Date: Fri, 14 May 2004 12:37:31 -0700 (PDT)
From: Shannon <swimfan_777@yahoo.com>
Subject: Model Me Chapter 14

Disclaimer: Anything mentioned in this story is complete fiction. The
sexuality of anyone in the story is not necessarily true, but just written
to entertain. If you are underage or if it is illegal to read pornographic
material where you live, please leave now. Also, if you are uncomfortable
with gay relationships, you should not read any farther. For everyone else,
enjoy the show....

      The early morning sunlight was just splashing over the rumpled white
sheets when Justin sat up in bed with a start. He was sure that this time
he had heard a distinct noise from downstairs. He always slept very lightly
these days. He kind of had to just to keep his sanity. Sure the security
system helped just to reassure him that he was alone in the huge house and
no one was lurking outside in the bushes. But he still always seemed to be
on edge, very watchful out in public, and extremely aware of his
surroundings.
      Justin glanced at the security monitor on the wall directly across
from him again. It was still completely black, but he noticed this time
that no lights blinked or shown green like they usually did. All of the
fancy and ridiculously expensive security was no good to him if he didn't
remember to turn it on. He threw the sheets off his chiseled naked frame
and quickly pulled on a pair of sweat pants that were lying just in reach
on a nearby chair. He glanced at the phone on his nightstand wondering if
calling the police was a good idea. He decided it wasn't the best publicity
he could get especially because it was just probably one of the guys
raiding his refrigerator. He was positive that would make him look like a
complete idiot with the S.W.A.T team charging through his door and
surprising Chris in mid bite of his Capn' Crunch. So he passed on the phone
idea instead pulling out the nightstand drawer and grabbing his .357
semi-automatic Mark XIX Desert Eagle Pistol. It was the best gun money
could buy, it could hit a mark six hundred and fifty feet away with its
standard 6-inch barrel, was equipped with a laser sight, and the capability
to shoot under water. Whenever those two features would come in handy
Justin still hadn't figured out, but he liked the way the weapon felt in
his hand, a little heavier then other .357's but well worth it. Even its
sleek tailored design and shinning gold barrel gave the allure he never
thought he would see in a fire arm. He slammed the cartridge into the
bottom, leaving the safety on but keeping his finger poised over it as he
exited the room.
      All seemed quite on the western front but he could sense someone
moving around downstairs. Maybe in the den, he wasn't sure. He walked
slowly down the white carpeted steps, vowing to move to a different state
if someone had actually broken into his house...again, reaching the living
room. Since there was no wall to separate the kitchen and the room he now
stood in, listening careful for movement somewhere in the house, he
continued on to the other rooms stopping next to the closed guest bedroom
door, which he was positive he had left open. Both of his hands grasped the
gun holding it close to his body as he listened to the movement inside the
room. Just as he was about to burst in on the thief or thieves in action,
taking what he wasn't sure because he hadn't gotten around to fully
decorating that room yet, he heard a low muffled curse word as something
hit the floor. He recognized it immediately letting the gun fall to his
side and relaxing. He hadn't noticed but his whole body had been
terrifyingly tense since he had heard the first disturbance. The muscles in
his arms ached and he rubbed his shoulder trying to relieve the pain. It
was so strange how one minute he could be so intent on protecting himself
and his property that he was ready to take a human life, or at least injure
one pretty badly, and now he just felt foolish holding the heavy gun in his
sweaty hand. He released the cartridge and set both pieces carefully on the
glass table next to him in the hallway. He opened the door to the room and
smiled brightly when the women turned around.
      "You're up," she said sounding almost disappointed.
      "You're here," he said trying not to sound disappointed.
      She grabbed him and held on to him grasping his bare back tightly.
      "God it feels like I haven't seen you in so long," she said quietly.
      "It's only been a week mama," he said releasing the older woman.
      "I know," she said touching his face and smiling, "but still."
      "So..." he said.
      "What?" she asked turning back to her suitcase which was one of many
sitting on the bed.
      "I love that you came to visit and all," Justin said joining her
travel entourage on the red bedspread, "but you didn't call or anything. I
would have picked you up from the airport."
      "I know sweets."
      "Is everything okay at home?"
      "Of course it is. It's just your father being, well his difficult
self again. I just had to get away from him for a few days."
      "Its fine," he said touching her hand when she stopped pulling things
out of her suitcase and hung her head a little. "Did something specific
happen?"
      "Not really, just a lot of little stuff."
      "You know you have to talk to him when something bothers you or else
this happens."
      "Everything will be fine sweets. I'll just stay out here, spend some
time with you and the boys and then go back once I have some things
straightened out."
      "Okay mamma," he said. He knew there was no way arguing with her once
she had her mind set on something. They were a lot alike in that
respect. And plus what better way to make him feel a little better then to
have his mom around cooking meals for him and hanging out with him like
they did back home. Of course he couldn't talk to her about what was really
bothering him. He could just change the fact that Craig is a guy when they
talk about it, but he really didn't like lying to her and more often then
not she knew when he was.
      "What do you have planned today baby?" she asked taking a few items
to the closet to hang up.
      "Nothing really. Why don't you stay upstairs with me instead of down
here?"
      "I always stay down here. I like for you to have your space. How
about breakfast after I'm done here?" she asked walking back over to the
bed.
      "Okay. I'm going to go take a shower and change then," he said
standing. "I'm really glad you came out," he said kissing her on the cheek.
      "Me too baby."
      He left the room feeling vaguely better about everything and almost
excited to be going to breakfast with his mom, just the two of them. He
gathered up the gun and clip just as he heard his cell phone ringing in the
kitchen. He jogged to answer it, almost not doing so when he saw that the
number was blocked but deciding that his morning was going too well already
to ruin it by having another one of his episodes that day.
      "Hello?" he said trying to sound as bright as possible, warding off
the fear that made his heart beat just a little bit faster sometimes.
      "Hey," Craig said.
      "Hi," Justin said at a loss for words. It felt like centuries since
he had heard the man's voice, or at least not the recorded reincarnation of
it.
      "Hi," Craig said dreading and possibly subconsciously trying to stall
the conversation that they would inevitably have. "Look we could do this
hey hi thing all day. Brian told me you stopped by."
      "Yeah I did. I was worried about you because you weren't returning
any of my calls."
      "Well he told you why right?"
      "Yeah," Justin said jumping up on the island counter, "I'm really
sorry. I had no idea."
      "I know Justin; it's not your fault. I should have told you."
      "Why didn't you?"
      "I don't know," Craig said after a long pause. "Honestly I thought
you wouldn't love me anymore."
      "Because your dad was sick? What kind of person would I be if I did
that?" he asked amazed.
      "Not just because he was sick...he...well he had AIDS."
      "Oh," Justin said looking at the sparkling white tile below his
feet. "How did he get it? When did he get it?"
      "Justin I don't have AIDS."
      "I know. I wasn't saying you did. I was just curious."
      "My dad, God that sounds so weird, I haven't called him dad since I
was three. Jeremy was gay. That was the reason him and my mom split. At
least the biggest reason."
      "I'm sorry, for them splitting up, not because he was gay," he added
quickly.
      Craig laughed, "I know."
      "I still don't understand why you didn't tell me."
      "It just weirds a lot of people out. They usually think they can
catch it from me just because I'm his son or something. People can be very
ignorant about things sometimes."
      "So you thought I was ignorant?" he asked smiling.
      "No," Craig laughed, "I just...I don't know I thought you would freak
out."
      "I missed you," Justin said suddenly. The feeling just sort of washed
over him that this is exactly how it's supposed to be. They were talking
about AIDS and Craig's fathers death but it was still so easy so
comfortable, there was no way in hell he was giving that up.
      "I missed you too," Craig said swallowing the lump in his throat.
      "Tell me how you're doing," he said his voice turning to concern just
as easily as it had flowed with love.
      "I'm...hangin' in there I guess. It wasn't sudden by any means but
it's still a shock."
      "Is Brian still with you?"
      "Yes he's making funeral arrangements as we speak."
      "Do you need any help with anything," he asked. When Justin said help
he didn't necessarily mean financial but he did know how expensive funerals
could be and he wasn't quite sure Craig's wallet would be up for it.
      "I think Brian's got it covered and I've tried to help out when I'm
not blubbering like a baby."
      Justin sighed.
      "I'm sorry," Craig said. "It was just a joke."
      "I'm the one who's sorry sweetie. I should have been there for you
and I wasn't. When you needed me the most I totally bailed on you."
      "You had no idea what was going on okay? Don't blame yourself."
      "Right now I can't help it."
      "Justin!" Lynn called from the bedroom.
      "Can you hang on for a second? My mom's staying with me for a few
days."
      "Oh actually I should get going. I'm going to turn my phone back on,
if I can find it. So I guess just call me when you want to talk."
      "No Craig I don't want to leave us like this. I need to see you."
      "Seriously?"
      "Of course. Can we have dinner or something?"
      "Um...yeah sure."
      "Should I pick you up?"
      "If you want."
      "I want," he said smiling.
      Craig smiled also and gave him the address to Jeremy's house.
      "So I'll see you tonight," Justin said.
      "Okay bye."
      "Bye," he said flipping his phone closed and staring out of the bay
window behind the kitchen table.
      "Who's the lucky girl?" Lynn asked appearing beside him
suddenly. "Not Britney I'm guessing."
      "No not Britney," he said jumping off the counter and grabbing the
gun quickly.
      "So, who? God sweets it looks like you have stars in your eyes,
you're so happy," she said staring up at her little boy who now towered
over her by a good seven and a half inches.
      "I'm going to go take that shower now," he said kissing her on the
forehead as he left the kitchen.
      "You're keeping this one a secret huh?" she called after him. "And
don't think I didn't see that gun mister."

***

	"Hey," Craig said knocking softly on the open den door.
      Brian waved him in turning his attention back to the phone
conversation he was having with the ticket counter at the airport.
      "Are you okay with leaving tomorrow morning?" Brian asked watching
Craig lean against the desk almost towering over him.
      "That's fine."
      "Alright," he said back into the phone, "we'll take the two for
tomorrow."
      He wrote down a few things on a pad that had other scribbled
information all over it and then hung up the phone.
      "Our flight leaves at seven tomorrow morning. It should take us about
twenty, twenty two hours to get there."
      "I forgot it was that long," he said running his hands over his face.
      "Well there's no direct flight from here to Molise. We have to change
planes in New York, then London, then on to Naples where we take about a
two hour train to Campobasso."
      "Yeah I know I just haven't been there in so long. When's the
um...fune-...um...service?" he asked crossing his arms over his chest. It
was comfortably warm in the den but nonetheless he got a cold shiver that
crawled up his spine.
      "The next day, late afternoon. "
      "Where's his...how are they going to...um transport him?" he asked
holding himself tighter.
      "By airplane then car and then he'll be at the place where we're
having the service. I had a few questions I wanted to ask you though."
      Craig nodded meeting the man's eyes.
      "These might be kind of hard but it was stuff I wasn't sure on okay?"
      Craig nodded again.
      "Do you want there to be time for a viewing?"
      "No."
      "Do you want to see him?"
      "No."
      "Are you sure?"
      Craig nodded.
      "So no open casket either."
      Craig shook his head quickly.
      "I'm sorry," Brian said running his hand over the man's arm when he
saw his eyes turn even more glassy and wet then before.
      "It's okay. Was there anything else?"
      "I just need to know if you still wanted to invite the people from
his job even though it's in Italy."
      "Yeah, I have a feeling a lot of them will still want to come."
      "Alright," he said glancing at his notepad, "how long did you want to
stay there? I scheduled a flight out the day after but I can change that."
      "That's fine. I need to get back here anyway."
      "There's also a reception I scheduled afterwards. We don't have to go
if you don't want to but I thought it would be nice for everyone."
      "I can't promise I'll feel like seeing anyone but I'll try."
      "I have a woman from Venice who's going to arrange everything, going
to Molise today. I'll know more when she gets in touch with me."
      Craig nodded, "Anything else, just handle it okay? Flowers whatever
just whatever you think he'd like. Hell you knew him just as well as I
did."
      Brian stood and wrapped his arms around Craig tightly. There was
nothing else he could really do. Honestly Craig was right on with his
statement so Brian knew anything he said wouldn't make the man feel any
better.
      "I'll start calling everyone," Brian said still hugging him.
      Craig nodded into his chest running his hand quickly over his eyes,
"Thanks."
      "No problem," he said kissing the man's damp cheek.
      He sat back down flipping through the address book again and then
just deciding to call the main office and let them spread the word.
      "I almost forgot what I actually came in to tell you," Craig said
turning back from the door.
      "What's that?" Brian asked replacing the receiver on the base of the
phone. He was positive Craig wouldn't want to hear the inevitably grim
conversation he was going to have with the people at Jeremy's office.
      "I called him," he said simply.
      "Justin?"
      "We're having dinner tonight," he said shoving his hands in the
pockets of his faded torn jeans. "It's weird but it feels like things are
going to be good again maybe."
      "They will be," he said smiling at the man.
      Craig smiled also, turning on his heels and walking out of the room.
      After Brian made his call spreading the news at the main office in
New York and then at the branch in Orlando he had about two hundred
definite attendees and that was only from the marketing and advertising
departments. He was almost positive the entire company would just shut down
for about three days while they flew everyone over to Italy. After making
all of his phone calls and considering getting the phone permanently
attached to his ear, Brian took Craig to his uncle's restaurant to spread
more of the unanticipated bad news into every corner of Orlando.
      "Amperora Craig, il mio ragazzo!" the host Mauricio said loudly when
they walked through the door. "Ché chiamata inattesa."
      Craig kissed the man on both cheeks.
      "E Brian anche, come è voi?" he asked grabbing Brian and pulling him
into a hug.
      "Sono buono. Come siete?"
      "Molto buono e così è il vostro italiano," he said kissing him on
both cheeks.
      "Thank you. I've been practicing."
      "Is Uncle Guiseppe around at all?" Craig asked the smiling man.
      "È upstairs. Lo desiderate ottenervelo per?" he asked grabbing a few
menus for the couple standing behind them.
      "No I'll find him thanks," Craig said turning to Brian. "Do you mind
waiting out here?"
       "No it's cool," he said squeezing the man's hand tightly.
      Brian watched as Craig made his way through the crowds of people
laughing and clinking glasses together cheerfully and up the stairs to the
office. He sat at the bar really needing a drink but vowing to keep a clear
head if not for himself then for Craig. He knew the conversation with his
uncle wasn't going to be an easy one but he was pretty confident Craig
could get through it that is unless his uncle said something to set him off
which was an extremely good possibility. The man may have looked like a
friendly old grandfather type but he still was part of Craig's mother's
family which meant he had an acid tongue like the rest of them, even if it
could only speak one of the most beautiful languages in the world.

***

      After hanging out with his mom all day and dodging as many questions
as he could about his "mystery woman", as she liked to call it, Justin
thought he would have been exhausted. But sleep was the furthest thing from
his mind as he bounced up the stairs to shower and dress for his date. All
he could think about was Craig. What he would look like, smell like, how he
would feel when they embraced for the first time in so long. It hadn't been
that long but days seemed to feel like years when it came to their
relationship.
      Justin stepped into the large shower stall letting the hot water run
over his tight shoulders and back as he thought about what Craig's reaction
would be when he saw him again. He knew what he wanted it to be, Craig
running into his arms and planting the biggest wettest kiss ever on his
lips would be a good start. He had a feeling it wouldn't be like that
though, and for good reason. Justin wasn't exactly sure how he would react
if something happened to his dad but he knew he wouldn't take it very
well. Just the thought of his parents being in an argument made his stomach
a little queasy and his blood run cold. As much as he wanted to make love
all night to Craig, he knew that was probably not an option so soon,
especially since after the first time they did it Justin practically walked
out on the man. He would just have to give him some time that was all, he
told himself as he slipped into a pair of boxer briefs. He went back into
the bathroom, wiping the foggy mirror off with his discarded towel and
staring at himself in the glass. Surprisingly he was still extremely tan
from summer even though it was almost March now and he liked the look of
the goatee he had decided to keep. He gave the rest of his face a quick
shave with the electric razor and then sprayed on a little Armani cologne,
the only kind he ever wore, before making his way back into the bedroom to
finish dressing. There was a small knock on the big oak doors as he stepped
into his closet.
      "Come in," he said still pushing through dress shirts and slacks
trying to find something that would make him stand out a little but not be
too flashy.
      "Need any help?" Lynn asked leaning on the entrance to the closet.
      "That's not why you came up here," Justin said not turning around.
      "I know but it sounded like a good cover," she said crossing her arms
over her chest. "It's okay if you don't want to tell me who she is or
anything. You guys just probably aren't that serious yet. I know you'll
tell me when you feel the time is right. I just want you to have a good
time."
      Justin stopped looking at the blue shirt he had pulled out and
glanced at his mom. She didn't know what she was talking about at all he
decided. Sure he usually told her about the girls he dated if they got
serious but this was entirely different. Craig and him were serious but he
couldn't just come out to his mom while he was literally still in the
closet, could he? That just didn't seem right and besides that he was
scared out of his skin. He had no idea what she would think or do. He
already knew how his dad would react but that was expected. His dad always
confessed a deep hate for all, how did he refer to them again, goddamn
fucking queers or the fags that would inevitably burn in a pit of molten
lava or billion degree fire it was hard to remember exactly which. But his
mom had never said anything, sure she hadn't defended the gay community
against his dad's harsh words but she had never out right agreed with him
either. He just didn't want to lose her. She was literally one of his best
friends, which sounds kind of odd but it was true, they were just so close
and always had been. It killed him to be keeping a secret this huge from
her but for some reason he almost thought it would help in the long run for
her not to know. For her to meet Craig as just a friend and be able to find
out what a great guy he was before casting that shadow over him by telling
her he was in love with another man. Maybe if she got to know how sweet and
loving he was it wouldn't matter that they were gay it would only matter
that they were happy and that her son had finally found true love.  He knew
it was a naïve thought but it was all he had at the moment. It was the only
thing that gave him any hope that she would accept him for who he was and
what he, at last, found out he was.
      "Wear this one," she said handing him a white collared shirt.
      "Thanks," he said taking it and slipping it over his broad muscular
shoulders.
      He picked out a pair of jeans that were extremely faded down the
front and backs of his legs and glanced at himself in the mirror trying not
to make a big deal about wondering if he looked good, in front of his
mom. The less she thought he was into this "girl" the better.
      "You're sure you don't mind me going out?" he asked while stepping
into his shoes and lacing them up.
      "I'm sure. I'll just hang out here, and I promise I won't wait up for
you."
      "Okay," he said slipping on a light brown jacket and dropping his
wallet into his back pocket.
      "Have fun."
      "I will," he said smiling at her as he slipped his watch on and
checked himself out one last time in the mirror. He couldn't remember the
last time his mom was around when he was getting ready to go out on a
date. "I love you," he said kissing her cheek.
      "I love you too baby," she said wrapping her arm around his waist as
they descended the stairs together.
      "Try to talk to dad tonight okay?" he asked grabbing his cell phone
from the coffee table and placing it in the pocket of his jacket.
      "I'll try but I'm not promising anything," she said lying back on the
couch.
      "Be careful and turn on the alarm when I leave," he called behind
him.

***

      Craig had never been more nervous in his life while dressing for a
date. He wasn't even sure it was a date but adding up the butterflies in
his stomach and the sweaty palms definitely equaled a date scenario. He had
tried on every piece of clothing Brian had packed for him twice and still
wasn't happy with any of the outcomes when he heard the door bell ring.
      "I'm not ready yet," he said to himself extremely frustrated that he
hadn't gotten back from talking to his uncle sooner.
      He picked through the clothes strewn over the room, deciding on a
light blue v-neck sweater and jeans while praying that Justin wasn't taking
him somewhere fancy. As he threw on the clothes and checked his hair, which
didn't seem to be helping the situation much, he could hear voices in the
foyer as Brian most likely invited Justin into the living room. He finally
just ran his fingers through his hair and slipped on his shoes deciding
that being on time for this was more important then looking exactly
perfect. He walked nervously down the hall and through the dinning room and
kitchen where he appeared in the living room.
      Justin's eyes seemed to twinkle right before him as he stepped closer
to the man.
      "Hi," he said smiling a little self conscious at having the man
staring at him like he was. Justin's eyes ticked repeatedly all over his
face and body either trying to recognize him or memorize him, Craig wasn't
exactly sure.
      "Hi," Justin said matching the grin that fell across Craig's full
perfectly sculpted pink lips.
      "I have a few calls to make, you guys have fun," Brian said leaving
the room and disappearing somewhere else downstairs.
      Both men seemed to hear him but neither said anything, they just held
each other's gaze for as long as possible, almost afraid to let it go or
the other might vanish into thin air.
      "Thanks for coming," Craig finally said stepping closer to him. "Did
you want to go straight to dinner or hang out here for a while?"
      "How about we go eat first?" Justin asked still not taking his eyes
from Craig's. He had almost forgotten how green they actually were.
      The car ride was filled mostly with deciding where to go eat and
avoiding any of the sensitive topics they knew they would dive into with
their meals, which was just about everything they could think to talk
about. They decided on Chinese and sat quietly towards the back of the
small restaurant for a while taking in their new surroundings.
      "I've never been here before," Justin said turning his glass of water
around on the table.
      "Me neither," Craig said pushing up the sleeves of his sweater to
reveal well toned and tanned fore arms.
      "How are you doing?" Justin finally asked placing his folded hands on
the table to quit from fidgeting with the glass.
      "I'm good. Better then yesterday."
      "What did you guys do today?"
      "Brian just mostly made arrangements for the service but we did go
see my uncle for lunch."
      "The one I met?"
      "Yeah," Craig said running his hand up and down the smooth fabric of
his sweater over his upper arm.
      "Did he already know about your dad?"
       Craig shook his head.
      "I'm sorry. That must not have been easy."
      "Not exactly but he was actually pretty cool about it and agreed to
come to the service."
      "They didn't get along?"
      "Not even a little bit. They were okay when my mom and dad were
together but when they got a divorce there was a huge controversy on that
side of the family," he said waving his hand to the side as if dismissing
it.
      "Because he was gay?"
      "That and because they thought he killed her."
      "What?" he asked amazed.
      "Well they were still really good friends after they split up, best
friends almost which was hard to believe because they weren't all that
close when they were married. But anyway they were driving somewhere and
they were in a car accident. My mom died and Jeremy came out without a
scratch on him."
      "So they thought he did it on purpose?"
      "Who knows exactly what they thought but it was a huge mess for a
while. My uncle had said a lot of hurtful things to Jeremy before that but
at the funeral it was supposedly really bad."
      "You didn't hear what he said?"
      "No. I didn't go to the funeral," he said simply.
      "Why not?"
      "My mom and I were never that close to begin with. The only reason I
think she tolerated me was because I was a good looking enough kid to win
pageants for her and do commercials and model to keep her busy. So I didn't
go. At that time the only member of my family I was talking to was my uncle
and honestly I agreed with him full heartedly about everything he said
about Jeremy."
      "What changed?"
      "I found out I was gay. Well I guess on some level I knew for a while
but it took some getting used to the idea. After that I could understand
why Jeremy had to do what he did and honestly I respected him for it. I
didn't think I would ever be that strong of a man to stand up to two
families and my wife and tell them I'm gay."
      "I think you would," Justin said with a smile.
      "I still doubt it but maybe."
      The waiter came over and placed their appetizer between them and a
small plate in front of each of them.
      "So when is the service?" Justin asked picking up on the only word
Craig seemed to be able to use when talking about Jeremy's funeral.
      "The day after tomorrow," he said placing one of the chicken skewers
on his plate.
      "Where are you having it?
      "Italy."
      "Why there?"
      "That's where my mom's buried. We thought he would like being there."
      "That sounds like a good idea."
      "Would you...want to come with us?" he asked glancing up at Justin.
HHHHoifoiwjrwoifjowifjowijfowifjowij
      "If you want me there I would."
      "I do but I don't want it to interfere with work or anything."
      "It won't," he said thinking about how the guys were going to flip
when they heard he couldn't start recording tomorrow as planned.
      "Okay. Well we leave tomorrow morning but I can try to see if Brian
can get another seat on the flight. He's a wonder with ticket ladies," he
said smiling.
      Justin smiled as well, "I'd like that."
      "You're sure you won't be missing anything important?" Craig asked
with concern in his eyes.
      Justin smiled at the man and wondered how he could have some much
compassion for other people while at the same time his own life wasn't at
its best. "I'm sure. I really want to be there for you Craig," he said
reaching across the table and holding the man's hand.
      The waiter came back with the rest of their food causing them to have
to break the small gesture that meant so much to both of them. After
telling him that there wouldn't be anything else Justin looked at Craig
over his pork fried rice and orange chicken.
      "I'm sorry," he said finally.
      "For what?" Craig asked still trying to get used to the
chopsticks. Usually after a few goes at them it all came back to him but he
was too nervous to really concentrate.
      "The whole thing when we were in Antigua. It was wrong for me to jump
to conclusions like that and then not talk to you about any of it."
      "What conclusions did you jump to?" he asked begging to lose his
appetite.
      "I saw the inscription on the back of your necklace and that mixed
with all my delusional thoughts about you avoiding me at the hospital and
being so vague about certain aspects of your life just made me, I don't
know, think the worse I guess."
      "I should be apologizing. If I hadn't been so closed up about
everything to you none of this would have happened. I just didn't think
you'd understand. The way you talk about your family, they seem so perfect
and mine's so screwed up. Honestly I didn't think you'd love me anymore,"
he said looking down at his plate.
      "That's crazy Craig. I'll always love you," he said touching the
man's hand again, "no matter what happens. I love you."
      "I love you too," he said quietly, barely able to get the words out
of his mouth. He honestly thought he would never say them to Justin again
let alone hear them from the man's lips.
      Justin smiled at him, "Tell me how I can make all this up to you."
      "There's nothing to make up Justin, just be with me forever."
      "I will," he said standing and sliding into the booth next to Craig,
"forever." He ran his hand along the man's jaw line, staring into his eyes,
and pulled his mouth closer, not caring who might be looking. "I love you,"
he said again in almost a whisper their lips so close they could both feel
the heat from the others. Justin let his lips touch the beautiful man's
that were before him before Craig could respond to his words. Their mouths
found the familiar spots and touches that they had been missing for days in
a matter of milliseconds. Justin let his tongue touch softly on Craig's as
their mouths opened themselves up to each other.
      Craig's hand moved from his lap to Justin's abs running along the
flat ripped stomach that lay beneath the thin white linen shirt as Justin's
hand ran through his hair tousling the already messy mass of dark thick
waves on his head. After a few minutes they broke the kiss with a wet
sucking noise and another peck on the lips.
      "I love you," Craig said pulling Justin closer to him by the waist
and into a hug.
      "I love you too and I promise I'll always come to you to talk things
out."
      Craig nodded into his chest taking in the familiar smell of the
mixture of his cologne and soap.
      Justin kissed his forehead, "Let's finish eating before it gets
cold."
      "Stay by me okay?" Craig asked almost begging the man with his eyes.
      "Of course," Justin said half way standing to grab his plate.
      They started eating side by side, Justin wrapping his arm around
Craig's waist and picking food off of his plate every once in a while.
      "Oh," Craig said, "you said your mom was in town?"
      "Yeah she said for a week or so. No call no letter no nothing, just
showed up this morning."
      "Is everything okay?"
      "She just had a big fight with my dad," he said feeding Craig a piece
of chicken from his chopsticks. "We talked about it over breakfast so I
think she's at least feeling better now."
      "That's good."
      There was silence for a moment while they both ate just taking in the
feeling of being so close to each other again.
      "I want you to meet her," Justin said finally. He tried to sound as
nonchalant as possible but his voice had cracked a little giving away his
anxiety about the whole situation.
      "You do?" Craig asked amazed. He was almost positive that they would
have had to sneak around for the next week while Justin's mom was in town.
      "I want her to see how great you are," he said kissing the man's
cheek and pulling him closer, if that was even possible.
      "If that's what you want I'd love to."
      "I know you didn't have to come out to your parents or anything
really but if you did how would you have gone about doing it?" he asked
looking down at his plate.
      "I'm not sure," he said thinking for a second. "I probably just would
have been as honest as possible and try to make them understand that I'm
still the same person. Are you thinking about telling your mom soon?"
      "Yeah I have been since I met you actually but I really want to let
her know. I hate having to keep this from her. But I kind of want her to
meet you first and fall in love with you like I did and then I'll tell
her."
      "I'm not that great Justin. She might not even like me as one of your
friends, let alone your boyfriend."
      "Don't say that baby," he said kissing his cheek. "I love you and she
will too."
      "You think so?"
      "Definitely, I'm just not sure how she's going to react when I tell
her what's really going on."
      "Don't you think you should tell her and your dad together?"
      "My dad isn't the most open minded person in the world if you know
what I mean. I'm already pretty sure that he'll disown me. Honestly it's
just my mom that I'm really worried about. I can't lose her."
      "You won't have to," Craig said resting his hand on the man's
thing. "It's probably going to shock her at first but she'll come around
eventually."
      "God I hope so," he said looking down again.
      Craig leaned into him a little, "Once you start talking to her it
might be easier then you think. Just make sure it's really what you want to
do."
      "It is," he said looking into Craig's eyes. "I don't want to have to
hide how I feel about you to my friends and family. I've already decided
that when we get back from Italy I'm going to tell the guys about us."
      "I just want you to be 100 percent sure Justin."
      "I am baby. You have no idea how sure I am," he said kissing the side
of his neck.
      After eating dinner and making out a little in the car Justin drove
Craig back to Jeremy's house.
      "You too look cozy," Brian said as the two lovebirds walked into the
kitchen hand in hand.
      "We are," Craig said hugging Brian from behind. "Can you do me a huge
favor gorgeous?"
      "Well when you talk to me like that how could I resist?" he said
laughing.
      "I want Justin to come with us to Italy can you find one more seat on
our flights?"
      "We got the last two on one of them, but I'll try to work my magic."
      "Thank you," Craig said releasing the man.
      "No problem," he said walking back to the den with his sandwich.
      "He'll be able to do it," Craig said putting his arms around Justin's
waist.
      "If not I'll take the next one out. I don't want you to have to go
through all this alone. It was bad enough I wasn't there when it happened,"
he said holding the man close to him.
      "Let's not talk about that now," he said placing his lips over
Justin's. They let their tongues feel the warmth of the others mouth again,
Justin sliding his hands up and down Craig's firm muscular back over the
sweater.
      "I love you," Justin said pecking his lips again.
      "I love you too."
      They stood in the middle of the kitchen kissing for the longest time
until Brian walked back in clearing his throat.
      "Sorry," Craig said smiling but still holding onto Justin around his
waist.
      "Well you can praise me now I got an extra ticket."
      "Thank you so much," Justin said to him kissing Craig's forehead.
      "No problem. Just remember I like diamonds," he said leaving the
room.
      "Maybe we should get him something," Justin said.
      Craig laughed, "No way, he was just kidding."
      "But he's done a lot for you, stuff I should have done."
      "Baby, it's okay. Brian knows he's appreciated I show him all the
time."
      "And how do you do that?" Justin asked leaning back a little to get a
full view of the man he was holding.
      "Not like that silly. He just knows, don't buy him anything," Craig
said laughing.
      "What's so funny?"
      "You," he said kissing him again.
      "I think I'll start telling more jokes if that's my reward," he said
smiling at the man.
      "You know if we're going to make that flight in the morning we should
get some sleep."
      "I'm sorry I have to go home. I wish I could stay with you though."
      "It's okay. I'll see you bright and early in the morning," he said
walking with the man to the front door. "Do you want us to stop by and pick
you up?"
      "Yeah that'd be cool."
      "Like 5:30 okay?"
      Justin nodded leaning in and kissing Craig's lips again, "I love
you."
      "I love you too. Drive careful," he said holding onto his hand.
      "I will," he said pecking his lips again and then walking towards his
Mercedes.
      They held hands until the last second as he walked down the
driveway. Craig smiled at him as he drove away crossing his arms over his
chest against the cold breeze that swept through the front yard.

***

      JC had decided to go over to Lance's house to check up on him about
three hours ago but was just getting out of the house after finally being
able to persuade Wade to leave with him. After all the man had a lot of
work to do on the dances for the new album and JC figured them fucking
constantly for the last few days wasn't helping his creativity any, unless
the group was going to take a totally different turn in their dance styles.
      He sighed as he stopped at a red light and thought of how Lance had
sounded on the phone with him before he left. Of course the fact that
Wade's mouth was attached to his collar bone and his hands were down his
pants probably didn't really help the conversation along any. But either
way Lance hadn't sounded all too happy when learning of JC's plans to stop
by. He didn't seem busy at all but nevertheless sounded quite
inconvenienced by the thought of the impromptu visit. JC still hadn't
gotten a straight answer out of him about the events of the night before
last but he planned to today even if he had to wrestle them out of the
man. Everyone just seemed to be keeping so many damn secrets lately and
that totally wasn't like them at all. The guys had always been open with
their thoughts and feelings and especially the things that went down in
their lives, personal or not. JC wondered why this situation was any
different as he picked up his ringing cell phone.
      "Hello?" he said into the small titanium phone.
      "Yo Jayce," Justin said brightly.
      "What's up Jay?"
      "I have a huge favor to ask you. But it's kind of a long story."
      "Shoot."
      "Okay well you know how Craig and I were all on the outs and stuff
right?"
      "How could I forget? I haven't been able to sleep all night because I
was worrying so much."
      "Yeah, yeah you're fucking hilarious. Anyway I found out that he
wasn't cheating on me. That Jeremy guy was his dad," he said quickly.
      "What Jeremy guy?"
      "The inscription."
      "You've lost me," he said shrugging.
      "I'll tell you about all that later. I need a few days off though."
      "What?" he asked loudly. "After all this shit we're finally starting
to record again tomorrow and you want a few more days off? You're crazy."
      "I have to go to a funeral," he said simply.
      "What, Craig's dad die or something?" he asked laughing.
      "Yeah he did actually."
      "You're joking," he said still laughing.
      "No I'm not. It's not funny."
      "You're serious? He really died?" JC asked straight faced all of a
sudden.
      "Yeah and I have to go to the funeral in Italy, we're leaving
tomorrow."
      "Seriously?" he asked again still waiting for the punch line but not
seeing where one could really fit in.
      "Yes seriously. So tell the guys okay...well that I have to go out of
town at least."
      "That's all you want me to tell them?"
      "Make something up, I don't know. I'll tell everyone about me and
Craig when we get back alright? Just stall them for now."
      "And why do I get the privilege of spreading this news?"
      "Because I love you and I know you'll do it."
      "Yeah okay, you owe me huge when you get back."
      "You got it."
      "Alright later."
      "Wait, there's something else," he said quickly.
      "Oh come on Jay do you want my right lung too?"
      "Not really but my mom's in town can you just keep an eye on her?"
      "You want me to baby-sit Lynn?"
      "No just check in every once in a while. Make sure she's cool."
      "Alright...anything else?"
      "No that's it. Thanks Jayce."
      "No problem. Have, well don't have fun, just be careful I guess."
      "I will. Later."
      They hung up just as JC was pulling up to Lance's house. When it
rains it pours he thought as he got out of the car. The guys were not going
to be very happy about this turn of events; actually they were going to be
down right pissed especially since JC couldn't think of a good excuse for
Justin to go out of town without adding Craig to the equation.
      "Hey," JC said when Lance opened the door.
      Lance had decided last night sometime that he wasn't going to love JC
anymore. That every time he saw the man he would think of that night he
walked in on him and Wade, in the bathroom of all places. He would just
continue to focus on the man's bad points until he fell out of love with
him. That was the main reason he had finally agreed to let him come over,
he just wanted more fuel for his new plan. He wasn't sure how long it would
take but he would try his hardest. But the look of JC standing on his
doorstep, the dark sky and twinkling stars making the perfect back drop for
his brown hair, tanned skin, twinkling greenish blue eyes, and gorgeous
smile almost made him forget all about the plan. His heart melted for the
man that stood in front of him, that tight t-shirt pulling against his
taught muscles and those loose jeans hanging on his waist just low enough
to show a flash of tanned rock hard stomach and hair peaking out of the
waistband of his black boxer briefs. He couldn't help but smile.
      "Feeling better?" JC asked stepping by the man and matching his
smile.
      "Yeah kind of," he said walking behind the man to watch the slow sway
of his hips.
      "What have you been up to?" JC asked lying down on the couch one foot
on the floor and one tucked under him.
      "Nothing really just hanging out here," Lance said sitting down by
his legs. "What about you?" He would have kicked himself in the head if he
could have. He was sitting there, so close to the man that was obviously
concerned about him thus had some positive feelings about him and he
practically gives him the go ahead to talk about Wade. How stupid could he
be?
      "Nothing," he said yawning. "I did get a call from Jay though."
      "What did he say?" Lance asked grateful for the change of subject.
      "He's going out of town for a few days so he can't make our recording
session tomorrow," he said closing his eyes.
      "What's so important?"
      "Something with Craig he'll explain everything when he gets back."
      "He's ditching us to go out of town with his boyfriend."
      "It's not like that Lance," he said placing his hands behind his
head.
      Lance watched as the red shirt drifted farther up the man's stomach
showing a thick line of abs and his cute little navel that he longed to dip
his tongue into on the long slow journey of worshiping JC's body. He could
feel his cock stiffening in his pants while glancing down at the bulge in
JC's jeans.
      "He has a really good reason believe me," JC said finally opening his
eyes. He could sense Lance staring intently at him but caught nothing when
his lids opened.
      "That's fine we can just start next week or something," he said
staring straight ahead now, trying to think of anything but JC's tight firm
body lying next to him, ready and waiting for him to pounce.
      "Glad you're so understanding but I don't think Chris and Joe will
be."
      "It's possible," he said glancing at the man again.
      JC frowned at him, "What's wrong?"
      "Nothing," Lance said a little too quickly.
      "Why won't you talk to me?" JC asked sitting up straight. "I didn't
think we had any secrets Lance."
      "We don't," he lied. He didn't feel that bad for doing so though
because, even though it would have killed him inside and maybe even
physically, technically JC had never told him about Wade.
      "Fine, I'm going to get a drink," he said stepping by the man and
walking towards the kitchen. "Do you want anything?" he asked glancing over
his shoulder.
      Lance's eyes immediately feel to the coffee table in front of him.
      "Uh, no I'm good," he said.
      JC grabbed a bottle of beer from the refrigerator wondering if he had
really seeing what he thought he just saw. Was Lance checking out his ass?
Even though JC knew Lance's sexual preference he had never felt
uncomfortable around the man even when they were changing clothes in tight
quarters while on tour. Lance had never looked at him that way. There had
been a mix of lust and yearning that he had never seen before in the man's
clear hazel eyes. It was different, it was strange, it was a little erotic.

To be continued...

**Hey everyone, hope you liked the new chapter, email me at
Swimfan_777@yahoo.com with any comments and/or criticisms, all are
appreciated.**