Date: Mon, 19 Jul 1999 19:41:34 -0400 (EDT)
From: tumbler99@yahoo.com
Subject: "'N SYNC Savior - Part Ten"

Note: This is a complete work of fiction.  I am not implying that any
character within this story is gay or bisexual.  This is just my fantasy,
so let me have it!!!  I'm planning on making this a continuing plot, with
twists and turns and everything else thrown in.  So please, don't be afraid
to send any comments my way.  Since I've never been to New York I may need
a little help with some scenery and stuff.  Please e-mail me at
tumbler99@yahoo.com


'N SYNC Savior

Chapter Ten

     "Matt....what are you thinking about right now?"  He whispered his
question but there was a force behind it - I could tell he really wanted to
know.  I decided to follow my own advice and throw caution to the wind.
     "I'm thinking of how beautiful you are.  Your skin, your eyes, your
hair, your hands.  But above all else you're heart.  I'm thinking of how
lucky I am that I actually got to meet you.  I'm thinking of all the times
I've lain awake in bed and wondered what it would be like to be with you -
completely with you.  I'm thinking of how much I don't want this moment to
end even though I just bared all of my secrets to you."

     I finally broke his gaze as I turned my head to the side.  I closed my
eyes as a tear streamed down my face.  I felt his hands leave mine and I
felt empty and alone.  Another tear slipped from my lashes as I tried not
to sob.  I should have known that he wasn't ready for that.  After the way
he had run off that afternoon....the way he had kept so quiet throughout
the day....he wasn't ready.  I lifted my hand to my face to wipe away the
two tears that had escaped.  Before I could touch my face I felt him grab
my hand softly.

     He pulled it away from my face gently and I turned my head to look at
him.  He slowly raised his other hand and brought it closer to my face.  He
delicately swept the streaks with his thumb, resting his other fingers on
the side of my face.  I felt my breath slow and my sobbing stop as I felt
his warm hand on my face.  He gripped my other hand tight and squeezed it
lovingly.  I just sat there in a trance.
     When all the moisture was gone he looked into my eyes and I saw a
smile form on his face.
     "There's no need to cry," he whispered.  "You're the one telling me
not to care what other people think, remember?  You're not setting a good
example by crying now."  I could hear the lightness in his voice and knew
he was toying with me but I was still sad.
     "I know, I know.  It's just that I told you every little thing I was
thinking about and you weren't ready to handle it.  I should have never
said all of that."  I slowly stopped as his smile grew bigger.
     
     "If you had never said that then I wouldn't have been able to do
this."  He leaned in softly and turned his head to side.  His soft lips
pressed into mine and I almost fainted on the spot.  He pressed into me
with more force as the kiss went on and on.  His free hand and slipped down
to find mine and we were connected once again.  My heart was starting to
beat faster as I felt a lightness come to my brain.  I was floating towards
heaven and I didn't care what happened to me now.  But like all good
things, this one ended too soon.

     He pulled back lightly when we were out of air but I stayed in the
same position - eyes closed, head tilted to the side, shocked like no
other.  I heard a soft laugh come from his direction and it allowed me to
open my eyes.

     "Wow," I mouthed, unable to put a voice behind my words.
     "Excuse me?"  He laughed.  "I didn't quite hear you."
     "Wow," I whispered, finally finding the will.
     He stared into my eyes as he leaned in closer.  "Are you happy that
you told me all those secrets?" he asked.
     I didn't trust myself to speak more than that one word so I nodded my
head slowly.  I heard him laugh again as he pulled me in for a hug.
     "All the guys told me not to hide my feelings," he whispered in my
ear.  "They told me that you were special and that I shouldn't run away
from what I was feeling.  I'm sorry I didn't give you any signs before this
but I just couldn't.  I've never really been in a true relationship and I
wasn't sure if you really felt the same.  I'm sorry," he paused as he
realized what he said.  "No, I'm not sorry, I'm just disappointed for not
letting my feelings show."
     I pulled away from him, regretfully, so I could look at him.
     "Well, I must admit that you took me by shock.  But I'm not angry at
you."  I looked at him with a smile.  "Truthfully?  I've never actually
told anyone how much I liked them unless it was in a letter.  I kind of
have a hard time telling people face to face because I don't know how
they'll react.  And before you say anything," I held up my hand, "it's only
because I haven't felt that comfortable being gay until just a few months
ago.  You're the first guy I've really shown my true feelings for."

     We stared at each other as we let the words sink in.  I couldn't
believe that he actually felt something for me.  I mean for me it was
obvious.  He was a heartthrob who I had been following for over a year.
His body was perfect, his voice was beautiful, his personality was
awesome....everything about him screamed out "Love me."  But me?  I wasn't
anything that special, just another guy on the street.  I couldn't believe
he could feel something for me.
     JC, on the other hand, couldn't believe that I had never opened myself
up like that before today.  He was shocked that I would come out of my
shell for him.  In his eyes he wasn't anything spectacular.  Yeah, he could
sing.  And yeah, all the girls loved him.  But they loved JC the superstar
- he really wasn't any different than another guy on the street.  He
couldn't believe that I would feel something this deep for him.

     As our stare deepened, each of us looking into the others soul, we
leaned in close once again.  His mouth opened softly as he took a breath.
I felt his moist lips press into mine once again but this time I didn't sit
back in shock.  I pressed into him with longing.  I opened my lips lightly
and closed my eyes to enjoy the moment.  I felt his left hand leave mine
and briefly wondered what he was doing.  The next moment I felt him grab me
around the neck and pull me in tighter.  I used my free hand to hold onto
his back as we continued our kiss.  I felt his right hand loosen its grip
but I held on tighter.  I wasn't going to let this one go.  He had one free
hand and that was all he really needed - I wanted to be connected with him
throughout it all.  We continued our embrace until I felt a tap on my
shoulder and heard someone clear his throat.


     "Uh hum....Guys?  Um, guys?  Could you please stop?"  Lance tapped
harder on my shoulder and spoke a little louder.  "Guys?  I'm really glad
you've finally expressed your true feelings but we have to go.  Guys?
Hello?"  He bent down a little and grabbed one head in each hand.  He
slowly pulled us away from each other as we broke down laughing.

     "Man, Lance.... you sure know how to ruin a good thing, don't you?"
JC smiled over at his friend as I tried to stop laughing.
     "Yeah Lance.  You've been trying to get us together all night and when
we finally do you have to come stop us!"  I reached over and pulled him in
for a hug.  I leaned in close and whispered in his ear.  "Why didn't you
tell me?"  I paused for a second before going on.  "It doesn't matter I
suppose.  I like how it happened anyway.  Thank you."

     Joey started laughing from the doorway and we all turned to look at
him.  I hadn't realized that the whole group was standing in the room
watching us - I had figured it was just Lance.
     "Wait...." Joey started, trying not to laugh too hard.  "I thought it
was JC and Matt.  Not Lance and Matt."  I looked over at him and smiled.
     "Oh shut up.  I'm just happy and I feel like hugging someone."  I
looked over at JC again and continued to smile.  I took a step to him and
pulled him into a hug.  "And kissing someone."  I pulled my head back
lightly as I placed my lips on his.  With every kiss I felt more
comfortable with him.  I could feel every little detail of his face as our
lips pressed together.
     I felt myself forget about the rest of the world until a hand was laid
on my shoulder.
     "Oh no, not again guys.  We really have to go."  Lance was trying his
hardest to break us up but I wasn't going to allow it this time.  I pressed
in hard and then finally pulled away.
     "There....I'm ready to go now."  I reached down to the floor and
picked up my first set of clothes.  "But I have to change first."
     
     "Don't worry about the clothes Matt," JC remarked.  "I really liked
the way you looked in them."  I heard a chuckle from Chris as JC continued.
"What I mean is that you can keep them.  Robin won't even know they're
gone."
     "Thanks.  I really liked them too."  I looked over at the door with a
questioning look.  "But only if you guys are sure...."
     "Dude, definitely.  You looked so hot in them.  You saw the reactions
you got from us."  Justin answered.
     "Like I'm going to believe those!  You guys can't even dress
yourselves - you need Robin to do that for you," I laughed as I rushed past
the group and through the door quickly.  Chris and Justin took off after me
as the rest of the guys followed behind.
     "That's right you little Kansas boy," Joey yelled.  "You better be
runnin'!"

     As we sat in the limo I looked around at everyone.  I couldn't believe
everything that was happening here today.  I knew that I had planned on
having a good vacation but this was unbelievable.  I saw Justin sitting
across from me with a look of disappointment or sadness in his eyes.  I
couldn't tell what he was thinking about, obviously, but I knew it was
something that he would need to get off his chest.  Chris was next to him
with his eyes closed.  It looked like he was sleeping and I couldn't blame
him.  If I had to put on a concert like they did I would be exhausted too.
     I looked to the back of the limo where Adam, Lance, and Joey were
sitting.  Lance and Joey both had their eyes closed like Chris, but Adam
was wide awake.  He was stealing quick glances my way and after a few
moments I finally caught his eye.  He smiled bigger as he stared over at
me.  I smiled back at him and mouthed "I can't believe this."  He chuckled
a little and mouthed back, "believe it!"  I turned slightly away from him
with a smile on my face.

     As I looked at the man to my left I felt my heart skip a beat.  I
couldn't believe what had just happened in the past hour.  It just goes to
show you that you never know what will happen until you do something.  Who
would have ever guessed that he had feelings for me?  Or that he was just
as scared as I was?  "But," I reminded myself, "he could have just as
easily turned you down and kicked your butt.  You just have to be lucky
that he felt the same way."  As my smiled turned to a frown I saw him look
my way.
     "Don't frown Matt - it doesn't look good on you," he stated.  "What's
bothering you?"
     "Oh, it's not much.  I was just thinking of how everything's changed
in such a short time.  But it could have gone any which way.  Adam didn't
have to be walking by that alley last night.  ‘N Sync didn't have to be
the band he managed.  You didn't have to have feelings for me too.
Anything could have happened."  I was spilling out all of my fears when I
felt his finger on my lips.
     "Shhhh, baby, don't speak like that."  He stared into my eyes until I
stopped.  "Good....now you're right.  Anything could have happened....but
nothing like that did.  Fate stepped in and played her hand.  She wants us
together and we are.  Just be happy for what you have, remember?"
     I felt my lips creep into a smile under his finger and I almost
laughed.  I opened my mouth enough for his finger to slip in and I sucked
on it lightly.  "Yeah, you're right.  Fate dealt us a great hand, didn't
she?"
     He nodded his head as I leaned over to rest on his shoulder.  He
tipped his own head to the side and rested it on mine.  I softly whispered
as I fell into a light sleep.  "Joshua Chasez?  I'm so glad I met you.  You
make me feel good on the inside."  As "inside" drifted from my mouth I felt
the tiredness take over and I was out.  I didn't wake up until we reached
the hotel.

     It might have been because of the hour, it was probably past their
bedtimes, but for some reason there were not that many girls waiting
outside the hotel.  There was a small group off to the side and I could see
a few who hadn't been kicked out of the lobby.  JC just smiled down at me
and whispered, "here we go again."  I was tempted to grab his hand but
decided I better play it safe.  I didn't want Doug mad at me!
     The screams got louder as the door was opened up.  We piled out as the
guards kept the girls back.  We were in the lobby and everything was going
great until Justin finally spoke up.
     
     "Hey everyone!  How ya'll doin'?"  The crowd broke into a frenzy and
surged forward.  "Would ya'll like some autographs?"  He smiled at the
crowd as the performer in him took over.  "Well don't be shy, come on up.
Let the ladies through, gentlemen!"  As the guards stood down as a rush of
young girls came running forward.
     
     "Oh God Justin.  You are so beautiful.  I love you so much.  I have
pictures of you all over my room.  I listen to your CD every night.  Oh my
God, I can't believe this."  A pretty teenager was standing next to Justin
and rambled on and on until he handed her poster back to her.
     "Well I'm glad you like us so much.  Why don't you see if the other
guys will sign your poster."  To her it probably sounded like a question
but I could hear the authority behind his voice - it was an order.  I
laughed as I realized that the guys had grown so accustomed to the fame
that they knew exactly how to take control of the situation without making
the girls feel bad.  Within 10 seconds the first girl was away from Justin
and the next stood in her place.  I just stood back and watched in awe as
everyone threw on their performer's smile and did their thing.
     Ten minutes later everyone was satisfied and we made our way to the
elevator.  I stood next to JC again and felt him press into me.  I liked
the warmth of his body as he reached down to grab my hand.  I look back and
smiled at him as I softly pursed my lips.  He leaned in and gave me a quick
kiss but pulled away before any of the guys could say anything.

     We walked out into the hallway and everyone sighed from exhaustion.
     "No clubs tonight," Lance moaned.  "I need to get some sleep."
     "I hear ya," Chris answered back.  "Night guys."
     Everyone yelled good night as Chris, Joey, and Lance entered their own
rooms.  Justin, Adam, JC, and I were left standing in the hallway.  JC and
I were still holding hands as Adam pulled his key card out and opened the
door.
     
     "So are you planning on staying in JC's room tonight?" Justin asked
curiously.
     I looked over at him and saw the same look as in the limo.  My mind
started running full speed as I thought of different things.  "Could he be
jealous of JC and I?  Could he have a crush on me?  Oh God, I bet it's JC.
He has a crush on JC."  My mind was overflowing with thoughts so I forced
myself to stop.  I focused my attention on JC and read his thoughts.
     "No...." I said very slowly.  "I think I'll stay in Adam's room and
talk with him for awhile.  He's leaving tomorrow morning and I want to say
goodbye."  I looked into JC's eyes and was relieved when I didn't see any
jealousy or disappointment.
     "Don't worry about a thing, Matt.  I understand what you have to do
with Adam and I'm cool with it."  He smiled at me as he continued.  "I mean
he's been like a father to all of us for a long time and I know how hard it
is going to be for me to say goodbye."  He leaned over as our lips
connected once again.  I held this one for a few seconds before I started
rubbing his back.  We broke off slowly as he whispered in my ear.  "I'll
see you tomorrow, all right?"
     "Definitely!"

     Justin slowly walked off as JC slipped out of my grasp.  I turned to
Adam and we walked into our room.  He sighed as he sat down on the bed and
slipped his shoes off.
     "What an interesting evening!" he started.
     I had a dazed expression on my face as I slowly stripped off my shirt
and pulled off my shoes.  I put on an old t-shirt that I used to sleep in
and sunk into the big recliner.
     "Yeah, it was definitely interesting."  I looked over at him and
grinned.  "Why didn't anyone tell me about JC?  I thought you were my
friend!"
     "Hey, don't yell at me," Adam laughed.  "Lance and I knew from the
start what was happening but we decided not to say anything.  Lance talked
to both of you and the rest of the guys talked to JC but we decided to let
you guys run your course.  I wasn't going to push you into anything you
weren't ready for."
     "So you were just looking out for me?" I asked curiously.  "That's
really sweet of you....how can I be angry at you for doing that?"  I paused
to let my thoughts form.  "Well, it doesn't matter.  Everything has turned
out all right."  My eyes slowly closed as I remembered the past few hours.
"God, it was so romantic Adam.  We were looking at the painting and
suddenly we were holding hands....then he looked into my eyes and I felt
like I was floating in a cloud.  He asked me what I was thinking about, so
I told him everything - my attraction to him, my daydreams of the two of us
together, everything.  And then he pulled his hands away....As I think of
it now I know it was because he was just a little shocked that I did have
feelings for him.  But at the time...."I paused as I caught my breath in a
shudder.  "Anyway, then he wiped away my tears and leaned in for a kiss.
It was so sweet and gentle....he didn't push anything.  I was shocked that
he felt the same way, but then he leaned in again and I wasn't going to let
him get away....Oh man Adam, I've never felt like this before.  Just being
by him makes me happy inside.  I feel like I can do anything."  I slowly
stopped as the story was over.  I opened my eyes and looked over at Adam
sitting on the bed.  He looked a little sad.

     "What's wrong?" I asked, concerned.
     "Nothing, really.  I'm just so happy for you guys, yet so lonely at
the same time.  I'm not trying to be mean but you're only 18...." he paused
as a questioning look covered my face.  "I'm 28 and I've never been in a
long-term relationship.  I haven't found that one man I want to spend the
rest of my life with.  I'm just a little sad that I can't have what you
have right now."  I felt the sadness coming from his voice so I stood up
and walked over to him.

     "That does suck, Adam.  But that's also life.  Some people are lucky
and others have to wait a little longer.  I'm not even sure if JC is the
one," I paused as the realization sunk in.  "I mean I hope to God he
is....he makes me feel so good....but I have to be truthful and realize
that I have no idea how things will end."  I pulled him in for a hug and
finished in a whisper.  "You just have to be strong and keep your heart
open.  You'll find someone soon."  We released each other as he wiped a
tear from his face.
     "I know, I'm just going on a pity trip here for a second."  He looked
at his watch and let out a sigh.  We really need to get to bed, it's really
late."  He stood up and walked into the bathroom to change while I pulled
out my contacts and got under the covers.  Before he even opened the door I
was out.  My dreams were sweet tonight - I saw JC's dark blue eyes, dark
skin, and wonderful smile.  I heard his sweet voice singing lullabies while
I slept.  There were no thoughts of Mark, or dark alleys, or rape.  I was
happy and I wasn't going to let anything take that away from me.


To be continued....