Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2000 14:17:29 EDT
From: Garrett Sparks <xander874@hotmail.com>
Subject: Next Window Please - Chapter One: Now I'm left with all this pain

Okay, I have been actively reading these boy band stories for a while now
and absolutely love them; so, I had to jump in the fray with my own.  I
don't think this one is terribly original in many ways - it's a simple love
story.  This section has no real sex (sorry!) - I just need to set up the
tale a little first.  I'm a writer so I gotta have exposition.  This
section concentrates mainly on Lance (my fav) but I will slowly incorporate
the rest of NSYNC and maybe other boy bands.  Please be patient with this
and let me know if you have any suggestions or comments.  I really don't
know where this story will head - I do know it will be a love story between
two of the NSYNCers (Lance, obviously, and the other TBA).  So, please
enjoy.

I offer the normal warnings - you gotta be legal to read this.  You also
have to be open- minded.  I don't know any of the people mentioned in this
story (although I few I would love to know intimately!), and therefore,
don't know their sexual preferences.

I want to send a special thanks to nsyncgrrl (all I ever wanted and her
great website), whose stories I have had the distinct pleasure of reading
and who has inspired me to just write away.  Please send me any comments to

Xander874@hotmail.com.  I love to hear from people.
Enjoy!

Chapter One - Now I'm left with all this pain

	"I don't know what to say, James".
	Diane Bass sat down on the couch across from her son, "You know how I feel
about that.  I love you, son.  But, my beliefs tell me it's wrong.  I'm so
confused right now."
	Lance sighed, "I know it's a lot to digest mom.  I just had to tell you."
	Diane looked up, "Who else knows?"
	"You're the first person I've told."
	Suddenly, Diane got worried, "You're going to have to tell people, if you
insist on living this way.  The other boys, your management - oh my.  This
could ruin your career."
	Lance stood up, "I'm not planning on outing myself to the world.  I don't
care for them to know.  But, I do want those people close to me to know.  I
intend on telling
everyone.someday."
	"This is going to break your father's heart, James." Diane said solemnly.
	Lance walked over to the fireplace mantle and ran his fingers across a
picture of him and his dad, taken on a camping trip when Lance was eight, "I
know," was all he could say in reply.
	Lance went back to his mother and sat next to her.  He took her hand.  She
flinched slightly at his touch.  Lance felt slightly rejected, but calmed
down when she relaxed and accepted his hold.  They sat in silence for a
minute before the sound of Jim Bass' truck came roaring up the driveway.
Lance and his mother looked at each other.  He noted she appeared calm, but
underneath her eyes, he could tell she was petrified.  He gave her an
assured look, "It's now or never".
	Jim Bass, a spitting image of his only son, with a few more gray hairs and
a few extra pounds walked into the living room of his house and immediately
saw something was wrong.
	His wife appeared calm, but her eyes looked as if she was about to burst
into tears.  He looked to Lance who had stood up to greet him.
	"What's going on?" he asked as he hung up his jacket.  It was warm outside,
but he still felt a slight chill as Lance walked up to him and gave him a
hug.  Jim returned the hug and looked at his son.  He was about to get bad
news and the thought of it made his stomach turn.
	Lance backed away and just blurted out what was on his mind, "Dad, I'm
gay".
	Lance looked at his dad for a moment as he said nothing.  He couldn't tell
what his father was feeling, but the longer he took, the more scared he got.
  Less than a minute had gone by (which felt like twenty to Lance) before
his father simply said in a calm and quiet voice, "Get out".
	Lance was shocked by the calmness, but not surprised by the statement.  He
had expected it, but it still hit him like a ton of bricks.  The next few
minutes were a blur, but he remembered grabbing his jacket and running out
to his car.  He thought he heard the sound of his mother crying and his dad
screaming, but he may have been mistaken.  He didn't care though.  He just
had to get away.  He pulled out of the driveway with no idea where he was
going.

	Laurel, Mississippi was a small town, although until Lance had joined
NSYNC, he never realized it.  The places he had been in the last five years
had opened his eyes to a whole new world.  It had also made him realize
things about himself.  He had never even met a truly gay person before he
went on the road, even though he knew the town had plenty of them.
	His first real experience with homosexuality had come when he was just
fourteen years old.  His days in a band were a couple of years away and
Lance bided his time as a normal high-schooler.  Unfortunately, his tale
didn't involve some next-door neighbor or high school quarterback: his first
experiences with this lifestyle were something he didn't think he'd tell
anyone about during his lifetime.
	Laurel had a small park, on the outskirts of town that used to be a hangout
for what he later discovered were called "cruisers".  Lance didn't
understand the concept.  He had found the place accidentally during one of
his many solitary biking excursions.  He often liked to go out alone so he
could think about things and figure exactly what was up with his life.
	This one day, it was near dusk and he ended up at the park, where he
noticed that several parked cars and trucks were lined up along the
entrance.  Most of these cars had people sitting behind the wheel.  Lance
thought some meeting was going on and walked his bike through the lot
towards the woods.  As he walked by one truck, he noticed a fairly young
looking guy staring at him.  As he passed, the guy got out of the truck and
began following Lance.  He thought this guy might be a mugger or something,
but something inside of him twinged and he led the guy off to a secluded
area.
	He wouldn't exactly call what they had sex: the guy sucked Lance off and
then jacked himself while Lance stood there in disbelief.  He knew about
blowjobs, but had never experienced one, and from a man no less.  He was so
freaked out by the whole thing that he ran off crying and hadn't been to the
park since.
	It was now, as he drove down the highway leading out of town, that he
passed the
entrance to that park.  He noticed a couple of trucks sitting in the lot and
immediately knew what they were there for.  He briefly considered stopping -
not so much because he was horny, but because he knew that there he would
get some attention and the thought of being wanted appealed to him right
then, considering his parents had pretty much disowned him.  Still, he knew
he would be taking a huge risk if he went to the park.  Someone might see
him and word would get out.  Not that the guys there (most of whom he knew
were married by the rings they wore) would tell anything, for fear of having
to explain themselves; but, his fame was too great to take a risk.
	Lance laughed to himself.  Five years ago, he was an amateur, dressing up
in dig
costumes and singing to kids.  Now, he was an international star.  And he
could end it all by being his true self.  Life sucked sometimes.
	Lance noticed he was now at the highway.  He decided to keep going.  He had
to get away from this place.  He could live without the clothes he had
brought for his week-long stay with his parents (which ended tonight with
two left).  He had to get back to Orlando and his own house.

	Orlando was just as hot and muggy as Mississippi had been.  When Lance got
to his house, he noticed he had only two messages.  Everyone knew he was at
his parents and could reach him there, and he was relieved, since he had
been driving all night and just wanted to collapse.  The first message
stopped him cold.
	"Lance, I hope you get this," it was his mom, "I'm not sure if you drove
back home or what, but I'm worried about you," There was a pause, "So is
your father."
	Bullshit, Lance thought to himself.  The message continued, "Please call
me.  I love you."
	Lance suddenly found himself crying and cursed himself for even caring
about them.  Sure his mom had been as supportive as she could, but he didn't
need a half-assed attempt - he needed full acceptance.  Maybe later he could
deal with that, but now, he just needed a friend.
	Which made the second message all the more exciting.  It was Justin, "Howdy
Scoop!  I figured you were still at your mom and dad's but I was too lazy to
try and find their number and this isn't all that important.  Just wanted to
let you know Joey's in town a little early and we're gonna be hanging out
until we meet back up for rehearsal.  So, if you get in before Friday, call
me at my mom's".
	Lance smiled as he erased the messages.  It was now Wednesday and he did
want to see the guys.  He wasn't necessarily ready to tell them he was gay,
but he did want to be around the guys.
	Now, this wasn't really a sexual thing, although Lance did find all the
guys attractive in their own ways.  Lance tended to get crushes on guys when
he first met them and slowly that would develop into friendships.  He never
acted on the crushes, since he knew they were minor, and he honestly thought
it helped him be closer to the guys.  The first NSYNCer he developed a crush
on had, surprisingly, been Chris.  Lance was just a teenage when he joined
the band and Chris was this mature adult.  This grew into a brotherly love,
although Chris sometimes acted the most childish of them all.  That playful
quality led to his short crush on Joey, who was so nice to him when they
were starting out.  That also grew into brotherly love.
	Then there were Lance and JC.  Lance waffled between these two for awhile.
Both of the guys, in his opinion, were incredibly hot, and by the way the
fans responded, he wasn't alone. And the guys were so nice to him too.  Just
and Lance were only two years apart and they practically spent their
adolescence together.  Josh was just a sweet guy.  Lance loved the all guys,
but it never got beyond those initial crushes.  He knew that developing a
love for any of the guys was out of the question, as it would more than
likely cause more problems that it was worth.
	In fact, Lance didn't even know if any of the guys were gay.  He doubted
it, although each one had their fey qualities from time to time.  He likened
that to the fact that they were so close and open and didn't feel the need
to be macho around each other.  Lance's gaydar sucked and he knew that.
Sure, he could tell some of the management guys were gay, but that was
pretty obvious.  And he figured speculating on the others was a wasted
venture.  So, he just enjoyed being their friends.
	But, right now, all he wanted was sleep.  He'd call Justin when he got up.
But, first, he called his mom.  Luckily for him (so as to avoid a fight), no
one was home, or they weren't answering.  He left a message telling his mom
(and he emphasized that) that he was home and fine and would call her later.
  The later the better, he thought.
	Lance went into his bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes along the way.  As
he collapsed in the bed, he felt a tear run down his cheek.  His life was
never going to be the same again.


There it is - part one!  I'm not sure if this is too long or too short, but
it's what I wanted to say at this point.  I know it is pretty
Lance-centric, but more characters will be introduced in part two - if I
get some positive feedback - so please mail me!!!!!!!!!!!