Date: Fri, 15 Dec 2000 03:16:52 -0500
From: Derik Blake <derikab@hotmail.com>
Subject: *Nsync with my Premonitions-chapter 17

November 1, 2000
Derikab@hotmail.com
*Nsync with my Premonitions-Unexpected Changes

OK, you know the usual.  Don't know, don't care.  This is fiction, i.e. not
real. If you have problems seeing any one of the boys gay, leave.  If you
have a problem seeing one of 'the' boys kiss another boy, leave.

I have gotten many more response from the last few chapters of this story.
I appreciate every one of you writing me and letting me know what you think
of it. Please keep me informed of how you like the story.  It really helps
an author.  I am glad that some people like it enough to let me know. Please
send my feedback, I love to hear from people.  I'll appreciate it.

Don't forget about the Fan Fic Awards 2000.  The voting starts is underway
and will end on December 16 so go and vote for me if you like the story.
The address is: http://www.envy.nu/ffawards2000.

Anyway, as usual, my site is up and running, and the next chapter is usually
posted there a couple days in advanced of Nifty.  If you write me, I will be
more than happy to add you to the list and notify you of any updates.  If
not, check out the site anyway.  While you are there, don't forget to sign
the guest book.  The link is http://Derikab.cjb.net.

Also, there are only two more chapters left to be posted.  I am kinda sad,
but I have something else on my mind to help keep the sadness at bay.  I am
writing another story with a friend of mine, (Hey, Jayce!!! 8-D), and we
hope to start posting it real soon.  We need to pick a title then set a
date.  That's it.  So, hopefully, before the year is up, or very soon after
it starts, you will see it.  Everyone already on my notification list will
know the title and when the first chapter is posted, so if you want to be a
part of it, just write me and let me know.

Now all that is out of the way, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Chapter Seventeen-Unexpected Changes

The next two days went by rather quick.  I had countless test done to me.
Doctors and nurses were poking and prodding me asking, "Does this hurt?"  I
really started getting tired of all the questions, and the x-rays, and the
needles.  Josh and I share one fear.  Needles.  I can't stand them.  He told
me that needles were made to intrude the skin.  Anything that intrudes the
skin he doesn't like.  Well, almost anything.

Neither JC nor I talked to Lance after we told him of the news.  He never
came back to my room and I wasn't allowed to leave unless it was with a
doctor.  JC gave up looking for him, saying, "He'll come around soon.  Like
you said, he needs time to adjust."

When I was finally released, I told everyone that the first thing I wanted
was real food.  So I suggested eating at the pier.  Although the sun was
out, it was too cold to sit outside.  We did decide to walk though.  I had
been cooped up in that room too long and I needed to be outside.  While we
were walking, I noticed Lance.  He was on the bus watching us walk away.  I
told Josh and the others that I would catch up to them.

"Are you ok," JC asked.

"Yeah.  I just want to see if Lance is ready to talk.  That's all."

JC glanced over to the bus and saw Lance looking.  He smiled and told me to
do my best, but not to be too long.  I told him that I would be there as
soon as I could.  He kissed me and he and the other eleven started their
walk over to the lake.

When I turned around, Lance wasn't looking through the glass anymore.  I
looked and noticed his head move on the bed.  When I got to the bus, the
door was cracked and I opened it and walked in.  The curtain was pulled, so
I walked to the back and peeked around.  Lance was laying face down, crying.
  I couldn't understand why he was so upset.  I wanted to turn and leave and
not disturb him, but I also really wanted to talk to him.  The second choice
got the better of me and I knocked on the side of the bus.

I heard Lance sniffle and sit up.

"Yeah?" he said, his voice breaking.

I pulled the curtain aside to let him see it was me.

"Oh, hey, Monty.  How you doin'?" he said, wiping the rest of his tears
away.

"No so good," I responded.

"What's wrong?" he asked, concern flooding his face.

"Well, ever since JC and I told you, you've sort of been ignoring us.  Now I
see you and you're crying.  What's wrong Lance?"

"Oh, it's nothing.  I guess I got something in my eye, again."

I laughed at our inside joke and he joined me.  I sat on a small bench
located right next to the bed and started talking again.

"Seriously, Lance.  What's wrong?"

"It's nothing," he said, giving me a smile.

In a lower, stern voice, I said, "James.  I hate seeing you like this.
Please talk to me."

Reaching over the head of the bed, he got a tissue and wiped his nose, then
started fidgeting with the paper cloth in his hands.

"It's silly, really."

"How?  It's got to be something to make you cry like this."

"What you said in your room was right.  You were the guy that I fell in love
with.  Remember the day you let your premonition slip?  When you and Tom got
in that fight?"

I nodded.

"After you pulled me back in the arena, you sat me down and promised me and
Justin that nothing was going to happen to us.  I believed you.  I knew you
were telling the truth.  I've had feelings for you ever since.  I kept them
to myself because I didn't want you or JC to find out.  I was afraid that
you two would hate me."

He blinked and two tears fell down his cheek.  He fell back on the bed and I
came over and sat down next to him.  I put my hand on his cheek and wiped
his tears away.

"Lance, we could never hate you.  Josh loves you too much to hate you.  And
I...I knew I've loved you for about a year now," I said, pulling my hand
back and dropping my head.  "I'm just sorry that I didn't tell you."

Lance sat up looking at me.  His mouth hung slightly open and he looked like
he couldn't speak.

Looking down, himself, he said, "Josh doesn't love me anymore, anyway.
There's no point in trying."

"That's where you're wrong.  After you left my room, Josh began to cry and I
couldn't figure out why.  I asked him and he told me that he never stopped
loving you.  He's loved your for about seven years now."

Lance dropped his head even further and started crying again.  I put my arm
around him and he fell into the hug, letting his face land on my chest.

"I know you still love him, Lance.  Everyone knows.  Everyone but Josh.  You
need to let him know.  You two need to sit and talk."

Quietly, head still on my chest, he asked, "What about you?"

"What about me?" I asked.

"How do you feel... about... me?"

I pulled his head up by his chin and looked in his eyes.  "I fell in love
with you right here in this room.  About a year ago, we had that fight and
you told me that I was your problem and I told you that I wouldn't bother
you for the rest of the tour.  After I left, I looked back around the
curtain and saw you crying.  I wanted to come over and hold you so bad, but
I couldn't.  I thought you hated me."

"The reason I treated you like that," he started, pulling away from me and
sitting up, "was because, I figured that if I treated you bad, maybe I
wouldn't love you as much.  I was so scared that you or JC would find out."

"Neither one of us could want anyone better to... complete us.  James," I
started.  He looked over and I stared in his emerald eyes and said, "I love
you."

He started at me for a minute before he and I both leaned in toward each
other.  Within seconds, our lips met and we had our first real, soft,
meaningful kiss as soul mates.  I closed my eyes and let the feeling take me
completely.  It wasn't a passionate kiss, but a gentle, loving one.  After a
few wonderful moments, I pulled away and pulled Lance in a hug.  He put his
arms around me and softly whispered.  "I love you, too, Monty."

I smiled and turned my head so that it could lie on his shoulder.

"You know you still owe me one," I said, pulling out of the hug.

"How?" he asked.

"Remember that deal we had in Atlanta over a year ago?"

He started to smile from remembrance.

"Well, I did save your life.  So it looks like you owe me," I said, smiling.

"I guess so.  What about Justin?"

"Nah.  I already got two guys.  I don't need a third," I said winking at
him.

He just laughed his deep laugh and wiped the rest of his tears away.

"Well, we decided to go and eat at the pier before heading home.  Will you
join us?"

"Sure.  I'm about to starve."

"Great," I said standing and extending my hand.

He grabbed it and we walked all the way to the lake just like that.  Hand in
hand.

Once we located the group, Joey saw us first and asked if everything was all
right.

"Yeah.  Monty and I talked and I feel a lot better."

"What was bothering you?" Justin asked.

Looking at me, Lance asked, "Do they know?"

"JC and I thought that it would be best if you told them.  When you were
ready."

Looking back at the group, JC stood up and looked at us.  I smiled and he
returned the gesture.

"Well, it looks as if I'm the third one," he said with a smile.

The group took a minute before letting this sink in, but when it finally
hit, Chris asked, "How do you know for sure?"

"Well, Monty had to tell me.  He's the one that knew.  He'll have to
explain."

With everyone's eyes focused on me, I said, "I'll tell you right after I get
some food.  I can't wait any longer.  We'll be back in a minute or so."

I pulled Lance by the hand and he and I started walking to get some food.
When we came back, Lance put his food down and immediately gave JC a hug.  I
heard him whisper that they needed to talk later.  JC just nodded and
smiled, holding on to Lance like he was about to move out of his life,
forever.  Our circle was finally complete and it showed in all our faces.

After the hug was done, JC and Lance sat on either side of me and everyone
was waiting for an explanation.  I took a bite of my burger before starting.
  I told them about what happened when I died.  Lance, my brother, and JC
already knew the story so they just listened for the second time.  When I
told them about dad, I could see mom loose interest in her food.  She
started forming tears with what I told her and I begged her not to cry.  She
quickly wiped her tears away, gave a soft smile and continued to listen.
When I told them that dad was the reason for Mike, it was him that let a
tear escape.

After the family information was released, I started on how Lance was the
one that completed the circle.  Everyone listened and couldn't believe what
they were hearing.  After I finished, I reached and grabbed JC's and Lance's
hand and just held them under the table.  When I looked around, everyone at
the table was crying, except for Lance, JC, my brother and myself.

Mom was the first to do anything.  She stood up and came over to hug me.  As
she did, she let a few tears escape.  I calmed her down and she pulled away.
  She hugged JC next and then, finally, she hugged Lance.  When she pulled
away from him, she said, "Welcome to the family."  I smiled, along with
Lance.

Justin was the next to follow suit.  After him, everyone at the table ended
up giving us a hug.  After all the exchanges of hugs, we sat and finished
our food.  We all had some interesting conversations.  While we were eating,
it started snowing outside.  At this point, we were dreading having to walk
back to the bus, but knew we needed to leave.  So, without hesitation, we
all bundled up and walked back to the hospital.

JC offered to let mom ride with us, but she said that she was going to ride
with Mike and Lance.

"Why did you ask her?  If she had said yes, she would've bugged us to
death."

"I just thought that mom would like to ride with us, that's all."

"Well, if you really want to save anyone, ask Lance if he wants to ride.
That'll save him from mom and Mike."

"Hey, Lance?" Lance called.

"Yeah?"

"You wanna ride with us on the bus?  The sleeping arrangements might not be
the best, but at least you can move a little more."

Lance looked over at mom and Mike, somehow awaiting their approval.  He was
twenty-one and didn't need it, but he was always thinking about her feelings
first.

"Go ahead," mom said.

Lance grew a big smile and went to give her a hug.  "Thanks mom," he said,
before running over to us.

"Mom, I've got my cell..." searching my pockets, I couldn't find it.
"Someone has my cell phone if you need us for something."

"Ok, honey.  Ya'll be careful.  Be good Lance," she said.

Both Lances called out at the same time, "I will, mom."

She just smiled and jumped in the car.

"Drive safe, Mike," I told him.

"I will.  Ya'll be careful, too."

"We will," JC assured him.

We watched as Mike and mom pulled off for their drive back to GA.  Turning
we found the rest of the group waiting to say their good byes.

"So," Tony started, "what are you going to do?  Come back to Nashville or go
on to Orlando?"

Looking at JC and Lance, I answered, "I'll probably come back home first.  I
need to get my car anyway before I go anywhere."

"Well, I guess we'll see you either tonight or tomorrow morning then,"
Mitchell said.

"Yeah, I guess so," Lance said, putting his arm across my back.  I put mine
across his and pulled him closer.

"Well, give me some lovin' cause this bitch is cold.  I need to get in the
car," Tony said, making everyone laugh.

We said our goodbyes and gave each of them a hug.  When Pat came to me, he
told me, "You're still a bitch, ya know?"

"Why?" I asked, smiling.

"Not only do you have JC, but now you got Lance, too."  Lance and JC both
started laughing.  "It's just not fair," he said, pouting.

"I heard that," Steve said.

Without turning around, Pat looked up and said in a nonchalant voice, "I
love you."  I looked over at Steve and he was smiling.  After Pat said what
he had to say to Steve, he looked back at me.

"Well," I said, putting my arms around both Lance and JC and pulling them
closer to me, "maybe not for you, but its heaven on earth for me."  I smiled
big at Pat and he gave me a hug.  While on my shoulder, he whispered, again,
in my ear, "Bitch."

I just smiled.  Everyone else was getting cold and started to get on the
bus.  I stood there and just looked as my friends got in their cars and
drove off.  I didn't really care about the cold.  I was just glad to be
alive.

"C'mon, honey," JC said, sticking his head back out the door.

I waved bye one last time to the two cars leaving.  Out of the driver side
window, Pat stuck his hand out and waved.  Tony honked the horn, and then
they turned the corner and vanished.

I turned around and saw JC standing there with a mischievous grin on his
face.

"What?" I asked, walking to him.

"You.  That's all.  Just you."

"Well, 'just me' is getting cold.  Lemme in," I said.

He reached out his hand and pulled me in the bus.  Before moving up any more
steps, he pulled me into a kiss.  His lips were soft against my dry cold
ones, but after a few seconds of contact, they finally warmed up.  He pulled
me into a hug and told me that he loved me.

"Je t'adore, Mio amore," I said.

"Me, too," was all he said before leading me to one of the couches.

Calling up to Andre, I said, "Let's go before anything else happens to me in
this city."  Andre and the others looked at me and started to laugh.  I
didn't
ever want to visit Chicago again.  I wanted to stay in the South for as long
as possible, with my soul mates.

After we were all settled, Andre put the bus in gear and we were off,
heading back home.

The next morning, Andre pulled up to my house and JC, myself and both
Lances' got off the bus.  We got the things we needed and told the others
that we would see them soon in Orlando.

Over the next few days, I was busy packing the things I needed.  I was
officially moving to Florida, whether I liked it or not.  Although I didn't
care, as long as I was with Lance and Josh.

During our last night at the house, we decided to go to Tony's restaurant
for dinner.  During our conversations, I explained that Tony and Mitchell
could stay in the house, since I owned it, but it was opened for us to come
back to, to get away when needed.

After the night ended, everyone retreated to their rooms for sleep.  My
brother, Lance, used the spare bedroom and Tony and Mitchell used their own.
  JC and I were in my room.  Lance had chosen the couch every since the
first night.

"I haven't been an a relationship in a few years.  I just need a little time
to get acquainted with the idea of sleeping with someone else.  Two someone
elses."

"Well, the bed is big enough if you change your mind," I offered.

"Thanks, but I just need some time," he said, smiling.

The next morning, we started out about 10:00 am so we could do our best to
miss the traffic in all the major cities.  We did fairly well.  When we
finally arrived in Savannah it was 8:00pm.  Mom asked if we wanted to stay
the night and get started early, but we declined, saying we only had four
more hours before we were home.

When we walked in JC's apartment, it was just after midnight, and we were
all beat.  We left the car to unload until the morning; we just wanted to go
to bed.  Again, Lance chose the couch versus sleeping with us.

Over the next month, we all decided that JC's place was getting too small
and we decided to go looking for a house.  We finally decided on a four
bedroom, four bath house on the outskirts of town.  It was a nice
neighborhood that was scattered with houses.  They weren't lined next to
each other.  We actually had about three acres to work with.

Since I was the one with the least amount of money, I withdrew about a
hundred thousand to put down on the house.  Once the deal was complete, JC
said that he would pay the rest.  Lance offered to split it, but Josh
refused.  I actually had to talk him into letting me put down the deposit.
But after I insisted for the umpteenth time, he finally caved in.  I wanted
to put something into what was going to be ours.

On the deed to the house, all three names were listed as equal owners.
There were finally two things that belonged to the three of us.  Something
that no matter how hard, no one could ever take away.  The house, and our
love.

On our first night there, the house itself was scarcely decorated, but I
already had plans in the works for a room or two and the others had their
own ideas for some of the others.  Josh and Lance both insisted on making
the basement a recording studio.  I had no problems with that, so that was
the first thing they tackled, while I worked on getting some of the other
rooms, including the master bedroom, ready and livable.

After Lance and JC had discussed the plans for the studio, we all decided to
go and pick up some food and order a few movies.  We were too tired to
really do much else.  So we piled in Lance's car and took off for town.

We decided on Chinese so while the other two were looking for movies, I
stayed behind and got the food.  After they picked out two, they came back
to pick me up.

"What movies did you pick out?" I asked, after getting settled in the back.

"Ghost," Lance answered.

"And?" I questioned.

"Threesome," JC said, turning his head showing his smile.

"Oh, how appropriate," I said.

"Lance said the same thing."

"See, I knew we were soul mates," I said, looking at Lance in the mirror.

He just flashed a smile and kept driving.

When we got settled at home, we ate our dinner and watched threesome first.
Afterwards, we watched the second one.  Every time Whoopie came on the
screen, we would always die of laughter.  During the movie, I noticed how
close I was to being Patrick's character.  I had died and was watching the
guys.  I couldn't do anything to contact them or talk to them or anything.
I finally, for the first time, realized his frustration, seeing as how I
experienced it first hand.

After the moved ended, I dried my tears and decided to stretch out on the
couch, putting my legs over Lance and JC.  We sat talking about nothing
really, just making small talk.  During our talk, Lance started rubbing my
thighs and JC was massaging my lower legs.  Once we ran out of things to
talk about, I closed my eyes and laid my head on the arm of the couch.  When
I lifted my head, I saw that Lance was staring at me.  We just locked eyes
for a moment or two, before I leaned in for a kiss.

Our lips made contact, but I quickly pulled back an inch so I could look in
his eyes.  After another second, I saw the longing showing through the
emerald green, and decided not to make him wait any longer.  I leaned in and
we locked lips.  This time the loving, gentle kiss was absent.  In it's
place, passion took over.

During our kiss, JC just stroked my legs and watched us.  After a few
minutes, Lance pulled out of our contact and turned to his first lover.  He
leaned over and he and Josh started kissing.  Their kiss was the same as it
had been between Lance and I.  Full of passion and love mixed together with
the longing that we were all feeling.

Once they broke their kiss, Josh slipped out from underneath me and came
over to kneel down next to the arm of the couch.  He leaned in and started
kissing my neck.  I reached over and grabbed Lance's hand.  I intertwined
our fingers as JC moved up to meet my lips.  After the love of the kiss had
worn off, it was replaced by passion.  Then lust completely over came our
lip embrace.

When he broke our contact, my eyes were still closed.  I opened them only
because Josh stood and reached out a hand to each of us, saying, "C'mon,"
with a smile.  Lance and I each grabbed a hand and followed JC into the
master bedroom.  Once we were in the room, Joshua shut the door.

I will never forget March 4, 2002.  It was the night we three made love as
one.  After we were done, we fell asleep.  Josh on the left side of the bed,
me on the right and Lance snuggled tightly in the middle.

Over the next two to three weeks, we were finished with the decorations.  We
had decided on plush leather for the living room.  We went with earth tones.
  We didn't want anything to loud or to gloomy.  The master bedroom was
painted off-white with a border lining the top of the wall with horses and
dogs on a fox chase.

Since the studio was going to be JC's office, I decided to decorate it
without him knowing.  He was just going to leave it empty with nothing on
the walls.  Just a cloth couch and his recording equipment.  In the corner
of the room, sat an upright piano.  He loves to sit there and write his
music.  He would sit there for hours until Lance or I came and got him for
dinner or some appointment they had.

One day, they had appointments all day, so I knew I had a good ten to twelve
hours to tackle that studio.  I had already talked to Lance and told him of
my plans.  He thought it would be great, so once they left, I watched them
drive off and waited for them to turn the corner before I went for it.

All during the day, I was working on that room.  I wanted to surprise JC,
and this was the best way that I knew how to do it.  I knew he was going to
love it.  I could feel it.  After a good nine hours of working, I was
finally through.  I headed upstairs and got my shower and waited for them to
return.

When they finally did, I had a small supper waiting, but Josh breezed right
by saying he wasn't hungry.  I thought that was kinda odd, but thought
nothing of it.  I watched him as he headed straight for the bedroom.  A few
minutes later I heard the water running.

After Lance stepped in the house, I grabbed a few things out of his hand and
asked what was wrong with JC.

"We've both just had a real hard day.  First we had to work on some of the
album, get some of the last bit of musical tidbits taken care of, and then
management rushed us off to countless interviews without giving us warning.
They completely bombarded JC with questions about you and him..."

"Why?  He came out three months ago.  Why not then?"

"After he came out, you were in the accident and then we went right in and
bought the house.  This is really the first interviews that we've been to
since the Oprah show.  He's just tired.  After those months of doing
nothing, he's just got to readjust.  He'll be fine."

"Well, I'm gonna go and check on him, anyway.  Dinner's in the stove," I
said, pecking his lips.

"Whatcha make?"

"Lasagna," I said, spinning on my heal and smiling at him.

He clapped his hand and started rubbing them together.  He couldn't wait.

When I entered the bedroom, I immediately started getting undressed.
Without him noticing, I eased the bathroom door opened and walked around the
wall to the open shower.  When he saw me he just said he wasn't in the mood.

"Well, actually I came in here to give you a massage.  I just didn't want to
get my clothes all wet."

"That sounds fantastic.  I could sure use one," he said, putting his arm on
the wall and leaning against it.

I walked up behind him and started to knead his muscles.  This day really
was hell on him.  He was tight.  Only the night before, he was finally
relaxed.  I guess he forgot about today and it didn't worry him until it was
half over.  I worked my way down his lower back.  Each time I hit his
shoulder blades, though, he would let out a sigh.  I wasn't meaning to get
him excited, but just wanted to make him relaxed.

After about fifteen minutes, I pulled away and reached for the soap.  So
that he wouldn't have to move, I started washing him.  I turned him around
and told him to rinse his back and lean against the wall.  He did as he was
told and I washed his front.  After I was done, I leaned in to give him a
kiss on the neck, then snuggled close.  He wrapped his arms around me and
told me thanks for the massage and then told me he loved me.

I reached over with my lips and gave him a kiss.  After we broke contact, I
told him that dinner was ready and after there would be a surprise.  He
pulled me back a little to look at my face, but I didn't show anything but a
smile.  He rinsed off once again and reached over to turn the water off.  We
both stepped out and dried off.  He was so tired that he just threw on some
sport shorts and his bathrobe.  I slipped on some jeans and no shirt.

We walked in the kitchen to fix our plates and noticed that one third of it
was already missing.  We dug in and ate a good dinner.  I was so excited to
show the surprise that I practically wolfed down my dinner in hopes that he
would eat faster.  It didn't work.  I had to sit there with Lance as we
watched Josh take his time.

While he finished, we were talking about their schedule.  Lance was telling
me that they only had one more song to record before the album was complete.
  Then he started listing off appointments for the next couple weeks.  I
told him that I wanted to go back to Nashville the second week in April to
finish getting everything I needed from the house. He thought for a minute
then told me they were clear for that week.

After Lance finished talking, Josh finally joined the conversation by
asking,
"What's this surprise you have for me?"

"Well, it's from both of us, actually and you won't find out until you
finish your dinner."

As I said that, JC took the last bite of his lasagna and announced that he
was done.  Lance cleared the table and then waited for us to get up.  When
we did, I asked if Josh was going to be working on his music tonight.

"I really don't feel like it.  I just wanna go to bed soon.  After the day
we had, I'm exhausted."

"Well, after this, you can go to bed if you want," I told him.

He reached over and grabbed my hand and asked about the surprise again.  I
pulled him to the basement door and told him to go first.  He looked between
Lance and I with a puzzled look, but shrugged his shoulders and headed down
stairs.  At the bottom, he looked around and noticed nothing seemed out of
the ordinary.

"Now what?" he asked.

"It's in the studio," Lance said.

JC started walking over to the studio, but still didn't notice anything
different.

"In the booth," I told him.

He walked in and once he flipped the lights on, he froze.  When he finally
came to his senses, he looked around the room in awe.  He walked up to one
of the three walls that I decorated and looked at each frame.

I had taken it upon myself, with Lance's approval, to take some of Josh's
collection of Hard Rock Café menus and placed them in frames.  I had hung
them up in a set of four, making a circle.  In the middle of the circle of
four, I had hung one of his or Lance's platinum record plaques.  He looked
at each one, carefully examining them as if he had never seen them before.

Once he was done looking at the décor, he had tears in his eyes.  I walked
up to him and asked what was wrong.

"It's... just beautiful.  You did this for me.  You took worthless pieces of
plastic and some of our plaques and made it look wonderful."

"Josh, I know how much you love your menu collection and I know that each
plaque means something very special to you.  I wanted you to feel like this
is yours.  We finally have a house and this is your office.  I wanted it to
feel comfortable for you.  Someplace that you would love to be whenever you
stepped in here.  I did this for you because I love you, and Lance.  I want
us to start feeling like a family now."

"We do, Monty," Lance said, joining our conversation.  "Because of you, we
are a family.  No one will be able to take that away from us."

As he was saying that, Lance walked up to us and put a hand on JC's
shoulder.  When he was through, JC took us both into a hug thanking us and
telling us how much he loved us.

Pulling out of the hug, I asked, "So, Lance.  How'd I do?"

"It looks great.  I would never have thought it would look this good.  Not
even when you described it to me," he said smiling.  Looking over at Josh,
he still saw tears in his eyes.  He reach up and gently wiped them away.
Concerned, he asked, "Is there something else that's bothering you, Josh?"

Looking at both of us, he said, "No.  There's nothing bothering me, it's
just I'm probably the happiest man in the world right now.  I haven't been
this happy since... I don't know when."

After he answered, he kissed Lance then me and we headed out to go to bed.
As the last one out of the studio, I turned and grabbed the door, took a
quick look around again, smiled, flipped off the light and gently pulled the
door behind me.

The following day, I woke up late.  I was having trouble sleeping and even
had the reoccurring dream of my father's suicide.  I don't understand why I
was still having them, but I didn't let it get to me too much since I saw
dad again.  I guess it was just a reminder of how much I still miss him.

When I finally woke, it was after noon and I was shocked to see that I had
slept so much.  I quickly jumped out of bed and went straight for the
shower.  Once I was done, I threw on some comfy clothes and went looking for
everyone.  I looked all around the house but JC and Lance were nowhere to be
found.  I checked outside and their cars were still here, with a few other
ones in the driveway.  I figured that it must be the rest of the *Nsync'ers,
so I trampled my way down the stairs and there they were.  I walked in and
they were just looking at the booth.  Justin was carefully studying each
menu as he walked by and was reminiscing about the plaques.

When I came into view, JC took me in a hug.

"Good morning, babe," he said with a happy smile.

"Morning, yourself."

"Monty, you did all this?" Chris asked.

"Yeah.  I had the idea. I ran it by Lance and he thought it would be great
and then I did it yesterday while you guys were busy."

By this time, JC moved around to my back and wrapped his arms around my
waist and put his chin on my shoulder.  I wrapped my arms over his and
watched the guys.

"This is really amazing," Justin said.  "I can't believe how great it
looks."

"Thanks," I said.

Justin and the others went back to admiring the walls and JC fell silent.
After a couple minutes, Lance walked up and asked what he was thinking
about.

"Just thinkin' about all that you and I went through when we first got
together.  And what Monty and I have been through this past year.  I would
never have guess that you and I would become soul mates, Lance.  I've always
loved you, you know that, but soul mates?"

"I know what you mean, Josh.  I wouldn't have guessed it either.  But after
Monty came in the picture and you both told us the story of the good Madame,
I started getting clues."

"How so?" I asked.

"Well, for one," after a moments pause, thinking of how to say it, he
continued, "I knew that you were going to be in that car wreck," he said,
looking at me.

"How?" JC asked.

"I dreamt it."

"You had a premonition?" I asked

"I think so, but at the time, I didn't know that's what it was.  I just
thought it was some weird dream.  After you got in the wreck, I knew there
was a connection and I felt so guilty for not telling you about it."

"Was that your first one?" I asked.

"I think so.  No, I take that back.  I have had one before that, but I
didn't realize it until a few days ago.  When I was younger, about eleven or
twelve, I had a dream that I now know was a premonition."

"What was it about?" Josh asked.

"Well, I dreamed that I was in love with someone, but something didn't make
sense.  I was with some guy but the phrase 'soul mates 3' kept appearing.  I
had no clue what it was about, until we three found out.  It just sort of
hit me a few days ago that we are the soul mates three.  That and your email
address," he said to JC.

"Oh, that reminds me.  Hold on, I'll be back in a sec," Josh said leaving
the room.

Lance and I looked at each other and shrugged it off then went to join the
others in their own conversation.  After a few minutes of talkin, minus
Josh, he walked back in and joined us.  He came up to me and put his arm
across my back.  When there was a pause in the conversation, he spoke up and
got our attention.

"Well, this is something that I've wanted to do for a while now, but every
time I tried to, something's come up."  Looking at me, he continued, "This
past Christmas was supposed to be our first Christmas together.  I was
planning a big day for us.  We were going to exchange gifts.  I was gonna
attempt dinner."
Justin giggled at the thought of JC cooking.  "And after dinner, I was gonna
drive us somewhere where we could look at the stars."

"That sounded like it would've been romantic," I said.

"Well, while we were there, I was gonna give you this," he said, reaching in
his pocket.  He pulled out a small velvet box.  I pulled away from him to
stand right in front, waiting for my puzzled thoughts to be answered.  The
rest of the group was having the same puzzled looks on their faces, when it
was revealed.

With one hand, he held the box and the other opened it.  When it was
exposed, I didn't know what it was.  It was too big to be a ring, and still
too big to be a charm for a necklace.  After looking, I decided to ask.

"It's three rings, that when connected, makes this."  I finally saw how it
worked and he showed Lance.  When Lance saw it, he started getting teary
eyed.  The phrase, 'Soul Mates 3' was engraved on the rings and he finally
found where the meaning came in to play.

"I was gonna give you the 'Soul' and as I was putting it on, I was gonna ask
you to marry me."

When he said that, I looked up in his bright blue eyes and just stared in
disbelief.  He was gonna propose.  A big smile slowly appeared across his
face when he removed one of the three and placed it on my finger.

"I don't know if I still can propose because there are three of us now.  If
they ever legalize gay marriages, I don't think they would allow three
people to get married.  But since it doesn't seem like it will be anytime in
the near future," he paused, got down on one knee and grabbed my hand.  He
looked deep in my eyes and they asked the question before his lips moved.
"Montgomery Andrew Blake, will you do me the honor of being my friend, lover
and soul mate for the rest of our lives?"

Without a moment's hesitation, I fell to the floor and swept him in a hug
repeating 'yes' over and over to make sure he heard me.  He just laughed and
returned my embrace.  After I was sure he heard me, I gave him a long,
loving kiss then went back to hug him.  I never wanted to let him go.  The
guys watching, just laughed at my enthusiasm, and chatted quietly to
themselves.

When I finally released JC, I stood up and reached down to help him up, but
he refused.  He turned to the left, still on his knees and grabbed Lance's
hand.  Looking in his eyes, he repeated the same question.  Lance was in
shock.  I didn't think that he was expecting it also.  When Lance finally
was able to answer, he said yes and JC placed the word "3" on his finger.
When Josh stood, Lance took him in a hug as well.

"I love you, Lance," Josh told him.

"I love you, too, Josh," Lance repeated.

Then they gave each other a kiss full of love and hope for what the future
will bring.  While they were hugging, I pulled the box out of JC's hand and
held it until their contact was broken.  After they broke, I looked at Lance
and handed the box over to him, saying, "He was your first love.  Why don't
you ask?"

Lance smiled and removed the last ring from the box and I walked over to
stand next to him in front of Josh.

"I think we all know the answer, but to make it official... Joshua Scott
Chasez, will you do us the honor of being our friend, lover and soul mate
for the rest of our lives together?"

As Josh said yes, Lance slipped the ring with the word 'mates' on his
finger.  After it was done, JC pulled us both in a hug.  After a few moments
of just having contact with one another, we all pulled apart and turned
around.  With everything that just happened, we, or at least I, had
forgotten that anyone else was here.  When I saw the guys, they were just
smiling silently.  Justin even had a tear on the corner of his eye.

After a few seconds of silence, Joey was the first to break it with a big,
"Congratulations."  Then he and the other two came to give us each a hug.
After we had received our hugs and congrats, Chris suggested that we go and
celebrate.  We decided that that would be a good idea and we piled into two
cars and started for town.

After all the celebration died down, we started getting back into the
routine of the appointments and such.  Well, the days and weeks of meetings
and appearances came and went.  All the guys were exhausted from the
interviews, the signings, the management meetings and the recording
sessions.  They were just happy to be taking a little time off.

It is now the first week in April and the following week, the three of us
are going to Nashville to finish getting my things so I can officially
become a Floridian.  We were going to leave in three days, Saturday, and
hoping to return on Tuesday or Wednesday.  The guys had one last meeting
with management on Saturday morning then we were leaving.

After the meeting was done, I was waiting in Lance's 4-Runner which we
decided to take.  When the guys came out, Josh informed me that the others
wanted to come with us just to get away for a few days and to see Tony and
Mitchell.  I told him that it was fine with me and Tony and Mitchell would
love it.  They said they knew the way there, so they would be up a little
later that evening.  Chris, Justin and Joey had to go and pack a bag and get
a few things before joining us in Nashville.

When they bided us farewell, we got on the highway on the way to the Country
Music Capital.  On the way there, I called Tony and informed him of the
other three that were going to join us and he said that he was going to make
sure the house was ready for them.  After I got off the phone, I called Pat
and Steve and asked if they wanted to join us for a few days.  They agreed
and said that they would be there the next day.  After my phone calls were
made, I settled back and waited for the long drive to be over.

During our ride, I noticed that Josh was unusually quiet.  I thought he was
just tired from the past month or so, so I didn't think anymore about it.
We finally arrived about 8:00 that evening and the other three showed up
about two hours later.  After they arrived, we had a quick dinner and headed
for bed.

On Sunday, Pat and Steve showed up and we all just hung around the house.
We watched movies, played the piano and the guys even played a couple of
songs from the new album for my friends.  That night, we had a cookout and
stayed in.  This was a little vacation for the guys and they didn't want to
do anything.  When the day was done and it was time for us to go to bed,
Lance, Josh and I made love as quiet as possible as to not disturb any of
the others.  After we were done, we fell asleep holding onto each other and
snuggled tightly together.

The following day, I woke up and waited until about 10:00 to call mom to see
how she was doing.  After about half an hour of talking, she had to go and
get some lunch started.  I let her go and called my brother.  After talking
to him for a few, we got off the phone and I came and sat next to Josh on
the couch.

"So how's mom and Lance?" he asked.

"They're ok.  It's still hard on us, but everything's fine."

"What's still hard?" Justin asked.

I looked at the guys and told them, "Three years ago today, my father died.
It happened in the basement.  So every year since, I've always called them
to talk for a few minutes to help bring their spirits up a little."

"I'm sorry, Monty.  I didn't know..."
"It's ok, Justin.  I never told any of you guys when it happened.  Since the
hospital thing, I actually feel better.  I know dad is watching over us and
that things will be ok.  I still miss him, but I know he sees me," I said
smiling.

A silence fell over the guys and they just looked away.  They each looked as
if they had guilt in their expressions as if they should have known.

"Guys, it's ok.  Really.  I'm fine," I said to reassure them.  They each
gave me a smile and just looked away, still not meeting my gaze.  I didn't
do anything else.  I just sat there waiting for the tension to be broken by
something.

After a few minutes, Tony asked what we wanted to do tonight.  Joey asked if
we could go to the restaurant and have dinner.  Tony said that it would be
fine and then asked if we wanted to go out afterwards.  Chris, Joey and
Justin all said yes at the same time, causing the rest of the group to
smile.  We all eventually agreed and just waited for the evening to come.

Once it was time, we all headed over to the restaurant and got a nice
dinner.  Chris and Joey didn't want to wait until the clubs to start
drinking, so they each got themselves a beer.  I agreed and ordered me one,
too.  During dinner, we all made some small talk.  Justin, Joey and Chris
were anxious to get to the club, so they ate a little faster than the rest
of us.  During dinner, we had a few unexpected guests come to the table and
ask for some autographs.  The guys didn't mind at all.  They loved it when
people approached them, even if it was during dinner.

After dinner was through, we decided to leave the cars at the restaurant and
walk a few blocks over to the clubs that we would be visiting.  While
walking, Josh and I held hands.  He was finally comfortable enough to show
me some affection in public.  He was the one that came up and took my hand
in his and I smiled, knowing that he was finally feeling like he could.
Especially, in public.  Lance was behind us a little talking to Joey while
Justin and Chris were horsin' around.  Tony, Mitchell, Pat and Steve were
beside JC and I talking amongst themselves.

After a few minutes, we were about a block away from the first club of the
evening.  As we were walking, I felt Josh squeeze my hand a few times.  I
think he was nervous about being seen in public holding my hand since he
came out.  But if he was uncomfortable, he didn't let it show.

While we were walking, we passed a couple of guys standing next to some
motorcycles.  They were dressed in jeans and leather.  My first though was
leather queens, but knew that wasn't the case when we passed.  As we did, I
heard one of them call out, "Faggots!"  I stopped and waited for a second
before Josh pulled me slightly and told me not to worry about it.  He
flashed a smile and I started back.  The rest of the guys must not have
heard it, cause everyone was looking at me with a quizzical look.

After we started walking, the same man called out again even louder so
everyone could hear him this time.  "FAGGOTS!"  I stopped, this time letting
JC's hand go and turned.

"You got a problem, asshole?" I asked in disgust.

"Well, I didn't until you guys came along," he responded.

By this time, the rest of the guys started standing around me.  Josh came up
in front and asked me to just leave and not let it bother me.

"Josh, I've had to deal with people like him my whole life.  I'm getting
tired of being scared."

"Please, baby.  Just ignore him.  C'mon, let's just go," he pleaded.

As I was about to turn, the man started again.  Yelling his obscenities.
"Fags can't seem to do shit now a days without each other.  Always got to
talk to their fag boyfriends."

I was about to say something, but Joey started and interrupted my train of
though.

"What the fuck is your problem, asshole?  We didn't do anything to bother
you and you start calling names.  It that all you know how to do?"

The man seemed a little dumbfounded by the response.  He just stood there
thinking of something else to say.  When he did, he really just blurted out
words that didn't make any sense.  I smiled knowing Joey threw him off guard
and then I added, "Well, Joey, that's the reason for the bikes.  From the
looks of things, that's the only power he has between his legs."

Now the man was completely pissed.  Having just been insulted, he didn't
know what to say.  He just stood there as the rest of us walked away.  A few
step farther down, we heard the guy call once again.

"Hey, FAGGOT!"

I stopped and JC tried to just talk me out of it.  I ignored him and turned.
  When I did, the man had a gun pointed right at me.  When Josh and the
other guys turned, they saw what was happening.  Without thinking, Josh
pushed me out of the way just as the gun was fired.  I fell to the ground
and Josh fell on top of me.  The other guys scattered apart so they wouldn't
get hit.

I looked over towards the club and saw some car lights come on.  Soon after,
I saw the brilliant red and blue's of a police car.  The two guys on the
bikes shouted a few more words then sped away with the police on their
tails.

When they were gone, Josh got off me and I turned over and he helped me up.
When I pulled my hand out of his, I noticed that it had blood on it.  A look
of complete panic took over and I was afraid to look for anything.

"Are you ok, Josh?" I asked, worried.

"I think so," he answered.

I looked him over and couldn't see anything.  I was really worried that he
was hit.  I looked myself over and I could feel any pain or see any blood.
The other guys came back quickly to find out if we were ok.  I said that I
was and Josh agreed that he was also.

'Maybe Josh scraped his hand on the road,' I though.

He flashed me a smile and I smiled back.  I reached down to brush off my
pants and that's when I saw it.  On the ground was a small pool of blood
that was quickly becoming larger.  It was pooling under Josh's feet.  I
looked up and saw that he had gone pale.  I put my hand on his shoulder and
lifted his shirt.  The man had shot him in his side.  "No, Josh!!" I
breathed, eyes wide with disbelief.

Josh immediately became dizzy and fell over.  I caught him before he got too
far and laid him on the sidewalk.  In the background, I head someone call
for an ambulance as I tended to JC.

"Here," Justin said, handing he his bandana.  "Put pressure on it."

I took the cloth from him and held it against the wound.  "Hang in there,
man.  The ambulance is on the way," Justin reassured.

JC just smiled.

"Oh, God, Josh, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry I didn't listen to you," I said,
starting to cry.

"It's ok, babe.  It's ok," he said, reaching up to cup my cheek in his hand.

I leaned into it and covered his hand with mine.  Lance came up and kneeled
on the other side of Josh.  He took his coat off and placed it under his
head.  JC just smiled at him for the gesture.

"C'mon, JC.  Stay strong for us.  We all need you, man," he said softly.

JC reached out and took Lance's hand in his.  His face seemed to become even
paler.  I tried to stop the bleeding, but I couldn't.  It soaked the bandana
and it was still coming.  I cried harder.  I didn't know what to do.  'If we
didn't stop this bleeding, Josh is going to die.  He can't die.  Not yet,' I
thought to myself.

Mitchell came over to me and ripped his shirt off and said he would take
over.  He pressed his shirt over the wound and told me to try and talk to
him and keep him calm.  I moved up closer to Josh.  My tears still coming.

"Don't cry, babe.  I'm gonna be fine.  Things will be ok."

I knew he was only saying what I wanted to hear.  I knew things weren't
going to be fine unless the ambulance got here soon.  The other guys in the
group were just standing around.  They were hoping and praying that he would
be ok.

Josh grabbed my hand and pulled it to his chest along with Lance's.  "Things
will be ok," he told us, looking between us both.  He look up and saw
Justin, Joey and Chris looking down at him.  He smiled and repeated himself.

Afterwards, he started coughing.  He coughed up some blood and Lance and I
knew that he wasn't going to be all right.  Lance had started crying at this
point and we both felt the pain that Josh was in.

"Shhh," JC soothed.  "I'm gonna be fine.  Please don't cry," he said as he
wiped Lance's tears away.  When Josh blinked, I saw a tear escape his eye
and I went up to wipe it away.  I let my hand rest on his cheek, crying.

"Please don't die, Josh," I whispered.  "Please?"

He looked over to me and grabbed my hand.  He looked back to Lance and took
his, too.  He brought our hands together and let them rest on his chest.
When I looked down, I saw that the three rings were as close as they could
possibly be as one without taking them off.  As I was looking, I heard the
sirens of the ambulance in the distance.  A small bit of hope crept in my
breaking heart.
"The ambulance is almost here," I told him.

When I looked back at him, I hadn't noticed that his grip on my hand wasn't
as tight as it was before.  Then I noticed that his head had fallen to the
right and his mouth was hung slightly open.

"Josh?" I called.

There was no response.

"Josh?" I called again, louder.

Still silence.  My tears began to flow freely now.

"No, Josh.  Don't leave me.  You can't die," I sobbed

I saw Pat come over and feel his wrist.  I looked up at him and he just
looked down while placing JC's hand back on his chest.

I cried harder.  Josh had died.  His body lay there.  His eyes still looking
at me.  I couldn't move.  I just sat there and cried while looking in his
blue eyes.  Lance slowly reached over and placed his hand over JC's face and
closed his eyes.

I lowered my head to his chest and cried harder.  I felt Lance put his hand
on my head for comfort.  After the ambulance came to a stop, I pulled away
and started screaming.  I walked away from everyone and kept screaming.

Looking up at the sky I screamed, "WHY?  Why didn't I see it?  It's not
fair, you bastards!"  Looking back at the group, I could see the paramedics
glance at each other and I saw one shake his head.  I cried harder and
started to run.

"Monty!!" I heard someone scream.  I ignored them and kept running.  I
didn't know where to, but I ran as far away and as fast as my feet would
take me.

To Be Continued. . . .