Date: Sat, 17 Jun 2000 10:39:20 EDT
From: Zack Peterman <zack02cool@hotmail.com>
Subject: Model Romance, Part Five
Well kids I think I'll start with a few apologies. First, I'm
sorry that the text in the last part was a little screwed up. This whole
HTML thing is still beyond me. Second, I'm really sorry that it's been so
long since I posted anything. I never intended to leave such a large gap
in between chapters. But I do have a go excuse! See, a few weeks ago I
was right in the middle of final exams and going through hell as usual.
But someone decided that my life didn't suck enough so they decided to
steal my laptop and my wallet. Long story short I lost all of my files
including the novel I've been working on and this story. I figured that
when I got home everything would be ok though, and that I would make do
with my parent's computer. Unfortunately it died promptly upon my return.
We finally got a new computer, but now I'm having technical difficulties.
That leads me to my final apology: the format of this chapter: I know plain
text sucks, but this is the only way I could get this out to you. I
promise the next one wont take so long.
Disclaimer
Did I say without further ado? What I meant was without very
much ado. Anyway, if you shouldn't read this story then don't. I have no
knowledge of the private lives of any of the celebrities mentioned in this
story. It is a work of fiction (unfortunately).
It occurred to me that since it has been so long I should throw
in a little recap. If you can't remember all the details I suggest you
re-read the story (I had to). But essentially it boils down to Justin
falls in love with Zack, who gets piss-ass drunk and makes a fool out of
himself. Nick Carter also is attracted to Zack and in an interesting twist
he kisses Zack. Justin and Nick get in a big fight and Nick storms off.
Zack, who has convinced himself he is straight, is either ignoring Justin's
feelings or just doesn't recognize them. So anyway he passes out and
Justin takes him upstairs and puts him to bed. Then Justin decides to give
into his desires just a little bit, even if Zack isn't gay, and falls
asleep next to him. Which brings us to Chapter Five, without any more ado
of any kind whatsoever!
A Model Romance: Chapter Five
The light streaming in from the second story windows was nearly
blinding. As if to make up for the past couple of rainy days the legendary
Florida sunshine was back with a vengeance. I had a four-alarm hangover
and the light was just making things worse. I grabbed an extra pillow and
threw it over my head. It was promptly removed.
"Oh no you don't! You've already slept half the day away."
Britney was looking way too cheerful and well rested. "If you don't get up
now you're going to miss breakfast. If you can still call it breakfast at
noon."
"Ok, I'm getting up," I mumbled.
My stomach was feeling decidedly odd, but I knew from experience
that if I didn't eat something I would puke. (At least I learned something
in a year of college.) But a few more minutes of sleep wouldn't hurt. I
grabbed the covers and pulled them up over my head. For about five seconds
I thought Britney was going to let me be, but then blankets were whisked
off the bed all together. I was left lying in my boxers and no options
left but to get up.
"Rise and shine sunshine! How are you feeling this morning?"
"Bitch," I mumbled again as I rolled out of bed.
"Hey not my fault you decided to go and get ripped last night."
She looked at me carefully and asked in a more serious voice "how much do
you remember?"
"Well, I seem to remember having a couple of drinks at the party
and then heading back to Justin's house. The rest is sort of a blur."
"What about the karaoke?"
"Oh god, did I try to sing? I think I'll go curl up and die now."
"Actually I think everybody enjoyed it thoroughly. I wouldn't
worry about it. You weren't the only one who made an ass out of yourself
last night. Now come downstairs and get something to eat."
"Downstairs? That reminds me, where am I and how did I get here?"
"You're in Justin's room. He carried you up here last night after
you passed out. Then he," she stopped abruptly and shook her head. "Never
mind, let's go eat."
"Uh Brit? I seem to have misplaced my pants."
She broke out laughing at that. I guess I did look pretty funny
standing there in my boxers looking around forlornly for my clothes.
"Here, I'll find you some of Justin's clothes to wear. I'm sure he
wont mind."
She began rummaging through Justin's draws and pulled out a pair of
mesh UNC shorts and a white tee shirt. I dressed quickly and followed her
downstairs and into the kitchen. I was greeted by the site of JC, Lance
and a woman who had to be Justin's mother. JC was the first to notice me.
"Good morning sleeping beauty. Lucky you got up when you did or
you would have missed breakfast completely."
"Don't be ridiculous JC. You know I'm always happy to feed
Justin's friends. Even you." The woman smiled brightly at me. I could
see where Justin got his good looks. "I'm Lynn, Justin's mom. You must be
Zack."
"Yes m'am that's me."
"Oh you're so polite. See that boys, you should be taking notes."
Lance and JC rolled their eyes but she took no notice. "Well I'm sure all
that sleep has given you an appetite. What would you like to eat?"
"Just some cereal will be fine m'am."
"Now I know you're Justin's friend. You've come to the right house
for cereal.
Just go on into the pantry and help yourself. I'll get you a bowl
and some milk. And please call me Lynn, or mom. Everyone else does."
"Thank you very much...Lynn." I decided I wasn't quite ready to
refer to her as "mom."
I pulled out a box of Cocoa Pebbles, poured myself a bowl and sat
down at the table. Britney, JC, and Lance all ate silently, as if deep in
thought. Lynn disappeared after making sure we had everything we needed.
After a few minutes of silence I couldn't stand it any more.
"Ok guys what's up? Did I really screw up that badly last night?
Britney says I was singing and that's never a good sign. I guess I made a
pretty rotten impression huh?"
"Oh, I'd say you made quite an impression on everybody. Some more
that others," JC added with a grin.
"So you don't remember anything?" Lance asked disbelievingly.
"Well I wouldn't say that. It's just most everything is a blur. I
have a vague memory of the night, but it's all jumbled together. And I
think some of it got mixed up with my dreams. I must have had some really
bizarre dreams last night."
"Those wouldn't include making out with Nick Carter would they?"
Lance was definitely pissed at me. JC and Britney froze in shock. Britney
opened her mouth and then closed it.
"I...thought that was a dream. But if...I never meant to, I mean
I'm not really sure how it happened. And I didn't want to, it just..."
"It's fine Zack," Britney said reassuringly. Everyone knows what
happened last night was Nick's fault. Everyone," she repeated more
forcefully and turned to give Lance an icy look.
"And besides," JC added cheerfully, "everything worked out in the
end."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I mean you and Jus..."
"JC," Britney interrupted quickly, "would you see if there's
anymore juice please. Now."
"Why can't you...oh." He got up and quickly stuck his head in the
fridge trying to hide his blushing.
Hangover or no, I knew something weird was going on, but I was not
in the mood to really care. It was probably none of my business anyway.
Then it occurred to me that I hadn't see Justin all morning.
"By the way, where's Justin?"
"You should know," Lance mumbled under his breath.
"I'm not sure," Britney said, trying to hide her worry. "He left
early this morning and said he had to run a few errands. I'm sure he'll be
back any time."
"Oh. Well I hope I get to see him before I leave. I want to thank
him for being such a good host. That reminds me, I better call the hotel
and find out where David put my clothes."
"Actually I know where you're clothes are," JC said. "They're in
the trunk of your car."
"Car? My car is in New York."
"Really? Well somebody came by earlier and said that David had
sent Mr. Peterman's car over with his clothes in the trunk."
"Oh, that's right. David said he would get me a car for the day.
What I guy."
"You don't know the half of it. David sure does take care of his
own. Check it out."
I looked out in the driveway and saw a shiny red Mercedes CLK 430
convertible sitting there in all its glory. I smiled and made a mental
note to thank David.
"He understands my preferences," I said with a shrug.
After breakfast I went out to the car and found my clothes. Then I
went upstairs to grab a quick shower. As soon as I was gone Britney
rounded on the two older guys.
"What the hell is wrong with you two? JC did it ever occur to you
why Justin got up so early and left? Zack has no clue that he shared a bed
with Justin last night. He didn't even know where he was until I told
him."
JC looked confused. "But I thought things were going well. I mean
if they slept in the same bed."
"You really don't get it do you. Zack has no idea how Justin feels
about him. That's why Justin's gone. He's miserable. I tried to stop him
or at least go with him but he said he needed to be alone. He wanted some
time to think. So do us all a favor and don't say anything else to Zack!
And you Lance! I don't even know where to start with you! Could you be
any ruder? What right do you have to treat him like that? He hasn't shit
to you! I know you're mad about what happened with Nick but that is not
Zack's fault. By the way, how is Nick?"
"He was in pretty bad shape when I found him last night, but we
talked for a little while and then Brian took him home. I think he'll be
ok, but I still think"
"No don't think. Just leave it right there. Nick will be fine.
I've seen him get over worse. Why are you acting like this anyway? It's
so unlike you."
"I don't know. I just am. So anyway, what are we supposed to do
about Justin?"
* * * * *
Justin had been driving aimlessly for hours. Sleeping next to Zack
last night had made him feel good. Too good in fact, because when he woke
up then next morning he realized that he would probably never be able to
feel that again. Not with Zack. So he got up and left, narrowly avoiding
his mother and brushing Britney off. He had tried to come to terms with
the fact that his feelings for Zack were one-way. He had tried to forget
about him. He had tried to think of Zack as just a friend. It didn't
work. He needed Zack and it was driving him nuts. In fact it reminded him
of a song, the song that made him famous. He was sure that things couldn't
get any more ironic until it came on the radio.
It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you
But when we are apart, I feel it too
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
with or without you
Baby I don't understand
Just why we can't be lovers
Things are getting out of hand
Trying too much, but baby we can't win
Justin angrily reached over and jabbed the power button. His own voice
faded from the speakers but not from inside his head. He tried to block it
out, but fragments of the song kept popping up.
I am down, on my knees
I can't take it anymore
He tried to make it stop but he couldn't.
Baby don't misunderstand
What I'm trying to tell ya
In the corner of my mind
Baby, it feels like we are running out of time
He could feel the tears building up in his eyes and he pulled over to the
side of the rode.
Tearin' up my heart and soul
We're apart I feel it too
and no matter what I do, I feel the pain
With or without you
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
With or without you
-From Tearin Up My Heart by NSYNC
He laid his head down on the steering wheel and cried.
* * * * *
"So please can we all just be nice to Zack and forget about last
night?"
"Yeah Brit, I'm sorry for acting like a jerk."
"I know Lance, but maybe you should tell Zack that."
"Guys I don't think Zack is who we need to worry about right now.
Britney, where is Justin? He's been gone way too long."
"JC, I already told you I didn't know. I tried his cell phone but
he's not answering it. He'll be back, and when he does we'll all just be
very careful not to upset him. That and be our usual loving selves."
"You guys? Loving? That's a laugh." Justin's voice came form the
doorway, making them all jump. They turned to look at him, uncertain of
how much he had heard.
"Why are you all looking at me like that? Were you talking about
me?"
"No, of course not, Curly." JC smiled to try and cover up his
relief.
"Well then quit staring at me. And before you even ask I'm fine.
Nothing is wrong so just leave me alone."
"Ouch, Justin. No need to get all bitchy."
"Sorry. It's been a rough morning."
Just then Zack came back down the stairs. His hair was still damp
from the shower and was now perfectly styled. He was wearing a tight light
blue shirt and a pair of cargo shorts. Justin was suddenly aware that he
had not showered or combed his hair yet.
"Ah, I feel so much better. Oh morning Justin. Finished all your
errands?"
"Um, yeah. I think I got what I needed."
"Cool, well listen, I think I should get going. I'm going to visit
my grandma today and I want to get there in time to hit the beach. What
are you guys up to today?"
"Well I can't speak for anyone else," JC yawned, "but I am going to
sleep."
"You speak for me at least," Lance said.
"God, all you guys ever do is sleep," Justin complained.
"Well what are you going to do then Curly? Go shopping. Maybe you
can squeeze a few more pairs of sneakers into your closet."
"Oh shut up. My shoes are my own business, and if I want to go to
the mall then I will. What are you doing Britney?"
"I have absolutely no clue. Maybe I'll go to the pool."
That gave me an idea. "Hey I just had a thought. Why don't you
guys come with me to visit my grandma? She loves to meet my friends. And
she lives at the beach. That's a lot better than a pool Britney."
JC laughed. "Well as tempting as the beach sounds I think I'll
have to pass. It's not very often I can afford to sleep a whole day."
"Yeah, and I have some work to do too," Lance put in.
"Well I think it sounds like a great idea. I would love to go if
you'll have me," Britney said sweetly.
"You are just too cute," I laughed. "What about you Justin?"
"Oh, I don't know. I think maybe I'll stay here."
"Come on! My grandma will love you! What else are you gonna do?
Sleep? Buy more shoes? Listen I saw your closet buddy, you don't need any
more shoes."
"Yeah Justin," Britney chimed in, "come with us."
"Nah, that's ok. You two go and have fun."
"Oh that settles it," I exclaimed. "Now I'm going to feel guilty
if you don't go. So you better get ready or I'm going to tie you up and
throw you in the trunk."
Lance whispered something to JC and they both started cracking up
until Britney glared at them.
"Well, I guess I don't have any choice then. Just let me take a
shower. I'll be ready in a few minutes." In less time then I would have
thought possible Justin was back downstairs wearing a black tee shirt and a
pair of khakis. We hopped into the convertible, and were off. I was
driving of course and Britney rode shotgun. She insisted riding in the
back would mess up her hair too much. Which left Justin getting
wind-blasted as we raced down the highway toward the coast.
* * * * *
My grandmother's condo was about an hour from Orlando. She moved
down there years ago, after my grandfather died, and eventually she
remarried. My new step-grandfather was a great guy and he made my grandma
really happy, but he and I were not really that close. As fate would have
it had was out of town anyway and I was looking forward to spending some
time with just grandma. Of course, she didn't know I was coming; I always
liked to surprise her. Justin, Britney, and I rang the doorbell of her
fifth floor condo and after a moment she opened the door. The look of
surprise and delight on her face alone made the whole trip worthwhile.
"Well what a wonderful surprise! How are you my dear?"
"Good grandma. How are you?"
"Oh just fine. Been keeping busy. I just got back from the
market and this afternoon I was going to the cleaners and a few other
places."
She would have gone on forever just telling me her plans for
the rest of the day and probably for the whole week. My grandma is the
kind of person who plans everything out way in advance. She sets the table
for Thanksgiving two days before the actual dinner. I figured I should
stop her or we'd be standing outside for an hour.
"Grandma these are my friends Justin and Britney."
"Oh hello. It's nice to meet you both. All of Zack's friends
just call me grandma. I hope you will to."
"Hi grandma," Britney said with a smile.
"Hi," Justin said a little more shyly.
"Well why don't you all come inside. Help yourself to anything
in the kitchen."
We went in and wound up in the living room. I sat on the couch
and Justin sat down next to me. Britney sat on the other side while my
grandmother sat in her armchair. Her condo was not very big, two bedrooms,
two bathrooms and a living room, dinning room and kitchen. My favorite
thing was the back porch though. It was screened in and carpeted, and at
five floors up it had a great view of the ocean about two blocks away. The
whole condo was decorated in pastels, very tastefully I might add. My
grandma always did have good taste.
"So now Justin and Britney are you two models also?"
I smiled and tried not to laugh at the looks on their faces.
Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears sitting in her living room and grandma
had no clue who they were.
"No grandma, they're, um, musicians. Listen I think we're
going to go to the beach, but I though later we'd all go out to dinner."
"Oh that's just fine dear. I have my errands to run anyway.
How long will you be staying?"
"Actually I have to go back to Orlando tonight. I have an
early flight to catch tomorrow."
"That's a shame. I just don't get to see enough of you kids
anymore. And with you in New York now, I'll see even less of you."
"I know. I wish I could stay, but things are pretty busy right
now."
We talked for a few more minutes and then changed into our
bathing suits and headed for the beach. The nice thing about where my
grandma lives is that there aren't many people on the beach. Even on a
Saturday afternoon it wasn't very crowded. I guess we lucked out since we
probably would have been mobbed at a crowded beach where people would
recognize us. We all talked and joked around on the sand for a while
before we got in the water. Justin finally started to open up and have
fun. He had seemed so distant all morning, but now I could see he
definitely had a playful side too. I should have known I was going to be
in trouble when I let them bury me in the sand.
"There," Justin said with satisfaction as he put the last layer
of wet sand on me. I must have been under fifty pounds of wet, goopy,
sand. I really wasn't sure if I was going to be able to get out of it, but
I couldn't let them know that.
"This is nothing Justin. I could get out of this any time I
want. You sure you don't want to do a few more layers," I added
sarcastically.
"He's really asking for it Justin. Should I go get some more
sand?" Britney was already walking down the tide line to get some more of
the nasty wet crap.
"No, I think he's all talk. He can't get out of there."
"OK fine. You think I'm all talk then I guess I'll just have
to prove you wrong."
They had really buried me well I thought as I began struggling
for freedom. The fact that I was beginning to cook in the early afternoon
sun aside, I'm not a big fan of being covered with sand. I started flexing
muscles and wiggling my feet. I could feel the sand starting to loosen
around me.
"Well come on dude, I thought you said you were gonna bust out
of there."
"I'm working on it. As there see? I've got my feel loose."
I had indeed freed my feet and I was working on my arms when I
suddenly felt the added weight of Justin sitting on my chest.
"Ha. Let's see you get out now."
"No fair cheater. When I do get out I'm gonna kick your ass."
"I'd like to see you try it. Everybody knows that models are
wussies."
"OK that's it. Insulting my profession is going too far!"
I began to struggle again in earnest. Soon I felt the sand
around my arms giving way. I started flailing my arms and legs in an
attempt to free my body. All the movement was causing the sand on my chest
to slide away. Soon I was just lying in the sand with Justin on my chest.
"There. I'm free. Not get off me fatass, you're heavy."
"Oh I don't think so. You have to be able to get up."
I was already tired out from getting out of the sand, and I
really didn't have the energy to move Justin.
"Britney! A little assistance please?"
"Sorry Hun, I'm not taking sides."
"Thanks, you're a big help."
I grabbed Justin around the waist and tried to pull him off
me.
He resisted and we wound up rolling around in the sand wrestling.
Finally I got away from him and stood up.
"There. Now that that's settled let's go swimming. I need to
wash sand out of some very uncomfortable places."
I ran in to the ocean. The water was still warm from the
summer currents and the waves were small. The ocean has always been very
special to me. Ever since I was a little kid I have played in it. I've
spent so much time in it and around it that I sort of think of it as an old
friend. In my younger days on family vacations I would play with the ocean
if there were no other kids around. I never got tired of the ocean. And
now I just laid back and floated, enjoying the slight breeze and gentle
rocking of the sea. Justin and Britney were quick to join me. Eventually
I decided it was time to pay Justin back.
I looked over and saw that he had his eyes closed. I swam up beneath
him, grabbed him, and pulled him under water. He let out a very satisfying
yelp before he went under, and came up spluttering.
"That was so uncalled for."
"What are you talking about? That was payback for the sand."
"Well then this is payback for the payback," he said with a
devilish grin.
He jumped at me, trying to get me in a headlock. Unfortunately
for him, I spent most of my childhood in the water and I can move through
it very quickly. I twisted away and dunked him as he came by. When I let
him back up he grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him. I of course
grabbed his free arm so he couldn't push me under and soon we were standing
toe to toe holding each other by the wrists. I was so close to him, our
chests were almost touching. I looked at him and caught his eye. We both
stopped struggling and looked at each other for a minute, perhaps
unconsciously evaluating the implications of that moment. Then I
remembered a martial arts trick I knew to get out of the situation. I
freed my wrist and twisted Justin's arm around behind him. He slipped away
deceptively, but then came right back and grabbed me. Being a model I of
course lifted weights, but only for toning, not to bulk up. Justin wasn't
really much stronger than me, but he did have the upper hand and I went
under.
Our horseplay went on for nearly half an hour until we were
both worn out and gave up. Britney joined in a little bit, but for the
most part seemed content to watch. She actually seemed very pleased by our
behavior rather than feeling excluded. When we'd had enough of the beach
we grabbed our stuff and headed back to the condo. My grandma had made us
dinner reservations and we had to be ready to go in twenty minutes. We all
took lightning quick showers and made it the restaurant on time. Dinner
was great and as I predicted my grandmother loved Justin and Britney.
* * * * *
After dinner we came back to the condo and grandma made coffee.
As usual she had an assortment of sweets in the house so we all enjoyed
desert on the porch. I looked at my watch and saw it was nearly 8:00. I
knew I'd have to leave soon, but I couldn't go without walking on the beach
at night. There is nothing like the beach on a moonlit night. The sound
of the waves crashing against the shore; the way the stars are reflected in
the water. I think it's as close to heaven as we can get on earth.
"Thanks for desert grandma. I'm really glad I got to come
down, but I think we need to head back soon. Before I go though, I just
want to take a quick walk down to the beach. I need to say goodbye to an
old friend," I added with a smile.
"Of course dear. I'll just clean up while you're gone."
"Why don't you let me help you grandma," Britney offered.
"Why thank you Britney. That's very nice of you."
"Do you mind if I come with you Zack," Justin asked almost
shyly.
"Sure I wouldn't mind some company."
We walked for a few minutes in silence. I was lost in thoughts
of my childhood. Remembering my grandfather and all the good times I'd had
with him and my grandma.
"Justin, do you ever wish you could go back to your childhood?"
"Sometimes. I think everybody does. Why?"
"I don't know. I was just thinking about my life. I've made a
lot of mistakes and I have a lot of regrets. I guess I just wish I could
have it to do over again."
There was a pause as we reached the beach. The scene was as
perfect as always. I took of my shoes, walked down to the water and let
the waves run over my feet. I stared out into the darkness thinking about
my life. Suddenly Justin spoke again.
"Do you believe in fate?"
I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts it took a minute for the
question to register.
"Yeah, I guess I do. Why do you ask?"
"Well I was thinking. Who's to say your life would be any
better if you had it to do over again. If you went back and made a whole
different set of choices you might still end up in the same place and just
have a different set of regrets. Maybe we are where we are because that's
where we should be." He turned and looked at me. Truthfully I felt like
he was looking into me. Like he could see past the exterior that I
presented to the world to who I really was. "Maybe this is where you're
supposed to be," he said quietly.
As I looked back at him I had a strange feeling of déjà
vu. As if I had seen this all before. Like in a dream. When I looked
into Justin's eyes I saw something I hadn't seen before. There was still
that sense of loneliness and longing but now there was something else.
Love. And I realized that something inside me wanted to return that love.
Suddenly I had the desire to go to him, to wrap my arms around him and
chase away all his fears. A voice in my head whispered.
And I will take you in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Every word I say is true
This I promise you
-From This I Promise You by NSYNC
He moved closer to me and deep inside me something tried to get
out. I wanted to let it out and be with him. I wanted to put my lips to
his and feel his warm embrace. And then I could let go of all the pain,
all the hurt, all the fear. But I couldn't do it. I wanted to so badly,
but I couldn't do it. I pushed those feelinga away. I wasn't gay and I
wasn't in love with Justin. I was a rich, successful teen idol who could
have his pick of gorgeous women.
"I...we better head back Justin. It's getting late."
He dropped his eyes trying to hide the hurt he felt.
"Yeah, I guess so."
We didn't say a word to each other on the way back. I said
goodbye to my grandma and walked slowly to the car. I yawned.
"Man I'm tired. I can't wait to get some sleep."
"Well why don't you let me drive then," Britney suggested
hopefully.
"Yeah, sure what the hell. Matter of fact I think I'll ride in
the back and lie down too."
Even with the wind rushing over me on the highway and the
tightness of the back seats, I was asleep ten minutes into the trip.
* * * * *
"So what the hell happened when you two went on that walk,"
Britney whispered after she saw Zack was asleep. "You looked so happy when
you left and then you hardly said a word when you got back!"
"Nothing happened."
"Did you have a fight?"
"No."
"Well then what."
"Don't you listen? I said nothing happened."
Justin turned away from her and stared out the window. Nothing
had happened, but something almost did. What had that been? Zack had been
so different when they were talking. He was so much quieter and more
thoughtful. And he had seemed so sad. Why would he be sad? And then
there was something else. He looked into Zack's eyes and he knew that he
felt something. For a minute he thought everything was finally going to
work out and then the next thing he knew they were walking back in silence.
It wasn't fair! All he knew was that Zack was leaving early tomorrow
morning and that was it. He had missed his chance. And now it was too
late he thought miserably.
When they got home everyone went straight to bed. Zack had
only half woken up, and only did that much so he could get out of the car
and down to the guest room. Britney didn't say much except to mumble
something about knowing this had been a bad idea. Justin went to his room
but couldn't sleep.
* * * * *
I got up early the next morning and packed my stuff. Lynn and
JC were in the kitchen and I had breakfast with them. Lance had gone home
the day before but had left a note for me. In it he apologized for being
rude and said he hoped we could hang out when NSYNC came up to New York in
two weeks. Britney got up just as I was leaving. I thanked Lynn for her
hospitality and said goodbye to JC and Britney. I decided not to wake
Justin, and told JC to tell him goodbye for me. As I pulled out of the
driveway a strange sense of disquiet fell over me. A shadow fell over my
fairytale life. It had always been there, but now I just couldn't ignore
it. I was restless the whole way home. The feeling of satisfaction that I
usually felt when I came home to my prefect apartment was gone. The pride
and joy that had formerly welled up when I looked at the framed copy of GQ
with my picture on the cover was absent. Something was missing from my
life and I knew I wouldn't be happy until I found it.
* * * * *
I know, kind of a depressing ending, but I haven't been in a
very good mood lately. Fear not though! The next installment will not
take nearly so long and I promise it will be much happier. As always
thanks for all the e-mail and concern over my well-being. I love to get
e-mail so please drop me a line at zack02cool@hotmail.com if you've got any
questions, suggestions, whatever. Also, keep an eye out because I'm toying
around with a few ideas for new stories. I'm not nearly done with this one
but I wouldn't mind having more than one story to write. Until next time I
wish you all Peace and Love.