Date: Wed, 22 Dec 1999 12:06:48 -0500 (EST)
From: bsbkarma@iname.com
Subject: Show Me The Meaning... 6

______________________________________________________
The following story is fictional. All use of celebrities,
characters, and situations are all fictional. This story does not
represent and/or meant to imply to the sexuality of any real persons.
This story contains homoerotic relations between consenting adult
males. You must be of legal age in your state to read this. Thank you
and enjoy.
(** the start of an emphasis, * the end)

All questions, comments, and suggestions are welcome
bsbkarma@iname.com

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http://members.xoom.com/bsbkarma/smtm.html
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______________________________________________________


"Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely"
 Written by Karma

================================================
~ Part 1 ~ "Nights Of Light"
================================================

~ Chapter 6 ~
	The setting sun bestowed a sombering golden glow upon
the landing strips of the Orlando Airport. The Backstreet Boys were
returning from their week in Europe. As unusual there were fans
waiting to greet them. Inside the guys stopped to sign autographs
and pose for a few pictures. Kevin quickly escapes scene stating he
had to catch a flight to Miami. Brian wondered what was the nature
of it's importance. Earlier that week Brian had over heard Kevin
talking about it to someone on the phone. But when he asked about
it, Kevin said it was just business.
	"Is there something wrong? Is it something that we all
should know about?"
	"No, everything fine. It's just something I've been meaning
to take care for a while and I hadn't had the chance until now."
	"You're sure everything is fine?"
	"Yes, Brian. And since when did you start to stress out over
business stuff anyway."
	"Can you blame me after what we went through with Lou?"
	"Believe me cuz there's nothing to worry about."
	
	A young girl's scream from across the room regained
Brian's attention. Without even looking he knew it was for Nick.
Without a doubt, the guy had the most obsessive fans of all the boys.
The screamer and about five of her friends charged for Nick like a
freight train. Brian unusually got a kick out seeing people going
crazy over his friend. It always made about it made him appreciate
the fact that were so close. But, not today he knew Nick been
suffering from a cold and wasn't in mood for the hysteria. Brian
figured he could at least help the guy from getting ran down. Plus
they had on security with them. So Brian did all he do being of
shorter statue than Nick, he jumped in front to adsorb the impact.
	At the same time over at the baggage claim another pair
of friends were getting into a disagreement.
	"Are your telling me your going to doing it?" Howie
dropped one of his bags in shock. "AJ, You can't possibly have any
high expectations about this."
	"I don't--is this Brian's suitcase or mine?" he picks a
expensive navy suitcase looking for a tag. "Why did they pile
all our like this?"
	"It's Brian's, yours is right here and don't change the
subject."
   	AJ sighs long and deep as he runs his fingers through his
bleached hair. "Howie I have thought about this and..." He didn't
know how to explain it himself, so he went for the typical cop out of
"You wouldn't understand, you haven't lived my life."
	"Oh, yeah I forget years of singing and practicality living
together as brothers doesn't count for anything." The mixed sound of
anger and hurt in Howie's voice made AJ regret ever bringing the
subject up.
	"Howie, man I didn't mean it like that. What I meant was
you've grown up with the ideal family. You have a mother and a
father, brothers and sisters. You don't know what's it's like to grow
up without a dad. My mom had to work to support  us, so I was
alone a lot. I had listen to my friends talk about all the stuff they do
with their dad  and all the unnecessary crap he brought them.
Meanwhile I on the other hand hadn't seen mines in so long I
wouldn't recognize him even if he ran right into me."
	"Believe it or not I understand that. And I understand this
because I'm your friend and I care about you.  I'm sorry you had a
hard time growing up, AJ. But, what hat I don't understand is why
would  you want to meet the guy who hasn't cared enough to pick up
the  phone say hello to his child in over six years. Do I need to
remind  you of what happen last time you saw Bob."
	"No, you don't I'm perfectly aware of the possibility of
disappointment. And I'm willing to take the chance. Dude just
support my here please--okay."
	"Fine. I've always been there for you, now isn't any
different."
	"Thank you. Besides you know you can't stay upset for
long, D." AJ grinned, lighting Howie's mood. It was the truth Howie
rarely got or stayed angry for long. However he was very much more
prone to disappointment. Once is all it takes with Howie before he
forgets your existent. Fortunately for the group's sake, the guys have
only witness it and never tested him.
	Brian and Nick runs up to the two. AJ observes  their
heaving, 'What's up wit you two, getting chased again?" Brian
points at Nick and make a scream face. They all--but Nick burst out
laughing.
 	"Yeah real funny guys.  Thanks AJ--Howie, so much for
helping me back there!"
	"Hey I like it when they grab me," said AJ.
	"You would," said the all the other guys. Exiting the
airport, outside Nick notice some was missing.
	"Where's my black bag?" He voice was calm though Brian,
Howie and AJ knew all to well what would happen next if they
didn't find it.
	"Uhh, I don't have it. Howie's carry about forty suitcases,
maybe he's got it. "AJ suggests. Secretly inside AJ started to count
the seconds before Nick were to go off.
	Howie looked at all his luggage, no black bag.
 	Nick turns Brian, his face looking stressed. "Brian?"
	'7, 8, 9...'AJ continue to count. Brian held up what little he
had, no black bag.
	"10!!!" AJ screamed aloud.
	"GOT DAMMIT!!!" Nick throws down everything he's
holding, as a fast and steady stream of four letter words flowed out
of his 19 year old mouth. By now AJ's laughing his ass off  "It's the
return of Kaos!"  Meanwhile Howie had a unsurprise smirk on his
face.
	"Nick you can always buy a new Nintendo." Brian tried to
reason with Nick. Blowing up over little thing was one Nick's
biggest faults. It's troublesome at times but the boys were use to it.
Thankfully he's been out growing of late, and hadn't gone off in a
while, that is until now anyway.
	"But, Rok!" he wined. "My Dreamcast, and nearly half of
my games were in there. Plus, games that haven't been released yet
and my little green code book and my --oh my GOD!" Nick started
frantically started searching his all his bags  hoping against hope
he'll find what he's looking for. 'Please, please God let it be here! Let
me had put it one of these bags!' Tears tears were forming in his
eyes, his heart pounding faster and faster with each passing of no
findings.  The last bag, and as soon as he reach in he felt it. He look
inside,  there it was,  the blue cloth cover book. The holder of all his
thoughts, his dreams, his secrets, **the secret*, his journal. 'Thank
you,  thank you! Jesus. What would I have done if it had gotten into
the wrong  hands?'  he thought to himself. He finally clamed down
and gather his things.
	"Well this has been a joyful moment, but I must be leaving
now, AJ said still laughing. "Later guys." He walked off in search of
his car.
	"I gotta go too," said Howie. "Diva is flying in tomorrow so
I have some plans to make. See-ya guys at rehearsal  Monday." As
Howie walks away he hears Brian call out "Hey D remember, wrap
it up everytime! Ha!" Nick doubles over in laugher.
	"I see you're in a better mood," said Brian.
	"Errr, I still want my stuff  back."
	"How about this, I'll help you find all the games you lost at
the mall tomorrow, in fact I'll buy them for you."
	"No, you don't have to buy me anything, Brian. I was being
stupid...as always." Nick mumbled.
	"Well, I'm doing anyway because I want too.  And you're
not stupid so don't act like it anymore, got it?" Brian said pointing
his finger sternly at Nick. Then he smile that wide infectious smile
of his that Nick couldn't resist.
	"I got it, Mr. Littrell."
	"Good. What would you to us hangin' out at your place
this weekend."
	"Sure we can do that. What do you want to do? "
	"I don't know something fun..." said Brian as they
began to search for his car. "We could lock BJ in the basement,
then tell her that Harold call and watch her try to get out." Brian
joked knowing that Nick's house didn't have a basement. Actually
Brian really got along with Nick's sibling greatly. But sometimes
those kids were pests.
	Nick laughs, "Now that would be fun. Isn't it unfortunate I
don't have one?"
	"Yeah, but if you did, BJ not the one you should lock in
there."
	They looked each at each other, "Aaron."

	Kevin watched the seat belt blinked. He hundredth
time he debated whether or he would get off the plane. 'What am I
so afraid of? Besides possibly making a fool of myself,' he thought.
	A flight attendant came over to him. "Sir, please fasten
your seat belt we're preparing for takeoff." They started to lock the
doors, it was now or never. All of the phone conversions he had with
Ricky over that passing week flashed in his mind. And how he
would change his mind from 'I'm not going' to 'I can't hardy wait!'
after talking to him. Kevin looks at the last unlock door, and decides
to fasten  his seat belt.

	"So what, did he say?" BJ whispered after watching Brian
go into the kitchen. Her and Nick were standing the of hallway.
	"About We were talking about the other day, remember?"
	"Oh that. He says  he's gonna break up with her, as soon as
she gets back from New York, Monday."
	"A day before you all leave for the tour, huh? Don't you
find it ironic that all this is happening right before you guys  have
months to be **together*?"
	"BJ please... nothing going to happen between us."
	"You didn't tell him did you? What about the other day
when you called me? You said you would!" She screamed pulling at
her hair.
	"Ssshh!" Nick quickly covers his sister's mouth. "I said
when I'm ready. And right now I'm not, so lower your voice." He
lets her go.
	"Fine, be alone forever. I don't care." She said trying to put
on a bored expression.
	Nick stood back and folded his arms. "And when has not
caring ever stopped you from interfering?"
	"Ahh that's true..." she sighed. "Oh well I guess all I can
say is...HEY BRIAN GUESS WHAT!" She ran into the kitchen.
	"OH SHIT! BJ I'm going to kill you!" Nick takes off atfer
her. But he slips on the loose floor rug, causeing him
to crash into BJ. Brian was filling the pugs and Tyke's doggie bowls
when he heard the commotion.
	"Get off me dork!" BJ giggled.
	"If you keep your mouth shut I will," said Nick. They
started rolling around like two cats fighting.
 	Brian enters the hall, and sees the two tangle on the floor
wrestling. "What are you two fighting about? Why can't you kids
play nice." Brian said in a very fatherly voice.
	"She started it! I think she's having a PMS attack." said
Nick, who had once again covered his sister's mouth.
	"Frmmm hmmm!" BJ mumbled underhand Nick's hand.
	"Did you just swear at me little girl?"
	BJ knees him and Nick flips over, "Quick Brian help me
Nick pen him down!" Brian jumps in two over power laughing Nick.
All of the nosie from their playful fighting caught the ears of the
dogs, who soon came cheerfully running to join the match.
	"Ahh! It's the attack of the miniature dogs!"  Nick
screamed as they jumped all over them.
	"Oh for get this," BJ said sitting up pulling Houston off her
chest. "I going to bed. Later losers. And don't stay up all night
making to much noise." She ran up stairs to the room she was
staying in.
	"Hey, Nick do you still have the other N64 in your
bedroom?"
	"Yeah, but most of my really good games were in my black
bag. I still have Mario Kart, through I'm sure you're like soooo sick
of me kicking your ass at it." Nick laughed.
	"Are you challenging me, kid?"
	"What did you think short boy?"
 	"Well bring it on blondie!"
	"I'll meet you upstairs I'm just gonna grab some snacks."
Nick made a few sandwiches grabbed some sodas and chips and
headed to his room. Stepping inside the room Nick nearly dropped
everything at the sight before him. Brian half dressed,
wearing a tight white wife beater,and blue mesh shorts.  And his
slender toned frame was laid casually across Nick's bed.

	The Alexander Hotel was a beautiful Caribbean-styled
resort. Kevin down sat on the overstuffed couch, feeling the silk
stareing out at one of the many the large picture widow that the
suite. Even for someone famous like Kevin who has lived a good
part of his life in all kinds of hotels, it was still something to oh and
ah over. When Ricky found out--from Diva big mouth--that Kevin
had to buy at the last minute off a flight ticket from someone at
double price he insisted on paying for Kevin's room and board. At
first Kevin was a little uncomfortable with the ideal. But after his
many talks with Ricky Kevin got the impression that Ricky wasn't
the kind of person that would anything in the exchange of
**something*. Not to say that Kevin wouldn't mind for something
to happen. But he wasn't there with any intent either.
	
	Nick takes his pullover off, and wipes the sweat from his
forehead. Brian was right, it was hot as hell in there. He had
forgotten that the thermometer on the heater was broken, and that
most of the heat stayed trapped upstairs. He apologizes to Brian, and
opens a window.
 	"Don't sweat it, though you really can't help to." He
laughed. They played several games of Mario Kart as they laid side
by side on their stomachs on the king size bed. Nick tried to keep his
eyes on the game but that was proving difficult to do. To be so close
to his secret love was such agonizing pleasure for him. So near, yet
so far away. He couldn't help stealing glances of his friend. For so
long he'd dreamed of having blue eyed angel named Brian just like
this well almost like this. Of course in Nick's dreams they were
wearing only the white bed sheets. Occasionally one would move a
little and their bare feet or arm  would touch, sending the most
electrifying feelings throughout Nick's body. Brian started stiffing
uncomfortably. He yawned and complained of jet lag.
	"Man, I'm tried to play anymore. Is it all right if sleep
here?"
	"Yeah, sure! I mean it's uhmm fine with me." Nick's voice
squeaked, like it always did when he got
excited. "That is if you don't mind sharing the bed with me, since
BJ has the guest bedroom." He said more
calmly.
	Brian at him a confused. "I don't mind, it's not like we
never shared a bed before."
	"I know it's just been a long time. I wasn't sure how you
felt about it."
	"Na it's, okay." Brian says waving off. They crawl in under
the covers. Brian turns off the bedside lamp. Only the moonlight
from open window shines in on the floor at the end of the bed.
	As Nick tries to settles down as much as he could giving
the situation, he hears a giggle coming from Brian's side.
	"What are you giggling about?" Nick turned around to face
Brian. He could barely see his face in the darken room.
	"You're still afraid of the dark," he says with a amused
voice.
	"I am not! You know I'm not."
	"Sure you're not Mr. We Need A Night Light on the tour
bus."
	"You know that light is there so we can see how to get in
and out of the bunks without falling."
	"And you still fell out."
	"One time! And wasn't it you that stepped on AJ's head
once." Nick asks.
	"I will plea the fifth on that." Even in the dim light Nick
could see Brian's smile. The urge to grab and kiss him all over, was
be coming over baring. Nick turns over and closes his eyes. `Come
on Nick think pure, unsexy thoughts. I can get through this, just as
long as I stay on my side and don't touch him. And if he doesn't
bump into my erection from hell in the middle of the night.' He
pulls the covers over his head.
	"Nick?" he faintly hears Brian whispers.
	"Yeah...what?" he said under the muffing covers.
	"I just," There was a slight pause. "Wanted to tell ya good
night before you fell sleep...that's all." The bed shakes a little as
Brian turns over.
	"Oh, okay....Nite nite Brian." said Nick.
	 "Nite nite Nickolas."

TBC...