Date: Thu, 29 Nov 2001 01:38:47 -0000
From: svjsr@hotmail.com
Subject: Sans Vous, Je Suis Rien - Part Three

Firstly I've received a few e-mails asking what the title means, well for
all you lot it means 'Without you, I'm nothing" and for those who didn't
get past primary school it's French :-).

Super-cheers to all those who have written to me, those of you who haven't
yet come on, what you waitin' for?  I don't bite; unless you ask nicely.
Seriously; I like to read people's responses and thoughts about the story,
please email me at svjsr@hotmail.com  Thanx especially to Kyle, the God of
Death, for helping me out with part of this section.

Also, this section is shorter than the previous ones due to mild pestering by
people who shall remain nameless (you know who you all are!) :-).

Everything in this story is fiction.  I've never meet N'Sync, Ms Spears, or any
other celebrity, and I'm not likely too either.  Hence any resemblance to
people, living or dead, is purely coincidence.

Sans Vous, Je Suis Rien: Part Three

Chapter Eight

We arrived at our destination at 5pm.  We were outside the back entrance to
our hotel in Denver.  The concert wasn't until the following night.

"How did the fans find out where we were staying?" Lance asked as he heard
the shrill screams of the 50 or so fans crowding the area between the bus and
the door.

"Whoever it was told the media as well." Joey commented as he spied the
ranks of reporters and photographers that occupied the strategic positions
near the doors.

"Darren, you'd should leave your stuff here." Justin said as I picked up my
bag.  "The fans will rip anything off you just in case it's ours."

"Hey!" I said indignantly, "They could all be here to see me!" I laughed causing
Justin to crack a grin.

"Also go first, they'll be less hyped up that way." JC said.

I made my way to the front of the coach and the door opened.  N'Sync's
security had forged something resembling a path through the crowd for which
I was grateful.  The fans screams and yells about doubled in volume when the
door of the bus opened, but they quickly quieted down as they realised that I
wasn't an N'Syncker.  The flashes of the photographers' cameras didn't cease
however.

Ten minutes later we were all safely inside the hotel and waiting in the lobby
as we were all checked in.  N'Sync had been greeted by their PA's who were
now discussing the various activities relevant to their N'Syncker.

"I need you to wash my underwear for me" Joey informed Dave, his PA.

"I think we need a night out to celebrate Just's engagement" Chris said to his
PA, Fiona, "Could you scout ahead in the next town for us please?"

Throughout the barrage of requests and instructions the five PA's noted down
their duties and made a few suggestions of their own.  JC finished first and
headed over to where I was watching the scene from the lifts.  I shook my
head whilst smiling at him as he walked over.

"Lives of the rich and famous" I said laughing.  JC smiled.

"You should have seen us before we employed them.  We were so
disorganised and with the schedule as hectic as it is on tour, we often never
found time to wash our clothes.  That's why I own 50-odd pairs of socks!"

"I can imagine.  My schedule" I made a mental point of pronouncing 'schedule'
the British way, "isn't anyway near as full as yous lot's and I have to rely on
other's sometimes" I said in sympathy.

"It won't be that empty a shedule after the story gets out that you hang out
with us" JC said gently mocking my accent, "I bet those reporters outside are
writing up stories on how 'Gay popstar is seen with boyband'" JC laughed.

"That'll be fun in the next interviews won't it" I said smiling, "'Which of the
group do you fancy?' and 'Have you seen them naked?' or even 'Are any of
them gay?'"

"Well the answer to the last two is no for sure, the other one..." JC trailed off
suggestively.

"I wouldn't be so sure about the last two JC." I smiled and it instantly faltered
as JC's mood shifted to a distinctly less-pleased look.

"Has someone told you something?" JC said curtly, anger clearly beginning to
build behind his voice.

"Uhm... No" I said, trying to gauge what I'd said to cause JC's emotional
wobble, "But I've seen something I'll never forget" I finished hoping that if I
played stupid it would all go away.

"What?" JC said sounding more confused than angry now.  I relaxed; he'd
obviously mistaken what I had said.

"Well let's just say whenever I need to shed some weight I'll look at Lance,
'cos the memories will cause me to loose my appetite!"

"Argh, gross!" JC exclaimed whilst laughing, his emotional blip gone as quick
as it came.

JC's loud comment drew the attention of the nearby N'Synckers, who had all
finished with their PA's now.

"What's so gross JC?" Joey enquired as he led the four over to where we
were standing.

"Darren probably propositioned him or something!" Chris thought out loud.
His humourless tone gained him death-glares  from the rest of his group.

"In his dreams!" I laughed, trying to ease the tensions filling the air between
the band 'mates'.

"Yeah, more like Darren was asking JC if he knew Nick Carter!" Justin said as
he too joined me in attempting to defuse the situation.  However our
comments went unnoticed as Lance squared up to Chris.

"Lance" I said catching his eye for a second, "I don't need you to fight my
battles."

"Well this isn't just about you" Lance said rather angrily before redirecting his
eyes back to Chris, "N'Sync has a large number of gay fans and I don't like
the fact that Chris has suddenly developed a severe case of homophobia."

"Well I don't like the fact that by letting ourselves get caught with Darren that
we are opening ourselves up to a whole new offensive on our image!" Chris
countered.

"We've faced all those questions before Chris, nothing will change!" JC
commented.

"Trust me Chris.  I don't particularly like the idea of being associated with a
bigot by the media!" I barked.

"Neither do I!" said Justin which drew somewhat startled looks from Lance
and Joey.

"Whatever.  Hanging round a fucking fag..." Chris abruptly halted his tirade as
a small group exited the lift near to our position.  JC and Lance stormed off
into the vacated lift followed swiftly by Justin and I, leaving Joey to try and
calm Chris down.

The four of us made no attempt to mask our anger during the lift ride and
even though no one spoke, the tension practically made the air buzz.

The lift doors opened onto the floor on which all of us, including Chris to many
people's dislike, would be staying for the next three nights.  It had been
decided that all the performers should have rooms on the same floor to make
security's job easier.  The rooms for N'Sync where all located together at one
end of the corridor whilst my dancers and I were housed at the other end.
Unlike the guys of N'Sync, me and my company were allocated standard twin
rooms and we all had to share to cut down costs.  I already knew that I was
sharing with Steve.

I jiggled the key in the door and swung it open in an attempt to rid myself of
some of my anger at Chris' attitude.  When the door stopped half-open even
after my hefty push I was mildly puzzled.  I stuck my head around the door
and my eyes were met with a sight that looked as if a tornado had swept
through.  Carefully picking my way through the various items of clothing which
had been discarded throughout the room I could hear a continuous stream of
swearing coming from the bathroom.

"Steve?" I asked.

"Yeah?" Steve's voice replied in a less than pleased tone.

"What happened here?  You can't have been here all that long."

"Paul called during the journey," Paul is Steve's boyfriend from back home,
"He has decided that it wasn't working out and we've split up."  Steve's voice
was rather emotionless seeing as the news he'd just delivered should have
shaken him quite a lot.

I stood there for a moment thinking about how best to approach the situation.
Just as I decided on my tactics Steve emerged from the bathroom and far
from being tearful and bedraggled, he was bright-eyed and dressed up for a
night out.

"What are you dressed like that for?" I said with a hint of surprise in my tone.

"Well, I'm going out to get wasted."  Steve replied adjusting his hair in the
mirror.

"I don't think that's a good idea Steve" I said sternly, a tone of voice that rarely
passes my lips.  "We have a show tomorrow."

"Fuck the show!" Steve snapped as his calm exterior began to crumble, "I
need alcohol and sex!"

"No you don't!" I countered, manoeuvring myself to block his exit.  "Sex is the
last thing you need."  Steve remained facing the mirror but looking at his feet.

"Well what do you suggest I do then?" Steve asked turning to face me, "Sit
here and think about that little bastard!"

"There's nothing wrong with going out and enjoying yourself if that's what you
want" I stated.

"Well then, I'll just be on my way then!" Steve said attempting to push past
me.

"Steve, it's only 5:30," I argued.

"So?" Steve said, giving up on pushing past me and walking back towards the
bed.

"It's way too early to go out drinking!" I countered, my voice raising a few
decibels.

"Not when your boyfriend's just dumped you!" Steve's voice matched my
increase and raised it by a few dozen.  We were practically yelling at each
other now but I was not going to give in, last time Steve and Paul had a tiff
Steve disappeared on a drinking trip for nearly two days so you can see why I
was not going to let him go now.

"That's just the problem," I decided to step away from my position by the door
and approach Steve, "You've been dumped."  He visibly flinched at that
remark.

"What does it matter to you!?"  Steve shouted back.  By now I knew the
people in the other rooms near us must have been able to make out every
word of our 'conversation'.

"What?" I yelled back in reply, "You're my friend, that's what!"

"Yeah well where were you when I got the news?  Kissing the asses of your
precious new celebrity friends!"  Steve broke into angry sobs.

I faltered in responding, slightly thrown by Steve's sudden change of
emotional direction.

"What?" I asked again in a more quiet voice.

"You heard"

"You blame this on me because I wasn't on our bus!" I exclaimed, "That
makes no sense!"

We stared at each other for a minute before Steve broke the stalemate.

"It is pretty ropey" Steve tried to joke, but his tears drowned any humour in his
voice.  Looking physically and mentally exhausted he turned to go back into
the bathroom.  "I hate it when you're right" Steve said, "It's just that fucking
bastard that really pissed me off!".

"Come here" I said in a very cheesy voice and walking over to intercept him
en route.  Steve finally let his emotions out as I pulled him into an embrace.

"I can't believe he broke up with me," Steve sobbed into my shoulder, "I
thought we were managing the distance thing fine."

With that as his final comment the full wave of emotion seemed to flow over
Steve.  His body became physically weaker and his sobs more violent.  As
Steve's tears soaked through my shirt I silently vowed never to cause this to
happen to anyone.

Steve and I stayed in and went through the 'break-up ceremony' including the
burning of Paul's photograph.  But the emotions took their toll and by midnight
we had both crawled into our beds.

"Hello"

"Hey Lance, it's Darren." I said into the phone.  I was late morning and I
fancied lunch before heading over to the venue for the night's concert.

"Hey" Lance replied recognising my voice.

"Wotcha doing for lunch?" I asked.

"Well nothing much really.  JC's already at the venue, Joey's hanging with
Chris and Justin's on the phone to Britney discussing wedding arrangements.
Why?"

"I were just wondering if you'd fancy grabbing a quick bite that's all"

"Darren..." Lance began, jumping to the wrong conclusion.

"Oh god no!" I laughed, "Steve's broken up with his boyfriend and we're both
just about to go downstairs for lunch and we wondered if any of you guys
wanted in too.  It's a little too much for me to manage on my own."

"Well I'm hungry so I'll be ready in five."

"Yeah sure.  See you"

Ten minutes later Lance and exited his room and joined up with Steve and I
after keeping us waiting for five extra minute.

"Steve, this is Lance Bass and Lance, this is Steven Clark." I said making the
introductions.  Lance and Steve murmured politeness comments.

"Sorry I was a bit slow, we are supposed to go over to the stadium in half an
hour" Lance said as we waited for the arrival of the lift.

"Oh," I said, "Why are you with us then?"

"Like I said, I'm hungry.  Besides Justin and Britney are on a hotel line and
can't put off making these arrangements any longer.  We both hoped we
could get a lift with you."  Lance explained.

Lunch was a pretty amicable affair.  Steve and Lance chatted the entire meal
away, Steve managing to put Paul to the back of his mind for a while and
Lance seemed to forget about the troubles he and Chris were having.  In fact
the two of them got on like a house on fire and made me feel a bit like the
proverbial 'third wheel'.

'Knock, knock'

"That'll be Justin" Lance said as he leapt up to open the door.  The three of us
had just got back upstairs to Lance's room and called Justin to let him know
we were back.

"Hi" Justin said as he entered the room, "You must be Steve" he added spying
the unfamiliar face.

"What has Darren been saying about me now?" Steve asked humorously.

"Well it was all good" Justin said "and all triple-X," he added laughing.

"What ever he told you, it's all true," Steve replied smiling.

We exited Lance's room and all headed down to the car waiting for us at
reception.

"Hey" Justin exclaimed after we were all in the car, "You haven't seen my rock
yet"

"I thought you and Britney weren't having rings?" I asked

"Ooo..." Steve inhaled sharply, "You're marrying Britney!"

"Yes, and yes" Justin answered both Steve and I.  "We aren't supposed to
wear them," he wiggled his ring-finger to illustrate the point, "But Britney said I
could wear mine on a chain in public" Justin pulled a fine silver chain from
under his top.  Hanging on it was a thick silver band capped with a diamond
the size of a small principality.

"My god!" came mine and Steve's reactions.

"That thing's huge!" I said.

"Yeap" Justin said proudly.

"Britney bought you that?" Steve asked.

"No" Justin replied, his eyes dropping to the ring, "I did, because she couldn't
get here to give it to me."  He unclipped the chain from his neck and removed
the ring from it.

"I though you couldn't wear it in public" I asked seeing Justin push it onto his
finger.

"Well, no-one'll see it"

The rest of the journey passed in a comfortable silence.  Lance and Steve
shared a double seat leaving the other to Justin and I.  When we arrived at
the stadium it was pandemonium backstage, technicians were running
everywhere, in the direction of the arena I could hear the sound-levels being
tested, and there were suits swarming around.

Justin and Lance barely had time to say goodbye before being mobbed by a
particularly angry group of the besuited executives.

I headed off to find Stacie, my manager who had scheduled a quick meeting
to go over some promo stuff that was going to happen in the next week.  After
that was a quick run through with Seb, if we could find somewhere to
rehearse following that a quick sound check and then vocals, hair, makeup
and finally wardrobe.  When I did eventually find her she just about came
running over in excitement waving a newspaper in my face.

"Have you read the local tabloid?" Stacie asked excitedly.

"Should I have?" I replied.

"Take a look at page four" Stacie said handing me the paper.  I flipped to the
correct page and there was a less than flattering picture of me being followed
by Justin as we pushed our way through the crowds that had greeted the bus
yesterday.  "You're the main photo!"

"I think they were more interested in the people following me" I explained with
a touch of sarcasm.

"No, no, no" Stacie thoroughly disagreed with me, "read this part" she said
indicating a side-article in it's own little box.

"'Gay popstar to play to thousands of children'" I read aloud, frowning at the
choice of description.  "'When global pop sensations N'Sync announced they
were to play a concert in Denver on their current tour I was looking forwards
to taking my little girl along but when they revealed they were to be
accompanied by a homosexual man I felt that it would be inappropriate to take
my young daughter.  In fact I believe that in allowing this man to promote his
'lifestyle' in their name the members of N'Sync have turned their back upon
their audience...'"  I stopped reading there and looked at Stacie.  "You're
excited about this?" I exclaimed attempting to manage the feeling of disgust
that had developed in my stomach.

"Any publicity is good publicity" Stacie quoted, "Besides this women is in a
minority.  The venue's sold-out!"

"Whatever" I said in an off-hand way, trying to get the subject changed.  "What
am I doing tomorrow?"

"It's another publicity day for you" Stacie replied as she turned to pick up a
sheaf of papers which I assumed to have the details.  "You've got three
magazine interviews in the morning, and a quick photo shoot.  Quite an easy
day all-in-all"

"What's after all that?" I asked, flipping through the papers.  Nothing caught
my eye so I turned my full attention back to Stacie.

"Well, as you know the tour leaves tonight.  The guys have the morning off
and in the afternoon you all have a TV appearance together.  It's the usual
questions and performance so nothing to get worried about.  Then all of you
fly to the next city."  My entire attitude dropped ten points, I hated TV
interviews, I always get nervous in front of a camera, but not in front of several
thousand people who don't really want to see me.

I paid little attention to what Stacie said; my mind was still working around the
newspaper article.  I made a sound to indicate my reluctant agreement to the
planned schedule before storming off to find Seb; I wasn't in the mood for his
style of slave-driving he fondly refers to as 'dancing'.

A couple of hours later I was still waiting for the guys to clear the stage so that
I could get a sound-check in.  It was always like this, because N'Sync were
the main act the openers like me had to wait until they had perfected
everything, even if that means we get less than 10 minutes to check
everything for our set.  I had just finished my vocal warm-ups and had moved
on to my stretching exercises.  Just as I began my stretched, the guys
stopped their check and all headed over to where their choreographer had
just been joined by the person I recognised as the tour promoter.  At the same
time as realising who this guy was I saw that he was carrying a copy of the
paper I had read earlier.  Needless to say my stomach flipped.

>From where I was standing in the wings I was unable to figure out what the
conversation was about, but I was in no doubt about how it ended.  Chris
grabbed the paper and jabbed his finger at an article in it and simultaneously
shouted:

"Look, it's already happenin'!"  Justin grabbed the paper from him.

"Are you suggesting we fire him?" JC asked in a tone that was only slightly
less angry than Chris's.  I began to chew my bottom lip in response to the
mounting tension I was observing and at the same time being drawn into.

"We can't get rid of a friend just 'cause we get one bad article!" Lance
exclaimed.  I stopped pretending to do my exercises in order to watch the
guys' 'discussion'.

"He isn't a friend of mine!" Chris responded.  At that moment Joey, who was
standing in the group so that he was facing me, decided to lift his gaze from
his feet.  Our eyes meet and our gazes locked.  His eyes betrayed his
emotions, pouring guilt, anger, and sadness in my direction.

"I want a vote," Chris stated more calmly.

"What!"  Justin said in shock, "You expect us to sit down and discuss your
bigotry and hatred for Darren!"

"Justin..."  JC said trying to placate him, "Chris has a point.  We need to
discuss this in order to stop this issue causing more problems for us."  Whilst
JC was saying this Justin noticed that Joey's attention was directed at
something else.  Justin's eyes followed Joey's and ended up looking straight
into mine.  At the moment that our gazes meet, the arguing taking place
between us was silenced.  The only things in my world were Justin's eyes and
even at that distance they caused me to inhale strongly.  We must have only
been like that for a couple of seconds but suddenly Justin's eyes welded up
and he stormed off in the opposite direction.  My first instinct was to go after
him but I only took two steps before the rest of the guys flicked their heads
around in shock in order to see what had caused Justin's tearful departure.
They all noticed that Joey was still looking in my direction.  I could tell Joey
was trying to gauge my reaction to Justin's leaving, and just as Justin had
done they all followed the direction of Joey's line of sight to end up staring at
me.

JC immediately looked away, Chris huffed and stormed off in another
direction soon to be followed by Joey.  This left Lance looking at me.  He, as
Joey had been, was gauging my emotional response, but before he could
begin to walk over I turned on my heels and dashed back into the wings and
made my way back to my dressing room.

I wandered through the backstage corridors on my way back to my room
weighing up my options.  It was very clear that I had to make a choice
between remaining on the tour, which would do my career a world of good, or
whether to leave it and hope the damage done to N'Sync was not fatal.

I reached the door to my dressing room and pushed it open.  The fact that
someone was sitting my chair puzzled me for a second until I recognised the
intruder to be Justin.

"Hey, what's all this?"  Justin asked; waving the papers Stacie had given me
earlier in the air.

"It's my schedule for tomorrow" I replied as I manoeuvred myself around
Justin to sit in the seat opposite him.

"You're doing an interview with the 'Gay Times'?" Justin asked in a slightly
rhetorical manner.

"I am?" I asked; I never got a chance to actually read the things during the
afternoon.

"Yep, right here, after the interview with the local rag" Justin pointed to a small
box among many on the page that represented my day.

"Not 'the' local rag I hope" I thought out-loud.

"No..." Justin said thoughtfully as his eyes glanced up to meet mine.  "We
weren't sure if you'd read the piece in there yet.  I think I know the answer
now" Justin added in a solemn tone of voice.  I smiled, in part to acknowledge
his obvious thoughtfulness and in part to try and put him at ease.

"JC's right you know.  You guys need a very long discussion about me
remaining on this tour" I replied.

"Look, we're not gonna kick you off the tour" Justin said, "Chris doesn't have a
leg to stand on."  I simply looked at Justin with my 'I don't believe you' eyes.

"It doesn't matter, you all need to talk.  There's too much tension in the air."
We both sat in silence with our own thoughts for a few seconds before Justin
spoke up.

"D'ya wanna stay on the tour?"

"Of course I want to" I said, "But if I need to go for your sakes I will"

"It won't come to that," Justin said with forcefulness biting into his tone.  "None
of us will let Chris get his way"

"Well, the sooner you lot sort it out the better is all I can say" I said causing
Justin to roll his eyes.

"I'm not lookin' forward to that." Justin said with a notable amount of
despondency in his voice.

"Well I'm guessing that it's gonna happen tomorrow before the TV thing" I
commented.

"No it's not" Justin replied quickly, and in seeing that I was about to repeat my
'it must happen' speech he added "I know it's gotta happen soon n'all, but I
want to give people time to think over everything and not just to argue about
the past day or whatever."

"I'm not sure you've got a choice Justin"

"I have, because I ain't available tomorrow mornin'" Justin replied.

"Have you got a personal interview then?" I asked.

"No, I'm goin' wit you" Justin waved my schedule in the air again.

"Can you do that?" I said as my face contorted itself in puzzlement.

"I can do whatever I want" Justin answered in feigned arrogance, "I'm the
most popular guy in the world!"  I couldn't help but smile.

"Not back in the UK you're not.  Over there everyone only knows you as 'that
guy who's dating Britney'!" I laughed as Justin's face fell.  I choose that time to
make my exit.

"Hey!" Justin yelled as I walked through the door, "they know my face tho'
don't they."  I paused in my tracks to think for a second.

"Not really, no"  I glanced back to see Justin slump back onto his seat in a
way which was only half faked.

Smiling gently to myself I made my way back to the stage area to continue my
preparations for the concert.

Chapter Nine

My alarm woke me suddenly from a dreamless sleep causing me to sit bolt-
upright in bed.  My arm flailed around for a couple of seconds before
managing to hit the clock and stop the klaxon of an alarm.  Steve mumbled
something before turning over and beginning to snore again.  Forcing my
eyes open I half stood, half fell out of the bed and made my way into the
bathroom to attempt to wake myself up.

Twenty minutes later there was a knock on the bedroom door.  I crossed the
room, grabbing my phone, wallet, and bag on the way and answered the door.

"Mornin'" I said seeing that it was Justin.

"Hi" he replied in an un-naturally chirpy tone for that hour of the morning as I
exited the hotel room.

We boarded the lift in silence.  Justin watched with mild bemusement as I
attempted to stuff all my belongings into my day-bag.

"Why've you got a purse?" Justin asked just managing to suppress a laugh.

"It's not a 'purse'" I said, "Nor is it a handbag, it's just for all the stuff I have to
carry around"  Justin simply made a quiet noise.

We walked quickly through the hotel lobby, trying to avoid the lingering
N'Sync fans that were still around.  Luckily my car was already waiting for us.

"Your PR not comin' along?" Justin asked as he slipped into the back of the
car next to me.

"Nope.  She's going to meet me, err... us at the interview spot."  I answered.
Justin nodded and turned to look out the car window.  At that moment my
mobile started to ring.

"Hello?" I said answering its incessant ringing.

"Bonjour Darren, c'est votre mere*" a voice replied.

[* English translation included in footnotes]

"Maman!  Je sais que c'est toi.  Pourquoi tu me téléphones à ce moment?  Il
doit être très tardif en jour là-bas."  Justin's head whirled around to look at me.
"Attendez un moment" I said into the phone before placing my hand over the
mouthpiece.

"You speak French?" Justin asked rhetorically.

"Well where d'you think I got 'Gallouédec'?" I asked in reply, returning to my
phone-conversation.  "Maman?"

"Oui, je suis ici, où es-tu?"

"Je suis en route à une entrevue pour un magasin.  Je suis à Denver."

"Avez-vous le temps pour parler Darren?"

"Non, je suis desolé.  Nous sommes presque là...  Je sais, je te
appellerai ce soir, à environ le midi votre temps."

"C'est très bien, je te parlera alors."

"Au revoir"

"Au revoir Darren"  With that I flipped my phone closed and turned to face
Justin's questioning.

"What was all that about!" Justin exclaimed.

"It was my mum" I replied causing Justin to snigger loudly.  "Hey!  Don't even
try and pretend you're not on the phone to your mum every other minute!" I
said laughing.

"You never said you were fluent in French!" Justin exclaimed as we adjusted
ourselves so that we were facing each other properly.

"I used to spend my summers in France,"  I repeated myself from the other
day, "You kinda need to speak some to survive.  But I'm not fluent."

"Sound's pretty good to me." Justin replied locking on to my eyes in his now
trademark fashion.

"Thank you" I said as my cheeks flushed partly from embarrassment, but
mainly because Justin's stares always make me feel emotionally naked, a
feeling which I'm not too comfortable with.  My usual mechanism for dealing
with this situation is to put up a series of fake emotions in order that I feel less
vulnerable, but something stops always stopped me with Justin.

"French is so romantic..." Justin thought out loud, his eyes peeling back
another layer of my emotions.  We had both unconsciously turned our entire
bodies to face one another.  Justin's left arm hung in the air above my right
arm which was resting on the seat back.  We looked into each other's eyes for
a few more seconds before I noticed Justin's hand pushing a bit of my hair
back behind my ear.  I would have quite happily sat like that for the rest of the
journey but the diamond on Justin's engagement ring caught the light and
sparkled in a particularly malicious way.  I almost wished it still resided on its
chain.  I twisted away and took up my former position staring out the window.
I watched Justin's reflection in the glass as he too turned away, although
more slowly.

The rest of the journey passed in an uneasy silence; we both knew what the
other was thinking but we didn't want to face up to what had happened
between us.

'What were you thinking!' my mind raged at me.  'He's engaged to be married
and you nearly let your emotions take over again!'  I blinked hard trying to
organise my thoughts.

'It doesn't matter' I argued back, 'nothing happened.  Just carry on as normal'
I tried to rationalise my situation and hoped my 'stiff upper-lip' would hide my
feelings for the time being.

End of Chapter Nine

Translation of phone conversation:

"Morning Darren, it's your mother"
"Mum!  I know it's you.  Why are you phoning me now?  It's got to be very late
over there."  Justin's head whirled around to look at me.  "Hang on a second" I
said into the phone before placing my hand over the mouthpiece.
"You speak French?" Justin asked rhetorically.
"Well where d'you think I got 'Gallouédec'?" I asked in reply, returning to my
phone-conversation.  "Mum?"
"Yes, I'm here.  Where are you?"
"I'm going to an interview with a magazine.  I'm in Denver."
"Do you have time to talk Darren?"
"No, sorry.  We're almost there...  I know, I'll call you this evening, about
midday your time."
"That's OK, I'll speak to you then."
"Bye"
"Bye Darren"

NB: I apologise to any people who speak French for my massacring the
language.

As I always say, I love feedback, please email me.

JJ