Date: Mon, 08 May 2000 10:01:42 EDT From: Frnces O'Rtg <frnceso@hotmail.com> Subject: Rude Awakeningt Chapters 19&20 (Trail of Tears) Copyright 2000 By Francis O'Ratigan. All rights reserved. With the exceptions of short excerpts for critical reviews, no part of this work may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without permission in writing from the Author. This story is complete fiction. This story in no way implies the ACTUAL sexual orientation or beliefs of Actual living people. In other words FICTION!! As promised I will be writing two verions of the next two chapters. It will be up to you the readers which path the story will follow. Any comments are welcome. Good or bad. Feel free to e-mail me at frnceso@hotmail.com Rude Awakening (Trail of Tears) Chapter 19 Johnny woke in the middle of the night. He looked around the dark hospital room. "Dad?" he called out looking off to the side where he saw someone sitting. "Yes Johnny," answered a sleepy Kevin. "What is it?" Kevin shook the remenants of sleep from his head. "I'm cold," Johnny said shivering. Kevin got up and found another blanket and tucked it around his foster son. "All better?" asked Kevin as he kissed his forehead Johnny nodded and turned over in his bed closed his eyes. The door opened a crack and Kevin looked up. It was Justin. He had returned from taking Jason home. Kevin had asked Justin to stay home and rest. He needed it for tomorrow they would perform the procedure that would extract the Bone Marrow from Justin that would hopefully save Johnny's life. "Justin?" asked Kevin. "I thought I asked you to stay home and sleep." Kevin said sternly. "I couldn't sleep. I am worried about Johnny," Justin said softly as he made his way through the darkened room. He sat down on the couch. "How is he doing?" "He is doing much better. The fever is down and he is breathing easier," Kevin said as he reached over and tucked part of the blanket in around Johnny. "I am going to get something to eat," Kevin said. "You want something to eat or drink?" Justin shook his head no. Kevin stepped out of the room. Justin sat next to Johnny's bedside and he took his hand. Johnny let out a small moan and turned over facing Justin. "Uncle Justin?" asked Johnny in a quiet voice. It was so quiet that Justin almost didn't hear it. "Yea Johnny," replied Justin. "Um will you sing me a song?" he asked. Justin smiled at him and sat on the side of the bed. "What should I sing for you?" Justin asked as he wrapped his arm around Johnny's shoulders. Johnny shrugged his shoulders as an answer. "What is with that shruggen," Justin joked with Johnny. Johnny let out a giggle and snuggled up to Justin. "Ok than I will pick one for you." After thinking for a few moments he closed his eyes and started singing. When the visions around you Bring tears to your eyes and all that surround you are secrets and lies I'll be your strength I'll be your hope Keeping your faith when it's gone The one you should call was standing here all along And I will take you in my arms and hold you right where you belong till the day my life is through This I promise you This I promise you I've loved you forever in lifetimes before and I promise you never will you hurt anymore I give you my word I give you my heart This is a battle we've won and with this vow Forever has now begun Just close your eyes each livin day And know this feeling won't go away Till the day my life is through This I promise you This I promise you Justin looked down and saw that Johnny was sleeping. So he decided to wait until morning to sing the rest of it. "Your voice will sing anyone to sleep," Kevin's deep voice sounded through Justin's thoughts. "I meant every word of it," Justin said as he wiped a tear from his eye. "I don't want to loose him Kevin." "I hope you don't have to," Kevin said as he sat down in the chair. "I never thought it possible." "What?" asked Justin. Kevin looked down at his coffe cup. "I never thought that it was possible to be a father. I mean when I realized that I was Gay I had just about given up hope of being a Dad. Than that little heart breaker comes crashing into our lives." Kevin took a drink from his cup. "And now the jaws of death are waiting to snatch him from us." "Yea but we won a major battle today," Justin said putting a hand on his shoulder. Kevin nodded and yawned. "Looks like you can use some sleep," laughed Justin. "I'll take first watch." Kevin was going to argue but one look from Justin and he stopped. So Kevin laid down on the couch and closed his eyes. The Next Morning. Jason woke up looking for Kevin. He remembered that Kevin had spent the night at the hospital with Johnny. He climbed out of bed and shuffled into the bathroom and did his business. He wondered what chance he would have getting a ride to the hospital. He wanted to suprise his love with breakfast. He walked down stairs and spotted JC. "Good morning JC," Jason said with weak smile. JC looked up from his lap top. "Morning Jason, did you sleep well?" he asked smiling. "Not to bad," Jason said as he sat next to him. "Whacha doin?" he asked peeking over his shoulder. "Just catching up on my e-mails. Chris and Joey and Lance say hi," JC said with a grin. "Tell them YO for me," giggled Jason. "Hey I was wondering if I could get a favor from you," Jason said. JC looked up from his Lap Top. "Any thing for you Jas," JC grinned. "Can you take me to the Hospital?" Jason asked. "Sure Jason," JC said closing his Lap Top. "I need to go the Hospital and see Justin. Today they are extracting the Bone Marrow from him. He doesn't do Hospitals very well. Ben and I want to be there for him. You ready to go?" Soon Jason and JC headed out the door to go the Hospital. At the Hospital. Johnny woke up and looked around the room. He spotted his Foster Dad sleeping on the couch. He was feeling better and naughty too. He wanted attention. He looked around for something to do. He spotted his pillow and picked it up and tossed it at Kevin. It hit Kevin in the head. Kevin woke up with a start looking around the room. Johnny's laughing led him the way to the culprit. Kevin smiled at the sight of his Foster son feeling better. "Ohhh Wise Guy huh?" Kevin laughed getting up and creeping towards him. Johnny giggled louder and tossed another pillow at Kevin. Kevin caught it and tossed it back. He reached the bed and wrapped his arms around the giggling squirming child. "So we are feeling better this morning?" Kevin asked. "I wanna go home!" Johnny said jumping up and down on the bed. "Please Daddy? Can I go home?" Kevin looked at his foster son and sat down next to him. "I'm sorry son, but the Doctors want to make sure that you are well enough to go home. Plus they want to do that Bone Marrow Transplant," Kevin said bending down and kissing his forehead. "Where is Uncle Justin?" Johnny asked looking around. "Uncle Justin is giving the doctor some of his Bone Marrow for you," Kevin explained to him "Than I can go home right?" he asked excitedly. "Than we all can go home Buddy," laughed Kevin. He heard the door open and looked up and saw the man that he loved standing there. "Morning Babe!" he said excited getting up and walking towards him and grabbing him in a hug. "Did you sleep good Babe?" Jason laid his head on Kevin's chest. "Not as well," Jason whimpered. "I missed you something terrible." He reached up and pulled Kevin's head down to him and pressed his lips to his and slid his tongue into his mouth. "EWWWWWW Yucki!" exclaimed Johnny laughing his head off. Jason broke away from Kevin laughing. "You know Dad?" Jason asked. "I think he needs to be kissed by his father." Kevin raised his eyebrows and started walking towards Johnny. Johnny pulled the covers over his head and started squeeling. Kevin slid under the covers making monster noices. Johnny kept laughing and squirming. Soon the entire room was up in laughter. They didn't see the door open and the doctor step into the room. He watched the activity in ammusement. Finally Kevin came up for air. His hair was a mess and Johnny's arms were wrapped around his neck. "Well Johnny, I am glad to see that you are feeling much better this morning. Do you think you are up to some tests?" asked the Doctor. "Do you have to take some blood from me?" he asked worried. "Yes a little blood but not much," the doctor asnwered honestly. Kevin could see the tears form in Johnny's eyes and it filled his heart with pain. "It's going to hurt isn't it?" Johnny whimpered. Kevin wrapped his arms around the small child. "I don't want too," he said stubbornly. "Son you have too have the tests done," Kevin said in a soothing voice. "You want to get better don't you?" Johnny nodded and sniffled looking up at Kevin with those eyes. "Than you will have the tests done for me?" Kevin asked. "OK Dad," Johnny said bravely. "I'll have the tests done for you." "That is a brave boy," Kevin said leaning down and kissing him on the cheek. "But I still don't like it!" grumbled Johnny sticking out his bottom lip in a pout. Kevin laughed softly. "Well I don't!" he shouted at his Foster Dad. "I know Johnny," Kevin said grinning. "You don't have to like it." In another room. Justin was sleeping in a bed. The procedure that was performed was extremely painful. Justin hated hospitals with a passion. He wished that JC or Ben was here with him. After the procedure he was tired and he was trying to sleep. He felt someones hand stroke his face. He leaned into the touch. "Hey sexy," a voice said. Justin smiled and opened his eyes and looked up into the eyes of Ben. "Hi," he mumbled sleepily. He looked around the room and spotted a worried looking JC. "Yo JC," he said grinning holding his hand out to him. "See I am still alive," he joked a little. "When can you leave this place?" asked JC grinning. "I gotta stay here for a while longer," Justin said grabbing Ben's hand and kissing it. "Any one know how Johnny is doing?" "When I dropped Jason off I caught him throwing pillows at Kevin," giggled JC. Justin laughed softly. "So I think it is safe to assume that Johnny is on the mend." I want to see him before we head out," Justin said pushing a botton and raising the head of his bed up. "We'll be performing when when he gets his transplant," Justin said sadly. He wanted to be with Johnny when he got the transplant. But he knew that his career couldn't be put on hold for ever. "Maybe we can do something special for him the day of the transplant," JC said reaching up and ruffling Justin's head. Justin glared at him and than spent the next few minutes trying to fix his hair. They waited patiently for the doctor to discharge Justin. When he finally was let go he went by the gift store and baught Johnny some things and than headed back up to the ward. He approached the room when he heard Johnny crying. He quickly opened the door and discovered that they were only drawing blood from him. Kevin was sitting beside him whispering in his ear. Johnny nodded as he sniffled. Justin smiled at the interaction between the two. He waited until the lab tech was done. Than he made his presence known. "Yo Johnny!" he said excitedly. Johnny looked up at Justin and smiled broadly. "Uncle Justin!" he shouted with glee. "You're back!" Justin handed him the bag and reached down and hugged him. "Why the tears buddy?" Justin asked stroking Johnny's face. "They had to draw some blood," Johnny said. He looked into the bag and pulled out a new game. He looked confused and looked back up at Justin. "It's electronic Battleship the star wars eddition," Justin explained. "You and I can play some time if you want." "Cool!" Johnny said wrapping his arms around Justin. Justin closed his eyes to the touch his eyes filling with tears. "Uhh Johnny," Justin said softly. "Yea Uncle Justin," Johnny answered with a very serious face. "I have to go back to work," Justin said sadly. Johnny nodded sadly. "I'll be thinking of you all the time and I'll call every day." "Promise?" Johnny asked. He knew that when he asked a grown up to promise that the grown up would not break his promise. "You know I will," Justin said grinning. Jusitn got up and went to Kevin and pulled him in a hug too. "You take care of my Nephew," he said wiping a tear from his eye. "He is very important to me." "He is very important to me to Justin," Kevin said wiping a tear from Justin's face. "You need to promise to take care of yourself too." "I will," Justin sniffled. He than turned to Jason. He frowned when he saw how tired Jason looked. "You need to take better care of yourself Jas," he said wrapping his arms around Jason. "I don't want to loose you." "I promise that I'll take care of myself," Jason said kissing Justin on the cheek. Johnny held out his arms and Justin picked him up and sat him on his lap. Kevin quietly ushered the rest of the guys out of the room to give the two friends some privacy. "Ben is cool," Johnny said smiling up at Justin. Justin nodded and grinned. He knew that in Johnny's limited way he had just told Justin that he approved of his choice. "Thank you Johnny," he whispered. "He loves you too." Johnny nodded. "Um will you hold me for a while?" Johnny asked and yawning at the same time. Justin laid back on the bed and Johnny snuggled up to his uncle and wrapped his arms around Justin and closed his eyes. "I love you," he mumbled just before he went to sleep. "I love you to Johnny," Justin whispered back. Two hours later. JC walked up the aisle and sat next to his brooding friend. "Hey Justin," he asked softly. "Whacha doing?" They were on a plane headed to New York. "Just thinking," Justin said quietly looking out the window. "About?" pressed JC. Justin looked over at JC. "About my life," Justin said. "How lucky I had it. As a child and now." JC nodded understanding. "I'm just scared right now JC." JC put his arm around his best friend. "I don't want to loose Johnny." "Your not going to loose him Just," JC said softly. Justin shook his head and pulled away from JC. "You don't know that. What if the Bone Marrow doesn't take. There is a chance that he would reject it," Justin said softly his eyes watering up. "We just have to pray real hard that the Bone Marrow takes. I can't believe that there is a God that would so cruel that he would dangle a cure infront of us and than snatch it away," JC said kissing the top of Justin's head. "Now why don't you try and get some sleep before we land. Cause once we do it is off to the Oscars." Justin nodded and closed his eyes. Back at the Hospital. Kevin led Johnny by the hand into a conference room. Jason was already there sitting at the table. The medical team assigned to Johnny's case wanted to discus the transplant that would take place the next morning. "Good Morning Johnny," spoke a kind Doctor. "Are you feeling better?" "Um Yes sir," Johnny said quietly. "Are you going to do the transplant?" he asked hopefully. "That is why we are all here today. We are going to talk about the transplant. And in answer to your question, yes we are planning on doing the Transplant Tomorrow morning," the Doctor said smiling. "You remember the class you took ?" Johnny nodded his had sadly. "So you understand that when you have the transplant you are going to be in isolation for a while?" Again Johnny nodded. "I wont be able to see anyone?" he asked scrunching up his nose. The Doctor chuckled a little. "No, you will get to see them. You can't have any contact with them. You will be behind a plastic tent. And they will have to wear special gowns so you wont get sick. It is very important that we keep you in a germ free enviroment," the nurse spoke up. Johnny did not look pleased at all. He loved contact with people. He was a hugger and he wanted hugs too. "Son?" asked Kevin. Johnny looked at him with those trusting eyes. "I will be with you every step of the way. You might not beable to touch me but I will be there. You will hear my vioce. And Jason will be here too." "And I am going to bring in a phone with a speaker so that you can hear Justin when he calls," Jason spoke up. Johnny nodded silently. "Umm I'm kind of tired. Can I go back to my room," he said in a low voice. Kevin looked at the Doctor and he nodded his head. "Sure son, we can go back now," Kevin said sighing. He had a feeling that it was going to be a long day. Later in the hospital room. "Kevin Babe?" asked Jason. "Yea Babe," Kevin spoke up. "You're tired, and you need sleep. Why don't you go home for a few hours and sleep?" Jason sudgested rubbing Kevin's shoulders. Kevin looked over at his sleeping Foster Son. "I know you don't want to leave him alone. But it will only be for a few hours. We both need our rest Kev," Jason gently urged him. "I don't want to leave him alone," Kevin said looking back at Johnny. He was asleep now. But he could wake up anytime and need him. "You have a whole hosptial full of staff that can be there for him. Baby you need your rest. You haven't slept right in 24 hours. Please come home with me and get some rest," Jason pleaded. Kevin shook his head no and Jason swore under his breath. Kevin glared at him for a few seconds. "You will be no good to him if you are sick yourself!" Jason whispered harshly at him. The harsh tone shocked Kevin. "Stay here if you want but I am going home to get some sleep. If you want to get your self sick fine but I wont watch you do it!" Jason stomped out of the room. Kevin swore and took off after Jason. "Jason please stop?" he pleaded. Jason stopped but didn't turn around. "Please turn around?" Jason sighed and turned around. Kevin saw tears streaming down his face. "If the invitation to come home with you is still open I accept." Jason held out his hand and Kevin took and they walked out of the hospital and into the car. Kevin leaned against Jason and laid his head on his shoulder. Jason leaned down and kissed his forehead. He wrinkled his nose. "I know I need a shower Babe," Kevin said grinning. "You want to join me?" he asked winking at Jason. Jason smiled and took his hand away from his crotch. Kevin looked disapointed. "You are going home to rest mister!" Jason scolded him. "Meanie!" grumbled Kevin. Jason giggled as he leaned forward and kissed Kevnin on the lips. Kevin reached over and pushed the privacy shield and it slid up. He barely caught the ammused grin of the driver. Jason reached for his belt buckle and undid his pants. In about three seconds later he had Kevin's cock out in down his throat. "OOOHH God Baby!" rasped Kevin as he bucked his hips to meet Jason's onslaught. Jason grinned as he bobbed up and down on Kevin's cock. He greedily sucked up the precum that leaked out of the tip. Kevin let out a groan and continued to thrust his cock in and out of Jason's mouth. He looked down at Jason and saw complete contentment on Jason's face. His lover was the happiest pleasuring Kevin. Kevin could feel his orgasm building. It wouldn't be long. Jason must have suspected too because he picked up the tempo. "Ohh Jesus Jason," groaned Kevin. "I'm real close babe." Jason let out a giggle and continued his assault. Jason felt Kevin's body spasmed one last time. The first blast hit him in the back of the throat. He drove his mouth down to the hilt. The next few blasts shot down Jason's eager throat. Jason eagerly swallowed the gift that Kevin offered him. Soon the flow stopped and Jason gently licked Kevin's cock clean. He than fixed Kevin's clothes and snuggled up to him. "All better?" he asked grinning up at Kevin. Kevin just rolled his eyes and laughed softly. "What?" Jason asked Innocently. "You are so mean!" Kevin laughed. "But yes in answer to your question I am better." He looked sad and looked over at Jason. "I want to make love to you babe so bad," he wimpered. "I am so tired of this love thing being one sided. I miss the way you taste. I miss the way your cock feels when it erupts in my mouth. I miss your little whimpers when I tease you. Dammit I miss you babe," Kevin said with tears in his eyes. Jason pulled him down in an embrace. "I know you miss me Kevin. I miss not being able to give myself fully to you. But it is not one sided. I enjoy giving you pleasure so much," Jason said softly. "And I love it when you make love to me," Jason said seductively. "Will you?" he asked. Kevin got a twinkle in his eye. "Will I what?" he asked innocently. Jason slugged him in the shoulder. Kevin smiled sweetly down at Jason and kissed him. "Of course I will babe." Jason hit the button and the shield slid down. "Driver!" ordered Jason. "Sir?" asked the Driver grinning from ear to ear. "Step on it!" Jason laughed. "You in a rush dear?" teased Kevin. Jason looked down at Kevin's crotch and licked his lips. "You are so bad Jason!" Kevin laughed. Kevin dropped Jason on the bed and started tearing off his clothes. Jason reached up and helped Kevin out of his clothes. Once Kevin was naked he lay on top of Jason and started kissing with such passion that it scared Jason a little. Kevin reached for Jason's shirt button and when it wouldn't come undone he ripped it off. "That was my favorite shirt," giggled Jason. "I'll buy you a new one babe," Kevin said as he attacked Jason's neck sucking hard on it. Jason ground his crotch into Kevin's. Kevin paused and reached over on the bedstand to retreive a condom. With the upmost care he slid it over Jason's cock and than engulfed Jason's cock. Jason threw back his head and groaned. Kevin let out a giggle. Unknown to Jason he had gotten flavored Condoms. Jason was enjoying the blow job that Kevin was giving him. Kevin still missed the natural flavor of Jason's cock and it's juices. But he was happy that he was able to pleasure Jason as Jason did him. When he got Jason all excited he got off of Jason's cock and laid back and lifted his ankles and uged Jason on with a look. Jason did not need to be asked twice. He took Kevin's ankles and laid them on his shoulders. He than placed his cock at Kevin's entrance. Kevin smiled and winked at Jason's to urge him on. Jason eased into Kevin. Kevin let out a small whimper of pain. Jason stopped and looked down at his lover. "Pleas go on Babe," Kevin begged. Jason slid in all the way. His body was assaulted with the incredible feeling of being inclosed in a soft but firm glove. He pulled out and slammed into Kevin again. Kevin groaned in pleasure. Jason started pulling in and out of Kevin. He enjoyed watching Kevin's body react to the pleasure he was causing. He could feel his orgasm building. He thew his weight into the last few thrust shot his load into the comdom. Kevin watched is lover as he felt the cock swell in him. As soon as his orgasm subided he withdrew quickly. He didn't want to burn Kevin with his bodily fluids. He slid the condom off and threw it in the trash. He looked down at his lovers sweaty body. He felt himself getting aroused again. He extended his hand and took Kevin's. "Come on babe," he smiled weakly. "Lets take a shower." Kevin grinned and took his hand and pulled himself up. Three hours later the phone rang and the two lovers groaned and sat up in bed. Kevin reached for the phone. "Hello," he said into it. There was silence on the other end. "Hello, any one there?" he asked again. "Tic toc tic toc," said a chilling familar voice. "You remember me don't you?" "Luke!" breathed Kevin. Jason was up in a heart beat. "What do you want?" "Oh nothing, I was just standing outside room 316 at the hospital and thought I would give you a call. Tic toc Tic toc," he laughed into the phone and hung up. Kevin hand shook as he hung up the phone. "I have to get to the Hospital," he mumbled as he climbed out of bed. "What does Luke want?" Jason asked. "I don't know but he said he was outside Room 316," Kevin said as he threw on some clothes. "That is Johnny's room!" Jason exclaimed as he climbed out of bed too. "I'm going with you." "Jas I don't think that it is a good idea--," Kevin started. "No arguments!" Jason shouted. Kevin jumped at the shouting. "Dammit Kevin! Johnny is part of my family to. If he is in danger I want to--, No I need to be there!" So Kevin reluctantly agreed to let Jason come. Soon the two were racing off to the hospital. Once there they raced up to the room. They got in hearing distance of the room and heard Johnny's laughter. Some one was in the room with him. Kevin reached to door first and swung it open. Luke was sitting on the edge of the bed. Kevin's first instinct was to go off on Luke. But he restrained himself for Johnny's sake. "Hi Dad!" exclaimed Johnny grinning when he caught sight of Kevin. "Hi Johnny," Kevin said as he leaned down and gave him a quick hug. He looked out of the corner of his eye and saw Luke pull his jackett aside and saw that he had a gun. Jason saw it too but Luke didn't see Jason. Jason snuck back outside to contact security. Kevin stood up and walked over to Luke. "Hi Luke," he said cheerfully. "When did you get back in town?" Johnny bought it. He thought that Kevin was warming up to an old friend. "Hey Luke why don't you and I step out for a moment so that Johnny can get some rest?" "Sure Kevin," Luke said glaring at him. He wanted control of the situation and Kevin wasn't giving it to him. He would have to take control of the situation real soon. On the way out he spotted Jason by the nurses station. He headed towards him but Kevin grabbed his arm. "Uh uh Luke," said Kevin in a deadly quiet voice. "I don't know what the fuck your game is but you are not dragging my family in it. This is between you and me!" Kevin heard the elevator doors open. Luke saw the security gaurds step out of the elevator. Kevin saw Lukes hand reach into his jacket and that was when Kevin made his move. He tackled Luke and sent him crashing against the against the nurses station. Luke crawled back to his feet taking the gun from his jacket. Kevin backed up keeping Jason behind him. The security gaurds had surrounded Luke by now. "Drop the gun!" ordered one of the gaurds. Luke looked franticaly from one gaurd to another. "I said drop the gun!" shouted the Gaurd again. "Last warning sir!" Luke looked like he was going to drop it than he smiled and pointed the gun in his mouth. "God Luke don't!" screamed Kevin. But the warning came to late. The trigger was pulled, the shot rang out through the ward. Lukes head jerked back, still wearing the same insane grin. Women screamed and Kevin turned and buried his head in Jason's shoulder. Dead silence filled the hospital hall way. Kevin looked down at his former lover. Than he heard a child's voice crying. He looked up and saw Johnny standing in the doorway staring through his tears looking down at Luke. Jason sprung into action and went to Johnny and guided him back into the hospital room. Kevin backed against the wall and slid down and brought his knees to his chest. Jason carried a frightened Johnny back to his bed. Johnny was sobbing quietly now. "I wanna go home," he whimpered clinging to Jason. "Please take me home," he cried into Jason's shoulder. "You have to stay here Johnny," Jason said soothingly. "I'm scared," he whimpered again. Jason fought back tears as he looked down at the frightened little boy. He pulled Johnny in a tight embrace and kept whispering in his ear. "It will be all right, I'm not going any where." Finally the crying stopped and Jason discovered that Johnny had fallen asleep. He laid the child down in bed and stepped outside and went up to Kevin. Kevin was a wreck. He had tears streaming down his face. "I hate him!" he shouted at Jason. "Why did he have to do that?" Jason hugged Kevin and allowed Kevin to cry into his shoulder. "I hate him!" he sobbed again. "Johnny is sleeping," Jason said softly. Kevin looked up and sniffled and kissed Jason on the cheek. "How is he?" Kevin said wiping his face. "He is scared, he wants to go home," Jason answered. Kevin slammed his fist into the wall. "Fucking bastard!" he shouted. Jason put a calming hand on Kevin's shoulder. Kevin wrenched himself away from Jason. "This is his fault! He is the one who traumatised my boy in there!" Kevin was starting to draw the attention of the nursing staff. "Kevin let's go somewhere where we can talk," Jason said leading him to a waiting room. Kevin walked around the room as if he was in a daze. He kept mumbling something over and over again. "Kevin, please talk to me babe," begged Jason. Kevin looked at him and walked towards him. Jason stood up and met him half way. "This is not your fault babe," Jason said calmly. "I should've been able to protect him from that. No child should ever have to see that," Kevin sobbed. "All I want to do is make that little boy in there happy." Jason nodded and kissed Kevin on the forhead. "Tell me the words to make it better," pleaded Jason. Kevin looked into Jason's eyes and saw saddness. He wiped the tears from Jason's face. "I hate to see you in pain Kevin." "I am sorry Jason, I am so sorry that I had to drag you into my fucked up life!" Kevin sobbed balling up his fists. Jason grabbed his fists and unclenched them. "Kevin," he said. Kevin looked away stubbornly. "Kevin, look at me!" Jason said with authority. Kevin looked down at his feet. "LOOK AT ME!!" Jason shouted. Kevin glared up at Jason. "Do not dare say that again. I love you and I wanted to be a part of your life. And don't think that you are going to get rid of me. I love you for better and for worse. Luke was the worst. Johnny is the best. I take the good with the bad." Jason was sobbing now. He was afraid that Kevin was going to push him away. Kevin was his rock and he needed him as much as Kevin needed him. "Why do you put up with me?" asked Kevin grinning sheepishly. Jason looked at him with mild amusement. "Because you are best looking man around mister, and I love you," he giggled. He held out his hand and Kevin grabbed it. "Come on love, let's go see our son." The two lovers walked out of the room and headed towards Johnny's room. As they approached the room they heard Johnny laughing his head off. Jason looked at Kevin and Kevin shrugged his shoulder. They opened the door and found Johnny talking on the phone and giggling. It was a welcome sound. "Uncle Justin!" giggled Johnny. "That was not nice. You say you're sorry to JC." Kevin looked at Jason and Jason shrugged his shoulders. Johnny let out a long stream of words relating to Pokemon games and cards. The only words that Jason understood was Picachu and ketchup and not sharing with Ash. "Hey Uncle Justin," exclaimed Johnny looking over at his Foster Dad. "Dad is here, you want to talk to him?" Kevin rolled his eyes and took the phone away from Johnny. Johnny gave him a scolding look and Kevin smiled at him. "Hey Justin, how was the oscars?" asked Kevin. "It was ok, I was kind of out of it. I'm sorry that Jason didn't win," Justin said sadly. "Don't worry about it Curly, cause we're not," Kevin said. "How is Johnny doing?" Justin asked. Kevin could tell by the tone of his voice that Justin knew. "He is scared Justin," Kevin said walking away from the bed eyeing Jason. Jason took this as a sign to occupy Johnny. "He didn't need to see Luke blow his brains out." "Yea I know, he has been through so much crap right now. He didn't need that before his transplant," Justin said. "Where are you going to be when Johnny gets his transplant?" Kevin asked. "I want to be there for him and you two. But I have concert in Texas tomorrow night. I will be thinking of him," Justin said with his voice cracking. "Hey Curly," soothed Kevin. "He will be all right. He is a strong little boy. And he has you to thank. Cause with out you the Bone Marrow transplant wouldn't be happening." Kevin heard silence on the other end. He handed the phone to Jason. "Hey Justin?" asked Jason. "Yea Jas?" sniffled Justin. "He is going be all right man," Jason said. "I just want to be there for him," Justin sniffled again. "Are you alone?" Jason asked. "No, JC is here with me," Justin said. "Put him on the phone," instructed Jason. Justin sighed and handed the phone to JC. "Hey Jason wass up?" asked a hyper JC. Jason face lit up with a grin. "Do me a favor JC," instructed Jason. "Any thing for you man," JC said. Jason tried not to laugh but failed. "Promise me you will take care of Justin for me?" Jason pleaded. "He is really having a hard time with this not being there for Johnny. Convince him that Johnny is in real good hands." "You got it Jason. And Jason?" asked JC. "Yea?" asked Jason back. "You get some sleep," ordered JC. "I'm fine Joshua," giggled Jason. He knew that JC hated to be called that. "Hey I been looking up on the net about side affects of Chemotherapy. I see those signs in you. Come on man you have to take better care of yourself," JC pleaded. Jason knew he was fighting a losing battle. "Ok JC, I promise that I will take better care of myself. And I will get plenty of sleep," Jason said in a convincing voice. "Hey JC Kevin wants Johnny to say good bye to Justin so he can get some sleep." Jason handed the phone back to Johnny. "Uncle Justin?" asked a smiling Johnny. "Hey buddy!" said Justin trying to sound cheerful. He wiped his eyes dry. JC put his arm around Justin and Justin laid his head on his shoulder. "I'm gonna sing a song for you tomorrow night Okay?" "That will be so cool!" giggled Johnny. "Dad is giving me the bedtime look." Kevin rolled his eyes and Jason let out a strangled laugh. Kevin punched Jason in the shoulder and Jason punched him back. "Now they are beating up on eachother!" Johnny said busting up laughing. "Ok Johnny," said Justin sadly. "I gonna let you go. You get alout of sleep tonight and tell your parents that I love them. "I miss you," sniffled Johnny. "I miss you too Nephew," Justin said his eyes watering. He pushed the off button and handed the phone to JC. "God I hope that transplant takes." "It will Justin, I just know it will buddy," JC said wrapping his arms around Justin. Chapter 20 The next morning dawned with the sun shinning and birds singing. Jason climbed out of bed feeling refreshed. He looked over to the other side of the bed. It was empty his husband had spent the night at the hospital with Johnny. Today was the day that Johnny would get his new Bone Marrow. Jason was excited. Hopefully it would be the cure that every one was hoping for. Jason struggled out of bed. As he stood a huge wave of dizziness washed over him. He grabbed the bedpost to regain his balance. After regaining his balance he made his way to the Bathroom. He wasn't going to miss out on the most important day in Johnny's life. At the Hospital Johnny wakes up and looks around to find his room empty. Kevin was no where to be found. He looked around for Breakfast but didn't find the tray. Than he remembered today was the day of the transplant. He couldn't have anything to eat. He switched on the TV and watched some cartoons. Half way through Pokemon he hears the phone ring. He picks it up. "Hello?" he asks into the reciever. "Hey Johnny!" says Justin. "I wanted to call and wish you luck on your big day." "Uncle Jusin!" exclaimed Johnny grinning from ear to ear. "Where are you?" he asked excited. "I'm in Orlando. I'm going to spend the day with my little brother at Disney!" Justin said. "I wish I was there," mumbled Johnny. "Hey I tell you what Buddy. As soon as you are all better I'll take a week off and we can spend it down here at Disney. Mom and Jonathan are dying to meet you," Justin said. They talked for a few more moments and than Kevin walked in and grinned at Johnny. Johnny started laughing at him. "Hey what's so funny?" asked Justin. "It's just Dad. He is making funny faces at me," giggled Johnny. He handed the phone to Kevin. "Hey Justin," Kevin said. "I want you to know that as soon as we find out anything I will call you!" "Thanks Kevin," Justin said. "I'm not afraid to tell you that I am really afraid of losing him." "Well just pray that the Bone Marrow takes," Kevin said softly into the phone so that Johnny wouldn't hear. "Say hi to all the guys for me." "I will do that Kevin. Oh and tomorrow night I am going to dedicate a song to Johnny at the concert. Can I use one of the pictures to flash up on the screens? I want the crowd to know what my nephew looks like," Justin asked. "Sure, use your best judgement," Kevin answered smiling. They talked for a few moments and hung up. Kevin got up and sat next to Johnny and pulled him in a hug. "Hey Buddy, whacha watching?" Johnny looked up at Kevin and snuggled closer to hm. "Just watching Pikachu not sharing his ketchup with Ash," Johnny said. Than he proceded to go in great detail explaining to Kevin all about Pokemon. Kevin listen patiently taking in every word. After all it was his duty to be up on all the latest trends. He was so engrossed in the conversation that he didn't see Jason walk into the room. A hand rests on his shoulder shocking him. He turns and sees Jason standing there with a single rose in his hand. He smiles and takes the rose from Jason and kisses him tenderly. "Hi sweety," smiled Jason as he wraps his arms around his lover. He looks over at Johnny and smiles at him. Johnn joins in on the hug. Kevin starts gasping for air. "Air, must have air to breathe," he wheezes out. They all break apart laughing. The door opens and the Doctor walks in with several assistants. "It is time we begun," explained the Doctor. Johnny looks up at Kevin and grabs his hand and holds it tightly. "I'm scared Dad," he says softly. "I will be right here with you. I am not going anywhere," Kevin says as he kisses his son. He pulls away as they set up the isolation tent around Johnny. They watch as they hang the pouch that contains the precious bone marrow cells. Kevin and Jason step out of the room and watch from the window as they plug the IV tubing into Johnny's IV. The Doctor reaches over and opens the valve that will release the cells into Johnny bloodstream. A tear runs down Kevin's face. Jason's is there to wipe it free. "God Jas," Kevin sobbs. I hope this works." "Just pray that it does," Jason said. Kevin looked down and saw that Jason was fingering his Rosary Beads. Kevin smiled a little. It seemed that Jason was never far away from his Rosary. It provided Jason with a comfort that Kevin didn't understand. The door opened and the Doctor stepped out of the room. "Ok we need to go through a few things. First we will have to follow strict isolation procedures. That means a complete isolation gown. You will also have to wear a cap over your head. A mask must be worn at all times and goves as well. We have to keep that room as germ free as we possibly can. Jason you need to be expecially careful. If you get the slightest cold or sniffles you are out for the duration. In fact I would rather you not be in the room at all," the Doctor said. Kevin opened his mouth to object but Jason stopped him. "No Kevin," Jason said touching Kevin's shoulder. "The Doctor is right. We can not risk infection getting in that room. I am a sick man. Sick men do not belong in that room." Kevin nodded grudgingly. "Second," continued the Doctor. "We are very worried about him rejecting the Bone Marrow. If that happens we stand a very good chance of losing him. We are taking percautions. There are anti rejections drugs out on the market and we plan on taking full advantage of them." Kevin and Jason listened carefully to what the Doctor had to say. Finally the Doctor was done and he went back into the room. The Pouch was empty and it was removed. The Doctor stepped back out of the room. He removed his cap and mask and gloves. "Now all we can do is wait and pray that it takes," he said giving Kevin's arm a squeeze. "He will out for quite a while. I sugest that you take advantage of that and go home and gets some rest." Kevin and Jason nodded in agreement and left the hospital. Once in the car Kevin took out his cell phone and dialed Justin's number. In Orlando (At a Concert) "Hey Justin!" shouted JC as he looked around the stage for him. He found him sitting on the edge of the stage looking out over the empty seats. In a few hours it would be full of screaming fans. Justin's mind was not on the concert. His mind was on the Bone Marrow Transplant. He looked at his watch. Johnny's transplant must have started by now. It even might be completed. Justin said a quiet prayer that all went well. "Hey Justin," said JC again as he sat down next to the youngest member of Nsync. "Whacha doing?" "Just thinking is all," mumbled Justin looking out over the empty seats again. "He is going to be all right Justin," JC said quietly. "Johnny is in good hands. Justin nodded and picked up the bottle of water that was seated beside him and drank heavily from it. The ringing of his cell phone broke through the silence. He grabbed it and pushed the power button. "Hi, Kevin?" he asked expantly. "Yea Justin it's me, Kevin," Kevin said on the other end. "Just wanted to let you know that the Transplant went through as plan." "How is he?" Justin asked scared. "He is resting quietly now. Jason and I are headed home to get some rest," Kevin answered. Justin took a huge breath when he realized that he had been holding his breath. "Thank God!" he breathed out. JC rubbed Justin's back as Justin allowed himself to cry from the releife. "Tell him that I love him and I am thinking of him." "You know I will Curly," Kevin said. "Hey Jason wants to talk to you for a second." Kevin handed the phone to Jason. "Hey Justin," Jason croaked into the phone. He coughed a few times to clear his throat. Kevin felt his forehead and frowned. Jason swatted his hand away. "You sound terrible Jason," Justin said in a worried tone. "I'm just catching a small cold is all," Jason said. "You need to rest Buddy," Justin insisted. Jason rolled his eyes. "Stop that!" Justin scolded. "Stop what?" laughed Jason. "Stop rolling your eyes," Justin laughed back. "Listen Jason. A cold is not something you want. Not in your condition. You know that your immune system is compromised as it is. Promise me you will stay home in bed and get plenty of rest." "Yes Mom," sighed Jason. "I'm worried about you Jas," Justin said glaring into the phone. "I know you are Justin. Don't worry Kevin will make sure that I behave myself," Jason said as he winked at Kevin. Kevin shook his finger at him and Jason caught it and sucked on it for minute as he listened to Justin tell him his plans for the concert. All to soon it was time for Jason to hang up as the car pulled into the gates of South Fork. Once inside Jason turned to Kevin. "Hey Kevin, I'm going to head up stairs and take a quick shower than I'm going to hit the bed for some sleep. You comming?" "I'll be up in a few moments. I just want to call Mom and let her know what is going on," Kevin said as he kissed Jason on the forehead. He frowned when he felt the heat radiating from Jason. Jason climbed the stairs and ignored the look from Kevin. He knew what the look was for. Kevin had an Elevator installed for Jason when Jason was in a wheel chair before christmas. Jason hated the thing and refused to use it. Jason made it to the top of the stairs and headed for the shower. "Hey mom it's me Kevin," he said into the phone. "Just wanted to let you know that Johnny's bone marrow transplant went through as planned with no complications." "That is wonderful news Kevin," his mother said. "How is Jason doing?" "He is doing all right. He has caught a small cold so he is taking it easy," Kevin said into the phone. Hey Mom I was wondering---," Kevin started when he heard a crash upstairs. "Mom I have to call you later, I think Jason just fell!" He slammed the phone down and raced up the stairs and into the master suite. He looked in hooror as he saw his lover laying on the floor in the shower. He was trying to climb back up on his feet. Kevin raced to his side. "Baby don't move!" Kevin shouted. "Let me check you out first." After spending a few moments checking Jason out. He picked Jason up tenderly and carried him to the bed and laid him in it. It broke his heart to see his lover in pain. Jason looked up at Kevin and saw the unshed tears in his eyes. "I'm all right Kevin," he said softly. Kevin leaned down and hugged him. Jason let out a small moan as Kevin brushed up against his right shoulder. Kevin looked down at it and saw that it was bruising. Kevin let out a small sob. After getting him some pain killers he covered his lover up and left the room. He had an errand to run and he wasn't sure how Jason would take it. An Hour later. Jason woke up to a smiling face of Kevin. He smiled back and tried to sit up. His right shoulder was killing him. Kevin helped him up. "Jason, I got you something," he said pointing to the door. Jason looked over at the door and saw the Walker. Anger welled up in him. "Get that thing the hell out of here!" he shouted at Kevin. "No Jason!" he shouted back. "You need that Walker and you will use it!" "I am not a fucking cripple!" Jason hurled at him. "Don't you dare treat me like one. Get rid of that thing!" "No Jason I wont," Kevin said in a calm voice. "I love you Baby, and I don't want you to fall again. Please Babe I just---," Kevin started. "GET OUT!!" shouted Jason. Kevin took a few steps back with tears in his eyes. Jason had never ordered him out of the room before. "Please Jas---," Kevin tried again. "GET OUT!!" Jason shouted again. Kevin bowed his head and left the room. Jason reached over and grabbed a vase and hurled it at the walker. It missed and hit the door shattering it and sending flowers and water all over the door and floor. "Fuck!" he shouted. He had never felt so helpless as he felt right then. He burried his head in his hands and sobbed. He eventually cried himself to sleep. Kevin walked down stairs swearing. Scrappy saw him coming and took off running. He could always tell when Kevin was in a bad mood. "Stubborn Jackass!" Kevin shouted upstairs towards Jason's room. He cringed when he heard the crash of the vase against the door. He than wondered into the living room and his eyes caught sight of Jason's picture on the mantle. It was a picture of him on their wedding day. He sharp blue eyes smiled at Kevin. His bleached blonde hair with black highlights was windblown and he was smiling that crazy lopsided grin that Kevin fell in love with the moment he laid eyes on him. Tears flowed from Kevin's eyes as he thought of the man who laid upstairs in their room. Inside he was the same witty and crazy in love Jason. But outside he was shell of his former self. His hair was all gone. Cheekbones shown clearly. Dark circles around his eyes. Even the sparkle in his eyes were gone. "God Jason, I miss you so much!" he sobbed out as he ran his finger along the side of the picture. He sighed and turned and headed back upstairs. He couldn't leave things the way they were. He crept into the room and his eyes fell upon his lover sleeping. He had his arms wrapped around Kevin's pillow and he had obviously cried himself to sleep. Kevin sat on the side of the bed looking down at his lover. He leaned down and graced Jason's cheek with a kiss. Jason moaned and opened his eyes. "Hey sweetie, can I trade me for that pillow you are holding?" Kevin asked softly. Jason smiled and scooted over to make room for Kevin. Kevin couldn't help but grin. Jason was in the habit of stealing Kevin's spot on the bed. Jason caught the grin. "Hey!" he complained with a yawn. "I missed you." Kevin lay down next to Jason and allowed Jason to wrap his arms around him. Jason than buried his face in the back of Kevin's neck and inhaled deeply. Kevin let out a giggle. "MMMM you smell so good Babe," whispered Jason. "I'm sorry I yelled at you," Jason said in a small voice. "SHHHH I've forgotten all about it babe," Kevin said in a soothing voice. Jason let out a cough. Kevin's brow wrinkled with worry. He turned over so that he was facing Jason. He felt his fore head. "You're running a fever," he said looking worried. "You want something for it?" Jason nodded and Kevin got up and headed for the bathroom and returned with two tylenol and a glass of water. Jason gladly took the tylenol and water and than he turned to Kevin. "You may have forgotten about it Kevin, but I can't forget. I shouldn't have acted like that," he said sadly. "I forgive you babe, now why don't you get some rest?" asked Kevin as he wrapped his arms around Jason. Jason snuggled up to him and closed his eyes. The ringing of the phone woke Kevin from his deep sleep. Raising his head he looked around and spotted the phone on the bedside table. He reached for hit and hit the power button. "Hello?' he asked into the phone. "Mr. Richardson?" asked a voice. "Yes this is he how can I help you?" Kevin asked again. "This is Doctor Smith at the Hospital. Sir we need you at the Hospital," said Dr. Smith. An ice cold feeling struck Kevin's heart as a feeling of dread crept over him. "What is wrong?" asked Kevin. He noticed that his hand was trembling. Jason heard the concern in Kevin's voice and sat up. "What is wrong with Johnny?" Kevin asked again using more force. "I'm sorry sir, but Johnny is showing strong signs of rejecting the new bone marrow," the Doctor explained. "I'll be there shortly," Kevin said wiping tears from his face. He put the phone down on the bedside table. "What is wrong Babe?" asked Jason as he kissed Kevin's bare shoulder. "It's Johnny, he is rejecting the bone marrow. Kevin got up and threw on some clothes. "I'm going over to the hospital to see him." "I understand, is there anything that you want me to do?" Jason asked getting up and going over to Kevin and wrapping his arms around his waist. "Just pray Jas," Kevin whispered. In a few minutes Kevin was on his way to the hospital. He took his own car incase Jason needed to go out. Jason could no longer drive by himself. So they had hired a full time driver. Jason walked slowly to the elevator, using the walker. He discovered that using the walker wasn't as bad as he had thought. Once the elevator reached the ground level of the house he walked to the living room just in time to get the phone. "Hello?" he asked into it. "Hey Jas!" exclaimed Justin. Jason closed his eyes in sorrow. Justin was calling for an update on Johnny. Jason hated having to tell him. He took a deep breath and let it out loudly. Justin heard it. "What's wrong with Johnny?" he asked his voice cracking. "He is showing signs of rejecting the Bone Marrow," Jason said. "Oh God no!" sobbed Justin. "Where is Kevin?" "He just left for the hospital a few moments ago," Jason said. "Do you want me there?" Justin asked. "Only if you can get away," Jason replied. "Consider it done!" Justin said. "I'm on the next flight out!" At the hospital. Kevin walked into the room dressed in his isolation gear. He walked up to the bed. Johnny was sleeping but Kevin could tell that he was in pain. His heart rate was up and he was taking short and fast breaths. Kevin turned to the nurse who was standing beside Johnny's bed. "How is he?" Kevin asked sticking his gloved had through the access portal and stroking Johnny's face. He was hot to the touch. "His fever is high and his systems are slowly shutting down," the nurse said sadly. Kevin sank to his knees and cried into his arms. "I'll get the doctor so he can explain it to you." The nurse walked out and Kevin pulled up a chair and sat next to the bed looking at Johnny. Johnny was fighting for every breath he took. Kevin looked over at the machines that were helping him breath. "Please God!" whimpered Kevin. "Please don't take him from me," Kevin sobbed out. Johnny's eyes opened and he looked over at his foster father crying. "Dad?" said a tiny voice. Kevin was startled out of his praying and he looked at Johnny. "Am I gonna to die?" he asked with fear in his eyes. Kevin choked back a sob. "God has other plans for you Johnny," Kevin said softly to his foster son. "He is calling you home." "But my home is with you and Jason," the small child cried out. Kevin's heart went out to him. He wanted to hold him so bad. "Please Dad, can you talk to him and tell him I have to stay here with you." Kevin smiled softly at his foster son. It was so like him to ask him that. "I think that I would have a problem convinsing God to let you stay. Remember the night that you wanted to stay up late?" Johnny nodded. "Well it is the same thing. God needs you to come home now. We have to accept it. We can not change it. As much as we want to change it we can't." He heard the door open and he turned around to see the Doctor standing there. The Doctor motioned him out side. Kevin stood up and followed him out. They walked into the waiting room. Once inside Kevin turned to the Doctor. "How much time does he have?" "Hours maybe days," the Doctor said sadly. "He is fighter and he will hold out to the end." "Is there any thing we can do?" asked Kevin his eyes filling with tears. The Doctor shook his head sadly. "We can make him confortable, but I am afraid that most of his major organs are shutting down. There is just to much damage to stop it now." "I want to hold him," Kevin said bluntly. The doctor nodded and wrote some orders down in Johnny's record. "I am removing him from isolation and putting him on a DNR status," the Doctor explained to Kevin. "Is that acceptable with you?" "What is a DNR status?" Kevin asked confused. "If he goes into cardiac arrest or respiratory arrest we will not try and revive him, it would only prolong his suffering," the Doctor said. Kevin gave him his consent to do that. "I would recommend calling Jason and having him here too. This could all happen very fast." Kevin nodded and grabbed his cell phone and dialed the number to South Fork, Jason was sitting on the couch in the living room where he was praying. The phone ring and answers it. "Hello?" "Jas, it's me Kev," Kevin said into the phone. He was overcome with grief and he stopped talking to gather his thoughts. "I'm here Babe, I'm not going anywhere," Jason consoled Kevin. After a few minutes Kevin was able to talk again. "We need you here," Kevin said. "Johnny is not going to make it." Tears flowed down Jason's face when he heard the hard cold truth. "Please hurry Babe." "I'm on my way, and Kevin?" Jason asked. "I called Justin and he is on his way to." "I hope he makes it on time," Kevin said looking at his watch and calculating in his head just how long it would take Justin to get here. It would take a good five hours to get here. Kevin prayed a silent prayer that he would make in time. Twenty Minutes Later. Jason walked into the room. He noticed that the isolation tent was removed from the room. Kevin was in bed with his son holding him close to his chest. Johnny was awake and talking quietly with Kevin. Kevin bent down and kissed the top of Johnny's head. "Hey guys you having a party with out me?" he said in a forced cheerful voice. Kevin looked up and smiled. Johnny smiled at Jason too. Jason made his way over to the bed. "Johnny can I ask an important question?" Jason asked as he took the little boy's hand. It was so hot. Johnny nodded. "Have you been Baptized? "No," Johnny said. "Would you like to be?" Jason asked. Johnny nodded his head yes. Johnny turned to a nurse. "Can you get a priest up here please?" The Nurse nodded. Kevin reached over and grabbed Jason's hand and pulled over so that all three were holding hands. "One Family," Kevin said with fresh tears flowing down his face. Jason nodded silently not trusting himself to talk. A few moments later the door opened and A Priest entered. "Thank you for coming," Jason said getting up and shaking the Priest's hand. "Johnny has requested that he be baptized. "Are either of you Catholic?" the Priest asked. "I am Catholic," Jason answered. The Priest nodded silently. It was obvious that he did not approve of Same Sex Realationships. "You do understand that if I do this and he survives that he will have to raised in the Catholic Faith. Again Jason nodded. The Priest sighed and opened his box of oils and Holy Water. "What Name do you give this child?" he asked. I looked at Kevin and Kevin looked at Johnny. "Johnnathan, Jason Richardson," Johnny answered the Priest. Taking the small bottle of Holy water he poured three drops of holy water on Johnny's forehead. "I baptize you, Johnnathan Jason Richardson in the Name of the Father Son and Holy Spirit." Kevin bowed his head in silent prayer as did Jason to. Johnny was now ready to meet his God. The rest of the ceremony passed and Johnny fell asleep in Kevin's arms. Jason got up and left the room to get Kevin something to eat. Four hours later. The sun has set casting every thing in darkness. Lights shown brightly lighting up the Hospital. A lone cab pulls up to the front of the building and two lone figures get out of the cab and run into the building. Jason wakes up as he hears the whimpering of a child in pain. He looks over at the bed. The smell of death looms over this room like a shroud. Kevin is still holding his foster son as if willing him to live. Johnny whimpers again this time waking Kevin. Kevin gently strokes the childs face with the back of his hand. "SHHH, Johnny it will be all right. Try to get some more sleep." Tears flow down Jason's face as he watches the scene before him. The prospect of losing another son is fast approaching. For him it is old business. But for his husband it is all to new and devastating. The door opens and Justin and JC walks quietly in. They both look tired. Jason gets up and hugs Justin. Justin is sobbing into Jason's shoulder. "He's been asking for you," Jason says to the grief stricken singer. "I can't," sobbed Justin turning away. "I can't say good bye. Please don't make me do that," he pleaded. "You would deny him the chance to say good bye to his Uncle?" asked Jason sternly. Justin wipes his face and takes a deep breath and steps towards Johnny's bed. He reaches out and takes his hand. Johnny wakes up and looks at Justin and smiles. "Hi there Buddy," Justin says his voice cracking. "You weren't thinking of going to the party with out saying good bye were you?" "I don't wanna go," Johnny whimpers. Justin gets down on his knees and takes Johnny's small hand in his own. "Please Justin don't make me go," Johnny pleaded. His voice was so small and weak that Justin could hardly hear him. He also heard the dreaded sound of the Death Rattle. He knew that it was only a matter of minutes and not hours. Justin reached up and stroked the boy's face. "You are such a lucky boy, you know that?" Justin asked forcing a smile. Johnny looked confused. "You are ready to embark on a incredible journey. You are going to a place that knows no more pain or suffering, no tears or heartache." "I wanna stay here with you," Johnny said getting a stubborn look in his eye. Justin let out a gentle laugh. "You would deny God your company?" Justin asked sternly. Johnny thought about that for a while and shook his head no. "I'm going to miss you Johnny." "Can you come with me?" Johnny asked sleepily. Justin knew that time was short. "I will be along in a little while, I promise," Justin said to the dying child. Justin knew that time did not excist in Heaven. So he wasn't lying to Johnny. While Justin talked to Johnny Kevin had choosen to step outside to get a drink of coffee. Jason followed Kevin to the waiting room. He stopped at the door and watched his husband trying to pour himself a cup of coffee. His hands were shaking with grief and his lower lip was trembling. He missed the cup all to gether and poured the coffee all over the table. "Damm!" muttered Kevin. "I can't even pour myself a cup of coffee!" He slammed the pot down on the counter. Jason stepped forward and took the pot and poured his lover a cup of coffee. Kevin smiled at Jason and took a sip. "What am I going to do Love?" he wept out. Jason pulled his lover into a hug. "I don't want him to leave me!" Jason held Kevin for a few moments comforting him for what was comming. Jason looked at the clock. It was 9:55 at night. Jason knew that his next task wasn't going to be easy. "Kevin?" Jason spoke softly into his lover's ear. "It is time." Kevin looked up at in confusion. "You have to say goodbye to your son," Jason choked out. Kevin broke away from Jason with a look of fear in his eyes. "Please Kevin, you must set him free," Jason wept out. "NO!" screamed Kevin. "I won't let him go!" "Kevin you must--," Jason pressed on. Kevin shoved Jason out of the way but Jason wouldn't let him go. "Kevin!" he shouted. Kevin glared at Jason. "You must give him permission to go home!" Tears were flowing down Jason's face. "End his suffering dammit!" he shouted at Kevin. Kevin sat down in a chair burrying his head in his hands sobbing uncontrolably. Jason knelt at Kevin's side putting his head against Kevin's forehead. "I remember not so long ago when you were there for me. I didn't want to look onto that cold slab that contained the body of my son. You were there helping me along. Kevin, you are not alone. I'm here with you and I am not going anywhere. Please Kevin, be the father that I know you can be. Set your son's spirit free!" Kevin looked into the eyes of his lover. Slowly he stood up and held out his arm for Jason. Jason took it and they walked together back to Johnny's room. 10:10 p.m. Kevin cradled his dying foster son in his arms. Johnny was having diffilculty breathing. His eyes were wide opened with fear as he struggled to maintain his hold on his life. Kevin looked down at his foster son and placed his mouth near Johnny's ear. "Johnny?" Kevin asked. Johnny's eyes registered that Kevin was talking to him. "You have to go now." Kevin clenched his eyes shut forcing the tears back. "God is calling you home. He wants you with him. You need to go home now. Don't worry about us, we are going to be fine. Your place is in Heaven now Baby." Johnny closed his eyes and drifted off into a fitful sleep. Kevin whispered into his ear. "Know that I will always love you my son." He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Jason smile down at him. "Jason loves you too. We will never forget what you did for us. Good bye my son," Kevin wept out. Johnny continued to fight for air for a few more minutes. Kevin leaned down and graced Johnn's forehead with a gentle kiss. Johnny let out a final sigh and than his chest rose no more. Johnny sat up in bed and looked around. He saw his foster father holding a child and weeping loudly. He saw his adopted uncle crying into the shoulder of JC. He saw the doctor at the bedside of the child making notes. He also saw Jason holding his foster father. "Hey Guys," he said loudly. None of the men in the room heard the boy. Johnny stood up and walked around. The first thing he noticed was that there was no pain. He made his way to his Foster Dad. "Dad?" he asked. Kevin didn't look up. He had buried his head in to the chest of the boy and was sobbing loudly. Upon looking closer at the boy he noticed that the boy looked like him. He took a couple of steps back. "Yes Johnnathan," said a soft medolic voice. "That body once belonged to you." Johnny looked up and saw a young man standing next to him. "Who are you?" Johnny asked. Strangely he was not afraid. He almost felt at home. A soft warm light radiated from the man. "Are you God?" he asked. "No Johnnathan, I am not God," the Man said kindly. "I am your Gaurdian Angel. Sent to you at your birth. I have been gaurding over you since you came into excistance." "What do I do now?" asked Johnny taking the outstretched hand. "We must leave this place. Your Father in heaven awaits you," the Angle said. "But what about them?" Johnny asked looking a little worried. "They must stay here a while longer. For they have missions that they have not yet completed. Your time is done. We must leave now," the angle gently urged the boy. The two turned their backs on the rest in the room and started to climb steps that led to an open doorway where a bright light shined forth. "What is heaven like?" asked Johnny excited as he started to walk faster to catch up with the angle. "It is your Fathers house. He has prepared a special place for you," the Angle explained patiently. "Is there a swiming pool and a basket ball hoop? Cause in my last house there was this really cool pool and I had my own computer and Games and and---," Johnny babbled on. The gaurdian angle laughed softly as they entered the door way and the door closed leaving the room and it's ocupants alone to their grief. ************************************************************************ Well there you have it. The second version of Chapters 19 & 20. Please take the time to read both versions. Than choose between the two to decide the path wich the story will continue. As easy as it might be to choose "Path to Light," please reserve judgement and go with the feeling that will take the story to new heights. Can Kevin be happy with out a son? or Will Kevin's and Jason's marriage survive the greatest threat of all? Johnny's true parents as they lay claim on a son that they abondoned more than eight years before. E-mail me you vote at frnceso@hotmail.com