Date: Fri, 27 Sep 2002 17:55:04 -0400 (EDT)
From: Kai Wailbone <wailbone@excite.com>
Subject: Second Toughest in the Infants - Chapter Twelve-C

SECOND TOUGHEST IN THE INFANTS
by Kai Wailbone

Author's note: I seriously wasn't sure if I wanted to include these
parts of chapter twelve, but after chopping up and re-editing the
previous two sections, section three seemed the only logical
recourse.
     Now, so you know, because I know the last chapter may have
been confusing - these snippets are taking place in staggered time
frame. Not chronologically. This particular section takes place
around the beginning of the last third of Chapter 12-A.




For Elizabeth, if you ever should grace my stories with your
presence of mind...


DISCLAIMER FOR CHAPTER TWELVE-C

     This is a work of fiction. The characters are fictional,
though their names and descriptions are similar to real people.
These real people are depicted with character traits, past
histories, and sexualities that ARE NOT MEANT TO IMPLY ANYTHING
about their real-life counterparts.

     Do not take this story seriously. Please.

     The title is from the Underworld album "Second Toughest in the
Infants." The chapter headings are from lyrics and song names.



Second Toughest in the Infants
Chapter Twelve - Resonator (Part 3.3)

___________________________________

"I know the pieces fit
cause I watched them fall away..."
     - Tool, "Schism"
___________________________________


"Are you okay?"
     Jacob looked up, startled. "Huh?"
     "You look a bit down." Dan, seated at the edge of the bed,
tried smiling. "You okay?"
     "Yeah... yeah, fine."
     Dan watched as Jacob slowly moved across the room looking for
a clean shirt. He looked over at Dan and their gaze met for a
moment. Dan smiled, and Jacob smiled shyly back before looking
away. His eyes seemed unnaturally bright, and as he blushed he
looked almost impish.
     Suddenly Dan could see why Ashley would like Jacob. Why any
guy - or girl - would like Jacob. His eyes were amazingly blue, his
skin so soft, and in spite of the goatee and dreads sticking in
every direction, his face was so very... cute.
     "What do you think?"
     Dan was startled by the sound of Jacob's voice. Looking up, he
saw Jacob holding a simple gray t-shirt in front of him.
     "Looks great," Dan said. As Jacob turned away, Dan watched as
Jacob's back and shoulder muscles tensed under his pale, smooth
skin, how the bumps of his back bone trailed down to the waistband
of his boxers... 'I've been in those boxers,' he thought, and a
shiver of arousal passed through his body.
     "You know," Dan said, "you have a great body."
     Jacob turned a half-amused, half-bewildered glance at Dan.
"You're still drunk, aren't you?"
     "I..." Dan paused. He'd been about to say, 'I haven't been
drunk for a while now,' but that would imply... "Yeah, must be," he
muttered. Standing up, he sighed. "Ready?"
     Jacob nodded, slipping the shirt over his head. "Let's go."
     Dan led the way to the door, holding it opened for Jacob.
     "Dan?"
     Dan pulled the door closed and followed Jacob down the hotel
hallway to the elevators. "Yeah, dude?"
     "What's on your neck?"
     Dan froze, his finger a hair's bredth away from the button.
"What?"
     "Your neck. Didn't you have marks on your neck? Where'd they
come from?"
     "Uh..." Dan pressed the elevator button. "Scratched myself in
the shower."
     "In the shower? You serious?"
     "Yes. It's embarassing. Can we drop it?"
     "But..."
     "Please... Jake... drop it."
     Jacob stared at Dan in silence until the elevator doors
opened. Stepping inside, he and Dan rode down to the lobby in
silence.

*    *    *    *    *

Nick couldn't help crying out, almost a scream, as he climaxed,
semen flying far enough to hit his throat. His leg shivered with
each spasm, and his back arched so far he heard it crack. His hair
was plastered to his forehead and streamed down into his eyes, but
his hands were being held to his sides by Jeremy's strong arms, and
the sheets under him were soaked with sweat.
     Then two tongues were licking him clean, leaving warm trails
of saliva from his naval all the way up his chest, probing and
touching just gently enough to make him flinch in pleasure.
     Soft laughter broke through his euphoria. Opening his eyes, he
frowned at the moving shadows around him.
     "Hey." It was Ben's voice. "You okay?"
     Nick pulled his hands out of Jeremy's grip and stretched.
"Oh... dude..."
     Jeremy laughed softly again. "Yeah, I think he's okay." There
were soft beeps as he fiddled with his cell phone. "Problems being
my sisters tried calling about nine hundred times."
     "So call them back." Ben curled up next to Nick, pulling his
arm around him.
     In the green glow of his cell phone, Jeremy's face creased in
a frown. "And Mike M. called, left a message."
     "Saying what?"
     "Let me check it."
     Nick groaned softly as he pulled Ben's warm body closer. "Do
you need to do that now?"
     Ben lifted his head and grinned at Nick, his eyes sparkling in
the dim light. "Tired Nick?"
     "Tired... a little... sore, I guess..." Nick worked his jaw.
"My throat hurts."
     Ben giggled. "Told ya'," he snickered. "Hey, Jer?"
     Jeremy motioned for Ben to be quiet. "Hello, Mike? Yeah, it's
Jeremy. What's up? ...yes, I know what time it is. You called half
an hour ago... I was busy... no..."
     Ben laid his head against Nick's chest. "So... what do you
think of your first threesome?"
     Nick started laughing a slow, gutteral laugh. "Ooh, yeah." He
lifted his head slightly. "And what the hell is that thing Jeremy
does with his tongue...?"
     "Yeah, nice, huh? And the raised spiral on the condoms?"
     "Oh... yeah, where the hell did you get these?" Nick stretched
his arm out and grabbed the box from the bedside table. "You get
these special or something?"
     "Special? Hah... um... of course. At the drug store."
     Nick studied the box. "Trojan? TROJAN makes these?" Nick
sighed and stretched, tossing the box over the side of the bed.
"Goes to show how much I know."
     "You really should try asking the cute guys behind the
counter," Ben said, but he sounded distracted as he watched Jeremy
talking. "They can be real helpful."
     "Ask the counter people? Dude, I still remember trying to buy
condoms in Dallas. I would buy forty dollars worth of other stuff
I didn't need trying to slip them by unnoticed." Nick grinned at
Ben, but Ben wasn't paying attention.
     "No, no... yes, Mike, I promise... no... Mike, for... for
fuck's sake, Mike, no..."
     Nick and Ben watched as Jeremy protested into the phone,
apparently not getting more than a word or two in edgewise.
     "No... Mike, dammit, you want me to say it? My sister won't
allow it. No drinks, no drugs, and exactly three girls will be in
the house... what? What the fuck... YES, there're going to be gay
guys, what the... oh, fuck you, Mike..."
     Ben pulled away from Nick, sliding to the edge of the bed.
     "They'll be fine... yes, and you can put that down. I'll sign
a fucking legal binding fucking thing if you want. You can hold me
personally responsible." Amazingly, as sharp as Jeremy's voice had
gotten, it was just as soft in volume as it had been when he
started talking. "My sisters and I have been having this party for
the past couple of years, we haven't had any deaths yet. It's just
a holiday party, okay? Nothing could possibly go wrong. Normally
that's just an expression..."
     Nick sat up and leaned towards Ben. "Who's that?" he asked.
     "I'm guessing Mike. Manager for Ashley's band," Ben whispered.
     "Okay... yes, Mike... I've made enough concessions as it
is..."
     "Trouble?" Nick asked.
     Ben shook his head. "Not sure."
     "Mike, listen. If you want to pack the boys into lucite and
packing foam and insist they not be taken out of their original
wrappers, go ahead. Jay said I could do this. Phil said I could do
this. Hell, Alan said I could do this, and Alan's hated me since
the whole Mandy thing. I think the boys need a vacation. I can give
them one, albeit short. I fought for this. I'm not going to fight
you anymore. If anything - ANYTHING AT ALL - goes wrong this
weekend, I hereby give you permission to deal with me as you see
fit. Okay? Satisfied? Great. Good-bye."

*    *    *    *    *

Jacob smiled slightly at the waitress as she walked away.
     "So... nothing?"
     "No, I told you. I can see a pretty girl and know she's
pretty, but... that's as far as it goes." Jacob stared at the dark
coffee in his cup.
     "Think you could ever have sex with one?"
     "DAN..." Jacob lifted his cup to his lips. "This is
useless..."
     "C'mon, I've never... you know... talked to anyone about this
before." Dan looked around. "How about that guy? He's kinda cute."
     "I guess." Jacob didn't even look up.
     "You didn't even look -"
     "DAN," Jacob said sharply. "Can we get this overwith?"
     Dan looked at Jacob cautiously. "Uh... yeah, sure, dude."
     Jacob set his coffee down. "You still sure you want to hear
this?"
     Dan looked down at the table. "Yes," he said softly.
     "Okay." Jacob sighed heavily, his eyes roving the ceiling as
if looking for something. "Here we go... I guess I should start
with, uh... with the beginning."
     Dan coughed softly. "Was... when did it start?"
     "In the beginning." Jacob smiled thinly. "You were there,
somewhere. I didn't know you then... I don't think I could have
told you about it even if I did. But I did try to talk about it to
some people. Brian. Paul knew all about it. Ashley... was nice, I
guess. I don't think he knew what to say. Ikaika... bastard laughed
at me. Never forgave him for that. But... Erik never believed
me..."

*    *    *    **   *

Words, words, and more words. How could anyone speak so many words
at once without stopping?
     Ashley had gone to church when he was younger. He could still
remember the few times he actually tried listening to the preacher
talking, always managing to pay attention for two, maybe three
minutes before finding something else much more interesting on the
floor or the church bulletin. As he grew he always wondered how any
one person could possibly have that much to say about anything.
     He also thought he'd never be able to listen to anyone talk
that long and pay attention.
     But as soon as Jacob started talking, he couldn't stop
listening, no matter how much he wanted to just get up and leave.
     "I can hate him sometimes..."
     Jacob's voice behind him kept going, mercilessly pounding
nails into Ashley's head, forcing him to think about things...
things he'd been hiding from and ignoring for too long...
     He'd come into the coffee house, grinning at Terry as they
took the booth right beside Dan and Jacob, thinking he'd surprise
them, making it look intentional. He even had it all worked out in
his head, how he would listen to what they had to say, and join in
unexpectedly. It would look good on camera, and Terry, going along
with it, had recorded everything.
     Until Jacob started talking.
     "No matter how much he hurt me, I let him..."
     Ashley sighed as he lowered his head into his hands. He really
didn't want to think about this right now. He just wanted to take
a walk, get some air, clear his head...
     A wetness in his eyes blurred his vision momentarily, and
Ashley took a napkin to his eyes roughly. Reaching for his wallet,
he took out a twenty dollar bill.
     "That, uh... that's for you, too," Ashley said as he stood up.
     "Yeah... thanks." Terry looked up, his hand resting on the
camera he had powered down several minutes ago. "Ashley, I hate to
ask, but did you..."
     "Ter..." Ashley looked down, obviously just on the edge of
tears. "Please, just..." Turning away, he walked out of the coffee
shop.

*    *    *    *    *

Dan felt strangely numb as he watched Jacob break down and start
sobbing. He'd listened, let Jacob go on and ramble, talking about
what he wanted to, never prodding or asking for details or
clarification. He knew it was difficult for Jacob, and it was his
fault that Jacob was in so much pain now, but... he felt nothing.
     "I'm... I'm sorry..."
     "No, no, I understand." Dan smiled, hoping he looked
compassionate and not mocking. Reaching out, he tried to give Jacob
a napkin. "Are you going to be okay?"
     Jacob took the napkin and didn't answer.
     Dan leaned back in his chair and tried not to think about what
Jacob just said. Before all this started, a part of him had wormed
his way into Jacob's trust because he thought, maybe, hearing about
what happened to Jacob would help him with what had happened with
Ashley. But now... now he couldn't even wrap his mind around
everything that had gone on around him. In fact, it was making
things worse, just thinking, maybe, if Jacob was telling the
truth...
     "Jake?"
     Jacob didn't look up.
     "Hey, Jakie..." Getting up, Dan came over to Jacob's side of
the booth. "Jake..." Hesitantly, he pulled Jacob close.
     Instantly Jacob fell into Dan's shoulder. His sobs had died
down, but he held Dan tightly all the same.
     "Shhh..." Dan tried to think of something comforting to say.
"It'll be okay... I... I'm sorry about what he... what happened..."
     Jacob shook his head against Dan's shirt and mumbled something
Dan couldn't understand.
     "Jake? Did you say something?"
     Jacob took a deep breath and pulled back. "Second time today."
     Dan almost laughed. "It's okay, dude, really."
     "No. No, it's not." Jacob rubbed his eyes roughly and glared
at Dan. "There's a reason I told no one to ask about that ever
again. I am not this stupid, whining cry-baby -"
     "Jake," Dan interrupted. "I know. You're normally stronger
than this. And this... I'm sorry I brought it up..."
     "Did it help?"
     Dan sighed. He'd been afraid Jacob would ask that. "I'm not
really sure, Jake, I -"
     Jacob laughed harshly. "You're such an asshole, Dan."
     "What?" Dan stared at Jacob. "What're you..."
     "Oh, please. A 'situation' you need help with?" Jacob snorted.
"Just come out and say it."
     Dan shook his head, confused. "I don't..."
     "You think he made me gay, don't you?" Jacob pulled away from
Dan. "You think he made me gay, and you had sex with me so you
could get me to talk about it, didn't you?"
     Dan hesitated. It was almost too close to the truth... "Jacob,
look, I -"
     "I'm gay, Dan. I was gay before I came into the group. I'll be
gay when I die. Deal with it. Don't come around with these stupid
little games and try to get me to question what I've finally
accepted in my life."
     Anger flared up instantly, and Dan snapped, "Well, at least I
don't break down every time some blond twinkie disses me."
     Jacob looked up, a hurt and shocked expression on his face.
"Unfair, Dan. SUCH a cheap shot..."
     "Yeah, well..." Dan pulled away, reaching for his wallet.
"You're not the only one with problems, you know. If you'd just
stop thinking about yourself for even one second, maybe you'd see
that." Pulling out some money, he threw it on the table and stood
up.
     "Dan...?"
     "Shut the fuck up, Jacob. For what it's worth, I do have a
problem. For what it's worth, I think what you said would probably
help, but I was going to try to help you first. You probably don't
believe that, but that's fine. Handle it yourself." Turning away,
Dan stalked out of the coffee shop.
     As soon as he walked out the door and into the cool night air,
Dan felt better. He still couldn't forget Jacob's story, but it
seemed more managable now that he didn't have to look at Jacob's
face. It seemed more distant, more unreal. As if, if he never had
to see Jacob again, he would be able to forget all about it.
     But that would be almost... irresponsible.
     His anger slowly subsided, but didn't die. After so long with
Cindy, he'd learned there were times when it was okay to be angry,
and he was sure this was one of them.
     Taking a deep breath, Dan stood on the steps for several
minutes until Jacob came out. Neither looked up at each other.
Silently, as if by silent communication, they turned and started
walking down the street together.

*    *    *    *    *

     Terry smiled as the waitress came back with the change.
     "Everything alright, here?"
     "Yes, everything was fine, thank you."
     "Well, alright, you have a good night."
     "You, too."
     Keeping his smile frozen, he waited until she was out of
earshot, then reached for his cell phone, pressing the speed-dial
button automatically.
     "Hello, Mike? It's Terry."
     "Yes, Terry?"
     "You got a minute?"
     "What's wrong, did you get Ashley?"
     "Um... yeah."
     "And he was with Jacob and Dan."
     "Sort of."
     "Did you get it on tape?"
     "That's... kinda what I need to talk to you about."

*    *    *    *    *

Ashley hesitated again, his hand on the door handle. Dan and Jacob
had come back almost twenty minutes ago, far later than he'd
expected, giving him more than enough time to think of what to say.
In fact, he'd had enough time to imagine every single response, and
revise his speec several times. Now, all he had to do was go over,
knock on the door, and say it.
     'Couldn't I just wait until tomorrow?' he thought wildly.
'After all, they don't know I was listening. They may even be mad
at me for being there. But they should know... and oh, God, the
tape...!'
     Finally, Ashley gripped the door handle and swung it opened,
walking resolutely out into the hallway. Two steps to the door next
to his, and then... taking a deep breath, he raised his fist and
knocked loudly twice before he could change his mind.

*    *    *    *    *

Dan stared at the ceiling, unable to sleep. He wasn't sure if it
was the coffee or Jacob's story, but his mind couldn't relax. Too
many images going through his head. Lou and how he was always so
affectionate, so nice. Jacob, so withdrawn and belligerant. The
makeup girls doing their job, never commenting on anything, as if
they were used to things happening like this. And Ashley... Ashley
looking down at him, smiling cruelly, as if he saw something in him
that he didn't even know existed...
     KNOCK... KNOCK...
     Dan jumped, a spike of fear causing his heart to leap in his
chest. He knew they'd gone out without calling in to tell the
camera crews, but it had been late, and he'd been sure no one would
notice. They'd done it before. And gotten into trouble. Looking
over, he saw Jacob still in his bed, facing the wall, motionless,
probably sleeping. Getting up quickly, he padded to the door in his
bare feet and looked through the small peep-hole.
     And saw Ashley standing there.
     Instantly the spike of fear sharpened. Ashley... what was he
doing here? What could he want? And now... so late. What was going
on?
     Dan almost opened the door. Almost. But he couldn't seem to
move his arms. His whole body seemed turned to stone, heavy and
immobile. Anger joined his fear, and as he stared a the door in
front of him, Ashley knocked again.
     - go away. go away, ashley. i hate you so much right now...
     Closing his eyes, Dan found himself shaking, mouthing the
words and almost whispering them.
     "Go away. Please, just go away. I don't need this right now."
     Slowly, feeling as though he was deep underwater, Dan turned
away from the door. A quick glance at Jacob showed that he hadn't
moved. Crawling back into bed, he pulled his covers up over his
head, trying to ignore Ashley as he knocked a third time.
     - go away go away go away go away go away
     After a while the sound of footsteps moving away from the door
signaled Ashley's defeat. As the door of Ashley's room opened, Dan
breathed a bit easier, relieved. Closing his eyes, he tried again
to relax his mind to go to sleep, trying not to imagine what Ashley
could have possibly wanted.
     In the other bed, Jacob stared at the wall, also wide awake.


_____________________________________
This chapter was originally a bit longer, but due to continuity
problems, I chopped it up. This is part three of four of a plot
development I really didn't see until recently. I'm rushing it,
mainly due to my continual moving from one place to another.
Sorry...
- Kai Wailbone   wailbone@excite.com
_____________________________________
Coming soon
Second Toughest in the Infants
Chapter 12-D - Resonator (part 3.4)