Date: Thu, 13 Jan 2005 01:57:32 -0500
From: "Webmaster @ JT's Place" <jtsplace@nctv.com>
Subject: Boybands - My Kinda Guy - Twilight In Paris - 12, Part E

Warnings and Disclaimers:

I don't know any of the members of NSYNC, BSB or any celebrity mentioned.
I don't know anything about their sexual orientation or the orientation of
any other celebrities in this story (even though I wish some of them were
gay).  This story is fiction and you shouldn't take it for anything else
but that.  This is only for entertainment value only folks.  Hope you enjoy
the show oh I mean reading.


"Twilight in Paris...City of lights, its everything I hoped it would be..."
by JEM and the Holograms

My Kinda Guy - Twilight in Paris
Chapter - 12, Part E
by JT Poole and Nicole Brown

// New York City, NY - The Soffitel - Main Suite - Monday Afternoon //

"What's the deal here?"  JC asks, walking up to JT and Kevin.  "Why are we
here in the same suite?  I don't want to be cooped up with you fucking
freaks."

"Josh shut the fuck up," Justin says, turning around.  "We don't need this
shit right now."

"Mind your business Justin.  You might want to be here, but I don't want to
spend my time around you people," JC says getting up in Justin's face.  "I
am not staying here."

"Well fine with me.  I don't give a flying fuck if you go!"  Justin shouts,
turning around and hugging Nick.  "With the way you have been acting since
we've been here, I don't care where you go! I don't care if you fall off
the face of this Earth.  Just stay away from me Joshua Chasez."

"Baby you don't mean that.  He's your best friend," Nick says as Justin
pulls him away from where JC was standing with Kevin in JT.

"We are getting off track here," JT says, looking over at Nikki and Howie.
"We are here so that we can help with finding CJ.  I don't give a flyin'
fuck if you don't like the fact that we're here or not.  We are, so deal
with it.  This suite has seven bedrooms.  Take a room and stay out of
everyone else's hair."

"Well if its any consolation...me and Carson are going to our place to get
some things squared away for our move.  If you need us, JT knows where to
find us," Lance says as he and Carson waves and walks out of the room.

"Well that means we have extra room here in the suite," JT says, as people
start moving around in the room.

"I'm outta here," JC says, grabbing his bag and walking towards the door.

"Josh, Josh wait!"  Joey shouts, walking behind JC, but then stopping.

"Tony you can't just let him leave in his condition!" Nikki exclaimed. "You
know he isn't thinking clearly, and he's gonna get himself hurt out there
by himself! We have to go after him!"

"He doesn't want me," Joey stated, turning away from her. "He hates me
because I can't make up my mind... it's just like Ma said, I'm never gonna
be happy."

"You listen to me Anthony Fatone," Nikki said, turning him to face her
again. "You're one of the most loving people I know and of course you'll be
happy. We just have to figure out a way for this to work... I know we
can. Just please come with me!"

"All right," he said, taking Nikki's hand and hurrying out the door behind
JC. He was still in the hall, waiting for the elevator.

Nikki reached him first, placing a gentle hand on his arm. "Josh? Please
come back inside the suite and wait 'til you're a little more sober before
you go outside."

JC looked at her like she'd lost her mind, shaking her hand off. "Fuck you
>hiccup<! I ain't goin' nowhere with >hiccup< your stank ass!"

"Josh, stop it!" Joey hissed between clenched teeth as he watched Nikki's
face go from concerned to sad. "She's only trying to help you! There's no
need to talk to her..."

"Fuck you and yo skank bitch Joe," JC retorted, his words slurred. "You
don't give a damn about me! If you did, you woulda been there >hiccup< when
we were on the plane. Not locked away in some fucking bed >hiccup< bedroom
with her."

"What the hell is your problem Joshua?" Nikki exploded, swinging him around
to face him, furious now. "Are you angry with me because Tony came to me
when I was hurting to comfort me? Is that it?"

"Yes! He shoulda been with me!" Josh shouted back, advancing on her with
malice in his eyes. "Every time something bad ha>hiccup< happens, he
fucking runs to you! Why can't you just get the >burp< fuck out of our
lives and let me live with my husband in peace? He doesn't want you bitch,
but you keep throwing yourself at him! >Hiccup< why can't you just take
your lil bastards and leave?"

Nikki recoiled as if she'd been struck, her face draining of color as JC
stared at her with a cruel smile, getting right up in her face. "You're
nothing but a skank ass bitch, and I bet Joey regrets the day he met
you. But he told me you give great head... that's probably why he kept your
nasty black ass around all these years. Cause God only knows you're not
pretty enough to catch your own man. You had to resort to being Michael's
whore and then Howie's bitch just to keep from being alone. It must suck
knowing your ex only kept you to get at another man..."

"That's enough!" Joey roared, shoving JC backwards as he held Nikki, but
she pulled away, sliding down the wall and hugging her knees. "You need to
get the fuck outta here before I forget that I ever loved you and do
something I'll regret."

"What the fuck ever Joe!" JC retorted, smiling drunkenly as he stepped onto
the elevator, but getting in one last parting shot. "I hope you're happy
with that bitch cause you're never coming back to me!"

"Just go Josh!" Nikki snapped, face tear streaked. "And if I see you again
before I find my son, I'll kick your ass personally and with great
pleasure, you fucking prick!"

The elevator doors closed on whatever JC might have been going to say. Joey
turned to Nikki, kneeling in front of her. "Don't cry Kick... he's just a
jealous asshole. Please don't cry baby."

"Let me go Tony!" she stated, pushing him away from her and standing up
again. She stared at him, her gaze steady. "Is what he said true? Did you
tell him the only reason you kept me around was because I gave good head?"

Joey looked dumbfounded, and Nikki's eyes narrowed before she turned to
leave him standing there. He caught her arm, kissing her deeply, holding
her body close to his. When they broke apart, her eyes were shining and her
breath coming in quick little gasps.

"I would never say those things about you!" Joey replied, kissing her again
until she went limp against him. "I told you I loved you and I meant every
word. Now forget about JC. He doesn't deserve to have that kind of
power. Let's go back inside."

// Back at the Hotel //

"We still don't have any updates.  Officer Patrick said that as soon as
they have a lead, they'll let us know.  The only thing we can do right now
is just sit here and wait," JT says, sitting down next to Kevin on the sofa
in front of the television.

"So what do you want to do while we wait baby?"  Kevin asks, draping his
arm around JT's shoulder.

"I don't really care Kevin.  I'm just tired right now.  I need to just sit
here and chill out for a bit," JT says as Justin brushes past him, sitting
on the sofa next to him.

"What's up guys?  What are we doing tonight?"  Justin asks, patting JT on
the leg.

"So far I don't want to do anything.  I just want to sit here and..." JT
states as Kevin cut him off.

"Baby you need to stop dwelling on what assholes say to you.  Don't pay any
attention to their bullshit," Kevin says, leaning down and placing a kiss
on JT's lips as Justin looks away from the two of them.

"The things those crazy people say must be true if they keep saying them,"
JT said as he tries to get up, but Kevin grabs his hips and pulls him back
down.  "Kevin no, I don't want to stay here now.  I guess I'll go out on
the balcony."

"No baby, stay here with me," Kevin begs, looking up at JT pleadingly.

"Yeah man, stay here with us and watch some TV.  I'm sure something good is
on," Justin says, patting JT's leg again, his hand lingering there a bit.

"I don't know," JT says, looking down at Justin's hand that was still
resting on his leg.  "I don't feel I like I should be here.  Maybe I need
to go take a nap or something."

"No, just stay here with me baby," Kevin says, noticing Justin's hand on
JT's thigh.  "We can enjoy ourselves...ourselves right here."

"Kevin is there something on TV you want to see?" JT asks.

"Not in particular, why baby?" Kevin asks, leaning in and kissing JT on the
cheek while watching Justin's hand.

"Because I don't want to watch TV," JT says, as he gets up this time and
walks away as Kevin stands up too, leaving Justin on the sofa with a frown
on his face.

// Out on the Balcony //

"Baby why are you letting JC get to you like this?"  Kevin asks.  "He
shouldn't matter anymore.  I'm your husband, Justin, Nick, Howie and the
others are your friends and we don't see you as some damn security person.
You're my husband and their friend.  Stop letting people hurt your
feelings."

"Well I am not worrying about that right now.  Just so that you will know
Kevin, this is my last security assignment.  I'm leaving Jive once we find
Nikki's baby," JT tells his husband.

"What?  Why?"  Kevin asks.

"I'm tired of people treating me like the lowly security guard they think I
am.  I'm tired of having to look after guys that don't even respect me.
I've had enough Kevin," JT says, turning away from Kevin, looking out over
the city.  "I can't do this job anymore."

"Baby what about me?  Don't you still want to protect me?"  Kevin asks,
tears running down his face now.

"It's not about protecting you Kevin.  I will always love you, but I can't
do this job no more.  For the last year I have put my life on the line to
protect your friends, your extended family and all they do is treat me like
crap.  I can't do it anymore. I won't do it any more.  Once Nikki's baby is
back with her, I'm leaving Jive," JT explains to Kevin, still not looking
at him.

"I know they hurt you baby.  Hell they even hurt me at times.  I know
you're not happy with the things AJ, Brian, JC or even Chris have said to
you in the past, but I don't want this to affect our lives together baby.
What happens when you leave Jive?"  Kevin asks.

"Remember when I spent that week here in New York back in October?"  JT
asks, turning around to look at Kevin.

"Yeah I do baby.  You said you needed to get away from the South," Kevin
replies.

"Yeah I needed that too, but I also got started with a business venture,"
JT states as Kevin lean a little closer to him, wrapping his arms around
him as the two of them held on to each other.

"A business venture?  What kind baby?"  Kevin asks, looking into JT's eyes.

"I opened a security contractual firm.  I am now the owner of JPR
Security," JT says, as Kevin looks at him closely.  "Stop looking at me
like that Kev, you scaring me."

"You own your own company?  Is that what you are trying to say baby?"
Kevin asks.

"Yes I own my own company now Kevin."  JT says as Kevin smiles and then
kisses him.

"Hot damn, my baby owns his own company.  Are you going to tell the others
baby?"  Kevin asks, pulling back a little ways.

"I guess we can tell them Kevin.  We'll tell Nikki, Nick and Justin.  I
don't want the others to know about it yet.  I know they'll have something
smart and/or evil to say about it," JT says.

"Come on baby let's go tell them," Kevin says, pulling JT back into the
room, draping his arm over JT's shoulder while kissing him on the cheek.
"They are going to be so happy for you."

"Yeah if you say so," JT says as Nick walks into the room just in time.

"You two guess what?"  Kevin says, as Justin looks up.

"What?  A chicken got a butt?"  Justin asks.

"Well yeah chicken do have butts, but no that's not it.  My baby opened his
own company," Kevin says, wrapping JT up in a hug and spinning him around.

"Kevin put me down before I end up on the floor!"  JT says laughing as
Justin walks over to the two of them.

"Cool JT.  I'm so happy for you," Justin says, hugging JT, letting his
hands fall down to JT's ass as he grips the cushions there.

"Hey!"  JT exclaims as Justin pulls away.

"Sorry about that.  Kinda thought I was hugging Nicky," Justin replies,
blushing.

"Yeah right man.  You can't confuse my ghetto 'Charmin' with Nick's.  I got
a whole lot of caboose back there.  Sorry, no offense Nick," JT says,
laughing.  "Don't be squeezing the 'Charmin' I might get the wrong idea."

"Oh yeah?  What kind of ideas would you think Justin might get baby?"
Kevin asks, walking over to JT, placing a kiss to his lips.

"I don't know what is going through Mr. Strip Janet Naked During the Half
Time show at the Super Bowl's mind," JT says as Justin remembers the events
of the Super Bowl and starts to blush furiously.  "Oh look Kev, he's
blushing."

"Oh stop it.  It was a design flaw," Justin says, stomping out of the room
as Nick follows him.

"Yeah right," JT says as he and Kevin starts laughing.  "I think I made him
mad."

"I don't think you did baby.  You know he and Nick still have a crush on
you," Kevin says, pulling JT over to the sofa.

"Back on tour Nick asked me about how you were in bed," Kevin says as JT's
eyes almost bugged out of his head.

"What?  You better be kidding," JT says, looking at Kevin.  "This is some
big joke right?  I remember you saying that when we were in Paris, but I
thought you were only saying it to get me to come out of the room."

"No baby I was telling you the truth," Kevin says, smiling wickedly at JT.

"I don't like the look on your face Kevin.  What are you thinking about
right now?"  JT asks, sliding away from Kevin.

"Let me tell you about what went down on tour," Kevin says, sliding closer
to JT as he places a kiss to his lips.  "Remember that night of hot phone
sex we had?"

"Yeah, why?"  JT asks.

"That talk with Justin and Nick that night got my juices flowing and I had
to call you," Kevin says, kissing JT again.

*** Begin Flashback ***

"Yo Kev, can we talk for a bit?"  Nick asked, sitting down across from
Kevin in the lounge area of the tour bus.

"Sure.  What's on your mind Nicky?"  Kevin asked, putting his book down,
turning his attention to Nick.

"Well I...I...ah...well I...I want to know what it's like to be with a
black man."  Nick said, as he started blushing.  "Is it true about what
they say about black men?  Are they really packin' in the dick department?"

"Ah Nick do you really think that's appropriate to talk about?"  Kevin
asked.

"Well you are the only one of my friends that's married to a black man.
Hell, you're the only guy I know that's married to a black man.  I had to
ask someone that would know the answers to my questions," Nick replied.

"Well I think your questions are a little bit out there man.  That's really
personal and all," Kevin said.

"I know it is Kevin.  I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have infringed on your
privacy like that," Nick said as the door opened and Justin walked in.

"What's going on you two?"  Justin asked, sitting next to Nick and kissing
him.

"Well Nick is sitting here asking me questions about my husband," Kevin
replied, crossing his leg and looking at Justin's expression.

"Baby you didn't ask him for real did you?"  Justin asked, not meeting
Kevin's eyes.

"Well you said you wanted to know how big it was," Nick said as Justin
started blushing.

"I was only joking baby.  Oh God...Kevin I'm really sorry," Justin said,
not looking up.

"Oh whatever Justin.  If you want to know something about JT, why don't you
ask him about it sometime?  I'm sure he'll whip it out and show you.  He
might even let you touch it," Kevin said, smirking at the expression on
both Nick and Justin's faces.

"I don't think JT would do something like that Kevin," Justin said, picking
up a nearby magazine and covering his crotch.

"You never know until you ask him Justin.  He might whip it out for you and
ask you to take care of his cravings," Kevin said, watching Justin closely.

"Ah I don't think we would have to go that far," Justin said, crossing his
legs.  "I just wanted to know if what they said about black guys was true
or not."

"Oh it's true and done some Justin.  When JT and me fuck, he becomes an
animal in the bed.  Sometimes I wonder if he's going to start howling or
something.  Oh God and when he takes me, it's like...it's like...let me put
it this way.  Girl I be walking funny for a few days," Kevin explained as
Justin got up and left the room.  "Is he alright?"

"I'm sure he is," Nick stated as both he and Kevin heard what sounded like
someone moaning and groaning.

*** End Flashback ***

"So that's what had you so hot that night.  Why didn't you tell me then?"
JT asks.

"Because I didn't know how you would have reacted," Kevin replies, kissing
JT.

"You actually told him I would show him my dick?  Have you lost your mind
Kevin?"  JT asks.

"No I haven't.  I don't really think Justin and Nick are that kind of
couple," Kevin says, laying into JT's lap.  "I don't think they have the
guts to ask you those questions or approach you like that."

"I think you're wrong about that one.  Justin just coped a feel a few
minutes ago," JT says, laughing.

"Well I am glad you are laughing about this.  I thought you would really go
through the ceiling."  Kevin says.

"You're my husband Kevin.  I'm not going to go through the ceiling or
anything like that.  I just don't think it was wise for you to tell Justin
and Nick what you did.  I honestly think now after hearing what you just
told me, he has a real honest to God crush on me," JT says.

"He does baby," Kevin says.

"And it's all your fault.  That boy has it in his mind that I'm going to
allow him to touch me and see my private parts," JT says getting up.  "I'm
not a piece of meat that you can share with your friends."

"JT it's not like that baby," Kevin says getting up and walking behind JT.

"Then how is it Kevin?  You tell your friends some outlandish story to get
Justin's hopes up ..." JT says as Kevin kisses him.

"Baby it's not like that.  I know I was wrong for what I said to them, but
if it makes you feel better, I'll tell just Justin the truth and tell him
that you don't do things like that," Kevin says.

"Yeah right baby.  How are you going to squash his feelings for me huh?  He
has a crush and that's not going away any time soon," JT states, heading
towards the balcony.

"So what are we going to do?"  Kevin asks, walking up behind JT.

"You mean what are you going to do about this."  JT says, turning to face
Kevin.  "You started this, you are going to finish it."

"Baby I don't see a solution or any good way to fix this," Kevin says.

"I suggest you find a solution to this or you might have two pissy and
heartbroken friends on your hands," JT says, pushing Kevin away as he walks
back into the room.  "I'm going to our room... you coming?"

"Be there in a few babe," Kevin says as JT's cell phone starts ringing.

"Hello?"  JT asks, answering his phone.

"Mr. Richardson, Office Patrick here.  I'm calling to inform you that
Mr. Valente is able to have visitors now.  Could you please escort
Mrs. Dorough to Liberty Springs group home as soon as possible?"  Officer
John Patrick asks.

"Sure I can.  What's the address?"  JT asks.

"They are located at 1235 Middlebury Street in Long Island," Officer
Patrick states as JT writes the information down on a sheet of paper.

"Okay.  Thank you sir," JT states, hanging up the phone.  "Let me go get
Nikki."

"What's going on?"  Kevin asks, grabbing JT by the arm.

"I have to take Nikki to Michael," JT says walking towards the room that
Nikki and Howie had picked to be their room.

"What?  You've got to be kidding.  You can't take her to him.  That's like
a nightmare come true for her," Kevin says, frowning.

"I don't want to take her to him, but we want to find her baby and Steve
said the baby was with Michael.  He's the key to all of this," JT explains
as he and Kevin walk over to Nikki and Howie's door and knock.

"Hi JT, Kevin.  Is there something wrong?"  Howie asks, standing in the
doorway, holding baby Joshua.

"Ah...well...well I need to take Nikki to see Michael."  JT says as Howie's
expression changes to that of anger and then back to his somewhat somber
demeanor.

"She's...she's not in here."  Howie says, looking down at the floor just as
the door opened and Nikki and Joey walked back into the room.

--- Nikki's POV ---

I allowed Tony to lead me back to the suite we were sharing with the
others, my mind still in turmoil. I know Tony would never say those things,
but how else would JC know about my skills in bed unless Tony told him? He
kissed my hand, smiling down at me, his eyes dancing with the love he
claims to feel for me. He kissed me one last time and then opened the door,
letting me pass into the room ahead of him.

"Are you okay?" Kevin asked, his concern evident. I waved a hand
dismissively, walking over to where D stood holding Joshua. He held his
arms out to me, his "Mim-Mim" bringing a smile to my face.

"Hey baby boy," I said softly as I held him, blowing raspberries on his
cheek. He giggled like the happy baby he was, trying to blow raspberries on
my cheek too, bringing smiles to everybody's faces except D, who only
watched us. "D? What's wrong?"

"The police called while you and Joey were in the hall... Michael is
awake," he replied, frowning.

"Well why are you guys still standing here? Go talk to him," I said,
snuggling with Joshua until JT cleared his throat.

"That's the thing Nikki... they want you to come too," he stated, watching
me carefully.

My eyes flashed back and forth, and I felt the panic begin until D stepped
close to me, his hand touching the small of my back. I looked at him, mouth
trembling slightly. I know he's thinking about my nightmares of the time
when I was with Michael. Nightmares that still have the power to wake me up
in the early hours of the morning sobbing while D holds me, trying to calm
me. He also knows how much the thought of being in a room with Michael
could unnerve me, but I was determined to push my fears away long enough to
do this for CJ.

"Guys she can't do this," Howie stated simply. I touched his arm, smiling
crookedly.

"I-I'll do it," I whispered, sharing a glance with Howie that let him know
I'd be okay, but now comes the hard part. "I-I just have one request."

"Sure girl, anything you need," JT said quickly. I looked at Joey, silently
begging him not to fight me on this.

"I-I don't want Howie or Joey going with us... just me, Craig and JT," I
said softly, but Joey was already about to loose his mind.

"Kick, you must be outta your damned mind to even think I'd let you
anywhere near Michael while you're pregnant!" he spat, pacing like a caged
tiger. "He almost killed you the last two times he saw you... and need I
remind you about how he almost killed the boys the last night you were in
Chicago?"

I faced him solemnly, stubbornly refusing to budge on this. "Tony listen to
me," I begged, catching his arm and holding him still. "If Michael knows
you're there, he won't tell us anything just to be spiteful. I can't risk
loosing this opportunity just to play to your idea of chivalry. JT and
Craig won't let anything happen to us. Right JT?"

"I'd kill Michael before I'd let him hurt her Joe," JT replied. "Besides,
the New York police will be there the entire time. There's no way in hell
he'll be able to hurt her."

"Nikki, one of us should go with you," Joey stated, equally stubborn in his
refusal to let me talk him out of accompanying me. "If it makes you feel
better, I'll stay in another room while you talk to him, but I'm going and
that's final."

"But Tony, I..." I began, but he cut me off with one very angry look. My
gazed dropped to the floor, and I sighed in defeat. "All right, you can
go... but please, stay out of his way okay?"

"Fine, whatever Nicole," Joey said over his shoulder as he left to go grab
our jackets. I could tell he was still upset about me wanting to leave him
behind, but Howie put his free arm around me, kissing my cheek softly.

"He'll be okay, mija... he just wants to keep you safe," he whispered,
resting his forehead against the side of my head. "I think I'll stay here
with Joshua. I don't want him anywhere near that bastard, and I don't trust
myself where he's concerned either."

"No!" I say suddenly, looking like a frightened child. "Please don't make
me face him alone. I-I don't think I could do that... it'll be just like
the dreams. He'll hurt me again..."

"Shhhhhh... I'll come," he says softly, hugging me closer to him. "I won't
let anything happen. Come on, let's get Joshua ready to go."

The ride to Liberty Springs passes mostly in silence, broken only by the
occasional outburst from Joshy when he sees something he likes. It helps to
ease the tension I'm feeling, but I can still feel the dread weighing me
down like a boulder. When we arrive at the facility, a fairly innocuous
building in a residential area of Brooklyn, I'm ready to call off the whole
thing until I look at both of my men. They're both trying so hard to be
brave for me, but I can feel the fear for my safety, and for the safety of
the baby inside me, from both of them, and it makes me feel strangely calm.

I'm hesitant to get out, but I open the door on the SUV, slipping to the
ground wordlessly and allowing D and Tony to lead me over to where JT,
Kevin and several detectives stood watching me. I pasted on a smile,
extending a hand to them. "Hi, I'm Nicole Dorough. This is my husband
Howie, and my son's biological father Joseph Fatone."

The female officer extended a hand, shaking mine in a firm
grasp. "Mrs. Dorough, my name is Det. Jessica Dayne, and this is my partner
Officer John Patrick. We'll be escorting you to your interview with your
ex-husband, but before we do there are some things we'd like to discuss
with you in private."

"Please call me Nicole," I insisted, smiling at both officers. "But if this
has something to do with Michael, I'd prefer to discuss it with my family
present."

"Very well Nicole," Officer Patrick began. "To begin with, your ex-husband
has been under investigation in the murder of another resident, so he's
under strict observation. The room you'll be meeting him in is like a
police interrogation room, complete with one way mirror, so if at any time
you feel threatened all you need to do is signal to myself or Det. Dayne
and this interview stops."

"Fair enough," I said, squeezing Joey's hand. "What else do I need to
know?"

"Well, your former mother in law is also here visiting Mr. Valente,"
Det. Dayne stated evenly, watching me closely, not missing the look that
passed between Joey and I. "She's requesting that she be allowed to watch
your session from inside the ante room. So far we've refused because we
wanted to clear it with you."

"She can watch if she wants, but I want JT there too," I said softly,
hoping that I wouldn't come to regret that decision. Det. Dayne nodded,
placing a phone call on her cell as she showed us inside.

"Yeah, Mrs. Dorough agreed to allow Mrs. Fatone to view the session, so
we're ready to start as soon as she'd brought upstairs," she said briskly,
her heavy Brooklyn accent making me grin. She spoke for a few more minutes
and then hung up, turning to me. "They're bringing him to the visiting room
now. Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," I replied nervously, turning to the guys and
kissing D hugging him tight. Joey rubbed my back, whispering encouragement
to me. I pulled away, looking at both of them for a second before I kissed
Joshua quickly before turning to Det. Dayne. "I-I'm ready."

She nodded, holding the door open for me to precede her out into the
hallway. She led me to an elevator, pressing the button for the third floor
while I tried not to hyperventilate at the thought of facing Michael again
after almost a year of being away from him. I almost jumped out of my skin
when Jessica put her hand on my shoulder, shivering violently as I tried to
calm down. Jessica looked at her partner over my shoulder and the two of
them shared a knowing look as I almost stumbled out into the corridor when
the elevator stopped on the correct floor.

"Nicole, are you sure you want to do this?" she asked kindly, stopping me
before I could walk into the room where I knew Michael sat waiting for
me. I managed a wobbly smile, nodding.

"I have to do this for my son," I said simply, squaring my shoulders. JT
grinned at me, obviously trying to make me laugh, but I was so petrified
that I just couldn't do it. They led me to a brightly colored door.

"Remember, if you need to stop just walk out of the room okay?" JT said as
he hugged me. I clung to him for a moment, but let him go, turning to the
door again. I drew one last calming breath and then twisted the knob,
entering the room where Michael sat with his back to the door.

"Hello Princess," he said softly, wheeling himself around to face me. The
cold look in his eyes belied the soft tone he'd used, but I knew I couldn't
back out of this now. "I've been waiting for you to show your face since I
got here. Now what the fuck do you want, you whore?"

"I-I just wanted t-to ask y-you if you knew w-where my son is Michael," I
stammered, sinking into the chair that had been left in there. The smile he
gave me sent shivers down my spine.

"Like I give a flyin' fuck where your brat is," he said, eyes
flashing. "You and my so-called brother fucked and made those little
bastards, so find them yourselves."

"Michael please," I begged, going to stand in front of him. "If you ever
loved me, tell me where CJ is."

He burst out laughing, but there was no humor in the sound. "You gotta be
shitting me! Like I could ever love your stupid ass. You were nothing but a
convenient piece of ass to me, you stupid nigger bitch. But you did give
some of the best head I've ever had. Of course, Joey had you first, but
that was part of the thrill. Knowing I was turning you into my personal
whore and punching bag almost made knowing that my brother would eventually
take you back worth having to put up with your constant whining all those
years."

I moved away from him, my hands covering my face. "W-why do you h-hate me
so much? What d-did I ever do to you?"

"You stole Joey from me, you stupid cunt!" he shouted, making me jump
again. I backed away from him, trying to avoid the hatred he was spewing,
but he wheeled himself at me. "You were a worthless bitch, but I took you
because I knew Joey would eventually come sniffing around again. He
couldn't get enough of that hot black pussy, could he? And you gave it to
him anytime he wanted, didn't you? Just like the fucking slut I always knew
you were. Then you got knocked up with those little bastards and you were
gonna try to pass them off as mine... but I knew. I'd never have had a baby
with you."

"Is that why you tried to kill me the night I told you I was pregnant?" I
asked, tears starting to fall slowly.

"I didn't want to kill you... just the little bastards in your belly," he
replied, voice as cold as ice. "I enjoyed fucking you too much to kill
you... especially knowing that as soon as Joey showed his face in Chicago,
he'd be fucking you too. It was fun at first, getting to taste him on
you... knowing we were both using you for the exact same things. But
eventually I decided that you weren't good enough for either of us, so I
decided to gut you like the worthless pig you are."

I backed into the corner, almost cowering as he spilled his
venom... helpless to turn away or to block him out. He kept coming, his
voice taking on a lulling quality, like a snake charming a bird before it
strikes.

"You remember that night baby? Remember how hard you screamed... how you
begged me to stop... to let you up from the bed because it hurt so much?
Remember how your flesh tore open under my knife when I cut into you? I
do. I remember every single second of it because I enjoyed the way you
squealed, trying your best to get away from me. But you'll never really be
free of me Nikki. I won't let you."

I pushed him away from me, groping blindly for the door as he
laughed. "Awww don't go Princess... I was just getting started!"

His laughter followed me out the door where JT was waiting for me, holding
me as I shivered violently; my mind too shocked to cry anymore as I relived
all the moments Michael had spoken of. Det. Dayne steered us toward the
elevators, her face showing how furious she was about the things that
Michael had said to me. I felt a hand touch my back and recoiled, almost
knocking JT over in my desperate haste to get away from that hand.

"It's okay Nicole... it's only me," Officer Taylor said softly, staring
into my face. "She's going into shock. Maybe one of the doctors could give
her something."

"N-n-no," I stammered, teeth chattering. "J-J-JT, t-tell t-t-them-m."

"She's pregnant... no drugs," he said over my head as we all boarded the
elevator together, the three of them forming a solid barrier around me.

"They'll just give her a mild sedative," Det. Dayne said, frowning at the
way my face had become pinched. "Nicole, the doctor's know what they're
doing. I know they can give you something that will be safe for your baby,
and you're going to need it if you even hope to sleep tonight."

I didn't respond verbally, just nodded my head. Jessica opened her phone
again, making another quick call and then punching a button for the second
floor. She made another call, telling the officer on the other end to have
my husband and brother in law meet us at the elevators on the second
floor. When the doors opened, Howie and Joey were already there waiting,
wearing matching expressions of fury when they saw how shaken I was.

"What the hell happened to my wife?" Howie shouted, making me shrink back
against JT. He reached for me, his voice soft and gentle. "It's just me
mija... I'm not going to hurt you. What happened?"

"Michael happened," JT replied, easing me into Howie's waiting arms. "He
really did a fucking job on her ..."

"I told you this was a bad fucking idea!" Joey snapped, handing Joshua to
JT and turning me to face him. "Kick? Kick look at me. It's Tony
babe... come on. We need you to come back to us."

"T-Tony?" I said, confused. "M-Michael said... he's gonna... the
babies... I... no... please, no more."

"Hi I'm Dr. Ramirez," a short Latina said behind us, her eyes coming
immediately to my face and she frowned at what she saw. "Let's get her in
here and lie her down. Is she on any medications?"

"No, but she is pregnant," D replied, holding a sleeping
Joshua. Dr. Ramirez nodded, pulling out a hypodermic needle and vial. She
hurriedly swabbed my arm, injecting me before I could protest.

"This is the lowest dosage of sedative I could give her and still have it
be effective," she explained, patting my arm. "I want you all to take her
home and make sure she stays in bed for at least the next twenty-four
hours. No unnecessary walking, no strenuous activity. I don't want her to
miscarry this baby."

"She might miscarry?" D asked, his face draining of all color as he held my
hand.

"I hate to say yes, but her body is under an intense amount of stress, so
it is a possibility. Just follow my directions, and if she experiences any
spotting or cramping, take her directly to the nearest hospital," she
replied looking down at her pager. "If there's nothing else, I have to see
another patient."

Whatever she'd given me was starting to kick in. I finally feel myself
relaxing, and I didn't hear much beyond that. I felt myself being lifted in
a pair of strong arms and being carried out to the waiting SUV's. Joey
kissed me on my forehead, handing Joshua to Howie and whispering something
to him before he walked back into the hospital just as the cars pulled away
from the curb.

// 15 Minutes Later - Liberty Springs Waiting Room //

--- Phyllis' POV ---

I am so disgusted with Michael for the way he acted this evening.  I had no
idea that his attitude and demeanor towards Nikki was so vulgar.  I'm so
ashamed of him I don't know what to do.  God... to think I treated Nikki so
badly because I believed the things he said.  I listened to every one of
his lies, believed him whole-heartedly.  Because of the lies he fed me I
told her I didn't love her and she was like my own child. I should have
trusted my own instincts about her and not listened to the garbage that
person told me.  Please Lord; forgive me for what I said to her.  I was
such a fool to believe that she was a bad wife to him.  I just can't
believe the things he said to her and the way he acted towards her just
now.

"What happened ma?"  My son asks, walking into the waiting area where I was
sitting.  "Why are you crying?"

"I did something wrong and I don't know if I'll be forgiven or not," I tell
him, not meeting his eyes.

"What did you do ma?"  He asks, sitting next to me.

"I hurt Nikki, I hurt her badly.  I said all those terrible things to her,"
I replied, as Joey grabs my hand, holding it in his own.  "I was so mean
and cruel to her... and she didn't deserve any of it!  I don't know if I
can ever forgive myself for the way I treated her."

"Why the change of heart ma?"  He asks, his eyes locked on me like he was
burning holes into my skin.

"He treated her so badly.  He talked to her like she was trash.  Every word
out of his mouth was so rude and hateful.  What am I going to do?"  I ask
him as he looks at me for a moment and then drapes his arm across my
shoulder.

"Ma I tried to tell you he was lying.  He treated her like crap and tried
on many occasions to kill her.  If it wasn't for JT he would have succeeded
the last time," he replied gently, hugging me.

"What actually happened?  I want to know all the stuff he did," I say to
him, shaking my head, not wanting to believe that the young man I took into
my home, my heart was the evil man that everyone was telling me he was, but
the proof was in those ten minutes he spent terrorizing Nikki.

"Ma I don't think we have that much time to talk about everything he's
done," he says, as I start crying in his arms.

"Where did I go wrong with him?  I did everything the books said.  I showed
him the love I thought he needed.  Why?  Why is he like this?"  I ask him.

"I don't know ma. I don't have those answers," he replied, frowning at me.

"So what Nikki says about him loving you, she was telling the truth?"  I
ask him, not really wanting to hear the answer.

"Yeah ma, it's true.  Mike has a strange obsession with wanting to be with
me sexually," he replied softly, looking away from me.

"Don't look away from me like that.  Why can't you look at me son?"  I ask
him.  "Is it because of the way I acted towards her earlier?"

"A little bit.  I love her and I always will.  It hurt me when you said all
those nasty things to her," he replied, still not looking at me.

"There's something more to that Joe.  Talk to me son.  Why are you..." I
ask him as he gets up quickly.

"You don't love me Ma," he says, tears escaping his eyes that he tries to
hide it from me.

"What?  Are you out of your ever-loving mind?  Son of course I love you."
I tell him, walking over to him and hugging him.

"Really?  It doesn't feel like you love me," he retorted, pulling away from
me.  "How am I supposed to know if you love me or not Ma?  All you ever did
was beat on Steve and me.  You never beat Michael like that."

"I...I know Joe.  I know I did wrong by you and Steve.  I was only..." I
say as he pulls away from me again.

"No Ma!  I know what you're gonna say!  That's not love and it never will
be!" he says, sitting back down, covering his eyes.

"Joe please listen...I...I was young and I was only...I was wrong Joe," I
tell him as he sniffles and looks at me.  "I was wrong.  I never should
have done the things I did to you and Steve."

"It's too late now ma.  Look at me!  Look at me ma!  Was I supposed to turn
out like this?"  He asks me as I look at him curiously.

"Turn out like what son?"  I ask him, not understanding what he means.

"Turn out like this," he replies, standing up in front of me.  "Turn out to
be a guy that can't make up his mind about what he wants.  Ma because of
you, I...I don't know how to trust my heart."

"Son..." I start to say, but he interrupts me.

"No Ma, you need to listen to me now," he says, crossing his arms over his
chest.  "I love Nikki with all of my being.  I have always loved her, but I
couldn't stay with her because I felt like I had to get away from you.  All
I ever did was run from person to person Ma.  Because of you...because of
you, I got myself into situations I shouldn't have been in, all because I
was running.  For the first time in I don't know how long, I feel love.
It's not because of you, it's not Janine, Steve and it sure isn't Mike.
It's because of Nikki.  For a long time I thought that love was abusive and
painful.  She taught me that love doesn't have to hurt."

"Son I didn't..." I start again as he holds up his hand.

"No ma, I'm not done," he says, holding up a hand to silence me.  "Did you
know that after I left home, I got involved with a man that use to beat me
and treat me just as bad as you used to treat me?  I got involved with him
thinking that he loved me, but he only used the love I had to cause me more
hurt and pain.  Because of you, I thought what he was doing to me was love.
That man used and abused me for a long time and it took Nikki and Josh to
get me away from him."

"Oh my, God son...I'm so..." I say, my tears coming faster now.

I didn't know what to say to all I was hearing.  I had no idea that I was
this terrible to my children.  Oh God please forgive me for all I have
done.  I ran all my children away and ruined their lives.  How can I ever
face them again?

"And what about your precious angel Michael?  Why didn't you believe us Ma?
We all told you that he was bad, and we told you he was evil.  Why didn't
you believe us?"  He asks me.  "When Janine told you that he was touching
her, why didn't you believe her?  What reason did she have to lie on him?"

"None... none at all," I say, as I blow my nose in my handkerchief.

"Why didn't you see this ma?  Why didn't you see all the things he was
doing?  Did you ever know that he use to go into Steve's room at night and
beat him up in his sleep?  Did you know that he used to steal money from Pa
to go score drugs?  Did you?"  He asks me as I look at him in shock; not
knowing any of this stuff was really going on.

"I guess I didn't want to see son.  Can you...can you ever forgive me?"  I
ask him, opening my arms, hoping he would accept me, but he turned away
from me.

"No ma, no!  I can't forgive you...not right now.  You have hurt too many
people that I love.  You've hurt me, Steve, Josh and Nikki.  I love them! I
love them and you treated them like trash you just throw away.  How can you
call yourself my mother and do us that way?"  He asks me, his words biting
at my very soul.

"Joseph please...please don't say those things.  I was a young mother.  I
thought I had to do those things to keep you all in line," I tell him.
"That's how I was brought up..."

"Yeah I guess that's just history repeating itself," he says angrily,
walking away.  "I still love you Ma, but I'm ashamed to call you my mother.
I can't, no I won't forgive you now.  You have to show me, show all the
people you've hurt some kind of remorse.  Until then, I just can't do it."

"Jo...Joseph please...I'm so sorreeeee."  I say, falling to my knees in the
waiting room, crying as the doors swung back and forth as he walks out of
the room... and possibly out of my life for good.

// A Few Hours Later... Hotel Soffitel //

Joey got back to the hotel and headed straight for the room Nikki and Howie
were using, wanting, no needing to make sure she was okay. He had a pretty
good idea of some of the things Michael had said to her, and based on how
shaken she was when she'd come downstairs, he knew she would be needing him
and Howie to stay with her that night. He knocked on their door, turning
the knob and entering when Howie called out for him to come in.

"How is she?" he asked softly, not wanting to disturb her while she
slept. Howie put Joshua down, kissing the baby tenderly before going to
face his father.

"She's sleeping for right now... but I don't know how long this is gonna
last," Howie replied, sitting on the bed next to his wife. "I got a feeling
that the dreams will be bad tonight."

"What dreams?" Joey asked, concerned for the woman sleeping peacefully on
the bed. Howie sat up, patting the spot next to him on the bed.  Joey made
himself comfortable, waiting patiently for Howie to explain.

"Joe, she still has nightmares about Michael," he replied, his hand resting
on her shoulder. "Most nights she sleeps perfectly well, but then outta
nowhere BAM! She wakes up screaming, begging him not to hurt her
anymore. All I can do is hold her and try to make her safe... but it
doesn't always help."

"Oh God D... this is my fault!" Joey said softly, his eyes sad. "I knew he
was beating her, but I couldn't convince her to leave him. I even offered
to bring her to my house in Orlando, but she flat out refused. She told me
not to worry about her... that she would be okay. The next time I saw her,
she was in intensive care because Michael had done that," indicating the
jagged scar barely visible under her nightgown, "to her back. I shoulda
made her leave him!"

"Joe, you know as well as I do how stubborn my wife is," Howie said,
smiling at his friend. "Even if you'd gotten her out, chances are she just
would have gone back, because she truly loved him."

"No I didn't," Nikki said softly, looking up at the two of them.

"You're awake," Joey said, kissing her lightly on the cheek. Her eyes were
still glazed, but she seemed almost normal. "Are you okay?"

"No... but maybe one day I will be," she replied sleepily. She looked at
Joey, and then Howie, her smile gentle. "I never really loved Michel
Tony. I only stayed with him because I thought you didn't want me... and I
didn't think I deserved better than him. And being with Michael was the
only thing that kept me close to you."

"I'm so sorry Nikki," Joey said, kissing her again. "If you had never met
me, none of this would have happened to you."

"But I wouldn't have JC and CJ either," Nikki retorted. "Everything happens
for a reason Anthony. I'll get through this, and we'll go on with our lives
just as soon as we get our boy back. So no more blaming yourself for what
that asshole did. It was no more your fault than it was Mama Phyllis'." She
yawned widely, stretching as she did. "Where did you go earlier?"

"I finally talked to Ma and told her how I felt," Joey replied. "And for
the first time in a long time, I think she really listened. And I think she
finally opened her eyes about just how fucked up Mike really is."

"Only cause she saw it with her own eyes," Howie said bitterly, lying down
beside his wife. "If she hadn't seen just how fucked up Michael treats
Nikki for herself, she would have spent the rest of her life hating my wife
for no reason."

"No more anger Sweet D," Nikki said, her voice faint. Soon she had drifted
back to sleep, held secure in Howie's arms. Joey suddenly felt
uncomfortable, like he was intruding on them, so he got up to leave, but
Howie's hand on his arm stopped him.

"You don't have to leave Joe," he stated, his eyes shining oddly. "I think
she'd want you here too. So stay with us."

Joey nodded, stripping down to his underwear and climbing on the bed on the
other side of Nikki's soundly sleeping form. He cuddled into her, his arm
wrapping around her and Howie, as he got comfortable. He turned the lamp on
low, casting a warm glow over the three of them as they tried to find some
kind of peace in each other's arms.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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