Date: Sat, 26 May 2001 11:56:01 -0700 (PDT)
From: Really Bigdreamer <reallybigdreamer@yahoo.com>
Subject: Searching for Lost Souls Chapter 4

Hey everyone, you know what I'm about to say: don't
read this if you're underage, if M/M stuff is
offensive to you, or this is illegal wherever you are.
Plus, I don't know NSync in any way and this is not
meant to imply anything about any of their
sexualities.

Write me with comments at reallybigdreamer@yahoo.com

Chapter 4: Aftershock

	JC and Justin sat around the table in JC's kitchen
awkwardly taking glances at one another as they
talked.
	"Alright," JC said, "we agree that we can't ignore
the fact we have feelings for each other...more than
just friendly feelings that is..."
	"What do you wanna do about it?" Justin asked as he
looked at the table and away from JC, he felt ashamed
for acting on his lust and for being untrue to
Britney.
	"Well," JC said as he took a quick glimpse at Justin,
still not looking at him, "we have a couple of
options. One, we can try to ignore it again, though it
didn't work the first time. Two, we can talk about it
openly, but try not to act on it. Or..."
	Justin tried to read JC's mind, something that he had
become somewhat good at since they had known each
other for so long.
	"Or?" Justin asked as he truly looked at JC for the
first time since their...exercise.
	"Or..." JC had trouble saying what he was thinking, "or
we can keep on going and see how it works out..."
	Fear overtook JC's body as he said it, how would
Justin react? Would he be offended? That was the last
thing that JC ever wanted.
	"Um, well, I..." Justin had trouble contemplating what
JC was saying.
	"I'm sorry, Justin, I shouldn't have..." JC stood up
and turned around, "...I know that you must be offended
so..."
	JC was interrupted as he was spun around and Justin
kissed him more passionately than had ever kissed in
either of their previous, forbidden escapades.
Justin's tongue snaked its way into JC's mouth and
massaged the inside of JC's mouth. JC closed his eyes
and was overtaken by several emotions, each one
flooding his mind with different thoughts:
	Apprehension: `What if someone finds out?'
	Tenderness: `I wish this would never end...'
	Fear: `The press would butcher us...'
	Lust: `I want more of him...'
	Anxiety: `I should pull away and stop this before it
gets out of hand...'
	Affection: `His mouth is so soft, so delicate...'
	Guilt: `Justin is my best friend...I can't do this...'
	Love: `Justin can be more than my best friend, we can
make this work out...'
	After nearly a minute Justin stopped and pulled away,
looking into JC's eyes. He knew that JC was thinking
it over and trusted JC more than Justin trusted
himself. Justin knew that JC would choose not only
what was best for the band, but what was best for the
two of them as well.
	"JC?" Justin asked worriedly after moment of silence.
He felt as though JC was mad at him for being so bold.
	JC answered by leaning in and slowly parting Justin's
lips with his tongue. He kneaded Justin's tongue with
his own and sucked on his lower lip. This kiss was
much shorter, but no less passionate.
	"I think we should try this..." JC whispered into
Justin's ear.
	Tears welled up in Justin's eyes, maybe from love,
maybe from shock, or maybe from the fear of what might
happen. What would happen if the press found out? Or,
even worse, what if it didn't work and the band
suffered the consequences?
	Justin pushed them from his mind as he looked at JC's
flawless complexion and placed his hand on his chest,
tracing his finger down JC's torso.
	"I think...I know that whatever you say is what's best
for us..." Justin said as he dropped his hand from JC's
chest to his hand.
	"Good," JC said with a warm smile.
	"Well," Justin said as JC pulled the two closer
together, "I gotta get back home so I can pack my
stuff, our flight to Pennsylvania is only two hours
away."
	"You're right," JC said as he glanced at his watch,
"I need to pack too. So...I guess, we'll be talking more
about this later?"
	"Of course," Justin said as he began to walk away,
"we need to figure if, when, and how we're gonna tell
the rest of the guys."
	"Oh, yeah..." JC said to himself as Justin blew him a
kiss and walked out the door.

	Justin and JC had seats next to each other on the
plane, Lance and Chris were sitting next to each other
across the aisle, and Joey was flying to Hershey,
Pennsylvania (the city on the tour) from Los Angeles.
Almost immediately after takeoff it seemed that Chris
was asleep, though Lance was reading a book.
	JC looked at Justin, who peered out the window. He
slowly slipped his hand next to Justin's without
anyone noticing, Justin looked at him with dismay, as
if they were doing something drastically wrong. And,
in a way, they were. If anyone caught them then it
could blow up into a tabloid firestorm.
	"Is there anything I can get you?" the stewardess and
asked JC as she walked up to him.
	JC was startled and jumped a little and he quickly
pulled his hand from Justin's.
	"Um...no..." JC replied worriedly.
	 She smiled again and walked away as Lance looked on
confusedly.
	"Justin," JC whispered, "what are you gonna do about
Britney? We can't do this behind her back, it wouldn't
be fair."
	JC tried to get Justin to end their secret love
escapade before it ever began, not wanting it to get
out of hand or for anyone to find out.
	"Don't worry," Justin said, "we talk on the phone and
through e-mail, she'll never even suspect it. We're
just experimenting, trying something new, what's so
wrong about that? Besides, if I dump Britney the press
will swarm me, her, and the tour trying to find out
everything. If they think we're still together then
they'll leave us alone..."
	JC stared at the ceiling of the plane nervously...were
they doing the right thing?

That's it, write me at reallybigdreamer@yahoo.com with
comments, suggestions, or questions...hell just write
me for any reason.