Date: Sat, 16 Sep 2000 14:04:14 -0700 (PDT)
From: Colleen H <reader_colleen@yahoo.com>
Subject: Tears In Your Eyes Chapter 14

**********
DISCLAIMER:  The guys from *NSync aren't gay to the best of my knowledge.
This story is FAN FICTION, meaning IT IS NOT REAL.  I don't know them,
either.  Capishe?  Good.

Thanks to Joey, Red, Becca M, Wen, Sammy, and everyone else who's sent me
feedback on this story.  I love hearing from you guys!

Reccomendations:  "Busta" (as always), "Lance-N-JC", "My Surprise Romance",
"Millennium Love", "This I Promise You", and in general, every story on
this archive!  =-)
**********

Chapter 14: A Film Without Sound

	"Josh, you want to go out for dinner with us?" Kevin's voice
greeted JC over the phone at about 6 o'clock that night.  JC sighed.  He
was tired and didn't really feel up to going out.

	"I don't know, Kev.  I need my sleep, you know."

	"You sleep so much!"

	"I know but I'm REALLY tired..."

	"Come on, Josh... *please*?"

	"You know I can't refuse that voice, Kev.  I'll call the others and
ask, K?  Give me five minutes to make the calls."

	"Gotcha."  They hung up their respective phones, and JC called
Justin's room.  There was no answer, causing JC to frown before shrugging.
He disconnected, and then quickly called Lance and Joey.

	"Hey, lovebirds," JC greeted Joey after the phone was picked up.
"Kevin wants to know if we'll go out for dinner with the guys from
Backstreet."  JC heard Joey put his hand over the phone for a moment and JC
heard some muffled talking.  It sounded like Joey and Lance were argueing
about something, but Joey soon uncovered the phone again, a decision
reached.

	"Does Kevin realize..."

	"I think he wants to do it so he can gauge reactions.  Nicky
knows-Chris told him earlier while the two of them were playing
basketball-and I think Kev wants to see how the others will react."

	"How do you know Chris said anything?"

	"Chris asked me before he met Nick earlier, why?  What's wrong?"

	"Nothing," Joey said, and sighed heavily.  "I don't like it, Josh,
but Lance says he wants to go, so..."

	"Have you guys seen Justin, by the way?" JC asked, remembering.

	"No, why?"

	"I called his room right before I called you and he didn't answer."
On the other end, Joey got up and knocked on the connecting door.  No
answer again.  When he tried the door, he found it was locked.

	"Josh, I don't think he's in his room."  Joey's voice was
deliberate, thinking about the last time this had happened.  JC felt it
too, because he felt a sense of dread overcome him and began to
hyperventilate.

	"Josh, we'll be right there," Joey yelled, dropping the phone and
dragging Lance out of bed.

	"What the?"

	"Justin's missing."

	"Oh, my God..."  Lance threw some clothes on and they tore across
the hall where JC sat on his bed, already hysterical.

	"Josh, relax," Joey tried to sooth him.  He turned to Lance.  "Call
Chris and get him here ASAP."  Lance flew to the phone, leaving Joey to
calm JC down.

	"Kevin," JC finally choked out.

	"What?"

	"Call Kevin and tell him."  Joey grabbed JC's cell and dialled the
number.

	"Hi, JC," Kevin said, reading the display.

	"It's me," Joey's voice responded.

	"Joey, what's wrong?"

	"Justin's missing."

	"Fuck!" Kevin yelled, startling Nick and Brian, who were in his
room with him.  They were just waiting for AJ and Howie to arrive.  Those
two had been spending more and more time apart from the rest of the band,
which was really making Kevin wonder what was going on.

	"What?"  Brian and Nick exclaimed as one.

	"Nicky, check AJ's room.  Brian, go to Howie's.  See what the hell
is keeping them!"  Frightened, they both quickly obeyed.  They weren't used
to seeing this side of Kevin, and they knew better than to talk back when
he got like this.

	"Kev?" It was JC's voice this time.

	"Josh, I sent Brian and Nicky to check up here.  We'll find him,
Josh.  I promise."

	"It's my fault, Kevin..."  JC's voice was small and sad, driving a
wedge of terror into Kevin's heart.

	"Why do you say that?"

	"I talked to JoBeth.  I told her what he did to me and Lance.  It's
because of me that he's hurting Justin."

	"Shit, JC, stop it!  It's not your fault!  When Nick and Bri get
back we are coming downstairs, got it?"  A tiny voice answered in the
affirmative so Kevin sighed.  "JC, put Joey back on for a second."

	"I'm sorry..."  There was the sound of the phone exchanging hands.

	"Kev, please find him," Joey pleaded.  "I don't think Josh can
surivive this waiting much longer."

	"Where's Lance?"

	"He and Chris just walked in the room," Joey said before covering
the phone.  "Chris, why don't you take JC to the bedroom and put him to
bed?  Thanks, Chris..."  There was a long pause before Joey spoke again.
"Lance!"

	"Yeah?"

	"Go hide all the medication and stuff in the bathrooms.  As of
right now, I don't want JC left alone AT ANY TIME, understood?  I don't
want to give him any chances to try anything."

	"Is that really neccessary, Joey?" Kevin asked, hearing every word
and growing more and more concerned.

	"Kevin, you saw what he did to himself after Lance was raped, and
if it happened to Justin..."

	"God, I never thought about that."  Just then, Kevin's attention
was turned elsewhere.

	"No luck, Kev," Brian gasped, having run all the way to Howie's
room and back.  "He's not in his room."

	"AJ's not in his, either," Nick said, trying to catch his breath.
He, too, had run to the room he was asked to check and back.

	"We're going downstairs.  Joey just put JC on suicide watch."

	"Shit!" Nick and Brian both yelled.

	"Joey, we're on our way," Kevin said, then was gone.  Joey turned
to helping Lance remove anything JC could possibly use to kill himself with
before there was a knock on the door.  Joey opened it to find Kevin, Brian
and Nick standing there, panicked.  Brian pushed past Joey to join Chris,
who was still sitting with JC while Kevin and Nick stayed back to talk to
Lance and Joey.

	"What happened?"

	"Josh called us after you called him, and asked if we knew where
Justin was.  He had called and got no answer, so I knocked on the door
between Lance's room and J's.  I didn't get an answer, either, which is
when JC started to freak."

	"He said something about it being his fault, Joe."

	"I know!  That's why I put him on the suicide watch.  I know if
given the chance, he will try to kill himself.  I'm terrified he'll succeed
this time, Kev."

	"Joey, we won't let him," Kevin said, pulling Joey into a hug.
Lance wrapped his arms around the both of them, offering silent comfort.
Suddenly, JC's cell phone rang.

	"Hello, JC's phone," Lance said after he answered it since he was
the closest to it.  There was silence.  "Hello?"

	"Lance?" a small voice asked.  Lance shrieked, drawing everyone's
attention to him.

	"Justin!  Where are you!"  JC jumped out of bed in the next room
and grabbed the phone away from Lance.

	"Justin... God, Justin, I was so worried... where are you?"

	"I'm in my room, why?"  Justin's voice sounded stronger this time.

	"Why the hell weren't you answering your phone?" JC allowed his
anger to overcome his relief.

	"I was sleeping!"

	"Justin, even you don't sleep that deeply."

	"Well, I was.  Now, what the hell is going on in your room?  I can
hear you guys from here!  All that yelling woke me up!"

	"I got worried because you weren't answering your phone and that
brought everyone running."

	"You got worried?"

	"After what happened to Lance..."

	"Oh, Josh!" Justin exclaimed, realizing what his best friend was
going through.  "I honestly never heard the phone ringing!  I guess I was
really tired or something."

	"Don't worry about it.  As long as I know you're OK..."

	"I'm fine, Josh," Justin said firmly.  JC frowned slightly.  There
was something in Justin's voice that he didn't quite like.

	"You sure?"

	"Yeah.  I promise- I'm fine.  I'll even come over in half an hour
and prove it to you."  JC agreed grudgingly and hung up.  Justin lay in his
bed for a while, thinking.  He had woken up on the floor with a large bump
on his head.  He glanced around and saw a discarded shoe that he must have
tripped over, causing him to fall and hit his head on something.  He shook
his head, mentally kicking himself for being so messy before his mind
turned back to the nightmare he had been woken from.

	*My God that nightmare was realistic,* he thought.  *I could have
sworn he was actually in here with me, raping me.  I'm glad the noise woke
me up... God knows what I would have dreamed about if I had have stayed
asleep for much longer.  God knows what I would have DONE if that dream
went further.  I know how JC and Lance feel now, even if it hasn't
physically happened to me.  How could they have survived that?* Justin
sighed heavily and got up slowly.  He could almost *feel* the pain of
being... violated.  He shook his head again and got in the shower, feeling
a little more sympathetic towards both JC and Lance.

*****

	"Justin, what happened earlier?" Nick asked later that night during
dinner.  After great debate, the group had chosen the Hard Rock Caf^Â
for their dinner.  JC was happier than a pig in mud, and Justin laughed
seeing his friend so happy.  Nick's question brought Justin back to earth.

	"I must have been in a really deep sleep," Justin said.  "I didn't
hear the phone ringing, or Joey's knocking.  The only reason I know he
knocked is because he told me on the way here."

	"But *what* happened?  I mean, you usually don't sleep that
deeply."

	"What does it matter?" Justin cringed at how harsh his voice
sounded.  "I'm sorry, Nicky.  I just didn't sleep very well."

	"Don't worry about it," Nick said cheerfully.  Justin laughed at
how Nick could stay upbeat even when someone yelled at him.

	"Joey, stop it!" Lance interrupted the conversation suddenly.
Everyone looked at the couple, who were trying to fade into the booth.  It
wasn't working, as Lance had a very visible, bright red mark on his neck,
just above the neckline of his T-Shirt.

	"What's going on?" Kevin asked, going into father-mode.  Lance
blushed while Joey glared as if to say, 'do you really need to ask?'.

	"Umm..."

	"Get a room," Brian said tiredly from his place next to JC, who was
talking to Chris.  Joey and Lance both stuck their tongues out at Brian and
he grinned evilly.

	"Don't stick those things out at me unless you plan to use 'em," he
teased.  The pair looked at him and then at each other.

	"What room are you in, baby?  We'd be glad to give you a
demonstration of our tongue control later," Joey growled, winking.  Brian
turned bright red, causing everyone else to laugh.

	"I don't think Bri here has ever been such a lovely shade of red,"
Kevin said thoughtfully, swallowing his smile at the same time.  "How *did*
you do it?"

	"We want to thank the Academy... whoops.  Sorry," Lance laughed.
Brian blushed again before kicking Lance under the table, ending the
arguement.  The rest of dinner went smoothly, and the group got back to
their hotel about ten o'clock that night.

	"I need sleep," JC groaned.  Howie and Kevin had already gone up to
their rooms, AJ had disappeared somewhere, Joey and Lance were at the pool,
and Chris was on his cell talking to Danielle.

	"I hear ya, Josh!" Justin and Nick agreed.  Brian nodded as well,
so the four men bid each other goodnight and headed off to bed.

	"Justin, can you stay with me tonight?" JC asked shyly once the two
*NSyncers reached their floor.

	"Whenever you need me," Justin said, following JC into his room.
The two fell into bed and were asleep almost instantly.  No more than four
hours later, Justin's screams woke JC up.

	"Nononononononononono!" Justin screamed, thrashing around on the
bed.  JC sat up and grabbed his friend's arms.

	"Justin!  Wake up!  JUSTIN!" JC started shaking his friend hard,
attempting to wake him up.  No response.

	"That hurts... please don't hurt me... God, don't hurt me..."
Justin's screams had turned into little whimpers by that point and JC froze
up in fear.  Had Justin... JC shook Justin one last time, finally bringing
the younger man out of his dream.  Justin blinked the sleep out of his eyes
and saw JC's face hovering above him, blue eyes concerned.

	"What were you dreaming about, JuJube?" JC asked softly.  Justin
turned away, not wanting to think about it.

	"Josh, don't..."

	"Justin, TELL ME.  I need to know, sweetie."

	"He was here, Josh."

	"Who was?"

	"The guy who raped you and Lance." JC's face went white.  "I *felt*
him do things to me, Josh!"

	"Justin, he's not here, I promise.  I won't let him do anything to
you, JuJube.  No matter what, I promise you that."

	"I felt him, Josh..."

	"It was a dream, sweetie.  A bad dream."

	"I know what you and Lance went through now..."

	"I hope to God you don't, Justin," JC sighed.  "I wouldn't wish
that on anybody, not even my worst enemy."

	"Josh, who was it?" Justin suddenly demanded, sitting straight up
in the bed.  It was JC's turn to look away.  "Josh, tell me- who was it.  I
need to know."

	"Justin, why?"

	"I need to know.  I need to know if we're thinking of the same
person at this moment.  I don't want to hate an innocent person."

	"Who was it for you?"  JC asked.  Justin leaned over and whispered
a name in JC's ear, and JC nodded once.  Justin's heart sank.  "HE did this
to you- and to Lance?"  JC nodded again.  "I'm going to fucking kill the
bastard!"

	"So why don't I save you the trouble?" a voice asked from the
doorway.  Both JC and Justin jumped at the sound of his voice and tried to
crawl backwards on the bed.

	"Oh, shit," Justin swore.  "Oh, shit."

************
Gotta love cliffhangers!  =-)

Colleen, the nsyncslash list's "Feedback Smurf"