Date: Sat, 15 Mar 2003 17:00:57 -0800 (PST)
From: slpwriter <slpwriter@yahoo.com>
Subject: Nick Lachey: My Everything-48

Hey all, I'm back and ready to write again. It's been
such a long time, I've had to re-read the story to try
to remember what my next plot was going to be.

 Now on with the story.


First of all, let me just say that this is my first
time writing any kind of fiction like this.

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of total fiction and is not
meant to imply anything about the sexualities of Nick
and Drew Lachey or anyone else mentioned in this
story.

If you are too young to read this, or if Homosexuality
offends you, then please don't continue any further
and leave.

Other 98 Degrees stories I'd like to recommend are.

"Give Me Just One Night" by Unanoche.
"69 with Jeff Timmons" by Zachary Scott Pritt
"Nick Lachey" by Ken.
"98 Degrees Is Hot" by Gay Night
"The Reunion" by RinSong.
"Loving Nick Lachey" by Jordan

and finally:
"This Gift" by Sprout



Now, I"ll let you get on with the story.

Enjoy.


Previously on "My Everything".....


I cleared my throat and began to sing:

"Lost and all alone."
"I always thought that I could make it on my own."
"But since you left, I hardly make it through the
day."
"My tears get in the way."
"And I need you back to stay."

"I wander through the night."
"And Search the world to find the words to make it
right."

"All I want is just the way it used to be."
"With you here close to me."
"And I've got to make you see."

"That I'm lost without your love."
"Life without you isn't worth the trouble."
"I'm as helpless as a ship without a wheel."
"Touch without feel."
"I can't believe it's real."

"So someday soon, I'll wait."
"And find my heart won't have....to break."

"That I'm lost without your love."
"Life without you isn't worth the trouble."
"I'm as helpless as a ship without a wheel."
"Touch without feel."
"I can't believe it's real."

"So someday soon I'll wait."
"And find my heart won't have....to break."

Once again, I received applause, but this time it
seemed a bit more intense. It was almost like they all
could feel the lonliness within me."

"Thank you, everyone." I said, as I handed back the
mic to the DJ. He then told me he loved my song. I
thanked him then asked him if they had a private room
or something backstage that I could have some privacy
for a few minutes.

The DJ, whose name was Kelly said that there was a
dressing room backstage and he said that I could take
all the time that I needed.

I thanked him before walking backstage and entering
the dressing room. I sat down on the couch and sighed
heavily. I felt good. It felt wonderful to get all of
that off of my chest. All the lonliness and sadness
that I was feeling. And what better way then by
singing.

I stood up and walked over to the dresser and bent
over it, closing my eyes for a second. I was so
engrossed in my thoughts, that I didn't hear anyone
come into the room from behind me.

"You were incredible." I heard a familiar voice say.

"Startled, I whipped around to see who it was and
froze. I found myself staring back into his beautiful
blue eyes.


"Hello, Sean." Nick said.


**********
CHAPTER 48
**********

All I could do was stand there and stare at Nick. Part
of me was glad to see him again, yet another part of
me was guarded around him.

"Hello, Nicholas." I said. "This is a surprise to see
you here."

Nick shrugged.

"I could say the same thing." He replied. "I never
thought I'd see you again. Much less run into you
here."

I nodded. I wasn't sure if Nick's answer meant that he
was glad to see me or if he was sorry he ran into me.

We were both silent for a few moments, just looking at
each other. This was a very awkward moment for us
since we hadn't seen each other for 2 years. Neither
of us really knew what to say to each other.

"You're looking sexier than ever, Nick." I told him.
"I like the new hairstyle you're doing now alot too."

This time I got a smile out of him, as well as a soft
laugh.

"Thank you." Nick said. "You're looking even better
yourself.

Nick took another look at me.

"I really like your new look with your longer hair."
He told me. "Turn around and let me see how long it
is."

I slowly spun around and let him see just how long my
hair was.

"Wow." Nick said. "It's all the way to the middle of
your back."

"Yeah." I said, smiling a little. "I thought it was
time for a change."

Nick nodded. Then the look he gave me was really
strange.

"What is it, Nick?" I asked him. "Why are you looking
at me like that?"

Nick looked like he had something on his mind that he
needed to tell me.

"I was just wondering what you're doing here in
Orlando, Florida." Nick said, then asked. "Are you
here on business or something?"

"No, Nick." I replied. "I live here in Orlando now.
This has been my home for the last 2 years."

We were both silent again, but this time it was Nick
who broke the silence.

"How have you been doing since.............." He
trailed off, knowing where he was headed.

"Since you and your friends threw me out of your
lives?" I asked him, a hint of anger in my voice. "How
do you think, Nick?"

Nick's expression turned to concern.

"Sean I didn't come back here to get into a fight with
you." He told me. "I just wanted to say hello and ask
you if you wanted to say hello to Danny, Kandi, and
the rest of the guys?"

"They're here?" I asked in shock. "Did they see me?"

"Yes they did." Nick said. "They want to talk to you."

Now I was really amazed. They still wanted to talk to
me after all of this time?

"Really? I asked him. "Ok, I guess I'll at least
listen to what they have to say."

"Alright then, come with me." Nick said.

He put his arm around my shoulders as I walked by him
towards the door. I flinched as his arm came in
contact with me. Nick must have noticed, because his
arm left my shoulder at that moment. We had stopped
near the door.

"I'm sorry, Sean." He said. "I didn't mean to make you
uncomfortable."

"Don't worry about it, Nick." I said. "It's alright. I
just wasn't expecting it. But you really shouldn't put
your arm around me. After all you are married to
Jessica now."

Hearing me mention Jessica, Nick got quiet. Then I
thought of his little girl.

"Nick, how is your daughter?" I asked him.

Hearing me mention his little girl, Nick's face lit up
and his smile told me all I needed to know.

"She is an angel, Sean." He said. "I can't put into
words how much she means to me. I love her so much."

"It shows." I said, smiling at how happy he obviously
was. Yet a part of me was sad. I used to be the one
who made him as happy as he was now. But now that was
over.

"I saw you and Jessica on Carson's show today." I told
him. "I know your daughter's name is Nicole. But what
is her full name?"

"Nicole Jessica Lachey." Nick said. "Jess and I call
her "Nikki."

"Do you have any pictures of her?" I asked him.

"Oh yeah." Nick said, reaching into his pocket.

He pulled out his wallet and opened it to the picture
of Nicole. Then he handed me his wallet.

I took it and the picture of a perfect angel filled my
eyes. Nikki has blond hair and blue eyes. She looked
alot like Jessica. Except that she had her father's
eyes.

"She's beautiful, Nick." I said. "Just like her
mother.......

Here, I looked up at Nick, who was looking back at me.

"And her father." I finished.

Our eyes locked on each other. But only for a few
seconds. I realized what I was doing and shook myself.

"Where is everyone else now?" I asked Nick.

"They're out in the limo waiting for me." Nick said,
quietly.

"Then, you should go." I said, suddenly. Nick frowned.

"Aren't you coming?" He asked me.

"Not right now." I said. "I have to ask Jake and
Michelle to take me home first to get my car."

"Who are Jake and Michelle?" Nick asked me, curiously.

"They're my new friends." I told him. "They've been
there for me during some of the hardest times of my
life."

Nick nodded. "So, will you come to our hotel after you
get your car?"

I sighed.

"I can't promise that, Nick, but I'll try." I told
him.

Nick shrugged, unsure how to feel about my answer.

"Well, the ball is in your court, Sean." He said. "But
just know that this is our last night here. Tommorrow
we leave to go back to Los Angeles. We were only here
a few days for a couple live concerts. So, you really
should come and talk to us. You might not get this
chance again."

I felt like he was giving me an ultimatum, trying to
pressure me into seeing them. But I was not about to
be pressured into anything by him or by anyone else.

Not ever again.

"I'm sorry, Nick." I said to him, bitterly, my face
void of any emotion. "I will not be pressured into
anything. Not by you. Not by anyone."

Nick's eyes shifted down to the floor, as he processed
my bitter words.

"Wow." He said, a catch in his voice. "You really have
changed.

"That's right, Nick, I have." I told him. "I'm no
longer the man that you once knew and loved. He's
gone, thanks to you and Drew, and all your friends."

Nick's eyes closed for a moment. Then without a word,
he turned and walked towards the door. Before he went
through it, he stopped, his back to me.

"The offer still stands, Sean." I heard him say. "We
will wait for you at the Sheraton hotel. If you change
your mind and want to talk, please stop by. I'll be in
room 104."

Nick started to walk away.

Nick, wait." I said.

Nick stopped and turned around to face me.

"Despite everything, It was good to see you." I told
him. "Give that precious angel of yours a big hug and
kiss for me. and give my best to your wife."

Nick smiled a little.

"I'll do that." He replied.

He stood there for a moment and looked at me. Like he
was looking at me for the last time. I looked right
back, taking in the beauty of his sexy blue eyes.

"Bye." Nick said, then turned and left, leaving me
alone in the dressing room.

I turned around and sat down for a moment to think. I
thought about how Nick looked when he left. There was
a look in his eyes. Almost like he was pleading with
me to come to the hotel so we could all talk.

"But what does he want to talk about?" I asked
outloud.

I then decided that I wanted to go home. I walked back
to the stage and back to my table where Jake and
Michelle were waiting.

"Where have you been?" Michelle asked, looking
worried.

"I was backstage." I told her. "I needed time alone
for a bit."

"Is everything all right?" Jake asked me. "You sure
were back there for quite a while."

"Actually, I'm getting tired." I said. "Could you
please take me home now."

"Of course." Jake said. "We're ready to go too."

"All right then, let's go." I stated.

We all paid for our drinks and left the club. We got
into Jake's car and drove home.

When we got back to the beach apartment, Jake parked
and shut off the ignition. We all got out and started
heading towards our homes.

"Well guys, I had a great time tonight." I told them.
"Thanks for taking me with you."

"You're welcome." Jake said. "Well, Michelle and I are
going to turn in. You take care, buddy, ok?"

I will, Jake." I told him, shaking his hand. "You both
do the same."

"You bet we will." Michelle said, as she took Jake's
hand in hers. "Goodnight, Sean."

"Goodnight." I said back.

I watched them leave and head into their apartment as
I stood outside, listening to the sound of the water
crashing onto the shore. I had to admit that it was
very relaxing.

As I stood there, I kept thinking about Nick. I
couldn't get that look in his eyes out of my mind. It
was like he had alot he needed to tell me but couldn't
bring himself to at the club.

At that moment, I knew that there were alot of things
there were left unsaid. We had unfinished business to
attend to.

I grabbed my keys out of my pocket and walked to my
car. I unlocked the door and climbed into the driver's
seat. After putting on my seat belt, I started the car
and pulled out of the parking lot, heading on my way
to the Sheraton hotel.


After about 10 minutes, I pulled into the hotel
parking lot and parked the car. I shut off the engine
and got out of the car, locking the doors behind me.

I walked into the hotel and headed towards the
elevators. I hit the "UP" button and waited for the
elevators to open. After about a minute, they opened
and were empty. I walked inside and pressed the button
for the first floor. The elevator began it ascent up
to the first floor.

The door opened and I walked out into the hallway and
proceeded to walk down it until I found room 104.

When I finally found it, I stopped in front of the
door. I hesitated before knocking. I was still
wondering if I'd be able to handle another
confrontation again. Even after two years. But I knew
that If I didn't do it now, I'd never get the chance
again.

I gathered all my courage I had left in me, knocked on
the door and waited for a response.

After about a few seconds, the door opened and I came
face to face with Nick.

"Hi." Nick said, looking relieved. "I had almost given
up on you coming. Come on in."

I entered and came face to face with five more sets of
eyes. Jeff, Justin, Drew, Danny, and Kandi were
standing at the far end of the room, looking back at
me.

I noticed that they all had mixed emotions playing on
their face. Like they were wrestling with how they
should feel about seeing me after all of this time.

Nick shut the door and came back to stand beside me.

"As I was telling you at the club earlier, the guys,
including myself wanted to talk to you, but we
couldn't get into it there." Nick explained. "That's
why we asked you to come here instead."

I just nodded. I was feeling really awkward and didn't
know what to say or do. But I knew I had to say or do
something.

"Hello, everyone." I greeted the five of them,
standing a few feet away.

"Hello, Sean." Danny greeted me.

But it didn't seem like a very warm greeting. He
seemed upset with me. And he had every right to be I
guess. Especially since I never contacted him when I'd
left the Lachey house two years ago.

"You sure have changed alot in 2 years." Danny
continued. "Your hair is longer now and you've
obviously changed alot as a person as well."

"That's true, Danny, I have." I told him. "Alot has
happened these past two years."

I glanced over at Jeff, who was standing beside Danny
and had his arm around him.

"So, Jeff." I said. "Do I take it that your arm around
Danny means that you two are still a couple?"

Jeff nodded, smiling.

 "Yes, Danny and I have had a great relationship these
past two years." He replied. "Not that it's always
been perfect or anything. We've had problems along the
way as well in our relationship, but we always worked
them out. and look at us now. We're still together and
now more in love than we've ever been."

"Good." I said, smiling a little. "I'm glad."

Then I turned to Justin and Kandi.

"What's new with you two?" I asked them, curiously.

"Alot." Justin said. "Kandi and I are engaged now.
We're getting married this summer."

normally, I would have been really excited and
ecstatic about it and would have been bouncing off the
walls with that news. Except that I was still reminded
of the fact that they both had their part in the
decision to disown me 2 years ago.

"That's great." I said, sincerely, although not very
enthusiasticly. "Congratulations."

"That's it?" Nick asked me, shocked at the way I was
reacting. "That's all you have to say is
"Congratulations?"

I turned back to Nick and gave him an annoyed look.

Nick, what do you all expect? That I'm just going to
make myself look like an ass by getting overly excited
about it?" I asked him.

"You certainly don't need any pointers on that." Drew
said, sarcastically. "You're doing a good job of
acting like one now."

"Drew!" Nick said, horrified by his brother's words.

I whipped around and glared at Drew, the anger inside
of me starting to heat up.

"Well, you certainly haven't changed these last two
years!" I snarled. "You're still as heartless and as
selfish as ever!"

"Alright you two, shut the fuck up and listen to me!"
Nick said, the authority in his voice saying no
arguments.

Everyone looked up at Nick in shock. Even I was
shocked, almost scared at the seriousness in Nick's
voice."

"I'm not going to listen to you two insulting each
other anymore!" Nick continued. "We all have issues
that we need to resolve and we're not going to get
anywhere if you two keep acting like a couple of
immature children, shooting your mouths off like this!
that is not why we asked Sean to come here!"

I saw the disappointment in Nick's eyes, as he looked
at Drew and I.

"Then why am I here, Nick?" I asked him, angrily.
"Would you please make that clear?!"

Nick looked at the rest of the guys and they all
nodded, except Drew, who was still angry with me,
signalling Nick to go on.

"We wanted to know if there's any chance that we could
all be your friends again?"

My thoughts were in a whirl. I couldn't believe what I
was hearing: Nick and his friends all wanted me back
with them again?! But was that what I wanted?

It sounded too good to be true. If Nick had asked me
that about a year ago, I probably would have said yes
without a second thought. But considering what I went
through, the emotional scars were still fresh.

"I'm sorry, guys." I said. "I don't think that's even
remotely possible."

"How is it I'm not surprised that you'd say that?"
Drew said, bitterly

That was it for me. I whipped around towards Drew and
lost it.

"DAMN IT, DREW, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" I screamed at
him. "I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE ARE
TREATING ME THIS WAY! YOU'RE THE REASON NICK AND I
BROKE UP IN THE FIRST PLACE!! YOU'RE THE REASON I LOST
EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE WHO MATTERED MOST TO ME IN
THIS WORLD!"

Everyone cringed at my outburst. They looked almost
afraid of me at that moment.

"Well considering how I'd lost you to Nick in the
past, I guess I can understand what you went through
after we did what we did two years ago." Drew said,
angrily.

His statement just made me angrier and  I really let
him have it this time.

"DON'T YOU DARE COMPARE YOUR SITUATION TO MINE, DREW!"
I shouted. "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WENT THROUGH! YOUR
PAIN WAS NOT THE SAME AS MINE!"

"All right, Sean, all right." Nick said. "Please calm
down. You're right. We have no idea what you went
through. Would it help to talk about it?"

I took a few deep breaths and turned around to face
Nick. I could have hugged him right then and there for
trying to keep the peace between all of us, but I
couldn't.

I looked down and noticed my wedding band was still on
my finger. I then raised my hand up to Nick.

"Remember this, Nick?" I asked, holding my hand up to
his face, showing me the ring.

Nick gasped when he saw it. "You're still wearing
that?! He asked in amazement.

"Wearing what?" I heard Drew say. I turned around and
showed Drew my hand. He too looked shocked as well.

"Why are you still wearing that ring, Sean?" He asked
me. "What you and Nick had is over."

I could have slapped him for his insensitivity, but I
was tired of fighting.

"To be honest, I don't even know myself." I said,
bringing my other hand up to grasp the ring. "For some
reason, I haven't been able to bring myself to take it
off."

I then walked over to Nick and stood beside him. I
turned to face the rest of the guys.

"When Nick broke up with me and you all decided that
you didn't want me in your lives anymore, I was
devastated." I told them all. "A few days after I
left, I had to decide where I wanted to live. I knew I
couldn't stay in Los Angeles or go back to New York.
There were too many bad memories in both places. Too
much pain."

I hesitated, before continuing, trying to keep it
together. Having to tell them all what I went through
was so much harder than when I was raped. I then
continued with my story.

"After I left, my anger took over and I decided that I
didn't want to stay in touch with Danny or anyone who
had caused me such unbearable pain. So, I then decided
to live here in Orlando, Florida and I changed my
cellphone number. I also made sure my phone number was
unlisted both in the telephone book and the Directory
Assistance site. I didn't want any of you to find me.

I got myself an apartment on the beach out here as
well as a job and set about trying to put my life back
together. I couldn't deal with anything or anyone and
when I thought things couldn't get any worse for me,
They did."

Here, I stopped, the tears starting to overwhelm me. I
noticed everyone, even Drew, seemed to really feel bad
now about how they treated me then. And they should
feel bad.

"How did they get worse, Sean?" Drew said, this time
sounding sincerely genuine. "What happened?"

I closed my eyes, as two tears made their way down my
face. here was the hard part.

"I tried to take my own life." I got out.

I heard Nick gasp, and then the rest of the guys gasp.

"Oh Sean." Jeff said. "Please tell me you didn't?"

I sat down on the bed and started sobbing my heart
out. I felt someone sit down next to me and put his
arm around me. I looked up through my tears to see
Nick looking at me. He had tears in his eyes too.

"What could have posessed you to want to take your own
life?" Nick asked me, softly.

"I was at the end of my rope, Nick." I sobbed. "I had
lost my husband who I once loved. I lost my best
friends who I cared about more than anything. After
that, I was completely alone. I couldn't handle it
anymore and then I decided that I wanted to stop the
pain for good. That's when I drove into town and found
this cliff which overlooked the highway down below.

I stood up there, looking down at all of the cars
driving across the highway down there and after awhile
I couldn't take the pain anymore and decided that I
was going to end it. That's when I met Jake."

"Who's Jake?" Justin asked.

"He's my new best friend." I told Justin. "When I
finally decided that I was going to end it, I started
to let myself fall off of the cliff and as I did, I
felt someone grab me and pull me away from it. Jake
was there and asked me what the hell I was thinking.
So, without going into details or giving out names, I
told him about you guys and the way you disowned me.
Needless to say he was furious about it. He offered to
take me back to his place where he lives with his
girlfriend. You can imagine my shock when it turned
out that he was actually one of my neighbors. He lives
in the same complex as mine is. I met Michelle who was
very sweet and the three of us talked for hours and
they decided to get me some professional help."

Drew then came over and sat down beside me. I could
tell he was very torn up over what his behavior as
well as everyone else's could have cost me.

"I take it that's what you did?" He asked me, as he
wiped at his eyes. I nodded.

"Yes. I decided that I had to get my life back and to
deal with my pain once and for all. It took me a
little over a year to recover. And Jake and Michelle
were there for me during some of the most painful
times of my life. They helped me get back on my feet
again. And once I was better, I knew then and there
that I did not need a man to make me happy and I was
able to learn to live on my own again. I had Jake and
Michelle in my life and that was all I needed. They
had become my friends for life. And that as we all say
is history."

I sighed and stood up.

"Now do you all understand why I can't take you up on
your offer to be friends again?" I asked everyone
around me. "There's too much history between us all.
There's too much pain."

All of them looked at each other, sadly, knowing that
they had caused all of this and they understood my
decision. Well almost all of them. Danny didn't agree.

"Sean, have you forgotten that I was your friend too?"
He asked me, hurt evident in his voice. "And despite
everything that's happened, I still am your friend.
Are you telling me that you don't want anything to do
with me anymore either?"

I couldn't look him in the eye, which told him
everything he needed to know.

"If that's what you want, you have to look me in the
eye and tell me to my face." I heard him say.

I managed to look up at him and I instantly regretted
it because the look on his face was too much for me to
bear.

"I'm sorry, Danny." I said, softly. "But you hurt me
just as much as everyone else. So it's going to be a
very long time before I am ever able to think of you
as my best friend. IF I'm ever able to think of you as
my best friend ever again."

Danny nodded and hung his head. he turned towards
Jeff, who pulled Danny into his arms and held him as
he cried, while looking at me, sadly. Jeff knew how I
felt. But that didn't mean he had to like it either.

"I'm truly sorry that it has to be this way, guys. I
really am." I said. "As much as I would like nothing
more than to accept your offer, I can't help but
wonder if you guys will hurt me like that ever again.
I've forgiven all of you for alot of things, but this
time, it was the last straw. I can't allow for you
guys to destroy me like that again. I couldn't handle
it if it were to happen again."

"You'll never know until you at least give us a chance
to make this up to you." Nick said. "Who knows, maybe
you'll be even happier this time with us."

I looked over at Nick. He had tears running down his
face. without realizing it, I reached over and wiped
the tears off of his face. I heard Nick gasp at my
touch and I realized what I was doing.

"Oh god, what am I doing?" I said, getting up and back
away. "I'm sorry, Nick. I can't be friends with you
all anymore, I have to leave."

"And he said I was heartless." Drew said. "But now he
takes the cake!"

Drew's last statement stung. I turned towards him and
looked at him in horror. Drew was lashing out at me. I
knew right then and there that he no longer loved me
anymore.

"Drew, shut up!" Nick said to him, harshly.

I surprised myself with what I did next. As I looked
at Drew, my look of horror turned to anger and I took
a swing at Drew and punched him across the face.

"YOU BASTARD!" I screamed at him, as he staggered back
and fell. "YOU HAVE A HELL OF ALOT OF NERVE SAYING
THAT TO ME AFTER WHAT I'VE PUT UP WITH FROM YOU
LATELY!"

Drew got up and lunged at me, intent on finishing what
I'd started, but Nick acted quick and stepped in
between us just as Drew swung at me. Nick caught his
arm, blocking his hit.

"DREW, YOU STOP THIS FUCKING NONSENSE RIGHT NOW!" Nick
screamed at Drew. "IF YOU ASK ME, YOU DESERVED WHAT
YOU GOT!"

Drew looked at his brother in complete shock. he
couldn't believe that Nick was sticking up for me.
Frankly neither could I.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" Drew shouted at Nick. "YOU'RE
ACTUALLY TAKING HIS SIDE!"

"YES, DREW, I AM!" Nick shouted back.

"WHY?!" Drew protested.

"BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!!!!

Danny, Kandi, Jeff, and Justin inhaled sharply, as if
that was a painful blow. Nick's eyes widened when he
realized what he'd said. He then turned towards me to
see my reaction. That when he saw the door to his
room, slamming shut.

Sean?! Sean, come back!" Nick called out, running
after me.



TBC............?

That's all for this installment. What will happen
next?

What caused Sean to run away when Nick blurted out to
Drew that he still loves Sean? Was it just an
accidental slip or is it how he really feels?

If that's so, will there be a reconciliation between
Nick and Sean? Is Drew really being an ass to Sean
because he means it? or is there something more behind
it?

Don't miss what happens next. Because it's Everything!

Stay tuned.

slpwriter