Date: Sun, 9 Nov 2003 12:34:05 +0000 (GMT)
From: Jezebel <eh_oh_po@yahoo.com>
Subject: Set Adrift - Second Chances 10

Title: Set Adrift - Second Chances
Author: Jezebel the Temptress
Feedback: eh_oh_po@yahoo.com

Disclaimers: This is fiction.  Ben and Sully are figments of my imagination
and The Backstreet Boys are strangers to me and not gay.  This has not
truth to it.  This is for adults only, that's over 18 or 21, depending on
your country.

				    ***

Alex wasn't quite sure how Sully moving in with him in Orlando had turned
into the two of them taking a trip to New York but his lover insisted that
it was necessary.  There were still a few loose ends that Sully needed to
deal with and he couldn't do them over the phone.  So, instead of enjoying
their time off Alex was sifting through Kitchen items and packaging them up
so that they could either be sent to storage or packed into the boxes that
were to be shipped to Orlando.

While Alex was in the relative safety of the Kitchen, Sully was in the
bedroom dealing with some of his more personal effects.  It was amazing to
think that this had only been his home for a few years considering the
amount of things that he had amassed there.  The point was that he had
built an entirely new life with Drew and now he felt as if it was that life
that he was stowing in boxes, not just the possessions that went along with
it.

Sully wondered if that meant doing the same with the emotions that he felt
for Drew.  Maybe it was time to store those away along with the photographs
and other memories.  He would never forget his other lover but there was a
new man in his life now and Alex deserved all of his focus.

Sully sighed.  He wasn't quite ready to let go just yet but he knew that
moving in with Alex and relocating to Florida was a bit step and was a part
of his moving on.

There was one other call he needed to make while he was in New York, but
Sully knew that this would be harder than warehousing his property.  He
needed to say the final farewell to Drew that he had not yet said and to
thank him for helping he and Alex get together again.

Sully knew that it would be hard but he had to do it if he wanted to make
the transition back into his old life.  He wondered if Alex would go with
him.  Drew might like to finally meet the man that had always had a place
in Sully's heart.

***

When Sully had first mentioned to Alex that he wanted to go and visit Drew
he thought that his lover must be losing it, then when he realised what
Sully actually meant he had wondered if he could really go back into a
cemetery so soon after his Grandmother's funeral.  It turned out that he
need not have worried.

Drew had been cremated and his ashes interred at a garden of remembrance.
Whereas the place his grandmother was buried was dark and sombre there was
more of an air of hope here, less a place to mourn death and more of a
celebration of life.

For some reason it felt better to look at it that way.

"Drew is over by the Oak tree in the corner." Sully said as he led Alex
through the rows of trees and plants.  "He had a few friends that had their
ashes scattered here and he always liked that spot."

"Did he know?" Alex asked.  "That he was dying."

Sully looked down for a moment.  When he raised his head his eyes were
glimmering with unshed tears.

"Yeah." He said huskily, fighting back the emotion.  "He wanted to make
sure that all of the arrangements were made, right down to who would read
at his funeral and what songs he wanted playing.  He thought that it would
be easier on me."

Sully laughed, or at least tried to, but it came out as more of a sob as
the tears began to fall.

"I don't think that he could ever have made it easier for me.  You would
have thought that knowing in advance gave you time to prepare but it didn't
matter how much notice we had when it came it was still like having a part
of my soul ripped away.  Nothing can prepare you for that."

The tears fell freely now and Alex felt the need to comfort his lover.  He
pulled Sully in to his arms, not caring where they were or who saw them.
In that moment the only thing that mattered was the pair of them.

Sully took comfort in the embrace for a moment before pulling away and
wiping his eyes.  He sniffled a little and then laughed.

"Sorry." He said.  "I shouldn't have broken down on you like that."

"It's okay." Alex replied honestly.  He knew the importance of being able
to grieve properly because he had experienced first hand the problems that
could arise if you sublimated them.

"Drew would have hated me crying over him.  He would have told me to focus
on the time that we did have together rather than on the time that we
couldn't." Sully said, this time he was remembering his former lover with a
smile.

Alex knew that there was a time to grieve and a time to let go, maybe it
was the latter for Sully.

"You still want to go through with this?" Alex asked softly.  "We can
always come back some other time."

"No." Sully said firmly, as if he had just at that moment made up his mind.
"I said that I wanted to say Goodbye and that is what I'm going to do.
Drew wouldn't want me to put my life on hold, he told me as much in that
letter he wrote, and it is about time that I moved on."

With that said Sully took a few more steps and then paused in front of a
small plaque that said in plain letters : "Andrew Fitzpatrick - Beloved
Lover and Friend."

"Hi D." Sully said, as he knelt down next to the plaque and cleared away a
few weeds that had grown around it.  "I wanted to introduce you to someone.
This is Alex - the other Alex.  I thought that maybe it was time for the
two of you to meet."

Alex knelt at Sully's side and took his hand in his own, silently offering
the support he thought his lover needed.

"Alex and I are together now, I suppose you could say we're back together.
I wish that you were here, I think that the pair of you would have liked
each other, but I know that is not possible.  I still love you Drew, I
think that I always will but I need to move on now and be with Alex, I know
that you would have understood.  I came by to say Goodbye, I'm going back
to Florida with Alex and I think it might be a while before I'm here again.
You always said that you would help me write my life story, well, I think
that it's time I finished this chapter and moved on to the next one.  I'll
never forget you..."

Sully's final words were soft, barely audible to Alex who sat right next to
him, he heard Sully's tears more clearly and was surprised when his lover
stood and turned away instead of going to him.  Sully took a few steps
towards the exit and Alex realised that he was supposed to follow.  Sully
had said his goodbyes and was moving on.

"Don't worry." Alex said softly before standing up.  "I'll look after him
for you...for both of us."

The promise made AJ stood up and followed Sully out of the garden and back
to their waiting car.

Maybe this was a day for them both to leave something of the past behind
and move on with their future.

***
To Be Continued.
***

Note: A lot of writers are influenced by what they read.  I always believe
in giving credit where it is due and this chapter was inspired by "Rebound"
by writerboy.  If you have not yet read the story then I highly recommend
it, it may just inspire you to do a little writing of your own.