Date: Sat, 1 Jan 2000 13:34:53 -0800
From: Rich Henderson <richy@onebox.com>
Subject: Tell Me Why part 1

This story is completely fictional. Rich is a made up character and Kevin
and the rest of the BSB are not neccesarily homosexual. And yata yata yata,
dont read this if your under 18 or 21, lol, I'm not sure.

Ok, this is my first real attempt at a story so dont rip it apart. The
narrator of this story is Rich, a made up character. He's 6', well built,
bright blue eyes and has brown/blonde hair. Hmm..Lets get on with the story
I guess. :)

"God...I've never..been so...I mean..happy doesn't even begin to describe
this..This must be love...I'm 17...and I have love..", so many thoughts at
once raced through my head that starlit friday night. It was probably the
best moment of my naive life. It was the day when I first experienced love
in its truest form...I made love to my best friend...my boyfriend..  my
hero..the apple of my eye..I gave my virginity to Kevin..I know it may
sound like a whole bunch of b/s to romantisize horniness..but it
was..well...for me at least it was love.  I loved Kevin. Kevin loved
me. (As far as I knew) And no matter what tommorow holds, tonight was worth
it all.

Kevin - "Are you ok?"

Rich (me) - (smiling)"I've never felt better babe"

Kevin - "Ok..I'm gonna go..you know..*He smiles sheepishly*..faster..so
brace yourself.."

I gritted my teeth..not in pain..but in extreme pleasure. I gripped to
sheets to keep from screaming. This made Kevin smile.

Kevin - "I...mmm....close" I reached up and pulled him into a kiss as he
released his...love..into me.  I broke this kiss.

Rich - "Kevin?"

Kevin - "Yeah babe?" He moves out of me and pulls me into his embrace.

Rich - "If it were possible.....I mean..I would"

Kevin - "Spit it out....No pun intended" He smiled his million dollar smile

Rich - "I dont know..I was just thinking..How...I'd love to be yours..you
know..as in forever?"

Kevin - "Umm...Your not asking me to marry you are you?"  I couldn't figure
whether he was entertained by the idea or shocked..in a bad way.

Rich - "No..I mean..No not at all..I was just..thinking, thats all. Dont
worry, I think a lot of weird things" I was so worried, I didn't even know
what I was saying. I didn't even know if what I was saying made any sence
or if Kevin was buying it.  He didn't say anything, he kept his arm around
me until I fell asleep.  Until I fell asleep. Then it was gone.  When I
woke up I was alone. I checked the kitchen, maybe he was making breakfast,
he was always doing that kind of thing. No, not in the kitchen...maybe he
was at...  He wasn't anywhere. He was gone.  For the first few weeks I
could do nothing but cry and lie in bed awake.  I couldn't eat. Food made
me sick. I couldn't watch tv. Tv made me sick. I couldn't talk to
people. People made me sick.  ~5 years later~ (I'm 23)

"-But we are two words apart, cant re-" I clicked off the radio.

Ashley - "HEY!"  Ashley was by best friend for the last few years. She had
helped me through my dark stage. She was the first person since Brian and
Kevin that I had come out to. She helped me get my life in order and to
stop worrying about that asshole. Although, she didn't know the asshole was
one of the guys she admired most.  Kevin Scott Richardson of the Backstreet
Boys.  She cliked the radio back on just as Kevins line came up.

Rich - "Ugh, dont you get tired of this after a while? I mean...Really.
Its kinda pathetic."

Ashley - "Shut up! You know you love them. And...you have to love
them..Because I'll kill you if..umm.."  She looked nervous.

Rich - "Spit it out."  I flinched at Kevins lines coming out of my
mouth. She didn't notice.

Ashley - "Well, you know how it was my birthday last week?"

Rich - "Hmm...no..no recollection at all."  She pushed me playfully.

Rich - "What about it?"

Ashely - "Well......I HAVE 2 BACKSTREET TICKETS FOR THE MILLENIUM TOUR AND
YOUR COMING WITH ME!!!"  She was practically jumping up and down.

Rich - "Sweetie...I hate to tell you but I have--"

Ashley - "NO! Shut up! I did my research, I called your work, and your off
for the next two weeks."

Rich - "Ya right, I'm lucky if I'm off 2 days in a row."

Ashley - "Ya, but not when your great aunt just died!"

Rich - "I dont have a great-...Hey! You cant do that! They'll find out."

Ashley - "Come on, just because you dont eat it doesn't mean you have to be
a pussy!"  I was shocked.

Rich - "Ok..first of all...Eeeww..and I dont have a second of all, but I'm
pretty sure its gonna be Eeeew. Anyways, you know I dont like that type of
music and I'm not in the habit of surrounding myself with 13 year old girls
who's rather knock me down than walk around me."

Ashley - "I'll protect you, it'll be fun. Please, your my best friend and
this is gonna be one of the most wonderful times in my life and I want you
to be there. Please?"

Rich - "Ugh, dont cry about it."  She smiled.

Ashley - "Is that a yes?"

Rich - "No."  She looked ready to burst into tears.

Rich - "Its a 'I give in'."  She gave me a big bonecrushing hug.

Ashley - "Ok, the concerts in 3 days, I'm going with my cousin Kara on a
cruise, so I'll just have to meet you then. Uh..I'll pick you up. Yeah, ok,
gotta jet now hon, its 1 am, you kept me here all night."

Rich - "Well, if I thought you'd leave sooner I would've gladly shown you
the door."  She gave me a kiss on the forehead than raced out the door.

"This is gonna be weird", I thought to myself, "I mean, I dont want to see
him. It might bring up old issues. I mean, I may have gotten over him, but
I was still hurt by what he did to me. And what if he happens to glance my
way, what then? Will he think I'm stalking him?  No. Well, no because the
chances of him seeing me were one in a million. Still, I'd be close to him,
I'd hear his voice in person, I'd see him moving. Oh god, what have I
gotten myself into? Well, I couldn't back down now. I'd just have to bear
it."  That was my last thought before drifting off to sleep.

~Day of the concert~ I started tonguing his nipple through his thin t-shirt

Kevin - "Richy, stop moving so fast you hornytoad."  He giggled at his
comment.

Rich - "Ok, fine. I'm sorry."  I pretended to be offended and walked away I
was just about to turn the door handle when-- Whoosh, I was 4 feet off the
ground in Kevins arms.

Rich - "Hey! Put me down! You know how much I hate this! Ugh!"  I didn't
really hate it, but the thing I did hate was being treated like a lady. I
was 100% masculine manliness.  I mean, I could bench press more he could
anyways, I should be picking him up.  He set me down on the bed and cuddled
next to me. I loved that. That was his thing, he cuddled with me whenever
he had the chance. I was like his personal pillow.

Kevin - "Rich, wake up hon."

Rich - "What? I am up silly!"

Kevin - "Rich common we're gonna--" ____________________________________
Ashley - "--be late for the concert!"

I was now fully awake.  Ugh! Damn, I was dreaming. I was so mad at
myself. How could I be fanstasizing about him of all people!? But then I
realized it wasn't a dream, I mean it was, but it wasn't a fantasy
dream. It was a flashback. That all had happened. I didn't know how I had
remembered that I mean..I usually remembered things like that but..Not
things involving Kevin. I mean..I thought that I forgot about him. Or at
least what we had. It was the hardest thing to forget, but I guess that was
a lie, I remembered everything although I chose not to think about it. What
was happening to me?--

Ashley - "HELLO!, common!, NOW!"  She threw what I assumed was my clothes
for the concert at me and left the room.  She was all giddy throughout the
entire car ride. She wasn't normally so flashy with her teeny-bopper'esque
but I guess I can understand. I felt a similar feeling. I was so anxious.
Not anxious to get there, but anxious to get this thing over with.  After
hours of playing parking spot safari, shuffling through a maze of girl
power adolesence, and getting past the ticket police, we were in what I
guess was the waiting room. There was only like 50 girls and maybe 1 or 2
other guys here.

Rich - "Are we early?"

Ashley - "Only about 2 hours."  She smiled.

Rich - "Umm...May I ask why?"  I was aggitated. I could've used the sleep.
She flashed me this shiny gold card. I glanced it over.

Rich - "Your kidding me?"  Now I was worried, so much that I had to glance
away to keep her from noticing.

Ashley - "No way, I mean, this is why I was so excited! Do I look ok?  Is
my hair frumpy? Does my lipstick clash with my shirt buttons?"  No way was
I gonna go backstage with her.

Rich - "Thats great, umm--", I pointed to a cafeteria area, "I'll wait
there."

Ashley -"No way! I mean..I know your not as fond of them as me..but damn,
their still celebrities!"

Rich -"Really, its ok, I'll just sit in there and when you come back you
can tell me all about it."

Ashley -"Umm...If your sure..OK!"  She wasn't about to let me spoil her
mood.  I walked inside the cafeteria place, it was smaller than it
looked. But it had vending machines. I got myself a diet sprite and a
Mounds chocolate bar and sat down. I picked up a paper off the table and
started to skim through. I was annoyed but not surprised that I couldn't
read the paper.  I mean I could see the words but I couldn't really
think. I put my head down on the table. "Get out of my head
Kevin..please". The words came out, but they were so weak that even I had
trouble hearing them. I sat there with my head down for a while. Until I
fell asleep.

I awoke to someone clearing their throat loudly. Startled I jumped up.

"Oh uh, sorry to wake you, but umm..", he smiled shyly, "Your kinda not
supposed to be here."  He was a blonde guy, tall as me, and...Oh
god...ugh..as if things weren't screwed up enough.

Nick - "Anyways, how did you get passed security?"

Rich - "Oh umm...I'm so sorry..I was just waiting for my friend.."

Nick - "Oh, was she at the concert?"

Rich - "Huh? I mean, she's...uh..she went to the backstage signing thing."

Nick looked just as confused as me.

Nick - "Umm...that must be how you got in.."  I looked at him
questioningly.

Nick - "Security stood by that door throughout the concert, you must have
got here before them and they didn't notice you." He smiled. He seemed to
be proud of his detective skills.  "Oh yah, I'm Nick" He reached out his
hand to me for a handshake. He was so cute, not that I had an interest in
him, just..cute like a baby, or a puppy. I shook his hand.

Rich - "I'm Richard..." I was still confused. "My friend was supposed to
meet me before the concert."

Nick - "I guess security thought she was using a story. We get a lot of
that."

Rich - "Yah, I can imagine."  "Hey, whose your 'friend' ", the brown haired
guy--NO--NO--Brian! He moved closer to us.  I turned away swiftly.

Nick - "Yah, I know he's kinda ugly, but its kinda rude to be repulsed at
someone you just met." he joked.  "Hey Bri, this is Rich. He kinda
accidentally fell asleep in here during the backstage signing thing."

Brian - "Accidentally huh?"  After I had pulled my hat down a little and
put my dark ray ban sunglasses on I turned to him.

Rich - "No, I mean, my plan was to lewer you guys in here, steal your
underwear, and sell them on the black market."  Nick bursted out laughing.

Brian - "Well, dont bother with Nick, he doesn't wear any."  Nick playfully
pushed Brian into the wall.

Nick - "Yah, and whose fault is that? I mean, its kinda weird that you keep
taking my boxers Bri, I mean..Dont think I dont know"

Rich - "Umm...I guess I'll be going now."

Brian - "Oh hey, you like Limp Bizkit?"

Rich - "What? Umm...I guess why?"

Brian - "Your hat."  I was wearing a red yankees hat.

Rich - "Oh, I just like the hat, thats all. I dont really follow up on
celebrity trends."

Nick - "Than why are you wearing Aj Mclean glasses?"

Rich - "What? These are mine."

Nick - "Hmm...Right over your head.."

Rich - "Umm..ok...It must be that new disease thats going around"

Nick - "What disease?"

Rich - "I dont know, but its something to do with blondes, the more you
hang around them, the more you think like them." (My hair was more brown
than blonde)

Nick - "Hey! I am so sick of blonde jokes!"

Rich - "What are you gonna do about it?"  Nick - "Well...I'll take those
fancy smancy glasses"

Rich - "Like hell you wi--" I would've finished the sentence if he didn't
take my glasses as I was saying it.  He threw them to Brian.

Rich - "Hey! Careful! Those were specially made for me!"

Brian - "Well excuse me, but even if I did break them, I could probably buy
you like 50 ones just like i--" He froze as he looked at me. Oh shit...He
recognizes me..I let myself go and I forgot hide my identity.

Brian - "I...umm..no..right? I dont..Richy?"  I was so panicked, I didn't
even realize it but I was walking fast strait toward the door. I would've
gone and not turned back but--

Brian - "Wait please."  I turned around.

Rich - "I know what this seems like but I can assure you its not what you
think, my friend begged me to come and I would have said no but she made me
come and I was only in that room just now because I was waiting for her to
come back and I fell asleep and I...I dont know...But thats all I have to
say. Believe what you want.

Brian - "Whoa...Umm...No, I wouldn't think that. After what happened, I
dont think you've come back to re-hook up with Kevin. But..now that your
here, you cant just leave again." He seemed to be pleading with me.

Rich - "Brian....I cant..I mean..I'm sorry..I know that you were--"

Brian - "Am..Richard, I am your friend."

Rich - "Ok, whatever, I know that your my friend and all but, you have to
understand...I cant see him."

Brian - "Running away from your problems doesn't make them go away, it just
gives them time to become bigger and stronger. I should know."

Rich - "How would you know?"

Brian - "I see it in Kevin every day for the last 5 years."  I was
overwhelmed. With emotions, with thoughts, with confusion, with
everything. I was almost trembling.

Brian - "I know its a hard decision to make..but..I dont know...I'd just
like to help you with it, I've know you for most of your life and you owe
it to me. I mean, you shut me out of your life just like Kevin did to you."
I was hurt. It was the truth. And it hurt me.

Rich - "It wasn't because of--"

Brian - "Dont bother, I understand all that, I havn't once hated you
because of it. But I'm saying, you owe it to me not to walk away
again. Even more than that you owe it to yourself.  After I stood
speachless for maybe 5 minutes, he spoke again.

Brian - "Look, even if you dont see Kevin, I want us to be friends again."

Rich - "I dont...I mean.."

Brian - "Dont take this personaly, but I have to go."

Rich - "Ya, I got to find Ashley now"

Brian reached out and gave me a card with his number on it.  "If you dont
call me, I'll be very upset." He smiled. I dont know what made me do it,
I'm not usually so emotional, but..I hugged him. He seemed pleased. I dont
know what effect this is gonna have on my life, on Brians life, or on
Kevins life..But..I think I'm going to listen to Brian. He's always been
there for me, and I'm not gonna betray him again.

---Thats it for now, it might not be too good, but, I think I can do better
next time. Its just I think the introductory story is the hardest one to
do. Feedback would be appreciated if you want at richy@onebox.com lol, ya,
my name is Rich, but hey, its my fantasy..so I get to be in it, lol.