Date: Mon, 24 Jul 2000 12:43:52 -0700
From: Denzil Cuddy <D_Cuddy@email.msn.com>
Subject: Story of my Love installment 3

Hi!!!  Glad to see that you have made it to part three!  Wow, I didn't know
if I would it is flattering to see that my reader, or readers, has.  Well,
thanks for reading and thank you for all of the e-mails...as always I
welcome any and all feedback, let me know what you think, it is important
to me.  You may even have an affect on the path the story takes.  Well, I
hope to hear from you soon.  Thanks.

As always I do not know any member of Nsync or any other famous people for
that matter.  I do not know if any of them are gay, I have just based my
characters very very loosely on theses talented young men.  So, I hope
everyone enjoys it, and reads nothing serious into about the sexuality or
true personalities of these five young men.  On with the Show!



 The door slowly opens and there stands Lance.  I catch my breath a little
sharply as I realize he is just in a towel.  His hair is wet, and there are
little droplets of water on his broad shoulders.  I have seen Lance in less
than this before...it is hard to keep modest when you are in such close
quarters for so long, and clothing is the biggest component of modesty.
Dressing rooms are small and you don't really have time to care about
dressing and undressing in front of your band mates.
 I was really looking at Lance this time though, and he was beautiful.  I
must have been a little too obvious in my appraisal, however, because a
slight blush came to his cheeks.  This causes me to smile a little more,
and blush a bit myself.  I chuckle and he opens the door a little wider and
beckons me into his room.  I hear the door click shut behind me as I walk
over to the bed and sit down.
 "Quite a day huh?"  He says as he grabs an armful of clothes and heads
into the bathroom pulling the door shut behind him.  I guess modesty has a
little more bearing outside of the hectic dressing rooms.
 "Yeah, I HATE Carson Daily!!  Not really, but I do hate having to be at
the studio so late shooting that show.  The fans were great though!"
 "I know, have you ever noticed we have quite a few more male fans show up
when we are in New York?"  Lance laughs as the bathroom door opens and he
emerges.
 My breath catches slightly again as I see him.  He has on a slightly baggy
white t-shirt, and dark blue pants.  His clothes just hang off of him, and
his eyes sparkle in his beautifully pale face.  I smile and laugh along
with him.
 "Yeah, just another plus to being in the big apple."  As I talk he walks
over to a suitcase and pulls out a worn pair of sandals and sits on the
corner of the bed opposite me to put them on.  "So, where do you want to go
for lunch?"
 "I don't care, some place small and out of the way.  I am so sick of large
crowds...I just want some peace and quiet for a while.  How about a small
diner or cafe...that would be great!"
 "I know what you mean, a little anonymity never hurt anyone.  I think I
will be a little overdressed though.  Let's run to my room and let me
change."
 Lance agrees and we leave his room and head to mine.  I walk over to my
suitcase and pull out a comfortably baggy black t-shirt.  I quickly remove
the button down and pull the t-shirt over my head.  I notice Lance has a
sappy grin on his face and the blush has returned.  I chuckle and reach
over and muss his hair.  He laughs and tackles me.
 We wrestle around for a few moments, it is a happy routine in the group.
We have all been in wrestling matches and pillow fights.  I finally get
pinned and can't get free.  I look up through my laughter tears and see his
victorious smile.  I laugh even harder and feel myself turning bright red.
 "Tell me I'm ruler of the universe and I will let you up!"  Lance says as
he reaches down and tickles my ribs.  I squirm and laugh to no avail.  He
is strong, and I am exhausted from all of the laughter.  He stops tickling
me and I mange to get a good breath.  I look up at him with a devious smile
on my face.
 "Lance, you are the ruler of the universe.  So please, Majesty, let your
most faithful subject go free.  I will pay my taxes and be a good peasant.
Please!"  The statement is not truly funny but Lance and I are in a giggle
fit and can not help but laugh.  He gets up and reaches down to help me to
my feet.  I take his hand gratefully and stand next to him.
 "Come on your majesty, lets go and get something to eat!"  I put my arm
around his shoulders as I say this and guide us to the door of my room.  He
jus chuckles as we make our way down to the elevator.  We are both flushed
from the physical exertion of wrestling and I can feel the heat from his
body.  It is lovely, and I never want to let go.  The elevator dings and I
remove my arm but still stand close enough to fill the head radiating off
of him.
 The door opens and Lance smiles as he sees the elevator is empty.  He puts
his arm around my shoulders and guides me into the elevator.  I smile at
this and feel a slight nervousness at the same moment.  The doors close and
he leans over and kisses me.  I love the feel of his lips against mine.  I
love the taste and the texture.  I close my eyes and lean into the kiss.
The elevator dings and we practically fly apart.  We are in opposite
corners as an elderly lady steps in and presses the button for the lobby
again.
 She smiles and nods to each of us and then turns and faces the door.  I
sigh a little and look over to Lance.  He is flushed and has an amazingly
seductive look in his eyes.  He is staring at me, and I can feel myself
melting in the intensity.  I don't mind melting though, it is wonderful,
sometimes, just to be lost.  You can never find anything if you don't
become lost.  I smile and hear the bell ding again as all three of us walk
out and Lance and I head for the front doors and the waiting limo.
 We run through the small crowd of fans and jump into the open limo door.
The widows are dark and it is quiet inside.  We tell the driver to take us
to Times square and drop us off.  We then close the privacy glass and look
at each other.  Lance leans forward, I assume to kiss me, but I pull away.
He looks hurt for a moment and I quickly explain.
 "Lance, I really enjoyed the kiss in the elevator and would be lying if I
said that I did not want to make out with you in the limo.  I think,
however, there are some things we need to discuss first.  We need to talk
before anything else.  Is that o.k. with you?"
 There is a moment of silence that seems an eternity.  There is a look of
ravenous hunger in his eyes.  I feel a trembling in my heart and an
electric shock runs through my soul.  I want him and I know it.  I do not
want to destroy this or rush it though, I want to know him.  I want to love
him.  I smile as he nods his head reluctantly.
 "I understand JC, and I agree we do need to talk.  I just couldn't help
myself.  Thank you for being the voice of reason, I do not want to rush
into this.  We will have plenty of time for everything."  We sit in silence
for a moment, and I find my hand twined in his.  I smile and give his hand
a squeeze.  We chuckle and I feel the tension in the limo melt away.
 "So, Lance, you told me last night that you were gay.  When did you
realize this?"
 "Well, I have always known.  I fought if for a while as, I think, everyone
does.  I just had to tell someone, and you were there.  Thank you for
accepting me, it means a lot.  I also thought you were really really cute!
So things are going well for me.  How was it for you when you told people?"
 I sigh as I tell him my story.  I tell him how my family will no longer
talk to me, and how I miss my mom and little brother.  I tell him about the
distance that sprang up between Justin and Lynn, and myself.  I tell him of
my loneliness and depression.  I also tell him about how things are looking
up.  He puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me in for a hug.  I am
not crying, but I feel so wonderfully happy in that embrace.  I sigh and
lay my head on his shoulder.  We sit like this until the limo comes to a
complete stop and we hear the driver get out to open our door.
 We pull apart reluctantly and wait for the door to open.  When it finally
does the real world comes rushing in to find us.  I sigh as I get out and
Lance follows closely behind me.  We are standing apart like normal people,
but I feel some connection some gossamer thread that connects me to Lance.
It is wonderful to have someone.  I feel elated and all the hurt and anger
from the past few months has melted like the winters snow.  The memory of
the pain is lessened and I feel whole again.  It is wonderful.
 Lance and I walk around with the crowd.  Our baseball caps are pulled down
low and we are both wearing sun glasses.  No one seems to notice us, and it
is perfect.  We point to building and gawk like tourists are supposed to.
We have been here before and seen all of this, but things become new again
when you are sharing them with someone.  We finally wind up at a small cafe
in the Village and sit in a dark corner.  I order Earl Grey tea and Lance
orders a large French Vanilla Cappuccino.
 "So, tell me about your life before the group."  I say as we sip our
drinks and soak in the quiet thoughtful atmosphere.  I smile as I watch him
try to figure out how to start.
 "Well, I love my home in Alabama.  I have a wonderful mother who cares and
is there for me no matter what.  My dad is great and I have always wanted
to be as good as they are.  I don't know how to tell them about my...umm
sexuality.  I don't think they could understand.  Religion is very
important to them, and while I know they would still love me and try to
understand, things would never be the same.  I don't need to give them
something else to worry about."
 I smile at this.  He is so thoughtful, a wonderful son and a perfect
friend.  I reach out and pat his hand on the table.  He grabs my hand and
gives it a squeeze as he looks into my eyes.  I can see the struggle he has
to go through to be honest with himself in the matter of his sexuality was
a big battle for him.  More so than for those without the strict religion
taught to them all their lives.  I can not imagine what that would be like.
Our hands separate and I feel a little empty without some physical contact.
 His foot finds mine and he gently places it on top of mine.  I smile into
his eyes at the thought.  I wonder if he felt the same way I did when our
hands parted.
 "Tell me about your family?"  It is a statement but Lance has left a
question mark in his voice.  I smile at his ability to put me at ease.
 "My mom and dad were great!  They were always there for me, supporting me
in all of my decisions, and helping me make the right choices.  Especially
my mom, she was always trying to get me to succeed.  I thin she felt
betrayed when I finally became a success and then found out about my life
choice.  There wasn't any yelling or screaming, just a quiet turning away
which hurts far more.  Had they been angry, screaming and yelling, perhaps
they would have changed their minds once they had time to calm down.  They
weren't angry though, they were calm and collected and everything was made
very clear and final.  I miss them so much."
 His foot rubs my leg and I know that he is comforting me as much as he can
while we are in public.  I smile as I wipe at my eyes and refuse to cry.
He smiles when he sees that I am going to be o.k..
 "Lets go catch a movie!  I don't want to be all depressed all day.  What
do you say?"
 I ask as I down the rest of my tea.  He looks down at his cappuccino and
quickly drinks it.  We both stand and I throw some money on the table and
we walk out into the crowded streets of the city.  There is a breeze and
the smell that can only be described as New York.  It is not an unpleasant
smell, just unique.  Lance and I walk down the street talking and laughing
and just getting to know one another.
 As night descends we catch a cab back to the hotel.  We sit quietly in the
back of the car and watch as the city goes by.  I am amazed by the number
of people, and the anonymity it gives Lance and I.  I want to hold his hand
or kiss him or just put my arm around him, but I can't.  We both know we
have to be careful when in public, we like our careers after all.  I look
over at him and smile when I catch his eyes.  I feel wonderful, and I thin
I can see the same feeling dancing in his green eyes.
 We finally arrive at the hotel and Lance pays the cabbie.  We run into the
lobby and get in an elevator as fast as we can.  There are several other
people on the elevator with us and I want to scream.  I manage to control
myself and wait with outward calm for our floor.  We finally get there and
Lance and I practically run off, pushing everyone out of the way as we go.
I think I hear someone calling me a rather malicious name as the doors
close and Lance and I are alone on our floor.
 I don't see anyone in the hall way so I grab his hand and drag him to the
door to his room.  He is laughing as he fishes out his key card and we
finally stumble into the dark room.  I hear the door click and Lance's arms
are around me and I turn to kiss him.  It is wonderful and takes my breath
away.  More than that it takes my thoughts away...it is amazing what a
truly good kiss can do for you.  I sigh as we finally pull away from one
another and Lance flicks on the lights.
 "So, do you want to watch a movie?"  He asks as he kicks off his shoes and
pulls of his socks.  His pants follow leaving him very relaxed looking in
his boxer briefs and white t-shirt.  I smile at the sight.
 "Sure, why don't we get something funny something light hearted to match
the mood?"  I lose my shoes as fast as I can, but I do keep my pants.
Lance picks up the phone to call down and order a movie and a large pizza
and a couple bottle of Dr. Pepper.
 "Well, I hope that movie is o.k. with you.  I love it, I must have seen it
a million times."  He jumps on the bed, and throws a pillow at me.  I duck
and feel it whiz by my head.  I leap onto the bed and we immediately begin
to wrestle.
 The day has left us energized and full of life.  I feel like a little kid,
and I want to stay up all night just because I can.  A pillow smacks me up
side the head and I tumble to the floor with an audible thump.  I groan and
chuckle at the same time.  Lance is beside me immediately.
 "Are you o.k. JC??  I'm so sorry I didn't mean to...say something
already!"  He is sitting beside me on the floor as I slowly sit up and look
around the room.  I finally turn to his expectant face and lean over and
kiss him.
 "Well, I'm going to have to knock you around a little more if this is the
reward!"  Lance says as he stands and walks to the door to take the tray
from the bell hop.
 "Well, don't get used to it!  You just looked so cute all concerned and
wondering what my reaction would be.  I could not help myself."  The smell
of the pizza is amazing.  I am starved.
 We both grab several slices and pour a couple of large glasses of
Dr. Pepper and sit in the middle of the bed as close to each other as we
can.  It turns out my boy has great taste in movies.  Noises Off is the
funniest thing ever, and I would recommend it to anyone.  Besides, I love
Carol Burnette.  I look over to the clock and see that it is 12:30 and
suddenly yawn.  I am exhausted.
 "Stay here, with me tonight."
 I start to tell Lance that it is too soon, but I can't.  I want to stay.
 "O.k. I'll stay, but nothing is going to happen.  Lets just sleep in each
others arms and have wonderful dreams.  Is that o.k.?  Do you still want me
to stay?"
 "Yes, JC, I do.  I wasn't suggesting that we have wild passionate sex, it
is too soon for that.  I am not nearly ready, but I do want you to stay.  I
am not sure where this is all going to lead, but I am sure that I like it.
It should be an interesting ride."
 He pulls the covers down and I slip my pants off.  The lights are turned
out and we snuggle into bed toghether.  He kisses me once and wishes me
good night, and I do the same for him.  It is lovely and comfortable, and
perfect.  I slip off once I hear him snoring slightly and have the best
nights sleep in a long while.

*sigh* there it is part three.  Well, it looks like Lance and JC are going
to wind up together.  Kewl.  I hope to have Chris play a slightly larger
roll the next installment...all the other character, I think, are coming
along rather well.  Let me know what you think!!  Feedback people...so very
important.  LOL Well, I have early classes all week, but I hope to have the
next installment out by the weekend...Loves ya all, mean it.  DC