Date: Wed, 10 Nov 2004 01:51:44 -0800 (PST)
From: Sean <sneaker_sean@yahoo.com>
Subject: My Family: For Better or Worse, Chapter Two

Disclaimer:
      This story is fiction, totally fake. I don't know
NSYNC, or any of the other celebrities that will show up,
don't know anything about them, besides the usual fan stuff,
I don't know anything about any of the guys sexuality. This
is simply a story that I wanted to write. I hope you enjoy
it.

Legal Stuff:
      This story does contain some adult material, and not
necessarily sex. It covers a sensitive subject. Eventually
there might be some sex involved and if you are underage you
better not being reading this. Or if it is illegal in your
area to view this material. If it's not then enjoy and
remember authors need feedback to make the story better, so
write me.

Chapter Two: Old wounds reopened.

     "Eric was my first and only boyfriend, I thought he
loved me, I guess I was wrong. We meet through my
stepbrother Mark, they were best friends, I soon found out
why. We meet when I was fourteen and Eric was seventeen, at
first everything was perfect well as perfect as my life
could get." I paused, and Josh squeezed my hand. "Justin you
did call for breakfast right, my throat is really bothering
me." I commented.
     "Yeah they said it would be up in a minute." Justin
said. Lance jumped up.
     "Can I get you some more water Sean?" He asked
tentatively.
     "Thank you Lance." I said.
     "Call me James." He said as he grabbed my glass and
went to the mini fridge.
     "As you wish." I said. He straightened back up.
     "You don't have to if you don't feel comfortable with
it." James said.
     "That isn't what I meant James." I said. "I was just
commenting on if you want to be called that that is what I
will do." I added. "Besides I like James better."
     "Good I like it too." He came back and handed me my
water again. After taking a drink I continued.
     "We dated for like a month when it first happened. We
got into a fight about something stupid. Eric said something
to hurt my feelings. Afterwards he told me he loved me and
that he didn't mean it. I forgave him and life went on. A
week later it happened again. Only this time he never said
he was sorry. After like a month of this he realized I stop
listening to what he said when he was being mean, so one day
he hit me. Afterwards it was like when he first hurt my
feelings he apologized and I forgave him though I don't know
why. After that life took a turn for the worst, my life
became a living hell. I was a virtual if not literal
prisoner." I started to rub my wrists Josh caught it.
     "Are you okay?" He asked me.
     "Just memories of old wounds and some new ones." I
whispered.
     "You can stop if you want to." Justin said.
     "Do you want me to?" I asked looking at him. His eyes
were watery and he looked upset. "If so tell me Justin." I
added.
     "No I just can't believe someone would do that." Justin
said. "Like Josh said tell us only what you want to."
     "Where was your family didn't they see this happening
to you?" Joey asked. I had just about forgotten him and
Chris were even in the room.
     "My Stepmother never liked me, I know its sounds clich‚
but it was kind of the Cinderella complex. My father was too
occupied with keeping her happy to even notice I was around.
My stepbrother knew what was happening but he didn't care
either he hated me more then his mother." I answered.
"Eventually Eric started demanding I spend the nights with
him as he loved me to much to have me be alone. What that
really meant was he wanted to keep an eye on me so I
wouldn't tell anyone. He would beat me and tell me that I
was a bad person that I was trash and no one but he loved me
and he was doing it for my own good. I started to believe
him, after a while. During the summer he would literally
keep me chained up in his room." I heard the guys take a
sharp intake of breath.
     "Your wrists?" Josh asked. I nodded; I pulled up the
sleeve of my black shirt up. As the cuff cleared my wrist
the stark white bandages came into view, I noticed it was
stained red they would need changing soon. "What happened?"
He whispered.
     "Eric was very fond of pain." I said as I pulled the
sleeve back down. "He used metal cuffs on me so they bit
into my arms as I pulled and tried to get away." I added.
     "When did you get away?" Chris said.
     "Which time?" I asked.
     "There was more than once?" He asked.
     "I have escaped him four times so far. But he keeps
coming back; someday he will find me again." I said in a
small voice.
     "Not if we can help it." Josh said as everyone agreed.
I gave them a weak smile not really believing them but
wanting to anyway.
     "After each escape there comes the part he finds me
again and hurts me worse for hurting him. The third time he
caught me was supposed to be the last one. But he came up
against something he didn't expect." I added, with smile.
     "What?" All five of them asked.
     "After escaping for the third time I decided this would
be the last time. Once he found me again I knew it was now
or never. I lashed out, to this day I don't know what I did,
and all I do know is that I nearly killed him. Afterwards my
family kicked me out and I have been living on my own for
almost year. I moved to Pasadena, and have been hiding form
him ever since. Until a week ago." I said. I felt Josh's
hand dig into mine; I wanted to pull way because it hurt,
but thought that might appear rude.
     "What happened?" Josh asked quietly I got the
impression he didn't want to hear the answer.
     "Eric found me, surprised me, he told me I was the most
horrible person alive. He told me how I had hurt him
physically and mentally when I ran. He said it was time to
pay. I knew he was going to kill me, if he could. The
problem was that after I had escaped the last time, almost
half a year ago I had been taking self defense classes and
such. Unfortunately Eric managed to get the cuffs on me. I
knew I was doomed, but fate would intervene on my behalf." I
said.
     "What do you mean?" James said, he still had his hand
resting ever so gently on my right knee, Justin had moved
over so he was on my left side sitting on the arm of the
chair. Josh was on my right, my right hand still held
tightly by him. Chris and Joey were sitting on the floor
cross-legged behind James.
     "Well James you recall I mentioned earlier that Eric
was fond of pain right?" He nodded. "And he liked to use
metal wrist cuffs?" Again nod. "He used a piece of leather
to hold the two cuffs to each other. One of his favorite
things to do was to link them together between the rungs of
his headboard.  Well after three years of almost constant
use the leather was wearing thin. I was able to snap it and
break free. He never saw my fist coming. I am pretty sure I
broke his nose." I said a grim smile on my face. Then I
thought about what I was saying, and my mouth fell open.
Looking down I said. "I can't believe I just said that like
that. I shouldn't be proud of hurting him." I whispered.
     "Yes you should." Josh said squeezing my hand.
     "He deserved it" Justin added.
     "Regardless of weather or not he deserved it or not. I
shouldn't take pleasure in it. That is how he works he takes
pleasure form the pain of others. So I do regret what
happened, but it was a necessary evil." I said. The guys
nodded. "By the way I think he did too." I smiled. Just then
there was a knock at the door, Justin, James and Josh all
felt me tense up.
     "It's okay Sean it's just the room service." Josh said
soothingly.
     "Right I knew that." I said with a weak smile.
     "You are really scared aren't you?" Justin asked me as
Joey got up to get the food.
     "After everything that has happened to me, I tend to
live in fear." I said sadly.
     "But that is the wrong way to live; you should live
your life in love not fear." James said.
     "In a perfect world I could, but the world isn't
perfect and I am no where near perfect." I said.
     "What do you mean you're no where near perfect?" Josh
asked.
     "I told you I am a bad person, I am trash, and no one
loves me." I said as the tears fell down my face. "I have no
friends, no family, nothing; I can't even afford to pay for
tea." I said burring my head on my knees, as the tears and
sobs ran through me. I felt as though I would never be happy
again. Josh squeezed my hand, James rubbed my knee, but then
I felt it, Justin's hand slid down across my back. "DON'T
TOUCH ME THERE!" I screamed. I felt everyone's hands jerk
off me, but Josh's who was still holding on to my hand
tight.
     "Sean calm down, it's going to be okay. I promise it
will." Josh said to me.
     "And we know your not a bad person because God helped
you get free and to come find us to help you." James said.
     "And we all know you're not trash. No one is, though I
would like to say Eric is." Justin said.
     "And we hope you already think of us as friends." Chris
said. "So see you're not as alone as you think you are." He
added.
     "And as for family, that is where we come in again. We
will be your family if you let us." Joey said as he wheeled
in the cart of food. I looked up with them with tears in my
eyes.
     "My family, for better or worse." I said with a smile,
the first real one they had scene since I got there.
     "Feel better?" Josh asked.
     "A bit" I said, "But it will grow and one day I might
even be all better." I added.
     "That is the spirit. Now let's have some breakfast."
Joey said. I pulled away form the guys and went to look at
what they had ordered. There was a dazzling array of food
there, everything form coffee to a pot of water for tea,
milk, juices and mountains of food. I stood by the cart and
removed the first lid, under it was French toast.
     "James I believe this one is yours." I said holding it
up.
     "How did you know?" he asked as he took the plate and a
glass of orange juice.
     "Hello? I am a fan remember. I do know at least a few
things." I said with a smile.
     "Well then you should be able to tell what the rest of
us ordered then." Chris said.
     "Actually I can't, James was the only one I knew." I
said with a laugh.
     "That is okay, the two plates of pancakes are Josh and
Justin's along with tea for Josh and I guess you to Sean.
Coffee for Justin and Chris. As for me I want some orange
juice, like Scoop." Joey said. As he was rattling off the
list I was delivering the food to the respective owners.
"Chris wanted a waffle, the stake and eggs are mine and I
have no idea what Justin ordered for you." Joey said. Justin
suddenly choked on his pancakes.
     "I am going to go by that reaction that someone forgot
about me?" I said raising an eyebrow.
     "I did remember the tea." Justin said in his own
defense. "Here you can half my pancakes." He said he truly
looked upset. I patted his shoulder.
     "It's okay I am not much of a breakfast eater anyway.
But thanks for the offer. I could probably sell them on eBay
for a fortune." I said with a laugh.
     "That isn't very funny." He said, I could tell he was
kicking himself for not asking about food. I sipped my tea,
chamomile with some honey, and sat down on the arm of the
chair on Justin's left side.
     "Justin, look at me." I said his head rose and his pale
blue eyes looked at me. "It's not a big deal; I am not real
hungry anyway, but thank you for the offer." I leaned over
and lightly kissed his cheek. He blushed, it was so cute.
All the guys made cutesy noises and such. "Stop it all of
you, or I will have to kiss everyone in this room and as
James can tell you I suck at it." I said trying to be
serious and failing badly.
     "I never said you suck, I just said I have had better."
James said.
     "Translation, the same thing James." I responded.
     "Besides it was nice and I was just playing around, you
know that right?" He asked.
     "I guess so." I said, frowning for a split second
before smiling at him. I suddenly looked up at the ceiling.
"Why me?" I asked,
     "Why not?" That was the reply from everyone else in the
room. I was still sitting on Justin's left side thinking
about how many girls would cut off their leg to be were I
was, when I noticed Justin was watching me, he looked like
he had a question.
     "Spit it out, Justin. What do you want to know?" I
asked. He swallowed his bite and looked up at me.
     "Why didn't you want me to touch your back?" He asked
in a small hurt voice.
     "Oh Justin I didn't realize I hurt your feelings about
that, but I won't answer your question just yet, wait till
after breakfast." I said draping an arm over his shoulder.
He pulled to his right and I found myself sharing the chair
with him.
     "I will agree with that only if you eat something, when
was the last time you ate?" he asked.
     "Already taking to that big brother thing, Justin?" I
asked. He just winked at me. "In answer to your question it
was, yesterday for lunch." I answered him. Justin just shook
his head, and held up a bite of pancakes up for me to eat.
"Your not going to let me out of this one are you?" I asked.
     "Nope. Now eat." He said. I let Justin feet me
breakfast every so often he would get in a bite for himself
too. Finally when everyone was done, I started to clean up.
"What are you doing?" Justin asked me.
     "Cleaning up. What does it look like I am doing?" I
said automatically.
     "Sean you don't have to do that. They have people who
are paid to do it." Joey said.
     "I know, it's just I work in fast food and I can't help
it." I said. I sat back down, still sharing the chair with
Justin.
     "What you're not in college or something?" James asked.
     "Nope can't afford to go and keep working to pay the
rent." I said quietly, "Not all of us are lucky enough to
make lots and lots of money doing something they love. Not
that I fault you guys for it or anything, never think that.
It's just hard to be poor when your new family has so much
money." I said.
     "Hey you need money you got money now, name a dollar
amount. I am sure we can arrange it." Chris said.
     "I can't accept you money, none of yours. You guys are
doing me more good than anyone has ever done for me, I don't
need money, and I can live with being poor." I said. Justin
wrapped his arm around me careful of my back.
     "Don't worry we will work something out. You will see."
He said. "Now as I recall you told me you would answer the
question about your back after breakfast, well it's after
now." He reminded me.
     "Can everyone keep breakfast down is the question?" I
responded, everyone said they could so I continued
cautiously. "Did anyone happen to notice that the bandages
on my wrists have some blood showing through?" I asked.
     "I did." Josh said.
     "Me too." Said James.
     "Well my wrists aren't the only spots on me, my back
was pretty much hamburger by the time the EMTs got to me.
Before I got loose Eric had taken a bullwhip to my back and
ripped it to pieces in a lot of places." A gasp came form
everyone in the room. "Once I was loose, sure he was gone, I
found out where I was, called 911, let them know what
happened where I was and stuff, and then slipped into a
coma." I felt Justin hold me tighter, not tight enough to
cause pain, but to remind me he was there. "I found out
later they EMTs thought I was dead, they said the blood was
everywhere. I was rushed to the hospital, where doctors
worked feverishly on me. At one point they were convinced I
wouldn't make it, for a brief time I proved them right."
     "What?" Josh asked me.
     "My heart stopped beating for two minutes, the doctors
did all they could to get it going again, which they did,
obviously right." I said with a smile. "Once they had done
all they could all they were waiting on was me to wake up;
five days passed, with out a change. Everyone was beginning
to wonder if I would ever wake up again. No one really knows
what brought me back, but Dani, the nurse on my floor has a
theory." I said taking a pause for dramatic effect.
     "What?" Joey asked.
     "Well she was listening to the radio when there was a
reminder that there was a concert coming up, you guys
concert to be exact, then they started playing `This I
promises you' about half way threw the song she realized
someone else was singing along in a very battered voice." I
said.
     "You woke up to us?" Josh said amazed.
     "She said your guys' voices called me back to life." I
stated. I saw a tear drop side down Justin's cheek. I reach
out and wiped it away with my thumb. "Why are you crying
Justin?"
     "That has to be the most touching story about our music
I have ever heard." He said. "And now you are part of our
family too." I hugged him tightly.
     "Course I had to fight tooth and nail to get here. The
doctors didn't want to release me even for just a half a
day." I said.
     "Are you sure that was such a good idea then?" Chris
said.
     "Probably not the best idea I have ever had, but I
wasn't going to miss this concert for anything not even
that." I said.
     "Wow talk about dedication as a fan." Joey said. I
glanced over his shoulder to the clock by the bed.
     "Speaking of the hospital, I need to get back there. I
have to have these bandages changed and looked at again.
They are probably starting to wonder what happened to me." I
said. "Can someone call a cab or something I should only be
gone for like two hours or so?" I said. The guys exchanged a
look.
     "James call downstairs and have the car ready, I will
take him." Josh said. I held my hand up in a stop motion.
     "Hold up. You guys probably have a million things to do
and I will not have you sitting in a hospital with me." I
said.
     "Actually we have the day off." Justin said.
     "Sean, I don't want you to go anywhere alone, least of
all here. Not knowing he is out there somewhere probably
still in this city." Josh said.
     "Fine you want me to have a babysitter fine, but I get
to pick who." I said.
     "Fair enough." Josh said. I turned to Justin.
     "Will you go with me?" I asked in a small voice.
     "I would love to but don't you want Josh to go?" Justin
asked me.
     "He is afraid of needles and I know they are going to
use them, I don't want him to be afraid." I said. Josh
laughed a bit.
     "I think I could handle it for you." He said. I got up
out the chair.
     "I don't want you to be uncomfortable okay." I said
putting my hand on his cheek. "Please let Justin go with
me." I said giving him the puppy dog eyes he used earlier on
me.
     "Alright, but Justin take one of the bodyguards with
you. And keep him safe." Josh said.
     "My big brother will keep and eye on me right, Bro?" I
said turning to Justin.
     "Totally, Bro." He said with that million-dollar smile.
     "I guess I will worry about a shower afterwards, since
the doctors said I shouldn't get wet. So I am ready when you
are Justin." Justin got up out of his chair and went to his
room to change. I sat back down in the chair and pulled my
knees to my chest. Josh looked over at me.
     "Are you okay?" He asked.
     "What?"
     "Well you're sitting like your upset again."
     "No I also sit like this to be comfortable." I said
smiling. Josh sat on the arm of the chair and took my hand
again.
     "Are you sure I can't come with you?" He asked.
     "Josh I think one international pop singer is all the
hospital can hold." I said with a laugh.
     "But I want to be there for you." He said pouting.
     "You are being here for me, Josh." I said. Josh looked
at me, he eyes were watery, and I suddenly realized he was
hurt that I didn't want him to go with me. "Josh please
don't be upset, it's not that I don't want you to come, I am
just trying to look out for you too." I said, putting my
hand on his shoulder.
     "I thought we were suppose to look out for you." He
said.
     "In a family everyone looks out for everyone else, that
should include me. I maybe broken Josh but I am not
useless." I said.
     "That isn't what I meant." He said.
     "I know you didn't Josh. Besides we spend all last
night together, and half the morning, it's time to get to
know the rest of the guys." I said with a smile.
     "But I don't really know all that much about you." He
said.
     "Josh we have all the time in the world, I will always
be here." I said. "Please let me spend some time with my new
big brother." I whispered to him.
     "What about the rest of us we want to be your brothers
too." Josh said, and everyone agreed.
     "I know and I hope to spend time with each of you
eventually. But right now I want to start with Justin, I
feel so bad for yelling at him about my back. He wasn't
trying to hurt me. I want to make sure he knows I am not mad
about it, and ask his forgiveness, about it." I said in a
small voice.
     "He will forgive you, I know he will. And I know he
doesn't think you're mad about it." Josh said reassuringly.
"But I see your point, okay Justin can take you, but you
better be careful and come back safe." Josh said totally
serious.
     "Yes Dad." I said, the guys laughed. I kissed his cheek
like I had Justin's. "I will be fine, I have a big brother
who will protect me and a bodyguard to protect us both, and
all we are doing is going to the hospital. We will be fine."
I said. Looking around I saw Chris trying to stifle a yawn.
"Why don't you guys get some more sleep some of you could
use a bit more beauty sleep." I said with a laugh.
     "And who would that be?" Josh asked me, his eyebrow
arched.
     "Not you Josh you're already perfect sleep couldn't
help you, but those two really need it." I said pointing to
Joey and Chris.
     "Hey." Chris said.
     "No fair picking on the sleepy ones." Joey said.
     "What about me?" James said.
     "Well you're cute and all, but you need to go lay down
too." I said. "By the pool and get some sun. Gees you live
in Florida and you look like you live in Maine where the sun
comes out for two minutes in the middle of summer." I said
laughing as his mouth fell open. Chris, Joey, and Josh all
joined me. James tried to look hurt but gave it up and
laughed too. Justin came in to announce he was ready and saw
us all laughing.
     "What is so funny?" He asked.
     "What about him?" Joey managed to get out between
laughs. I cut off my laughter and looked at Justin. He
looked great; he had on jeans and a sleeveless tee on. He
had done something to his hair, which reminded me I needed
to fix my own mess of hair.
     "Perfect." Was all I said. Justin blushed a deep red
color, pulling away from Josh I said. "I will be ready in
just a sec, Justin I forgot about my hair." I went into the
bathroom and did my hair barrowing some hair stuff from
Josh's collection. As I stepped back out the guys were
laughing again, Justin had yet to loose that blush and
looked like he was going to hyperventilate, turning to Josh
I said. "I hope you don't mind I borrowed some gel."
     "Not a prob." He said.
     "So what is so funny?" I asked.
     "We were telling Justin about what you said." James got
out. Justin looked at me.
     "So you think I am perfect do you?" He said arching an
eyebrow.
     "Don't let it go to you're head ego boy, besides there
is still one prettier than you." I said in a voice like the
magic mirror on Snow White even though my face was all red.
     "Who?" He said. "Who is prettier than I?" He asked.
     "Him." I said pointing right at Josh. Josh's face went
all red.
     "Well so long as it's someone in this room I can live
with that, besides later I will have my huntsmen take him
into the woods and bring me back his heart." Justin said
with a laugh.
     "Don't you dare." I said putting myself in front of
Josh with my arms held out. "You are not to hurt one hair on
his head." Trying to act serious. Justin bowed low.
     "As you wish. You know your wish is my command." Justin
said.
     "Come on, Dani is probably thinking I am not going to
show up at all." I said. I slipped my arm into his and
started pulling him to the door. Justin straightened his arm
and let mine slip form his. I looked at him questioningly;
Josh saw the look of hurt on my face.
     "Remember Sean, none of us that are gay are out to the
public, we can't be seen hanging on to a guy or have one
hang on to us." He said trying to help me understand. I
nodded.
     "Yeah I forgot about that. Sorry Justin." I said in a
small voice. I felt so dumb how could I forget these guys
were always in the spot light, I turned to go out the door.
As I pulled open the door I felt an arm go over my
shoulders, I looked up and it was Justin. "Justin what are
you doing?" I asked.
     "Showing the world I support my little brother, and if
they have a problem with that oh well." He said pulling me
to him for a tight hug.
     "Thanks Justin." I said. "Well we're off to the
hospital we will be back as soon as we can." I added.