Date: Tue, 30 Jan 2001 21:59:47 -0800 (PST)
From: Mel J <melanjea_bsb@yahoo.com>
Subject: Lost Innocence

Disclaimer!!!!! I dont know AJ Mclean or Nick Carter,
or ANY of the Backstreet Boys and this has no
reflection on there sexuality or sexual preference,
although I have my suspicions. *grin* Hope you like
this, read and enjoy and feedback is always
welcome!!-Mel



Lost Innocence-Chapter One
By Mel
2001


      The blond looked out the window of the hotel
room, rubbing his new tattoo absentmindly. He had lost
his innocence. Well, not really, after all he had
never been that innocent. Fans would be shocked. But
not the guys, especially AJ.
   Aj. Nick swallowed hard. Just the thought of him
made Nick's mouth water. It was getting harder to hide
it, Hell, he didnt even know if he wanted to anymore.
   "Nick?" he turned around at the sound of his voice,
felt himself get hard. Damn. He silently willed his
erection to go down. No deal, in fact it just got
harder.
    "Yeah, come on in AJ." Nick's voice came out
husky, an aroused husky that nearly melted Aj's bones.
He didnt know when he started noticing Nick, but now
he couldnt seem to stop.
   Aj came into the hotel room, and closed the door.
"I need to talk to you about something." he said, his
own voice raspier than usual. Nick gupled, and ran a
hand through his spikey hair. Did Aj know?
    "Everyone Knows I am bi, but I think I am in
love." Nick went pale. Could Aj be in love with him?
Was he hopeing for too much? or did he love someone
else? Nick sat down on the bed, willing his hands to
stop shaking.
   Aj walked over to Nick, his heart beating fast.
"Nick" he breathed, tipping Nick's chin up with a
finger, so Nick could look into his eyes, his heart.
"I love you." Nick licked his lips and Aj groaned.
    "Aj.." was all Nick could say. Then he kissed him.
It was heaven, like he had waited all his life for
this moment, this kiss. Lips parted, tongues touched.
Sweet heaven.
    Nick opened his mouth, letting Aj in. The room
spun. Heavy breathing, moans. Aj slowly pulled back.
"Nick...that was.." Nick smiled.
   "I know." Aj pulled Nick against him, just holding
him.
   "I think..no, I know. I love you, AJ." Aj
shuddered, and ran his hands through Nick's hair. Nick
sighed. "What are we going to tell the others?" he
asked, almost plaintivly.
   Aj knew what he was really saying. AJ bieng bi was
one thing. He was the wild child of the group, and it
wouldnt suprise anyone that he played both sides of
the fence. But Nick? that was a harder pill to
swallow.
   "I dont know.. But we have to. They are our
brothers." Nick nodded. He had known he was gay for a
long time, but he had never expected to fall for one
of his bandmates. He looked up at Aj, needing
reassurance that this was the right thing to do.
   Aj knew what Nick was thinking. "We cant start this
on lies.. I dont want this to turn into a soap opera."
Nick giggled. "you think that is funny?" Aj asked,
raising an eyebrow. He inched his fingers under Nick's
shirt and started to tickle him.
   "Aj! oh god !" Nick yelled, tears of laughter
streaming down his cheeks. Aj was tickling him to
death.
    "I am never going to let you go" Aj shrieked, and
sent them both tumbling to the floor.
   "You mean that?" Nick asked suddenly serious. AJ
stopped tickling him, his body aware of just who was
under him.
     "Yes, Nick, god yes.." Their lips met again.
   Nick's tongue, wet and hot came out to tease Aj's
lower lip, tasting, curious. AJ moaned, a husky, deep,
sexy moan. Nick dipped further.
    "Holy shit!" That got their attention. Blue and
Brown eyes looked up. Shocked green eyes met their
unapologetic gaze.
    "Kevin." AJ got up off Nick, but not breaking
physical contact.
   "I love him." Kevin couldnt say a word. A million
things crossed his mind in a second.
    "Say something." Nick stood up, wrapping his arms
around Aj. Kevin fled. Shit.
     "Now what?" Aj asked.
   "I dont think he left because he is mad" Came
Nick's reply, his voice thoughtful. Aj turned around
in Nick's arms.
    "Did I miss something?" he asked, his brown eyes
curious.
   "I think he is jealous." Aj's eyes widened.
       "What?!" he exclaimed. Nick smiled gently. He
had known for a while, but kept quiet in case he had
been wrong. He wasn't. Kevin was gay. And in love with
Aj.
    "He loves you." AJ, shaking his head, pulled away
from Nick.
   "No."
    "Yes."
    AJ didnt know what to say. He didnt want to hurt
Kevin, never wanted to hurt Kevin. But he loved Nick,
that would never change. At least he didnt think so.
Nick watched the play of emotions on Aj's face.
   "You ok?" He asked, suddenly worried. He didnt want
to lose him, not so soon.
    "Nick. I love you. I just dont want to see Kevin
hurting." Nick nodded. He didnt either. The older man
had been a brother to him for so long. But he didnt
want to hide, either.
   A muffled cough interrupted them. Kevin. Again.
This time with a sheepish expression on his face. "I
am sorry guys. I didnt mean to run like that." His
voice was soft.
    Aj walked over to him, and closed the door. "Sit
down with us...Nick told me." Kevin's green eyes
clouded for a second.
   "How did you know?" He whispered. His heart ached.
   "Just a guess. We dont want to hurt you, but..."
Kevin looked at both of them. He wanted them to be
happy. But it hurt, how it hurt.
   "It will be ok. But if you hurt him, I will kill
you." Kevin's green eyes met Nick's and a look passed
between them. Nothing more was said. Aj let out a sigh
of relief. He grinned. Maybe this would be ok after
all.
   Kevin wasn't betting on it.