Date: Tue, 22 Jun 1999 15:11:07 -0700 (PDT)
From: tumbler99@yahoo.com
Subject: 'N SYNC Savior - Part 5

Note: This is a complete work of fiction.  I am not implying that any
character within this story is gay or bisexual.  This is just my fantasy,
so let me have it!!!  I'm planning on making this a continuing plot, with
twists and turns and everything else thrown in.  So please, don't be afraid
to send any comments my way.  Since I've never been to New York I may need
a little help with some scenery and stuff.  Please e-mail me at
tumbler99@yahoo.com


'N SYNC Savior

Chapter Five

     We were interrupted as the door was thrown open.  Adam's head whipped
to the left as I slowly turned that way also.  Lance stood quickly as Joey
and Chris stared.  Justin walked through the door with a frown on his face.
He moved out of the doorway as he turned back to pull someone through the
door.  Grabbing hold of JC's shirt Justin led him to the middle of the
room.  I sat quietly in the chair as they walked up to me.  Chris had moved
out of the way, allowing JC to stand directly in front of me.
     I looked up at him, seeing his baby blue eyes peer into my own soft
sea-green's.  I felt a shiver run through my body as I he peered into my
soul.  I tried to tear myself away but it was a futile attempt.  His
powerful aura was too much for me; I couldn't move an inch.  I felt a gasp
escape my lips as he slowly kneeled in front of me.  Reaching softly for my
hand he lifted it slightly and held it in his soft, warm fingers.
Throughout this all we had not broken our stare, yet it lasted for another
long spell.  Finally, when I felt like my heart was about to burst, I saw
his mouth open as he began to speak.

     "That was incredibly rude of me, Matt," he started.  "I should never
have ran out of here.  I....I just....I don't know what came over me."  He
was starting to stutter as I stared into his eyes.  My heart was suspended
in mid-beat - my breath had become shallow and smooth.  I was in a trance
as he continued.  "It wasn't you....it really wasn't.  I need to make sure
you understand at least that much.  I just have some issues that I need to
work out and your story brought some of them to the surface.  Once again,
I'm sorry for making you feel worse than you already do."

     As his speech reached its end I felt myself become alive.  I started
shaking lightly, suddenly feeling cold.  I withdrew my hand and rubbed my
arms briskly, trying to warm up.  JC seemed a bit shocked as I pulled back
from him but he recovered quickly.  Before he did, though, I saw him glance
up at Adam, looking for any sign of movement towards me.  As I actually
looked into his face (which I could do when he wasn't staring into me) I
suddenly realized the truth.  "I suppose I should keep that in mind.  I'll
have to explain it to him whenever we're alone - IF we're ever alone."

     After recovering, JC stood up slowly and moved to the bed.  Once there
he continued to look in my direction, not dropping his head like he had
previously.  Lance was sitting again - he must have slipped into his seat
without me noticing.  Chris, once he'd moved over, was sitting Indian-style
on the floor to my left.  Joey was next to JC, peering at him
questioningly, on the verge of speaking.  Justin had brought another seat
to complete the circle we had formed.
     I looked around the group of guys and had to laugh.  Most of them had
eager expressions on their face - it was obvious they wanted to know more.
I looked over at Lance and received a comforting smile.  It was nice to
know that I would have a good relationship with at least one of the
singers.  Chris was looking up at me and grinning.  Okay, maybe two good
relationships.  Joey was still looking at JC who was finally returning his
gaze.  There were no words spoken but it was obvious that they were
communicating just fine without them.  Justin was staring at me and I could
tell he was dying to start asking questions.  I'd almost forgotten that he
hadn't been around to hear me talk about my life.
     But suddenly I remembered what had been happening before Justin
brought JC back.

     "Adam, we weren't finished yet.  And you aren't going to get off that
easy."
     Adam stared into my eyes and could see the determination I had to make
him understand how much I cared for him.  He laughed lightly and finally
gave in.
     "All right....all right.  You win.  I'm the special one and you're
nothing but a piece of trash I picked off of the alley floor.  Are you...."
     "Adam!!  What the hell are you trying to do - make him feel like an
outsider?"  Justin was angry - he no longer wore his beautiful smile.  He
was starting to stand but Chris stopped him by grabbing his knee.  Justin
looked down for a split second before glaring back at Adam.
     Lance broke the confusion by answering Justin's question.  "Of course
not Just.  We were talking to Matt while you were out chasing JC and Adam
dropped a bombshell on us.  Seems like ya'll aren't good enough for him so
he's going to leave.  Of course he's made it perfectly clear that it isn't
because of me," Lance joked.  He smiled over at Adam to make fun of his
crush on Lance.  "It seems like he wants to become a counselor or a
psychologist and take care of people."
     Joey broke in, finally done with his "conversation" with JC.
"Yeah....he's gonna go help some basket-cases and wackos.  Hey....do you
think we should keep him around here for Curly's sake?  What do you guys
think?"
     Chris and Lance started laughing as JC lightly punched him in the arm.
I smiled over at Justin.
     "Thanks for your concern, but you really had to be here for the first
half of our conversation.  Adam and I were talking about what happened last
night and how much we were going to miss each other.  I told him that I
would never forget him because he was so special, but he was trying to
convince me that I was the special one.  But I'm not going to take it.  All
I did was get myself into a huge mess that he had to bail me out of.
That's not special - that's stupid."
     "Stupid?  You couldn't have changed the outcome of last night," Justin
said, shocked.  "From what I understand Mark was going to do whatever he
had to do to get what he wanted.  I haven't known you for long but I think
I'm gonna have to agree with Adam on this one."
     Chris, Lance, and Joey all jumped in and voiced their opinions.  Each
of them, especially Lance, made it very clear to me that they were siding
with Adam and Justin.  JC was still sitting on the bed, quietly listening.
I didn't expect anything from him yet.  I could tell that it would take
some time before his chilly exterior thawed.
     "Well, I guess I lose then, don't I?  Five to one aren't very good
results."
     "Don't consider it losing," Adam said.  "Consider it winning.  You
were just told by five of the nicest guys in the world that you were
special.  You should be honored."
     
     I sat quietly and let that little fact sink into my thick skull.  So
much had happened in the past 24 hours that I had almost forgotten where I
was.  And who I was with. Surrounding me were 5 of the most famous men in
the nation right now.  Every girl (and many young men) under the age of 20
would die to be in my place right now.  I looked over at Lance and saw him
staring at me.  His blond hair was spiked in a crazy mess that didn't look
like it could ever be fixed.  He slowly brought a smile to his lips as he
stared into his eyes.  His skin was perfectly clear and smooth, crinkled
only with laugh lines.  I stared into his eyes once more and he suddenly
changed.  He wasn't Lance from ‘N Sync anymore.  He was Lance, a young
man from Mississippi who loved to ride horses and visit his family and hang
out with friends he could talk to.
     Then I looked over at Justin sitting across from Lance.  He was still
grinning but had toned it down a little.  I suppose he was just another
teen who was starving for attention from someone else his own age.  "He
hangs around a group of guys that treat him like a baby most of the time
just because he happens to be the youngest," I thought.  "He hasn't had
half the experiences that a normal teen has.  It's obvious he just wants to
talk and get to know me better."
     Joey was a different story, though.  I could tell he was sincerely
interested in other people.  When we were talking earlier in the afternoon
he had devoted his attention 100% to his friends and me.  He always had an
interesting topic to get a conversation started but the cool thing was that
he knew when to listen.  I remembered that Rosie O'Donnell had said that he
was just like every guy in her high school but she must have gone to an
unusual high school.  I was enjoying him thoroughly, but he was nothing
like some of my friends.  He just had that aura about him that exuded
confidence and love and knowledge and compassion.  Yes, different from
other people, but to me he was just a really cool friend.
     Chris was sitting on the floor still, staring into my face.  He had
that ability to pull away the shadows and the clouds that I put up to cover
the truth and my feelings.  If I hadn't known he was a singer I would have
thought he was a psychic or a median.  He also had an unusual aura
surrounding him, only his was one of serenity and calmness.  I wasn't
positive yet, but my gaydar was picking up some soft signals from him.  Or
maybe it was just the way he outed me so easily.
     JC was still a blank wall to me.  He had always been one of my
favorites when I was back home but he was confusing me now.  His deep love
of music was something I respected.  His ability to flow with the music and
tumble also made him one of my favorites.  Of course, his looks and voice
didn't hurt either.  But from the moment I met him this morning I was no
longer sure how much we had in common.  Yes, he had apologized for the way
he acted, but that didn't mean it explained anything.  Maybe he didn't have
the open personality that I had read about in all those magazines.
     "God, why did I have to be so obsessed with this group?  Everything
that I thought I knew about them is completely different from who they
really are.  I guess the only thing I can be happy about is that I'm liking
the real guys even better than the poster-boys I thought I knew."  I shook
my head lightly and stopped stressing about the situation.  "You're hanging
out with 6 awesome guys who are interested in you personally.  Don't worry
about anything and just be true to yourself," I reminded myself as I looked
back at Adam.
     
     I opened my mouth to apologize to him for being so difficult.  I heard
a low rumble that spread through the room like thunder.  My jaw dropped
open and I almost choked.
     "Chris?  Was that you?" I laughed.
     He smiled wildly and looked up at everyone.  "Yeah.  I guess I'm
getting a little hungry...."
     "Imagine that," Joey whispered to JC.
     Lance saw Chris snap his head up but interrupted him before he could
shoot back.  "Are you guys all hungry?  It's actually getting to be late in
the afternoon.  We should probably eat before the concert tonight."
     My jaw, which had slowly aligned itself, dropped back down when I
heard that.  I tried to speak but my mouth was too dry.  JC must have
noticed my situation because he cleared his throat to get the attention of
the rest of the group.  He looked into my eyes and spoke up for the first
time since he'd returned.
     "You are going to come watch, aren't you Matt?  I think I can speak
for everyone when I say we want you there."
     "Well, I'm not sure if you speak for the whole group after the way you
acted earlier, but in this case I think he's right.  You have to come watch
tonight," Chris joined in.
     I looked over at Chris and then at Justin who was kneeling now (he
looked like a little child on Christmas morning, waiting to open his
presents).  I glanced at Lance who seemed to know what I was thinking.
     "Don't worry about tickets.  You're my friend and I'll get you...."
     "YOU'RE friend?  What are you talking about?" Joey asked while
laughing.  "Just because we don't feel such a "brotherly" connection to him
doesn't mean he's not our friend."  Lance looked over to the bed and
started laughing loudly.
     "Well, it's obvious that he likes me the best...." he shot back.
     "Yeah right.  He won't like you half as much once he sees how weak you
are."
     Justin finally found his voice and looked at Joey questioningly.
"Weak?  What do you mean Joey?"
     "This...." and with that he leaped off the bed with a pillow in each
hand.  Jumping on top of Lance he officially started the pillow fight.
Though he was taken by surprise Lance quickly got the upper hand and pushed
Joey to the ground.  He grabbed one of the pillows and starting wailing on
the older singer without noticing Chris sneak up behind him.  He grabbed
Lance's waist and started tickling him, finding that one spot which made
Lance shriek like a girl.
     "Why, Lance....I always that you had the deep voice," I said, grabbing
my stomach as I started laughing hard.
     "I wouldn't be making fun of him," Justin said.  "You look like you
have a ticklish spot too."  He reached over and grabbed my wrists in one
hand, quickly moving his free hand over my sides and stomach, making me
giggle and squirm.  Adam came to my rescue quickly, pulling Justin to the
ground and sitting on his stomach.
     "His feet, Matt.  Get his feet."  I quickly pulled off Justin's socks
as I attacked the soft flesh by his arches.  He squealed with fake pain and
moved his body like a snake.  I swore he was going to knock Adam off of his
chest but I stopped before he could.
     "That's just a taste of what I can dish out.  You better watch
yourself whenever you want to get into a tickling match."  I smiled down at
Justin but once again felt my gaze being drawn to JC.
     
     He was still sitting on the bed but he no longer looked angry.  He had
a huge smile on his face and almost looked like he was ready to laugh.  I
stared into his eyes and smiled, letting him know that I wasn't angry with
him.  He smiled at me and I felt the world disappear.  Lance was still
laughing but it sounded like someone had turned down the volume on the
radio.  Justin was still squirming but I couldn't feel his legs brush
against my arm.  JC was the only thing I could see, or hear, or feel.  He
was the only thing registering in my brain.  I felt my lips separate as I
slowly inhaled.  I suddenly smiled as I knew what I had to do.  I wanted to
let him know that I was still willing to be his friend if he wanted.  I
couldn't say anything out loud, my tongue wasn't going to move at the
moment, so I winked.  I don't really know why I did it - it just happened.
But he just smiled wider and dropped his head a little.  I swore I saw his
cheeks blush.  As I felt a laugh rise in my throat the rest of the world
came with it.  I could suddenly hear Joey and Chris yelling as Lance
finally broke free from their grasp.  I could feel Adam ease off of Justin
as he pulled up his legs into a sitting position.  I looked over at the two
of them and smiled again, realizing how much fun I was having.  "Maybe this
won't be such a bad vacation," I thought.

     "Okay guys, I think we all know who won.  You've never been able to
beat Lance in a pillow fight Joey, I don't know why you had to go and
embarrass yourself in front of Matt," JC said quietly, acting more like a
manager than a band-mate.
     "I embarrassed myself?  That's calling the kettle black don't you
think?  At least I'm still on Matt's good side," he said as he looked in my
direction.  I would have returned his smile but I had once again stopped to
look at JC.  I smiled very big and would have winked again if everyone
wasn't watching us.  I knew that this was the time to actually speak,
officially telling JC that I forgave him.  But how was I going to do it?

     Adam had moved off of Justin as the tickling match came to an end.  He
was staring over at me and searching my face.  He did almost as good a job
as Chris did earlier in the day.  He saw my eyes glaze over as I looked at
JC's sweet smile.  He saw my face brighten when I heard the sound of his
voice.  He saw my body respond when our eyes connected once again.  He saw
it all and he knew.  As he softly closed his eyes he shook his head.  "I
was hoping this wouldn't happen," he thought to himself, "but I should have
known he would have had a crush on at least one of them.  And it had to be
JC, didn't it?  He had to be attracted to the one guy with the most
emotional problems, didn't he?"  As these thoughts flooded his head he
heard me speak.

     The group was looking over at me to see how I would respond to Joey's
statement and were shocked to see a smile on my face.  By then I had pulled
my gaze away from JC - they didn't see a boy staring at his crush, just an
extremely happy teenager.
     "Well, I'm not exactly sure what to say to that, but I know I have to
say something...."
     "No you don't," Lance interrupted.  "JC made a mistake and...."  I
stared into his eyes and he slowly trailed off his words.  "Oh, you do have
to say something, don't you?  I guess I didn't see it that way."  Lance
looked down at his lap, almost looking like he was ashamed of himself.  He
hadn't realized that even though I was hurt by what JC did, I couldn't be
mean to him or give him the cold shoulder.  "I guess we aren't totally
alike, are we?" he asked as a smile returned to his face.
     "Nope.  I guess you can call it that maturity thing.  But don't worry,
you'll catch up to me one of these days once you get older."  Without
laughing I turned back to JC.  I heard Chris and Justin chuckling and I
knew I had gotten Lance with that one.
     
     "JC....I am disappointed - I won't lie about that.  From everything
I've read and heard about you I figured you were the type of guy who would
always lend an ear or a shoulder, and be open to almost anything if it had
something to do with a loved one.  But, I suppose I shouldn't have assumed
that I was anything but a stranger from Kansas...."
     "Don't say that Matt," JC almost yelled.  "You're not just a stranger.
True, I haven't known you for long and I haven't even talked to you about
anything yet, but I know you're not a stranger.  The rest of the guys are
right - there is something special inside of you.  I'm just pissed off that
I let my emotions get the best of me earlier this morning.  It had nothing
to do with you - you have to believe that."  I saw the hurt in his eyes; I
could feel the pain in his voice.  My heart melted.
     "I know, I know.  But it still affects me, even if it had nothing to
do with me.  Justin told me that I didn't cause any of this - so did you -
but that doesn't mean I'm not a part of it now.  I haven't forgiven you
yet, Joey was right about that, but that doesn't mean I won't.  In fact,
I'll probably break within the hour and be one of your best friends.... if
you want me to be, of course."  I stopped my little speech and had to laugh
on the inside.  I had never been so open with anyone without knowing them
first but now that I knew how it felt, how completely exhilarating it was,
I wasn't going to stop.  "So, the ball is in your court JC.  I won't hold a
grudge against you if you won't hold one against me."  I stared into his
eyes as I waited for a response.  He peered back as he tried to read my
thoughts.  I held my lips tight, trying not to smile, and was actually
successful for once, but I still felt him pry into my soul.
     "You are a mystery Matt, I have to give you that.  But I could never
hold a grudge against you - I don't think you could ever be cruel enough to
make me.  And yes.... I would be honored to be in your close circle of
friends."

     "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN....WHAT YOU'VE JUST EXPERIENCED IS WHAT WE CALL
A BREAK-THROUGH!"  Chris was rolling on the ground and laughing so hard he
had tears seeping from his eyes.  His sudden yelling had completely ruined
the moment that I was sharing with JC but all was forgiven when I saw the
rest of the guys.  Although they weren't quite as hyper as Chris was I
could still see the joy in their eyes.  The tension was lifted from the
room as everyone laughed and talked.  Joey was lightly punching Lance in
the arm as Adam grabbed a hold of Justin once again.  Chris was still
rolling around in his own little world, one that I was beginning to believe
he spent a lot of time in.  I glanced up at JC once more and noticed him
staring at me.
     
     He had a slight smile on his face but it wasn't from laughing.  I
caught his eye as we both smiled wider.  I winked at him once more, letting
him know once and for all that he was still on my good side.  Then I leaped
out of the chair and onto Chris.  I grabbed his waist and started tickling
him in every hidden spot I knew about.  Within 10 seconds he was howling
with laughter as he tried to yell "Uncle."  When I had finally had enough I
leaned over and whispered in his ear.  "Justin's already received a dose of
my treatment.  How did you like yours?"
     He looked up at me as he slowly caught his breath, still trying to
suppress a giggle.  "Remind me to never be on your opposing side.  I don't
think I could handle another dose like that!"
     "Well," I laughed, "that's what you get for outing me in front of
everyone."
     He smiled wide and winked at me.  "Well, we have to take care of our
own, don't we?"

     Before I could ask him what he meant I heard Lance yelling.  Everyone
slowly picked themselves off the floor and arranged their disheveled
clothing.  He started barking out orders as everyone listened.  "It's 3
o'clock now and the concert starts at 7.  As you know we have to be there
by 5 for the sound check and such, so you have 30 minutes to get all
prettied up.  I don't want you to take longer than that, okay?  Of course,
I only need 2 or 3 minutes because, you know, I'm already gorgeous...." he
said, striking his "glamor" pose.
     "Uhh, yeah, sure.  Keep lying to yourself Scoop," Chris said as he ran
out of the room.  Joey and Justin followed, messing up Lance's hair as they
went.  I was still sitting on the floor as Adam looked down at me.
     "Go on ahead, Adam.  I remember what room you're in.  I just....I need
to talk to JC and Lance."  I saw Adam give me a questioning look but then
he must have remembered that I was a big boy because he slowly left the
room, shaking Lance's hand as he went.

     Finally it was just the three of us.  JC was sitting on the bed,
stretching his long legs out in front of him.  Lance was standing by the
door and looked at me curiously.  I slowly picked myself up from the floor
and looked at both of them.
     "I'm not quite sure what I'm doing here.  Like I said earlier, this
trip is supposed to be one where I come to terms with my life and learn
what it's like to be totally honest, so I guess that's the best explanation
I can give.  Lance, I really meant what I said earlier...."
     "About being a brother to me.  I know.  I feel the same way."  I
laughed as he interrupted me and finished my sentence once again.  He
laughed too as he realized what he did.
     "I didn't want you to think that I was just saying that earlier.  I
have a feeling that we're going to get along quite well in the next few
days."  I slowly turned towards JC.  "And you....I meant what I said to you
too, but I want to reiterate it.  Chris kind of interrupted us before we
were completely kosher."
     "Kosher?" Lance asked.  "You use that word too?"  I looked back over
at him and smiled before turning back to the bed.
     
     "I told the other three guys about my life back in Kansas while you
were....away....I just want you to know that I've been through a lot more
than you would believe and I have a lot to offer.  Even I'll admit that and
as you've seen, I don't like to take compliments or credit unless it's
completely deserved.  I'm not trying to sound conceited or anything, I just
want you to know that if you have any problems and you need to talk, like
the issues you mentioned earlier, my ear is always open.  I don't leave
friends in the dark when they're hurting...." I paused and wondered if I
should go on.  Before I could make a decision my mouth was already moving.
"And I can tell you're hurting....you're hurting really bad."  I looked at
JC as he stared at me, stunned.  I'm not sure what he thought I was going
to say, but I know that he wasn't expecting that little speech.
     
     "Well, I'll see you guys in twenty-three."  I walked out of the room
quickly and quietly, not making any noise on the soft, plush carpet.  JC
was still sitting on the bed with a lost expression on his face as Lance
started to laugh quietly.
     "You've got it bad, don't you?  He's affected you more in a few hours
than anyone else has in years."  Lance looked over at JC with love in his
eyes.  Not love from a lover - love from a brother.  "Don't be scared of
him, or of it.  He's got a lot to offer; anyone can see that.  Now go get
ready, you're down to," he glanced at his watch quickly, "uhh....23
minutes," he laughed, "just like Matt said."
     He slowly exited the room as he shook his head and wondered how I did
it.  JC was still on the bed - he hadn't moved an inch since I had left.


To be continued....