Date: Mon, 06 Sep 1999 15:56:25 IST
From: "Nathaniel C." <nathanielstories@hotmail.com>
Subject: Question of Faith part 6

Chapter number six of Question of Faith. Sorry it took me so long to send
this one out. Chapter 7 will be send out sooner.

Thank you all for the wonderful feedback I've been getting. All the people
at Nifty thank you for hosting the story. Toby, thank you for the moral
support and the little encouragement you give me when I need it.

DISCLAIMER: as far as I know no member of the Backstreet Boys, Five or
Nsync are gay. I have no connection or relationship with the bands, their
family and friends, their management or their record companies.

If you want to send feedback you can send it to:
nathanielstories@hotmail.com


Nick tried to push back the fear and despair he felt rise inside of him. He
slid of Kevin's lap and sank on the floor.  'Noooooooo!' He screamed.  Nick
shook his head. 'Who is it, Kevin? You? Me? The both of us?'  Nick didn't
look up. He was afraid of the answer. 'Tell me Kevin. If I am dying I want
to know.'

'You are not dying.' Whispered Kevin.

Nick let out a single sob. If he wasn't dying than there could be only one
reason why Kevin was crying. Nick raised his head and stared at Kevin.
Kevin wiped away Nick's tears. 'No need to cry.'

Nick covered the older man's hand with his. 'I don't want to loose you.'

Kevin rose to his feet and lifted Nick of the ground. Nick buried his head
deep in the crook of Kevin's neck. Kevin sat down on the bed.

'Listen to me Nick. We are both negative.'  Nick mumbled something
inaudible.

'But you need to go back to the hospital.'

'No more tests.'

Kevin could feel the young man stiffen in his arms. 'I want you to become
healthy again.'

Nick looked up and with anger in his eyes he said: 'I don't want another
tube stuffed down my throat or where ever they want to stick them. I just
want to be with you.'

Kevin understood his anger. 'I'll be with you all the way. Hell they can
even do every test on me.'

Nick titled his head. 'You would do that for me?'  Kevin nodded.

'What else would you do for me?' Asked Nick with a sly smile.

Kevin remained serious. 'I would do this.' Kevin dipped his head and kissed
Nick's neck. He softly sucked on the sensitive skin.

'And what else?' Panted Nick.

'I could do this.' Murmured Kevin.

Kevin slid his hand inside Nick's jeans cupping his rapidly growing
erection. Nick moaned in Kevin's ear. Kevin licked, sucked and kissed every
inch of Nick's neck. Meanwhile he unbuttoned Nick's shirt and caressed the
skinny chest. He took a nipple between finger and thumb and rolled it until
the little bud was rock hard. He covered the nipple with his mouth and
moved to the other one. Kevin removed his hand from Nick's jeans causing
him to whimper. Kevin released both nipples and nearly tore of his own
shirt. He moved his hands to Nick's jeans and within seconds they were both
naked. Kevin crawled to the end of the bed and kissed Nick's foot. He
licked the blonde's long legs all the way up to the inner thigh. He
deliberately ignored the trembling erection. Kevin did the same with the
other leg. He reached out his hands and grabbed the headboard. He pulled
himself up over Nick's body. Nick tossed his head from side to side feeling
Kevin's hard body rub over his. Kevin thrusted his hips against Nick's.  'I
want you inside me Kevin.'

 Kevin crushed his lips on Nick's warm mouth. Their tongues were playing a
catch me if you can game. Kevin moved his hand down and gathered Nick's
precum. He lubricated his own painful erection and lifted Nick's legs over
his shoulders. Nick sighed as he felt Kevin gently push against his
hole. Kevin didn't want to rush because it had been a year since Nick and
he made love. Nick softly moaned and that sound sent Kevin over the
edge. With one deep thrust he entered Nick. Nick grabbed the sheets and
tried to muffle his cry of pain. Kevin wanted to slip out but Nick cupped
his face.

'I am okay now.'

Kevin kissed away the tears of pain that slipped down Nick's face. Kevin
started to move, slowly speeding up his pace. Nick reached between their
sweaty bodies and moved his hand around his own erection in the same rhythm
as Kevin. With his other hand he slid down Kevin's back and entered him
with one finger. A moan came from deep within Kevin. Nick closed his eyes
and let the first wave of his orgasm wash over him. Kevin enclosed his hand
over Nick's. He saw the waves of pleasure wash over Nick's face and knew
Nick was close. Nick slipped one more finger inside of Kevin. Kevin
responded with a deep thrust. The third finger was more than Kevin could
handle and he shot his cum deep in Nick. As if Nick had waited for that
moment he came too. Kevin supported his weight on his elbows and dipped his
head

He kissed Nick tenderly on the lips. 'I am sorry.'

Nick shook his head. 'I love you. Don't be sorry.'

Kevin wanted to roll of Nick.

'No, please. Don't move.' Nick slid his legs down Kevin body making sure he
stayed inside. 'I like this feeling.'

Kevin rested his head on Nick's shoulder. Nick wrapped his arms round
Kevin. He couldn't stifle a yawn.

'I've missed this.' Mumbled Nick.

Kevin nuzzled his neck. 'I missed this too.'

Kevin raised his head and saw that Nick was almost sleeping. He waited
until Nick was asleep and slipped out of his body. Kevin rolled on his side
and pulled Nick close. Kevin kissed his cheek and closed his eyes. They
would deal with their problems again in the morning.


Justin was nervous. He had every right to be nervous. JC and Lexie were
rejoining the tour again. He had managed to ignore the rest of the band for
the last week. Each time Justin thought back to that day he could feel JC's
cold hands around his throat again. The bruises had faded but Justin's
voice was still hoarse. Justin would never forget the anger and the pain he
saw in his best friend's eyes. A little girl who asked him time and time
again why he killed her haunted his dreams at night. Justin
shivered. Immediately a pair of warm arms slipped around his waist. Justin
looked up in Richie's eyes. Richie had been his only friend the last few
days. The only one that cared for him. Without thinking Justin leaned
forward and kissed Richie on the lips. Richie took a step back and Justin
regretted his move.

'Justin, what are you doing?'

'I'm sorry Richie. I thought. You. We.' Justin stared at his feet.

'I thought we were friends Jus. Friend with no strings attached.'

'I didn't mean to kiss you. I thought you liked me.'

Richie ran his fingers through his hair. 'I am involved with someone back
in England. I could never. I mean.'

Justin walked to the door. 'I understand. I am sorry.'

Justin quickly opened the door and slipped outside. He turned around and
bumped into someone.

'Ouch.' Mumbled Justin as he landed on his butt.

He looked up and his eyes grew big.

'Oh god.' Justin crawled backwards.

He couldn't breath, his throat was closing. Justin pulled at the collar of
his T-shirt. He tried to inhale air but he couldn't.

'Oh god.' He managed to say.

Justin struggled to his feet.

'Justin are you okay?' A soft voice asked him.

Justin tried to breath again but still he couldn't fill his lungs with much
needed air. 'Go away, please.' He whispered.

'Justin, what is wrong?'

Justin turned around and started to run. He ran around a corner and
collapsed.


JC watched his former best friend run down the corridor. The struggle for
breath had scared him. Justin had looked at him as if he was ghost. Lexie
touched his arm.

'Why is Justin so scared?'

JC looked at his girlfriend. Unlike him she had come to terms with what
happened. 'I tried to strangle Justin the last time he saw me.'

Lexie stared at JC with disbelief in her eyes. 'You did what?'

JC stared at the pattern on the carpet. 'I'm not proud of what I did but he
tried to kill you.'

Lexie sighed. 'Justin cried out for attention. He never wanted me to get
hurt. He didn't know I already skipped one injection that day.'

'He killed my child.' Whispered JC.

'JC! That boy is scared to death. God knows what goes on inside his mind.'

JC raised his head. 'I can't forgive him. Not yet.'

He opened the door and walked inside his room. Lexie wanted to run after
Justin to see if he was all right. But seeing her would most likely make
matter worse. She sighed. If only she had seen Justin's attempts for
attention. If only she had known he left lonely and left out. If only they
had told them she was pregnant.

'If only I could make things right.' Lexie whispered.



'Okay Nick, are you ready so that we can get started?'

Nick nodded. He would never be ready for this.

'You need to drink this. It smells horrible and it tastes even worse. After
you did that we take x-rays and after that we see what else we need to do.'

Nick looked at the huge bottle of clear liquid in front of him.

Kevin squeezed his hand. 'The sooner you drink it the sooner it is over.'

Nick took a deep breath and started drinking. The doctor was right. The
stuff smelled awful and Nick struggled not to gag. After he had finished he
leaned back on the bed. Nick closed his eyes and swallowed.  He swallowed
again. He couldn't keep the stuff down. Nick started to heave.

'No Nick.' Kevin pushed him back on the bed. 'Try to keep it down or they
have to insert a tube.'

The mere thought of a tube down his throat calmed Nick down.

The doctor returned to the room. 'That was quick. If you could leave the
room now.'

Nick clasped his hand firmly around Kevin's. 'He is not going anywhere.'

The doctor nodded and handed Kevin some protection for the x-rays. The
doctor stepped behind a screen and a buzzing sound was heard. 'Okay. Now
try not to throw up already. If the x-rays show what we may fear than we
need to do more tests.'

Nick pushed himself up on his elbows. 'What are we fearing?'

'Abdominal cancer.'

The words lingered in the room. Nick fell back on the bed and closed his
eyes. Kevin stood up and left the room. His worst fear just came true.

'Doctor?'

 The doctor sat down next to Nick.

'From now on I want you to tell me exactly what you are doing and what is
going on. And I don't want Kevin to know.'

The doctor nodded. 'Let me have a look at the x-rays and than we know.'

Nick watched the doctor flip on a light and he stared at a x-ray of his own
inside. Nick climbed off the bed.

'What is that?'

 The doctor explained that because of the fluid he could see if there were
any irregularities. The doctor switched off the light.

'What we need to know is to insert a camera to see if your stomach is
affected by the constant throwing up.'

Nick turned pale. 'Insert a camera where?'

'Up your nose.'

Nick barely managed to reach the sink before he heaved again. Nick sank to
the floor.

'Can't you do it another way?'

The doctor helped him back on his feet. 'We can do it down your throat but
that is very uncomfortable.'

Nick sat back on the bed. 'There is no tube going up my nose.'

'Okay, I'll call a nurse in and we do it the way you want it.'

The doctor walked to the door.

'While you are there can you see if Kevin is around?'

The doctor nodded and left Nick alone in the examination room.


Nick tried to fight the tube.

'Nick just swallow.'

Nick shook his head. He started to gag.

'Breath through your nose and swallow when I say you have to swallow. I
know it hurts.'

Nick closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing through his nose.

'Now swallow.'

 Nick swallowed hard and he felt the tube slide down. Instantly he started
to gag again and he opened his eyes.

'Sh, it is okay. You did a great job.'

 Nick saw Kevin standing at the sink in the corner of his eye. He couldn't
call out to Kevin. Kevin slowly turned around and saw Nick looked at
him. He walked back to the bed and took Nick's sweaty hand in his. Kevin
felt guilty for taking off after the doctor said he feared cancer.

'Your stomach is a bit irritated but I'll can give you some medication that
should stop you throwing up.'

Nick blinked once with his eyes.

'Okay, now we are going to pull back the tube.'

Nick closed his eyes. The doctor pulled out the tube and immediately rolled
Nick on his side. Nick started couching and heaving at the same time. Kevin
wanted to scream and take over some of his pain. Nick pulled up his
legs. Kevin wrapped his arms around him.

'It is all over now.' Kevin whispered words of comfort in his ear.

The doctor came back in the room. 'Well, it is not abdominal. Next up is a
bone marrow puncture.'

Nick softly whimpered.

'Can we go home for the day?'

The doctor shook his head. 'If you want to know what is wrong?'

'You can go back to the hotel, Kevin. Tell them I won't be performing
tonight.'

Kevin shook his head.

Please for me?' Nick looked at him with pleading eyes.

Kevin sighed. 'Do you want me to go?'

Nick sighed. 'I don't want you to see me in pain. I don't want to hurt
you.'

Kevin stood up. 'Call me when you are done.'

Nick nodded. 'I love you.'

Kevin smiled and walked away. He hesitated in the corridor. Nick's scream
as the needle entered his back went straight through Kevin's heart and
soul.


They performed one of the strangest concerts that night. Justin was so
scared being around JC he messed up nearly every step. As soon as JC come
close Justin would take a few steps back. But when he performed with the
backstreet boys to cover up for Nick everything went perfect. The guys of
Five started the concert off and dedicated a song to Nick. Even tough Nick
missed half of the concerts on the tour so far the fans seemed to be more
dedicated. Richie kept looking at Justin, who was standing at the side of
the stage watching them perform. Richie couldn't deny the sexual attraction
he felt when he was near Justin but he already had someone waiting for him
to come home in two months time. Richie saw the fear in Justin's eyes every
time JC would pass him on stage during a song. And he saw the dedication
when he danced with the backstreet boys. Richie sighed.

'Love is weird but wonderful.'

Richie swirled around. Scott stood behind him.

'Come on man, you can't tell me you don't fancy the kid. You have been
drooling over his for the last three hours.'

Richie shrugged. 'I have Shane.'

Scott snorted. 'Reality check here. Who cheated on you for the last two
years? Who wasn't at the airport when you went away for at least four
months?'

Richie looked at Scott. 'But I'll go back to England and he will be here.'

'Love conquers all.'

Richie hated it when Scott was right. Scott could read him like a book.

'But I pushed him away.'

Scott hugged Richie. 'I am your best friend and you are going to listen to
me now. As soon as we get back to the hotel you are going to Justin's room
and you tell him exactly how you feel. If he doesn't want you than it was
not meant to be but if he does don't make too much noise as my room is next
to Justin's.'

Richie started laughing. Scott's next words were drowned as the
backstreetboys came running off stage.

AJ dived on top of Scott and Richie. 'No smoochies here. Wanna go
clubbing?'

'Who else is going?'

AJ released Scott and Richie.

'We are all going.'

'Count me out.'

AJ looked at Kevin. 'Okay are there any youngsters going?'

Kevin playfully hit AJ and walked to the showers.

Richie looked at Justin. 'Are you going?'

Justin shook his head.

'Um, wanna watch a video with me?'

Justin shrugged.

'Come on. I'll let you pick.'

Justin looked at Richie. 'I can choose any movie I want to see?'

Richie nodded.

Justin smiled. 'Good. Your room or mine?' 'Yours.'


I am not a medical student or anything. So if some of the stuff about the
tests Nick had is wrong I am sorry. I based them on the stories a personal
friend told me.  Thank you for reading,

Nathaniel