Date: Mon, 27 Jan 2003 20:07:08 EST
From: ElktonBoi@aol.com
Subject: Securing Justin's Heart Chapter 3

WARNING!!!!!!!!!

1) If reading this is in any way illegal where you are or at your age, or
you don't want to read about male/male relationships, go away. You
shouldn't be here.

2) I don't know any of the celebrities in this story, and this story in no
way is meant to imply anything about their sexualities, personalities, or
anything else.  This is a work of pure fiction

Recap of Chapter 2

Justin jumped under the covers next to me.  He was facing me now.  "Why are
you so embarrassed?  I am going to see it sooner or later.  Hopefully, sooner
than later, but not tonight.  I want our first time to be special.  He kissed
me on my lips and lay on his back.  I went over and wrapped my arms around
him and laid my head on his chest.

"Goodnight Justin, I love you……"  Oh shit.  I did love Justin, but I didn't
want to rush him.  "Justin, I am sorry."

"Don't be sorry.  I feel so special when you say that.  I know that you mean
it, and I love you also.  I just didn't want to rush you.  It's alright.
Now, lets get some sleep."  Justin turned off the lamp, and placed a kiss on
his chest. We both fell asleep right away.  I have to admit.  It was great
being in bed with the man that you love.  When I woke up the next morning, I
was all alone.  Justin didn't wake me up before he left.  I went to the
Refrigerator to get some juice when I saw the note.  It said that he didn't
want to wake me up, and that we needed to talk when we got back.  I crumpled
the not up and threw it in the hallway.  I was furious!  I had fallen in love
with a man that didn't feel the same way about me.  Hell, it was probably the
alcohol speaking for him.  I knew I would get hurt.  I got ready and headed
to the gym.  It was 10:00, and Justin was supposed to be back by 11.  I
didn't want to see him.



Chapter 3

    I started my workout at the gym with some stretches.  Even though I
wanted to start running, I needed to be careful with myself.  A man is not
worth getting a cramp over.  Because it was only 10, the gym was still pretty
empty.  While working out, a million thoughts were entering my mind about
Justin.  I as trying to forget about what happened, but I couldn't.  I fell
in love with someone that just wanted a cuddle partner or even a good time.
Justin was the first guy I ever fell for, and he ripped my heart out and
crushed it.  After almost 2 hours, I went to the jacuzzi to try and relax.
Nothing would work!  I could not get Justin out of my head.  The only way I
could fix this was to let him know how much he hurt me.  I went headed up to
the room.  I opened the suite door, and there was Justin sitting in a chair
bent over.  As soon as I saw Justin, my heart melted.  I could not talk to
him while he was crying.  I would end up forgiving him, and I would spent the
rest of the two weeks regretting not having confronted him.  I went straight
to the bathroom before Justin could get a chance to react.  While in the
shower, I tried creating a wall around my heart.  I stepped out of the
shower, and wrapped a towel around my waist.  I was looking at my reflection
in the mirror when I finally broke down.  My knees were so weak, and I was
about to fall down.  I went over and sat on the edge of the tub.  A few
minutes later, there was a knock on the door.  I was having a mental
breakdown.  I couldn't move or speak.  All I could do is cry.  After a few
minutes of knocking, Jusitn opened the door.  I always forget to lock the
damn bathroom door.

    "Drew, are you ok?" Justin asked with concern in his voice.  I couldn't
look up at him "Drew, you are shaking.  Please, nod your head if you are ok."
I was still motionless.  I could feel Justin's soft touch on my face.  He
slowly pulled my chin up so that I was looking directly at him.  His eyes
were red.  He must have been crying earlier, but there was no sorrow in his
eyes this time only concern. "Drew, I know you are mad at me right now, but I
need to know if you are okay.  You are scaring me." Justin pulled me closer
to him, and he wrapped his arms around me. "Please baby, snap out of it."
After a few minutes of him holding me, I slowly came around.

    "Justin, I am here." I told him as I buried my head in his neck.  We were
both crying now, but at least I was able to respond.  I pulled back from our
hug, and looked Justin in his eyes. " I am sorry for scaring you, but I was
having some sort of mental breakdown."

    Rubbing my arms Justin said, "Oh, God Drew.  I was so worried about you.
I was about to call an ambulance.  I am so glad you are okay baby."

    Looking into Justin's eyes I said, "Justin, thank you for being here for
me.  Nothing has ever happened to me like that before, and I am glad you were
here to help me.  We do need to talk Justin.  Iam very hurt right now, and I
need to get smoething off of my chest."

    Justin slowly began crying. "I am not sure how I hurt you Drew, but I am
sorry."

    "Justin," I said with a stern tone. "I am not going to talk about this in
here right now.  Iam going to finish getting ready, and then we will talk at
the table in the kitchen.  I suggest you regain your composure before then."
I could see I hurt Justin with those words, but I was not going to give in to
a crying Justin.  I went into my bedroom, and try to find something suitable
to wear.  After deciding on a pair of blue jeans and red abercrombie shirt, I
tried my best to cover up the puffiness around my eyes.  I went to the table
where Justin was already sitting.  His eyes were still read, but he was no
longer crying.  He was just staring at the table as if he was reading a book.
"Justin," he looked up at me, but he was not making eye contact, " We are
going to talk this out like two adults.  I am not trying to be an ass, but I
need to get this out.  I will start talking first, and then you can go.  Is
that alright?"

    "Yes." Justin said with a shaky voice. "I understand."

    I could tell he was trying to hold in his sobs, but he was going to have
to maintain his composure if I was planning on getting this over with. "I
wanted to start off with saying that I am not mad at you right now.  I was at
first, but now I am more angry with myself.  I came here for a job.  The only
intention I had was to come and watch out for you, but we bacame friends and
much more.  Since I moved up here, I had a hard time meeting friends.  You
were the first real friend I had, and I should have let it stay at that.  I
fell in love wth someone that wasn't alowwed to fall in love with me.  You
have a stereotype that you must follow.  You have to be the single pop star
that every girl wants to marry someday.  You might have felt something for me
last night, but you backed out of it this morning with that note.  I gave you
my heart Justin, and you played with it.  I want us to continue or
professional relationship, but I never want anything more than that again.
You promised me you wouldn't hurt me, and you did.   I will act like your
friend when I need to, but I will never be your true friend.  I was just
someone to keep you buisy for 2 weeks.  Now, you can go ahead and say what
you have to say."  When I looked at Justin, I saw tears in his eyes again.  I
know what I said had tobe painful, but at least I got it off of my chest.

    I had had my hand on the table, and Justin reached over and held it.  I
tried to pull away, but Justin just said, "Please, just wait."  I don't know
why, but I kept my hand intertwined with his. "Drew, this morning before I
left I was having doubts in my head about what we had and if it would ever
work out.  I wrote that note this morning just to let you know that I wanted
to talk about us.  It was not a negative not.  I did mean everything I said
last night.  I love you , and I will never hurt you intentionally.  What
happened today was a big misunderstanding.  You read the note, and you
overreacted.  You thought about the worst possible scenario, and you put it
in your head that I was doing that to you.  I want us to work Drew.  You mean
so much to me, and I can't imagine anyone else I would rather be with.  I am
afraid that I will hurt you though.  I am not out, and I doubt I will ever be
able to be out.  I have a image to maintain to sell my records.  I will
always have to make the public believe that Iam dating some girl.  I don't
want to pull you into that situation.  I could never hold your hand while we
are at the mall.  I could never kiss you while at the beach.  Whatever we do
would have to stay behind closed doors.  I would like to try a relationship
with you, but those would be the conditions.  What do you think?"

    I was in complete shock.  Justin was completely right.   I did overreact
about the note, and I took everything out on him.  Instead of waiting and
trying to work things out, I came in yelling.  All Justin wanted to talk
about was where our relationship would go.  I made him cry. "Justin," I said
squeezing his hand. " I do love you, and you mean the world to me.  I did
overreact, and I am sorry for hurting you.  I have never felt this way about
a guy or a girl, and I want this to last.  I could deal with keeping things
private between us only if you still want to try."

Justin now had a smile on his face, and he was looking deep into my eyes. "
Good.  I am glad we can over this together, but I can't take another fight
like we had today.  It was to much for me to handle.  You have to promise me
that you are not going to run again.  We need to settle our problems as soon
as they come up.  If you promise me that, I would love nothing more than to
be with you."

"Justin, I am sorry for hurting you today, and I promise to come talk to you
next time.  Does that mean I can call you my boyfriend?"

"Drew you can call me anything you want to!  I am yours and nobody else's."

Justin and I both got up an met each other in a hug.  I never wanted to let
go of the man that I loved.

Author's Note: Sorry the story is so short, but I had a very busy weekend.
There will be another chapter coming tomorrow.  It is going to be very
interesting, so please keep reading.  Here's a hint.  Someone very important
catches Justin and Drew in the act to Drew.  It could change things for
Justin and Drew.  Also, I am looking for an editor.  So if you are
interested, please e-mail me.  My instant messenger name is Elktonboi.  So
feel free to IM me also.  Thanks for reading.



Please tell me how you liked my story.  If you have questions, comments or
suggestions.  E-mail me Elktonboi@aol.com.  Even if you just liked the story,
drop me an e-mail.  This is my first attempt at a story on Nifty.  I need
some assurance.  Thanks everyone!