Date: Wed, 11 Aug 1999 23:09:35 EDT
From: Kero1743@aol.com
Subject: one chance ch 3 and 4
Constructive criticism is always welcome. For those of you who don't know
what that means just don't bother. Send comments to Shadwluvr9@aol.com
This story is entirely fictional. . In no way am I implying that any of the
Backstreet Boys really are gay.
*note- the * * is where Kevin is thinking, the :: :: is his conscience.
One Chance
by Shadowlover
****
Ch.3
****
Kevin slowly started to regain conscienceness. All he could feel was
warmth. He sensed that it was dark, but he didn't care about any of that.
He was wrapped around a warm, cuddly object. He wasn't sure of what it was,
but it didn't matter to him. What did matter, was that he was comfortable
and had gotten the best sleep of his life.
*I can't remember being more relaxed. I'm going to have to do this again
sometime.*
Suddenly Kevin felt his cuddly object move.
*What the fuck?*
Kevin jerked himself into full conscienceness. He had his arms wrapped
around something, and that something was wrapped around him. He soon
realized that the "something" was A.J. Sometime while they slept, A.J. had
turned on his side and curled up around Kevin.
*Oh God, A.J. Your problem...I wonder what happened. What made you act
that way, A.J.? Why does it feel so right to have you in my arms? And why
am I being so protective recently, always jumping to the rescue?*
::You know why.:: a part of him said.
*No, I don't. I really don't understand,* he argued back.
::Yes, you do. You've been hiding it from yourself. Burying it deep
down inside.::
*I really don't get it. Since you think you know so much, why don't you
enlighten me as to what it could be.*
::You love him,:: it told him simply.
*Ha, that's ridiculous. Me? Love A.J.? No way. I mean, come on, he's
a guy.*
::Yes, you do love him. Love knows no bounds. You should know that. It
doesn't care about shape, form, or color. It only cares that there's
potential. When there's potential, love shows up.::
*Oh, I get what you mean now. A love between friends. My bad. In that
case, of course I love A.J.*
::No, not a love between friends, you stubborn goat. A love between
lovers. Two people destined to be together. Only separated for a short time
when one bodily leaves the earth. A love that you can't escape from. Shesh,
why are you making this so hard on us. Can't you just accept the facts and
get on with it? You're driving me nuts! I've been itching to say something
for a while, but every time I've tried, you've pushed me away.::
*No, no, I don't love A.J. like that. Now just shut up.* And yet, as
Kevin looked at the peacefully sleeping A.J., he knew in his heart that he
did anyway. He was only lying to himself once again. He didn't want to
admit it because he knew it would only bring pain. A.J. would never love him
like that.
Kevin broke out of his trance when he felt A.J. squirm against him.
"Hmm? Kevin?" A.J. asked.
"Hey, A.J. How do you feel?"
"Like I've been run over by a train."
Kevin chuckled. "Well, are you ready to explain what happened to you?"
A.J. buried his face in his pillow in horror and just shook his head.
"Come on, A.J. At least explain what happened last night."
"Ok, Kevin, I'll try. But I'm not making any promises."
"That's all I'm asking for."
"Ok. But, um, Kev? Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure, A.J."
"Why did you stay here with me?" Kevin turned beet red. "And why do you
still have your arms around me?"
If it's possible Kevin turned even more red and let A.J. go. "Oh, um,
sorry about that. I stayed because I thought you needed me. I mean I thought
that you needed somebody. And besides I didn't want you to be alone. Can't
have you doing anything stupid now can we?"
A.J. grinned and shook his head. "No, I guess not. Ok, well, you
remember that girl I left with last night?"
Kevin angered slightly at this and said, "Yeah, what about it?"
"Well, we went back to her place. We started...you know...fooling
around. And she was really getting into it. Man, I mean I had her moaning
and groaning, and I hadn't even started yet. Well, I got her totally
undressed, and I still had my boxers on. I started to go down on her, and,
man, I lost it."
"Lost what?" Kevin asked. A.J. mumbled something. "A.J." Kevin said
warningly, "I can't understand you if you mumble."
"I said I lost my hard-on."
Kevin jumped up out of bed. "You mean this is what this was about?"
Kevin shouted angrily. "You lost your fucking hard-on? Do you have any idea
how worried I was about you? Well, do you? I thought something was
seriously wrong."
"No, Kev, I had no idea. Do you really care for me that much?"
"A.J." Kevin sighed. "You know I love you. A-As a brother I mean."
*Good save* Kevin thought to himself.
A.J. got up from the bed and walked over to Kevin. "Well, Kevin, that
might be how you feel but it's not how I feel." Kevin got a look of hurt on
his face, and was about to interrupt him, but A.J. put a hand up to silence
him. "Please, let me finish. I finally realized something when I was with
that girl. Something I didn't want to admit to. Last night I lost my
hard-on, not because it's something that happens to guys every once and a
while, but because the person beneath me wasn't you.
"All those girls I've fucked were just a shield. I didn't want anybody
to realize that I love you. That's why I was so upset last night. I finally
admitted to myself that I love you. I've known it all along. I was also
crying because I know that you could never love me back. But last night when
you were rocking me in your arms, I could almost feel your love for me. I
know, of course, that you mean in a brotherly way. And when I woke up in
your arms it...well, it was like my dreams come true.
"I honestly had no intentions of wrapping myself around you when we were
sleeping. It honestly felt so right to me. Well, now that I've spilled my
guts out to you, please don't hate me."
"A.J. I could never hate you. A.J....A.J., I-"
Just then there was a knock on the door. Kevin grumbled to himself, and
went to see who it was. It was Nick.
"Hey, sorry to disturb you, but a meeting's been called in my room, now."
"Oh ok, thanks Nick," Kevin said.
Kevin was walking out the door when A.J. grabbed Kevin's arm. He waited
for Nick to walk back into his room and said, "Kevin, do me a favor and tell
the guys that I was so wasted last night that I don't remember anything.
That I was in a drunken stupor or something."
"Yeah sure, A.J." Kevin said, still shocked from A.J.'s confession,
walked in a trance-like state out the door. A.J. followed close behind,
shutting the door after them.
One Chance
by Shadowlover
****
Ch.4
****
The meeting was pretty boring. They talked about the usual stuff:
changes to songs, appearances, the next concert. It wrapped up pretty
quickly. Soon they began discussing what they wanted to do that night. A.J.
and Nick decided that they wanted to go shopping in the mall. Howie, Brian
and Kevin opted to stay at the hotel. Howie needed to call his family; Brian
wanted to catch up on his sleep and maybe watch a movie; Kevin needed to
think.
As they all stood up to go their respective ways, A.J. spoke up.
"Um...wait a minute, guys. Sit down, I have something I need to tell you.
Kevin already knows what I am going to say."
The rest of the group looked at Kevin in confusion. Kevin just looked up
at A.J. in shock. When A.J. saw the expression on Kevin's face, he just
smiled.
"What I am going to tell you will no doubt be a major shock to all of
you. I have no idea as to how you react, but I hope it's positive. Nick you
might change your mind about going with me tonight after I tell you this.
I've known something about myself for a long time. But I've been hiding it
from myself...and you."
"Where is this going, A.J.?" Brian asked.
A.J. looked at Brian, shrugged and said, "I'm gay."
Brian's jaw fell and the room went silent. No one spoke, and no one
moved. A.J. put his hand up to his forehead as if to shade his eyes and
peered around the room.
"I know you're out there. I can hear you breathing," he joked.
"Um...A.J.?" Nick asked.
"Yes, Nick?"
"What about all those girls you've been with?"
"Yeah. You have got to be the biggest booty hound I've ever seen," Brian
added.
A.J. sighed. "They were just a cover up. I never really liked it, but I
figured if I did it enough I would eventually."
Brian thought for a moment chewing on his nails. Eventually, he said,
"Well, it's cool with me. You're still my bro."
"Really?" A.J. asked.
Brian nodded.
"Hey, man, it's ok with me, too. I mean, come on, who am I to judge?"
Nick said.
A.J. looked at Howie and said, "So, what's your verdict, Howie?"
"I'm actually going to go with the kid on this one. I mean it's not like
it's contagious or anything."
Nick looked offended and was about to say something when Brian started
violently shaking and bent over slightly.
"Brian? Brian, what's wrong?" A.J. asked.
Brian moaned. "Oh, no...not me...can't be happening."
Brian stopped shaking and looked up with a frightening gleam in his eyes.
"I'm one of them now. I'm gay."
Nick started to violently shake and bent over.
"Oh, God," Howie muttered.
Nick looked up and said, "I caught it. I'm gay, too."
Nick and Brian looked at each other and simultaneously screamed, "Hold
me!" They ran to each other and embraced in a hug.
A.J. picked up a pillow and swatted them with it. They broke apart
laughing.
"I'm not really gay, you know," Nick told Brian.
Brian looked at him and said, "That's ok. You're really not my type."
"Why you little..."
Nick tackled Brian to the floor. But Brian was stronger and quickly got
the upper hand. Brian pinned Nick's hands above his head with one of his and
used his other hand to tickle Nick's sides. Nick started laughing and
thrashing around.
"Ok you two. Break it up," Kevin said.
Brian stopped tickling Nick and leaned down and whispered in his ear,
"Actually, I'm not small at all."
Brian got up off Nick and walked out the door saying, "i'm going to bed."
Nick sat up and looked at A.J. "Well, shall we get going?"
"You mean you still want to go?"
"Of course I do. As long as you don't hit on me or anything."
A.J. took a few steps closer to Nick. "Actually, I've always thought you
had the prettiest eyes," A.J. said seductively.
Nick's eyes got wide, and he started to back up.
"Nick, chill. I'm was just kidding."
Nick breathed a sigh of relief.
"Well, after seeing enough gay ‘acts' to last me a lifetime, i'm going,"
Howie said.
"I'm coming, too," Kevin said.
Howie and Kevin walked out the door.
"Well, shall we?" asked Nick holding his arm out to A.J.
A.J. looked at him for a moment. Then, he smiled and linked his arm
through Nick's. "Yes, I think we shall."
They were headed out the door when the phone rang.
"Dang, let me get that," Nick said.
"Hello?" Nick said picking up the phone.
"Yes, Mr Carter? This is the receptionist. There is a package here for
Mr. McLean, but he is not answering his phone. Do you know what we should
do?"
"Actually, he and I are headed down there now. So just give it to him
then."
"Thank you so much, Mr. Carter."
Nick hung up the phone. "You've got a package waiting for you
downstairs."
"Oh ok."
They walked out of Nick's room and got on the elevator. The ride down
didn't take long, and soon the doors were opening to the lobby. A.J. walked
over to the receptionist's desk.
"I understand there is a package here for me?" he asked.
"Yes, Mr. McLean. Here you go," she said handing him a small package
wrapped in brown paper.
He took it over to where Nick was waiting and sat down. He tore the
paper off and opened the box. Inside the box was a jewelry box.
"Oh I know what this is," A.J. said excitedly.
"What?" Nick asked.
"It's a ring my mom had made for me." He took the ring out of the box.
It was a silver band with his initials on it.
"Cool. Let me see."
"I'll bet you it's the wrong size though. She always knows what I like,
but she can never remember my size."
"Well, let's find out." Nick gave A.J. back the ring. A.J. tried
slipping it on his fingers. The only on it fit was his thumb.
A.J. grinned and said, "See, told you."
Nick just shook his head and stood up. "Come on, let's go shopping."
A.J. stood up, and they walked out the door.