Date: Fri, 07 Jul 2000 16:57:33 CDT From: Colleen Hasiuk <reader_colleen@hotmail.com> Subject: Tears In Your Eyes Chapter 5 ********* DISCLAIMER: I do not know any of these people, neither do I know their sexual orientations... this story is NOT REAL. If you're too young to be reading this, please go away. And, I am a "chick", so don't expect much sex. This is a character story, not a quickie. Feedback is good (reader_colleen@hotmail.com). Thanks go out to Yuli, Becca, Joey, Hamado, Kyle, and everyone else who's e-mailed me. I love you all! Special thanks to David for posting my story on the archives. Stories that you should check out include "Millennium Love" (love the use of AJ), "Not Meant to Be/Beyond What Is" (go Kyle!), "Remembering Petticoat Lane" and "Playing for Keeps" (my inspirations for this story), "Busta" (one of my all-time faves), "Superman Can't Fly" (Poor Lance!), "Lance and JC", "Josh and Just"... the list could go on forever (I think I have 99 some odd seperate stories bookmarked!). There are so many talented authors out there... ********* Chapter 5- For a Friend, For a Love "Lance?" Joey asked after they had stared into each other's eyes for a while. "We should get back to the hotel." "OK," Lance agreed, not taking his eyes off Joey. "Are we gonna tell the others about us?" "If you don't want to, we won't." "Can we keep it a secret for now? We'll tell the guys soon, but not just yet." "Whatever you want, James, whatever you want," Joey reassured his new boyfriend. Lance smiled softly. "Thank you for being so understanding, Joe," Lance said. "I don't deserve you." "Yes, you do," Joey disagreed. "You need some happiness right now." "You can say that again... and I don't mean it literally!" Lance laughed when Joey opened his mouth to repeat his statement. "So, where shall we go on our first date?" Joey asked. Lance shivered. "What?" "The idea of going on a date... it's a weird feeling." "What's so weird about it?" "I can be open about my feelings now. I don't have to hide anything from you anymore. It's something I'm going to have to get used to," Lance confessed. Joey kissed him. "I'll be there with you every step of the way," he promised. Lance grinned and kissed Joey back. "If we keep this up, Lance, we'll never get out of here!" Joey joked once Lance had disengaged his lips. "You say that like it's a bad thing," Lance teased. Joey raised an eyebrow. "So, my boyfriend's horny!" Joey laughed when Lance turned bright red with embarrassment. "I am not!" "Yes, you are," Joey mumbled as he kissed Lance's neck. Lance giggled at the feel of Joey's goatee scraping his neck and tickling him. "Stop it!" Lance squealed. Joey laughed and only rubbed his face harder into Lance's neck. "Joey-" Lance was squirming around, but Joey grabbed his shoulders and held him still. All of a sudden, Lance tensed up. "Joey, let go of me," Lance said firmly. When Joey didn't immediately respond, Lance repeated, "Joey, let go of me." "Lance?" Joey asked as he complied. Lance visibly relaxed once Joey's hands were off his body. "I have this thing about people touching me like that," Lance explained. "Did... he... do that?" "Nuzzle my neck or hold me still?" Lance asked. Joey stuck his tongue out. "Don't stick that thing out unless you intend to use it," Lance said. Joey's mouth dropped open. "My Lance has a dirty mind!" Joey teased. Lance blushed. "About my question, which one do you think I meant?" "Yes," was Lance's response. "Yes, what?" "Yes, he held me down like that." "Scoop..." "Joey, stop it. It's not your fault. We'll learn as we go along, okay?" Lance said. Joey nodded and leaned in to kiss Lance again. "Joe!" "Sorry, you're just so kissable!" Joey exclaimed. Lance looked at him funny. "What?" "You're just so kissable that I can't help myself!" "Joe, you need a nap, real bad." "Thanks, Scoop," Joey said dryly. "Don't mention it!" Lance laughed. "Come on, the manager's gonna be wondering what we were doing in here," Joey said. Lance smiled. "Wouldn't HE like to know!" "Lance has a dirty mind!" Joey sang. "Joey, if you don't start moving in two seconds, I'm going to murder you," Lance threatened. Joey jumped up from his chair and ran out the door, nearly colliding with the manager in the process. Lance mouthed an apology as he took off after his boyfriend, laughing. JC found his mind wasn't on the movie at all. He couldn't stop thinking about Joey and Lance. They seemed so cozy all of a sudden. Lance had come out, sure, but JC was pretty sure Joey wasn't gay. He *prayed* Joey wasn't gay. He didn't know what he would do if he had to see Lance dating someone else, especially one of his own bandmates. He knew it was stupid, but he couldn't help his feelings of jealousy. Suddenly hit by the urge to go for a walk, JC turned to Justin, who was sitting beside him, totally engrossed in the movie. "J, I'm gonna go for a quick walk," JC whispered. Justin looked over at him. "You want company?" "No, stay here and enjoy the movie. I'll be fine." "Be back in 10 minutes or I'll sic Busta on you after he's had beans," Justin threatened with a grin. JC stuck his tongue out, then got up and squeezed by Justin and headed out. As he was leaving, he heard Chris and Justin whispering and he knew Justin was telling Chris where JC was going. It sounded like they were argueing, but JC didn't catch what it was about before he was out the doors and in the lobby. After refreshing himself, he went over and sat on a nearby bench to let his mind wander. After about five minutes, JC thought he heard Lance's voice. *No, it can't be. He and Joey are in a movie,* JC thought to himself. Then, he heard it again, but this time it was closer. JC could also hear running footsteps. 30 seconds later, Joey appeared from out of nowhere, running towards the doors leading outside. Not far behind came Lance, laughing. Neither man saw JC watching them with great interest. Joey reached the doors first and pushed the handle, but he had chosen one that was locked. He turned, looking for another exit, but Lance was right there. "Gotcha!" Lance yelled as he caught up with Joey. Joey grinned and leaned closer, but Lance pushed him away. "Not here," he whispered. "We're too public." "Sucks to be me," Joey muttered. "I want to kiss you so bad!" "You just did that 5 minutes ago!" Lance exclaimed. JC had scooted closer in order to hear the conversation without being noticed, and he felt his heart twist when he heard Joey's words and Lance's response. "I can't help it Lance. I told you- you're just so kissable!" Before Lance had time to react, Joey leaned in and kissed him on the side of the neck before wrapping his arms around Lance in a 'man-hug'. To the casual observer it looked perfectly innocent, two guys giving each other 'man-hugs', but JC knew better. He felt his heart break as he realized that his bandmates had hooked up. JC felt the tears coming, but quickly pushed them back. *Not in public, not in public,* he told himself. Pushing himself off the bench, he half-ran for the bathroom. His quick exit caught the corner of Lance's eye and he turned just in time to see JC's red shirt disappear around a corner. "Shit," Lance swore. "What?" Joey asked. "JC saw us." "So?" "SO? He's gonna tell the other guys!" "Scoop, I don't think we have to worry about that," Joey said cryptically. "Why?" Lance asked. "Trust me. He won't tell." "He almost rejected me this morning," Lance muttered. "Lance, you dropped a total bombshell on us this morning! He didn't reject you, he was just shocked. Anyway, it didn't seem like his opinion really mattered to you." Lance's mouth dropped open. "How can you say that?" "Lance, just let it go. I shouldn't have said anything," Joey said. Lance didn't look happy, but he didn't argue. Joey started off in the direction they had seen JC run. "I'm going after him." "Why?" "Lance, just because you're pissed off at him for whatever reason doesn't mean he's not human anymore! I saw his face when we hugged- he looked like he was about to start crying!" Lance took a deep breath and thought about Joey's words. He was right. JC was still a human being with feelings, and no matter what Lance thought, JC deserved his support. "I'll come with you." "Are you sure?" "Yeah. I miss my friend." Those were probably the most heartfelt words Joey had ever heard Lance say about any of the others. He smiled. "Come on. I think I know where he went." With that, he and Lance took off. Joey made a beeline for the bathroom, having a very strong feeling that JC had ended up there. "Josh?" Joey called as he and Lance entered the bathroom. There was nobody else visible in the room, although they could hear sniffles coming from one of the stalls. At the sound of Joey's voice, the sniffling became much quieter. "JC? Come on, what's wrong?" "L- Lance?" JC's voice asked. "Yeah, it's me." "Why are YOU here?" Lance almost cringed at the words. "We want to help you," Joey said. JC let out a sarcastic laugh. "Why?" "Because we care." "Really?" JC demanded. He emerged from a stall somewhere in the middle and went over to the sink to wash his face. He glanced in the mirror to see Lance and Joey looking back at him, holding hands. "Yes, Josh, we care," Joey said firmly. JC turned his attention to his hands in order to avoid looking at the couple. Joey was silent for a minute before he turned to Lance. "Go get Chris and Justin and tell them we're going back to the hotel," he told Lance. "We are working this out whether you two want to or not." JC looked panicked. "Joey, no." Lance looked confused. "Josh-" "NO!" JC yelled. Lance took a step closer to JC, causing JC to back away one step. This continued until Lance had JC pinned against the wall. JC closed his eyes so he didn't have to look at Lance until he felt Lance's presence directly in front of his face. "Look at me," Lance ordered. "I can't." "JC, look at me." Slowly, JC opened his eyes, but he still wouldn't meet Lance's gaze. He looked somewhere over Lance's shoulder, meeting Joey's eyes before he focused somewhere else. If he looked directly at Lance, JC knew he would break down and blurt out everything. And he couldn't hurt Lance like that. "JC? You and I need to talk," Lance said. JC stiffened and Lance backed up a step. "I tried this morning, remember? You didn't seem too interested then, so why should I want to talk now?" JC said rudely. Lance looked down at his feet. "I'm sorry, JC." "Lance!" Joey yelled. JC looked at him, confused. Lance smiled before turning his head slightly. "There are going to be times when I need to say I'm sorry, Joey," Lance said. Joey fell silent again. Lance then turned back to JC, who was quietly edging away. "Get back here," Lance commanded. JC stopped in his tracks and just stood there. "Come here," Lance said again. JC didn't move, so Lance moved instead. "JC," Lance started quietly. "It will take me a long time to forgive you, but we need to talk about this." "What's there to talk about?" JC asked. "What we're going to tell the others." "We're not going to tell them." "Why not?" "Because I don't want them to hate me like you do," JC said in a broken voice. Lance had the sudden urge to hug JC, but he fought it. He couldn't touch JC, not just yet. He stood there, studying his friend (he hoped) and bandmate in silence. JC took Lance's silence as a sign he agreed with JC's words, so JC started edging away again. This time, Lance let him go. JC felt the tears start to well up again and retreated into a stall. Lance stood there for a minute, listening to JC cry. He knew that whatever he was feeling, JC was feeling it ten times worse. For the first time, Lance felt something other than hatred for JC, but he knew it would be a long time before he could show it. "I don't hate you, Josh," Lance quietly whispered to himself, so quietly that even Joey didn't hear. Lance sensed Joey's presence beside him and looked up. "Go get Chris and Justin," Joey reminded Lance. Lance nodded and left the bathroom before he, too, started to cry. Joey turned his attention to JC, who was still locked in a stall. "Josh..." Joey started. "Joey, please. Don't ask me about what's going on between me and Lance," JC begged through his tears. "I wasn't going to. I was going to ask you how long you've been in love with Lance." "What?" JC asked, shocked that anyone besides Justin could read him that easily, and not even Justin knew that little tidbit. "JC, it doesn't take a genius to figure out why you were crying after seeing Lance and me hug. I'm just surprised I didn't see it earlier." "Even Justin doesn't know," JC said softly, not even bothering to deny it. "I hid it from everyone." "Why?" "Because I thought everybody would hate me if I told them." "Josh, Lance is gay, and I'm only God knows what! If there's a category for me, it's probably bi-sexual, but you know how I hate labels." JC grinned at Joey's words, and then became sad again. Unlocking the stall door, he walked over to look Joey in the eye. Joey's heart broke when he saw the dead look in JC's eyes- a look he, in part, had caused. "Just don't hurt Lance," JC said to Joey. "I don't think I can handle seeing him in any more pain." "I'll try my best not to," Joey promised. "Are you ever going to tell him?" "No," JC said. "I made up my mind a long time ago that I'd never tell him because he needs someone who can love him. I can't love anybody- not even Lance- but you can." "So you're just going to walk away?" "Yes. Joey, I love you both too much to get between you. I can't give him the love he needs. You can, and I'm not going to interfere with that." "What makes you think you can't love anyone?" Joey asked, JC's words finally dawning on him. "Joey, please," JC said. "Don't ask me again." "JC, I just want to understand what's going on in your head," Joey said. "And if this something to do with Lance, I think I deserve to know." "Joey, don't try to understand me," JC said harshly. "It's my decision, my life. And yes, it has something to do with Lance, but that's all I'm saying." "JC..." "Joey, leave it." "Alright, JC," Joey sighed. "I'll keep my mouth shut." "Thank you," JC said softly as Justin barreled into the bathroom. "Josh- what the fuck? Why were you crying? Josh?" Justin quickly pulled JC into a hug and started rubbing his back. At Justin's gesture, JC started to cry again. Joey shook his head and left the bathroom, leaving the best friends alone. "Josh?" Justin asked again. JC sniffled and moved away from Justin's shoulder. He had been doing waaaaaaaay too much crying recently. "I'm fine, Curly," JC said unconvincingly. Justin shook his head. "Josh, you never used to lie to me. Why have you started now?" "J, it's something I have to work through on my own, OK? If I thought you could help me, I would have talked to you long ago. Trust me, there's nothing you can do." "Come on, Josh," Justin said once JC was composed again. "Lance dragged Chris and me out of our movie saying we were going back to the hotel to have a 'talk'. What's up?" "I have no clue," JC half-lied, wiping the last of the tears from his face. Justin grabbed a paper towel and gently washed his friend's face. When Justin was done, you almost couldn't even tell that JC had been crying. "JC, why were you crying?" Justin asked again. "You've been crying so much this last little while. It's not like you." "It's nothing, Curly. Now come on, the others are waiting." Justin took JC's hand in his own and silently led his best friend out of the bathroom. They found Joey and Lance holding hands while Chris was looking everywhere but at the couple. "We good to go?" Justin asked. "And what is with the hand-holding over there?" "Joey and I are dating now," Lance said matter-of-factly. Justin grinned. "Well, that saves me the trouble of giving your boyfriend the third degree!" he exclaimed cheefully. JC smiled sadly while Chris' eyes focused on JC and Justin's hands. "What's up with you two?" he asked. He got identical looks of confusion from JC and Justin, so Chris wordlessly pointed to their enjoined hands. "Oh! I felt like holding my best friend's hand. Is that okay with you?" Justin asked snidely. JC hit him. "J, don't be rude! Justin grabbed my hand as we were leaving the bathroom. Does that make you uncomfortable?" JC asked Chris. Chris squirmed for a minute before shaking his head. "Not really. It's just a lot to take in at once. I'll get used to it. Just give me time." Lance and Joey nodded and gave Chris a quick hug. "We know you love us," Lance said quietly. Chris smiled. "I don't need to love you anymore, Scoop- you got a man for that now!" "Oh, you!" Lance laughed as he punched Chris. "Kids!" Justin called. "Are we leaving or not?" "Yeah," Joey said. "We're ready." "I call shotgun!" JC yelled. "Josh, it's your car," Justin reminded him. "Oh, right." "I'll drive," Lance offered. "Then *I* get shotgun," Joey said smugly. "Dating the driver has it's advantages!" Chris stuck his tongue out at Joey while the others laughed. JC handed over his keys just as Chris and Joey took off, Chris threatening to beat Joey senseless. "Chris, you're going to have to beat sense into him before you can beat it out of him!" Lance called. JC nearly fell over with laughter as Justin snorted. The three of them walked out in silence. As they approached the car, they could hear the sounds of a scuffle. Joey and Chris were discovered holding each other down in various wrestling holds. Once they realized the others were watching them, they both jumped up and brushed themselves off. "Lance, that was a low blow," Joey muttered as he remembered his boyfriend's words. Lance grinned. "Hey, it's true!" he defended himself as he unlocked the car door and got in. Joey shrugged and got in the other side, leaving Chris, Justin and JC to get in the back. Once Lance got the car moving, all conversation stopped. JC put his head on Justin's shoulder and fell asleep while Chris looked out the window. Joey was flipping through radio stations, trying to find a good song while Lance was attempting not to kill him. When they reached the hotel, Chris and Lance got out of the car while Joey stayed behind to help Justin get JC up to his room without waking him. It had been so long since JC had slept that Justin didn't have the heart to wake him up. Chris had already entered the hotel by the time Justin had his seatbelt undone. Lance waited a beat longer to talk to his boyfriend. "Joe, we'll meet you in Chris' room later in a couple of hours?" Lance asked. Joey briefly looked up from undoing JC's seatbelt as he nodded. Lance gave him a quick kiss, then he, too, entered the hotel. Joey grabbed JC while Justin got their stuff from the trunk. They went into the hotel in silence, so as not to wake JC. In the elevator, Joey took the chance to study the man he was carrying. For his height, JC was surprisingly light in Joey's arms, indicating how much weight he had lost recently. Justin reached over to smooth JC's hair back from his forehead, smiling softly to himself. "You really love him, don't you?" Joey asked softly. "He's been my best friend for so long. He's my brother. He's almost more of a parent to me than my own mother. Of course I love him!" Justin seemed shocked that Joey would think that he didn't love JC. "Just friendship?" Joey questioned. "What? Your gaydar pinging or something?" Justin asked. Joey blushed and Justin quietly laughed. "Not me! I'm a raving heterosexual. No doubts for me!" "That's what I thought. You guys are too close to be in love," Joey said. "What?" "Nothing," Joey said just as the elevator opened onto their floor. From Chris' room there came the sound of him talking on the phone, but there was silence from Lance's room. *Weird,* Joey thought to himself. *Maybe he's taking a quick nap.* Joey shook his head and followed Justin into JC's room, where he gently placed the sleeping man on the bed. "You gonna stay with him? Joey whispered. Justin nodded, stretching out beside his friend. "See you in a little while," Justin said as he closed his eyes. Joey smiled and left the room, closing the door behind him as quietly as possible. Going back into his own room, he tried the door between his and Lance's room and found it was locked. *Double weird. Well, I'll see him later, anyway,* Joey's mind said. He went over to his bed and stretched out, falling asleep in minutes. FIVE MINUTES EARLIER: Lance and Chris walked into the hotel, laughing. Chris had just told an incredibly funny joke, causing Lance to double over with laughter. Once Chris realized that Lance was receptive to his jokes, he continued to tell them until Lance was laughing too hard to breathe. He sat down on the floor of the elevator, trying to catch his breath. When Chris opened his mouth, Lance held up hand. "No more," he gasped. Chris grinned like a cat that had eaten a canary. The elevator 'dinged' as it reached their floor, and as the doors opened, Chris helped Lance up. "See you later, Scoop," Chris said as he headed down the hallway into his room. Still snickering, Lance put his key-card in the door and stepped into the room. Placing his stuff on the bed, Lance sat down at the desk to look over some papers for FreeLance. Suddenly, he heard a noise behind him. "Joe?" Lance called, not turning around. "Back already?" "It's not Joe," a familiar voice hissed. Lance whirled around and opened his mouth to yell for Chris, but the other man was ready and shoved a cloth into his mouth. Pushing Lance back onto the bed and quickly tying him down before he even had a chance to fight back, the man grinned evilly. "Didja miss me?"