Date: Sat, 29 Apr 2000 17:09:17 EDT From: Carter C <nicksxtacy@hotmail.com> Subject: Open Arms 1-2 Open Arms 1-2 m/m CELEBRITY/Boy-Bands Disclaimer: This story is a work of Fiction. It is not meant to reflect the true sexuality of anyone mentioned within, especially not NICK CARTER or any member of the Backstreet Boys and is strictly taken from the author's over-active imagination. If you are too young or it is illegel for you to continue, DON'T. The author takes NO responsibility whatsoever for any harm that is caused to anyone by reading this etc. so if you're not supposed to be here, GO AWAY, please. Author's Note: Look, this is my first attempt at this kind of story, I hope someone out there likes it. Any comments, suggestions or criticisms would be appreciated, any flames will be fed to my email's trash can. Input and comments are ALWAYS welcome. A special thanks to L.T., the author of "Because I Loved You" it's a kick @ss story, and the boy has talent, thanxs for encouraging me to try this and for your inspiration. You are forever the KING. And thanks to you know who for the ultimate inspiration, you make my life worth living. Now on to the story. OPEN ARMS- CHAPTER 1 by Carter ( nicksxtacy@hotmail.com ) The words played through Nick's headphones and spoke to his heart. It had always been his favorite song, first by Steve Perry, of Journey, then remade by Mariah Carey. There wasn't a day that went by that Nick didn't long to hear the comforting voice of Mariah Carey, expressing Nick's deepest sorrow. And pain. And most of all, Love. Lying Beside you, here in the dark Feeling your heart beat with mine Softly you whisper, you're so sincere How could our love be so blind We sailed on together We drifted apart And here you are by my side So now I come to you, with open arms Nothing to hide, believe what I say So here I am, With open arms Hoping you'll see, what your love means to me Open Arms... Living without you, living alone This empty house seems so cold Wanting to hold you, wanting you near How much I wanted you home But now that you've come back Turned night into day And I need you to stay So now I come to you, with open arms Nothing to hide, believe what I say So here I am, With open arms Hoping you'll see, what your love means to me Open Arms... Nickolas Carter lay in the bed of yet another lonely hotel room, somewhere in Mississippi, or was it Canada.......... maybe it was New York. He didn't quite remember exactly where he was, but he knew that he no longer cared. None of it mattered anymore. Sure, he was glad to be where he was and he realized that at the age of 20, he had sold more albums, won more awards and achieved more than some people do in an entire lifetime. But he had worked for it. He gave everything up, as did his family, for his success. It frustrated Nick to think that all of the little girls who plastered their rooms with pictures of him didn't even make an attempt to realize what he had been through to get to where he was. Did they know that his family had lived out of a van when he was a toddler? They knew the stories of him almost falling off the stage, but did they know that at the age of 6, his parents' meager life-savings of $40 had been stolen by his babysitter? Did they know that Nick Carter, seemingly the "luckiest" 20-year old on the face of the earth, one of People Magazine's 50 most Beautiful People of 2000, cried himself to sleep every night? Even if they did know, would they care? No, they only care whether he takes his shirt off or not. If he smiles the right way at the right moment, whether or not he looks for blond hair or brown hair in a girlfriend. Nick couldn't help but smile a smile of bittersweet amusement as he hit repeat one more time on his discman. What would they do if they knew the truth? If they only knew what Nick was thinking about when he sang to the "girl of his dreams", each night on stage...What would they think? He had read once, in a review that people appreciated his talent so much because of his ability to sing with such emotion, so convincingly, that some even believed they saw him shed a tear as he stood on stage. Little did they know, just how real the feelings and tears were. The feelings of loneliness that he sang about, didn't even come close to expressing the depth of his true pain and anguish. When he sang of true love, that girl that he would do anything for, go anywhere for...it was all true. Only what they didn't know was that it wasn't a girl that Nick longed for. It wasn't a girl that he loved. Nick wished they could realize just how in love he really was, and how impossible it was for him to be with the one that he loved, because, he loves a man. Not just any man, but in his mind, the most perfect human being on the face of this earth. That's the secret that Nick had dealt with for as long as he had known what love was. For years, he had felt so lost, not understanding, why he couldn't fall in love. Night, after night, he stared at the thousands of girls, screaming his name and despite the fact that he knew it was "right", he wasn't drawn to any of them. None of them did anything for him. It wasn't until he fell in love with "him" that he knew what it felt like to be in love. To blush when his dreamlover said his name. To melt at the sight of "his" smile. To feel the heat of his body, heart and soul with every touch. To get lost in his eyes, those eyes that could say the words that His lips never dared to speak. It had been 4 years since Nick realized he was in face gay. It had been 4 years that Nick had longed to be the object of his affections. For 4 years, Nick watched him date a few different women, and finally settle down with one. It had been the announcement of his engagement that had sent Nick into his downward spiral of depression. For him, loving Brian had seemed so right, so perfect. They matched well, from their personalities, to their voices which produced a sound so heavenly together. Even their bodies, seemed to melt together, when Brian would put his arm over Nick's shoulder, or hug him, every part of Nick's body fit into a corresponding part of Brian's. When Brian's arms were wrapped around Nick, it felt so right, so perfect, if Nick had Brian, he'd never be unhappy. But now Brian was engaged and Nick's world was falling apart. He had just thought that somehow things would fall into place eventually. It seemed that if God had caused him so much pain and heartache, that there had to be a reason. Nick figured that all his tears, shed out of loneliness and longing for Brian, would eventually be redeemed through tears of joy. He was so confused, he thought Brian was his destiny, but now with Brian's wedding date approaching ever-so quickly, Nick was panicking. What if he had been wrong, what if his four years of waiting and loving Brian had all been for nothing. He didn't think it would be possible to get over Brian. So did that mean that he would have to watch Brian marry LeighAnn and live happily ever after, and just be the supportive, but miserable best friend? But he was convinced that only he could make Brian happy. No one knew Brian like he did. He was the one Brian cried to or came to when he was overjoyed, or depressed. It was him who had listened to Brian complain about being homesick. He and Brian had always been there for each other, and he could read it in Brian's eyes. Brian loved him too, Nick just didn't know if it was the same kind of love that he felt with Bri. Nick was pulled from his world of thought as he heard voices outside the hotel room door. He didn't feel like talking to Brian, right now in his emotional state, and he didn't want to end up crying in front of Brian, so he just turned his face into his pillow and pretended to be asleep. The door opened and Nick heard Brian's angelic voice, as he pictured the serene look on Brian's face, "Nick, Nicky....are you awake?" Nick didn't answer, and heard Brian shut the door. ************************************************************ OPEN ARMS- CHAPTER 2 Only once Nick realized that Brian was not alone did he regret not saying anything. "Oh, I think Nick's asleep. I don't want to wake him, maybe we shouldn't Lee." Brian spoke softly. "Oh, don't worry Brian, we'll be quiet, he's slept through it before. I want you now. You're going away for a month and I need this tonight Brian..." Nick heard Leighann's suggestive tone, and his mind raced wondering how to get himself out of this situation. It was too late to get up and leave. He turned up the volume on his discman, but still, he knew they were there and knew what they were doing. He prayed that sleep would come quickly and easily, but realized it was impossible as he felt the familiar sensations coming from his crotch as he anticipated the thought of what was about to happen in the bed right next to his. He hated having to "witness" Brian and Leighann's lovemaking, but yet he was turned on by it just the same. "LeighAnn, I'm really tired...maybe we shouldn't tonight." Brian almost pleaded with her. "Bri....I NEED this, NOW.. Show me why I fell in love with you, Fuck me now!" She screamed it as she slipped off her dress and jumped on the bed, positioning herself on her hands and knees. "Ok, ok, baby, just please, keep it down, I don't want to wake Nick..." Brian kept his voice quiet, afraid of waking Nick and having LeighAnn embarrass him as she was known to do. He slipped off his blue sweater and jeans as he crawled onto the bed. "Lee, honey, do you want to maybe do it the other way, so I could look into your eyes as I make love to you?" Brian carefully asked, trying not to upset her as he gently caressed her neck with his lips. "God, Brian, fuck me! Stop being such a pussy and just stick that huge stick in me." she yelled in her obnoxious, frustrated tone. She quickly, turned over and flipped Brian onto his back, pinning his hands above his head, straddling his waist and sinking herself down onto his hard cock. "Oh God, Brian, fuck me hard. Oh, how i've waited....it's been too long, Oh God" her voice reached new heights, as she raised and lowered herself at lightening speeds up and down Brian's pole , as her long nails scratched their way down Brian's chest in desperation. She grabbed brian's soft hair and pulled his head up to her breasts, concentrating only on her own pleasure. Brian obliged and nibbled on LeighAnn's nipples, the way he knew she liked it, just wanting to please her so that she would finish and quiet down as soon as possible. She bit down hard on Brian's shoulder, causing him to scream out in pain. Brian remembered a time when he had enjoyed LeighAnn's dominatrix attitude towards sex, and had been willing to engage in wild passionate sex just as much as she did. But now, it was all LeighAnn cared about and Brian longed to make love, rather than `fuck' as LeighAnn ALWAYS referred to it. Brian was brought out of his trance as he felt LeighAnn increase her up and down motions on his dick. "Brian fuck, I'm almost there, bang me hard, harder, oh Brian, Brian, Brian oh GOD BRAIN, YES YES YES OH GOD YES!!!" Before long, LeighAnn had climaxed and rolled off of Brian, leaving him with a raging erection and feeling a mixture of lust, frustration and confusion as his fiance lay panting like a dog next to him with her hands still caressing his rock hard abs. LeighAnn got up and headed into the bathroom and climbed into the shower, leaving Brian unsatisfied, left to bring himself to orgasm. Instead, Brian, got up and pulled his boxers on. Then he picked up LeighAnn's discarded clothes and folded them, before placing them on a chair. He then toweled himself off with his discarded sweater and then climbed into bed. Before falling asleep he looked over at Nick's body, nestled under the covers, with his discman sharing his pillow, earphones, still in his ears. Brian sincerely hoped that Nick had slept through and hadn't had to listen to him and LeighAnn. Brian knew that Nick was still a virgin and hadn't had a serious relationship. He was sure Nick probably longed for his own lover, but despite the number of girls that Nick could choose from, he knew that Nick was still unhappy. He could understand, it was hard to find a girl and to know whether she wanted him for who he was and not what he did and how much money he made. Brian wished he knew a nice girl that he could set Nick up with, but as hard as he tried, he couldn't think of anyone that he considered worthy of Nick's love. Brian knew what an angel Nick was and that Nick had more love in his heart than most people. As much as he wanted Nicky to be happy, he wouldn't let him settle for just anyone, no Brian, had to look out for his Frack, Nick deserved only the best. And there was no one that Brian could think of that he deemed "worthy" of all that Nick had to offer as a boyfriend. As he heard LeighAnn come out of the shower, Brian quickly whispered "Good Night my little Frack" before getting out of bed to get LeighAnn her towel and her clothes. ****************************************** Nick lay still, his breathing steady as he cringed through Brian and LeighAnn's noisy `fucking' as LeighAnn put it. He couldn't help but cry softly as he heard LeighAnn's abusive tone of voice and her disregard for Brian's needs. It wasn't the first time that he had noticed that LeighAnn reached orgasm and then got out of bed before Brian came. How Nick wished he could hold Brian in his arms and tell him just how much better he would treat him. How could Brian possibly be happy with LeighAnn? Did he enjoy being treated like, not only her cock but also her slave. Brian cleaned up after her, fed her, brought her towel and clothes to her, Brian treated her like a princess. Why didn't Brian realize that Nick was willing to be his Prince Charming. It hurt Nick more than he could describe to see the way LeighAnn treated Brian and knowing that Brian deserved so much more. For a brief moment, Nick wondered if things would be different if he had told Brian ow he felt, before Brian had proposed to LeighAnn. Would Brian have cared? It hurt Nick so badly to think he was so close to losing Brian forever. It was no secret that LeighAnn hated Nick because of his closeness to Brian, and once they were Mr. And Mrs. Littrell, Nick knew, that Brian's "leash" would be so tight, that he would not be allowed to see Nick very often unless they were on tour without LeighAnn. Nick found slight comfort in the knowledge that as of tomorrow they had a month free of LeighAnn and maybe Nick could get through to Brian, make sure that Brian was sure he was getting into a commitment that he truly wanted. Nick needed to know that Brian would be truly happy. Nick would sacrifice his happiness for Brian's but if he couldn't have Brian and had to see Brian in an abusive relationship, Nick wouldn't be able to deal with it. "God, why does all this have to happen now?" Nick asked himself as he thought of just how stressed he was. Meanwhile, in the next bed, LeighAnn lay soundly sleeping as brian lay awake, unable to sleep ad he wrestled with two inner conflicts. He was getting married soon, and now more than ever was beginning to question whether he was doing this for love or whether he was letting himself be pressured into marriage by his need to have someone and not be alone anymore. His second dilemma was Nick. Nick had been his best friend, his shoulder to lean on, his support, Nick had been there for him forever and now he was being forced to neglect Nick because of LeighAnn's obvious hatred for the youngest Backstreet Boy. Brian noticed a drastic change in Nick over the past few weeks and and was distressed at Nick's inability to express himself. Brian missed his carefree, happy friend, now he looked at Nick and saw pain and sorrow. Nick was so withdrawn and distant, and whatever time Brian had for Nick was always spent playing video games, rather than talking as they had for years. Brian remembered the long nights on the bus, and in various hotels as Nick and him would fall asleep talking, about life, about everything.He had to give Nick credit for being so mature for his age and for coping so well with fame and all of it's downfalls. Sometimes it seemed that the young blond was the strongest of the group, and yet here he was, obviously suffering, but unable to tell Brian what was wrong. Brian made a mental note to talk to the other guys in the morning and try to get someone else to talk to Nick. Maybe Nick was hurt that Brian kept putting Lyon before him and Brian didn't blame him. He had started to neglect Nick lately and he felt horribly about it. Brian made a promise to himself to spend his last month as a bachelor and his last month on tour without LeighAnn as his wife trying to bridge the gap between him and his Frack. He wanted to keep his relationship with Nick but he knew that if they kept this distance, LeighAnn would continue to push Nick out of Brian's life. Brian sighed, and decided to get some sleep. He leaned over and gave LeighAnn a kiss on the lips before sighing, "Good Night Princess" Nick watched Brian's silhouette in the dark as he leaned over and kissed LeighAnn. "Good night my prince, my angel. I love you Bri." Nick said it so quietly, he wasn't sure if it was in his head or if it really did escape his lips. Brian thought he heard a soft voice coming from Nick's side of the room and he smiled. Nick always did have a habit of mumbling in his dreams. There wasn't much Brian wouldn't give for a chance to know what was going on in his best friend's head. For some reason, a familiar song played through Brian's head. He didn't know why he remembered the words so clearly, but they echoed through his mind as he drifted off to sleep. Lying Beside you, here in the dark Feeling your heart beat with mine Softly you whisper, you're so sincere How could our love be so blind We sailed on together We drifted apart And here you are by my side So now I come to you, with open arms Nothing to hide, believe what I say So here I am, With open arms Hoping you'll see, what your love means to me Open Arms... Living without you, living alone This empty house seems so cold Wanting to hold you, wanting you near How much I wanted you home But now that you've come back Turned night into day And I need you to stay So now I come to you, with open arms Nothing to hide, believe what I say So here I am, With open arms Hoping you'll see, what your love means to me Open Arms... ********************************************* Well there you go, my first ever attempt at writing this kind of story. I hope someone out there liked it... Carter ( nicksxtacy@hotmail.com)