Date: Sat, 06 Jan 2001 16:16:29 -0500
From: Gabriella Morrison <sweetheart_stories@hotmail.com>
Subject: My Surprise Romance 49/part 2

Hi y'all...

Here's Part 2 of Chapter 49--sorry it was divided into two parts, but I
thought it was necessary....this one's been on my site for awhile already,
so some of you may have read it already....so...enjoy =)

Usual standards and disclaimers apply....thanks you to everyone who sent me
feedback on part 1. If you have anything to say at all (good or bad...I
really don't care if you have evil hate mail--I still want it), the email
to send it to is sweetheart_stories@hotmail.com.

And, oh yeah (shameless plug here) my website with lots of JC/Lance stories
as well: http://www.freespeech.org/gabriella

And now...boy that was short, huh?


My Surprise Romance

Chapter 49

Part 2

Closure

Copyright 2001 Gabriella Morrison


"Stephen!!! Lance!!! Wake up, wake up!!!"

The shrill sound of a young girl's voice was the first thing to cut into
the depths of my sleep. It had been a semi-peaceful sleep, filled with a
rather pleasant dream of Lance and I getting married, while Cynthia stood
in back of me, wearing a bridesmaid dress. Tears ran down her face until
she began to resemble Tammy Faye Baker.

My eyelids slowly began to open, only to find Natalie, jumping up and down
on top of the bed Lance and I were lying in. She was a ball of 11 year old
exuberance, her blonde hair flying around her face as she continued to
bounce up and down on our bed, yelling our names at the top of her lungs.

`Thank God Lance and I aren't naked,' I thought as I managed to pull myself
into a sitting position, smiling groggily at Natalie.

"Morning, sis," I greeted her as I tried to stifle a yawn. "Let me
guess--are you excited?"

"Yup!" she answered, the grin on her face as wide as Texas. "*Very*
excited...now only if Lance would wake up, we'd be in business." A
disappointed grin overtook the excited one on her face. She stopped
bouncing up and down on the bed and kneeled in between Lance and I, looking
at him intensely as though that would wake him up.  I was surprised that
Natalie's jumping up and down hadn't waken Lance up, since he's such a
light sleeper. And then I looked back at Natalie.

"'We'd be in business?'" I repeated in surprise. "Where'd you pick that
phrase up from?"

"Cynthia says it all the time," Natalie said knowingly, her eyes still
focused on Lance. I turned my head, so that Nat wouldn't see the way my
eyes nearly rolled in the back of my head. `Great', I thought. `First, she
picks up Cynthia's phrases, next thing you'll know, she'll be playing the
guitar and singing PJ Harvey covers for the school talent show.' Still, I
couldn't be too upset. Despite the big mouth she possessed, Cynthia was a
pretty good female influence for my sister...

"Hey, I have an idea," I said, lowering my voice, so I wouldn't wake my
boyfriend up. Beckoning Natalie towards me, a plan began to form in my
mind. "Come here..." I began to whisper into her ear, her eyes lighting up
at the words I had just spoken. Seconds later, Natalie with her small
hands, was tickling my boyfriends's sides, causing him to wake up with a
jolt.

"Stephen!" he exclaimed, his eyes still closed with sleep as laughter began
to break from his lips. "Oh My God...stop it! I swear, if you don't, I am
giving you a spanking you'll never forget--" Just then, his eyelids flew
open, revealing those wonderful green depths that I had fallen so deeply in
love with. A look of embarrassment flashed across his face once he saw that
the tickler was not me, but in fact, was my little sister.

"Oh...Natalie," he breathed, as my sister withdrew her hands from his
body. "Morning sweetie...um..." He was at a loss for words, slightly
mortified by the words he had just spoken. "*Morning*"

"Good morning, Lance," Natalie giggled, not even phased by what he had
said. I guess when you're eleven years old, your mind doesn't automatically
think of spankings as a source of sexual pleasure... "It's about time you
woke up!"

"Yeah," he said, a little groggy as he blinked his eyes a couple of times,
trying to rid the sleep from them.  A few seconds later, Lance had waken up
and pulled my sister into his lap. "So, what time do you want to go out
today, Nat?"

Her blue eyes lit up as soon as Lance said that. "How about right now?" she
asked excitedly, wriggling in his arms like a puppy dog. I couldn't help
but smile at how the two of them looked... `He'd make a great father," I
thought with satisfaction. And then I stopped myself. What the hell was I
thinking...Lance...a father? Immediately, I felt guilty for even jumping
the gun on a thought like that.

Trying to clear my mind, I looked over at the clock and saw that it was
only ten a.m. "Nat," I said, trying to sound sensible. "I don't even think
the Funzone is open now...why don't you go downstairs and have a bowl of
cereal or something...okay?" Sticking her lower lip out, Natalie's unhappy
pout didn't change my mind. "Come on, sweetie," I said, lifting her out of
my boyfriend's lap, allowing her to plant her feet on the floor. "Go
downstairs while Lance and I get ourselves ready..."

"I *can't*," she said with a sigh. "Cynthia is passed out on the kitchen
table...what am I supposed to do? Eat my cereal on top of her?" Groaning
inwardly, I just rested my head in my hands. `Hey, at least she had made it
home safely', the voice in my head spoke up. `Even if she thought the best
place to crash was where everyone eats dinner...'

"Hey Nat," Lance said, as he crawled out of the bed. "Why don't you go get
your Aunt and Uncle and see if they can get Cynthia off the table..." I
looked at him and could tell that he was trying his damnest not to laugh at
the situation. Only Cynthia could pass out on the kitchen table.

"Okay," she agreed, before leaning over to give me a quick kiss on the
cheek. "You know what, Stephen? I'm *really* glad you're back home..." And
with that, Natalie flew out of our bedroom, pounding down the hallway to
find Florence and George. "Aunt Florence? Uncle George?"

"She's a handful," Lance laughed as we listened to the sound of my sister
yelling. "But she's cute......" Looking over at me, I noticed a soft look
appear in Lance's eyes as he stared into my eyes. "And so are you." And
with those words, I felt as my boyfriend placed a soft kiss on my lips,
causing a thrill to shoot throughout my body.

"Morning, brownie," I teased him once we parted. Reaching up, I ran my hand
through his darkened hair and smiled. "Have a good sleep?"

"As long as I'm next to you--yes," Lance answered, as he placed another
kiss on my lips. "And thanks for having Natalie tickle me. What kind of
boyfriend are you? Putting me through torture like that!" he exclaimed in
mock anger.

"Oh shut up," I laughed as he rested his head on my bare shoulder, before
looking back up at him with puppy dog eyes of my own. "And give me my
spanking. You promised me a spanking I'll never forget."

His eyes lit up at my words, as a sexy grin formed on his lips. "Later," he
promised cooly, placing another finger on my lips, before giving me another
one of his boyish smiles. "And I promise you, it'll be worth the wait." And
then he kissed me again and suddenly, every inch of my body couldn't wait
for later to roll around.





Lance, Natalie and I arrived at the Funzone about three hours later. It
reminiscent of a Chuck E Cheese type of place, filled with arcade games and
those weird mechanical animals that sing and move. Sure it seemed tacky now
that I looked at it with an adult eye, but, if I remembered back when I was
eleven years old, I used to *love* places like this.

We stood there for a few seconds, until Natalie spotted lane after lane of
skeeball "Oooh!" she exclaimed happily. "Skeeball!" My sister began to run
off in the direction of the games, but I managed to grab the collar of her
t-shirt just in time.

"Hold it there, Miss Peterson!" I exclaimed, as I pulled her back towards
where Lance and I were standing. "One second..." My little sister turned
back to me, a disappointed look on her face.

"Awww, Stephen..." she began, but I held my hand up halting her words. I
loved my sister, but I *knew* how she got in places like this back
home. She acted like a prisoner just let out of jail, running frantically
from game to game, trying to cram as much fun into one afternoon as she
could. It wasn't that I didn't want her to have a good time, but I wanted
her to stay safe as well.

"Nat, I don't care what you play, but me and Lance are following you
around--I *am* not losing you in a place like this---I care way too much to
lose you," I explained, kneeling down so that I met Nat at eye
level. "Okay?"

"Yeah," she agreed simply, smiling at Lance and I. "After all, it's not
everyday that I can say I hung around with a member of *NSYNC, right?"

"Shhhh!" Lance and I shushed in unison. I clamped a hand over my sisters
mouth and she looked at me in surprise. Although the place was still
half-empty (it had just opened about fifteen minutes ago and already kids
were coming in), we couldn't chance anyone seeing us. It was a risk that
Lance even came here with us (after all, it had been his idea). But soon
enough, this place would be crawling with kids Natalie's age--*NSYNC's core
audience--and if they saw Lance? Forget it. He'd never make it out of the
place alive. Sure his hair was dark, chestnut brown in color and he was
wearing wire rimmed fake glasses, but he *still* looked like Lance from
*NSYNC if you looked close enough. It was impossible for him to change just
like *that* overnight.

"Okay, okay," Natalie muttered, as I removed my hand from her mouth. "I
won't say a word. In fact, if anyone asks who you are, I'll say you're my
cousin Floyd from Pennsylvania...."

"Floyd?" Lance asked interestedly, smiling at the name. "Do you have a
cousin Floyd?"

"Yes," Natalie and I both answered, trying not to laugh at the thought of
our third cousin.

"He's a big dork," Natalie tossed off as she led us to the token
machine. "His pants are always too short and he's always sneezing..." She
rolled her eyes in preteen annoyance at the thought. "Such a geek."

"And I'm honored that you equated me with him," Lance grinned as we reached
the token machine. He leaned closer to read the cost of the tokens and
before I could say anything, Lance pulled out his wallet and stuck a twenty
dollar bill in the machine.

"Lance!" Natalie exclaimed, before slapping her hand over her mouth. "I,
uh, I mean, Floyd! What are you doing?"

"Paying your way this afternoon, Miss Peterson," Lance said graciously as a
landslide of coins slid noisily out of the machine.  Motioning towards the
sliver Funzone tokens, Lance gently nudged Natalie towards them. "It's my
treat--go wild."

She stared at my boyfriend as though he had grown another arm, before she
shook herself out of her daze. "Really?" she exclaimed, as she began to
grab the coins out of the slot. "Wow! Thanks, Floyd!" Laughing out loud at
my boyfriend's alias for the day, I just shook my head as Natalie grabbed
onto my hand and pulled me in the direction of the skeeball. I looked back
at Lance who just gave me an exuberant grin, while he followed in back of
us. *This* afternoon was going to be fun.





"Whoa, Nat--" Lance said as he watched my little sister play the Mole
whacker game for what had to be the sixtieth time that day. "You're one
mean, little whacking machine there, aren't you?" We watched as my little
sister, pounded the crap out of the pop-up moles, hitting them so that they
fell back into their slots.

"Yeah," she breathed, her total concentration fixated on which mole would
pop up next. I looked at Lance, while Natalie strategized and mouthed a
silent, `Thank You' to him. He just shook his head, and pointed to my
sister, who was the perfect picture of intensity, as she held the mallet in
her hands, her tongue sticking out between her teeth in concentration.

One last mole popped up and Natalie hit it directly on its head, causing a
bunch of bells and alarms to go off in the backboard of the game, while a
steady stream of tickets spooled out of the ticket slot.

"Wow, Natalie!" Lance exclaimed, impressed as we watched the neverending
stream of tickets hit the floor. "I don't think I've ever seen that
many..."

"Yeah," Natalie said, crossing her arms over her chest as a self satisfied
smirk formed on her lips. "I'm good, what can I say?" Lance and I laughed
at how tough my little sister sounded, as the tickets finally stopped
coming out. She ripped them off and handed them to me. I had been keeping
all of them in the pockets of my pants and because of that, I now looked
like I had one gigantic hip.

I looked around as Natalie pulled Lance and I back in the direction of the
video games and I couldn't help but *smile*. My little sister was having
the time of her life, and I could admit it--so was I. I loved seeing my
sister so happy, especially after all of the pain we had gone through in
the last month or so. I was glad that she was bouncing back, even though
Aunt Florence had told me earlier that Natalie was seeing a psychiatrist
twice a week to help her cope with her loss.

`Poor kid,' I thought to myself as I watched Natalie and Lance double up on
one of those Kung Fu video games. `She's only 11 and she's gone through so
much crap...' On the bright side however, she seemed perfectly comfortable
with the idea of my sexuality and the fact that I had a boyfriend. That
didn't seem to bother her one bit.

"Come on, Floyd!!" Natalie exclaimed as her video game character pummeled
Lance's. "I thought you guys liked video games! It says so in every article
I've read about you guys!"

"I'm trying! I'm trying!" he exclaimed frantically, as he moved the
joystick around with one hand and hit a red button with another. Suddenly,
the game made a rude nose, and crackled, "Game Over--Player one wins!"

Natalie raised her arms victoriously up in the air. "Yeah!" she exclaimed
as Lance gave her a mock look of anger. "Beat that *Floyd*!!!"  `She was a
good faker', I thought approvingly as Lance challenged her to another
round. Tokens were dropped into the slot as the two began another round of
Kung Fu Fighting, except this time, I couldn't keep my mind off of Lance.

`He was wonderful', I thought, a smile drifting over my features as I just
stood there and watched him. `Just wonderful.'How many guys would put up
with their boyfriend's little sister?? Watching him laugh and kibitz with
Natalie, Lance reminded me of a kid let loose in a candy store. His
chartreuse eyes were aglow as he and Natalie laughed over the way she was
kicking his ass, and the look on his face wasn't one of forced
happiness--it was one of pure joy. He wasn't faking. Lance was great....and
suddenly it was hard for me to believe that in a few days, he'd have to go
back to his life as a member of *NSYNC. And that hurt the most...

Lance and I had been spoiled. We had all this downtime to let out hair down
and just let loose. Waking up late and staying out until the sun
rose. Drinking and having a good time. And I'm not even mentioning the sex,
because that was just...I can't even describe how good that was. *This* was
heaven. I had finally reached heaven....and the icing on the cake was that
Lance loved me, and I loved him right back. That was better than everything
we had gone through...

Sure we had hit a few rough patches, but what couples didn't? It was almost
as though the death of my mother and the unacceptance (at first) from
Lance's sister were tests, just to see how strong the two of us were. To
see if we would stay together--and we had. We grew even closer during those
crisis and no matter what would happen to Lance and I, I knew that I'd
never, ever forget it...

"I won!" Lance yelled out loud, throwing his hands up. "Woo-hoo! Beat that,
Miss Peterson!" he laughed. A huge grin came across Natalie's face as she
shook hands with him, and then turned to face me.

"Stephen?" she asked, walking over to me. "Can we go and see what prizes I
can get with all of my tickets?" She pointed to my pocket, which was
overflowing with tickets, and I nodded in approval.

"Yup," I answered, as I watched her eyes droop a little. "Tired of this
place?" I asked Natalie and watched as her blonde head bobbed up and down.

"A little--I think I've played everything in here about ten times...I'm
ready to split..." she sighed, looking a little unhappy as she thought of
our day ending. Noticing my sisters sad face, Lance kneeled down and
grabbed onto her shoulder, looking Natalie squarely in the eye.

"Hey, Nat..." he began slowly, grinning as he spoke. "I don't know how much
you like my ideas...but...do you like ice cream?"

Once again, my sisters eyes lit up brighter than the lights on a Christmas
tree as the tired look on her face disappeared. "I *love* ice cream! Mmmm,"
she said, closing her eyes at the thought. "I love it!"

"Well," Lance paused thoughtfully. "How about if we find some place that
serves ice cream, okay? We'll go get some and that'll round out our
afternoon--my treat?" And with that, he stuck out his hand, waiting for
Natalie to shake.

"Deal," she said, shaking his hand to seal it. "Thanks, Floyd," she added
slyly as we headed off to the ticket counter.

As we walked to the counter, Natalie suddenly spun around to face us. "You
know, you're *much* cooler than our regular cousin." Tilting her head
upwards so that she could look at Lance, a optimistic look appeared in her
beautiful blue eyes. "Can you switch places with him?" Natalie asked him
hopefully, while latching onto his hand. Looking at each other, Lance and I
did the only thing we could think of at that moment--we laughed.




"Mmmm, butter pecan," Lance murmured as he lifted the spoon to his
mouth. "Love it..." A soft look came into his eyes as a thought came to
mind. "Remember when I first fed you ice cream?" he asked me, his voice
quiet with the memory as he pretended to watch Natalie play on the monkey
bars.

In searching for an ice cream parlor, Natalie had spotted the local park
where an ice cream man had set up his stand for the afternoon. So that's
where we chose to go. And it was peaceful. Kids were running around, not
paying the least bit of attention to the two of us sitting on the slightly
rusted park bench, while the sun set in back of us. As my mind shifted to
what Lance was talking about, I instead stumbled upon where I had taken
Lance after our initial meeting...the sculpture park, where we had first
kissed. He told me he thought he was falling for me...who would have
thought that day would have led to this?

"Not really," I admitted, my mind shifting back to when Lance's lips first
touched my own. I felt my heart begin to beat rapidly as my body went
through the motions of remembering that first kiss...

"Oh come on, Stephen," Lance laughed, kicking my foot with his, as though
that was going to jolt my memory. "In your kitchen--you were on the phone
with Cynthia...and I fed you a spoonful of vanilla ice cream..."

"Oh yeah," I suddenly remembered what Lance was talking about, as the
thought came back to the surface of my mind. "Now I remember...and then I
spit it out..."

"--Cause Cynthia said she was coming over--"

"--and I didn't find out until the day before--"

"--and then I called you my boyfriend." Lance's words were final. Softly
spoken, as the traces of the memory made me feel warm all over. I
remembered how shocked I had been when Lance had called me that...I had
never had a boyfriend. Hell, I had never even dated a member of the same
sex and here was the first person I had ever had serious feelings for and
he was calling me his boyfriend...

I hadn't freaked out at his proclamation, because it just *felt* right.

"Yeah," I murmured as I gave Lance a sheepish grin, while licking around
the edges of my ice cream cone. "So is that why you went with ice cream in
a bowl. To remind me of that?"

"Nah," Lance chuckled as he swirled the melting ice cream around with his
plastic spoon. "I just prefer it this way." We both laughed softly as our
gazes reverted back to Natalie, who had already lost interest in the monkey
bars and was now going to town on the swings.

"You have a great sister," Lance said, his voice still soft as he placed
another spoonful of ice cream in his mouth. "She's lots of fun, you
know..."

"Yeah," I said as I watched Natalie eye a boy about her age.  He was
standing in line at the slide, patiently waiting his turn. "And I think
Cynthia's rubbing off on her..." Lance and I watched as Natalie stared at
the boy until he must have felt her gaze burning into him. The boy then
walked over to where Natalie was sitting. They talked for a few minutes,
when Natalie suddenly gave the boy a rather flirtatious smile and then, he
walked in back of her and began to push her on the swing.

"Nice," Lance laughed gently as he watched how my sister had flirted with
the cute little boy. "And she's only eleven....geez...she's gonna have
loads of boyfriends..."

"Ugh," I moaned, as I began to work on the ice cream cone
itself. "Great. Now I have to worry about hooligan guy taking advantage of
my sister..."

"Nah," Lance remarked with a smile as he turned his head to look at me. "I
think she'll be able to handle them herself..." Smiling at that thought,
Lance and I turned our attention back to our food, but only for a brief
second. The thought that had been lingering on my mind all day, suddenly
came rushing out of my mouth.

"You'd make a great father," I said, immediately clamping my lips shut as I
said this. `Oh Lord', I thought silently as I felt a blush work its way
onto my face. `Did I just say that?' I must have, because when I dared to
look at Lance, he had a beautiful smile on his face. I can't even explain
the look that graced his face at that moment. His light green eyes shone
with happiness and pride at my suggestion.

"You think I would?" Lance asked, as he turned his attention back to
Natalie and the boy, who were now just talking and giggling with each
other. "You know, Stephen--I always dreamed of having kids one day...its
just that I don't think I can get you preggers..."

I shook my head at his comment. "Lance, come on...with modern medical
science these days?" I managed to keep a straight face until Lance rolled
his eyes at me. Then I broke down in a fit of giggles as I polished off the
rest of my cone, relieved that he hadn't been freaked out by what I said.

"Seriously though..." Lance began, a gentle smile on his lips. "Thanks for
the compliment..."

"Well, it was just that you did such a great job with Nat today," I
explained. "Most other guys would have freaked at the idea of hanging
around with their *boyfriend's* (I whispered that word so that only Lance
would hear it) sister..."

"Well, Stephen," Lance said, a cocky grin on his face, as he ran a hand
through his darkened hair. "It just happens that Natalie has the greatest
brother in the world...and I care about Nat. She's a sweetheart, not to
mention the fact that she's extremely accepting of us being together." I
smiled at his comment, while he continued to talk. "It's hard to dislike
any of you Petersons...even Cynthia..." He sighed helplessly. "Although,
sometimes I'm not too sure about her and Josh. They act like they've never
seen another member of the opposite sex when they get together..."

I laughed at his dead-on comment and folded my hands over my lap, nervous
at the thoughts that were running through my mind. I don't know what had
made me turn so serious at that moment, but I was. Maybe it was because
tomorrow, Lance and Josh would be heading on a plane to Los Angeles while
Natalie and I would be heading back to New York. I didn't want to be
separated from him. The thought kinda...scared me. And there were
questions..thoughts...inside of me that I needed to get off my chest.

"Lance?" I began softly, my heart thumping throughout my body, ringing in
my ears like tom-tom drums. "Could you see us together in the next five or
six years? Really?"

A pause filled the air between us. I was afraid of what Lance was about to
say. What if he said `no'. Or even worse, what if he laughed at me? But he
didn't do either of those things. Instead, he just looked at me, allowing
his fingertips to graze over my knuckles briefly, like he had done to me so
many times in the past. It was our little code whenever we couldn't hold
hands in public--a symbol of the closeness we felt...

"Of course, Stephen," Lance whispered, a genuine smile on his lips as we
forgot about the people surrounding us. "Of course I can...in fact, I think
about life with you once all of this madness with the band dies down..." He
shifted his body closer to mine, leaning his head towards me. If you were
an outsider, you'd say that Lance and I were whispering about Natalie and
her new "boyfriend", but in reality, our minds were completely on another
subject.

"In fact..." Lance murmured, his deep voice forming softly-spoken words. "I
even think about us getting married one day..." His eyes met mine, glancing
hopefully into mine as faint red spots appeared on the apples of his
cheeks. "I hope that didn't sound really dumb," Lance laughed nervously,
and I looked down at his hands, where he was restlessly stretching out his
fingers. I knew he was waiting for my answer...

"Not at all," I said, as my heart began to beat even faster in my ears. I
was surprised I could even hear my own words. I felt like the sky had
opened at that moment and a ray of sunlight was beaming down on us. "In
fact...I've thought about it to...going to Vermont or Hawaii, or wherever
the next state that allows marriages for us will be..." I allowed my words
to trail off, hoping that Lance didn't think I was taking it too
seriously. "Not now, of course--" I laughed anxiously. "But maybe in a
couple of years..."

"Exactly," Lance answered immediately, as his eyes lit up at the
prospect. "Whew..." He pretended to wipe an imaginary sheen of sweat off
his forehead. "I thought that maybe I was jumping the gun there...cause,
you know Stephen..." A beautiful smile radiated on his entire face. "I do
love you."

"I love you too Lance," I whispered, wishing that we weren't in a public
park, because the one thing my body ached to do at that moment was to kiss
him. To seal off this wonderful conversation that we had just had with a
kiss....but I knew I couldn't.

And like the marriage we had just spoken about, two words floated through
my head as Lance and I settled back on the bench, happy smiles on our faces
at the idea of our future together:

`One day....'




*Out of One World and Into Another...*


"Stephen?"

"Lance?" I said breathlessly into the telephone, as I sunk into a kitchen
chair, thankful that I had reached it in time before the answering machine
had picked up. "Is that you?"

"Of course it's me," my boyfriend laughed softly, the sound of his voice
radiating through the wires of the phone and sending shivers down my
spine. "Who else would it be? Santa Claus?"

I laughed at his comment and settled comfortably into the hard backed
kitchen chair. "Maybe. You never know..." I smiled at the next question
that popped into my mind. "So do you know if I've been naughty or nice?"

"Oh," Lance laughed, his voice dropping to a seductive
whisper. "Naughty...definitely naughty..." I closed my eyes at the tempting
tone of voice Lance had just used, and my body couldn't help but react to
it. It had been about six days since Lance and I had seen each other and
let me tell you--going from being held every night to sleeping alone was a
jolt of reality that I would have rather not had. Suffice to say, Lance had
gone back to his `job' and I...well, I was back at home, looking for a new
apartment to live in. Going back home had been tough for me, since the last
time I had stepped foot into it, Lance had been with me. Natalie had come
back briefly, to pack up the belongings in her room but then she had left
as quickly as she came, needing to get ready for her first day of sixth
grade back in Wisconsin. And now I was alone...strange noises creaked
throughout the house's foundation at night and once or twice I swore I saw
my mother standing there--in the kitchen, holding a box of herbal tea, or
sitting on the living room couch next to me as I watched a repeat of Lance
on `Who Wants to Be A Millionaire'. That's where my mom had known him from
and as I remembered how she reacted to seeing him in our kitchen, I
laughed. And then I cried. I'd only allow myself to cry for a few minutes
though--letting out pent up feeling of sadness and regret that I had tried
to hide. And then I'd stop and resume with life. It was normal to cry...and
to paraphrase an old Smiths song, "I am human and I need to be loved--just
like everyone else does."

And the person who loved me the most was hundreds of miles away, sitting in
the MTV studios, waiting to go on Total Request Live for the second day in
a row to talk about FreeLance Entertainment. During his break, his mom and
Stacey had taken care of business for him so that we'd have a little time
together, but now, all of the work was up to him. And I couldn't have been
prouder of my boyfriend for it. We had spoken the day before and he said he
was coming back to Ridgemont to help me pack up the house. He wanted to see
the new apartment I had chosen and he wanted to help me move into
it. Helping me move would mean that Lance would miss an opening at some
exclusive club that all the other guys were attending. It puzzled me why
he'd want to miss having a good time with the other guys just so that he
could help me sift through piles of old junk.

"Just wanted to call you before I had to go on," Lance said softly and as
he spoke, his voice cracked a little. He took a deep breath before rushing
on with his next words. "I miss you a lot..."

"I know," I said, clearing my throat so that it didn't sound all wavery. I
didn't want him to think that I sat around, crying all the time, because I
wasn't. I was sad, but I wasn't that much of a wreck. "I miss you too
Lance...you know I do." Still, I couldn't help but ask him the question
that I had asked everytime we spoke. "When are you coming back?"

"Tonight," Lance said, a sigh of relief in his voice. "I'm hopping on the
first flight right after the FreeLance finals...I told you I would." His
voice sounded tired. Was he angry? Oh God, I hoped he wasn't...

"Lance," I suddenly blurted out, tapping my fingers on the kitchen
counter. "You don't have to...really. You can go wherever you're supposed
to be and hang out with the guys and stuff. I won't mind."

Pause. And then a sigh. At first, I thought Lance was going to say,
`Great--I really didn't want to come and help you pack and stuff.' But he
didn't. Instead, he just made a clucking sound with his tongue.

"Stephen?" Lance finally said and could practically hear him smiling
through the telephone wires. "I cannot *wait* to come back home to you--you
know why?"

"Why?" I asked, trying to hide the smile out of my voice. I couldn't help
it. I was dying to see my boyfriend again. I missed him terribly. I missed
him being there with me. And I know how mushy and girly it sounds, but I
wanted to kiss him again. More than anything else in the world, I just
wanted to wrap my arms around him and hold him...after you become
accustomed to that feeling of holding the person you love all the time,
it's hard to get used to that emptiness.

"Because when I get home," Lance growled, bringing me back to life. "I'm
gonna kick your ass in for what you just said." His voice dropped a couple
of notches as he spoke his next words. "And then after I'm gonna kick it,
I'm gonna...well..." He allowed the words to hang seductively in the
air. "You *know* what I'm gonna do it it..."

`Lord', I thought as I felt my body begin to stir below my belt. `He's
doing this to me on purpose, he's doing this to me on purpose.'

`Thanks, Lance," I said dryly, trying to keep the excitement out of my
voice. "Thanks for saying that...just for it, you are *so* going to get it
when you come home."

"And you better keep that promise, Stephen," Lance drawled out and I could
just imagine the provocative smirk that appeared on his lips as he said
it. The image of my boyfriend with that come-hither look on his face just
drove me even more insane. "I gotta go now...I'll see you in a couple of
hours. You gonna watch me on tv?"

"Of course," I said as truthfully as I could, when all of a sudden, a dirty
thought came to mind. "And I'm gonna be naked the entire time." I swore I
heard Lance's jaw drop to the ground after I said that.

"WHAT?!?" Lance exclaimed, nearly shattering my eardrum in the
process. "Stephen...you know that's all I'm gonna think about now right?"

"Right," I laughed knowingly. "That was exactly my point...I'll see you
later, Lance. Have a good time--"

"Stephen," Lance interrupted, his voice urgent with sudden sexual
frustration. "Are you really gonna be naked the entire time?"

I smothered the laugh that wanted to escape my lips. "Hmmm," I said
mysteriously. "Well, you're just gonna have to come to my house and see,
won't you?" I grinned as I heard an annoyed grunt from the other side of
the telephone. "Good luck, Lance. Knock `em dead." And with that, I hung
the phone up and headed into the living room, to watch my boyfriend on
television-- fully clothed of course. I'd save the nudity for when Lance
got to my house...




"I hate you," Lance murmured into my hair as we lay in my bed. His arms
were wrapped around my bare waist, as I attempted to catch my breath from
the intimate acts that we had just engaged in. My whole body felt like it
was on fire as my head sank back into the pillows. The feel of Lance's body
lay comfortably next to mine, locking together like the perfect fitting
pieces to a puzzle. I could barely keep my eyes off of him. He was
beautiful...absolutely beautiful...I noted as the glow from the streetlight
outside of my bedroom seeped through the slits in the blinds that I had
forgotten to close. I didn't care though. That little bit of light allowed
me to see Lance while we did the things we did. I looked over his
features--the glowing eyes that took in my every move, the once-again
blonde spikes of hair (management hadn't been too crazy about his new look
and he had dyed his brown locks back), and the sturdy frame of his body,
covering my own as his lips placed kisses on my skin.

"Hate me?" I asked quietly, a bit confused by his harsh words. "Why?"

"Cause you made me a horny wreck the entire time I was in front of the
camera," Lance laughed gently as he began to trail his lips down my
cheek. "You mean you couldn't tell?" He pulled his lips off my face and
looked at me, eyes flashing humorously as I ran my hand down one of his
biceps.

"Nope," I said honestly, before grinning at him. "Except for the fact that
you kept your hand in your pants most of the time...you looked completely
calm and in control." I leaned over and kissed him, enjoying the way our
mouths met in a slow, leisurely kiss. I felt as his lips parted, allowing
my tongue to sneak in between...gently searching his mouth before the tips
of our tongues met...a sigh escaped my lips as we parted. Being with Lance
just felt *so* good...

"Yeah, trying to hide `it' from the general public, so I wouldn't get
arrested..." Lance giggled as he kissed my neck. "All because of you. I
just kept thinking of you naked..." Lance looked at me, a curious look in
his eyes as he ran a fingertip around one of my nipples. "So--I never did
ask you--"

"That's because you practically attacked me when you walked through the
front door," I said dryly, smiling at Lance so he knew I was kidding. I
closed my eyes at his touch, before they flew open once more. "Ask me
what?"

He grinned at me as his fingertip moved to my other nipple. "If you were
naked while you were watching the show. You were clothed when I came home,
but you could have been naked while you were watching it..." He raised his
eyebrows at me, waiting for my answer. "So...what is it? Naked or clothed?"

"Hmmm," I smiled at him, biting my bottom lip. "My secret." Reaching behind
me, Lance grabbed the pillow that my head was resting on and then proceeded
to smack me on the face with it.

"Tell me, Stephen!" Lance exclaimed as he continued to hit me with the
pillow, both of us giggling the entire time. "Tell me!"

"Clothed, clothed!" I yelled in defense as Lance finally stopped beating me
with the soft object. "I was clothed!" Throwing the pillow back down onto
the bed, Lance kneeled next to me. I watched as Lance's eyes looked down at
my naked form, his eyes traveling down the length of my body, while a
satisfied smile formed on his lips. I shivered under his gaze, and
instinctively, I reached out for Lance as he fell into my arms, our lips
meeting in hungry, passionate kisses as though we hadn't seen each other in
years. Lance just felt so good in my arms...he felt right...and as his lips
began to trail down my body...past my waist...I realized that there was
nothing more perfect that what we had.



"I haven't set foot in here since...well...since the day my mother found
us," I said softly as my eyes took in the sight of my mom's eerily empty
looking bedroom. I had put packing her room off until the very end. I had
to. I just couldn't do it.

"It was when I came after her and she yelled at me." I cringed momentarily
at the memory. It was one of the last conversations that we had...and it
also happened to be one of the worst.

Shaking my head, I stepped into the bedroom, the soles of my sneakers
firmly hitting the floor. Lance walked next to me, holding on to my hand
for support. I turned to him and smiled.

"You don't have to hold onto me, silly," I said lightly, as I ruffled his
hair. I was surprised how flippant I had managed to sound, because
inside--inside, I was dying. Walking into my mom's room had set off so many
odd memories. I could smell traces of the perfume she wore and if I closed
my eyes, I could practically hear her laughter. I wanted to remember the
good and not the bad and somehow my mind was succeeding in doing so.

I looked back at Lance, who was watching me with careful chartreuse eyes. I
could tell that he wanted to say something comforting, yet he didn't want
to set something off inside of me.

"You alright, Stephen?" Lance asked as he dropped a cardboard box next to
me. It was time to pack up her things. I decided that some of her stuff I
would keep in storage. Her jewelry I would give to Natalie for keepsakes,
while Cynthia would get her extensive collection of perfume. Her clothes I
would give to the Salvation Army and the mementos...well, those I would
keep with me at my new apartment. I never wanted to let go of those.

Silently, Lance and I began to sift thorough her belongings, placing them
in the appropriate boxes. I packed up her jewelry boxes, wrapping them in
bubble wrap and setting them in the boxes that would go to Wisconsin. I
realized that I should have just given them to Natalie when she had come
home with me, but I couldn't step foot into that room. I needed Lance for
that. The person who knew me and understood me better than anyone else.

When her closet and dressers were cleaned out, I looked over at Lance, who
was just standing there, his face expressionless as he was the one hauling
the boxes up and down the stairs for me. I could tell that this was a
little uncomfortable for him. To be getting rid of old memories like
this. But he was doing it. I would never be able to repay him for how he
was helping me...

I turned my attention to the last part of her bedroom. Her bed. And that
was the hardest of it all. My mind flashed back to when I was about three
years old. I'd lay on the bed with my mom, while she taught me the alphabet
and how to spell the family's last name. My father would walk in and just
stand in the doorway, watching us...Memories...I thought wistfully as I
pulled the pillows off her bed.

And then I saw it.

Lying underneath her pillow was a white envelope with my name printed on
it. It was in her handwriting. A chill ran down my spine as I picked it up
and looked at it.

I took a seat on the bed and ran my thumb under the sealed flap. Inside was
a sheet of blue-lined loose leaf paper, folded over a couple times. I
pulled the paper out of the envelope and opened it. It was a letter,
written in her excruciating neat script, and it was addressed to
me. According to the date, she had written this on the day she killed
herself. I felt tears begin to prick behind my eyelids as I began to read.



Dear Stephen,

I don't know how to begin this letter to you. After all, you're my
son. You've been my son for twenty-one years, so it should be easy. But
after what we've been through, I don't know how easy things will be...

Stephen, I want you to know that I still love you. I know we've had our
disagreements lately. We've fought in ways that no mother and son should
fight...looking back, I've come to realize how foolish I've been. As you
know I've been seeing a therapist and a minister, but it's not just because
of you. It's because of everything. I miss your father so much, and even
though he's died a long time ago, I just can't get over the fact that he's
gone.

I've also been seeing another doctor for my depression. I know I've never
told you about this, but Stephen...I haven't been feeling so well
lately. And the way you've been hiding things from me...I don't know what
I've done wrong. I feel like I've failed as a mother to you and that's the
last thing that I want to feel. I get angry at times Stephen. I still
do...in fact, I headed down to the lawyer the other day to revise the will,
but now I just feel horrible about it. I'm going back down tomorrow to fix
things to the way they should be.

I know I also said I've disowned you before you left for the *NSYNC tour
and that's not true. You know you'll always be my son--my one and only
Stephen William Peterson Junior. My baby (smile). I don't care if you're
gay. I'll admit that when I first found out about your sexuality, I
couldn't handle it. I look back and wonder how I couldn't have seen the
signs. But now...now, I don't care. You're still Stephen. My son. I just
want my son back. I miss you. Natalie misses you.

Please Stephen...come back home so we can talk. And if you can, bring Lance
with you as well. I'd love to get to know him better. I have to go take my
medication now, so I'm going to close up. Please forgive me for everything
I've said to you. I want to make our relationship work again.

I love you. Come home soon.

Love, Mom



I stared at the letter for what seemed to be forever and the tears ran down
my face as I read my mother's wonderful words over and over again. I could
barely breathe and my mind wasn't working right. She loved me. My mother
had still loved me...

And she didn't care about my sexuality.

And she wanted me to bring home Lance.

And I was still her son.

"Stephen?" I looked up as Lance stood in the doorway, a panicked look on
his face when he saw how I was crying hysterically (I didn't think I was
crying that bad, but later on, Lance said I could barely breathe as I
looked at him).

I couldn't speak. Instead, I just held the letter out for him to read. He
took it from me, his eyes moving over the words as a look of astonishment
appeared on his face. And by the end of it, he was crying as well. Falling
onto the bed next to me, Lance wrapped his arms around my neck , holding on
to me for dear life while I sobbed into his chest. I felt like a tremendous
weight had been lifted off of me, and I felt his lips brush against my
ear. I knew he wanted to say something, but he didn't need to. I *knew* how
he felt at that moment, because I felt the same way to.

Everything was going to be really, and truly alright...

Somewhere from up in the sky, my mother was smiling down at us....



Hope you liked it. Now onto part 3... =)
sweetheart_stories@hotmail.com

Thanks for reading!

Gabriella