Date: Sun, 27 May 2001 16:52:31 -0700 (PDT)
From: NCfan <ngclle@yahoo.com>
Subject: boy-bands/the debt 9

Hey!  I just wanted to thank all those people who sent me encouraging email
for the last chapter.  You guys made me ecstatic.  Thanks Shawn for all
that info.  And to Nike, since you so adamantly wanted a sweet, less
gut-wrenching chapter than the last.  I can't promise you anything.  Just
read.  And Dara-you're the sweetest.  You kept my desire to write alive.
And Elly and Derek--I'm really grateful for your kind words.

Disclaimer: Once again, I don't know the BSB.  The following is purely a
work of fiction and in no way represents the BSB's beliefs.  All under 18
are advised to not continue reading.

***********************

Brian and his brothers watched with anxiety as their very own father hunted
down the one person they thought they had hated the most in this world.
Brian could not believe what had happened in the past few minutes.  He was
shocked by his father's sudden bout of cruelty towards Nickolas, a mere
boy.

Brian had fought for the boy's life.  For what reason, he himself did not
understand.  All he knew was that his father was giving the death sentence
to someone he had used for love.  And that made Brian nauseous.  Even
though he disliked the boy from the start, not due to any fault of the boy,
he couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt.

So Brian stared helplessly along with his brothers and their family
friends, awaiting Nick's cruel fate.  How Brian wanted desperately to grab
a horse himself and run after the two.  He looked at his other brothers,
and to his relief, he saw the exact same sentiment.  But why did none of
them budge from their position?

Perhaps it was fascination.  Brian looked out at the hunting grounds, and
to his surprise, the father hadn't caught up with Nickolas at all.  Brian
had to hold his breath to make sure that he wasn't seeing things, but
Nickolas was cleverly dodging his father's advances.  His father had used
up three arrows already, and none of them had struck the boy yet!

Brian had to squint and push aside his curiosity.  Nickolas' glowing blond
hair seemed an easy target enough.  But it was also the hair that made him
startlingly attractive, Brian hated to admit.  And perhaps that was why
their father had such a difficult time aiming at the boy.  Every time he
tried, he would falter.  And Nickolas' was quick on his feet.  The boy was
surprisingly very clever.  Every movement he made was quick, accurate and
mind-boggling.  Brian was starting to wonder how their father had come to
acquire someone so stunning and rather quick-witted.  He was ashamed to
admit it, but Brian was starting to feel that maybe his father did not
deserve the boy.  True, the boy was a peasant, but . . . Brian stared at
the sharp features.  Nickolas was ten times as beautiful as the last boy
. . . and his family thought that the last boy was stunning enough.

It was an unverbalized consensus amongst him and his brothers.  Nickolas
could not have been real.  Every afternoon, when the boy would bring their
writing utensils to their room, each would try to sneak a look at him while
he was not looking.  None could refute the fact that the boy was ravishing.
That was why they held their tongues.  Even their mother, after that
initial scolding of the boy never bothered once again say anything to him.

But they all repressed their anger.  And even though they didn't show it in
front of the boy, they withheld all love or affection from him. Brian's
brothers and maybe he himself had been a tad envious of the love that their
father was pouring out to the boy.  And Brian suspected that maybe one of
the reasons why the father had put Nickolas on the spot and hunt him down
was because he wanted to prove that he could resist Nickolas' charms.  He
wanted to prove to his family that he was not bewitched.  But as Brian
stared at the hunting grounds, he started to realize that his father had
been bewitched since the first day Nick was brought back to the castle.

Brian sighed in relief.  Nickolas would live today.  Even if their father
tried his hardest to shoot into the boy's heart, the boy was so clever on
his hands and feet that Brian doubted his father would be able to hurt the
boy in any way.

Perhaps Brian spoke too soon.  He suddenly focused on Nickolas again and
realized that the boy was slowing down and raising his arms to his head.
Brian opened his eyes wider to see what was going on.  He jerked back,
startled when he realized that the boy was fainting.  Was it due to shear
exhaustion?  The blond boy started to slow down and brought his hand up to
his forehead before falling listlessly on the grass.  And there, his father
stood on his horse, last arrow pulled back and ready to strike its target.
Immediately, Brian grabbed a horse nearby and headed straight for his
father and Nickolas.  He didn't know what he was going to do, only that he
had to be there!  He could hear as his brothers also grabbed the reigns of
the nearest horses.

**************

The master stood poised on his horse, staring down at the boy he had loved
and made love to for so many days now.  The boy's form laid limply on the
grass, his chest rising and falling rapidly, gasping for air, but his mind
too tired to register his needs.

"Why couldn't you be less lovable?" the master looked sadly at the form of
his slave.  "Why did you have to be so silent, take everything that was
given to you?  Why didn't you fight back at any of the other servants?  Are
you not angry at the way anyone treats you?  Do you not have a single bit
of hatred in you?"

Nick breathed hard.  He could hear his master's voice, but could not
decipher what he said as he was gasping for air.  He was dizzy.  He
couldn't support himself anymore.  He weekly grabbed a stash of grass and
tried to move, but as expected, his muscles were no longer obeying his
will.  He couldn't see.  He was too tired.  "Master!" He tried to utter.

The master's head snapped at him, as if repulsed by Nick's voice.  "Don't
you dare try to soften me!  You know full well you're trying to control my
every emotion!  You try to invade my mind.  Why?  What's your ulterior
motive?  You make me think of you day and night!  What is it that you want
from me?  You want power, is that what you want?  You want to bewitch me
and try to steal power and money away from me?"

Nick could only hear parts of his master's little speech, but he could
decipher enough to realize that his master was going crazy.  "No.  No.
Please.  I don't want anything anymore.  Master, I only wanted you to love
me."

The master felt angrier by the minute.  "Love you for what?  Your beauty?
Your seductiveness?  Your body?  What is there to love?"

Nick felt the words stinging by the minute.  He held his tongue.  He really
didn't know why he was arguing.  Why did he want his master to love him
anyways?  Because he had never been loved?  Was that the reason?

Nick quieted down and shut his eyes tight, signaling for his master to get
over with it.  Why did he want to fight for his life anyways?  Why did he
yearn for the little bit of love that his master could probably not provide
for him?  "There is nothing in me to love."  His parents had told him that
once.  Perhaps it was all true.  What was there to love about him?  "Go
ahead."  Nick whispered, hoping that death would come swiftly.  He thought
he heard someone's voice in the background screaming, but he could not tell
if it was his hallucination.

And then, as he expected, he felt the sharp impact, throwing his body
backwards, sending him reeling back in pain.  He had never felt so much
pain in his entire life.  He didn't know where the arrow had hit him, but
he wanted to cry so bad.  Trouble was, it hurt more when he tried to make a
sound.  He clutched his body and felt the body of the arrow right on his
chest, and that was when he realized that his master had aimed for his
heart.  He felt the tears of pain and hurt streaking down his cheeks.  He
was embarrassed to die like this.  Surely he could hear the horses circling
him, probably finding the spectacle of his death amusing.

He couldn't understand what was so amusing about him suffering before he
died.  But he wasn't dying yet!  He felt the blood seep out of his body,
but he wasn't losing consciousness at all.  The pain was exponentially
increasing.  He waved his arms frantically around, trying to find that
arrow so that he could push it deeper into his body, hastening his death.
But he had become weak.  His hands were trembling like mad.  And to top it
all off, everyone was probably staring at his wrenching body.

That was when he felt warm hands cover his colder ones.  His eyes fluttered
for a moment to register a pair of warm blue eyes on his.  He would
recognize those eyes of Brian's anywhere.  Perhaps it was time to
surrender, to let death carry about its own business.  Struggling would not
help him at this moment.  So Nick stopped kicking and flailing his arms.
He closed his eyes, to keep that image of Brian in his head.  At least if
he died, he would bring away one good memory.

He closed his eyes and smiled.  Yes, think of it as a bad dream.  He would
soon wake up from this night horror.  He would soon be in a different
world!  At least he had an image to hold onto that was pleasing.  "It's
finally over! Am I not useful now, master?" Nick whispered in relief.  He
let his body go limp and slowly and patiently waited to die.

Brian started to panic as he saw Nick's form go limp in his arms.  "No,
it's not over yet!" Brian screamed.  He couldn't believe it!  Nick had
collapsed and his father showed him no mercy!  The boy was helpless and
unarmed.  What was his father thinking?  "No, you've always been useful.
Dying on us now is the most worthless thing you could do.  I command you to
wake up now!" Brian was in a frenzy.  His brothers quickly hovered around
Nick's body as they each helped Brian seal the wound and apply some
analgesics to the boy's body.

But as Brian and his brothers tended to Nick's wound, they could all feel
his body becoming cooler to the touch.  "No, Nick.  You're going to be safe
with us.  We're going to get you a nice warm bed! How does that sound?"
Brian asked, hoping to elicit a response from the boy.  He knew Nickolas
was still conscious.  The boy was angry at them.  He didn't want to talk!
That was it.  Nick was upset that they ignored him, right?

As Brian and his brothers quickly applied the medication and applied
pressure to the wound, Brian couldn't help but notice that his father was
poised on his horse and extremely quiet.  He quickly glanced at him, hoping
for some support, but to his shock, tears started to form in his father's
eyes.  "Father!  You can change all of this!  He needs your help.  He needs
your love!"  Brian cried out in a desperate attempt to elicit some sympathy
from his father.

The merchant looked at his son.  "I . . . can't."  With that, the merchant
rode his horse away from the castle.

Brian quickly focused back on Nick.  His brothers had helped a lot, and for
that, he was grateful.  Before long, they stabilized the boy and brought
him back to the castle.  The problem was that none of the servants were
willing to help.  They were afraid to go against the merchant's wishes.  So
Brian found that he and his brothers were working with little aid.  He
refused to let any of his brothers replace him, though.  He wanted to be by
Nick's side all night long.

Finally, his brothers gave up on him and let him alone with Nick in the
guest chambers.  Brian quickly dampened a small towel and began to wipe the
sweat off Nick's youthful face.  He trembled slightly.  This was the first
time that he had been so close to the boy.  Literally, their arms were
touching!  He had seen the boy from afar, but never had he been so close.
It was almost intimate, even.  The boy shuddered every time Brian touched
him, even if it were to just wipe off the sweat.

"I know you're awake!" Brian finally said quietly.  "You don't have to
pretend.  You're good at hiding your pain, but mind you, you can't fool
anybody."

Silence.

Brian sighed.  "You can't give us all this silent treatment.  You have to
tell us where it hurts so we can help you."

Silence.

"Father didn't really mean it.  He was just upset!" Brian continued.  "We
all want you alive."

A single teardrop trickled down the side of Nick's face.

Brian leaned in closer.  The boy was shivering by now.  But no matter how
pale he looked, his face was simply exquisite.  "I want you to live."

Just then, he saw Nick's lips move.  "Please, no more lies.  Let me go."

Brian felt the coldness in those words, the coldness of a boy who had lost
all hope.  "There are no lies to be told, only the truth."

Nick's eyes remained closed, as if he didn't want to look at Brian's honest
eyes.  "Thank you for the thought, though."

Brian raised his voice.  "That was not a thought!  Nickolas . . . " Brian
placed one hand over the boy's cheeks.  He too shuddered himself at the
touch.  He had never had so much physical contact with Nick before.  He was
afraid to because Nick had belonged to his father and every touch that his
father and Nick shared was always bordering on lust and sexual overtones.

Hearing his name made Nick shudder once more.  And the warmth of the hand
. . . he didn't want to linger on Brian's touch.  Pity was the last thing
he wanted.  What good did pity do to someone on their deathbed.  He tried
to roll his head to the other side, to hopefully keep Brian's hands away
from his cheeks.

Nick felt cold all over.  Why did death take so long?  The pain was now
incapacitating.

Brian heard Nick's quiet moan and felt his heart rate rise from
nervousness.  In his heart, he knew that Nick would not die.  For some
unknown reason, he could feel the warmth and life within the boy.  He
quickly grabbed a dry towel and gently dabbed Nick's forehead.  That was
when he noticed another presence in the room.  Brian quickly darted his
eyes and stared in surprise.  "Father?"

The master gazed at Brian's body hovered over his lover's figure.  There
was no hint of anger, just quiet envy.  "My son, I came to tend to
Nickolas' wounds."

Brian remained silent, trying to absorb what his father just said.

The master continued.  "I . . . It was a mistake.  You were right.  I
shouldn't have hurt him like that.  I was so helpless today.  And then you
voiced my innermost thoughts to everyone.  I could not help it.  I was
ashamed.  I did not want my family and friends to see my weak side.  I did
not want all the servants to know how Nickolas had stole my soul and
stripped me of my strengths.  Brian?  You understand, right?  My son,
please don't second guess my love for the boy.  I love him too much.  I
. . . "

Brian stared awkwardly at his father, all the while his hands drying the
sweat off Nickolas' face.  It seemed that for a while, Brian was staring
blankly at the walls.  "You love him?"  Although he phrased it as a
question, Brian realized that there was a sense of disappointment in his
tone.  But why would he be disappointed that his father loved Nickolas?

His father slowly approached him with a heavy heart.  Finally, father and
son sat on the bed and looked at each other as if finally understanding
each other for the first time.  The merchant looked at Brian with a slight
smile.  "Yes.  And when you defended Nickolas so bravely today, I finally
came to the realization that I have fallen in love with the boy.  And I was
so wretched for not admitting that to the world.  But you brought the light
back into my mind, son.  You had made me confront the truth."

Brian felt a lump form in his throat.  His arm now rested on Nickolas'
shoulder.  He didn't know whether he should be laughing or crying.

"May I?" the merchant asked as he stretched out his hand, beckoning for the
towel to dry Nick's sweat off.

With repressed reluctance, Brian slowly placed the towel into his father's
hands and stood up from the bed.  He quickly disappeared behind the door,
the tears starting to stream down his face.  Why was it so hard to pass
that towel on to his father?  He tried to gather himselt together and
walked back to his room.  He never noticed that as he walked away from
Nickolas the sly smile on his father's face.

The merchant looked down at Nick's semi-conscious body.  "I told you,
Nickolas, that I loved you.  That was not entirely false.  I love your
body.  How could I possibly go crazy and try to take it away today?  I'm
not done with you yet!  But it was good to shut my family up.  Now no one
will every question your role in this family.  You are to remain my love
object from now on."  He started to dab away the sweat from Nick's
forehead, just as Brian had done, but his movements were rougher, more
impatient, less affectionate.  Finally, the merchant flung the towel aside
and walked out of the room, giving the boy his rest.  That was right.  The
boy was tired, and he hadn't rested in a long time. a horse needed to rest
after a long run.  Nickolas was no different.

*********************

Nick healed quickly.  Within days, he was able to walk on his own for short
distances.  None of the servants dared ask him to do any menial work.  The
merchant's wife even remained out of Nick's way.  As for the sons, they had
treated Nick with more affection after the incident with their father.  And
the merchant had barely touched the boy.

Nickolas was confused and disoriented.  He remembered all that had
happened, but he was flustered by how passive the family was towards him.
Brian was rather odd, too.  He was always there in the morning and at night
to urge Nickolas to eat and to tend to his wounds.  Yet . . . he would
never utter more than a single sentence to Nickolas.  Nick did not question
that though.  He was too grateful for Brian's kindness to question anything
that the older boy did for him.

Finally, after a few more days, Nick fully recovered and began to do his
chores again.  Surprisingly, the servants no longer asked Nick to do the
menial work.  His only job was to follow his master's sons around and
provide for them during the day.  Nickolas was grateful as the sons were
kinder to him than the rest of the household.  And plus, he had the chance
to see Brian all day long.

He would follow the master's sons to their banquets, their classes and
their outings.  Nick was awestruck with his new responsibilities.  The sons
would even talk to him at times and teach him a thing or two about all the
different etiquette required of nobles.

About one week after Nick's injury, the sons allowed him to go horseback
riding with them.  The found a wonderful place full of lush green hills
next to the blue waters.  Nick had never witnessed anything so spectacular,
so carefree.  The winds were light and sedating at the same time.  The
problem was, Nick did not know how to ride a horse.  He offered to stay
back at the stalls, but the sons would have none of it.

"Nonsense," said one of them.  "You are our servant.  You should give us
something to be proud of."

"But what if he falls?  Dad would murder us!" said another son.

Nick looked nervously at the sons, especially at Brian, inwardly pleading
for their mercy and let him stay at the stalls.  He caught Brian's eyes and
to his horror, Brian had a twinkle in his eyes, one that Nick had never
seen before.

"I say I teach Nickolas how to go horseback riding!" Brian suddenly
blurted.  "He can share a horse with me since it is his first time."

The other sons found the idea rather good.  Before Nick had the chance to
voice his fears, the other three sons kicked their horses into action,
leaving Nickolas and Brian left.

Brian gazed at Nick with an expression of confidence.  He quickly got up on
his horse and extended his hand.  Nickolas stared at it for about a minute
before he reached out for Brian's hand.

Brian immediately felt the rush when Nick's fingers lightly held onto his.
He knew that he shouldn't have offered, but he couldn't help it.  He had
suppressed his desires for the past week.  A little play would not hurt,
would it?  Finally, Nickolas sat on the horse behind him, but the boy did
not know what to do with his hands.  Brian grabbed them from behind and
pulled him up around his sides.  "Keep your arms around my waist.  That
way, you cannot fall," he whispered, shuddering as Nickolas secured his
hands in front of his belly uncertainly.

Brian could feel Nick's chest brush against his back.  It was the most
exotic feeling he ever had in his life, and coupled with the cool breezes,
he felt as if he were in heaven.  With a little kick, the horse started to
gallop across the green grass.  Brian could see the waters from the side.
They were beautiful.  He smiled slyly as he kicked the horse and made it
gallop even faster, forcing Nickolas to tighten his grasp around Brian's
body.  Brian quickly turned around to look at the expression on Nickolas'
face, only to smile amusedly as Nickolas' eyes were shut tight from fear
and his face nuzzled safely into Brian's back.  How could someone who had
so bravely fought for his life last week now become a little lamb, hanging
onto him for dear life.

Let his father own the boy at night.  During the day time, Nickolas would
be Brian's to spend time with.  Brian could not have felt better as they
rode into the sunset behind his brothers.  All four horses eased into a
nice, easy gallop as they let the winds sift through their hair and blow
away all their fears and sorrows.  No words needed to be exchanged between
the brothers and Nickolas.  There was only themselves, the sunset and a a
pleasant happiness.  For the first time in quite a long time, they could
simply be wild and carefree.  Their hatred had disappeared behind their
newfound happiness.  And no one felt more happy than Brian.

*********************