Date: Thu, 4 Aug 2005 18:53:42 +0100 (BST)
From: Jezebel <eh_oh_po@yahoo.com>
Subject: Star Encounter 5

Star Encounter 5
Author: Jezebel
Feedback: eh_oh_po@yahoo.com

Disclaimers: I do not know any of the celebrities mentioned herein, this
has no element of truth to it.  This is no reflection on their true
sexualities or personalities of any people mentioned.  If you are underage
for your area or if it is illegal for you to look at this why not go
somewhere else, if you don't like the thought of two men together in a
loving, sexual way this isn't for you either.


***

Part 5 - Fears and Self Loathing in Las Vegas

Justin had been surprised that Maya had left them so suddenly and worried
that she would report back to Brandon that he had not looked after her or
something but he got a call late the next day to explain.  Maya had said
that she had other things to do and that she didn't want to be photographed
out with Nsync.  It sounded plausible and Lance seemed to back up the story
about Maya wanting to leave early, although he also chewed Justin out for
abandoning her at the club.

Brandon was close mouthed about his upcoming birthday.  Justin knew that
they were having a surprise party for him but Brandon did not even mention
that he was about to turn 30.  Justin wondered if getting old bothered
Brandon or something, Chris who had turned 30 a year ago had qualms about
getting old.  There was also the age issue between them that Justin thought
might bother Brandon.  It didn't phase Justin but then he supposed that
dating someone older usually got kudos for a young man, it probably didn't
matter that the older person he was dating was a man.  Did Brandon feel as
if he was somehow corrupting the young and innocent Justin?  Justin didn't
really see himself as young, despite only being 21, and he definitely was
not innocent.  Years of working in the industry that he did had made Justin
grow quickly and in the last few years he had learned the hard way what
naivete could do.

Whatever it was that was bothering Brandon Justin did not mention his
birthday or celebrations.  They continued talking about the tour and about
every day events in their lives when they shared phone calls and Justin
became more and more nervous as the Nsync tour approached Los Angeles.  He
had spent a brief amount of time with Brandon backstage back in January but
other than that they had not seen each other.  Brandon's birthday would be
the first chance that they got to actually be together in three years.
Justin was beginning to realise that he wanted more than friendship out of
his relationship with Brandon and judging by the things that Maya had said
on her visit, as well as a few deeper conversations they had shared over
the phone, Brandon wanted the same thing.

Maya had already sent Justin through the package of information that he
would need for the party.  There was a security pass for the hotel, details
of a room that had been reserved for him and a private invitation to the
party as well as security passes to one of Brandon's concerts while they
were there.  Maya seemed to have thought of everything now all Justin had
to do was plan it at his end.  He had the time off but wanted to let the
others know he was travelling down to Vegas for his downtime.

"Lance, is there any chance that you can get me a car for the days we have
off?" He asked as the bus entered LA.  "I'm thinking about going to Vegas
for some R&R..."

"That sounds like a good idea." Lance said.  "You want some company?"

Justin was about to say no, to tell Lance he just wanted to spend the time
alone, when Chris entered from the front of the bus and hijacked the
conversation.

"Are you planning a trip?" He asked, excited that they were actually doing
more than staying in a hotel for the downtime.  "Because I hear there are
some great golf courses down in Vegas and I could definitely go for a
little poker game or two..."

"Who's going to Vegas?" Joey asked from up the front of the bus.

Justin sighed.  He hadn't planned on this but he could hardly tell them
that they weren't invited without further questions that he was not ready
to answer.  It couldn't be too hard to avoid them once he was there, could
it?  Brandon was staying at an exclusive hotel that would be fully booked
with his entourage and Justin could easily find an excuse to disappear when
they got there.

"Justin wants to go on our week off." Lance replied, answering Joey's
question.  "I think we're going along too..." He shrugged at Justin as if
this was his way of apologising.  Justin smiled in return.

"Road Trip!" Chris called as he finished making his way through the bus and
plonked down on the couch next to Justin.  "We'll have so much fun..." He
said throwing a casual arm around Justin and talking about all the things
that they could do once they got there.

Justin wondered if Chris would be upset if he didn't take part in those
plans, he had plans of his own and he was not going to give them up for
anything.  He was going to see Brandon again and nothing was going to ruin
that for him, not even having his four brothers along for the ride.

***

As they drove into Las Vegas the following week in the minivan that Lance
had hired Justin wondered if leading such a glamorous life took the edge
off of the attractions a bit.  He had been here a number of times and had
to admit that it didn't hold the magic of that first visit when he was
barely old enough to enter the casinos.  Joey still seemed to get caught up
in the thrill of it all but only by spending more and more at the tables,
and even though Chris' fixation was poker it was the high stakes and not
the actual place that enchanted them.  There were of course other
enticements for Justin on this trip and one of them was emblazoned six feet
high outside the Paradiso Casino where his new friend was playing.

"No Way!" Chris said as he saw the large sign.  "I can't believe that
Brandon Taylor is playing here and we can't get tickets.  Did you know
about this Jup?"  Chris asked, hoping that Justin was as outraged as he was
about missing out on this opportunity.

Justin bit his lip for the moment, trying to come up with an answer that
wasn't a blatant lie.  He couldn't say that he hadn't known but he
similarly did not want to mention that he had known but not obtained
tickets.

"I found out after it was sold out." Justin said.  "I could try to get
tickets through an agent, but something makes me think that this is a
concert that even the ticket touts will be going to see."

"It's okay." Chris said, as the poster faded into the distance.  "I mean,
we got to see the exclusive in January right?  That was so much better than
some concert in Vegas."

Justin could see that his friend was disappointed at missing this chance
but he was certain that as soon as Chris settled in at a table he would
forget that disappointment, especially if he lined his pocket with a little
money.

"What are you going to do while we're here Josh?" Justin asked, not really
sure why JC had come on the trip other than the fact that the rest of the
boys were going.  He wasn't really one for rides or gambling and he
certainly didn't have a secret boyfriend to visit (at least not that Justin
knew about).

"I think I'll probably sleep late and maybe catch some rays." Josh replied
easily.  "Maybe play a few slots and catch a show.  You know, the usual."

Justin nodded, pretending that he did know what it was that Josh got up to
on their days off, even though he wasn't sure he knew at all.  JC usually
kept his activities while they were off on the down low, probably because
he wanted to keep some elements of his private life private.  Justin
respected the need for secrecy, after all he had a few secrets of his own.

"What about you?" Josh replied politely.

"Actually, Maya is in town." Justin said with a small smile.  "I figured we
could catch up a little..."

Chris rolled his eyes and decided that the major golf tournament he had
planned would have to wait if Justin was getting busy.  He wanted to spend
some time with his best friend but would graciously step aside if there was
a woman involved.  He hoped that in the unlikely event that it were the
other way around that Justin would do the same.  Besides, if Curly was
getting over Britney it could only be a good thing and was worth the
sacrifice.

"You still want to catch up and play a few rounds while we're here?" Chris
asked, giving Justin a guilt-free way out if he wanted one.

"I promised, didn't I?" Justin answered.  He had thought that he and Chris
could do that while Brandon was working.  Despite being out on the road he
and Chris barely saw each other to just hang out for the day and it would
be good to catch up without the shadow of work hanging over them.

"I just wanted to make sure that you wouldn't be too tired..." Chris
replied suggestively.  "We wouldn't want you to strain anything..."

And as the mini-van erupted into fits of giggles Justin wondered if he
couldn't just dump the rest of them on the sidewalk and go it alone.  If it
had not been for the fact that Lance was driving he might have done just
that.

***

The Paradiso Casino boasted the largest square footage of any of the
gambling hotels on the strip and was a lot better equipped than any of them
to deal with a star on Brandon's level.  Nsync themselves were staying at
the much cheaper Marriott Hotel on one edge of the city.  Had the band been
travelling for business they may have gone somewhere a little more
exclusive but Justin doubted they would ever be in the league of the
Paradiso Casino.

The lobby of the hotel was beautifully decked out in marble and gold, which
far from being tacky actually looked like the millions of dollars it must
have cost to build, and as Justin stepped in there he could not help but
feel as if there was a little bit of the wealth of the casino rubbing off
on him.  Sheikhs and Celebrities mixed with businessmen and professional
gamblers in this place and Justin felt a little more at ease here than he
had at their own budget hotel.  Here he was practically a nobody and if it
had not been for the borrowed credentials that Maya had Fed Exed to him he
doubted he even would have gotten past the well dressed concierge on the
door.

"Can I help you, Sir?" The young desk clerk asked from behind the wide
expanse of desk.  "Do you have a reservation?"

Justin coughed once to clear his throat and then spoke.

"I have a room on the..." he paused to check his piece of paper, not seeing
which floor he was on.  "I'm with the Mattherson Party." Justin said, not
finding a room number.  "My name is..."

"Of course, Mr. Timberlake." The clerk said as she checked the computer
records.  Justin didn't think that she had even realised who he was and had
to credit her professionalism that she did not even smile as she spoke his
name.  "Ms. Matherson has left the key to your suite here.  Did you have
any baggage to take up?"

"Erm...No." Justin replied.  He had left his bags at the hotel, bringing
only the small backpack with a few belongings in.  He hadn't thought to
bring anything else and it may arouse suspicion if he left the hotel with
his baggage.  "I'll just take the key."

"Certainly." She said, handing him the card key and a Gold business card.
"If there is anything that we can do to make your stay more comfortable do
not hesitate to call down on this number." She said.

Justin wondered what kind of personal services she was about to offer until
he realised that it was a standard card and not one with her home phone
number on it.  Either she was not a fan or she was paid too much to risk
her job with such a move.  Justin realised that must be one of the reasons
that this was such an exclusive hotel.  He took a few steps away from the
desk and then realised he had no idea where he was actually going.

"Lewis, will you show Mr. Timberlake up to the Penthouse please?" The clerk
asked a passing bellboy.  It was only when he took him to a secluded
elevator in a private corner that Justin realised what she had said.  He
had to ask himself why he was staying in the Penthouse suite.

***

"Maya, I thought I told you I didn't want any more interruptions today..."
Brandon called as he heard the click of the door as someone attempted to
open it.  He had locked it from the inside because he wanted a little
privacy but knew his baby sister would not allow him to wallow.  With a
sigh he opened the door and was surprised to see that it was not Maya on
the other side.

"Hi." Justin said, a small smile playing on his lips.  "I was just in the
area and..." Any further explanation was silenced when Brandon kissed him
before pulling him inside and wrapping his arms around him.  The embrace
was loose but Justin could feel Brandon shaking slightly as he held him and
tightened his hold accordingly.

"I don't care why you're here." Brandon said softly.  He leaned down and
gently nuzzled Justin's neck, causing Justin to shiver at the attention.
"God, you smell good..." Brandon said with a slight uncomfortable laugh
before pulling away.  There was a brief silence and then Brandon looked
back up to Justin.  "So, you were saying..."

"I thought you didn't want to know what I was doing here." Justin answered.

Brandon smiled.

"I changed my mind." He said.  "Although I would guess it has something to
do with the surprise party that Maya is planning to throw for me tomorrow.
Don't tell me, you're supposed to invite me out for a meal and then instead
of going to a romantic nook we'll end up at the private function room
downstairs."

"I don't..." Justin stopped there when he realised that Brandon would not
believe him and that someone had obviously spilled the beans.  "How did you
know?" He asked.  Justin knew that Maya had spent the better part of a
month planning the party and would be disappointed that someone had ruined
the surprise.  The least Justin could do was find out who it was that had
spoiled it.

"Justin, I have a staff of over forty people on tour with me that keep
waiting for me to fall off the wagon at the slightest hint of a shock, they
don't want me to go through anything too stressful and that includes
surprise parties for my dreaded thirtieth birthday.  A dozen different
people warned me that something was going to happen and the way that Maya
has been acting it didn't take a genius to work out what that would be."
Brandon rationalised.  "I'm just grateful that part of the ordeal of the
party means that you came out to see me.  I assume that you are staying
close by..."

Justin blushed slightly and looked down at the key in his hand.  He didn't
want Brandon to assume that he was staying there with him, there was still
a lot about their relationship that they needed to sort out and they were a
long way off of staying together.

"Actually, I'm staying at the Marriott." Justin said.  "The boys heard I
was coming out to Vegas and hijacked the trip."

Brandon nodded.

"Don't worry, I won't monopolise your time too much." He said immediately.
"Although it would be nice to see you tomorrow."

"I thought..." Justin paused again, suddenly feeling very uncertain around
Brandon despite always being able to talk to him on the phone.  With the
man in the same room it was a lot harder to concentrate.  "Are you free
now?  I thought we could hang out."

Brandon's smile widened and the headache that he had been fighting all day
seemed to dissipate in a moment.

"I'm all yours."

Justin blushed again at that and Brandon laughed.  Both of them feeling how
true that statement could be.

"So, what did you want to do?" Brandon asked with a small smile which only
made Justin's blush deepen.  "I was about to go and hit the tables."

It was a lie, Brandon had been preparing for an afternoon of quiet
contemplation and self-pity before going to play his concert that evening,
but he did not want Justin to know that.  They were in Vegas and gambling
was one of the key reasons to go there.

"I'm not really big on gambling." Justin replied.  "I'm always scared that
I'll end up losing everything because I throw away the wrong card or
something."  Justin was only just legally allowed to drink and gamble.  He
had not really done anything outside of playing poker with the boys for
quarters but he was not about to admit that to Brandon because it would
remind his friend just how much of an age gap there was between them.  The
last thing that Brandon needed when he was feeling depressed about hitting
thirty was to be reminded that he was on the verge of a relationship with
someone nine years his junior.

"There is a key rule to going to a casino and that is to set yourself a
spending limit which you won't go over.  That way you'll never spend more
than you can afford." Brandon said.  "Some people only go in these places
and spend $10 but the whole atmosphere is something that you have to
experience."

"How much do you spend?" Justin asked, wondering what kind of limit he
should set himself.  Was $100 too much?

Brandon chuckled softly and shook his head.

"Don't base your limit on anything but your own means." Brandon said
sagely.  "I've been playing the odds for years and like to make things a
little interesting now and then."

"How interesting?" Justin pushed, wanting to know if Brandon was bluffing
him in practice for Blackjack or if he truly did spend large amounts.

"Truth?" Brandon asked, watching as Justin nodded.  "I never spend over
twenty thousand dollars in one day."

Justin's jaw fell open in shock as he realised that Brandon was being
serious.  That was a hell of a lot of money to venture on the roll of a
dice or the spin of a wheel.

"It's okay." Brandon was quick to reassure him.  "I'll probably stick to
$1,000 today, I don't splash out all too often but I have an upper ceiling
of 20 K that I won't go over.  To start with you should set yours a little
lower.  Try $100?"

"Okay." Justin answered.  "But you'll have to talk me through it.  I
haven't done a lot more than play a few rounds of poker or bet on some
Football games."

"Don't worry, you'll be great." Brandon said.

As they headed down in the private elevator that led onto the gaming floor
Justin hoped that he didn't show his new friend up too much because they
were in a pretty exclusive place.

***

The Casino proper was smaller than Justin had imagined and less gaudy than
he had thought it would be.  Brandon took him on a circuit around the
medium size room and named each game before settling them at the bar.

Justin wondered if Brandon felt uncomfortable at all as he waited to be
served.

"What are you drinking?" Brandon asked looking at Justin.

"Just a coke." Justin replied, mindful that he was with a recovering
alcoholic.

"You can have a beer or something if you prefer." Brandon said.

"Coke is fine." Justin replied, feeling a little defensive.  Brandon shared
a knowing look with him as if he understood what Justin was trying to do
and then ordered a coke and an orange juice.

"It's weird, I never used to drink in places like this, even when I was
addicted.  I would stick to seedy bars or drinking at home, I was never
really much of a social drinker." Brandon said softly to Justin.  "I spend
more time in places that serve alcohol now than I used to when I wasn't on
the wagon."

Justin wasn't sure how he was supposed to react to the revelation, although
he knew that Brandon was sharing it more for his benefit than to get it off
his chest.  Brandon was subtly telling Justin that he was not about to fall
apart at the first sight of a beer glass and that it was okay to drink
around him if he wanted to.  Justin didn't really drink a lot anyway.

"What do you want to do first?" Brandon asked after they had collected
their drinks and Brandon had charged them to his room.  "You want to watch
a few games, or get some chips now and just dive in at the deep end?"

"I'd like to see you play." Justin replied, realising only after he had
spoken the words that they could be misconstrued.

"Okay then." Brandon said with a smile.  He signalled to the Roulette wheel
and headed in that direction, handing the attendant a platinum card.

"I'd like a thousand dollars, please." Brandon said coolly, as if he were
simply purchasing coffee and a Danish from a café.

The broker handed the money over and then turned to the rest of the people
at the table.

"Place your bets, please." He said politely.

Justin watched as Brandon started out with $200 on black.  The odds were
good but the rewards for such a safe bet were not all that large.  When the
small ball landed on Black Justin realised with a small flutter that
Brandon had already won $200.  As they continued to play he realised that
Brandon's bets were gradually getting more daring as he continued to win
but that he would place smaller amounts on more risky ventures.  Brandon
seemed to err on the side of caution while still gambling the money he had.

After a dozen or so bets he turned to Justin and smiled.

"Did you want to play something else?" Brandon asked, conscious of the fact
that Justin was watching him with rapture but had yet to place a bet
himself.

"But you're winning." Justin pointed out.

"It's always a good idea to quit while you're ahead." Brandon said,
carefully stacking his chips and then making his way over to the slot
machines.  "I'll start you off on something simple."

He changed a few of his smaller chips for a bucket of quarters and they
walked along until they found two machines next to each other that were
empty.

"These are a lot less expensive as long as you don't get addicted to them."
Brandon lectured.  "But they can be just as much fun as the higher risk
games."

Justin nodded, looking at the glowing machine in front of him and
cautiously fed in a few quarters.  He pulled the lever and was surprised
when he won his quarter back.  After a few more shots he was not as careful
and fed the quarters with abandon.  Brandon smiled to himself knowing that
Justin would prefer to start off small and work his way up.  He stopped
after the first few and instead took the chance to watch Justin as he
eagerly fed more and more quarters into the machine, cheering each time he
won even if it was only a coin or two.

Justin's face was full of youthful enthusiasm exactly as Brandon remembered
it being the night they had spent together in Chicago.  Three years had
passed since then and in ways Justin had grown a lot but in others he was
still the same young and innocent boy that Brandon had fallen in love with.
Brandon wondered if he had any right to further tarnish Justin's perfection
but it was not his choice alone, not anymore at least.  Justin was there to
spend time with him and had made the effort to come out and visit him.
That must mean that the young man was willing to make some effort to build
a relationship between them and the hope of that was enough to pull Brandon
out of the worry he felt in turning thirty.  If he concentrated on Justin's
enthusiasm he might even forget that he was 9 years older than Justin.

Justin reached into the bucket and saw that there were only a handful of
quarters left.  He also realised that Brandon was no longer feeding his
machine.

"Gone?" He asked as he fed the last of the quarters into the machine.

"Yep, you spent them all." Brandon said.  "And learnt another lesson that
you probably want to learn quickly if you take up gambling."

"What's that?" Justin asked.

"The House always wins." Brandon replied smugly.

Justin frowned.

"If the odds are stacked against you then why play at all?" He asked.  It
was a valid question and one that Brandon could easily answer.

"Because if you do win, you win big." Brandon said.  "And a lot of people
focus on only that when they play.  As long as you never spend more than
you can afford you should be okay."

"Oh." Justin said, a small amount of the enthusiasm leaving him as he
realised that it wasn't as easy as it first looked to win.  "Did you want
to stay down here a bit longer?" Justin asked.  "Or can we go back
upstairs?"

"We can go if you want, just let me cash out." Brandon said.  "You want to
do anything in particular?"

"I thought we could talk a bit, maybe catch a film and..." Justin paused,
looking over his shoulder and checking that there was no one listening
before leaning in closer.  "I really want to kiss you again." He confided
saucily, like a naughty school boy afraid of getting caught.

Brandon wanted to throw the chips in his hands away and grab Justin right
there but he knew that would be moving things far too quickly and outing
both of them before they were ready for it.  Instead he took a deep breath
and tried to still his fast beating heart and hardening cock.  He was
surprised at the amount that the cashier gave him when he handed in the
chips.  He was $4,000 up from his brief visit and was about to go and make
out with the man of his dreams.  He wondered if the lecture he had given
Justin had been wrong, after all, they say that House always wins but this
time it was definitely Brandon that left feeling like a Winner.

***

***

Brandon had not wanted to rush things when he finally met up with Justin
again.  Seeing him again made Brandon want to forget his promise to take
things slow and take Justin to bed, especially now that he was wondering if
Justin would have the same enthusiasm in bed as he had had about the slot
machines.  But it was important that Justin set the pace for things between
them because Brandon knew that the younger man was still skittish and
possibly still smarting from his break up with his girlfriend.  The last
thing that he wanted to do was scare Justin away.

They were on their way to Brandon's room when they bumped into Maya.  >From
the look of the bags in each hand she had been out shopping.  Brandon was
both glad and disappointed to see his little sister.  If she was there then
it took the pressure off of the two of them to go off together but it also
meant that he was not going to get the kiss that Justin had talked about.

Maya looked up when she saw them and smiled.  It was clear that she was
trying to act surprised that Justin was there.

"Hey." She said with a slight nod to Justin.  "What are you doing here?"

"I thought that I would come by and visit." Justin answered.  "I heard that
Brandon was here and we were in Los Angeles and had a few days off so I
thought I would come by.  I didn't realise that you would be here too."

"Someone has to look after me." Brandon said with a chuckle as he walked
forward to hug Maya.  He leaned down as he hugged her and tried to sneak a
peak in the bags.  "Do I want to know what you've been buying?"

"Get out of there!" She chided as she pushed the bags out of his grasp.
"You won't get the present that I bought you if you're naughty."

"Ooh..." Brandon said, tickling Maya.  "You mean that you actually bought
me a present this year, what brought this on?"

She giggled and ran away from him, pausing only to take the bags and head
for her room.  Brandon gave chase.  Justin realised that it was nice to see
them playing together as brother and sister, he had missed that for most of
his childhood and didn't have as much time to spend with Jon and Stevie now
that they were in the world.  Maybe if Katherine had lived he would know
what it was like to have a sister too but as it was he had never had the
camaraderie that Brandon and Maya had.  He hoped that as his brothers grew
they would understand as well as Maya had why he could not be there when he
was touring and that they too would grow to be friends.

Justin was torn from his pondering by a screech at the end of the hall.

"Justin! Save Me!" Maya screamed.  Brandon walked up the corridor with his
sister slung over one shoulder kicking and screaming.  "Let me go, you
brute."  She said as she pounded on Brandon's back.

"What do you think I should do with her?" Brandon asked Justin, with a
conspiratorial wink.

"Maybe you could sell her to some passing traders." Justin said.  "Or
gamble her downstairs."

"Nah, she's too feisty.  I doubt that they would give me the right price
for her and if I gambled her and won they might give me twice as many to
deal with."  Brandon replied with a small smile.

"Maybe you should let her go then." Justin answered gravely.  "I don't want
you too burdened with women..."

Brandon looked at the serious look on Justin's face and couldn't help but
laugh.  He had reconciled his own sexuality a long time ago, it was Justin
that had just split from his girlfriend and yet Justin was the one that was
getting jealous.  He dropped Maya onto her feet and then took two fast
strides forward and wrapped his arms around Justin.

"No woman could ever compare to you." Brandon said.

Justin frowned.

"Thanks, I think." He laughed.

Brandon kissed him full on the mouth, not caring who might see.  He looked
into Justin's face, making sure that the other man was focused on him, and
then spoke.

"*No one* could ever compare to you." Brandon said meaning it.  Justin
tried to look away but Brandon held his gaze.  "Justin, you saved my life
but more than that you came back to me after everything I did."

'I love you' Brandon thought, but stopped himself from saying the words
because he did not want to scare Justin away.

Justin nodded, swallowing the lump that was forming in his throat because
no one had ever said anything like that to him before.  He felt the same
way about Brandon, the man that had first made him believe in himself and
the man that was making him believe in love again.  He could fall in love
with Brandon if he was not careful and for the first time since Brit had
shredded his heart into pieces he was actually considering throwing caution
to the wind and allowing himself to fall.

"Did you want to catch that film or something?" Justin asked, as he
realised that security had gathered at a discreet distance after the
screams from Maya and were now watching the pair of them.

"Or something..." Brandon said huskily as he threw an arm around Justin's
shoulder and led them towards his room.

No one reminded Brandon that he had a show in just over an hour because
none of them had seen him smile this much in a long while.

***

Justin entered the suite with Brandon just behind him, he had fumbled
slightly with the keycard to open the door and hadn't realised until then
that his hands were shaking.  It had been a long time since he had been
with anyone and the promise in Brandon's voice when he had spoken made
Justin nervous.

"Relax." Brandon said as he placed a kiss on Justin's neck.  "We don't have
to do anything that you don't want to do."  This was followed by another
kiss.  "We don't have to do anything."

Brandon closed the door behind him and then stepped back, giving Justin the
freedom to back away if he wanted to.

"I want to, it's just..." Justin paused, swallowed and then looked away.
"It's been a long time since I was with anyone."

Brandon laughed wryly causing Justin to look up sharply.

"It's probably been longer for me." Brandon said as he eyed Justin
cautiously.  Justin frowned.

"You mean, you haven't since we..." Justin asked aloud.

Brandon laughed again.

"Shit, I don't have that much control." He replied.  "But it has been a
little over two years.  Alcohol isn't the only thing that I haven't touched
since rehab."

"Two years?" Justin asked.  It had been six months for him and he thought
that was a dry spell.

"I had a lot to sort out." Brandon said with a shrug.  "The last thing that
I needed was some guy selling his story to the paper about how he had spent
a torrid night of passion with Brandon Taylor."

Justin wanted to say something to that but he didn't know what to say.  He
didn't think that there were any words to reply to that.

"Sorry." Brandon said after a moment.  "Guess I killed the mood."

"No." Justin said.  "I don't think that either of us was ready for anything
serious or we would be doing it now."

"So, you want to catch that movie?" Brandon asked.

Justin checked his watch and realised that it was getting late.

"I'd love to but I'm meant to be meeting the boys for dinner at 7." He
replied.  "And I'm pretty sure that you need to be onstage."

"You're not coming to see it, are you?" Brandon asked suspiciously.

Justin shook his head.

"No, we couldn't get tickets at this short notice." Justin answered.
"Chris was devastated by that news."

Brandon kissed Justin softly and then opened the door.  "Talk to Maya, she
should be able to sort you out some good seats for tomorrow."

"Are you busy after the show tonight?" Justin asked.  He wanted to spend
more time with Brandon but didn't want to impose.  "If not I thought I
could come over, maybe we could see that movie then."

"I'll be here." Brandon said.  "Just let yourself in."

"Thanks." Justin responded, kissing Brandon before finally turning to
leave.

Brandon shut the door and wondered if he had done the right thing in
telling Justin that it had been two years.  He didn't want to put that kind
of pressure on the young man and hadn't meant to talk about sex at all but
Justin made him forget what he should do.  He checked the clock and the
wall and swore softly as he realised that he would have to hurry if he
wanted to make it to the venue and get a shower first.  He didn't always
shower before a show but he would have to that night, if only to deal with
the hard on that Justin had left him with.

At least he didn't have to worry that he wouldn't be able to get it up for
Justin if they ever did make it to bed.

***

To Be Continued

Notes: Thanks to everyone that sent feedback - I'm trying to get the story
out as and when I can but your messages mean a lot to me and most
importantly let me know that there is someone reading this.