading. "If he wants." Brian kept his attention on the table. "I think you should talk to him, and convince him to take a pill." Christina tried to grab Brian's attention with anything she could. Brian made no sign of answering her. "Maybe that isn't a bad idea, I think he's learned his lesson, go convince him to take the pill." Kevin surprised every one with his words, but got no disagreeance. Brian stood and slowly walked to the back of the bus, and pulled back the curtain, noticing that Justin was sleeping against the wall, he pulled himself in. "Justin, wake up." Brian lightly shook Justin's shoulder. Justin flinched and rolled over onto his back, dropping a small slip of paper to the matress. Brian picked it up, to find that it was a picture of himself. Brian felt the pain seep into his heart, realizing how hard it had been on Justin. "Justin, I'm here now, and I'm sorry, wake up." Brian shook him a little harder. Justin slowly opened his eyes. "What?" Justin groggily looked up at Brian, his face was pale. "I'm sorry." "For what?" Brian could tell by Justin's words, that he wasn't really awake, but more in a daze. Brian bent down and kissed, pushing his tongue in, hoping that it would revive him. "Whoa!" Justin sat up after the kiss looking around for something. "I'm sorry." "I know, I heard you the first time, now where's my picture?" Justin showed no signs of forgiving Brian, but asked for the picture that he couldn't find. "Here." Brian handed it to him, and leaned up against the wall. Justin ripped it out of his hands, and put it in his pocket. He slowly started to crawl out of the bed. "Where are you going?" "Back to my real bed, I'm sorry I took up yours, I was hoping that I might have had a chance to sleep with my fiance, but I guess I was wrong, since I've slept by myself two nights in a row." Justin slid out of the curtain and headed for his and Brian's original bed. Pulling himself in he wrapped the blankets around him. Brian pushed the curtain back and crawled in after him. "Why are you doing this to me? Why are you playing with me? I know you don't want to talk to me, so why do you keep forcing me to leave the beds I go to?" "I wanted to come to bed with you. I'm sorry, I know we hurt you, but please, you have to understand, you need the pills." Brian begged his boyfriend, but Justin turned to his side to face the wall. "Justin, you've been sleeping for the past 30 some hours..." "No I haven't." Justin still faced the wall, but cut Brian off. "What do you mean?" "I haven't been sleeping, I've been awake during the nights, during the days. I listen to you guys talk about me, I waited and waited, hoping you would have slept with me that one night, I wasn't asleep when you came by and opened the curtain and found me. I couldn't sleep with out you, I cried most of the time, into the pillow, clutching your picture." Brian felt the pain seep back into his heart, as Justin kept his back towards him. "I'm sorry, I was going to, but Kevin, and the other, we made a deal, not until you took the pills." "Then I'll take the goddamn pills. If it means that you won't be there for me, then I'll take the fucking pills." Justin turned to face Brian, to let his words echo out into the bus, tears falling down his face. Brian was sent back by Justin's screams. The rest of the bus came running to see what was going on. Not used to hearing Justin swear with such violence. Pulling the curtain open, they got the sight of Justin crying and Brian speechless. The curtain was quickly shut and they went back to there seats. "I can't take it any more, if all you want is for me to take the pills once a week, I'll take them. But fuck it if, all I'm going to get is back turning and loneliness. Sitting behind a curtain by yourself for a day isn't much fun, and sitting there thinking about your friends fucking with your mind is even worse." Justin hadn't even noticed that the others had poked there way into the argument before leaving. His tears came down his face, but Brian said nothing. "I fucking need you, I can't go on day after day, with you being there. I thought if I just laid in your bed, you would, you, feel bad for me, and you would come back to me, but you didn, you let Kevin talk you out of it. And then this morning, it wasn't your idea to come to me, it was Kevin's." "I wanted to, I wanted to be with you, I knew you were hurting, but I couldn't. I had to wait, until you would take the pills." Brian didn't know what else to say. "Get them, I'll take them now, I'll take the whole fucking bottle." Justin didn't mean what he was saying, but he let it slip out, as the tears slipped out of his eyes and ran down his cheeks. "Don't say that, don't." Brian too was now screaming, which gave cause for the others to come back again. "Is everything okay. I mean, do you guys want to be alone, or do you want to talk to us?" Brittany tried to stay calm and see what there reaction would be. "No, just get the pills." Brian said pointing towards there bag. Brittany grabbed the bottle and handed it to Justin. "Take them." Brian handed the bottle to Justin and he took it. Opening the lid, he found himself staring into the bottle. He emptied a handful into his hand, and put one in his mouth. With out any water it was hard for him to swallow, but he managed to. "Happy, are you all fucking? Because I'm not, now get out." Justin practically pushed Brian out of the bunk, and watched as they all passed. Justin still had the bottle in his left hand, and the pile of pills in his right. Staring at them, he had two decisions - live or die. Lifting his hand, Justin had made his decision....Justin shut the bottle as the last one of the pills fell into it. He had decided to live, not for himself, but for them. Pulling the picture out of his pocket, he tried to sleep. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ TOUR BUS (1 o'clock) Justin had managed to fall asleep. Brian sat by himself in the living area. Other were around him, but to him he was alone. He knew that Justin should be gotten up before they arrived at the arena, but hesitated to do it. Standing he had decided to do it, and made his way to the bed he and Justin shared, and would share again. "Justin, we're almost at the stadium." Brian didn't touch Justin, he tried to wake him with his words. Brian noticed the bottle sitting next to the picture of him on the bed. He quickly grabbed the bottle and shook it, from the noise he knew that Justin had not taken any more, and then put them in his pocket. Justin slowly rolled over to see who had tried to wake him. Seeing Brian, made him turn back over. "Please, I want you to watch us tonight." Brian thought of trying to beg Justin to wake up. "I don't want to watch you, I'll be here tonight, after your finished." Justin didn't look over his shoulder to see Brian's face. "Alright, I'll be here right after, but you know if you stay here, you have a good 9 hours to be by yourself?" "I know, I wanna get some sleep." Justin rolled over to let Brian see he would be fine. "Fine by me, but if you get bored, or sad, or upset, or anything, come inside." Brian kissed Justin on the cheek. "I love you." "I love you too." Justin rolled back onto his side and clutched the picture that he was now laying near. Holding it, he tried to sleep. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ AFTER THE CONCERT (10:45) "You screwed up like 8 times out there man, you okay." Nick walked by Brian in the dressing room, as Brian changed pants. "Yeah, just thinking about something." "Are you sure? It takes a lot of thinking to screw up that many times, on something you know by heart." Nick knew that something was bothering Brian, but he couldn't put his finger on it. "Just a little worried, Justin didn't leave the bus once today, and he didn't come and watch us. I just wanna go check up on him, tell the guys that I'm already there, so they don't look for me." Brian ran from the room to find Justin. Squeezing through the crowd of security guards Brian managed to get into the bus. After all the noise from the outside, he was sure that Justin would be awake. He passed the kitchen, no Justin, looked in the bed, no Justin, as he made his way to the living area, he could see Justin's body outlined in a blanket. "Hey babe, enjoy your sleep?" Brian kissed Justin's forehead and sat down waiting for an answer. "Not really, I didn't get much. After about 5, all I could hear was fans screaming." "Why didn't you come in then? It was quiet inside, you could have slept in the dressing room." "I know, but I didn't feel like it. I just wanted to sit around by myself for a while." "Yeah, I feel like that sometimes. So, you wanna head to bed now?" "I don't know, I was hoping I could talk to every one, I mean, it's been almost two days since I had a chance to talk to any one, except for you, Brittany, and Christina." "Alright." Brian pulled Justin close to him, revealing that Justin was only wearing a pair of boxers. "Maybe you should throw my robe on." Justin agreed and quickly went to the bunk to grab it, wrapping it around his body made him feel comfortable. He walked by to his seat to see Brian in it. "Hey, that's my seat mister." "Really, I don't know what we can do about it. I think you're just gonna have to find another seat sir." Brian teased back lovingly. "Maybe I'll just sit on you." Justin plopped down onto Brian's lap, letting Brian kiss him on his neck. "It's been awhile." Justin smiled feeling Brian's lips on his skin. "I know, to long." Brian managed to squeeze out, focusing on one spot trying to create a hickey. "Ewwwwww, the love birds our at it again." Howie ran around the small area jumping from the table to the couch. Brian finished up his work and Justin smiled, laughing at Howie. Soon the bus was on it's way, with every one in the living area. An awkward silence fell over the room. "So...." Justin smiled hoping some one would start a conversation. "Yeah, so..." Brittany smiled back. "I guess, I'll start, I'm sorry we treated you like shit Justin. We were just worried about you." "I know, I'm sorry I acted like a baby, I shouldn't have held out so long, god knows I didn't enjoy it." Justin smiled at Brittany, glad that she was the one who had taken the chance to apologize first. Justin's smile began to grow, as Brian went back to work on his neck. Finding another spot to create another hickey. "I really, really, didn't enjoy it." Justin laughed, as Brian finished up on his second masterpiece. "I didn't either, now are you ready for bed?" Brian smiled hoping Justin would say yes this time. "Sure, why not?" Justin stood and followed Brian to bed. Once inside and the curtain shut Brian ripped his robe off of Justin. Justin smiled with enthusiasm, as Brian pushed him to the mat, and sucked on a new spot on his neck. Slowly pulling off his neck, making his way to Justin's nipples. Justin shutttered at the touch of Brian's tongue to his chest. His boxers were now rising, as Brian ran his tongue down to Justin's belly button. Staring at Justin, he laughed. "I don't feel like it tonight, let's go to bed." "Please." Justin begged, playing along. "I guess, if you really, really want it." "I do" Justin pointed down to his boxers to show how much he really did want it. Brian moved down a few inches, and pulled Justin's boxers down, pulling out Justin's cock, he wrapped his hands around it. "Ughhhh" Justin moaned as Brian began to stroke it with his powerful hands. Justin shook violently as Brian released his cock. "I did" "'nt cum" "yet" Justin could barely part his lips to let out his words. "I know, I don't want it to end yet." Slowly Brian pulled a small bottle of strawberry sauce out of his pant pocket. He let some run out onto his hand and smeared it over Justin's chest, and then placed a little more in his hand, and lubed up Justin's cock. "Time for desert." Brian laughed, as he began to lick Justin's chest, concentrating on getting every last drop off. When he had finished with Justin's chest, he moved back down to his manhood. Justin smiled, knowing what Brian was going to do. Brian wrapped his mouth around Justin's cock, licking the top of it, tasting Justin's pre-cum, and the strawberry sauce. "Brian......." Justin moaned, with out his realization it was loud, but he passed it off, as the pleasure kept a strong hold of his mind. Brian worked his mouth down to Justin's pubes, still tasting the sauce. "I'm gonna cum." Justin shuttered out his words, as he shuttered out his juices. Brian drank them down, and pulled his head up. "You know, you really should shave down there." Brian laughed, as Justin shook with intensity. "Maybe" "I" "will" "next time" Justin let out his words, as he felt his boxers being pulled up. Brian pulled the covers back and slid under them wrapping his arms around Justin, he fell asleep. Justin soon found himself sleeping. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ FRIDAY (EARLY AFTERNOON) (1:00) "So, where's Justin this fine and glorious day?" Christina asked as the tour bus rolled down the highway towards it's next stop. "Asleep, he was really tired last night." Brian smiled remembering what had happened the previous night. "Yeah, well next time, keep it down, some of us like to get a little bit of sleep with out our friends sex noises seeping out through the curtains." AJ smacked Brian's shoulder laughing. He got the same response from everyone else. "You could hear him then?" Brian turned red with embarrassment. "Of course we could, Brian....." Howie mocked Justin's moans of pleasure to get the group laughing again. "Shut up." Brian smiled pushing Howie into his seat. Justin slowly made his way into the room wearing Brian's robe and a pair of boxers. "So, who did I hear out here screaming my boy's name in pleasure?" Justin laughed, having heard the whole conversation. Howie raised his hand, smiling back at Justin. "Well, then I guess it's over, Howie you can marry him." Justin laughed slipping the ring off his hand slowly. He stopped at the finger tip and pushed it back down. "Just Kidding." Justin took a seat on Brian's lap, and looked at him playfully. "So, what's for lunch?" "Well, we already stopped, but you can have some of my fries." Brian smiled looking face to face with Justin. Justin nodded, and Brian began to feed him some of his food. "Could you two be any sicker?" Nick stood from the table. "Hey, any one wanna play me in 'tendo?" "Sure, why not" Christina stood from the table. "I wanna play." Brittany too stood, and was followed by Howie. "Alright, I guess we can play a four player game." The foursome headed to the back of the bus, and took seats around the living area. "Seriously though, could you two knock off the sappy feeding thing? I wanna finish my lunch with out throwing it back up." AJ was in fact being serious. He was out of the whole group of guys, most likely the most supported of Justin and Brian, but he didn't like to think about the two in loving positions. "Party pooper" Brian stopped feeding Justin, and Justin crawled into a seat next to him. "I don, wike ya no more." Justin laughed making a frown on his face. "You a meanie." "Sorry, but it really does get a little sick to watch. Not to offend you guys or nothing, but I like to think of girls doing that shit, not my bestfriend and his boy toy." AJ continued to eat his burger, as Kevin busied himself with paper work, not even flinching to hear the conversation. "I didn't realize it made you sick. Maybe I'll get a sex change, and get some big boobs. Then I'll save up some money, and get my dick chopped off." Justin laughed, pushing AJ. "No you won't. I don't want a woman." Brian smiled laughing at AJ and Justin "Oh, then what do you want?" AJ laughed out a question. "I don't want a man." Brian smiled anxiously awaiting Justin and AJ's repsonses to his answer. "Then what am I?" Justin smiled, waiting for the answer Brian would have. "Well, your the perfect person. Your nice, you sensitive, your good looking, your young and your mine." Brian pulled Justin into a hug, and kissed him on the cheek. "Oh, and did I mention you have a great ass." Justin pulled back in hurt. "Is that all I am?" Justin smiled, at Brian's sadness, knowing that he was only playing along. "No, you have nice abs, and your the perfect mouthpiece." "Whoa, I didn't need to hear that. Come on Kevin, let's go watch them play nintendo." AJ stood and pulled Kevin up from his work, slapping the work from his hands and heading to the back. "A perfect mouthpiece am I?" "Yeah, the best." Brian smiled eyeing Justin up and down. "I don't like braggers." "I didn't brag." "I like to keep something's a secret, somethings to ourselves. Like our sex life." "I'm sorry, do you forgive me?" Brian put on a puppy dog face, and eyed Justin sadly. "No" Justin said it with seriousness, causing Brian to make a read sad look cross his face. "Not yet, not until you say Happy 2 week anniversary." "Happy anniversary baby." Brian pulled Justin into a hug, and then stood. "Come on, let's go back with the others." Justin stood and followed. "Oh no you don't, you aren't bringing your sex scene back here with us." Nick laughed as he was whipping ass in nintendo. "Don't worry, he worked it out of our systems, we're cool now." Brian teased Nick and messed up his hair. "Knock it off, I'm losing now." Nick barked as he pushed Brian's hand out of his hair. "Play with your boyfriend's hair." And Brian did just that, focusing his fingers on Justin's curls. "I like your hair this color." Brian smiled staring at Justin's brown hair. "I never really got to tell you." "Thanks, I like it too." Justin smiled nestling up against Brian's shoulder, shutting his eyes to think. "How can you be tired still, you slept until 1 in the afternoon?" Kevin looked up to see Justin dozing on Brian's shoulder. Justin didn't look up, trying to keep his mind on sleep. "He's just a kid, silly, he still needs to take naps, or he'll be cranky all night." Brian smiled looking down on Justin on his shoulder. "What ever." Kevin shook it off and went back to watching the group play nintendo. "You know, they say sleeping can be a sign of depression." Howie paused the game to look back at Brian. "Yeah, well trust me, my baby isn't depressed, just worn out." Brian smiled, not realizing that he was again bragging about his sexual scenes with Justin. Brian smiled, and stroked Justin's hair, as his sleeping beauty dreamed. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ CHAPTER 10 THE TOUR BUS (6:00 at night) "Hey, Brian, time to wake him up, we gotta get dinner." Kevin brought Brian out of his stare. Brian had been staring at Justin for a while, taking his eyes off of him to listen to conversations frequently, but spending most of the time Justin slept staring. "Alright" Brian shook Justin, who was still cozily nestled up against his shoulder. "Babe, we're gonna get dinner, come on." "Five" Justin shut his eyes again, still relaxing on Brian. "No, you can't sleep any more, you need to get dressed." Brian moved back, and Justin fell to the booth. Looking up he moaned. "Owwwwww." Justin's moan was not out of pain, but of shock. "Get me some clothes then." Brian grabbed Justin a shirt and a pair of pants, and they walked off the bus hoping to catch up with the others. Inside they could see the group at a table, so they made there way to it. "What took you so long?" Brittany smiled looking up from her menu. "Um, some one didn't want to get up." Brian secretively pointed at Justin to be funny. "Yeah, and some one didn't give me a chance, before dropping me on my head." Justin smiled, pointing at Brian, and then taking a seat next to Brittany. Brian took a seat across from him. "I didn't mean to drop you." "Well you did it anyways." "Sorry." "It's okay, I know it was an accident." Justin didn't want Brian to be upset at the first dinner they were sharing in a while. "I should have gotten up anways." "I'm still sorry. Want me to kiss it and make it all better?" Brian smiled seductively at Justin. "Here, in front of every one?" "Why not? The whole world knows where together, so let's show them." Brian leaned in and kissed Justin's forehead, then his nose, and then a kiss on his lips was the final stop. Smiling he pulled back and rested in his seat. "Oh my god, your the Backstreet Boys, and oh my god, Brittany Spears, oh, and Christina Aguilera, and Justin Timberlake, holy shit, holy shit, I'm serving the most popular people in the music industry, holy shit, holy shit. Oh my god." Screeching was all the group could make out of the young waitresses mouth as she frantically scrambled for her note pad. "Can I take your orders?" Calming slightly down the guys could understand her. "I'll take a pepsi" "pepsi" "sprite" "pepsi" "water" "lemonade" "a beer please" "pepsi" The woman took the orders, Kevin's, Howie's, AJ's, Nick's, Brittany's, Christina's, Brian's and finally Justin's. Justin was surprised that Brian had ordered a beer, after the last time he didn't think that any one would order a beer around him. "I'll be right back with your drinks." "So, you think she knew who we were?" Howie teased, looking at his menu for a meal. "No, I don't think she did." Nick teased back. "Do you wanna share something with me?" Brittany grabbed Justin's attention with her question. "Um, not really, I'm not really that hungry." Justin smiled and turned Brittany's offer down. She smiled back and turned her question to Christina. "So, you aren't hungry? Are you okay?" Brian tried to hide his slight fear, so Justin would think he was just being nice enough to ask. Knowing full well that Justin might get mad if he knew that Brian was worried. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just don't feel like eating right now, I'm just really tired." Justin let out a small smile to convince Brian he was doing just fine, Brian however knew that something was eating him up. "Are you sure, do you want to go back to the bus?" "No, I'm fine. I'll be fine here." Justin kept up the smile, as Brian slowly sparked a little one back. "Here you go." The waitress set down the drinks and walked away. "She gave you my sprite, and me your water." AJ handed Brittany's water across the table, and grabbed his sprite. "Yeah, and she gave me your pepsi." Brian reached over the table and grabbed the beer from in front of Justin. Brian quickly pulled it towards him and replaced it with the pepsi. "We wouldn't want a repeat." Brian smiled still keeping an eye on Justin to see if he really was fine. "I know, I learned my lesson then." Justin let out a small smile, and sipped his pepsi. "Can I get your meals now?" "Yeah, I think we are all ready to order." Kevin spoke up. "I'll take a cheesburger, no pickles, with a baked potato and coleslaw." Kevin smiled and handed the waitress his menu. "I'll take the fettucini alfredo." Howie handed her his menu and she moved down the line, taking every one's order. "And Justin, what can I get you?" The waitress had a huge smile on her face as she talked to Justin. "Oh, nothing for me, I'm not really very hungry." He smiled handing the waitress his menu, she took it, and sighed walking away. "Justin are you sure your fine, the last time you ate was a few or my fries, and you didn't even eat more then 5. Maybe you should have a salad or something?" Brian was beginning to get upset that Justin wouldn't eat. "I'm fine, but I can't eat when I'm tired. I'll eat later, after I take a nap." Justin too was beginning to get upset, but not because of his appitite, but because of Brian's questioning. "I think Brian's right Justin, maybe you should eat just little a bit." Brittany eyed the conversation, sensing it was turning into a bad situation. "Maybe I should go get some sleep." Justin stood from the table, and walked out of the building. Brittany and Brian stared at each other in disbelief. "What's his problem?" Christina felt the tension in the air after Justin's departure. "He wants to take a nap." Brian blurted out, looking directly at Brittany for some sort of answer that she may have known. "Brian, I think he takes a little to many naps. He sleeps until 1, and then he takes naps all day on your shoulder. Then he heads to bed directly after the concert. He's only awake maybe 5 hours a day." Kevin spoke up involving himself into the conversation, that was now becoming a whole group discussion. "Yeah, maybe I was right, maybe he is depressed." Howie jumped in, hoping not to be the last to get involved. "He sure fits a few of the symptoms, not eating, sleeping all day." Nick joined in. "But he isn't withdrawn, he still talks to me, and he still laughs and smiles." Brian tried to defend Justin, although he to saw the signs. "But he has two out of three symptoms. Does he really talk to you, or does he just utter out small phrases, and ask you if you want to go to bed?" AJ was now involved in the conversation, making everyone now a member of it. "He hasn't really talked to me for a while." Brittany chimed in. "Me either." Christina joined Brittany agreeing with her. In fact no one had really talked to Justin. He had small conversations for a few minutes with people, but they usually ended with him dozing off on Brian's shoulder lately. "I know, but he's just tired, I know he'd tell me if he were sad, or upset." Brian looked around the room for a sing of agreement, or even a nod from one of his friends, or the reassuring solemn face of his cousin, but was met with none of them. "I mean, wouldn't he? I'm his fiance afterall." Still the faces of his friends and bandmates did not look up, not wanting to tell Brian there true feelings on the matter. "Wouldn't he?" Brian was now yelling, and this got his friends to look up, as he almost demanded that they answer him. "I don't know Bri, I mean he's been really withdrawn lately, maybe he wouldn't." Nick was the one to finally speak up. He knew that no matter who told Brian there feelings, that it would hurt him, so in hope of softening the blow he took the honors of telling his best friend. "It's not like he doesn't love you any more, it's just, maybe he really is depressed." Nick reached out a hand to give Brian his support, but Brian didn't grab for it. "He's not depressed. He's not. He still talks to me, and hangs out with me. Maybe he's just mad at you guys or something." Although he tried his hardest to give an explanation, Brian felt himself believing the others. It wasn't easy for him, he knew, even though he hated it, that Justin wouldn't tell him if something huge were bothering him. It was just how Justin was, and Brian knew that, hated that, but accepted it, because he loved him. "Brian, you know it's true. When was the last time you really had a conversation with him?" Kevin could see the pain in Brian's eyes, the hurt, and the longing for some one to tell him it was okay. But not even his cousin could utter the words. "I don't know, before the fight we all had with him." The words were all to familiar with Brian, he found himself dreaming about it in anger. Wondering why Justin was so hell bent on stopping the pills. Now he wondered if Justin was indeed taking them at all. How could Justin be depressed if he were taking anti-depressants, Brian now found his case to prove it. "He is depressed, because he's taking the pills. You can't be depressed if you are taking those pills." "Yeah, well it sure seems to me like he is depressed, why don't you check those pills and make sure they are the right things." For some reason the idea clicked in AJ's head. After watching Justin take the advil, and the face Justin had when taking the pill the day the fight ended, he found himself wondering about the question he would ask. "What if he is taking the Advil still?" "AJ, that's fucked up, we all saw him take the pill out of the anti-depressant bottle." The question was absurd, but Christina had not yet listened to AJ's final argument, involved little enough to only turn the idea down before listening to further suggestions. "No, what if he switched the pills, I mean, what if he took the advil pills and put them in the anti-depressant bottle, and vice-versa. Then when we got off the bus the one day, the same time he switched bunks he hid the real pills, and put the anti-depressants in plain view for us to see." The whole idea was a little to Sherlock Holmes for the others, but AJ hoped he would at least get one fan to agree with him. Hoping that some one would believe him, knowing that it was capable, and after all Justin was having the same symptoms as depression. "It's possible, but I doubt it, I mean, well..." Even Brian could find any reason not to try the explanation. "Maybe we could check, when we get back." The shock was felt around the table, no one expected Brian to agree to such an idea, and yet Brian was the one who made the first mention of actually seeing if it was in fact reality and not just some possible solution. "Well, I'm done." It came as no shock when every one else uttered the words after Nick. All of them wanted to see what the truth was, and of course what lies Justin may have hidden from his best friend, the Backstreet Boys, Christina and most of all Brian. In the mist of there thoughts, Brian began to terrorize his mind with thoughts. 'What if he is tricking us?' 'Why would he do that?' 'What am I going to do if he really is doing it?' "Brian, you coming?" Howie broke Brian's train of thought, as he snapped his fingers in the face of the young lover. Brian stood in agreeance, throwing down a ten for a tip, and running out of the building with the others. One by one they piled onto the bus in silence, hoping not to wake Justin. In there silence no one noticed that the driver was still not on the bus. Kevin stopped the procession at the bunk his cousin and Justin occupied. Slightly pulling the curtain back, he could tell Justin was sleeping. Lifting his hand over the body, he grabbed the bottle off the shelf. Shaking it to the others, he made his way to the living area. Taking a seat, and waiting for the others, Kevin slowly undid the cap, pouring the contents onto the table. Picking it up, he looked at one, then another, then another, until finally he slammed it down. In anger, Brian quickly picked one up, hoping that it wasn't true. "I'm gonna kill him, what the fuck was he thinking." The whole group could not speak as Brian screamed in anger. The small shuffle of feet caught them off guard, as turning to catch the sight of Justin in a pair of plaid boxers running from the bus. "Shit." Brian stood and ran after Justin, hoping to catch up to him. Brian could see Justin standing near the gas station back door, leaning up against a crate full of boxes. "Get away from me." "Jus..." "I said get away from me." The tears fell from Justin's face, as he pushed at Brian's shoulder. Brian showed now sign of leaving, in agony he bowed his head. "I said get the fuck away from me." The thoughts in Brian's head were spinning, he knew that Justin didn't mean what he was saying. But some where he felt the need to just hit something, not Justin, never Justin, but something. Trying to calm himself, and looked up at his agonized lover. "Please, just come back to the bus, talk to us, at least talk to me. Please." The pleading in Brian's voice was loud and clear, if Justin couldn't hear it, he was deaf to the human voice. Justin looked up in anger, as his tears flowed down his face. He hung his head down again, as he watched the rest of his friends come running over. "Let's go Justin, back on the bus." Kevin barked out, knowing that no matter what Justin wouldn't listen to him. Eyeing Brian, and sensing his pain, he cleared his voice and began again. "I said on the bus, by yourself, or we carry you like a baby." "Get the fuck away from me. I want to be alone. God, can't I ever be alone for one fucking second. Just one fucking second, alone, by myself." Inching away from the group, Justin slowly calculated his options, he didn't have many. He could run and eventually be caught by the large group, or he could agree to go onto the bus. Justin's naiveness got the best of him and he took off running. Kevin was the first to begin pursuit, followed by Brian and the rest. Brittany and Christina lagging behind, but managing to keep in viewing distance. "Kevin, don't hurt him, just grab him." In the midst of his anger, Brian began to think clearly, his first thoughts having to do with the well being of Justin. It was to late for that though, as Kevin gained on Justin, he leaped forward, sending Justin crashing to the ground in a roll, stumbling over rocks and a rolling legs first into a tree. Kevin stood and dusted himself off, slowly walking to the tree Justin lay by. The others stopped to gather around to see what had happened. Justin cried out in pain, his body was covered in scrapes, bleeding from numerous places, including his mouth and nose. The moans of pain were much more then just that of scrapes. As Brian looked down, he could tell that Justin's leg was hurt. "I told you not to hurt him." Brian pushed Kevin, causing confusion around the group. Brian bent down to look at Justin's wounds. "Get away from me." Moans and gasps followed Justin's voice, as he tried to stand in pain. Managing to pull himself up, Justin began to slowly limp back towards the direction of the tour bus. Lagging behind, the group made there way to the tour bus slowly. Justin climbed the steps, not putting any weight on his right leg, and fell into the living area's main couch. Covering his face he let his moans out, and his tears flow. "Justin, where does it hurt?" Taking a seat next to his lover, Brian began to stroke Justin's back. "I can't help you unless you tell me where it hurts." In all honesty, the question was stupid. Looking over his body, any one could tell where it hurt. It hurt every where. He had scrapes and cuts on his arms, legs, back and chest, not to mention the cut on his lip and the cut nose. His right leg was obviously injured, but he still made no signs of speaking. "Let's just get him to a hospital and let a doctor check him out. He obviously isn't going to talk to any of us, if he won't talk to you." Kevin sat down next to Brian, slamming his fists on the table. Brian turned around with hate in his eyes. "Why did you tackle him?" "I had to, he wouldn't stop running. It was the best way to stop him." The only answer he could give, was given. Kevin had no real reason behind it, it seemed like the most logical thing to do was to tackle him. As long as he was stopped, he knew that Justin was safe. "I didn't mean to hurt him. I'm sorry I did, but how else were we going to get him to stop?" "I don't know, maybe we could have talked to him. Instead of this." The look on Kevin's face was that of pain, he hadn't felt it in a while, but after looking at the battered body of the crying Justin, he could feel it in excess. Standing he left the room and crawled into his bunk. "Justin, Kevin's really sorry he hurt you, but please tell us what's wrong. We need to get you help, your cut up pretty bad." Brian ignored the fact that it was his leg that caused the most pain. Stroking it carefully, Brian slowly felt for any lumps, or sharp points, checking to see if Justin's leg was indeed broken. As Brian approached the knee, he found the source. "Owwwwwwwwwww" Tears flowed for the face of the young Justin, he quickly grabbed a hold of Brian's waist, and wrapped around for dear life. Moaning and crying into Brian's chest, getting over his anger, in the presence of his pain. Brian withdrew his hand from Justin's leg and caressed his hair. "Don't worry, it'll be okay. AJ, go tell the driver to find the nearest hospital, and quick." Eyeing the room, Brian commanded AJ the closet to the front to inform the driver of there needs. "I'm right here for you Justin, you can cry as long as you need to, just let it all out." Brian's hands were gentle and warm, filled with only love. Anger and remorse did not even cross his mind. The pills were the last thing on his mind, his only thoughts were of getting Justin's knee checked out, and as quickly as possible. "What do you want us to do?" Standing in shock, Christina pointed to herself and Brittany. "Get some water so he can take one of these advils, and get a washcloth and towel so I can clean up his cuts." Whispering was now the source of Brian's voice, hoping that the softness would soothe Justin, and calm him from his pain. Howie picked up an advil and handed it to Brian smiling, Christina and Brittany hurried to the kitchen and bathroom, grabbing their designated items of aid. Handing them to Brian, they took back there stances of shock. "Justin, I need you to take this advil." Justin raised his head enough for Brian to slip the pill in, he swallowed it with a quick sip of water, and went back to crying on Brian's lap. "The driver called in to management, and they said the nearest hospital is in Portland, and we are an hour away, so we are just going to have to wait." AJ was now back in from his instructions with news from the front of the bus. Not good news, his news was that of the bad kind, sending pain into every ones body. They all knew it would be hard to calm Justin down with so much pain in him. "Justin, it's going to be awhile, but I'm going to clean you up, and then you can take a nap, any where you want." Applying the washcloth to Justin's back he began to work on the small cuts Justin had accumulated. He worked carefully, and smoothly, hoping the warmth would put Justin to sleep. After he finished the back, he moved to Justin's left leg. With the minimal damage done to that part of his body, Brian moved on to Justin's right leg, the injured leg. Justin quickly pulled it back, causing even more pain, but Brian got the point and finished up Justin's upper half. "All done. Now where do you wanna sleep? In a bunk? or right her?" The answer had been given, as Brian picked Justin up and headed towards their bunk, sliding Justin carefully in, he pulled himself up. relaxing he threw the blanket over Justin, and tucked him in gently. He wrapped his arms around him, as Justin tried to doze into sleep. Brian knew it would be the only way for Justin's pain to end, but sleeping with pain was no easy task. As Brian found out too, the hour that AJ had promised, was over with in seconds as far as Brian's mind was concerned. As the bus pulled into the lot, Brian slid out of the bed, grabbing Justin, and sliding him out into his arms. Inside Brian stood with the doctor, as Justin moaned in pain under the nurses care. "Alright Mr. Litrell we are going to need to ask you a few questions." "Sure doctor, anything." "First off, we have to know how this happened to him." "Well, we had a fight, and a couple of us were chasing after him to get him to come back to our bus, and he fell, and rolled into a tree." "Alright, and what would you say the impact with his leg was. Did he fall on it, roll on it, jam it up against something, twist it between a rock, anything along those lines?" "Um, I don't know to be honest, I saw him take a dive, and then he rolled straight into the tree, feet first, so that could be it." In all seriousness, Brian had not witnessed the whole ordeal. He saw Kevin push him, and then the roll, the impact, and that was the end of it in his eyes. "That is all I need, I just wanted to find anything out about how he landed, or was hit. It will help us in the tests if we know what we may be looking for." "Oh, in that case you should probably know, that when I rubbed his knee, he screamed out in pain." "Thank you. We will let you know when the tests are done." The doctor ushered Brian out of the room, and led him to where his friends had been left. Eyeing them Brian took a seat next to Brittany and Christina. "So, what's going on?" "I don't know Kev, maybe if you had never done this, we would have been going on, going on to our hotel, but now Justin's sitting in that room screaming in pain, while they check his leg for the injury." "I told you I was sorry, I didn't mean to hurt him. I didn't know that I would cause so much damage. I only had good intentions, I just wanted to get him down, to stop him." "And then you nearly killed him. He's got bruises every where, and his leg is pretty fucked up. I'm sure you heard the scream. I know you aren't deaf." "I'm sorry, and I'll say it to him when he gets out, but I can't do anything else." "I don't think he'll want to talk to you. You know how he feels about being hit, or pushed, or even teased. Afer this, I don't think he will want to see you for a while." Brian's words were final. The others took the silence as a chance to sleep, while Brian stood to pace the room. An hour and a half would pass before the doctor would return with news. "Mr. Litrell?" "Yes?" "Justin is doing fine now. His leg is broken in two spots, and he dislocated his knee. I will spare you the medical information, and just inform you of what is going to be done. We are going to put Justin in a cast, which should take about 2 hours to do, and when that is done, Justin will not be able to walk for 2-3 months. We will give you a wheelchair, and you will be asked to sign some papers to ensure that he will be watched over. I will return when the cast is on with him." "Thank you, we'll be waiting." Turning his attention back to pacing, Brian looked around the room for any sign of life. No one was awake. He desperately needed some one to talk to, and with Justin injured, it couldn't be him. He had to let his feelings out to some one, in his own thoughts, Brian didn't even notice that Nick had woken up and had begun to make his way over to him. "Wanna talk about it?" "Um, wanna talk about what?" "Anything, everything, you know I used to be the guy you turned to for help, I miss that." "I'm sorry, I've just had a lot on my mind. With Justin and our fight, now the pills, and now this, I don't know what to do. Obviously yelling at him doesn't help, it only made things worse, but how can I make him take the pills, I can't watch him 24/7." "I don't think you'll have to any more. I think a lot has changed in the last 2 and a half hours. Did you see the way Justin turned to you when he was in pain? He wouldn't have done that if he was depressed, he turned to you because he knows he needs you. Other wise he wouldn't have let you wash him, or let you sleep with him. I bet you that when he wakes up for the first thing he's going to ask for is those pills, just wait and see." Hoping for a smile, that just wasn't coming Nick continued. "Well, first thing after you give him a big kiss and he thanks you." Getting the smile he was hoping, Nick leaned over and hugged Brian. "Anything else you wanna get off your chest?" "No, but thanks. I really needed someone to talk to, and well, I'm glad you and I still have this bond." "Your welcome, and I'm glad too." "I don't know what I would have done if you had outed me when I told you I was gay." "Bri, that was how long ago, a year, why bring it up now?" "Because I never told you guys how happy I was that you guys still accepted me. I had this huge fear that you guys would kick me out of the band. Not to mention how scared I was when I had to tell Kevin. I dreaded what I thought would be his anger, but when I got nothing but love from you guys, I wanted to cry, I was so happy." "We knew, especially when we first met Justin in the hospital. We could tell how angry you were, when you found out about how they were treating him. We were really proud of you for sticking up for him. You showed a lot of guts in that room, a lot." "Thanks, but I never could have done it without you guys. I know you didn't say anything to me, but I never would have been able to live with myself, if you guys weren't there. I would have had to much of a fear." "I think you would have managed, after all you were only looking out for Justin." "Ya know what? He didn't even know I was gay at first, or at least I don't think he did. The first night I gave him a bath, he asked me if I had a girlfriend. I said no, and he didn't say anything after that." "Aw, you hurt his feelings, he was probably hoping you would say, Brian make love to me, and father my child." "Shut up, I felt so bad. I wanted to just tell him my feelings for him, but I didn't want to take advantage of him." "Just be glad he's all grown up now, if you had done this to him when he was 15, he would just be going through puberty, and you would have been bathing a squeeking, hairless baby. Then we would have been in trouble with the news." "Ouch, that was a low spot. Nicholas Gene Carter you apologize right now, before I call your mother." "Yeah, what ever, you can use that all you like, but it won't phase me. I'm an adult now, remember one year and I turn 21, then I can drink. Your man still has a year before he's done being a teenager." "He's still a man though." "Really, I couldn't tell when he was screaming and crying on your lap today, mind refreshing my memory of a man." "Nick, that wasn't even funny. He was hurting, I can't even believe you." In all honesty, Brian was hurt. He could not believe that Nick would make fun of Justin for crying. Nick after all was his best friend, the one person he could turn to if he needed it. He did not expect this from Nick. "I was only joking, geez I didn't think you take it seriously." "Well, I did, and I didn't appriciate it. How would you like it if I broke your leg in two spots, twisted your knee out and cut up the rest of your body?" "Shit, he busted his leg up in two spots, and twisted his knee out. I didn't even know." "He did, he can't walk for 2-3 months. He's gotta be in a wheelchair." "I'm so sorry Bri, I wouldn't have said it, if I knew that. Is there anything you want. Some coffee from the cafe, a magazine, anything?" Frantically Nick tried to think of something to make up for his comments, after hearing the pain in Brian's voice as he described the injuries Justin had sustained. "No, I'm fine, I just wanna think for a while. Thanks anyways." "I'm sorry, but I'll give you some time to think." The waiting room returned to it's quiet, as Nick went back to his seat. He truly did feel like shit. His heart hurt just thinking about how much Brian hurt. His bestfriend was in pain, and he had made it worse with his joke. Brian started pacing the room again, waiting for the doctor's arrival. "Mr. Litrell, I'm going to need to talk to you about the medicine Justin will need to take before I can bring Justin out here. To begin with, he mumbled something about some pills between cries, do you know anything about this?" "Yeah, he's on anti-depressants for something that happened in his past." "Alright, well in addition to him taking those, I am going to ask that you make sure he take these extra strength prescription advils, once every day. I would say around breakfast time if possible. If the pains start to kick up, just take him to a hospital, and show them the pills and they should be able to handle it. I will bring him out in a minute, if you have any clothes for him, they would be appriciated, those boxers of his aren't holding up very well." "I'll make sure to get him into something warmer as soon as we get to our bus. Thank you doctor." "It will be a moment before he's out." "Alright, guys time to get up." With that Brian went around the room tapping every one on the shoulders, and punching Kevin extremely hard to show his anger. "Justin's ready to head home." "Really, what's wrong with him?" Groggily rubbing her eyes, Brittany was the first to spill out the question plaqueing everyone but Brian and Nick's minds. "Well, he broke his leg in two places, and popped his knee out. He won't be able to walk for 2-3 months, and he needs to take some pills for it." Trying to keep a smile of reassurance on his face through out the whole conversation was tough. Brian didn't want to think about, yet have to repeat it to any one. The conversation would be cut short, as the nurse wheeled Justin through the door. "Justin, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." Before Brian could even saying hello to his lover, Kevin began to apologize for his earlier actions. "I know you won't forgive me, but I really am sorry." "Kev, chill, it was my fault, I shouldn't have ran away. But right now, I'm really tired, and my whole body aches, all I wanna do is get on the bus and take a nap." Brian was shocked by Justin's words. He didn't expect anything that flowed from his mouth, he expected fear and silence, but was met with complete opposites. "Hey Babe, I love you." Bending down Brian kissed Justin on the cheek. "Let's get you out of here." "Thanks, but before I sleep, I'm gonna take my pill, the real one, not the advil. And I promise I won't do anything like this again. It was really stupid of me to run from you and the guys, now I'm stuck like this for 3 months." Smiling Justin, winced in pain as Brian started to push him. The elevator set the group off at the parking lot area, and Justin was loaded into the bus, his wheelchair left in the kitchen. Brian carried him to the living area. "So, where did you hide the real pills?" Looking around Brian couldn't even think of where they may have actually been. "I didn't, they are in bathroom cabinet. Bring them all here, so we can put them in the right bottle." "Alright, I'll be back in a minute." Brian turned, the quicker he left, the sooner he would get back. Brittany and Christina took seats next to each other on Justin's left side, as the guys headed straight to their beds. "Are you going to be alright?" Brittany took the time she and Christina had alone with Justin to ask him the question that had been eating her apart, since Brian told them what was going on. "Yeah, I'll be fine, it still hurts. It still hurts a lot, but I'll be fine." "It isn't everyday we have to see one of our bestfriends in a cast." The conversation was now joined by Christina. "I know, but really, I'll be fine. I have you guys, and I have Brian. Oh god do I have Brian. He'll be here for me, even when I ask him to leave." The smile that every teenage girl admired adorned Justin's face. "Trust me, it's cool, I will be fine." "Just checking, because we luv' ya." Justin felt two kisses, one on each cheek as Brittany and Christina teased him. "You can't get up and run away, so we can do this all we want." "Unless you wanna deal with me, there will be no kissing my man, unless I'm the one doing the kissing." Brian was standing in front of Justin with one of his anti-depressant pills. He handed it and a glass of water to Justin, and Justin swallowed it down. "Yeah, and any ways, we can kiss when he isn't around. What he doesn't know can't hurt him." Smiling Justin continued up his tease with Brittany and Christina. "Oh really, then maybe you don't need my help with any thing around here? Like bathing, getting dressed, combing your hair, and now getting around. I guess if that's what you want, I could get used to that." Brian's smile was much larger then Justin's receding one. Justin's face turned into that of a pout, saddened by Brian's teasing. "I sorry, pees forigive me." Timidly Justin spoke in a child like voice, eying Brian for a smile. "Maybe later, but right now, your hitting the hay." With out complaining Justin let Brian pick him up. Brian deposited him in the bed, and then slowly turned. "What, you aren't coming in?" "No, I wanna talk to Brittany and Christina for a little bit. Ya know, catch up, and just chat." "Don't be long, I don't wanna be alone, I wanna go to sleep. And I need you to do that." Sadly Justin turned to his side, trying to relax, the pain in his leg still killing him. Brian shut the curtain and took off towards the back of the bus. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ **Well, this chapter is done. I want to thank the people who e-mail again. Even the few that send me criticism. I enjoy them just as much.** **You can look for the next chapter to be out in a while. It will most likely be just one chapter, instead of the regular 2 chapters like they have been so far.** **Got any ideas, suggestions, criticism, or praise, e-mail me at aci_85@hotmail.com or aci2785@hotmail.com **