Date: 17 Aug 99 15:00:45 MDT From: Travis <Travis8888@netscape.net> Subject: Soul-Mates 7 Well here is the long awaited part 7 of Soul-Mates. After receiving various letters from people who described the various ways they would harm me if it wasn't out soon, I rushed this edition. Rushed? You might ask yourself considering the amount of time it's taken. Well yes. To make a long story short, I had to have unexpected surgery and then I went on vacation to recover. I got bronchitis during vacation and am now suffering trough it as I write. I know this all sounds like bullshit, but I swear it's the truth. So I got in yesterday and wrote this today. The only reason I think a lot of you were frantic was because of the particular cliffhanger that was left in Part 6. Talk about a response! It was obvious that Justin has some loyal fans out there who nearly all died at the thought of him being raped. Now I'm not usually the preachy type, well yes I am, but anyway...Rape is wrong. It is illegal. It is mean and cruel in all it's forms. The reason I write this is because some of you tried to negotiate an outcome with me. While I understand that oral rape may physically hurt less than anal rape-neither is acceptable. I was surprised at how many responses felt that, that would be 'Ok'. It's not. The thing that disturbed me the most, however, was that some people wrote that if he wasn't a virgin they would be fine with him being raped and that it wasn't wrong then. Again rape is wrong and a crime whether you are a virgin or not. Whatever the outcome it was or is not going to be described. P.S. I'm an E-mail Junkie....Travis8888@netscape.net Plus I really do listen to fan ideas and suggestions. Finally one last thing and I'll shut up. I started a mailing list on ONElist called gaycelebstories for people to submit short stories and mainly so all authors and fans can type reactions to all the stories on Nifty. For example when Brian hit Justin in JM's story I was dying to write something about it and get responses from other people, but how? Now we can. Just do a search for ONElist-once their do a search for gaycelebstories and subscribe (it's free). When you feel like it E-mail the list. ~JC~ (In Mexico) "Damn it! Where did Justin go? We have to find him!" I hollered as I began to have an uneasy feeling about his disappearance. "Why do you even care? You're the reason he left! Justin loves you with all his heart and soul and you treat him like some worthless trash on the side of the road. He deserves better!" Kevin vented his rage toward me. "I do care about Justin, I love Justin. He's my whole world! You could never understand our relationship, Kevin, and you could never replace it. Were you there when he was twelve and his parents split up? No. I was. I was the one holding and comforting him. How about when he had pneumonia when he was thirteen? He was in the hospital and I'm the one who slept in a chair holding his hand. Not you, not his parents, they were to busy out of town. I'm the only person who he has ever been able to count on, and I will always be there for him." "No I wasn't there all those times. I was just there picking up the pieces when 'the only person he can count on' called him disgusting and broke his heart." "I never meant that, I didn't even know he was gay. I was just trying to keep my being gay a secret. I just couldn't let that take away my Justin from me. Unlike you my interest in Just, isn't for sex or even a relationship. Sure that would have been a dream come true, but as long as he was in my life nothing else mattered. Being friends was enough for me, because I love Justin's soul. He's so much more than a body to me. Now I have to find him! Is anyone going to help me?" "Just leave Justin alone JC. He's a big boy, he can take care of himself. He needs time to cool off and think, after your last attack." Kevin spit out at me. "Something is not right, but if you won't help me fine! I'll get the hotel security to come with me. Lance? Brian? Are you coming?" "JC, give him some time. Why are you acting like this?" Lance commented. "Never mind. I don't need you guys, I've wasted enough time arguing here with all of you." Once I left the hotel room I quickly asked the hotel manager if he could get a couple of security guards to help me find Justin. I'm sure the only reason he complied was because I was a celebrity, but right now it didn't matter. I don't know why I'm so worried. I know he needs me, please god help me find him. ~Nick~ (In Orlando) "Hi. I'm Nick Carter." "Shirley Manson and you already know Butch." Shirley replied with her Scottish accent at full throttle. "Yeah, well, I know his voice anyway. I never expected you to bring Shirley along. I hope this means you're going to help me write some songs?" I batted my eyelashes at Ms. Manson. "Well when Butch told me he was going to be working with you I almost fell out of my chair. I mean it's not exactly the much traveled route for a boy band's singer to convert to something less safe. But I must confess it simply intrigued me. Sort of a metamorphosis, if you will. I wanted to help take you to the dark side." Shirley kidded. "Ha! That's funny! I'll be the Darth Vader of Boy Bands." I busted out laughing. "What makes you think it was a joke?" Shirley coyly responded. ~JC~ As we searched for Justin in the surrounding areas of the hotel I felt something lead me towards this particular back alley. I didn't know why, but I knew that I needed to check there. I rounded up the two security guards and we began to investigate the alley. I saw three guys huddled around a figure on the ground, I couldn't make out a face but then I heard the voice and instinctively knew who it was. "Please, I've never done this, please...NO..." I heard Justin's voice. It became clear in that instance what was happening. As two of the men were holding Justin down, the third man in the middle, with his pants down, was pulling Justin's pants past his knees. He was groping Justin all over as Justin cried and screamed the most sorrowful sound I have ever heard. I saw red, I grabbed the night stick from one of the security guards and beat Justin's assailant over the head with it. As he turned around I recognized him as the punk from the airport and continued to beat him over and over again with the baton. "How do you like it you fucked up pervert! I'll kill you! I'm gonna fucking KILL you." I yelled at the top of my lungs. By now the two security guards had hand cuffed the other two thugs, who had tried to escape. They came over and began pulling me off the one I was beating. "Stop it man you're going to kill him. He unconscious. He's not worth going to jail over, man!" One of the security guards yelled at me. As I regained my senses my thoughts immediately turned to Justin and how he was. I had only heard his voice and saw his legs before. I needed to make sure he was all right. When I looked over at him I fell to my knees in horror. His face was almost unrecognizable. He had been beaten so badly that both his eyes were swollen shut and his face was a deep blue, almost black, and covered in his blood. His pants and underwear were around his ankles, and he was shaking violently. "JUSTIN. No, no, no. Please be all right. Please don't leave me....Call an ambulance!" I screamed as my tears fell and mixed with the blood on Justin's face as I cradled him in my arms. All I could do was pray. God, please, please, please, save Curly. I need him, I...Love him. This was all my fault. I will never forgive myself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I was pacing back and forth outside of the ER. I didn't know what to do. He just had to make it. "Senor Chasez? I'm Dr. Raul Campos. I understand you are waiting upon news of Mr. Timberlake?" "Is he OK? Is he gonna make it?" I frantically questioned. "Well he is in critical condition right now. The head trauma he suffered caused him to have a seizure. He also has extreme swelling of the brain. To be honest we are not sure if he will make it. If he does, there is also a good chance that he won't ever be the same." "What do you mean 'he won't ever be the same'?" "Well with the extent of his head injuries, it is highly possible that he will have brain damage. The extent of which we do not know." "Oh my God No! Please, no." I screamed out. "Have faith Mr. Chasez, although I am a doctor, I believe in miracles. Trust in God he will see both you and Justin through this." "So what now Doctor?" I collected myself. "Now we wait and see, that's all I can offer." After the Doctor left I made my way to a pay phone and called Lance. "Lance here." "Lance it's me. I'm at the hospital, you need to come down here." "Why what happened? Are you all right?" "I'm fine, but it's Justin. He got hurt real bad and he might not make it." I began to cry. "No! No! How could that be true...I'll be right there.. which hospital?" "San Rafael Medical Center...hurry." ~Lance~ "What's going on Lance why are you crying? Who was on the phone?" Brian asked me as he came over and gave me a hug. "It was JC. Justin is in the hospital. I don't know what happened but they think he might die." "What!" Kevin and Brian simultaneously reacted. "Not Justin, god NO! We have to get to him NOW!" Kevin screamed. By Kevin's reaction I guess him and Justin just might have been a little more than friends. No time for that now. What does it matter now? If Justin dies...No I can't think like that. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As we got to the hospital Kevin ran to the information desk to inquire about Justin. Once we were given directions we ran to the room number and found JC waiting outside it. "They won't let anyone see him yet." JC whispered. He looked like he was about to collapse. He was so pale and distraught. I had never seen him this messed up. "JC what happened?" Kevin quietly asked. JC just began to cry out his response. "When we went looking for Justin.....I found him in an alley....and they beat him up so bad I couldn't even recognize him...and they were trying to rape him..." JC rambled on. "All my fault...it's all my fault." To say that all of us were stunned would be the understatement of the year! How could something like this happen? And to Justin? He wouldn't even hurt a fly-literally. Damn, Justin wraps up bugs and throws them outside rather than smash them with a shoe. We would always make fun of him for that, but the truth was it just showed how truly caring he was, as a person. "Who did this to him? Who did it? I'll kill those bastards!" Kevin hollered in a fit of rage. Who knew soft-spoken, level headed, continually calm Kevin had that side to him? "It was those guys who I fought with at the airport. I don't know how they found him but they did! You see this is all my fault. I didn't mean to get into an argument with them but they were talking shit about Justin and us being gay. They said it was on the news and it all went down hill from there. If I had just kept my big mouth shut....it's all my fault." Poor JC. "As much as I don't like the way you've been acting lately, JC, this is not your fault! It's my fault. If I had not caused that scene in the bar to began with, none of this would be going on." Kevin whimpered his feelings out. "Enough of this crap already! It's not any of our faults! It's those three creeps who did this. Just because they figured Justin was gay does not give them the right to rape him. The only thing were all guilty of is being immature and petty the last week. I should have worked through my problems with you Cuz, and Justin and JC should have worked through theirs." Brian offered a rational perspective. "I still can't believe this is happening. I mean, you just don't hear of this kind of thing. Sure with women, you hear it, but never a guy." I offered as I fought back tears. "Well I read somewhere that it's really common, especially with children, boys as much as girls, but the article said boys are too embarrassed and ashamed to admit it because they feel it takes there masculinity away, or something like that. Why would someone hurt someone like that? It's unbelievably cruel." Brian responded to me. I quickly excused myself to the restroom to get away from the conversation. As I entered the stall I pulled my knees up to my chin and rocked back and forth on the commode. Brian was right. I was too ashamed to ever admit what had happened to me all those years, back home. It was my fault anyway...It's just that all of this is getting brought up again in me. At least they saved Justin, no one was there to save me. ~Kevin~ At the simple mention of what might have happened to Justin, JC was collapsed on the floor. I'm still not a big fan of JC's behavior recently, but I have to admit he really does love Justin. You just can't fake the anguish that he is in. In a weird way it's as if he is sharing Justin's pain. Like he feels it too. Almost like it happened to both of them. "Listen JC you need to get some rest. Why don't you go back to my hotel room and rest awhile and we can stay here and make sure everything is all right." I offered, knowing he had yet to get a hotel room. "I can't. I can't leave him." JC said flatly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The next few days were long and hard on all of us. We had kept a constant vigil at the hospital in front of Justin's room. We hoped and prayed for the best and prepared and braced ourselves for the worst. By this time Justin's parents had been notified and were in utter shock as they waited with the rest of us, for news of their son. The rest of us including Joey and Chris who flew in immediately. Shortly after they arrived Britney, Nick, Howie and AJ arrived. It was no surprise really that all of us would be there. We were all like one extended family. When your thrown together by the same management teams, even if some of us left that manager, you never lose that bond. So when times got tough, we were all there for each other, just like family. Over the past few days, Justin had improved. The swelling of his face had gone down somewhat so that you could at least recognize him again. They had stabilized him and did what they could for the broken ribs and his fractured leg. All these injuries took awhile to get to because the first priority was the head trauma. Now we just waited for him to come out of his coma (Hopefully), and prayed he had suffered no brain damage. "At least we were able to keep the attempted rape part out of the press. As much as it shouldn't, it would have devastated Justin if that had gotten out." Joey spoke up. "It's just so wrong! First they violate him by beating him and then the violate his soul by making him feel ashamed and embarrassed." Chris' anger boiled. ~Brian~ We all took turns going in to see Justin, but mainly his parents and JC spent most of their time in there. It was a stressful situation because his parents were divorced and not even under theses circumstances could they keep from fighting. At least he had JC to comfort him. My Frack was being great to everybody! He had so much energy. He was bringing coffee and meals. He would carpool people back and forth between the hotel and the hospital. I was so proud of him-that he was so strong. We didn't really talk much, beyond keeping up appearances, so that everyone that didn't know we were gay would remain in the dark. I still had hope in my heart that we could find our way back to each other. "So Nicky can we talk for a minute, in private." I finally worked up my courage to ask him. "Um, I need to go to the restroom, sorry." He abruptly answered and took off. Well so much for our reconciliation. He won't even bother to talk to me. I sat and talked with Joey for a minute but then excused myself and went to the restroom to find Nick. He just had to listen to me. As I opened the door, I completely freaked out. Bent over the sink was Nick with a rolled up dollar bill. He had it pressed to his nose as he snorted some white powder. I assumed it was cocaine, given the amount of boundless energy he suddenly had. "What the hell are you doing? Trying to kill yourself? Anyone could have walked in?" I shouted, fearful for Nick's safety. "Calm down Bri, it's just a little coke, it's not gonna kill me." "What the hell is wrong with you? Who gave this to you?" "My Girlfriend." Nick answered simply as my world came crashing down around me. ~JC~ I was waiting outside Justin's room while his mother was with him. Out of nowhere Lynn (his Mom) began screaming that he was waking up. I immediately rushed towards the room but was quickly stopped as several doctor's and nurses entered. They ushered Lynn out, so that they could examine Justin. It seemed like hours had passed before the doctors came back out to talk to us. "Dr. Campos how is he? Will he be all right?" Lynn frantically drilled the doctor with questions. I'm surprised she's so concerned. It's funny that she can find time to be with Justin when he is practically dying, but when he is alive and well, she was always gone. I shouldn't be so petty, but if you are not with the ones you love while their living, why should it matter to you if they die. I know Lynn loves Justin, but she didn't really raise him. He had nannies and me. Lynn could literally be gone weeks at a time. And Justin's father lived in another state. He saw him a couple of times each year. Conceiving a child doesn't make you a parent, raising one does. It wouldn't matter to me, if I didn't know how it made Justin feel. He always felt like he was unwanted or a burden. Obviously I haven't made him feel better lately. "Well Mrs. Harless, Physically Justin is improving at a good pace but his metal condition seems to be damaged." Dr. Campos answered Lynn. "Oh my God, no. He was awake I could hear him trying to say something. He can't be 'damaged' doctor." Lynn responded. "Justin is not coherent. He doesn't seem to understand or hear what we say. He is just staring off and mumbling. Now this could be caused by the head trauma or by the fear of his attack. It's common in those who are assaulted severely, they lock up in a safe place in their mind. It's a way of disconnecting from their bodies pain. We are not sure what the case with Justin is yet. I recommend that those closest to Justin try to talk him out of this." "Well obviously that's me. I'm his mother. I'll go." Lynn announced. "I think you should let me go Lynn, Justin is more comfortable around me." I shyly whispered. "How dare you Joshua, I'm his mother. Don't ever question the bond I have with my son. You'll see." Lynn marched right in to Justin's room and sat with him. She was speaking in a soft voice but the words she was using were all wrong. She was demanding that he suck it up and be a man. She told him the quicker he snapped out of it the quicker he could put it all behind him. As if it was that easy, I wanted to strangle her for being so mean to my baby. "He just isn't responding, doctor. I guess it's head trauma, he seems like he is completely out of it. He keeps mumbling the word skinny over and over again. What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Lynn announced. "Yes he was repeating that while we were examining him Mrs. Harless." As Lynn and the doctor talked I slipped into Justin's room. The minute I heard Lynn mention that Justin was repeating the word 'skinny' I knew he would eventually be fine. I was 'skinny'. When we were on the Mickey Mouse Club and I first met Justin I used to tease him about his curly hair and gave him the nickname 'curly'. He doesn't mind the name now, but he hated it then. Truth be told, Justin still hates it but he lets us call him that anyway. To get me back he used to tease me about being so thin and call me 'J. S.kinny' and eventually just 'skinny'. He stopped calling me that because he claims he saw an episode of 20/20 (like he was really watching that) about anorexia and how reinforcing negative comments can effect someone. He was convinced that his calling me skinny for years had made me anorexic. For a month he supervised all my meals and began to continuously feed me. He would just pop out a candy bar in the middle of the mall and make me eat it. I started to feel like some state fair pig they were trying to fatten up for a first place blue ribbon. All I needed was a pink bow around my neck. It got so bad that by the end of the month he had almost convinced me that I was anorexic. I was ready to check into a clinic. Well not quite but he was freaking me out. Of course compared to the amounts of food Justin eats anyone would seem anorexic to him. But that was my baby J. always overreacting. Gosh where did all these memories start coming from? Would it ever be like that again between me and Justin? I hope so. He looks so sad, please help him God. "Justin? Justin?" I whispered as I kneeled down by his bedside. "Skinny." he whimpered as he rocked back and forth. He didn't seem to be recognizing me. "Yeah it's me Justin, skinny...JC." I told him. Justin's countenance soon began to change and he seemed to recognize who I was. I began to sing the words of 'God Must...On you' and with each lyric Justin's recognition seemed to increase. "JC?" He whispered with a raspy voice. "Yeah Just, it's me. How are you feeling?" "What happened? I just remember...Oh god no...." Justin's bottom lip began to quiver and he started to cry. He assumed he had been raped. "Justin, listen to me, nothing happened. We got their in time, nothing happened, besides you getting beat up." "But I remember him pulling my pants down and...he was touching me down there and..." Justin couldn't finish as fresh tears sprang forth from his eyes. "But that's as far as it went, Just. After that I beat him up with a night stick. I would never let anyone hurt my Curly." "How did you know where I was? Oh thank you JC." Justin swiftly hugged me but then drew back as the pain was too great on his body. "I don't know how I knew where you were I just knew. I guess were connected like that. Well you need to get some rest and I should go tell everyone that you are passed the worst." "Am I Skinny?" "Yeah you are. And stop calling me Skinny, I'm studly and buff." I said as I flexed my muscles for Justin. He smiled. The best I could hope for right now. "Don't leave me, Josh." Justin said as he grabbed for my arm. "I promise I'll be right back, I just have to let everyone know." I kissed him on the forehead and continued "Goodnight Cutie, I'll be right back." "You mean Curly, JC." Justin corrected me. "No I meant Cutie." I grinned and ran to his bed kissed him quickly on the lips and ran out to the sound of Justin's laughter. The best sound I had heard in days. TBC