Date: Tue, 31 Aug 1999 17:15:09 PDT
From: Jason Clarke <jaclarke@hotmail.com>
Subject: Loving Nick - Part 6

This story involves members of the bands Backstreet Boys and N'SYNC.  I am
in no way implying anything about the sexuality of any of their members.
This is purely a fictional story.  Enjoy!

This is my first attempt at writing a story like this so please bear with
me. Please send any comments and/or suggestions to jaclarke@hotmail.com

			  * * * * * * * * * * * *

Loving Nick - Part 6
 
"Nick!!!" Lance yelled, "where are you?"

"Shhhh...don't let the whole world hear you," Nick said.  "I really want to
see you in person and talk with you, can you meet me somewhere?"

"Yes, yes!!!  Anywhere!!!"

"Can you meet me behind the Olympic Stadium in an hour??"

"Of course!!"

"See you then, Lance.  And don't let anyone know that I phoned
you...please."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Lance finished packing up and tried to hide his excitement so that the
others wouldn't get suspicious.  He excused himself and caught a cab.  He
arrived at the Olympic Stadium in about 45 minutes.  He walked around to
the back and looked for Nick.  By this time, many of the tourists had left
so it wasn't too difficult to find Nick.  Lance saw his love immediately.
Nick was sitting on a bench, his head buried in his hands.

Lance walked up to where Nick was sitting and sat down beside him.  "Are
you alright?" Lance asked softly.

Nick looked up and saw Lance beside him, and a small smile appeared on his
face.  Despite the smile, Lance could see that sadness and loneliness
totally consumed Nick.

"Thanks for coming, Lance," Nick finally said.  "You're the only one that I
can really talk to now."

"Any time, Nick," Lance answered in a reassuring tone.

Nick took Lance's hands and they both walked around the park.  Lance
noticed that Nick wasn't nervous about anyone seeing them holding hands.
Although he was a little apprehensive about this, he also felt pure joy at
Nick's seeming acceptance of him.

Eventually, they walked back to a small hotel near the Olympic Stadium.
They went up to Nick's room and they continued talking.

"So why did you leave, Nick?" Lance finally asked.  He was not sure if this
was a wise move, not knowing if Nick really wanted to talk about it or not.

"I guess I was just scared, that's all.  I didn't know how to face the
other guys anymore.  So I took the easy way out," Nick answered dejectedly.

Lance held Nick tight, trying to be a pillar of strength for him.  He
looked Nick in his eyes and said firmly, "No, Nick, what you've done over
the past few days can only be described as courageous.  You didn't run away
from your troubles, but you stayed to deal with them.  But you are only
human, Nick, and sometimes trying to get away is not such a bad thing."

Nick smiled.  Lance always managed to make him feel good about himself.  He
wondered why he didn't notice that before.

They continued talking for a long time and before they knew it, it was
almost midnight.  Even though Lance understood why Nick ran away, he did
not completely agree with his decision.  One of the reasons why Lance came
tonight was to convince Nick to go back with him.

"Nick, why don't you come back with me tonight?  I know you're still angry
at the guys but they're really worried about you."

Nick shook his head.  "The only person who worries about me is you, Lance.
The others wouldn't care if I turned up dead one morning."  Nick's answer
was full of bitterness and anger.

Lance cringed at the thought of finding Nick dead on the street.  "No,
don't ever say things like that!!"  Lance hugged Nick tightly and said,
"don't ever leave me, Nick."

Nick hugged Lance and gave him a quick kiss.  After another hour of
persuasion, it was clear to Lance that Nick would not go back with him
tonight.  In a way, he was getting annoyed at Nick's stubbornness.

"Nick, despite what they did to you, they really do care about you.  It was
a mistake that they did, but that doesn't change the way that they feel
about you," Lance explained.  "Are you going to forget your years of
friendship because of this one incident?"

"Maybe they should've thought of that before they got me in bed with
Brian," Nick shot back.  The conversation was becoming more heated, and
Nick didn't like where this was heading.

Lance also noticed Nick's increasing annoyance with the topic of
discussion.  He was afraid that he would alienate Nick but he was also
determined to set things right between Nick and the rest of the guys.

"Nick, you can't stay angry at them forever," Lance said to Nick in a
serious tone.

"Look, Lance, I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Nick, trying to push them out of your mind won't solve the problem.  You
don't want to do something that you'll regret for the rest of your life."

"I said I don't want to talk about this anymore," Nick said again, raising
his voice this time.

"I'm not finished, Nick.  You're 19 now, and you can't just run away from
everything.  You've had enough time to think and don't you think it's time
to go back and resolve this whole mess with the guys?"

Nick looked at Lance without saying a word.  When he started to speak, his
voice was shaking, "So...so you think I'm immature and wrong too, Lance?
You're just like the other guys.  I thought you were on my side???"  Nick's
eyes were filled with tears as he spoke.  He could not believe that he
would fall for the stupid trick again.  Lance was just like all the other
guys, using him as a toy, playing with his emotions and throwing him aside
when they were done.

"I didn't say that, Nick!!!" Lance began to panic, the conversation was
spinning out of control.  His worst fear was becoming reality.  He needed
to do something quick before he lost Nick.

"But that's what you meant, Lance," Nick yelled.  "You said that you loved
me, and would support me and all.  But they were all fucking lies!!!!!"

"That's not true, Nick."  Lance was crying by this time, knowing that he
had committed a horrible mistake.  He had pushed Nick too far this time.

"You know what?  I don't need any of you, you can all just get the fuck out
of my life!!!"

"Nick...please!!!"

"I said get out!!  Go back to them and tell them what a stupid idiot I've
been.  I've been laughed at enough so one more time wouldn't hurt."

Lance tried to hug Nick to calm him down.  Nick pushed him aside and Lance
fell onto the bed.  "Just get out, Lance.  I don't want to talk to you or
see you again.  I can't believe I trusted you and believed you when you
said that you loved me."

Lance could not believe his ears, he stormed out of the room in tears and
slammed the door behind him.  How could Nick say those things to me, Lance
thought.  He felt deeply hurt yet at the same time, he hated himself for
messing up this whole evening.  What started out to be an attempt to
reconcile differences ended up with him losing Nick.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Nick laid on his bed crying, as has been the case over the last few days.
He hated himself for lashing out at Lance.  Why did I have to yell at
Lance, he thought.  Nick knew it wasn't Lance's fault, but he just couldn't
hold his anger and bitterness back any longer.  Now Lance would probably
hate him for life, Nick thought.  So many things were going through Nick's
head but there seemed to be no answer to his problems.  Eventually, he
cried himself to sleep.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Lance walked into the hotel with his eyes red from crying.  It was almost 2
a.m. and he hoped that none of the other guys would see him.  After all,
they were bound to ask tons of questions about why he was out so late and
why he looked so pathetic and all.  He was never good at lying so he was
afraid that he would tell them about Nick by accident.  He was hurt by
Nick's words but Lance was not about to break his promise to his love.

Lance hurried into the elevator and headed up to his floor.  He quickly
walked towards his room fumbled with the keys.

"Lance, where have you been this late?"

Lance turned around quickly and saw JC and Brian standing in the hall.

"Where've you been?  We've been looking all over for you?"

Lance was caught.  What was he going to tell the guys?


...to be continued....

Will Lance tell the guys about Nick?  What is Nick going to do now that he
has lost Lance too?

Please send any comments and/or suggestions to jaclarke@hotmail.com