Date: Sat, 03 Jun 2000 22:31:15 EDT
From: Carter C <nicksxtacy@hotmail.com>
Subject: Open Arms 5

Open Arms 5
by Carter (nicksxtacy@hotmail.com)
m/m CELEBRITY/Boy-Bands

Disclaimer: This story is a work of Fiction. It is not meant to reflect the
true sexuality of anyone mentioned within, especially not NICK CARTER or any
member of the Backstreet Boys and is strictly taken from the author's
over-active imagination.  If you are too young or it is illegel for you to
continue, DON'T. The author takes NO responsibility whatsoever for any harm
that is caused to anyone by reading this etc. so if you're not supposed to
be here, GO AWAY, please.


Author's Note:  I appologize immensely for the delay and hope you enjoy this
installment despite it's lateness. I just want to warn you that towards the
end it does skip quite abit of time, just because I needed to get the story
to a more advanced point in time....I hope it all makes sense. I promise
that the next one will be better written, if there is a next one....

Thanks to you know who (my one true ANGEL) for the ultimate inspiration, you
make my life worth living.

Now on to the story.

OPEN ARMS- CHAPTER 5
by Carter ( nicksxtacy@hotmail.com )


	Nick awoke and quickly snapped out of his morning daze as he felt two
unusual sensations. The first was the feel of cold air against his skin, as
he realized that somehow his shirt had been removed and then next was the
warm sensation beneath him. As he opened his eyes, Nick realized in shock
that he was in his hotel room bed, shirtless and lying in Brian's arms, with
his head resting on Brian's chest. A quick glance confirmed that Brian was
fully clothed and was sound asleep.  Nick took the opportunity to look up at
Brian's sleeping face and admire the well-defined features  that never
failed to make his heart skip beat. Nick loved the way that Brian's lips
were never fully closed while sleeping, causing a slight whistle as Brian
exhaled. The soft light brown hair that topped Brian's head was another of
Nick's weak spots when it came to his dreamlover. He loved the feel of
Brian's hair, words couldn't describe it's feel. It was softer than silk,
light and always smelled like the peach scented shampoo that Brian always
used.  Nick let his eyes linger on his bestfriend's eyelids that held those
beautiful baby blue eyes as he longed  to be loved by the man who now held
him so lovingly...the man who was to be wed in just a few short weeks.

	The young blond allowed his thoughts to wonder away from Brian's beauty as
he tried to understand what led him to this position: he was in his own
hotel bed, shirtless and lying with Brian. As he thought back to the night
before, he remembered knocking on Brian's door and not getting an answer and
then lying down on the bed and listening to his discman until he eventually
must have fallen asleep. But then how did Brian get into his room, and what
on earth possessed him to sleep in Nick's bed, and how did Nick's shirt get
taken off?

	As he looked around the room, Nick noticed the door that joined his room
with Brian's was slightly ajar. He carefully slipped out from under Brian's
arm and placed a pillow against Brian's chest so that Brian was now
comfortably clutching the pillow. As he was about to leave the bed, he
hesitated and then leaned over and with one hand he brushed a few stray
hairs from Brian's forehead as he carefully kissed the love of his life on
the forehead. `I love you Brian, more than life itself' he half thought,
half whispered, though it was said so softly that even if Brian was awake,
he probably wouldn't have heard a thing. Nick left the bed and crept to the
door. As he glanced into Brian's room, he saw Kevin on the bed, Howie on the
couch and AJ on a chair, all peacefully asleep as if they were right where
they belonged.  Nick was thoroughly confused and try as he might, he could
not possibly understand what had caused the five men to end up in their
present positions. Realizing that he wouldn't be able to find out what had
happened until someone woke up, and knowing that with this being one of
their few free days he decided to let them sleep and take advantage of the
position that he had Brian in.

	Nick began by closing and locking the door that separated his room from
Brian's so as to eliminate the possibility of any of the other three walking
in on him and Brian. He then moved to the phone and called the front desk.
After he finished placing his order, Nick looked once more at the sleeping
angel and headed into the bathroom. Nick stared into the mirror as he
brushed his teeth, and tried to look past the same face that had stared back
at him for the past 20 years and into his soul.  The youthful features,
gorgeous eyes and sinful smile that he was so used to seeing were shared
with the world. On any given day thousands of people all around the world
looked at the face of Nick Carter, but his heart and soul were sacred places
that few people were allowed to touch and they ached for their soul mate.
Nick knew that so many people waited their entire lives to find their soul
mate  and yet at the age of 20, he knew exactly who his was.  The thought of
knowing exactly what he wanted from life was a comforting one, but a
terrifying one all the same. Rather than struggling to discover what he
wanted from life as did so many young people, Nick had to deal with the fear
of losing it. As he mentally counted down the days until Brian would commit
himself for all of eternity to Leighann, he asked him self one simple
question, `Why?'. It wasn't as if he hated Leighann just because she was
with Brian, but because he couldn't comprehend how Brian could possibly be
happy with her. Nick had seen through her lies from the beginning and he
knew that all she wanted was the fame and fortune that Brian could bring her
.She would have gladly seduced anyone with some sort of celebrity status, it
was unfortunate that Brian had fallen for her. Nick knew that Brian deserved
and needed so much more from his partner than Leighann was prepared to
offer. Nick, on the other hand, was ready to do anything and everything that
it could ever take to make Brian happy. He knew that Brian needed to be
loved, needed to be cherished, needed to be appreciated in ways that only
Nick could and that Leighann was incapable and unwilling.

	As he finished up, Nick made a silent vow to use these last weeks he had
with Brian, the bachelor to show his best friend just how much love he had
to give. Nick needed Brian to make up his own mind but he also had to
somehow make Brian realise that life could be so much better without
Leighann. As Nick stepped out of the bathroom, he quickly opened the front
door to wait for the bellhop and avoid having him knock and wake up Brian.
Nick was surprised to see the cart of food approaching being pushed by
woman. Upon recognising his face from the night before, the woman gave Nick
a sly smile as she wheeled the cart of food into his room. Taking a glance
around the room, the woman from the front desk saw what she was hoping to
see, Brian fast asleep on the bed. She couldn't help but be pleased that the
two young men who seemed so perfect for eachother had found their way to
eachother. She was proud of herself not only for having had the thought to
give Brian the key to Nick's room, but also taking the credit for the
necklace that now hung around Nick's neck. As Nick thanked her and tipped
her for the food, she couldn't help but comment on the situation,

	"I hope you enjoy the food, and should you need anything else, don't
hesitate to call the front-desk, just ask for Babette. And by the way I love
your necklace," she gave Nick a quick wink and nudged him lightly before
making a quick exit and closing the door behind her. Completely confused,
Nick didn't know if he had just been hit on or not. Then, remembering what
she had said, Nick looked down at the `necklace' that she had complemented.
He remembered having broken his necklace from Brian, so he was confused as
to what he was currently wearing. He moved to the neareast mirror and gazed
at the new chain around his neck. It was two silver rings, linked with a
heart. Instantly Nick fell in love with the chain and wondered when Brian
had gotten a chance to buy it . A thought hit Nick and left him with such
bitterness that he removed the necklace and left it on the bathroom counter
as he began to shed a few tears. "He must have bought that necklace for
Leighann, and then gave it to me out of pity because I broke the other one."
Nick said quietly to himself. "Well I don't need anything that was meant for
that bitch." he thought vengefully. Nick stormed out of the bathroom and was
about to yell at Brian but stopped in his tracks as his gaze fell upon the
sleeping body and he gasped at the pure beauty that radiated from Brian's
body. `How could I possibly be mad at him? It's not his fault that I feel
like this, he doesn't know that I love him. He was probably just trying to
make me feel better since I was so sad. I have no right to get mad at him
for that, he really is a sweetheart. But I'm still not going to wear it. He
can just give it to Leighann like he had planned to." Nick thought to
himself as he cherished the sight of the man on the bed.

	Remembering the tray  of food, Nick wheeled it over to the side of the bed
and then proceeded to lightly shake Brian by the shoulder.

	"Brian....yo Bri, wake up man..."

	"Huh.....what?" Brian moaned as he sleepily opened his eyes. What he saw
was  his best friend, Nick staring back at him expectantly. Brian took a few
seconds to let his eyes become adjusted to the light as he tried to remember
the events of the night before. As soon as he remembered the sight of Nick
screaming, crying and convulsing on the bed, Brian shot up and wrapped his
arms around the taller boy, hugging him like his life depended on it,

	"Nick, you're alright! You're awake, you're okay!!!"
	"Of course I'm okay Brian...why wouldn't I be? Are you sure that YOU are
alright?" Nick said as he pulled Brian off of him while gasping for air.

	" You mean, you don't remember anything from last night?" Brian asked with
amazement. He had thought that the morning would bring an akwardness as Nick
realised what had been said, but with Nick seeming unbothered and not
remembering the night before, Brian was left with a new sense of confusion
as he realised that he may never find out what happened to make Nick slip
into his coma-like state.
	"i don't know what you're talking about Bri. The last thing I remember is
knocking on your door, not getting an answer and then I guess I must have
fallen asleep.  And then this morning, you're in my bed."

	"Nick, last night I came to you're room, but you wouldn't answer the door,
so I thought you were out. Then just a little while later, I heard you
screaming and I came running, but you wouldn't wake up and open the door. So
  I came in and you seemed to be having a bad dream, except no matter what I
did, you wouldn't wake up. I tried everything, and in the end I ended up
staying here with you to make sure you didn't hurt yourself or someone
else." Brian quickly gave a tame version of the story, still debating
whether to reveal the entire truth.

	"That's so weird Frick, cuz I honestly don't remember anything after I
knocked on your door and then lay on the bed. And that reminds me, weren't
YOU the one who suggested that we get together last night, and then you were
out when I came to your door. What's up with that?" Nick tried to makes
himself sound angry, although he knew that anger towards Brian was a very
rare emotion.

	"Oh, I'm so sorry Frack, I meant to be here, but i was ordering your
nec....hey wait, where's your necklace? I could have sworn I put it on you
last night. Oh, don't tell me it got lost..." before Nick could answer,
Brian was on his knees searching all around and under the bed for the
necklace. Nick quickly grabbed the necklace from the bathroom and dangled it
in front of Brian.

	"This necklace, Brian?" he asked innocently, trying to contain his laughter
at the frantic Brian.

	" Yes, that one. And why aren't you wearing it, don't you like it?" Brian
was hurt that Nick had taken it off, after he'd stressed so long about which
one to get.

	"No, Brian, I think it's gorgeous, and I love it, but I know it must have
been for Leighann but you gave it to me to make up for the one I broke on
the plane...it's okay Bri. I appreciate the gesture but I don't want you to
give me something just because you think you have to, especially not
something that was meant for your fiance.  The other one meant so much to
me, because it was special, it was from you on my 16th birthday...it meant a
lot to me and I had attatched alot of sentimental value to it, so by just
giving me a necklace that was meant for Leighann, it cheapens the value of
it Brian. I'm not a charity case..." Nick turned away from Brian and walked
towards the window so that Brian would not see his tears, dropping the
necklace on the floor. The younger man knew  very well that despite his
efforts, Brian knew him well enough to know that he was crying.

	Brian paused as he went over all that Nick had said. He slowly walked
towards Nick, stopping only to pick the necklace up off the floor and to
open the clasp. When he reached the blond, he carefully turned Nick around
and looked up at his tear-streaked face and into his crystal clear blue
eyes.

	"Nick, did you bother to read the inscriptions on the rings?" Brian tried
desperately to read Nick's expression as the boy cautiously read the words
engraved in the silver, looking as though he was afraid of what they would
say. As he read the words, "Frick" and "Frack", Nick thought of how stupid
he had been and realised how he must look like the biggest fool on the face
of the earth.

	"Oh, Brian, I'm so sorry, i'm such an idiot, it's just that..." Nick was
interrupted as Brian placed a warm finger to his lips, and then placed the
necklace around Nick's neck and secured the clasp. He then returned to his
stance in front of Nick and once again took Nick's hands in his.

	"Look, Nick, it's obvious that things are rough for you right now, and I'm
not going to pretend to know what's going on with you, because truthfully,
you're scaring me. I know I promised to give you space, but I'm really,
really confused and more than anything I'm worried about you.  I need you to
know that I'm always, always going to be here for you, no matter what and
that I'll never ever leave you. I don't want you to be afraid that I'm going
to leave you, because it ain't gonna happen. Maybe once I marry Leighann we
will see a little less of eachother, but Nick , my marriage does not mean
the end of our friendship, okay?"

	Nick looked at the man before him and heard the sincerity in his voice and
the vulnerablility in his look. Nick suddenly felt overwhelmed with guilt as
he thought of all the confusion and pain that he'd caused Brian over the
past few days when Brian had so much on his mind. What Nick wanted the most
was his Frick's happiness, and if he made his last days as a bachelor
miserable, then Brian would probably be desperate to sign his life away to
Leighann. `I have got to make him the happiest person. I need to make his
next weeks as carefree as possible so that he can make up his mind to marry
Leighann based on love rather than him marrying her out of his need to get
away from me'. With that thought complete, Nick returned his thoughts to the
present moment.

	"Oh, Brian, I ordered breakfast for us, it must be cold by now."

	"That's alright Nick, how about you call downstairs and order enough for
all of us, and i'll go get the rest of the guys and we'll all have breakfast
together. They should all still be nextdoor actually."

	"Sounds good to me Bri." Nick tried to conceal his disspointment. He would
have loved to have a nice quiet breakfast with Brian but if Brian wanted to
eat as a group, then what Brian said was what Brian would get.

	While Nick phoned in the huge order to the front desk, Brian went nextdoor
and preceeded to wake up the three remaining Backstreet Boys. Once he had
them all fully awake, and reasonably alert, Brian lowered his voice,

	"Look guys, Nick's awake and he's fine. The thing is, he doesn't remember a
thing about last night. Not the dream, not the convulsions, nothing at
all..."

	"What? You mean he doesn't remember when he said that he loved you?" Howie
asked.

	"No, not even that. He has no recollection whatsoever, and I've decided
that for the time being, he really doesn't need to know. Whatever he dreamt
was obviously rather traumatic for him, and I don't want to think about what
might happen to him if he remembers what happened. Now, we're all going to
go next door and have breakfast with him and we're all going to act like
nothing happened. Ok? That means, no smartass comments from you Howie, and
AJ, no teasing him..." Brian made his wishes known in no uncertain tone.

	"What about Kevin, doesn't he get warned?" AJ whined.

	"Kevin, I'm counting on you to help me through this. I'm so confused and
emotionally drained, but I can't let him see that. I need for him to feel
completely at ease with everything so that we can help him through whatever
this is that he's suffering through.  No matter what, Nick needs to know
that things are fine and that no matter what, we're all there for him and
that he's not alone. Now is that too much to ask of any of you?" Brian
looked at them expectantly.

	Kevin looked at the four faces before him, "Brian., I think I speak for all
of us when I say, we'll do whatever it takes to help him through this. You
know him best, so when it comes to Nick, whatever you say, goes."

	Howie and AJ nodded in agreement and they all stood and headed over to
Nick's room for breakfast.

**********************************************

	The next three weeks would go by very quickly as the boys embarked on their
non-stop tour of Europe. Brian kept himself sane by rooming with Nick so
that he could make sure that he was alright, while Nick did all that he
possibly could to make everything seem normal, so that Brian wouldn't have
to worry about him. But as the days before the wedding became numbered, a
new sense of panic filled Nick as he realised that he was closer than ever
to losing the love of his life for all of eternity. Ironically, Nick was the
best man and had been trusted by Brian to take care of all the last minute
details of the wedding. Nick was torn between his loyalty and love for Brian
which compelled him to do the best job he possibly could and then his heart
which loved Brian in a way that only soul mates can.  Nick was a wreck and
couldn't let Brian see it. With just seven short nights left until the
wedding, Nick pulled out his journal. At one stage in Nick's life it had
been the most important thing to him, and it housed all of his emotions,
thoughts and dreams. Lately, Nick had been too busy to even give it a second
thought, but on this lonely night, Nick turned to his journal to document
his thoughts and his final decision. Nick had put hours of thought into it
and had finally made up his mind. At one point, Nick had thought that
realising that he was gay was the most important moment in his life, but now
he realised that this decision was even more important. He shed endless
tears as Open Arms played on in he background. As he lay in his bed, back in
Orlando Nick was shaking through his sobbing as he tried to steady his hand
enough to write the two words on the page,

	It's over.


	TO BE CONTINUED ???

	So, how was it? I know I haven't gotten back to many of you who have been
writing, and I apologize (in my defence, I'm in the process of writing final
exams and finishing all my final term papers). To those of you that I have
answered, it's not that I like you more, and to those that I havent'
answered it's not that I like you less. I love you all for taking the time
to encourage me and offer your feedback and appreciate it more than you can
imagine.  I promise that EVERY one who writes this time will get an answer,
and I'm begging you to please all let me know what you think. I'm starting
to question whether to continue writing or not. I was so passionate about
writing this, because reading other stories and seeing how Nick is usually
portrayed as an evil heartless person, I felt compelled to share the real
Nick Carter with the world and that's what I've attempted to do, be true to
Nick in every was possible (except for the fact that he's not gay...) but a
few nights ago I read yet another story (i won't name it) that made Nick
seem like a horrible person and I wondered, if all of you hate Nick so much,
then why continue? So I need to know what you guys think of the story,
whether you'd like for it to continue and WHAT YOU'D LIKE TO SEE HAPPEN.

	Thanks for the support and I look forward to hearing from all of you.

	Oh, and if any of you are looking for another great story, you NEED to
check out "Because I Loved You" by Lucas Thompson, it's incredible (and it
doesn't bash poor Nicky =)

	Always & 4 Ever,
	Carter (nicksxtacy@hotmail.com)