Date: Tue, 21 Dec 1999 01:13:22 -0600
From: Michael Ellis <michaelwashere@netzero.net>
Subject: The Studio in the Country, Part 5

THE STUDIO IN THE COUNTRY, Part 5
I'm sorry this one took so long. The installments are getting harder to
write for some reason.

DISCLAIMER: The story that follows is a work of fiction. Many characters
are completely fictional. Though some characters are based on actual
persons, they should not be considered accurate or truthful representations
of those persons. This story is not intended to reflect the behavior, work
habits, personal hygiene, sexual proclivities, or preferred style of
horseback riding saddle of any real person, living or dead.

WARNING: This story deals with homosexual themes. If this offends you, read
no further. If you are under 18 years of age, read no further. If accessing
this story causes you break any laws applicable to your location, read no
further. If you do not read English, how the Hell did you get this far?

FEEDBACK: If you want to contact me and make any comments, please send them
to michaelwashere@netzero.com. Many thanks to the five or six people who
have emailed me already. The response has all been positive so far. This
was fun before, when I was just writing this for myself, but now that I'm
getting email out of it, it's even more fun. And, especially for BOB IN
WEST CHESTER, there are an unusually high number of ellipses in this
chapter. Enjoy!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


THE STUDIO
Part 5 - Tuesday night

About half an hour later, I was opening the tack room when I heard the
crunch of footprints in the gravel driveway. I turned to see Kevin coming
toward me. He'd changed into jeans and a white T-shirt with a light blue
shirt thrown over it. I laughed when I saw how he was dressed. At first he
looked a bit confused until he noticed that I was dressed exactly the same
way, even down to the brown cowboy boots.

"Well, I guess great minds think alike," he finally said.

"Guess so," I replied, swinging open the tack room door. "I just hope the
horses can tell us apart." I stepped to one side to wave Kevin into the
room.

"They will," he said, passing inside. "I'm the tall one."

"And I'm the pretty one," I said following him into the tack room. The room
wasn't large, but it stored a lot of things. Six wooden stands, each
holding one saddle, were arrayed down the long wall across the
back. Various bridles and halters hung from nails in the beams overhead,
and the wall of shelves on the right were covered with curry combs,
brushes, and the many other things that we used for our horses.

"What's your preference?" I asked him. "Hunt seat or saddle seat?" Looking
at the six saddles, I added, "We have a couple of western saddles, too, but
they're not the most comfortable way to spend a couple of hours."

"I've never ridden on a hunt seat," he said, looking more closely at my
mother's small riding saddle.

"Let's take two saddle seats, then," I said. "I wasn't planning on our
jumping over anything this afternoon, anyway."

When we emerged from the tack room a couple of minutes later with our arms
full of equipment, Kevin asked, "So where are we going anyway?"

"Just around," I told him. "There's a nice path that goes around the
perimeter of the large pasture in front of the house. It's a nice ride, but
we'll be back in plenty of time for dinner." By this time, I'd opened the
barn door and we were inside.

At the mention of dinner, Kevin got a slight worried look on his face. "Are
you sure this is no problem? I know you have to get dinner."

"Don't worry about it," I reassured him as we stepped into one of the
stables and through it into the corral that adjoined the barn. The two
horses inside perked up when they saw us approaching.  "Everything's gonna
work out perfectly for dinner. Now, what do you think about riding Vanessa?
You and she seemed to get along well last night. Robby turned out all the
horses except Vanessa and Tico this morning, but we can get one of the
others if you'd rather."

Kevin shifted his tack so that he was holding the halter, blanket and
saddle in one hand. He reached up with the other hand to stroke Vanessa's
nose. "No, Vanessa and I will get along just fine today. Won't we, girl?"

A few minutes later we had each blanketed and saddled our respective
horses. Once I got Tico's halter on, I suggested to Kevin that we should
check each other's saddle. I was pretty sure that my saddle was secure, but
I wanted to check Kevin's. He seemed pretty knowledgeable, but I didn't
want to take any chances of an important client falling off one of our
horses.

But his saddle was secure and the cinch was just tight enough to hold it
secure without hurting Vanessa. I complimented him and offered to hold
Vanessa's halter while he mounted. Then I led Tico to the gate that led
onto the driveway. Once we were all outside, I closed the gate and mounted
up.

Waving to AJ and Stacey, who were still by the pool, we turned the horses
to the west and started down the hill.



"So, did you find Brian?" I asked him.

"What?" Evidently I'd interrupted Kevin's thoughts. "Oh, yeah. He was up in
his room."

"He's okay, isn't he?" I continued. "He and Nick were supposed to play the
little brothers at basketball."

"Yeah, he's okay. Just making some phone calls." He didn't sound completely
sincere, but I didn't press it.

Leaving the grassy area around the house, we rode past the tractor barn on
the opposite side of the driveway and stepped up to a gate. I dismounted
and opened it for us. Once I'd remounted, we walked our horses down the
path through the trees and out into a large, grassy field that was hidden
from the house by the stand of trees behind the barn.

The wild grasses were about knee-high on the horses. Though some of them
were still green, most of the slender stalks had been turned golden brown
or a pale greyish brown by the late summer heat. Some drying wild flowers
were still poking up, spots of white or yellow floating above the grass. A
few yellow butterflies flitted about, outnumbered by far by the thousands
of grasshoppers that leaped above the field.

A passing breeze sent a ripple across the field, like one lonely wave
toward a beach. The grasses made a simple whispering sound as they brushed
against each other in the wind, a sound that was picked up by the leaves
overhead as the wind reached us and the trees at the same time. Tico made a
slight neigh.

"Man, this is a big place!" Kevin said. "It must be great to get on a horse
and tear across this field."

"It would be," I replied, "except that we don't. There's too many gopher
holes hidden out there. If the horse stepped in one, it'd snap an
ankle. That's why we stay on the paths, even though we have all this room."

"Oh." Kevin sounded a little disappointed. I snapped Tico's halter lightly
and he began to walk down the path as it surrounded the field,
counterclockwise. Kevin and Vanessa followed.

"We can ride in the fields," I explained, "but only after they're mowed and
even then we go very slowly."

"Why do you mow the fields," Kevin asked. "Don't the cows graze out here."

"We mow it to make hay. In fact, we'll spend next week out here mowing and
baling."



For the next hour we rode around that pasture and the other pasture to the
south. Sometimes we would talk to each other, but mostly we rode in
silence. Kevin seemed content to just enjoy being on horseback and being in
the country.

Sometimes a worried look would cross his face, but he never said anything
about it. I left him alone to think.

In fact, I found myself thinking quite a bit too. Mostly I thought about
Mom and Robby encouraging me to get with one of these guys. And some of the
time I thought about that afternoon around the pool. I'd had a good time,
just hanging out with my brothers and these guys. But I'd have had to be
blind to not notice how good Kevin looked, wearing just a bathing suit and
dripping wet.

I stole a glance over at Kevin. He was looking ahead of himself, not really
looking at anything. Probably lost in thought. I let myself notice his high
cheekbones and square jaw. Quite a handsome face, really. I noticed his
square shoulders underneath his blue shirt and the strength of his thighs
as he gripped the horse's withers with his knees.

"Ben?" Kevin was talking to me, and had been for a few seconds, it seems.

"Uh, yeah, what?" was my stunningly intelligent reply.

He laughed a bit. "What are you staring at, bud?"

There, I thought. He caught me checking him out. While I was trying to
decide what to say, I was unexpectedly rescued by the insect world. I
noticed a grasshopper had jumped up and attached itself to Kevin's pant
leg.

"I was watching that grasshopper climb your leg," I said, "and wondering
how long it would take you to notice."

Kevin brushed the grasshopper off and kept talking. "I hope I haven't been
boring company. I haven't said much since we left the house."

"I don't mind," I told him. "I like the quiet of being out here."

"I do too," he said, glancing around at the few trees along the fence on
our right. We'd gone halfway around the second pasture by then and were
riding along the fence that separated this pasture from a little country
road. "This is a really relaxing place."

"I was afraid you'd be bored out here. I hear that you guys like to go out
dancing and clubbing. There's none of that around here."

"We do a lot of that," he admitted, "when we're not exhausted from
working. But sometimes it's nice to just relax and think for a while."

"You've been thinking a lot today," I said. "I hope nothing's wrong."

Kevin glanced over at me, a little quickly. I was looking back with what I
hoped was an open, non-judgmental expression on my face. I guess it was,
because Kevin visibly relaxed a bit on seeing it. "No," he said, "nothing's
wrong. I just have some things on my mind."

"Anything you wanna talk about?"

He looked up at me for maybe half a minute before saying, "Nah. That's all
right."

"'sorry, Kevin. I'm not trying to be nosy. 'guess it's the 'big brother'
genes kicking in."

He smiled at me -- God, what a great smile! -- and said, "I understand. I
do a lot of that too."

We talked a while about the job of "big brother." For me, that was a
genuine position, but of course my brothers and I had our parents around
all the time. Sure there were times when they'd come to me about something
-- Mike especially -- but the parents were always there. Kevin wasn't
actually the guys' older brother, but he'd taken on the role being the
oldest. And each of the guys had their own parents but usually it was just
the five of them and various management people around. So Kevin took the
"big brother" role very seriously.

During the conversation, I heard a couple more stories of stupid things the
other guys had done, more things to tease them about during dinner. Then we
passed from under the trees and found ourselves near the point in the
gravel road where it split, one fork going to the house and the other
leading to the parking lot outside the studio. We followed the driveway to
the parking lot, then past the studio to curve east toward the barn.

The sky in the east was already getting darker, and the western sky was
beginning to turn pink and orange as the sun began to set. The land here is
pretty flat, and I know a lot of people hate it. But I like the openness of
it. And our sunsets and sunrises last for hours because the horizon is so
broad.

We reached the barn. In a few minutes, we'd returned Vanessa and Tico to
the corral. We brushed both horses and I checked the water in their trough,
before Kevin and I carried the equipment back to the tack room. After
closing its door behind us, we started walking toward the house. I checked
my watch. "Dinner's in about an hour," I told Kevin. "I should grab a quick
shower and head to the kitchen."

"Yeah, I wanna get a shower too," Kevin said. "Thanks for taking me out
today."

"Sure thing, bud," I told him. "It was fun."

He laughed. "Even though you went riding with a mute."

"You weren't mute," I told him. "You were just quiet. It was relaxing."
We'd reached the corner of the patio by the gym. After Kevin and I shared
the obligatory man-to-man handshake, I turned to go in through the den as
Kevin headed across the patio to the hotel doors.




My shower wasn't that quick. Once I was under the spray I couldn't get the
mental picture of Kevin's body, lean and strong and dripping wet in the
sunlight, out of my head. Eventually, I stopped trying to and just let my
mind and my hands take what inspiration they could from the image.

It was maybe half an hour later when I got to the kitchen. Robby was
already setting the table, and Mom was busy putting the various sides into
dishes presentable enough for the table.

"Hi, honey," she said. "Did you and Kevin have a good time?"

I was on my way to the oven by then, but I stopped long enough to plant a
quick kiss on her forehead. "I think so. It was relaxing, but we didn't
talk very much."

"Well, there's a lot to be said about comfortable silences, too," she
replied.

I opened the oven and took out the barbecued brisket. I turned to see Mom
laying a couple of towels flat on the kitchen island. I smiled at her and
set the pan onto them. "I don't know how 'comfortable' it was," I
continued. "Kevin seemed kinda preoccupied with something."

"Everything's okay, isn't it?"

"As far as I know," I told her. "Maybe it's nothing; maybe it's personal. I
don't think they're having any problems in the studio," I continued,
guessing that she was worried about the guys working in our studio. "Except
that Brian evidently has to re-do some vocals tomorrow."

"Yeah," Robby said as he entered from the dining room. "You should have
heard him this morning. He made the same mistake, like, twelve times this
morning!" Robby began to set drink glasses onto a tray.

"Maybe Brian has the problem, and Kevin is worried about him," Mom
suggested.

"Maybe," I said. "They are cousins, and they're supposed to be pretty
close."



Dinner was on the table at 7:00, but most of the people had been there
before that. Howie had shone up about twenty minutes early and came into
the kitchen to offer to help. I had just smiled at him, but Mom smiled then
put him to work carrying dishes out to the table.

"Mom, you know he's just being friendly," I whispered to her after Howie
had carried a salad out to the table.

"I know," she said, "but if he's going to offer to help, I'm going to take
him up on it."

Once everyone was seated and began eating, the conversation was a lot
livelier and more animated than the night before. I took that as a sign
that everyone was more relaxed. The two exceptions to this were Brian and
Mike. Brian was again sitting on my right, with Kevin on my left. I could
tell that Brian was listening to the other conversations, but he didn't
have much to say himself. Mike wasn't talking either. In fact, he didn't
even really eat that much. He was picking at his food absently, and his
eyelids were heavy like he was dozing off while eating.

Brian, I decided, probably wouldn't want me to intrude into his thoughts,
but I had to find out what was up with Mike.

As I passed the bread down to Nick, I asked, "Mike, are you okay? You look
like you're half asleep."

Mom, Nick, and Kevin all looked at Mike. Mike looked up at me. On my right,
I heard Robby chuckle.

"I'm just tired," Mike said. "Swimming and basketball wore me out."

"Go on," Robby prodded him.

"Go on with what?" Mom said cooly, still looking at Mike.

"I found out why Mike was so silly this afternoon," Robby said. "He and
Nick ate a half gallon of ice cream before they went swimming. Mike was on
a sugar high."

"Now it looks like he's hit a sugar low," Dad said, his voice slightly
amused.

Mike smiled weakly. "Michael," Mom said, "it's not funny. You know better
than to eat like that."

"I don't get it," Nick said. "It was just ice cream."

"Mike's hypoglycemic," I told him. "Sugar makes him crazy, then it makes
him comatose."

"Is that like diabetes?" Howie asked.

"No, it's not that serious," Mike said.

"But it can turn into diabetes," Mom explained, talking to Howie but
looking at Mike, "especially if a person isn't careful about what they
eat."

Mike looked over at her. "'sorry, Mom," he said.

"Michael, you did a foolish thing. Let's not hear anymore about it." She
smiled affectionately at him, and he smiled back. I smiled too. Mike was
always going to be Mom's baby boy. I could barely hear it when Mom leaned
over toward him and added, "But if you do it again, I'll cut your hair with
a weed eater."



"Where's Stacey?" AJ asked, looking at the empty chair between him and
Howie.

"She went home," Dad explained. "She said something about having things to
do tonight."

Robby laughed again. "Yeah, she's busy treating her sunburn so she won't
glow in the morning when she comes to work."

The guys and I laughed. Howie said to Robby, "Aren't anyone's secrets safe
with you?"

We laughed again. When I turned to look at Robby, I noticed Brian giving
him an odd look.

"So, Dave," Kevin began, "what time do you want us in the studio in the
morning?"

Dave was chewing when Kevin asked. He nodded at Kevin, chewed faster, and
waved his fork in little circles to pass the time until he could swallow
and answer. "Sleep in a little," he said finally. "We'll need Brian about
9:00, and the rest about 10:00."

I kind of halfway expected the guys to tease Brian about messing up, but no
one did. I was inwardly afraid that Robby might tease him, so I decided to
get into the conversation before my brother could. "You by yourself, huh?"
I said to Brian, trying to sound friendly. "I guess all those Web sites
were right."

"What Web sites?" Kevin asked.

I looked down at my plate and tried to sound very casual as I said, "Oh,
the ones that say Brian is the most important Backstreet Boy. They say he's
the real talent and the rest of you are just there to dance around him." I
looked up to see Kevin, Howie, and AJ smiling at me.

"No way," AJ said with a grin. At the same time, Howie said, "That's just
not right," and just a half second later I heard Nick say, "Are you sure
they weren't talking about me?"

Mike laughed. "Yeah, lots of people spell Nick 'B-r-i-a-n'." Most people
laughed at this.

"These boys are a team," Ms. Shaw said.

"We really are," Kevin said. "We're all equal. We need everybody, or it
wouldn't work."

"I know that, Kevin," I smiled at him. "I'd pretty much figured that out on
the ride in from the airport."

"Though some of us do get more fan mail," Nick added quietly from Kevin's
other side. What followed sounded a lot like Kevin kicking him under the
table, but I could be wrong.

"So, you look at Web sites about us?" Howie asked, changing the subject.

"We looked at some of them when we heard you were coming," Robby told
him. "We wanted to find out more about you."

"Y'know, favourite foods and things like that," I added.

"Learn anything interesting?" AJ asked with a sly grin.

"Well, I learned that Brian is afraid of heights..."

"I am," Brian said quietly.

"...that Kevin likes to sleep late..."

"I do," Kevin said.

"...and that AJ is a notorious flirt."

"He is," everyone at the table said. AJ blushed a little but he had a huge
grin on his face.



Dinner broke up about 8. Most of the guys scattered, but Howie and Robby
stayed around to help clear away the dishes.

At one point Howie was in the dining room alone and I was about to return
to the dining room but Robby stopped me at the door. "Dude, what's up with
Brian?" he asked me quietly.

"I was going to ask you," I said. "He gave you a weird look when Howie
asked if you could keep secrets. I thought maybe you knew something."

"I don't," he said, "but you didn't see the way he looked when Kevin said
that about them being a team and needing everybody to make the group
work. Brian relaxed like someone had taken a piano off his head or
something. What's up with that?"

"You know as much as I do," I told him.

"I thought maybe he'd said something to you last night. I know you guys
stayed up late talking."

"Nah, he seemed okay then." I thought about how Brian had acted the night
before. He'd seemed pretty relaxed, but how would I know? I just met him
yesterday. But I did remember something that had happened that
afternoon. "And, by the way, what's with telling me to 'go for it' with
Howie?"

Robby smiled. "I'm starting to think he likes you. He hangs around you
whenever he can, and AJ tells me Howie hates to do dishes."

"He's just being nice," I argued.

"Yeah, he's just being nice," Robby said, picking up a damp towel to wipe
down the table, "but why?" He walked out of the kitchen, letting the
question hang.

I started the washing up while Robby and Howie brought everything in from
the kitchen. Once the dining room was clean, Howie stayed in the kitchen to
help me wash. We could hear Robby vacuuming the dining room while we
worked.

"Good dinner," Howie said.

"Thanks," I replied. "We do the work, but they're all Mom's recipes."

"But you've got to be a good cook to follow a recipe. Me, I ruin microwave
popcorn."

I laughed. "Mom taught us to cook. And she used to make us eat whatever we
cooked, so we learned to be careful." I heard Robby come into the kitchen,
so I added, "Even Robby can cook a little, but he's not very good."

"Ha!" Robby said. "Just wait 'til tomorrow, Howie. I'll show you some real
cooking."

"Before you get too cocky," I told him, "check the menu for tomorrow. Roast
chicken for dinner."

"No, Mom changed her mind," Robby said. "Since the weather is supposed to
be sunny again, we're having a cookout by the pool. Mike gets to do the
roast chicken."

I shook my head. "I get baked flounder and barbecue brisket, and you get
hamburgers on the grill. There is no justice."

"It gets worse," Robby said, jumping up to sit on the kitchen island. "Mike
has to go to the grocery store in the morning, so you get to do all the
rooms."

"You clean the rooms?" Howie asked.

"Yeah," I told him. As I handed him two more glasses for the dishwasher, I
decided to tease him a bit. "That's how I know something the Web sites
don't know."

"What's that?"

"Well, they all seem to think you guys wear boxers. But I know you and Nick
wear briefs." Fortunately, the glass he dropped didn't break.

I heard Robby hop down from the island. "I'll let you two finish *doing the
dishes*," he said, emphasizing the last three words for me. "I'm gonna go
set up the studio. The girls'll be here soon."

Howie and I made small talk as we finished loading the dishwasher then
washing the larger pots by hand. He asked about my ride with Kevin, saying
that maybe he'd go with us if we went out again. I told him that I'd be
glad to ride with him anytime, even if Kevin didn't go.

I was tempted to ask him about Brian's mood, but I decided against it.




It was about 8:30 when Howie and I left the kitchen and made out way down
the corridor to the studio workroom. Turning left, we could see that the
hallway that connected the two studios and their booths was dark, but light
shone out from the windows of the smaller studio.

Coming down the dark hall, Howie and I passed the four large windows on our
way to the studio door. The room was 30 feet square, with light coloured
carpet on the floor and white acoustic tile on all the walls. Mike's trap
set and the other instruments were pushed back into a corner, except for
one electric keyboard, which Kevin was playing on while Nick, Brian, and
Dave watched. AJ was attaching a cord to a single mike on a stand in the
center of the room. Robby was in the booth, yelling instructions through
the open connecting door.

"Okay, I'm getting the feed now, AJ. Say something so I can check the
levels."

AJ decided to be cute. He looked over at the guys at the keyboard and
started singing, "You're all I've ever wanted..."

"Ugh!" Nick yelled. "Give me something to throw!"

Kevin and Brian just laughed. "I knew it!" Howie said as we entered the
room. "I knew you were a closet 'NSYNC fan!"

AJ pretended to hide his face in his hands. "Oh, the shame of it all."
Everyone laughed along.

"Where's this music?" I asked my brother.

"On the keyboard," Robby yelled. "Kevin's playing it."

I crossed to the keyboard and picked up the loose sheets of manuscript. It
looked pretty straightforward: lots of rich chords in the three vocals with
a pretty simple piano line underneath. "This should be pretty easy," I
yelled in to Robby. "Are you sure you want to do it on the electric
keyboard?"

Robby stepped into the studio. "Do you thing the piano would sound better?"

"Maybe," I answered. "Let's try it on the keyboard and see how it sounds."

"Here," Kevin said, standing up so I could sit down. After arranging the
sheets on the stand, I started playing. The piano part was chord-heavy at
first, but it got lighter once the vocal lines came in.

While I was playing, I heard the phone in the booth ring. Watching through
the window, I saw Robby answer it. He talked for a few seconds then punched
some numbers. I guessed the girls were here, calling from the gate, which
Robby opened with the remote code in the phone.

The structure of the song was simple: two verses with the same refrain at
the end of each, the intro repeating at the end. The second verse was
virtually identical to the first, so I played one verse and refrain and
stopped.

" 'Sounds good," AJ said.

"You've never played that before?" Kevin asked.

"No, but it'll get better after I've been through it a couple of times," I
told him.

"It's already good," Kevin said. "You sightread really well."

"Thanks," I said to him. "Robby, the girls are gonna want this to sound as
country as possible, and it's already got a kinda church revival/honky-tonk
sound to it. I think we should use the real piano."

Robby considered the idea. "Let's push one out here and give it a try."



Kevin and AJ helped Robby and I push the covered piano away from the wall
and into the middle of the room. While we were doing that, Howie gathered
up the sheet music. At some point during the moving, we heard a knocking on
the studio's outside door. Before anyone could say anything, Nick yelled,
"I'll get it" and ran down the hall.

"The girls are here," Robby said. "That was them on the phone."

Kevin and AJ grinned at each other. AJ said "5, 4, 3, 2..." Before he got
to "1" we heard squealing from the office. "Well, they recognized Nick," AJ
said, laughing.

Nick came down the hall with three girls in their early 20s and one guy
about the same age. I knew all the girls, but I'd never seen the guy
before. Robby met them at the door. "I see you met Nick," he laughed. They
all laughed and one of the girls, Caroline, blushed, so I guess we know who
squealed.

Once we were all in the studio, Robby introduced the guys to Jennifer, Amy,
and Caroline. He explained that he'd gone to school with Jennifer and
Amy. When they started a singing group with Caroline, he'd helped them out
by playing guitar for them and helping them make some recordings.

Then Amy introduced Alan -- the guy I didn't recognize -- as her
boyfriend. "He came to play the piano," she said, "in case Ben couldn't do
it."

"Oh, Ben can do it," Howie said. "It sounds really good." He smiled at me,
but he didn't notice Robby grinning behind him. I looked around to see if
anyone else did, but the guys were mostly looking at me.

"Then you don't need me," Alan said, smiling at Amy.

"I always need you," Amy said, putting her hands on her shoulders and
giving him a quick kiss. "You don't mind if Ben plays, do you?"

"No, not at all" Alan said. "I'll just listen."

"What's with the two keyboards?" Jennifer said, noticing that we had both
an acoustic and electric piano.

"I tried it on the electric first," I told her, "but I think it would sound
better on a real piano."

"Yeah," Jennifer said nodding. "It'll sound more country that way."

"It's a pretty song," Kevin said. "The vocals are really close harmony. I
bet it was hard to learn."

"It was," Caroline said, tilting her head and smiling shyly up at him. "We
had to go through it over and over until we got it down."

"Well, let's hear it," Robby said. "We're not getting anything done by
talking about it."

Dave laughed. "Kid, you sound like a producer already. You want us to stay
here or go into the booth."

"I wanna play it a couple of times through with the girls singing before
you record anything," I said, talking as much to Jennifer and Robby as to
Dave. "Everybody can just stay in here while we do that, I guess."

"Go for it," Robby said.



After everyone was settled, Robby, Kevin and Dave were in the booth,
listening through the microphone feed. The girls stood in a half circle
around the microphone, turned slightly to see both me and the booth
window. Nick, AJ and Howie sat in chairs against the wall, with Alan and
Brian sitting on the floor nearby with their backs against the wall.

I started the song, and the girls came in more or less on cue. The harmony
of their voices was really good. I'd heard them before, but I think the
guys were surprised at how good they sounded. They knew the song well, but
they were a little shaky on some of the chords in the refrain. Mostly
Caroline, but every time she messed up, she'd smile shyly at Kevin.

When we finished, I asked them quietly, "Are these guys making you
nervous?"

Before they could answer, Kevin came out of the booth and said, "That
sounded great, but I think maybe we're making you nervous."

Caroline and Amy giggled a little, and Jennifer said, "Maybe a little. But
we'll get over it. We've sung in front of bigger crowds before, and I'm
pretty sure you aren't gonna throw any beer bottles at us."

"I don't even have a beer bottle," AJ said.

"And I'm not allowed to drink beer," Nick added.

Caroline was still looking at Kevin. "We're not that nervous," she told
him. "We're just warming up. It'll get better I promise."

"Let's do it again," I said. Kevin and AJ went into the booth while I asked
the girls about the tempo and my volume. We talked a bit about my following
them as opposed to leading. When we were ready to start again, Jennifer
waved at Robby.



The second time through was much better, though we did stop four or five
times to iron out specific parts. After the third time, Robby announced
over the intercom that he thought we were ready to record. Nick, Brian,
Howie and Alan went into the booth with the others.

We recorded it once all the way through. Then Robby started telling us over
the intercom how it sounded on the recording and making suggestions, and we
began again to work on the song in pieces, ironing out various things. It
was during this process that Dave stood up and stepped into the
studio. "Good night, ladies. It was nice meeting you, and I really like
your sound. When I hear you on the radio, I'll tell everyone that I knew
you before you were famous."

After Dave was gone, I noticed that Brian had left the booth too without
saying anything.



We spent maybe half an hour working through the song, then we recorded it
three more times before Robby announced that he was happy with it. He and
the other guys came out of the booth, and Robby held a small DAT cassette
in his hand. "This is it," he said. "I'll burn this and the other songs on
CDs tomorrow night. You can pick them up Thursday night."

The girls got real excited and started hugging each other. Amy ran over to
Alan and hugged him. Caroline grabbed Kevin and hugged him. AJ and Jennifer
laughed at her for a second, as Caroline realized what she'd done and
recoiled a bit. Kevin just smiled at her.

Now that the work was done, we could relax a bit. For about an hour we just
sat around the studio talking. Everyone got along well. Alan turned out to
be a nice guy, even though he spent most of his time whispering to Amy, who
sat on the floor in front of him and leaned back against his chest.

AJ and Jennifer spent a lot of time talking, and Caroline and Kevin seemed
to get along really well. Caroline seemed to have calmed down about talking
to *the* Backstreet Boys and was really funny and charming. Nick and Howie
sat near me at the piano.

Occasionally I would play something and we would all sing. Jennifer and
Caroline knew the words to a lot of Backstreet Boys songs, so I played some
of them using the various tones on the electronic keyboard to simulate the
actual song. Kevin and Nick didn't believe me that I could pick out the
chords to pretty much anything I'd heard a couple of times, so they tested
me with songs until they were convinced. I even played "I Want You Back,"
and we made AJ sing the whole thing this time.

"Well, guys, this has been fun," Jennifer said after a long time, "but I
have to get to work tomorrow morning."

"So do I," Amy said, sounding very sleepy. I was beginning to be sleepy
myself, and I was glad that Robby had to do breakfast in the morning so I
could sleep in.

"C'mon then," I said. "Let's get everything put away so the girls can go
home."




When everything was shut down and put away, we started back up the hall
toward the studio offices. When we got there, there was more trading back
and forth of "You guys were great" and "It was really nice to meet you."
Nick, Howie and Kevin said their good nights and turned to go up to their
rooms. Robby, AJ and I walked the girls and Alan out to their car.

The night was warm and clear. The parking lot outside the office was lit
only by one small lamp on a pole near the driveway. Its pale, yellowish
glow was enough to get us safely to Jennifer's car, but it wasn't bright
enough to interfere with the millions of stars overhead. There are a lot of
great things about living in the country, but the night sky is one of my
favourites.

"Whoa!" AJ said, taking in the stars for the first time. "What a view!"

"And we get it out here all the time," Jennifer teased him a little. "You
city boys don't get to see all these stars. Cities are never dark enough."

"AJ, doesn't need to see stars," Robby replied. "AJ *is* a star."

Most of us chuckled at Robby's teasing. AJ just laughed a bit, then said,
"And don't you forget, country boy."

We stood a few minutes enjoying the beautiful night, and each other's
company, and the nice feeling of having done good work together. Robby and
I reminded Alan and the girls how important it was that they not tell
people that the Backstreet Boys were at our place. The small talk lasted
until Amy yawned. Alan wrapped his arm around her and said they really
should be going. We said our good nights before they climbed into the car
and Jennifer drove them away. As we watched the taillights disappear down
the hill, AJ asked if we'd be doing any more recording that week.

Robby and I grinned at each other. "We don't have any plans to," Robby told
him. "But when our brother gets here Saturday, we could invite Jennifer to
drop by. Just to see him, y'know."

AJ took his real meaning and smiled. "And Caroline too. Kevin seemed to
really like her."

"Sure," I said. "We'll make a little party out of it."

We turned back toward the studio door, me slightly behind the other two. I
was a few steps from the door when I heard a noise on the gravel. It turned
out to be Rex and Regina coming around the corner of the studio to
investigate the noise of the car driving away. As I started toward the two
dogs, Robby asked, "You coming in?" He was inside already, holding the door
open and leaning out to look at me. AJ was just a dark shape in the office
behind him.

"Not just yet," I told him, walking toward the corner of the building where
the two dogs stood, staring at us. "But don't lock me out," I added.

Robby grinned wide. "Why, the thought never occurred to me."

"Yeah, I bet." I returned his grin. "I'll turn on the alarm when I come
in. G'night, little brother."

"G'night, bro."

"Night, Ben," I heard AJ say as Robby closed the door.

For a couple of minutes I knelt and petted the dogs. Regina rolled onto her
back so that I could scratch her belly. Rex butted at me with his nose and
tried to lick my face. As fond as I am of them both, I've always hated dogs
licking my face. Every time he tried, I would turn my head to avoid him. I
kept my face dry that way, but my neck got soaked.

Maybe a minute later, I stood up. "Well, that's enough of that," I told
them. "I'm going to bed. You guys keep everybody safe tonight, okay?"

I was about to step back around the corner toward the door when I heard a
voice say quietly, "You were good tonight." It took me a few seconds to
recognize it as Brian's voice, and then a few more to place it. He was
overhead, sitting on the balcony of his room.

I stepped onto the grass and crossed most of the forty feet to stand under
his balcony. "Thanks," I said. "Did you listen for very long?"

"Long enough to hear how good you are," he said. "Have you ever thought of
playing professionally?" It was hard to see his face in the dim light, but
his voice sounded soft and tired.

I tried to sound friendly when I spoke again. "I did play professionally,"
I said, grinning.

"I don't mean in a piano bar," he said. "You'd make a great studio player."

"Well, thanks." I really felt the compliment in his opinion. "But I don't
think being a musician is my real ambition in life."

"What is your ambition in life?" he asked.

People always ask that like it's a simple thing -- and it is for lots of
people, I guess -- but I never know what to say. Usually I avoid having to
answer, and if I have no choice I respond with some weak joke. One weak
joke coming up, I thought.

"Well, right now, my main ambition is to get to bed. It's been a long day."

There was a second or two of silence from overhead. A warm wind came around
the house and brushed the leaves of the small tree at the corner near
Brian's balcony.

"Yeah, I guess it has been," Brian said at last. "I forgot that you had to
get breakfast this morning. 'sorry to be keeping you up, Ben."

"Oh, that's no big deal," I replied, maybe a little too quickly. "Like I
told you last night, I *like* talking to you. I just really need to get
some sleep."

"I understand," he said simply. "G'night, Ben."

"G'night, Brian." I turned to walk away, adding, "Don't stay up too late,
guy. You have to work in the morning." I regretted saying it as soon as the
words were out. Brian was pretty obviously unhappy about something, and I'd
probably just brought up the very thing.

Or maybe not. The emotions in his voice hadn't changed when he said, "I
know."

I stopped walking and turned back to face him. Deciding to be a little
bold, I asked, "Brian, I know it's none of my business, but are you okay?"

I heard a slight exhalation from him. "Yeah, I'm okay," he said. His voice
was flat and unconvincing, like he'd said it more out of habit than
conviction. I watched him a moment, a subtle silhouette in front of the
curtain and sliding glass door that separated him from his
suite. Remembering that he'd said he found me easy to talk to too, I
decided to be a little bolder.

"Well, I don't believe you." I paused just a second before adding, "but I
won't push it. But if you need someone to talk to, someone who has nothing
to do with your life, you know where I live."

Another exhalation. I imagined this one accompanying a slight smile. "Yeah,
I know where you live."

"I'm good at listening; I don't give unasked-for advice, and I know how to
keep my mouth shut. Come find me if you need to, bud. Anytime."

There was another silence from above before Brian said, "I may do that,
Ben. Thanks." His voice sounded a little warmer than before.

Deciding that I would have to be satisfied with this much, I said "good
night" again.

"G'night, Ben," he said.

I turned away and walked back to the office door. Just before I opened it,
I think I heard Brian open the sliding door and go inside his rooms.