Date: Thu, 4 May 2000 20:46:16 -0700 (PDT)
From: Robin <nsajscgirl@yahoo.com>
Subject: Chapter 4, Now or Never, Boy-bands, Celebrity

Now or Never by Robin Smithson

Disclaimer: If you are breaking any laws by reading this little story,
please go somewhere else.  I do not know `N Sync (more's the pity) or have
any idea of their sexual preferences.  This is a piece of fiction
(i.e. it's not real).
	I know I spit this chapter out really quick, but don't expect that
often!  As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure I will have regular access
to a computer for a little while so the chapters certainly won't come this
quick.  Maybe once every week, we'll see.
	Thank you once again to the people who have written me!  I know for
a fact that I wouldn't have continued the story if y'all hadn't emailed me.
And of course thanks to everyone who gave me such good suggestions!  :)
	There are so many good stories out here on Nifty that I couldn't
possibly name them all.  Just go check them out!
	Email me with your suggestions or comments!  nsajscgirl@yahoo.com I
love getting email!  Please let me know what you think about this chapter!
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Previously on Now or Never:
	Justin sighed again and suddenly became aware of the fact that JC
and Lance were staring at him.  "What?" he asked defensively.
	"I asked if you were ready, and you were off in la-la-land," JC
explain.  `What is his problem?' JC asked himself as he looked at Justin.
"Are you okay, man?"
	"Yeah, I'm fine, lets just play." Justin demanded.  With a frown,
JC complied and made the first shot.  The clacking of pool balls bouncing
around the table echoed throughout the room and somehow it made up for the
lack of conversation.  Eventually as the night and the game wore on, JC
managed to bring his two friends out of their musings and they were back to
the goofy characters that their fans had come to know and love.

And now Chapter 4 of Now or Never

	Drip...drip...drip.  Justin sighed and rolled over in the large bed
Lance provided for his guests.  The enormous digital numbers on the clock
beside the bed read 4:15 am.  The constant drip, drip of water from the
bathroom sink was only one of the many things preventing Justin from
sleeping.  He sighed again as the numbers blinked, changing to read 4:16
am.  He had given up on sleep around three-thirty.  His brain wouldn't stop
working.  The events of the previous evening kept repeating themselves over
and over again in his mind.  So much had happened last night that Justin
was having a hard time dealing with all of it.  He lifted his arms,
stretched his long frame and pushed the cotton sheet covering him to the
bottom of the bed.  Silently he swung his legs over the side of the bed and
got to his feet.  Just as silently he crossed the room and entered the
hallway.  Justin looked left and right, half expecting to see someone, Josh
or Lance in the hallway, but it was empty and quiet except for the ticking
of the clock that graced the corridor.
	Lance's room was right across the hall and Justin had an
overwhelming desire to talk to his friend.  They needed to finish what they
had started.  Earlier, before the game of pool was even over, Lance had
cried off, insisting that he was simply too tired to finish the game.
Reluctantly and with no small amount of regret, Justin watched Lance walk
out of the room causing JC to look at him curiously.
	"Okay, what's the deal?  Are you okay, man?  What did you and Lance
talk about before I got here?  It must have been something real important.
You two have been real quiet tonight," JC stated as he leaned over the
table and lined up his stick to hit the white ball.  There were still
several balls left on the table, the game wasn't even half over before
Lance decided to leave.
	"It wasn't anything important," Justin replied, more than a little
nervous.  He had never been able to keep secrets from Josh, well.secrets
that Josh asked him directly about anyway.  "Like he said earlier, he just
had some problems lately and we talked about them, that's all."
	"Oh, really, what kind of problems?  I don't really understand why
you are being so secretive about this.  If they were so unimportant, you'd
tell me," JC said.  Feelings of frustration were threatening to overwhelm
him as he stared at his younger friend.  They were suppose to be close,
best friends, but both Justin and Lance were shutting him out.  Justin
averted his gazed to the floor as JC's penetrating gaze touched him.
	"Look, Josh, if Lance wanted all of us to know what was going on in
his life, he would have called a group meeting," Justin pointed out, hoping
to draw JC's attention elsewhere.  "I practically had to force him to tell
me what little he did and I'm not going to jeopardize the trust he has in
me by running my mouth."  JC stared at Justin, a little shocked.  Part of
him wanted to shake Justin and make him confess everything, and the other
half of him wanted to respect Justin's wishes and let everything alone.
"Josh, as soon as Lance is ready, he will tell you.  He is just struggling
with some major issues that don't have anything to do with the group, it's
just him.  So let him deal with it, okay?"  JC stared at his friend another
moment before nodding mutely.  He wasn't happy about this, but if that is
what Justin wanted, that's what he would do.
	Justin sighed internally; he was glad that JC had decided to let it
rest.  He didn't want to mention the fact that his and Lance's earlier
conversation had held several life-changing revelations for him as well,
that would just lead to more questions.  Justin realized that it was his
turn and he studied the table silently before choosing his shot.  The game
ended somewhere around two in the morning with JC the victor.  It was
obvious that Justin's mind wasn't really on the game, so JC was relieved
when it finally ended.
	"I'm just gonna crash on the couch, okay?" JC said as he exited the
room and walked towards the living room.
	"Okay," Justin called softly after JC's retreating form.  That left
the guestroom for him, right across the hallway from Lance, which was where
Justin was headed at nearly four-thirty in the morning.  The door was
completely shut but Justin knew that it wasn't locked, just as he knew that
Lance was still awake.  Without knocking, he noiselessly opened the door to
Lance's bedroom and stepped into the dark interior.
	"Justin?" Lance's deep voice sounded throughout the room.  Justin
jumped slightly at the sound of Lance's voice even though he had been
expecting it.  He left the door cracked open and moved towards the bed.
	"Yeah, it's me."  A quiet click was the only warning given as Lance
flipped on the light beside his bed, blinding Justin in the process.
"Damn, man, could you turn off the light?" Justin asked as he shielded his
eyes from the glaring light.
	"Yeah, sorry," Lance replied quickly as he reached back over and
clicked the light off.  He was still lying down in the bed; he had simply
leaned over to turn the light on and off.  Justin made his way to the
unoccupied side of Lance's bed.  "What are you doing here, Justin?" Lance
asked softly, he voice seeming to float through the dark air.  Justin
sighed and lowered himself to the bed, sliding in beside Lance without
touching the older boy.
	"I couldn't sleep.and I knew you were awake.  I thought maybe we
could talk some more," Justin said hesitantly as he rested his head on the
soft pillow that adorned his side of the bed.  He reached down and pulled
the covers up to his chin, breathing deeply.  Lance's smell, his cologne,
surrounded Justin and he savored the smell.  Next to him, Lance was
breathing evenly and he turned his head slightly to take in Justin's
outline.  The moonlight provided a small amount of light throughout the
room and Lance could make out Justin's facial features.  There were worry
lines on the younger boy's forehead and Lance ached inside, wanting to
comfort his friend.
	"You want to talk about earlier?" Lance asked, his body completely
aware of his friend next to him.  Justin nodded soundlessly and Lance
sighed.  "You know, I still can't believe I told you.about me being gay I
mean.  I didn't really tell you about the crush part, you figured that out
for yourself.  I held all of that within myself for six years and in one
night, I tell you everything.  I am still in shock," Lance stated honestly.
Justin turned to look at his friend and offered a weak smile in sympathy
and understanding.
	"Yeah, I know what you mean.  The absolute last thing I expected to
happened tonight did," Justin said.  "It's not a bad thing though.  For
some reason I feel good about it.  The whole thing, your coming out, my
coming out."
	"So you are definitely gay?" Lance interrupted curiously.  They
hadn't finished this part of their conversation.  Justin was silent for a
moment before clarifying his statement.
	"I.I think I'm bisexual.  I have always been able to um.be with
girls, but I find men attractive too.  I've never been with a guy though,"
Justin admitted shyly.  "It's come to the point though lately that I've
been looking for something more.  I want something real.  Someone to love
me and be with me for more than a few months, ya know?"  Lance nodded in
understanding as Justin continued, "I don't really care if it's with a guy
or a girl as long as it is the right person."
	"I've been looking for the right person for a long time, Justin,"
Lance said softly, leaning up on his elbow to stare down at Justin.
Slowly, Justin raised himself up, took a deep breath and replied.
	"I think I've found the right person, Lance," Justin said before
slowly and ever so gently pressing his warm lips to Lance's.  Lance knew it
was coming and yet he wasn't completely prepared for it, a small gasp
escaping his lips.  `This is really happening," he said to himself before
coming to his senses enough to return the sweet kiss.  Justin held still as
Lance's lips started to move tenderly over his.  His senses where slowly
coming to life as the kiss deepened.  The smell of Lance's ever-present
cologne filled his nostrils, as he became aware of the cool sheets touching
what was exposed of his heated skin.  Light stubble scrapped his palm when
he laid his palm against Lance's cheek.  Lance's lips left Justin's for a
moment causing the younger boy to moan quietly in protest.
	"Shhh." Lance hummed as he fulfilled Justin's desire by once again
touching his lips to the younger boy's.  Justin sighed as Lance continued
the kiss.  His hands felt the urge to roam so he traced the outline of
Lance's jaw and continued downward to rub his thumb over Lance's Adam's
apple.  Justin smiled into the kiss as Lance growled low in his throat at
having Justin stroke his throat.  Justin pulled back and smiled, staring
into Lance's eyes.  Lance returned the stare, their faces only a couple of
inches apart.
	Justin couldn't remember anyone having eyes as beautiful as Lance's
and his expression turned to one of wonder as he recognized the emotion
filling Lance's eyes.  Love, that's what it was.  Unconditional love.
Justin felt a flicker of fear as he realized the depth of Lance's love for
him, but it was quickly squashed as he realized that it was what he had
spent the last few years of his life looking for.  He was ready for it, and
he knew in his heart and his mind that he could return it wholeheartedly.
	"I know you're probably not ready for this Justin, but I want us to
be honest to each other from now on, no matter what," Lance said in
preparation to tell Justin what was in his heart.  Justin nodded and waited
to hear Lance out.  "I love you, Justin."
	Justin simply smiled that blinding smile of his and replied softly,
"I love you too, Lance."  Lance stared at Justin in astonishment.
	"Really?" he asked before he could stop himself.  Justin was a
little saddened that Lance didn't have enough confidence in himself to
believe him, but he decided to make light of it and giggled.
	"Really," was his reply.  Lance grinned crookedly at Justin once he
allowed himself to believe Justin's statement.  His was overjoyed as
Justin's smile and words brought happiness to his heart.  Lance lowered
himself back down to the bed and scooted closer to Justin.  Justin went
even farther and turned onto his side so that he faced Lance and draped his
right arm across his lover's chest.  He dropped his head into the crook of
Lance's neck and shoulder and snuggled closely.  They sighed at exactly the
same time as an incredible feeling of peace stole over each of them.  There
was no talking as the couple lay in bed savoring the feeling of being close
to someone.  Eventually, their breathing evened out and they both drifted
off to sleep each content to stay exactly where they were.  However,
neither of them spared a single thought to the other person that occupied
the house.
	JC Chasez stood at the doorway, watching his two friends silently.
Justin's journey through the hallway had woken him up and he had been
curious about his friend's nocturnal traveling.  He had heard and seen it
all through the crack in Lance's bedroom door.  They looked incredibly
peaceful in each other's arms and Lance had this stupid grin on his face.
JC smiled as he noticed that grin.  If there was one thing in the world
that JC could wish for his band mates, it was this, that they would find
someone to share their lives with.  In some ways, it made it easier that
they had found that person in each other; in other ways, it made it much
more difficult.  JC knew that the road ahead for his two best friends would
be an incredibly rough one.  He was willing to help in any way possible,
but he was reluctant to let them know that.  Evidently they hadn't trusted
him enough to confide their secret in him and he wasn't going to force a
confession from them.  There had to be some way to get them to reveal their
little secret to him.  A simple plan was forming in his mind.  He smiled to
himself as he shut the door to Lance's bedroom all the way and returned to
the living room to get some sleep.

	A loud pounding at the front door awakened JC early the next
morning.  He moved suddenly to sit up, not remembering that he was sleeping
on a small couch, and ended up tumbling to the floor.  A loud thud marked
his impact with the floor and he groaned loudly as the pounding continued.
	"God dammit!  I'll be there in a minute, Chris!" JC shouted.  He
had no doubt in his mind that it was Chris pounding on the door at.JC
looked at the clock hanging on the wall in the living room.at six-thirty in
the morning.  Chris had always taken perverse pleasure in waking JC up from
his slumber since he knew how much sleep meant to JC.  He slowly raised
himself to his knees and pushed himself onto his feet using the couch for
leverage.  JC reached around to rub his bottom as he walked slowly to the
door.  "What the hell are you doing Kirkpatrick?!" JC shouted as he opened
the door to stare his older friend down.  Instead of seeing a grinning
Chris as he had expected, he saw a look of frantic worry covering Chris's
face.  "What."
	"JC!  Oh God!  Are Justin and Lance here too!?  I went to your
place to find you and you weren't there.  I remembered Justin saying he was
going to stay with Lance so I came straight over here.  You've got to come
with me!  We have to leave now.it's Joe," Chris explained frantically not
giving JC a chance to answer his questions.  JC started to ask Chris to
explain what happened with Joe when Chris interrupted him again, "Come on,
dammit!  Get Lance and Justin!  Let's go!"  JC reached out and grabbed
Chris by the shoulders, hoping to calm him down.  He had never seen Chris
this shaken up before.
	"Calm down, Chris.  What happened to Joey?" JC managed to ask as
calmly as possible.  Chris took in a huge gulp of air as JC's touch managed
to calm him a little.
	"He...we...oh, God!" Chris shouted in despair as he flung himself
at the taller man.  JC clutched Chris to him and started rubbing his back.
Sobs were starting to wrack Chris's body as Josh held him close.  "It's all
my fault!" Chris wailed as he pulled back from JC.  His eyes were wide in
shock and tears were streaming down his face as he turned and walked into
the living room, leaving JC standing in the foyer by himself, dumbfound.
Chris paced in front of the couch where JC had spent a relatively
comfortable night as he tried to get a hold of himself.  With the back of
his hand, he swiped at the tears that were leaving streaks down his face
and sighed deeply.
	JC stood at the entrance to the living room, watching his friend
pull himself together.  Worry was eating at the edges of his mind as he
replayed Chris's confession in his mind.  `What was all his fault?' JC
thought to himself.  He knew that he wouldn't get any answers out of Chris
if he forced them so he compelled himself to wait until Chris was ready.
	Lance had heard Chris's strained voice shouting throughout the
house and it was what had undoubtedly woken him up.  Slowly, he returned to
the land of the living to find Justin curled up against his side, facing
away from him.  Lance smiled to himself with happiness.  The shouting
hadn't affected Justin, who still slept with the abandon of youth and Lance
felt that it was best to let Justin sleep a little longer.  Silently, he
slipped out of his bed and turned to pull the covers up and over Justin.
He made his was out of the room and walking into the living room just in
time to see Chris stop pacing and look towards JC.  Lance stood slightly
behind JC to the right and Chris noticed him the minute he appeared.
	"What's going on?" Lance asked softy as he took in Chris's
tear-streaked face and JC's worried profile.  JC acknowledge Lance's
presence by turning slightly to his right and nodding.  Lance returned the
nod and continued to stare at Chris.  "What happened Chris?" Lance asked,
taking a step toward his friend, ready to administer comfort if Chris
needed it.  Chris's next words stopped Lance in his tracks.
	"I...I think...I...I...k...killed Joe!"
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Alrighty!  There ya go!  Chris and Joey had to show up sometime, didn't
they?  What happened to Chris and Joey during the night?  I guess you'll
just have to wait for the next chapter to find out!  :) Ha, Ha, Ha!  Talk
to y'all later!  Email me at nsajscgirl@yahoo.com Robin :)