Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 18:01:45 -0400 (EDT)
From: tumbler99@yahoo.com
Subject: "'N SYNC Savior - Part Eleven"

Note: This is a complete work of fiction.  I am not implying that any
character within this story is gay or bisexual.  This is just my fantasy,
so let me have it!!!  I'm planning on making this a continuing plot, with
twists and turns and everything else thrown in.  So please, don't be afraid
to send any comments my way.  Since I've never been to New York I may need
a little help with some scenery and stuff.  Please e-mail me at
tumbler99@yahoo.com


'N SYNC Savior

Chapter Eleven

     "That does suck, Adam.  But that's also life.  Some people are lucky
and others have to wait a little longer.  I'm not even sure if JC is the
one," I paused as the realization sunk in.  "I mean I hope to God he
is....he makes me feel so good....but I have to be truthful and realize
that I have no idea how things will end."  I pulled him in for a hug and
finished in a whisper.  "You just have to be strong and keep your heart
open.  You'll find someone soon."  We released each other as he wiped a
tear from his face.
     "I know, I'm just going on a pity trip here for a second."  He looked
at his watch and let out a sigh.  We really need to get to bed, it's really
late."  He stood up and walked into the bathroom to change while I pulled
out my contacts and got under the covers.  Before he even opened the door I
was out.  My dreams were sweet tonight - I saw JC's dark blue eyes, dark
skin, and wonderful smile.  I heard his sweet voice singing lullabies while
I slept.  There were no thoughts of Mark, or dark alleys, or rape.  I was
happy and I wasn't going to let anything take that away from me.

     I woke in the little clearing again.  The clouds were still under my
feet and the sun was still shining down on my body.  I wasn't nervous this
time; I had been here before.  I sat for a moment and really took in the
scenery.  I noticed that the area behind me wasn't empty like I had
previously thought.  On the horizon I could make out shapes of trees and
buildings and other things.  I saw the shimmery water appear on the edge
and I knew that whatever was over there was very far away.
     I turned my attention back to the trees that were in front of me.  I
had to find Jonathan again.  I started walking forward and was soon
surrounded by dark green foliage.  The sun had disappeared but it was still
light and very warm.  The warmth spread through my body and it acted like a
miracle drug.  I had never felt so full of life and energy.  I continued to
walk through the forest but kept myself from calling out.  I was in no
hurry; I wanted to explore.

     After making my way through the forest I came into another clearing
where a small creek slowly trickled along.  The water was crystal clear and
I could make out every detail as I moved closer.  I could see the dark clay
under the water and the bright rocks lining the side.  I moved closer and
slowly stripped off my shoes.  I slid my feet in the water and was shocked
at how warm it was.  This wasn't like the creeks in Colorado - it almost
felt like a bath.  I leaned back on the rock and let my eyes close.  The
radiant sun beat down on my skin and gave me confidence.  I was ready for
anything now.

     "Hello Father.  I am so glad you are back."  I heard the little voice
speak from my left.  I slowly opened my eyes as I saw the beautiful face.
"I hope all is going well?"  I could hear the anticipation in his voice and
had to laugh a little.
     "For someone who knows everything about me and my situation I'm
surprised you have to ask that."  I motioned for him to sit next to me as I
scooted aside.
     "Well, I left you alone as soon as you were all right.  I knew that
once Adam found you and got you to his hotel that you would be all right.
I have no right to watch you anymore."  I smiled as I saw his small face
look down to his lap.  He was scared and nervous and it was a big
difference from the first time I met him.
     "You have nothing to worry about.  I'm not exactly sure how
you....um....watch me, I suppose.  But I don't mind.  You're obviously
something special and I'm not going to be the one to stop you!"  I took his
small hand in my own and squeezed it gently.  "Is there anything you can
tell me Jonathan?  Is there anything I need to know?"  I looked into his
soft grey eyes as I felt him peer into mine.

     "There isn't much.  Your big trial was getting over the rape and I'm
pretty sure you are doing that very well."  He took a big breath as he
thought of his next words.  "But....there is one more thing."  He looked
down as he continued.  "I can not tell you anything specific; I shouldn't
have even told you about me.
     "Life is full of trials and pain - experiences that you wish you could
erase.  But life is also full of love and laugher - experiences that you
wouldn't give up for the world.  You have to trust him, Father.  You have
to love him.  There will come a time when fate will step in and play her
hand - you have to believe in him and work through it.  Do not worry about
what will happen in the future....just love him with all of your heart and
whatever pain you may feel will go away with time."  He slowly stood up and
started away from me.  "I can not tell you anything else, Father.  Please
forgive me for I can not."
     I blinked away a tear and he was gone.  I looked around the clearing
and called out to him.  My voice was hoarse as it echoed through the trees.
There was not a sign of him and I was beginning to wonder if I had imagined
it all.  I was about ready to convince myself that I had when I heard the
voice again.
     
"LLLLLuuuuuhhhhh.....TTTTTrrrrruuuuuhhhhh.....LLuuhhvv.....TTrruuss.....Love.....Trust.....Love
.....Trust."

     I felt the smile spread over my face as I heard the comforting voice
in my ear.  He was right - I didn't know what would happen in life.  But I
couldn't let that little fact worry me.  I was going to have to go through
life and try to live it to its fullest.  "I hope that includes JC next to
me for many more years to come," I thought, "but I can never know for sure.
I just have to trust him and love him."  I felt my eyes close as I started
falling again.  I wasn't scared this time - I knew what was coming next.

     I woke for real a few hours later with the soft, warm comforter
wrapped around me.  I kept my eyes closed and smiled as I remembered my
dream.  "He can't be real.  There's no way that my future son could be in
my dreams now, could there?"  I was quiet for a few moments as different
thoughts filled my head.  No answers were coming so I finally sat up.
"There's nothing you can do so just stop worrying about it.  Who
knows....he may be real.  All you have to do is follow his advice."
     I heard the sound of a shower escape through the door and I wondered
what time it was.  I reached over for my contacts and quickly popped them
in.  I had grown accustomed to them very quickly back in 6th grade and had
never had a problem with them.  The clock on the counter said it was 8:00
and I briefly wondered why he would up that early.
     "He's leaving today," the logical side of my brain reminded me.  I
quickly jumped out of bed and stretched a little.  My neck was better now -
you couldn't even see the scratches.  My legs were still a little sore and
my ass wasn't feeling any better, but overall I knew I was healing.  Within
a couple days I would be back to my normal self - as normal as I get
anyway.

     I flipped on the TV and heard my stomach rumble over the loud music.
I smiled as I remembered yesterday morning.
     "Hey Adam," I yelled.  "Do you want me to order breakfast?  I think
the lady down there really likes me."  I smiled as I heard the water turn
off abruptly.
     "Don't you even think about it," I heard him reply.  "You are going to
get me in so much trouble if you don't watch it.  And I only have a few
hours left - I don't want to spend those being chewed out by Doug."
     
     I was about to flip the channel when "I Drive Myself Crazy" came on.
I sat back and smiled as I thought about everything that had happened the
previous evening.  Normally whenever the video came on I would race to the
screen and watch for all of those JC moments.  His ballet leaps....his look
to the sky as he stands behind Lance....when he comes to the front window
and looks out....his little solo scene at the end as he completely goes
crazy.  I loved every moment of that video and I almost died whenever it
was over.  The thought that I would be friends with the group and possibly
lovers with JC had never crossed my mind (at least not when I was thinking
realistically).  I let out a little laugh as Lance's solo scene came on -
he was so adorable throwing those petals over his shoulder.  Finally my
favorite scenes came on and I saw JC in a straight jacket and then his silk
pajamas and then back again.  I sat and watched as he sang with so much
emotion.  I reminded myself to ask him later how he did that while
lip-syncing (or singing, which ever you prefer).  The video trailed off as
I sat, lost in my thoughts.

     Adam came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist.  He saw
me sitting in the chair and smiled again.  "God, you think way too much.
Doesn't it hurt after awhile?"
     "Nah, it only hurts for guys like you."  I stood up and grabbed the
clothes I had picked for today.  I went into the bathroom as I saw him drop
his towel to change.  Normally I would have turned my head more to get a
good look but I didn't today.  I chuckled to myself as I realized how much
I liked being in a relationship.  I knew I wasn't alone anymore and that
was all that mattered.

     Thirty minutes later we made our way to the lobby where the breakfast
"party" was being served.  The band had rented out the restaurant so we
could have Adam's going away party; they decided to have breakfast there to
kill two birds with one stone.  We were early (imagine that) and helped
ourselves to the buffet.  After filling our plates we sat down at a round
table with four chairs around it.  I briefly asked myself where the other
five guys would sit but I shook the thought out of my head.  "You're just a
friend - not a coordinator.  There are plenty of other seats and they don't
HAVE to sit next to you."  I popped a strawberry in my mouth as Adam
started up a conversation.
     We were alone for a whopping 2 minutes when the first person came in.
It shocked me when I recognized Justin.
     "What in God's name are you doing here first?  Aren't you the one who
acts like Frankenstein in the morning?"  I laughed as Justin's arms slowly
came out in front of him and he turned into a zombie.
     "Me still very tired....but not going to miss goodbye."  He broke down
laughing as he quickly filled his plate.  Of course he didn't forget a
small bowl of cereal to go along with the eggs and bacon.
     "Nah, seriously.  I couldn't sleep much last night and I wasn't going
to miss the chance to say goodbye."  He looked over at me and smiled.  "But
I'm kinda surprised you're up and at it.  After everything that
happened...."
     "Well I really didn't do much yesterday, believe it or not.  I spent
the whole day talking and chilling with you guys.  I don't know if that's
normal for you but for me it was a relaxing day."
     "Oh man, that was definitely not normal.  It was just the beginning of
our vacation and we had nothing to do really.  Since we were already here
we didn't have to travel.  That doesn't happen often."  He continued to eat
as we made small talk.
     
     People continued to walk through the door and I was introduced to
everyone that came in but there were way too many names for me to remember.
Finally 9 o'clock rolled around and you could see the room just fill up.
Our table became crowded very fast as everyone came over to say good-bye to
Adam and talk to him.  I was included as much as possible but I still felt
left out.  I reminded myself that it was only because no one knew me and it
was his going away party.  The attention would be on him for the morning.
     I slowly slid out of my chair and took my plate to the waiter who was
standing by the buffet.  I filled my glass with more apple juice and sat in
the bay window.  It overlooked the little garden next to the swimming pool
and I looked at the beautiful flowers shining with the morning dew.  My
eyes slowly wandered as quiet thoughts filled my head.  I was in such a
peaceful trance that I jumped out of my chair when I felt the hand on my
shoulder.

     "Oh man, I'm sorry," he whispered.  "I didn't mean to scare you."  I
looked into his eyes and smiled.
     "You could never scare me JC.  I was just lost in my own little
world."  I sat back down as he glanced at the empty seat next to me.
     "Do you mind if I join that world?"  He asked seductively.
     "I was wondering when you'd ask!"

     We sat next to each other as I sipped my drink.  I had already eaten
so I was full but I wasn't sure if he had.
     "Did you get anything to eat?  The food is very good here."
     He looked over at the buffet where a crowd of people were all trying
to grab a plate.  "I think I'll wait.  I'm actually not that
hungry....I'd....um....rather be here with you."
     I slowly reached out my hand and grasped his.  I squeezed gently and
asked him with my eyes if this was all right.  He just smiled and nodded
back at me, squeezing my hand tighter.  "Yeah, everyone here knows about me
pretty much.  If not, they work for the group and are under a contract not
to disclose any personal facts.  We're pretty much safe while we're here."
     "I think I'd be safe anywhere with you JC."  I saw him smile as I
started to frown.  "God that sounds wrong.  Listen....I know this is kind
of forward and all....but I really don't like the sound of the name
‘JC.'  Whenever I say it, it just doesn't sound right.  And every time I
say our names together they don't really fit."  I looked over at him as I
put on my biggest puppy dog eyes.  "If it's not too much trouble could I
call you Josh?  I totally understand if you don't want me...."
     
     He silenced me with a kiss.  Our lips, apart for hours, were reunited
once again.  I felt my mouth water as he pressed into me and opened his
mouth.  I opened mine and let my tongue roam.  We were still holding hands
and he didn't try to move this time.  After a moment he pulled back.
     "You can call me whatever you want Matt, as long as you do call me!
Josh is my name you know, and I just use JC because I like it better."  He
grinned from ear to ear as he continued.  "But when the name ‘Josh'
leaves your lips it's like an angel singing.  It's the most beautiful and
erotic sound I've ever heard in my entire life.  It makes my heart
flutter."  He looked down at his lap as he laughed.  "That was kinda corny,
but I think you get my drift.  We can be Matt and Josh, how does that
sound?"
     "It sounds perfect."

     The party wound down after an hour and we made our way to the door.
Adam's bags were already in the limo so all we had to do was run out
through the mob and we were safe.  JC grabbed my hand and smiled over at me
as I looked at him in shock.
     "We'll be running so it'll just look like I'm helping you," he
commented.
     "Works for me!"
     The guys looked at each other and Lance did a quick "ready, one, two,
three," as we sprinted through the lobby.  The girls were ready for us,
though, and made it difficult.  JC had to pull me closer to him as we
forced our way through the small hole provided by the security guards.
Justin laughed out loud as Chris yelled some comments to the girls.
     "Hey, has anyone seen the group ‘N Sync?" He asked with a
high-pitched voice.  "I heard they were staying here and I'm just dying to
meet them.  Especially that Chris guy.  Man, he's so awesome."  Lance
quickly grabbed him by the shoulder and made him run harder.
     "Come on man, we have a plane to catch."  Chris just laughed as he
waved to the crowd before ducking into the limo.

     "Don't ya just love it?"
     "Well, it is pretty energizing but I think it'll still take a little
getting used to.  But I'd sure like to get used to it," I said as I looked
over at JC.  He just smiled as he leaned in for a kiss.
     "Oh, you will," he whispered, "you certainly will."  He wrapped his
arm around my shoulder as he looked over at Adam.
     
     "So what are your plans?  We know you're heading home from the
airport, but what are you going to do once you get there?"
     "Well I've been thinking about it a lot lately.  I'm pretty sure the
counseling or psychology bit is what I want to do, but I have to get a
finish a few more classes to get the major.  I never took enough to fulfill
the requirements, just my thirst for it.  So I guess I'll spend a year or
two in college before looking for a new career."
     "In Florida?"
     "Probably," he continued.  "I'll be able to get in-state tuition
there.  And I already have the house and everything.  I wouldn't want to up
and leave everything at once," he said with a laugh.
     "Well that's awesome then," Justin interrupted.  "We'll be able to see
you whenever we come back home."
     "Yeah, whenever you come back home.  That happens, what....every other
year maybe?"  The limo started laughing as Justin looked over at him.
     "You know what I mean.  And after this tour we're taking a longer
break, remember?  We've gotta record that new album so we'll be home for a
good two months straight."  He seemed proud that he had it all planned out
and I had to wonder why he did.  Maybe he was just really interested in how
long he would be home with his family, but something told me it wasn't just
that.  There was something underlying all of his talk but I couldn't quite
tell what it was.  He glanced my direction and when he noticed me looking
at him he quickly turned back to the side.  His cheeks flushed a little and
knew there was something going on.  I was ready to make a comment when I
felt JC squeeze my hand.

     "Matt, do you need some time with Adam?"  He looked a little concerned
that I hadn't spoken for awhile and he must have thought I was torn by
emotion.
     "No, we took care of most of that last night.  It's just the good-bye
now, which will be hard enough." I smiled at him as he pulled me in
tighter.  My head drooped to his shoulder and I felt very comfortable with
him.  "Trust him and love him," I heard in my head.  I smiled as I realized
how easy that would be to do.

     We pulled into the airport twenty minutes later and I felt the
emotions start to overwhelm me.
     "God, this is going to be harder than I thought," I told myself.
     "God, this is going to be harder than I thought," Justin said out
loud.  "You don't realize how much you've meant to me....I mean,
us....You've been a great friend and we'll always remember you."  He pulled
Adam in for a hug and whispered, "I'll always remember you."
     Adam let a tear slip down his face as he pulled away.  "You guys were
pretty special to me too, you know?"  He pulled Lance in for a hug.  "You
keep them all in line, okay?  I want you back safe and sound after the
tour."  Joey came up next for a hug and I was surprised to see a tear in
his eye.  "Take care Joey.  You were a blast to hang around."
     "Don't say stuff like that, dude.  You're not leaving forever.  We'll
see you again."
     "Yeah, I suppose."

     JC walked up slowly and put his arms around Adam's back.  "You take
care, all right?  You were always my favorite manager....I don't want to
see anything but good happen to you."  He pulled away quickly as the tears
started flowing.  Adam couldn't speak as he started to hiccup and cry.
Chris finally came up and did his good-bye.

     "Thank you so much for understand me, Chris.  You don't realize how
open and honest you are.  Don't ever let that go."  These two hugged for
quite awhile and I was starting to get nervous.  I was the only one left
and I knew it would be difficult to say good-bye.  I had only known him for
a day but he had saved me from whatever might have happened in that alley.
How was I going to say farewell to him?

     "Matt?  I have to go soon."  He looked at me with tears in his eyes
and a smile on his face.  "You have nothing to worry about.  You're going
to be all right.  I'm....I'm just....just really going to miss you.  You'll
have to keep in touch, all right?"  I couldn't trust myself to speak so I
just nodded my head as the tears finally exploded.  I rushed into his arms
as he gave me a big hug.  I stroked his back as he softly "shhhed" in my
ear.  "Just love him," he whispered.  The words rang through my head as I
thought back to my two dreams.
     "Could it be him?"  I wondered.  "It couldn't be.  He's not a psychic
or anything."  I slowly pulled away as I heard the announcer call for his
flight.  I stared into my eyes and I had to laugh at his expression.  It
felt good to laugh, even though there was so much emotion going through the
group.  He leaned in and kissed my cheek before turning to leave.  He held
it there and then smiled at me one last time before turning.

     JC came over to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.  I
reached up and rested my hand on his arm as his head came around next to
mine.  I leaned into him and sighed as I stared at Adam's blue shirt slowly
fading in the crowd.  I heard Justin sob a little louder as he tried to
wipe away the tears.  Lance was standing next to Chris and Joey and they
were all silent.  Finally Adam was out of my sight and I let out another
sigh.

     "It's over....he's gone," I whispered.  JC quickly leaned down and
kissed away the tears on my cheek.  I looked up at him and our lips
connected again.
     "Yes, he's gone.  But it's not over yet.  We've still got some more
days here and we're going to make you so happy you came on this trip.  Now
we should head back to the limo so we can get the day started."

     I glanced once more at the crowd for a sign of Adam - I didn't see
any.  I let a final tear slip from my lashes as I turned to walk away.  JC
wrapped an arm around my shoulder but kept a safe amount of distance.  I
knew he was doing it because we were in public but I still hated the
feeling.  It would definitely take some getting used to.


To be continued....